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At times, when I read this thread, I find the thought drifting across my mind. "What would this kid do if he was given the get out ultimatum from his parents?"
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Jun 6, 2014 17:40
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almightyerin posted:At times, when I read this thread, I find the thought drifting across my mind. "What would this kid do if he was given the get out ultimatum from his parents?" Watch porn in the living room and then threaten to sue them.
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Jun 6, 2014 17:45
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Benny could get a job as the guy who loads/unloads bags at the airport. There are extremely low expectations with that job. One time my bag came back full of holes and covered with italian salad dressing, but at least it wasn't lost.
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Jun 6, 2014 17:49
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Arian_Samurai posted:Benny could get a job as the guy who loads/unloads bags at the airport. There are extremely low expectations with that job. I was going to say the problem would be the security clearance. Then again I'm pretty sure they'll let anyone work for the TSA.
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Jun 6, 2014 17:51
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Robot_Rumpus posted:In this case, why not? Cover up the name with a piece of paper. After what Rhonyn Peacemaker posted earlier about graduation requirements I think most people realize there is a zero percent chance Benny actually graduated. It's kind of funny how committed to the lie he is though. If I hadn't seen both of Benny's dating profiles (Benny don't use the same picture on your 'vanilla' profile as your mommy fetish profile) I would believe this thread was written by a fairly stupid 12 year old.
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Jun 6, 2014 17:56
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Another job: frontline IT helpdesk tech Look to George for inspiration: http://www.chroniclesofgeorge.com/
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Jun 6, 2014 17:58
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I'm worried this medicare application is just another example of classic "I'll do it tomorrow" Benny. He knows that he needs to but he's too lazy and scared to actually do it. Yes, scared. The thought of attempting something (anything) that he could fail is paralyzing. So he saw that there was a thirty day wait period and went ahead and posted that he's applied. He's planning on applying tomorrow. He'll feel like doing it tomorrow. He won't be tired or have a headache or be upset because he was just yelled at by his mother tomorrow. But tomorrow has come and gone been. And the tomorrow after that, too. It's been days and that 30 day deadline is creeping closer and closer and oh god I should just ignore i it I'm panicking I'm just gonna ignore the thread. The deadline will pass and instead of coming clean he'll try and cover it up with another lie. "Goons I forgot to attach something they needed" and everyone will freak out over how Benny can't follow basic instructions but in reality he never even applied.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:08
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Tyrannosaurus posted:I'm worried this medicare application is just another example of classic "I'll do it tomorrow" Benny. He knows that he needs to but he's too lazy and scared to actually do it. Yes, scared. The thought of attempting something (anything) that he could fail is paralyzing. That's why I asked a bunch of questions about the application process. Fairly certain it is and will be this.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:20
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almightyerin posted:At times, when I read this thread, I find the thought drifting across my mind. "What would this kid do if he was given the get out ultimatum from his parents?" Get really interested in tenancy laws and tell them they had to give him 30 or 60 or whatever days notice and hope it blows over by then.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:23
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Starter Wiggin posted:HEY BENNY, HOW ABOUT AMERICORPS/JOBCORPS? This isn't that hard to reply to.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:29
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almightyerin posted:At times, when I read this thread, I find the thought drifting across my mind. "What would this kid do if he was given the get out ultimatum from his parents?" This is one of those unanswerable Benny questions. Much like asking him about the insurance process, how his job search is going, what the hell he spends all day doing, or if he really graduated from college or not. Benny will write essays full of spelling errors on important topics like his writing and his plan to turn his 4 hour a week volunteering job into a paid position. He'll also write long posts to make excuses as to why he was fired after claiming to take full responsibility for his mistakes. We want Benny to answer the important questions, but Benny just wants to talk about dumb poo poo to avoid the issue and that's probably why he doesn't post as much anymore. Which is sad, because this was a funny thread. TO BE TOTALLY FAIR, if I were asked to post my diploma I wouldn't be able to because I have no idea where I put it.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:32
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Queen Elizatits posted:After what Rhonyn Peacemaker posted earlier about graduation requirements I think most people realize there is a zero percent chance Benny actually graduated. It's kind of funny how committed to the lie he is though. It's weird how ALL IN he is on this particular lie. BENNY, JUST ADMIT THE LIE. Look, we aren't asking you to do any hard work. You don't have to fill out a form or make up a lie about insurance or try and make up stories about how your work day is going at your imaginary job that you got fired from 2 weeks ago. Just admit you never graduated. quote:TO BE TOTALLY FAIR, if I were asked to post my diploma I wouldn't be able to because I have no idea where I put it. And now he doesn't even need to come up with an excuse, you provided him with one.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:33
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I was going to post in here saying that people should probably quit with all the "post your diploma, you don't have one" stuff (if it were me, I probably wouldn't post it if I had the stupid diploma or not). From everything he's told me, he has it, and I've sort-of-defended Benny here in the past. But then I thought about how when I asked Benny, in confidence, if the diaper fetish thing were true, and he just said "of course not". I took his word for it, and saw no reason for him to lie about it to me since he has told me far, FAR worse stuff in the past. But it seems like from what people are saying, some folks here have actually seen hard evidence of this. Goons, I don't know what to believe anymore. My Bennyverse has been shaken to its very foundation. What else is he lying to me about? The other day he approached me on AIM. "I have a farming question," he said. I am not a farmer, but Benny is convinced that I am. "What does defoliant smell like?" There is a lot wrong with that question and I'm sure I don't have to spell it out for you. "I don't know, Benny, since I'm not a farmer, which you already know," I said, baffled. He SAID it was for a story he was writing. The point is, I think we should all keep an eye on the news, because Benny is planning a large-scale Agent Orange attack.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:45
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Benny, don't take my loving excuse, you rear end in a top hat.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:45
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Aqua Bear posted:Benny, don't take my loving excuse, you rear end in a top hat. It's too late, he already lost it. It's weird that you have the same excuse but whatever, it's gone and he can't find it now (or a job).
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Jun 6, 2014 18:47
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Arian_Samurai posted:Benny could get a job as the guy who loads/unloads bags at the airport. There are extremely low expectations with that job. Are you serious? You know how much lifting is involved in baggage handling?  Also, those jobs are actually in high demand because they pay (or used to) very well.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:51
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Benny I want to buy your books. What books do you have? Any good ones? What is your Stephen king selection? Kurt Vonnegut?
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Jun 6, 2014 18:52
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Magnus Gallant posted:Benny I want to buy your books. What books do you have? Any good ones? You think he honestly knows the inventory?
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Jun 6, 2014 18:54
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Benny can't even sell trash library books right, Magnus is in the thread begging for books and Benny is busy talking about reasons he won't have an answer about his dumbass insurance for another 30 days
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Jun 6, 2014 20:04
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JakeP posted:Benny is busy talking about reasons he won't have an answer about his dumbass insurance for another 30 days I like to think its because he didn't actually apply and now has 30 days to do something about it (if he acts at all it will likely be on day 29.)
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Jun 6, 2014 20:10
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Can you get a degree in adult baby?
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Jun 6, 2014 20:13
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Shadowgate posted:Can you get a degree in adult baby? [Insert joke at grad school/law school field's expense here] Also, we're not trying to get him to throw away his comics. We want him to *sell* them.
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Jun 6, 2014 20:38
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4th Asclepiadean posted:Also, we're not trying to get him to throw away his comics. We want him to *sell* them. Unless he has some really rare and highly sought-after poo poo, his comics are worth whatever a recycling center might pay him for the paper. A few longboxes might get him five, ten bucks if he's lucky. lexan fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Jun 6, 2014 |
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Jun 6, 2014 21:15
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My parents did apply us before the Obamacare deadline. The idea was we would share the costs together as a family and since I didn't, and still, don't have a job, sharing costs sounded like a good idea to me.
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Jun 6, 2014 21:15
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Starter Wiggin posted:HEY BENNY, HOW ABOUT AMERICORPS/JOBCORPS? Seriously, Benny. Here, I'll do the hard work for you. Click this loving link. Not interested in Community Outreach? Then do a search of your own, gently caress. I don't care. At least look at those links. There's a poo poo-ton of positions accepting applications right now. edit: i don't know why i expect anything from a kid who can't even be hosed participating in a TD brawl. man. benny can't even roll with the punches because he bruises like an overripe peach. gently caress this. A Tin Of Beans fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Jun 6, 2014 |
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Jun 6, 2014 21:16
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I did AmeriCorps after college and 2 people in my group got fired, and I considered them generally competent people who just made an unfortunate mistake. Plus we had to work like 50-60 hour weeks sometimes, dunno how Benny would handle that when he couldn't even work 25 without scheduling a dentist appt. during them.
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Jun 6, 2014 21:18
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crabrock posted:I did AmeriCorps after college and 2 people in my group got fired, and I considered them generally competent people who just made an unfortunate mistake. Plus we had to work like 50-60 hour weeks sometimes, dunno how Benny would handle that when he couldn't even work 25 without scheduling a dentist appt. during them. Don't give him more excuses. I don't know, even if his application's rejected or he gets fired again, at least he'll have tried? gently caress. I don't know. I'm getting mad about Benny the Snake. Benny ... Benny never changes.
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Jun 6, 2014 21:22
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Quite isn't edit. Also, Benny, why not do the Americorps thing? What do you have to lose?
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Jun 6, 2014 21:24
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A Tin Of Beans posted:Don't give him more excuses. I don't know, even if his application's rejected or he gets fired again, at least he'll have tried? I think this is more of a "let's face reality" - if he can't hold down a part time job selling poo poo on ebay what chance does he have of succeeding at something difficult?
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Jun 6, 2014 21:26
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crabrock posted:I did AmeriCorps after college and 2 people in my group got fired, and I considered them generally competent people who just made an unfortunate mistake. Plus we had to work like 50-60 hour weeks sometimes, dunno how Benny would handle that when he couldn't even work 25 without scheduling a dentist appt. during them. There's this, yeah. But there are shorter stints and opportunities that have different skill sets and just I don't know I just want him to try. Benny, I was a gently caress up for years. I was floating, retail dead end to another. Living with my parents, depressed as all hell. But I actually tried by applying to AmeriCorps and now I don't live with my parents, I'm a lot less of a gently caress up, and I have a job that I would have to try very hard to lose. I have money for school loans or to go back to school. I earned a Congressional medal. I've seen some wild poo poo that I never thought I would be able to see. And my résumé kicks yours' rear end, I guarantee. And do you know why? BECAUSE I loving TRIED. JUST TRY FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE. TRY. PLEASE. Go to the link above, go to americorps.gov, go to serve.gov, just do it jesus gently caress. It's free. You work 4 hours a week. You have the time. (Feel free to ask questions about the program, I will espouse its virtues and be honest about the flaws, just anything to get you to either try or give me one good loving reason not to.)
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Jun 6, 2014 21:40
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Benny the Snake posted:My parents did apply us before the Obamacare deadline. The idea was we would share the costs together as a family and since I didn't, and still, don't have a job, sharing costs sounded like a good idea to me. What now? What happens next?
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Jun 6, 2014 21:41
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Starter Wiggin posted:...or give me one good loving reason not to.) Well, he's doing this whole selling used books thing...
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Jun 6, 2014 22:07
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I just put it together: he can't apply for Americorps because most of their postings require a degree and he didn't actually graduate college. Duh.
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Jun 6, 2014 22:44
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Queen Elizatits posted:
Wait minute. Couldn't that easily mean that someone doxxed him, saved the photo, and made another account with it that's the diaper fetish one? I mean, I'm sure he's dumb enough to use the same photo, but that also means it could easily be a fake account.
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Jun 6, 2014 23:43
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Benny what's older, this thread or the age you like to role play
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Jun 7, 2014 00:20
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Uncle Salty posted:The thing is, they get better because they make mistakes, and are corrected, and then eventually form new routines. But this takes more than three weeks on the job. Part of my goals for them in these entry level positions are to help them build very basic workplace skills, because how else are you going to learn to do something like "check your voicemail every day, don't let the messages pile up". (Insert 10,000 goons telling me "What, nah, you stupid bitch, I never check my work messages if it's important they'll email me eventually.") You're a pretty nice boss. In the future I only want to hire folks that are 30+ so I don't have to put up with that poo poo. Sadly, that won't happen but I can dream. oval office raja posted:THERAPY!!
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Jun 7, 2014 00:23
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Araenna posted:Wait minute. Couldn't that easily mean that someone doxxed him, saved the photo, and made another account with it that's the diaper fetish one? I mean, I'm sure he's dumb enough to use the same photo, but that also means it could easily be a fake account. Benny has his own ED page at this point, for christs sake. The truth is easier than a lie, as someone said just a few posts ago. You just can't fake up his awful spelling and wordage errors.
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Jun 7, 2014 01:15
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lexan posted:Quite isn't edit. His copious amounts of free time. Benny does not actually want to work hard for anything. He's a lazy sack of poo poo that has been ruined by his family and is now so far down the hole that he's content with never being anything other than a stay at home unemployed loser.
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Jun 7, 2014 01:29
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lexan posted:I just put it together: he can't apply for Americorps because most of their postings require a degree and he didn't actually graduate college. Duh. Nope. I refuse to give him an out. Benny, I have not got a degree. NCCC does not require a degree. Even the TL position. The other postings, unless it says required, don't, and even then, if you're an amazing fit, they can waive it.
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Jun 7, 2014 01:38
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Benny, books!! Books! Give me books! Sell them to me.
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Jun 7, 2014 02:14
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