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Benny the Snake posted:I passed the GWT. As for the senior project, funny story. I can't remember whether it was the year I declared my major (which was the first) or if it was the year I switched my emphasis from education to lit based on a misunderstanding (long story). To make a long story short, one of those two years made me exempt from the senior project. So no, I don't have a senior thesis. Which was good because Lord knows what I would've done and how big of an embarrassment it would've been. Yea. Being on ssi means you are super inept I guess.
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Jun 3, 2014 04:35
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Benny got an email from his university saying he was expelled for being a terrible student and he takes it as "I graduated early, hooray!"
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Jun 3, 2014 04:44
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I don't pretend to know how the American college system works, but I am pretty sure that you can't just skip a pretty critical part of a degree because <reasons>. And please, please get rid of "I am proud to announce" from your cover letter if you haven't already. Like Rhonyn Peacemaker, I also barely read cover letters, but pushing everything I know about you to one side: if I got an application for an admin job from a recent graduate(?) and no work experience who was proudly announcing he was applying in the very first line of his cover letter, that person would be ruled out. Mostly for no relevant work experience, but also because that line tells me that you don't know what's appropriate to put in communications and will just add to the headache of trying to break a new graduate into a non-graduate role. Lastly, regarding the welfare/SSI debate: Benny, surely there's no reason why you couldn't apply for these benefits and continue looking for work. Your parents are currently footing the bill for your continued existence, and you being an unemployed lump means you're siphoning money which otherwise should probably be going into, oh I don't know, their retirement savings. If you can't hold down a job and may have mental conditions which are contributing to the situation, then apply and use whatever money you may be entitled to to help your parents meet household costs.
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Jun 3, 2014 04:44
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Going back to school for his masters degree makes a lot more sense if you replace masters degree with finish his degree.
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Jun 3, 2014 04:46
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I love how this thread gets convinced of something and then it just becomes the de facto truth, and Benny never bothers to dispel the rumor so it goes on for way too long.
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Jun 3, 2014 04:51
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When did you graduate? You might be stretching "recent" graduate considering at least one academic year must have passed by now.
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Jun 3, 2014 04:53
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crabrock posted:I love how this thread gets convinced of something and then it just becomes the de facto truth, and Benny never bothers to dispel the rumor so it goes on for way too long. I should have found a funnier rumor to echo/start -- the sex offender stuff was pretty funny. I'm still undecided about whether it's really plausible he's been lying this whole time about graduating, if only because saying "I have no degree" at the start would probably not get him a different reaction than "I have this degree that probably won't get me a job," while "I'm a dropout" and "I've been lying about having a degree" would probably earn him a lot of shame, and I feel like it's reasonably likely he would have known all that when he made the thread. Minding, of course, that he probably values the work he did in school far more highly than I do when I make these assumptions, and his judgment has occasionally been a little lacking.
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Jun 3, 2014 05:02
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yeah people with mental and physical health issues are just to darn inept to work, that's why they're on disability Seriously, you dumb poo poo, disability is for people who cannot function. You are loving terrible at functioning. Don't act like you're too good or too mature or too functional, because you sure as poo poo are not.
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Jun 3, 2014 05:14
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I'm pretty sure Benny graduated from college. It might be that I just want that to be true because one of the funnier parts of this thread was when Benny claimed to be over qualified for fast food and retail work because of his degree. Speaking of Benny thinking he's over qualified for things.. oval office raja posted:Seriously, you dumb poo poo, disability is for people who cannot function. You are loving terrible at functioning. Don't act like you're too good or too mature or too functional, because you sure as poo poo are not. Tamarillo posted:Lastly, regarding the welfare/SSI debate: Benny, surely there's no reason why you couldn't apply for these benefits and continue looking for work. Your parents are currently footing the bill for your continued existence, and you being an unemployed lump means you're siphoning money which otherwise should probably be going into, oh I don't know, their retirement savings. If you can't hold down a job and may have mental conditions which are contributing to the situation, then apply and use whatever money you may be entitled to to help your parents meet household costs. Benny you should read these posts. This is the situation you're in right now if you can't hold a job.
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Jun 3, 2014 06:05
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How bout instead of living off the gubbament teat, you fuckers that keep suggesting he do it pool some money and support him, seeing as you keep trying to convince him he shouldn't support himself.
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Jun 3, 2014 06:43
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Cyberball 2072 posted:How bout instead of living off the gubbament teat, you fuckers that keep suggesting he do it pool some money and support him, seeing as you keep trying to convince him he shouldn't support himself. I already do, they're called taxes.
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Jun 3, 2014 06:46
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Cyberball 2072 posted:How bout instead of living off the gubbament teat, you fuckers that keep suggesting he do it pool some money and support him, seeing as you keep trying to convince him he shouldn't support himself. Read every post from Benny in this thread. How do you suggest he support himself? Bardeh fucked around with this message at 07:03 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 06:59
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Cyberball 2072 posted:How bout instead of living off the gubbament teat, you fuckers that keep suggesting he do it pool some money and support him, seeing as you keep trying to convince him he shouldn't support himself. Public policy is about manipulating outcomes. For example, homeless people in central Florida cost about ~$30,000/head/year, mostly by way of law enforcement and medical costs. A comprehensive housing program would likely cut that to ~$10,000/head/year. Given their population, that's a difference of $100,000,000+ over the next ten years. Is keeping them off the "government teat" worth paying more than $100,000,000+ extra? And keep in mind that that's just central Florida. Without benefits, Benny will probably end up homeless. What's appropriate here? It's never [Spend the money!] versus [Don't spend the money!] because nothing ever happens in a vacuum.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:07
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Sorry, I forgot, laziness is totally a disability, my bad.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:14
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Cyberball 2072 posted:Sorry, I forgot, laziness is totally a disability, my bad. Yeah, labeling the mentally ill as just "lazy" has really helped this country with its mentally ill population. Jesus christ, he's been diagnosed as having psychotic depression, which because of his lovely decision making skills, has gone largely untreated. Over a year of goon advice, ridicule, and jeering has amounted to him volunteering at a library (which sounds like he even took a break from that when he was working). It's time to face the music that this kid is broken, and should be getting some financial assistance so that he doesn't end up just another homeless crazy person begging for change and story crits. During that time he can continue to look for jobs and work with his therapist to maybe get to a point where he can find a job and support himself. crabrock fucked around with this message at 07:25 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 07:23
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Cyberball 2072 posted:Sorry, I forgot, laziness is totally a disability, my bad. Even if it is, he'd just lazy his way into homelessness. How much extra are you willing to pay to give him the finger? poo poo, how much extra are you willing to have me pay?
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Jun 3, 2014 07:32
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edit: /\/\/\/\ No you see since he's lazy it's magically okay to write him off and never help him ever. Cyberball 2072 posted:Sorry, I forgot, laziness is totally a disability, my bad. This is beyond lazy. Is Benny lazy? Most definitely. But there's also something fundamentally flawed with either his brain or his thought patterns, or both. Also, I'm not certain that disability is the answer for Benny, only he can really know. I would think it's not the worst idea, because he'd be able to help his parents. As someone with multiple mental health issues that people often view as 'laziness' and 'being weak-willed' and other dumb poo poo, you are terrible and your opinions are terrible. Benny, is your mom still the only one working? This is part of the reason a lot of people are suggesting assistance. Your mother is trying to support a household of four people. This is difficult to do, especially since, as someone who is/was going back to school, she's probably not making a whole hell of a lot.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:34
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Cyberball 2072 posted:Sorry, I forgot, laziness is totally a disability, my bad. He's not just lazy. He's Benny. I don't think you've read this thread all the way through. Crabrock above me is correct. What else are we supposed to do with Benny? Shoot him? e: I don't know anything about disability benefits. It might NOT be the best thing for Benny but I don't see how someone can read this story and not think he's got some issues going on beyond being lazy. It's clear to all of us except Benny that his social and cognitive functioning is delayed. Greg Legg fucked around with this message at 07:40 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 07:34
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Seriously, the choices are A. Help him fix himself, or at least minimize him getting more broken, or B. Let him continue to get more and more broken. The more broken, the more effort, time, and resources it's gonna take on other people's parts to help him get less broken.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:37
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I hate you Benny, I had to do mandatory internship 13 months while psychically limited and on painkillers almost 24/7. And you didn't even have to do a grad project.  That said, please just find a job in retail somewhere down the line. I could manage a cash register while tripping balls from painkillers there is no reason you can't if you apply yourself and stop trying to "be smart".
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Jun 3, 2014 07:44
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Benny, post a scan of your diploma with your name blurred out.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:50
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About that, it's a long, funny story. Long story short, no.
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Jun 3, 2014 08:02
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Haha Benny didn't even graduate from college.
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Jun 3, 2014 08:04
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To go back to the cover letter for a moment, it'sBenny the Snake's cover letter posted:I look forward to becoming a member of your corporate team. that gets me. Why are you writing as if you've been offered, and accepted, the position you are only just applying for, Benny? 
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Jun 3, 2014 08:11
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franco posted:To go back to the cover letter for a moment, it's He's showing forward thinking and being confident.
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Jun 3, 2014 09:20
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Arch Stanton posted:Benny, post a scan of your diploma with your name blurred out. Please do this, if you can do this you should gain support. Snap a photo of it and ms paint out your name. Lets see this poo poo.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:24
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Cyberball 2072 posted:Sorry, I forgot, laziness is totally a disability, my bad. Benny is lazy. Benny is also extremely unintelligent. I would wager he's below average IQ (not that that's a perfect measure of brain function, but it's convenient). In addition to that, he may have legitimate brain function problems. I mean, what else can he do? He is below functionality for minimum wage jobs. He can't bootstrap his way out of an 80 IQ.
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Jun 3, 2014 15:12
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It's also possible that none of us have a clue whether Benny is disabled or not because we're random nerds who paid tenbux to jeer at him on the internet.
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Jun 3, 2014 15:28
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Strategic Tea posted:It's also possible that none of us have a clue whether Benny is disabled or not because we're random nerds who paid tenbux to jeer at him on the internet. It's probably even more likely that he doesn't actually have a degree.
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Jun 3, 2014 16:31
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So Benny pretty much definitely does not have a degree, that much is established
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Jun 3, 2014 16:51
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Benny the Snake posted:I passed the GWT. As for the senior project, funny story. I can't remember whether it was the year I declared my major (which was the first) or if it was the year I switched my emphasis from education to lit based on a misunderstanding (long story). To make a long story short, one of those two years made me exempt from the senior project. So no, I don't have a senior thesis. Which was good because Lord knows what I would've done and how big of an embarrassment it would've been. I googled "GWT" because I had no idea what it stood for. "Google Web Tooklit" came up, so I tried "GWT writing" which returned the name of the college you "graduated" from. Seriously, Benny... Do you have a physical, on-paper bachelor's degree with your name on it? Do you have an associate's degree? A certificate? Because "GWT" is very specific to your school and in no way an actual, standardized thing that every English/Literature student needs, in order to graduate. What was the "misunderstanding?" Seriously, what was it? We have time and it sounds important. I'm getting the impression that it's so long, you did a combination of blocking, replacing and hand-picking information from the story which translated the ending from "you'll get to walk with your class, but you'll need to do X,Y and Z in order to receive your diploma." to "It's fine, you're exempt from the senior thesis." I'm serious, Benny. What happened?
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Jun 3, 2014 17:39
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Benny the Snake posted:I was caught by surprise when I found out in January that the university graduated me automatically. Ordinarily I'd have to apply two quarters in advance. Benny the Snake posted:I'm just as confused. I tried to apply for graduation online and I couldn't do it there. So my advisor called the department and told me to go to the Registar's office. Once I got there, I was told that the department had graduated me. And a month later, I have my diploma. I'm not asking questions. This is still my personal favorite Benny moment, although it seems to have been overshadowed by all the other craziness in the past year.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:40
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VelveetaAvenger posted:This is still my personal favorite Benny moment, although it seems to have been overshadowed by all the other craziness in the past year. He's a writer, lying comes easily, Holmes.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:42
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Benny has a Ph.D in psychology and we're all going to appear in a paper about gullible idiots on the internet sometime in the next year or so.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:42
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docbeard posted:Benny has a Ph.D in psychology and we're all going to appear in a paper about gullible idiots on the internet sometime in the next year or so. A smart person could not possibly play this dumb
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Jun 3, 2014 17:43
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Or, you know how Odin would sometimes disguise himself as a common down-on-his-luck fellow and put people to the test about their generosity?
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Jun 3, 2014 17:44
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I'm sorry, I totally forgot about those quotes from a few posts up. Forgive me, it's been a little over a year. So you do have a diploma? I wasn't on board with the sex offender rumor, but this one... Weeeellllll... Can you just scan it with your personal info blacked out, so we can be sure? Sorry, it's just that "I graduated and I didn't even know it" isn't all that believable. Are you sure this "diploma" you speak of isn't actually something else they sent you? Like a financial aid statement, or invitation to that year's graduation or something? \/ In all honesty, the "internet detective" cards are all on the table. Black it out for the sake of blacking it out, but everyone who has wanted to internet detective Benny has already done so and the rest of us don't give a poo poo. That flood gate has long been open. cname fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 17:45
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Also don't use the blur tool or something in PS if you do, that can be reversed. just put a box over stuff in paint or something.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:53
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docbeard posted:Or, you know how Odin would sometimes disguise himself as a common down-on-his-luck fellow and put people to the test about their generosity? I've also read the one about Zeus manifesting as a swan with a diaper fetish.
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Jun 3, 2014 18:03
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Serious question: could this be some kind of paperwork error? Like, the administration accidentally graduated Benny when they weren't supposed to? It would fit the "I went to apply but they said I was graduated already."
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Jun 3, 2014 18:14
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