Jozy's thread: He makes far post peels, near post crashes, runs down the gut alone,

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Jozy's thread: He makes far post peels, near post crashes, runs down the gut alone,

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DrWrestling69: Feb 4, 2008; Tracyanne...

Carrier posted:

Love thread, Hate Jozy

I don't hate jozy. He doesn't seem to be a bad lad. Just fat and bad at football.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:49

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 23:26

straight up brolic: Jan 31, 2007; After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

nnelli posted:

I believe it goes under 'Fouls'

interesting

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:49

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

SuperHunBastard1690 posted:

I don't hate jozy. He doesn't seem to be a bad lad. Just fat and bad at football.

He's a gutless fraud thief. I hate him.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:50

Suqit: Apr 25, 2005; Stars Stripes Freedom Jozy
(Jozy not pictured here)

Pissflaps posted:

He's a gutless fraud thief. I hate him.

He's a nice young man with a good head on his shoulders.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:51

DrWrestling69: Feb 4, 2008; Tracyanne...

Pissflaps posted:

He's a gutless fraud thief. I hate him.

Do you think the enjoyment you have got from this thread would allow you to forgive him?

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:51

DrWrestling69: Feb 4, 2008; Tracyanne...

Suqit posted:

He's a nice young man with a good head on his shoulders.

He is definitely checks list* athletic, humble, strong and good at hold up play.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:52

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

Suqit posted:

He's a nice young man with a good head on his shoulders.

He shies away from responsibility both on and off the pitch.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:52

advanced statsman: Dec 26, 2012; ISLAM FC

vyelkin posted:

Can you please quantify this into graph form for me?

code:

Name     ! Total ''fat" average!
-------------------------
Josmer        ! 100%                     
-------------------------
Falling down  !  Being poo poo     
-------------------------
69%           ! 14.88%          
-------------------------
Pies eaten                             
-------------------------
16.12%???                             
-------------------------

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:52

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

nnelli posted:

I believe it goes under 'Fouls'

Cool. Can you do this one next?

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:53

TimberJoe: Oct 24, 2010; aww yeah im on this burger and shit

Winner of the PWM POTM for March 2012

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:54

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

I suppose if you're getting paid to be some dipshit's publicist you may as well go on forums and argue.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:54

Skinty McEdger: Mar 9, 2008; I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

Is there any statistical analysis that could explain to me why he always falls over?

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:54

paddyboat: Feb 20, 2013; Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

whoa, nnelli

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:55

advanced statsman: Dec 26, 2012; ISLAM FC

vyelkin posted:

Cool. Can you do this one next?

I ran the numbers but I haven't weighed them accordingly so it's arbitrary

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:57

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

tetsman posted:

I ran the numbers but I haven't weighed them accordingly so it's arbitrary

Can you put this in a Football Manager diagram so that I can understand it?

Also before I saw your labels I assumed it would be "Pie Jozy has eaten" and "Pie Jozy has not eaten yet"

# ? Jun 2, 2014 19:58

chuggo is BACK: Jul 1, 2008; "Chuggo"

PWM POTM December 2014

Pissflaps posted:

He's a gutless fraud thief. I hate him.

Not sure you could call him gutless

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:02

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

80085 posted:

Well the posters in the Jozy thread have some like weird theory that bigsoccer posters are going to start randomly posting in the WC thread on the SA forums

nnelli posted:

Those original striker stats also were weighted based on the league scores from IFFHS. All stat categories were also weighed the same. Completely agree that goals are significantly more important than the other statistical categories. Just haven't had time to do the research to weigh each stat.

Additionally, when the league score is removed, Jozy doesn't exactly come out looking pretty...

http://nnelli.wordpress.com/2014/06/01/more-positional-comparisons/
(at bottom)

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:11

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

SuperHunBastard1690 posted:

I don't hate jozy. He doesn't seem to be a bad lad. Just fat and bad at football.

He's earning millions of pounds to do this the shite

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:18

quiet enjoyment: May 11, 2009

chuggo is BACK posted:

Not sure you could call him gutless

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:23

quiet enjoyment: May 11, 2009

Jose posted:

He's earning millions of pounds to do this the shite

Think you meant gaining millions of pounds :smugdog:

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:24

DrWrestling69: Feb 4, 2008; Tracyanne...

Jose posted:

He's earning millions of pounds to do this the shite

You would do exactly the same.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:27

Overminty: Mar 16, 2010; You may wonder what I am doing while reading your posts..

I love this thread I hope it never ends

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:28

Destroy My Sweater: Jul 24, 2009

# ? Jun 2, 2014 20:56

Hegay: Jun 29, 2012

So many stats I don't know what to believe. Can anyone graph the number of Premier League goals Jozy has scored and how many Premier League matches he has played? Sometimes it seems like the goal stat gets downplayed a bit.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:01

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

SuperHunBastard1690 posted:

You would do exactly the same.

And I expect people would hate me for it

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:04

tbp: Mar 1, 2008; DU WIRST NIEMALS ALLEINE MARSCHIEREN

HE CANT loving SCORE

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:06

advanced statsman: Dec 26, 2012; ISLAM FC

Hegay posted:

So many stats I don't know what to believe. Can anyone graph the number of Premier League goals Jozy has scored and how many Premier League matches he has played? Sometimes it seems like the goal stat gets downplayed a bit.

no you see, those stats are not important because they don't show how great jozy is at all of the other things

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:13

advanced statsman: Dec 26, 2012; ISLAM FC

which also makes me think, why don't stats morons push forward arguments for jozy being more suitable for a midfield role or whatever? they go to great lengths to show how his poo poo up play is great and his uppercut blowjob pass ratio is over 9000 but they don't even think of making the argument that maybe jozy should not be a loving forward, idgi

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:17

Weaponized Cum: Aug 31, 2004; This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->

tbp posted:

HE CANT loving SCORE

He should start a support group for some posters ITVF (In This Very Forum)

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:18

Edmund Honda: Sep 27, 2003

If the stats analysis is correct it means Jozy is the best striker in the USMNT.

Which is far funnier than reading about the over-analysed stats in the first place.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:27

The Finn: Aug 27, 2004; إنه أصلع في الأسفل، كما تعلم

Hegay posted:

So many stats I don't know what to believe. Can anyone graph the number of Premier League goals Jozy has scored and how many Premier League matches he has played? Sometimes it seems like the goal stat gets downplayed a bit.

He's scored 2 goals in like 65 Premier League matches, someone graph that pls

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:28

DrWrestling69: Feb 4, 2008; Tracyanne...

Jose posted:

And I expect people would hate me for it

I wouldn't hate you.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:28

tbp: Mar 1, 2008; DU WIRST NIEMALS ALLEINE MARSCHIEREN

Baldo di Gregorio posted:

He's scored 2 goals in like 65 Premier League matches, someone graph that pls

I made a chart.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:30

jazzyhattrick: Jul 1, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Are my stats good enough for bigsoccer?

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:30

DrWrestling69: Feb 4, 2008; Tracyanne...

jazzyhattrick posted:

Are my stats good enough for bigsoccer?

What is the DZ Sibot for that?

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:33

TimberJoe: Oct 24, 2010; aww yeah im on this burger and shit

Winner of the PWM POTM for March 2012

What's Jozy's batting average? How many wickets has he taken?

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:37

sonatinas: Apr 15, 2003; Seattle Karate Vs. L.A. Karate

I don't know how much longer ESPN can be positive regarding Jozy. Maybe at the 85th minute of the Germany game when he hasn't scored or shot on goal they will finally say Jozy is poo poo.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:39

Ponce de Le0n: Jul 6, 2008; Father jailed for beating 3 kids after they wouldn't say who farted in his car

jazzyhattrick posted:

Are my stats good enough for bigsoccer?

now just multiply goals by being american

and divide appearences by european racism and you will have a more accurate representation

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:39

advanced statsman: Dec 26, 2012; ISLAM FC

Now I understand why US fans like to compare jozy to other players "like him"

# ? Jun 2, 2014 21:43

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 23:26

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

Emile Heskey scored 20 goals over 70 appearances in his first two seasons in the Premier League.*

* not counting his very first season, when he made just one appearance when Leicester were relegated.

# ? Jun 2, 2014 22:01

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Jozy's thread: He makes far post peels, near post crashes, runs down the gut alone,

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