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elanciano
Apr 2, 2013

I'm sure it's only a glitch. A temporary setback.

oldpainless posted:

I watched Up All Night every weekend when I was 12/13 years old always sure that this time I was gonna see some boobies.

Ha like when I was 13 and was certain that there had to be some episode of Silk Stalkings that had nudity in it.

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SybilVimes
Oct 29, 2011

oldpainless posted:

I watched Up All Night every weekend when I was 12/13 years old always sure that this time I was gonna see some boobies.

I just watched the porn on ch4 and my parents didn't care :smug: :britain:

SybilVimes fucked around with this message at 01:50 on May 22, 2014

BabyChoom
Jan 7, 2014

by XyloJW
I have two films that ruined my childhood.

The first one is like this kid goes to the new school but the teacher is different. These aliens are trying to get him everywhere. His parents won't listen to him except one woman. Then they get the proof and scientists and military all go into the Alien hive craft and one of them goes like "these guys are friendly" and trying to communicate with the hive like mutant aliens. A second later they disintegrate the scientist and its a real poo poo fest with everyone getting vaporized.

So the kid escapes with the people that he cared about and they stand by this fence near a ledge and watch as the spacecraft lifts off full of bright lights.

The kid wakes up the next day and everyone who he thought escaped with him are gone. He is totally abandoned. The aliens had taken them all except him. The box art for the movie was like a wooded fence on a ledge with trees on the edge with the giant spacecraft full of lights lifting off behind it (i think, this was the 80s and I was 6) This of course plagued me that at any time I could be left alone in the world.

The second film has to deal with the midevil ages. A prince is to marry a princess or something. It is a very dark and grim movie. They go and eat a mandrake under the corpse of a hanged man. After that a bunch of brigands intercept them and violently gang-rape the princess in front of her prince. She leaves with them and he is left for dead in a well. The woman actually falls in love with her rapists until the prince comes back for revenge. He doesn't kill the guy who the woman starting to love as he slips into the mist. Some notes on this is that Gunpowder was used unsuccessfully by the prince to cause a breach on a fort. Another thing of note was a very graphic depiction of a still birth. (I was 5 when I watched this film with my mother and older brother. During the rape scene, not knowing of sexuality as well as the jokes from family members in the room, it completed traumatized me and lingers to this day.

Edit: I think this is the second film is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flesh_and_Blood_%281985_film%29

So Can anyone find out what the first one is? I have been trying to find it for almost 15 years.

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006



elanciano posted:

Ha like when I was 13 and was certain that there had to be some episode of Silk Stalkings that had nudity in it.

I still can't quite believe that "Mitzi Kapture" was meant to be a serious actress name.

Arturo Ui
Apr 14, 2005

Forums Bosch Expert

BabyChoom posted:

I have two films that ruined my childhood.

The first one is like this kid goes to the new school but the teacher is different. These aliens are trying to get him everywhere. His parents won't listen to him except one woman. Then they get the proof and scientists and military all go into the Alien hive craft and one of them goes like "these guys are friendly" and trying to communicate with the hive like mutant aliens. A second later they disintegrate the scientist and its a real poo poo fest with everyone getting vaporized.

So the kid escapes with the people that he cared about and they stand by this fence near a ledge and watch as the spacecraft lifts off full of bright lights.

The kid wakes up the next day and everyone who he thought escaped with him are gone. He is totally abandoned. The aliens had taken them all except him. The box art for the movie was like a wooded fence on a ledge with trees on the edge with the giant spacecraft full of lights lifting off behind it (i think, this was the 80s and I was 6) This of course plagued me that at any time I could be left alone in the world.

The second film has to deal with the midevil ages. A prince is to marry a princess or something. It is a very dark and grim movie. They go and eat a mandrake under the corpse of a hanged man. After that a bunch of brigands intercept them and violently gang-rape the princess in front of her prince. She leaves with them and he is left for dead in a well. The woman actually falls in love with her rapists until the prince comes back for revenge. He doesn't kill the guy who the woman starting to love as he slips into the mist. Some notes on this is that Gunpowder was used unsuccessfully by the prince to cause a breach on a fort. Another thing of note was a very graphic depiction of a still birth. (I was 5 when I watched this film with my mother and older brother. During the rape scene, not knowing of sexuality as well as the jokes from family members in the room, it completed traumatized me and lingers to this day.

Edit: I think this is the second film is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flesh_and_Blood_%281985_film%29

So Can anyone find out what the first one is? I have been trying to find it for almost 15 years.

Invaders from Mars? Here's the box

BabyChoom
Jan 7, 2014

by XyloJW
thats the one. both those films ruined my life.

SnakePlissken
Dec 31, 2009

by zen death robot
Well I'm gonna add that Mars invasion movie to my Netflix list for sure. Tobe Hooper FTw!

Kaptain K
Nov 2, 2007


I must admit, I am fond of you humans.

May you enjoy serendipity,

And may the Age of Fire perpetuate.
Here's an easy one



What movie is this?

Zwabu
Aug 7, 2006

Kaptain K posted:

Here's an easy one



What movie is this?

The Counselor.

Kaptain K
Nov 2, 2007


I must admit, I am fond of you humans.

May you enjoy serendipity,

And may the Age of Fire perpetuate.
I knew that'd be easy!

edit: how in the buttfuck have I never heard of this movie when it has such big names attached?

edit2: wow after a little digging I see this movie is a real stinker and a complete bomb. 25mil budget 7mil earnings. I really need to watch it ASAP.

Kaptain K fucked around with this message at 01:56 on May 23, 2014

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Kaptain K posted:

I knew that'd be easy!

edit: how in the buttfuck have I never heard of this movie when it has such big names attached?

edit2: wow after a little digging I see this movie is a real stinker and a complete bomb. 25mil budget 7mil earnings. I really need to watch it ASAP.

Also screenplay by the writer of the novels No Country For Old Men and The Road were based on.

Impermanent
Apr 1, 2010
I remember a terrifying film from IFC where an animator used a vial of his own blood to draw himself into a cartoon so that he could kiss the version of Snow White or some other disney-esque princess that he drew before the seven dwarves beat him up?

I wish I could be clearer but it was like 1999 or so on TV so I don't remember a lot of detail. It was right after a claymation film where a guy with a machine gun shot a guy with a guitar and another film where an old german couple took care of a fish that learned to breathe on land but drowned when it fell in the ocean.

JackMackerel
Jun 15, 2011
I THINK this is THX 1138. What appears to be a nuclear power plant explodes, and the workers are fleeing it through multiple blast doors as the explosion gets through each and every one, one by one - one of the workers tries to slam a door shut when a coworker reaches through the threshold for help, but they're caught in the explosion.

Later, the cleanup crew drags a body down a hallway, trailing blood. This is all through security cameras.

that Vai sound
Mar 6, 2011
I remember watching a movie where some people are making an anonymous call and quickly hang up saying, "Prank call! Prank call!" I could have sworn it was Sneakers, but I just watched it and it wasn't in it. Unfortunately, searching for that quote turns up nothing useful. Any ideas on what the movie was?

Hibernator
Aug 14, 2011

Not precisely what you describe but the first thing that comes to mind is This scene from Pulp Fiction.

that Vai sound
Mar 6, 2011

Hibernator posted:

Not precisely what you describe but the first thing that comes to mind is This scene from Pulp Fiction.
Oh, hey, that is the movie I was thinking of. I must have gotten Sneakers and Pulp Fiction mixed together in my mind at some point.

SALT CURES HAM
Jan 4, 2011
So I watched part of this movie on FEARNet a very long while ago. All I remember was that it was found-footage and the first 15 minutes at least were a county sheriff's dash cam as he drove around and things slowly went to poo poo over the radio. I got sidetracked right as he actually ran into something interesting and never came back to it, so I'm not 100% sure, but I think it may have been zombies?

It was atmospheric as hell and actually pretty effective, and I say that as someone who usually isn't fond of found footage. Does anyone know what it might have been?

Aintain
Apr 6, 2007

Shit, really? They don't?! :,(
Trying to find one (or both) of two horror/torture movies.
Both were on Netflix at some point in the past 12months. I watched both on Netflix the same week last year but had been drinking heavily and don't remember enough to identify them after many attempts on Google.

One featured a group of young adults who had been summoned to a warehouse under the guise that they'd be part of a horror TV show of some kind. I remember there was a brother/sister duo, a white guy, possibly a black guy, etc. They discovered that it wasn't a TV horror show at all. The only vague memories I have are that one guy was shown a disturbing film on a projector, and that the brother/sister were attached to a torture device with (spinning blades?) something violently racing toward them and the kicker was that one of them HAD to die to stop the machine. That is all I remember.

The other was about a bunch of people who woke up in a warehourse/storehouse of some kind and it was your typical, "we don't know who to trust, it could be anybody in this room" plot, one guy was shackled to an unmovable item in the warehouse, they had to secure the key.. the ending had a bunch of cops and a dirty empty pit outside. There was some big twist too.

Thanks for any help.

Edit: Oh I THINK the brother/sister death machine involved a key attached, but you couldn't reach it without one of them dying, and you could lift the machine up which would send the blade toward the other person. Something like that.

Aintain fucked around with this message at 05:49 on May 31, 2014

ProfessorMurder
Aug 27, 2003

I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln

SALT CURES HAM posted:

So I watched part of this movie on FEARNet a very long while ago. All I remember was that it was found-footage and the first 15 minutes at least were a county sheriff's dash cam as he drove around and things slowly went to poo poo over the radio. I got sidetracked right as he actually ran into something interesting and never came back to it, so I'm not 100% sure, but I think it may have been zombies?

It was atmospheric as hell and actually pretty effective, and I say that as someone who usually isn't fond of found footage. Does anyone know what it might have been?

Sounds like Infection


Aintain posted:

The other was about a bunch of people who woke up in a warehourse/storehouse of some kind and it was your typical, "we don't know who to trust, it could be anybody in this room" plot, one guy was shackled to an unmovable item in the warehouse, they had to secure the key.. the ending had a bunch of cops and a dirty empty pit outside. There was some big twist too.

Maybe Unknown?

ProfessorMurder fucked around with this message at 06:34 on May 31, 2014

Final Call
Nov 15, 2005

Aintain posted:


One featured a group of young adults who had been summoned to a warehouse under the guise that they'd be part of a horror TV show of some kind. I remember there was a brother/sister duo, a white guy, possibly a black guy, etc. They discovered that it wasn't a TV horror show at all. The only vague memories I have are that one guy was shown a disturbing film on a projector, and that the brother/sister were attached to a torture device with (spinning blades?) something violently racing toward them and the kicker was that one of them HAD to die to stop the machine. That is all I remember.

Guessing it's "Are you scared", except it starts off with the group of young adults waking up in a warehouse.

Final Call fucked around with this message at 10:25 on May 31, 2014

Opopanax
Aug 8, 2007

I HEX YE!!!


SALT CURES HAM posted:

So I watched part of this movie on FEARNet a very long while ago. All I remember was that it was found-footage and the first 15 minutes at least were a county sheriff's dash cam as he drove around and things slowly went to poo poo over the radio. I got sidetracked right as he actually ran into something interesting and never came back to it, so I'm not 100% sure, but I think it may have been zombies?

It was atmospheric as hell and actually pretty effective, and I say that as someone who usually isn't fond of found footage. Does anyone know what it might have been?

The Bay?

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Alright, here's a difficult and maybe impossible one, if only because I have so few details:

Yesterday, I was visiting my brother and he started humming something and I recognized it as a song from a movie we'd watched when we were kids. This could have been over twenty years ago. It's distinctly possible this was some bizarre, straight to TV release or even part of a television show rather than a movie, to be honest; I'm not really sure. It could also be Canadian produced (my grandmother used to buy a ton of VHS tapes and spent half the year in Nova Scotia).

I am pretty sure that it was A) a cartoon and B) in color. I am not even positive about either of those. It was a musical, although the cast/voice actors were not particularly good at singing. At one point, a clown, who I think was the protagonist sang the following:

"I'm a clowwwwwwwwwwn.... but that's not funny..." It may also have been "I'm a clown but I'm not funny." I've tried ramming everything I can think of into Google and I keep coming up with Finding Nemo or that old Joe Pesci quote. It's probably some foolish local thing that I'll never solve, but I thought I'd ask, just in case.

Opopanax
Aug 8, 2007

I HEX YE!!!


If all else fails you could try http://www.midomi.com

MrGreenShirt
Mar 14, 2005

Hell of a book. It's about bunnies!

After plugging ["i'm a clown but i'm not funny" old children's cartoon musical] into Google I came across this site that makes me think its from either "Mouse Soup" or "Uncle Elephant." Either of those ring any bells?

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

MrGreenShirt posted:

After plugging ["i'm a clown but i'm not funny" old children's cartoon musical] into Google I came across this site that makes me think its from either "Mouse Soup" or "Uncle Elephant." Either of those ring any bells?

Yes, I think that's probably it! Thank you!

edit: looks like it's Uncle Elephant, specifically.

SALT CURES HAM
Jan 4, 2011

Yep, this is it. Thank you!

Aintain
Apr 6, 2007

Shit, really? They don't?! :,(

Yes that is the one! Thank you very much!

General Venereal posted:

Guessing it's "Are you scared", except it starts off with the group of young adults waking up in a warehouse.

This is also correct. I didn't think anyone would've found these for us so fast. Thank you guys very much!

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006



Years ago, as a kid, I saw some movie late at night on HBO that started out with a bunch of surfers floating in the ocean chitchatting about drug smuggling in over-the-top SoCal surfer slang. One line I specifically remember is a dude saying something along the lines of "You gotta book with the poo, brah! Book with the poo!"

I fell asleep during it but I remember kind of enjoying the part I saw, and I wouldn't mind seeing the rest. I think the movie was released sometime around 1990 (late 80s, very early 90s, sometime around then). It was not "Point Break".

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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tacodaemon posted:

Years ago, as a kid, I saw some movie late at night on HBO that started out with a bunch of surfers floating in the ocean chitchatting about drug smuggling in over-the-top SoCal surfer slang. One line I specifically remember is a dude saying something along the lines of "You gotta book with the poo, brah! Book with the poo!"

I fell asleep during it but I remember kind of enjoying the part I saw, and I wouldn't mind seeing the rest. I think the movie was released sometime around 1990 (late 80s, very early 90s, sometime around then). It was not "Point Break".

Maybe "North Shore"?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Saw a movie about a group of vampire hunters. One of them gets bit so he shoots his gun into the air and uses the hot barrel to cauterize the bite.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

John Carpenter's Vampires, I believe.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?

Bicyclops posted:

Alright, here's a difficult and maybe impossible one, if only because I have so few details:

Yesterday, I was visiting my brother and he started humming something and I recognized it as a song from a movie we'd watched when we were kids. This could have been over twenty years ago. It's distinctly possible this was some bizarre, straight to TV release or even part of a television show rather than a movie, to be honest; I'm not really sure. It could also be Canadian produced (my grandmother used to buy a ton of VHS tapes and spent half the year in Nova Scotia).

I am pretty sure that it was A) a cartoon and B) in color. I am not even positive about either of those. It was a musical, although the cast/voice actors were not particularly good at singing. At one point, a clown, who I think was the protagonist sang the following:

"I'm a clowwwwwwwwwwn.... but that's not funny..." It may also have been "I'm a clown but I'm not funny." I've tried ramming everything I can think of into Google and I keep coming up with Finding Nemo or that old Joe Pesci quote. It's probably some foolish local thing that I'll never solve, but I thought I'd ask, just in case.

Rock and Rule is the first thing that comes to mind, but the song doesnt seem to fit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kPP45npLaQ

Mind Loving Owl
Sep 5, 2012

The regeneration is failing! Hooooo...
This is a doozie. I used to watch this cartoon thing on a VHS at my grandmother's house when I was little. Can't remember much, I think it was about a kid (I'm picturing red hair, big glasses) living in some house in the middle of a jungle with a flightless, baby bird as a friend. And he was being stalked by some woman working for your standard white suited businessman, who if I remember right was looking for magic sparkly eggs. The thing I recall most clearly is a really trippy chase scene ending with Evil Business Guy getting stuck in a mirror and turning into a pig monster.

If it helps the tape also had an ad for the old GI Joe film, honestly as a kid I probably watched the thing mainly for that.

codyclarke
Jan 10, 2006

IDIOT SOUP

Mind Loving Owl posted:

This is a doozie. I used to watch this cartoon thing on a VHS at my grandmother's house when I was little. Can't remember much, I think it was about a kid (I'm picturing red hair, big glasses) living in some house in the middle of a jungle with a flightless, baby bird as a friend. And he was being stalked by some woman working for your standard white suited businessman, who if I remember right was looking for magic sparkly eggs. The thing I recall most clearly is a really trippy chase scene ending with Evil Business Guy getting stuck in a mirror and turning into a pig monster.

If it helps the tape also had an ad for the old GI Joe film, honestly as a kid I probably watched the thing mainly for that.

If it had an ad for the old GI Joe film, it might have been put out by JustForKids. I grabbed this promo off an old JustForKids VHS a couple years back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdbutqukpMw

I'd suggest seeing if you can find a list of the tapes they put out, and seeing if any of the titles are it.

Mind Loving Owl
Sep 5, 2012

The regeneration is failing! Hooooo...
Upon looking further this is what they used on the VHS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL1q9JPpNes....

COOOOBRAAAA

MrGreenShirt
Mar 14, 2005

Hell of a book. It's about bunnies!

Mind Loving Owl posted:

This is a doozie. I used to watch this cartoon thing on a VHS at my grandmother's house when I was little. Can't remember much, I think it was about a kid (I'm picturing red hair, big glasses) living in some house in the middle of a jungle with a flightless, baby bird as a friend. And he was being stalked by some woman working for your standard white suited businessman, who if I remember right was looking for magic sparkly eggs. The thing I recall most clearly is a really trippy chase scene ending with Evil Business Guy getting stuck in a mirror and turning into a pig monster.

If it helps the tape also had an ad for the old GI Joe film, honestly as a kid I probably watched the thing mainly for that.

David and the Magic Pearl?

Mind Loving Owl
Sep 5, 2012

The regeneration is failing! Hooooo...
That's it! Ugly looking film. How'd you figure it out?

MrGreenShirt
Mar 14, 2005

Hell of a book. It's about bunnies!

I just went through the Just For Kids Video imdb page and googled all the titles until I found the one that looked closest to your description.

My google-fu is strong.

Mind Loving Owl
Sep 5, 2012

The regeneration is failing! Hooooo...
Well that was a uniquely stupid google wander. Thanks Shirt.

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Looten Plunder
Jul 11, 2006
Grimey Drawer
Whats the name of the war movie, released in like the '90s that has a crazy sergeant guy that picks on another soldier and then that guy gets really messed up and blows his head off in the bathroom at the end of the movie?

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