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Rick Rickshaw posted:Hmm....you sure? My cell phone and Internet companies show as revolving creditors on my credit report. My cell (VZW) and internet (CenturyLink) do not appear on my credit report.
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Jun 4, 2014 03:27
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Jastiger posted:I'm like..well yeah, but this will impact our credit and we wanted to buy a house. I think you have to go at least 30 days overdue before it will hit your credit report. I certainly never had any of the half a dozen or so late payments I made show up on my credit reports.
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Jun 4, 2014 03:34
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Rick Rickshaw posted:Hmm....you sure? My cell phone and Internet companies show as revolving creditors on my credit report. My cell (under contract), internet, utilities, none of them show up on my annual credit report. I even forgot to pay the electric bill and was disconnected and that didn't appear.
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Jun 4, 2014 03:46
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Jastiger posted:I'm going to see how she handles the next paycheck with my big ole commission on it and act from there. We don't, but she dose have a budget tracker thing. I just got so mad when I brought up the late fee and she's like "its not a big deal. Rent is more important than some stupid late fee" and I'm like..well yeah, but this will impact our credit and we wanted to buy a house. Just make the stupid payment > If there's one thing we've seen from your numerous E/N threads, it's that the two of you are terrible communicators. And if I remember correctly, you were out of work yourself for some time. Have you actually talked about your mutual expectations for finances? That's a lot more healthy than letting this resentment fester silently.
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Jun 4, 2014 04:08
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I also see some Target purchases on there. I intentionally do not get anything to eat or drink at work, and I see her getting little drinks or snacks (which would otherwise be completely reasonable) yet I go without.
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in_cahoots posted:If there's one thing we've seen from your numerous E/N threads, it's that the two of you are terrible communicators. And if I remember correctly, you were out of work yourself for some time. Have you actually talked about your mutual expectations for finances? That's a lot more healthy than letting this resentment fester silently. Oh totally we talk about it all the time. I just took a look at the finances and became frustrated about the money situation. Its not all her fault, but it doesn't help when we're late on CC bills when we rely on them for gas and food in between pay checks. I think we'll have it under control. I'm doing well in my job (top 10 in the entire call center woot woot!), its just a matter of gettin dat cash in hand.
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Jun 4, 2014 04:11
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^^^ What is there to talk about all the time if there isn't a budget that you both agree on in place?Jastiger posted:I'm going to see how she handles the next paycheck with my big ole commission on it and act from there. We don't, but she dose have a budget tracker thing. I just got so mad when I brought up the late fee and she's like "its not a big deal. Rent is more important than some stupid late fee" and I'm like..well yeah, but this will impact our credit and we wanted to buy a house. Just make the stupid payment > Creating a budget that your wife is on board with would probably help a lot. Giving each of you a spending budget (even if it has to be small) will help make sure that you don't become resentful when you see her buying small things, and will give her at least a little bit to spend without feeling like you're breathing over her shoulder. It would also give you both a clear perspective on where you need to be to cut costs, or try to increase your income. I suspect that you'll find out you have so little breathing room that cutting all your discretionary spending won't make any difference, especially compared to her finding a small part time source of income. As an aside I've seen your posts before--it's probably impossible with your current income but I really think if you can afford it at some point, you should consider couples counseling, it really doesn't seem like you communicate very well.
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Jun 4, 2014 04:17
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Rick Rickshaw posted:Hmm....you sure? My cell phone and Internet companies show as revolving creditors on my credit report. Yes. They will report you as delinquent if you gently caress up and pay late or stiff them, but they do not generally report as trade lines when you're paying as agreed. From: http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/DrDon/20070320_credit_score_report_a1.asp Rod Griffin, the senior manager of public education at Experian posted:Utility companies, cellular telephone service providers and cable television providers do not typically report information to the credit reporting companies. In fact, some states prohibit utility providers from reporting account payment information.
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Jun 4, 2014 04:55
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Jastiger posted:I'm going to see how she handles the next paycheck with my big ole commission on it and act from there. We don't, but she dose have a budget tracker thing. I just got so mad when I brought up the late fee and she's like "its not a big deal. Rent is more important than some stupid late fee" and I'm like..well yeah, but this will impact our credit and we wanted to buy a house. Just make the stupid payment > I really think you should do the 'budget committee' thing. Sit down on the 1st of the month, or better, the weekend prior to the first (or last Saturday, for June 2014, and June 28-29th for July 2014) and plan it out together. It won't take more than an hour or so, and its a really good experience. Check out Mint so you can see historicals. Stay on it. Don't burden her with it all just because she is a stay at home wife/mom. Good luck, man! Wickerman posted:My cell (VZW) and internet (CenturyLink) do not appear on my credit report.
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Jun 4, 2014 06:00
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LLCoolJD posted:Not to deny the truth of your post about the value of a credit card, but a credit card isn't do-or-die. I had a good credit rating when I got my mortgage, and I've never used a credit card. (I did have a stable income, some savings, plus I had been paying utilities and significant ($800/month) student loans for years without late payments.). Its just of all the things you can do, getting a credit card and paying it off is one of the easiest ways to generate a positive credit report. There is more to why my friend didn't have much of a credit report, plus his own bad with money story.
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Jun 4, 2014 06:10
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SlapActionJackson posted:Yes. They will report you as delinquent if you gently caress up and pay late or stiff them, but they do not generally report as trade lines when you're paying as agreed. This is one of the things I dislike about the travel credit card I have for work - it doesn't help my credit at all since it's a work card, but the bills are in my name so my understanding is that if it doesn't get paid it can hurt my credit. Not that it's that likely as travel vouchers have been consistently paid quickly, and I have more in my emergency fund than the limit of the card, but I don't like that one sidedness.
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Jun 4, 2014 13:16
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Jastiger posted:I intentionally do not get anything to eat or drink at work, and I see her getting little drinks or snacks (which would otherwise be completely reasonable) yet I go without. By "anything" do you mean no lunch at work? Because loving up your eating habits to save a couple bucks a day on food is pretty bad with money.
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Jun 4, 2014 14:26
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Dangit Ronpaul posted:By "anything" do you mean no lunch at work? Because loving up your eating habits to save a couple bucks a day on food is pretty bad with money. I eat lunch at work. I do cut back on quay I eat though to save bucks. I could stand to lose a few pounds though lol. Is mint free?
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Jun 4, 2014 14:56
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Jastiger posted:I'm going to see how she handles the next paycheck with my big ole commission on it and act from there. Do you see this sentence? This is a terrible, terrible way to go about a relationship. You know you have issues, why are you leaving a trap in the open and then waiting until your partner steps in it? Get in front of this poo poo first. Sit down and have the discussion that you badly need to have. Try to do it in a neutral setting with no blame games or finger pointing. You're both in this together, so each of you needs to contribute equally to your success. Nocheez fucked around with this message at 15:06 on Jun 4, 2014 |
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Jun 4, 2014 15:02
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Jastiger posted:I eat lunch at work. I do cut back on quay I eat though to save bucks. I could stand to lose a few pounds though lol. Yep, it's run by Intuit (TurboTax folks) so you don't need to feel as insecure about logging into all of your financial accounts through it. You might need to reclassify some expenses, but otherwise I think it's worth trying out.
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Jun 4, 2014 15:05
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SiGmA_X posted:I feel your pain. I'm not married, and don't have combined budgets, but I see my gf hemorrhage money... You and your wife need to sit down and get on the same page. I'm not sure if you're at all religious, but Financial Peace University may be really good to do with her. I thought it was useful for me to DIY (you can find the old ebooks on ~the internet~) while my gf and her mom took it in person. Finances bring pain that isn't needed, and getting on the same page is required. This guy is a self-described militant athiest who alienated his former community by making GBS threads on the local's beliefs in the community newspaper, likely limiting his career opportunities in that city. He can't afford to pay both rent and credit card on time, yet he wants to buy a house? What?? Jastigar is as bad with money as any of the folks we talk about here. I fully support the Dave Ramsey philosophy and listen every day, even if I don't believe in the religion angle. Avoiding debt, taking ownership of your life and decisions, and giving back to the world generously is a solid foundation for living. But I have zero faith that Jastigar could listen to him with an open mind to just take what ideas he wants while leaving the rest behind.
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Jun 4, 2014 16:15
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Switchback posted:This guy is a self-described militant athiest who alienated his former community by making GBS threads on the local's beliefs in the community newspaper, likely limiting his career opportunities in that city. Switchback posted:I fully support the Dave Ramsey philosophy and listen every day, even if I don't believe in the religion angle. Avoiding debt, taking ownership of your life and decisions, and giving back to the world generously is a solid foundation for living.
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Jun 5, 2014 01:50
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oh redditquote:Been married a few years, and I knew she had some problems in the past with some overdue bills here and there that hosed up her credit (got her to eventually pay them off with a tax return of hers). I thought, well, maybe I can help her fix this and she will get better. Nope. We have separate bank accounts (although we have a joint account to pay our joint bills) and she gives me money towards our joint bills every check. Well, she goes to the hospital often for things she doesn't really need to go for, and just won't ever pay the bills she gets in the mail from them. Before she had insurance she went a couple times and we have gotten a few bills and she will just leave them sitting on the table for weeks and weeks without even opening them (some of them are only like $25). She says every time I ask her to pay them or make payments on them it just makes her not want to do it even more. Every time she gets paid, she will give me the money for our bills, save just a little bit for groceries and gas, and just blow the rest within a few days. She saves $0. Sometimes she won't have any for groceries and expects me to pay for them and said I shouldn't have a problem paying for it all because we are married and we should help each other out. A lot of times she asks me for gas money as well. She said that a counselor told her that her blowing money like she does it probably part of her mood disorder and she does it to make herself happy. Anytime we wanna go on a vacation, or anything like that, I will have to pay for it because she can't save money. I know this is something that can greatly affect our, and my future, especially when it comes to something like retirement. Every time I try to talk to her about money, she just has the "I know, I know" type attitude. I want to help her with this, and do what I can, so please don't suggest divorce as an option. Any advice and thoughts greatly appreciated.
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Jun 5, 2014 02:09
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That's not "bad with money" so much as "bad with mental health". That woman needs serious therapy, that couple needs counseling. The guy probably needs therapy too.
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Jun 5, 2014 02:14
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Switchback posted:This guy is a self-described militant athiest who alienated his former community by making GBS threads on the local's beliefs in the community newspaper, likely limiting his career opportunities in that city. Ehh, being active in local politics isn't the same thing as making GBS threads on a community, but it absolutely had a negative aspect in that particular situation. A lot of what Ramsay says makes a lot of sense and I agree. Most of the debt we have is my wifes, not mine unfortunately but you take it on when you marry someone. It's just a matter of getting enough income so we aren't treading water. It's why I was so frustrated to hear the blase attitude she had about it. I don't want to "set a trap" for her at all though, as one poster mentioned. We talked about it, I get paid next week and I expect it to be taken care of. I trust her to do that. If it's not, then I'll have to have that talk. I will say, and this applies to a lot of cases, it's hard to tell a spouse no on certain expenses. Can Jastiger put another $20 on stram? Obviously not video games aren't a priority so I don't. Can wife go see mom and grandma with daughter three hours away (probably $70 in gas and trip expense)...that's a lot harder to say no to.
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Jun 5, 2014 06:02
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Jastiger posted:I will say, and this applies to a lot of cases, it's hard to tell a spouse no on certain expenses. Can Jastiger put another $20 on stram? Obviously not video games aren't a priority so I don't. Can wife go see mom and grandma with daughter three hours away (probably $70 in gas and trip expense)...that's a lot harder to say no to. This is why you have separate discretionary funds. If you each get $50 or $100 a month to spend as you like, you don't have to justify individual expenses. The only problem that would arise is if your wife thinks seeing family should qualify as a household expense rather than an individual one. And if you can't agree on that, you have bigger problems (hint: you have bigger problems).
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Jun 5, 2014 07:59
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One should not post when one is mad about things. Retracted. Do I want to get probated for backseat modding or something? I didn't even post content! Edit 2: vv Eh, I figured people had already seen it and it shows how much of a dick I was. Weatherman fucked around with this message at 13:00 on Jun 5, 2014 |
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Jun 5, 2014 11:49
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Weatherman posted:One should not post when one is mad about things. Retracted. Do I want to get probated for backseat modding or something? I didn't even post content! Rather than striking out the offensive remarks, you should remove them. I feel like I'm bad with money lately. I live 500 miles from my rather large family. They live in the same town I grew up in, but it's only a 7 hour trip to come visit. When they do it's a vacation for them, but it's my normal time. I end up going out to eat, golfing, and doing more touristy things when they are around. It sucks because I try to plan for it, and it's not right to pay for it out of my family vacation budget. I just end up spending my fun money and not being able to save for bigger things. 
Nocheez fucked around with this message at 12:51 on Jun 5, 2014 |
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Jun 5, 2014 12:48
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^^^ Disagree, editing out posts is for chumps
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Jun 5, 2014 14:47
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Nocheez posted:Rather than striking out the offensive remarks, you should remove them. Enjoy your time with family while you can, you can always buy things later.
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Jun 5, 2014 16:02
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dreesemonkey posted:Enjoy your time with family while you can, you can always buy things later. I know this, and accept it. My dad was diagnosed with stage IV-C cancer a month ago, and I'm definitely understanding that there's more to life than good financial decisions.
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Jun 5, 2014 16:17
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Nocheez posted:I know this, and accept it. My dad was diagnosed with stage IV-C cancer a month ago, and I'm definitely understanding that there's more to life than good financial decisions. Totally agree. My entire family (three older brothers, younger sister, two sisters-in-law and four nephews, plus all cousins and stuff) live in my old hometown, while I'm a 10 hour drive away. When they come visit me, I usually cover as much as I can, including part of the airfare and meals/drinks/activities. I also have to save up for my own ticket home every so often. I basically have a budget item for family time, and everything comes from that. Sorry to hear about your dad
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Jun 5, 2014 16:32
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in_cahoots posted:This is why you have separate discretionary funds. If you each get $50 or $100 a month to spend as you like, you don't have to justify individual expenses. The only problem that would arise is if your wife thinks seeing family should qualify as a household expense rather than an individual one. And if you can't agree on that, you have bigger problems (hint: you have bigger problems).
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Jun 5, 2014 16:38
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waffle posted:This. Jastiger you need a budget and it needs to be one you make with your wife, not one where you tell her how much she can spend after the fact. I think I would agree you are bad with money because you guys are spending money in a way that is begging for resentment (judging every single purchase) I spend no money. My budget is $0. I was getting $20 a week for incidental lunch purchases but I've stopped doing that a few weeks ago to save money. I'm not the one who dictates who spends what, she is the one in charge of finances. The only allowances any of us get are from her. What made me bothered with the purchases is that we can't pay credit card bills, I drink water and eat stale popcorn at work when they have it to save money, and yet she sometimes gets little fun stuff for our daughter to play with or for her to eat/drink. I really wouldn't care, I don't mind tightening the belt and letting her have fun money, but I do care when I find bills going late or unpaid. I'd LOVE to have $100 extra money a month discretionary but I refuse until we're caught up on bills.
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Jun 5, 2014 17:44
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Jastiger posted:I spend no money. My budget is $0. I was getting $20 a week for incidental lunch purchases but I've stopped doing that a few weeks ago to save money. I'm not the one who dictates who spends what, she is the one in charge of finances. The only allowances any of us get are from her. Then put an end to this. Handle the finances together.
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Jun 5, 2014 17:51
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Jastiger posted:I spend no money. My budget is $0. I was getting $20 a week for incidental lunch purchases but I've stopped doing that a few weeks ago to save money. I'm not the one who dictates who spends what, she is the one in charge of finances. The only allowances any of us get are from her. Not spending anything at all and doing your own thing is fine if you can do it without resenting your wife when she does something different but you very obviously can't. You might say you only care when bills go unpaid or whatever but you're obviously keeping a mental tally of when she buys things for herself/your child, and then mentally using that against her when bills do go unpaid or late. waffle fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Jun 5, 2014 |
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Jun 5, 2014 17:59
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waffle posted:This is not an organized effort, this is you self-flagellating and getting angry when your wife doesn't do the same. You need shared priorities and shared recognition of your budget issues if you want to actually get anywhere with your debt. That is fair. We are going to sit down today and go over everything. Its rough because she sees any of me peeking in as a questioning of her authority. "I hate it when you ask about the finances because then you fret and worry about money. Don't worry about it, I got it. If you want to keep checking in then YOU handle all the money and I'll be done with it" And no, I keep no tally. I'm only mentioning the purchases she did because I DID happen to look into it and found them there. I would never have known about them otherwise.
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Jun 5, 2014 18:24
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Jastiger posted:"I hate it when you ask about the finances because then you fret and worry about money. Don't worry about it, I got it. If you want to keep checking in then YOU handle all the money and I'll be done with it"
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Jun 5, 2014 18:30
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Yeah, see, I don't have to do anything to actually keep our finances in order. But my wife likes it when I put line items into the budget, check on the budget, and check our joint accounts every so often. How is it an all or nothing for her? *Do* you fret and worry and complain every single time you look in on finances? Maybe the problem is on both of you?
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Jun 5, 2014 18:30
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I'm not sure how you come off in real life, but an all-or-nothing statement is still pretty childish even if you did come off as snide.
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Jun 5, 2014 18:51
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Jastiger posted:I eat lunch at work. I do cut back on quay I eat though to save bucks. I could stand to lose a few pounds though lol. Jastiger posted:I drink water and eat stale popcorn at work when they have it to save money
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Jun 5, 2014 18:55
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i like nice words
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Wickerman posted:I'm not sure how you come off in real life, but an all-or-nothing statement is still pretty childish even if you did come off as snide.
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Jun 5, 2014 18:56
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silvergoose posted:Yeah, see, I don't have to do anything to actually keep our finances in order. But my wife likes it when I put line items into the budget, check on the budget, and check our joint accounts every so often. I fret and worry if bills aren't paid! Not every single time no. I do get frustrated that we're merely treading water. Before I was putting money into savings and getting a college and house fund set up and things were OK. Now we're late on CC bills, going pay check to pay check, and getting absolutely no saving done. So finances in general are something that bothers me and makes me pretty grouchy at times. I look at other people our age working jobs in our area and doing OK, while I kick rear end at work and get nothing to show for it.
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Jun 5, 2014 18:57
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It almost sounds as if you two aren't on the same page and are feeling resentment towards each other. You would benefit from some counseling and open lines of communication. Lots of "money problems" are really relationship problems that need addressed first. Sit down and figure out your short term and long term goals are. Figure out how to achieve both, and then hold each other accountable. That doesn't mean you scream at each other, you just make sure you both are staying on the same page.
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Jun 5, 2014 19:01
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Jastiger posted:That is fair. We are going to sit down today and go over everything. Its rough because she sees any of me peeking in as a questioning of her authority. OK so if every time you look at finances you fret and find out about purchases you don't like, why exactly are you hesitant to question her authority? Why does she still have authority?
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Jun 5, 2014 19:02
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Wickerman posted:I'm not sure how you come off in real life, but an all-or-nothing statement is still pretty childish even if you did come off as snide. What started it was that we got new phones as a cost saving measure to cut back on our expenses and I said "Oh! I'll download the BoA app!" and she's like "What do you need THAT for?" like I was downloading it just to spite her or something.
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Jun 5, 2014 19:03
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