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THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
CBJ loving cratered this year huh? After a long playoff run the year prior too

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Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

Aurora posted:

god loving damnit nashville :argh:

What DOES the Dallas lineup look like?

I can't see lines since the season is over, but here are the top 7 forwards and 5 Dmen. Also goalies.

RW - Guibeau (96 OVR)
C -- Seguin (91 OVR)
C -- Glennie (85 OVR)
C -- Faksa (85 OVR)
C -- Eakin (84 OVR)
RW - Ritchie (83 OVR)
RW - Chiasson (83 OVR)

Steidl (98 OVR)
Klyington (88 OVR)
Forbort (86 OVR)
Oleksiak (85 OVR)
Dillon (85 OVR)

G - Campbell (84 OVR)
G - Kraft (83 OVR)
(the goalies split time during the season)

Drunk Canuck
Jan 9, 2010

Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

Hockles posted:


Playoff Results

TOR def PIT in 5
TOR def FLA in 5

TOR def WSH in 5

TOR def LAK in 7


NHL Awards
Stanley Cup Champions
Toronto Maple Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP)
Martijn van der Veen -- Toronto Maple Leafs

Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender)
Martijn van der Veen -- Toronto Maple Leafs


Comments
Toronto wins their second Cup since 2014.
van der Veen gets his 2nd consecutive Vezina

I did it... I finally got my due. :qq: Life is beautiful

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 2000
Why cant I win just 1 cup?

sba
Jul 9, 2001

bae
:toot: GO LEAFS GO

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

2028 Offseason News

Notable Retired Players
Phil Kessel
Milan Lucic
Sam Gagner
Steven Stamkos
Drew Doughty
John Tavares
Ryan O'Reilly
Michael Del Zotto
Kevin Shattenkirk
Nick Leddy
Slava Voynov
Jamie Benn
Cody Hodgson
Matt Calvert
Cody Eakin
Andrei Loktionov
Brayden Schenn
Justin Faulk
Tomas Tatar
Jared Spurgeon
Jared Cowen
Casey Cizikas
Antoine Roussel
Jakob Silfverberg
David Rundblad
Danny Kristo
Dmitry Orlov
Keaton Ellerby
Riley Sheahan
Sami Vatanen
Justin Falk
Petr Straka
Carter Ashton
Max Domi
Robin Lehner
Igor Bobkov
Calvin Pickard


Transaction News
BUF -- re-signed P. Borkiwicz to a $68.2mil/6yr contract
BUF -- re-signed P. O'Bourke to a $73.7mil/7yr contract
CBJ -- re-signed E. Windros to a $59.3mil/5yr contract
NJD -- re-signed C. Conway to a $81.3mil/7yr contract
PHX -- re-signed C. Ripken Jr to a $62mil/6yr contract
PIT -- re-signed B. McLargeHuge to a $72.5mil/7yr contract
TBL -- re-signed H. Satonaka to $66.1mil/6yr contract
TOR -- re-signed sba to a $57.2mil/5yr contract


Top 10 Forward Salaries
  1. Igor Latypov -- $15.660mil
  2. Borka Borkason -- $15.290mil
  3. Alex Guibeau -- $15.110mil
  4. Theo McFlurry -- $14.620mil
  5. Alex Jones -- $14.445mil
  6. Moses White -- $14.390mil
  7. Fernando Vando -- $14.345mil
  8. Aleksandr Luzhin -- $14.145mil
  9. Hockles -- $14.085mil
  10. Andrew Kilza -- $14.050mil

Top 5 Defensemen Salaries
  1. Aurora Steidl -- $12.360mil
  2. Sasha Smashnikov -- $10.965mil
  3. Bjorn Lundgren -- $10.910mil
  4. Potatoes O'Bourke -- $10.530mil
  5. That Guyclint -- $10.365mil
  6. Brian Urlacher -- $10.010mil

Top 5 Goalie Salaries
  1. Martijn van der Veen -- $10.420mil
  2. Big McLargeHuge -- $10.350mil
  3. Cal Ripken Jr -- $10.340mil
  4. Dek Paynuss -- $10.090mil
  5. Quincey Pepperdick -- $9.810mil


2028-29 Opening Night Info
ANA -- F. Cow (93 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
BOS -- B. Skill (96 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Asst Captain
BUF -- P. Borkiwicz (96 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Asst Captain
BUF -- Potatoes (95 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
CGY -- F. Vando (95 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
CGY -- G. Stahl (99 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
CAR -- S. Athanatos (97 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
CHI -- O. Hat (93 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Asst Captain
COL -- S. McStabson (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
COL -- I. Chiggers (96 OVR) -- 2nd Line Right Wing -- Asst Captain
COL -- He Hate Me (96 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain
COL -- D. Paynuss (95 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
CBJ -- E. Windros (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
CBJ -- B. Urlacher (95 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Captain
DAL -- A. Guibeau (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing
DAL -- A. Steidl (99 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Asst Captain
EDM -- Spamtron (97 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
FLA -- A. Kilza (99 OVR) -- Starting Center
FLA -- A. Luzhin (98 OVR) -- 2nd Line Center -- Asst Captain
FLA -- T. Guyclint (94 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
LAK -- A. Banks (97 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
LAK -- R. Hextall Jr (90 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
MIN -- Hockles (97 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Captain
MIN -- H. Roboy (95 OVR) -- 2nd Line Center -- Asst Captain
MIN -- P.P. Poutine (95 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Asst Captain
MTL -- R. Fantastic (96 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Captain
NSH -- D. Bergkamp (96 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
NJD -- C. Conway (96 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
NJD -- J. O'Rourke (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
NJD -- T. Vittunen (95 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing
PHX -- E. Rutkowski (94 OVR) -- 2nd Line Left Wing -- Asst Captain
PHX -- M. White (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Captain
PHX -- C. Ripken Jr (94 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
PIT -- H. Wang (90 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
PIT -- B. Borkason (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain
PIT -- B. McLargeHuge (97 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
SJS -- T. McFlurry (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Asst Captain
STL -- S. Smashnikov (96 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
TBL -- H. Satonaka (96 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
TBL -- Q. Pepperdick (99 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
TOR -- B. Buckaroo (96 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Captain
TOR -- sba (94 OVR) -- 2nd Line Center -- Asst Captain
TOR -- M. van der Veen (98 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
VAN -- F. Bar (95 OVR) -- 2nd Line Center -- Asst Captain
VAN -- C. Buttworth (95 OVR) -- Starting Center
WSH -- A. Jones (98 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
WSH -- R. Dangler (96 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Asst Captain
WSH -- B. Lundgren (98 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Captain
WPG -- L. Lazaruk (92 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Asst Captain
WPG -- T. Palin (93 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender


Comments
White becomes captain, and Rutkowski get's an A
Wang and Satonaka also get an A

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Hockles posted:

Wang and Satonaka also get an A

@BigWang66 - 1min ago
all teh azns gettin in the A boiiiii @halusato9 #easternstyleAsses

@BigWang66 - 2mins ago
wait poo poo i meant got the A on me

@BigWang66 - 3mins ago
finally got it in the A!!! @borka80 #Ass_captain #cominforyourCnextBorka

fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain
gently caress off already Reinhart! This is my team! :argh:

Aurora
Jan 7, 2008

My OVR went up? :stare:

Stickarts
Dec 21, 2003

literally

uhoh. Kilza won out starting center. There goes 25 points.

Also another trophy. Making a late career run at the hof.


How does this game determine when you retire? At a specific age, or when you reach a certain OV?

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

Stickarts posted:

How does this game determine when you retire? At a specific age, or when you reach a certain OV?

Pretty much in the upper 30s. No consistency, though. Sometimes players hang on for an extra year or two in one save and not another.

checksin
Nov 23, 2006

I joined the new sensation, the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

:chillout:

he knows...
Time for another disappointing year for the Jets :(

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

December 2028 Update

Notable Stats
Hockles leads the league in Points; Jones is 4th; Bar & Borkason are 5th
Borkason leads the league in Goals; Buckaroo is 2nd; Skill is 3rd; Luzhin is 4th; Vittunen is 6th
Hockles leads the league in Assists; Jones is 2nd; O'Rourke is 3rd; Bar is 7th
Poutine leads all Defensemen in Points; Spamtron is 2nd; Guyclint & Steidl are 4th
Guyclint leads the league in +/-; Hockles is 2nd; Luzhin & Satonaka are 5th; Poutine is 7th
Potatoes is 2nd in PIM; Urlacher is 3rd; Windros is 4th
Lazaruk is 7th in Hits; Urlacher is 8th
Palin is 2nd in GAA; Athanatos is 3rd; Ripken Jr is 5th; van der Veen is 8th
Palin is 2nd in SV%; Athanatos is 3rd; van der Veen is 5th; Ripken Jr is 6th; Pepperdick is 7th
Athanatos, Bergkamp, & van der Veen are 2nd in Wins; McLargeHuge & Pepperdick are 5th


Transaction News
None


Injury Report
STL -- S. Smashnikov is out with a Fractured Ankle. Expected return is 12/10/28
WSH -- R. Dangler is out with a Pulled Groin. Expected return is 12/10/28


Comments
Hockles started out the year nicely and has a hefty lead over 2nd place


http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2014 for Complete Stats

Stiev Awt
Mar 20, 2007


JawKnee posted:

@BigWang66 - 1min ago
all teh azns gettin in the A boiiiii @halusato9 #easternstyleAsses


@halusato9

@Bigwang66 Drouin wants an S for "Senpai" lol ドルアン、単語は船長

Drouin, the word is sencho.

Anders
Nov 8, 2004

I'd rather score...

... but I'll grind it good for you

JawKnee posted:


@BigWang66 - 3mins ago
finally got it in the A!!! @borka80 #Ass_captain #cominforyourCnextBorka

@Borka80 - 5s
@BigWang66 GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS #DontTouchAnotherMansC

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
Chap Buttworth - never poo poo, never amazing, consistently average/above average. At least wins a cup in Vancouver. The life. :getin:

lonelywurm
Aug 10, 2009
@HockeyMansORourke
@Vittuman10 @conway96 great start to a great year, boys! combined 81 points in 21 games #TopLineBros

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

All-Star Break 2029

All-Stars
West -- He Hate Me (Starting Left Wing)
West -- Hockles (Starting Center)
West -- Theo McFlurry (Starting Right Wing)
West -- Moses White (2nd Line Left Wing)
West -- Chap Buttworth (2nd Line Center)
West -- Alex Guibeau (2nd Line Right Wing)
West -- Spamtron (Starting D-Pairing)
West -- Aurora Steidl (Starting D-Pairing)
West -- Pierre-Paul Poutine (2nd D-Pairing)
West -- Cal Ripken Jr (Starting Goaltender)
East -- Alex Jones (Starting Left Wing)
East -- Badabing Buckaroo (Starting Center)
East -- Borka Borkason (Starting Right Wing)
East -- Teemu Vittunen (2nd Line Left Wing)
East -- Ricky Fantastic (2nd Line Center)
East -- Buggy Skill (2nd Line Right Wing)
East -- Punchki Borkiwicz (3rd Line Right Wing)
East -- Bjorn Lundgren (Starting D-Pairing)
East -- That Guyclint (Starting D-Pairing)
East -- Soup Athanatos (Starting Goaltender)


Notable Stats
Jones leads the league in Points; Hockles is 3rd; White is 4th; Skill is 6th; Borkason is 7th; Dangler is 8th
Skill leads the league in Goals; Buckaroo is 2nd; Borkason is 4th; He Hate Me is 5th; Jones is 7th
Hockles leads the league in Assists; Jones is 2nd; Satonaka is 4th; White is 6th; Dangler is 7th
Guyclint, Lundgren, & Poutine are 6th in Points among Defensemen.
Satonaka is 2nd in +/-; Jones is 4th; Hockles is 5th; Lundgren is 6th; Guyclint is 7th; Bar is 8th
Potatoes leads the league in PIM; Urlacher is 2nd; Windros is 4th
Urlacher is 7th in Hits
Athanatos & Pepperdick are 2nd in GAA; Ripken Jr is 5th; van der Veen is 6th; Bergkamp is 8th
Athanatos is 2nd in SV%; Pepperdick is 3rd; van der Veen is 4th; Ripken Jr is 7th; Paynuss is 8th
Ripken Jr leads the league in Wins; McLargeHuge is 2nd; Pepperdick is 4th; Bergkamp & van der Veen are 7th


Transaction News
None


Injury Report
NJD -- C. Conway is out with a Herniated Disc. Expected return is 4/22/29
TOR -- sba is out with a Pulled Groin. Expected return is 2/10/29


Comments
Potatoes is on pace to challege Urlacher's single season PIM record.
Jones caught and passed Hockles in points.
Borkiwicz is an all-star!



http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2014 for Complete Stats

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

2029 All-Star Game

pre:
      1  2  3
West  3  2  1 - 6
East  1  0  2 - 3


 West                      East
   6        Goals            3
  27     Total Shots        45
  19         Hits           15
17:49   Time On Attack    21:27
  58       Faceoffs         35
  22         PIM            10
 0/0      Powerplays       1/6
Scoring Summary
1st Period
4:41 -- (East) R. Fantastic (T. Guyclint)
4:47 -- (West) Hockles (T. McFlurry)
7:54 -- (West) T. Rattie (J. Virtanen)
13:49 - (West) I. Latypov (B. Gormley, V. Zykov)

2nd Period
9:03 -- (West) Spamtron (A. Guibeau, C. Buttworth)
15:07 - (West) T. McFlurry (Hockles, He Hate Me)

3rd Period
5:03 -- (East) B. Skill (R. Fantastic, A. Jones)
8:37 -- (East) B. Borkason (A. Jones, T. Guyclint)
12:08 - (West) He Hate Me (T. McFlurry)


Penalty Summary
1st Period
2:40 -- (East) B. Gormley -- Holding (Minor)

2nd Period
3:23 -- (East) B. Borkason -- Fighting (Major)
3:23 -- (East) A. Guibeau -- Fighting (Major)
4:16 -- (West) C. Buttworth -- Roughing (Minor)
4:46 -- (West) P. Poutine -- Elbowing (Minor)

3rd Period
0:23 -- (West) M. White -- Fighting (Major)
0:23 -- (East) B. Borkason -- Fighting (Major)
4:55 -- (West) G. Landeskog -- Tripping (Minor)
9:32 -- (West) Spamtron -- Holding (Minor)
12:28 - (West) Spamtron -- Holding Stick (Minor)


3 Stars of the Game
1) (West) Theo McFlurry (1 goal, 2 assists, +3)
2) (West) He Hate Me (1 goal, 1 assist, +3)
3) (West) Hockles (1 goal, 1 assist, +2)






Comments
Borkason fights the reigning Lady Byng winner :psyduck:

Faggot Guy
Aug 29, 2011

TWO TIME SUPERBOWL MVP
@MosesRosesWhite71: Movin on up.

Furnaceface
Oct 21, 2004




11 All-Star games, 6 points, all of them when on a line with Hockles. If only he wasnt trapped in hell SJ. :(

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

Wow. I'm doing awful this season. Hopefully I can catch on fire and put up a poo poo ton of points after the All-Star break.

Pleads
Jun 9, 2005

pew pew pew


fits posted:

gently caress off already Reinhart! This is my team! :argh:

This forever.

Also woo finally an ASG appearance after gettin paid. Attaboy Punchi.

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

Trade Deadline 2029

Notable Stats
Jones leads the league in Points; Hockles is 2nd; White is 4th; Skill is 5th; Buckaroo is 6th; Dangler is 8th
Skill leads the league in Goals; Buckaroo is 3rd; Borkason is 4th; White is 5th; He Hate Me & Jones are 7th
Hockles leads the league in Assists; Jones is 2nd; Satonaka is 4th; Rutkowski is 5th; White is 6th; Dangler is 7th
Steidl leads all Defensemen in Points; Lundgren is 2nd; Guyclint is 5th; Poutine is 8th
Hockles & Satonaka are 2nd in +/-; Lundgren is 6th; Jones is 7th
Potatoes leads the league in PIM; Urlacher is 2nd; Windros is 5th
Lazaruk is 8th in Hits
Ripken Jr is 3rd in GAA; Pepperdick is 4th; van der Veen is 6th; McLargeHuge is 7th; Palin is 8th
Pepperdick is 3rd in SV%; van der Veen is 4th; Athanatos is 6th; Ripken Jr is 7th
Ripken Jr leads the league in Wins; Pepperdick is 2nd; van der Veen is 3rd; McLargeHuge & Paynuss are 6th


Transaction News
None


Injury Report
NJD -- C. Conway is out with a Herniated Disc. Expected return is 4/22/29


Comments
Phoenix is back on top of the league.
Jones holds his lead over Hockles.
Potatoes' PIM pace slows.



http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2014 for Complete Stats

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

End of Regular Season 2028-29

Notable Stats
Hockles lead the league in Points; Jones is 3rd; Skill is 4th; White is 5th; Buckaroo is 6th; Satonaka is 7th
Skill lead the league in Goals; Buckaroo is 3rd; Borkason is 4th; He Hate Me is 5th; Vittunen is 6th; White is 7th; Jones is 8th
Hockles lead the league in Assists; Jones is 3rd; Satonaka is 4th; Rutkowski is 7th; White is 8th
Steidl lead all Defensemen in Points; Poutine is 4th; Guyclint is 6th
Hockles lead the league in +/-; Satonaka is 3rd; Poutine is 5th;
Potatoes lead the league in PIM; Urlacher is 2nd; Windros is 5th; Borkason is 6th
McLargeHuge lead the league in GAA; Pepperdick is 2nd; Ripken Jr is 3rd; van der Veen is 5th; Palin is 6th; Paynuss is 7th; Athanatos is 8th
Pepperdick lead the league in SV%; McLargeHuge is 2nd; van der Veen is 3rd; Ripken Jr is 5th; Paynuss is 6th; Athanatos is 7th; Palin is 8th
Ripken Jr lead the league in Wins; Pepperdick is 2nd; van der Veen is 3rd; McLargeHuge is 4th; Athanatos & Bergkamp are 6th


Transaction News
None


Injury Report
EDM -- Spamtron is out with a Separated Shoulder. Expected return is 6/16/29
NJD -- C. Conway is out with a Herniated Disc. Expected return is 4/22/29
WSH -- B. Lundgren is recovering from Elbow Surgery. Expected return is 5/10/29


Comments
It seems as Washington's 3 stars all got hurt down the homestretch
Hockles will win the Art Ross, and probably sweep the Skater Awards
Steidl should win the Norris
van der Veen will win the Jennings
Vezina Finalists: McLargeHuge, Pepperdick, & Ripken Jr





http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2014 for Complete Stats

Furnaceface
Oct 21, 2004




SJ made the playoffs? 2 years in a row?? Be still my heart!

Gonna get swept in the first round again!

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

What the gently caress happened to Columbus

Potatoes didn't even get within 100 of my record :smug:

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

End of 2028-29 Season Update

Playoff Results
CGY def PHX in 6
SJS def VAN in 6
MIN def WPG in 7
NSH def DAL in 5

TOR def MTL in 5
BOS def TBL in 5
FLA def WSH in 4
CAR def PIT in 5

SJS def CGY in 7
MIN def NSH in 7

BOS def TOR in 5
CAR def FLA in 7

MIN def SJS in 5
BOS def CAR in 5

MIN def BOS in 5

Notable Stats
Roboy lead the league in Points; Skill is 2nd; Hockles is 3rd; McFlurry is 6th


http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2014 for Complete Stats


NHL Awards
Stanley Cup Champions
Minnesota Wild

Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record)
Phoenix Coyotes

Clarence S. Campbell Bowl (Western Conference Champion)
Minnesota Wild

Prince of Wales Trophy (Eastern Conference Champion)
Boston Bruins

Art Ross Trophy (Most Points)
Hockles -- Minnesota Wild

Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP)
Hockles -- Minnesota Wild

James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman)
Pierre-Paul Poutine -- Minnesota Wild

Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct)
Hockles -- Minnesota Wild

Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year)
Jacques Fleury -- Edmonton Oilers

Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP)
Hocket Roboy -- Minnesota Wild

Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender)
Quincey Pepperdick -- Tampa Bay Lightning

William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against)
Martijn van der Veen -- Toronto Maple Leafs

Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey)
Duncan Siemens -- Colorado Avalanche

Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward)
Andrew Kilza -- Florida Panthers

Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA)
Hockles -- Minnesota Wild

Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals)
Buggy Skill -- Boston Bruins


Upcoming Free Agents
ANA -- F. Cow
COL -- He Hate Me
COL -- S. McStabson
DAL -- A. Guibeau
EDM -- Spamtron
FLA -- A. Kilza
FLA -- A. Luzhin
MIN -- Hockles
MIN -- P. Poutine
MTL -- R. Fantastic
NSH -- D. Bergkamp
NJD -- J. O'Rourke
PHX -- E. Rutkowski
PHX -- M. White
PIT -- B. Borkason
STL -- S. Smashnikov
TOR -- M. van der Veen
WSH -- A. Jones
WPG -- L. Lazaruk
WPG -- T. Palin


Comments
Minnesota wins their 2nd cup, exactly 10 years after their first.
Roboy gets the Conn Smythe
Hockles sweeps skater awards
Poutine's giant +/- wins him the Norris
Pepperdick adds another Vezina to his collection
Kilza gets his first Selke
A lot of huge potential free agents. Let's see if any team declines to sign theirs.

Anders
Nov 8, 2004

I'd rather score...

... but I'll grind it good for you
@Borka80 s

Don't gently caress up (again) Wang. I want a cup this time.

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Anders posted:

@Borka80 s

Don't gently caress up (again) Wang. I want a cup this time.

lol

e:

@BigWang66
@Borka80 tweeting during teh game #wtf #priorities

JawKnee fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Jun 8, 2014

Aurora
Jan 7, 2008

Hockles posted:

Poutine's giant +/- wins him the Norris

:shepface:

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

2029 Offseason News

Notable Retired Players
Jonathan Toews
Tyler Seguin
Jordan Eberle
Nazem Kadri
Taylor Hall
Mattias Tedenby
Reilly Smith
Derek Stepan
Evander Kane
Tyler Ennis
Kyle Turris
Scott Glennie
Marcus Johansson
Mikkel Boedker
Victor Hedman
Brett Connolly
Dougie Hamilton
Ryan Ellis
Andrew Shaw
Brandon Gormley
Sean Couturier
Marcus Foligno
Tim Erixon
Brandon Saad
Luke Schenn
Oliver Ekman-Larsson
Luca Sbisa
Emerson Etem
Kyle Palmieri
Kyle Clifford
Roman Horak
Vladislav Namestnikov
Nino Niderreiter
Matt Nieto
Martin Marincin
Christian Thomas
Jamie Oleksiak
Olli Maatta
Jacob Markstrom
Magnus Hellberg
Petr Mrazek
Matt Mahalak


Transaction News
ANA -- re-signed F. Cow to a $30.3mil/3yr contract
COL -- re-signed He Hate Me to a $11.6mil/1yr contract
COL -- re-signed S. McStabson to a $12.6mil/1yr contract
DAL -- re-signed A. Guibeau to a $12.4mil/1yr contract
EDM -- re-signed Spamtron to a $36.1mil/3yr contract
FLA -- re-signed A. Kilza to a $12.5mil/1yr contract
FLA -- re-signed A. Luzhin to a $12.7mil/1yr contract
MIN -- re-signed P. Poutine to a $31.7mil/3yr contract
MTL -- re-signed R. Fantastic to a $12.4mil/1yr contract
NSH -- re-signed D. Bergkamp to a $30.7mil/3yr contract
NJD -- re-signed J. O'Rourke to a $11.8mil/1yr contract
PHX -- re-signed E. Rutkowski to a $11.9mil/1yr contract
PHX -- re-signed M. White to a $11.8mil/1yr contract
PIT -- re-signed B. Borkason to a $12mil/1yr contract
STL -- re-signed S. Smashnikov to a $33.8mil/3yr contract
TOR -- re-signed M. van der Veen to a $33.3mil/3yr contract
WSH -- re-signed A. Jones to a $13.1mil/1yr contract
WPG -- re-signed L. Lazaruk to a $31.2mil/3yr contract
WPG -- re-signed T. Palin to a $29.7mil/3yr contract

BUF -- signed UFA Hockles to a $18.2mil/1yr contract

Top 10 Forward Salaries
  1. Hockles -- $18.165mil
  2. Theo McFlurry -- $14.620mil
  3. Fernando Vando -- $14.345mil
  4. Gunnar Stahl -- $13.930mil
  5. Rod Dangler -- $13.830mil
  6. Igor Latypov -- $13.795mil
  7. Badabing Buckaroo -- $13.435mil
  8. Buggy Skill -- $13.165mil
  9. Alex Jones -- $13.140mil
  10. Nathan MacKinnon -- $12.810mil

Top 5 Defensemen Salaries
  1. Aurora Steidl -- $12.360mil
  2. Spamtron -- $12.045mil
  3. Sasha Smashnikov -- $11.250mil
  4. Bjorn Lundgren -- $10.910mil
  5. Pierre-Paul Poutine -- $10.565mil

Top 5 Goalie Salaries
  1. Martijn van der Veen -- $11.100mil
  2. Big McLargeHuge -- $10.350mil
  3. Cal Ripken Jr -- $10.340mil
  4. Dennis Bergkamp -- $10.220mil
  5. Dek Paynuss -- $10.090mil


2028-29 Opening Night Info
ANA -- F. Cow (93 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
BOS -- B. Skill (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain
BUF -- Hockles (98 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
BUF -- P. Borkiwicz (96 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain
BUF -- Potatoes (94 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
CGY -- F. Vando (95 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
CGY -- G. Stahl (98 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Captain
CAR -- S. Athanatos (97 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
CHI -- O. Hat (93 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Captain
COL -- S. McStabson (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
COL -- I. Chiggers (96 OVR) -- 2nd Line Right Wing -- Asst Captain
COL -- He Hate Me (96 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain
COL -- D. Paynuss (95 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
CBJ -- E. Windros (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
CBJ -- B. Urlacher (94 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Captain
DAL -- A. Guibeau (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Asst Captain
DAL -- A. Steidl (98 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Captain
EDM -- Spamtron (97 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Asst Captain
FLA -- A. Kilza (98 OVR) -- Starting Center
FLA -- A. Luzhin (98 OVR) -- 2nd Line Center -- Asst Captain
FLA -- T. Guyclint (94 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
LAK -- A. Banks (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
LAK -- R. Hextall Jr (88 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
MIN -- H. Roboy (95 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Captain
MIN -- P.P. Poutine (95 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Asst Captain
MTL -- R. Fantastic (94 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Captain
NSH -- D. Bergkamp (96 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
NJD -- C. Conway (94 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
NJD -- J. O'Rourke (96 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
NJD -- T. Vittunen (95 OVR) -- 2nd Line Left Wing
PHX -- E. Rutkowski (94 OVR) -- 2nd Line Left Wing -- Asst Captain
PHX -- M. White (97 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Captain
PHX -- C. Ripken Jr (94 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
PIT -- H. Wang (90 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
PIT -- B. Borkason (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain
PIT -- B. McLargeHuge (96 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
SJS -- T. McFlurry (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Asst Captain
STL -- S. Smashnikov (95 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
TBL -- H. Satonaka (96 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
TBL -- Q. Pepperdick (99 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
TOR -- B. Buckaroo (97 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Captain
TOR -- sba (94 OVR) -- 2nd Line Center -- Asst Captain
TOR -- M. van der Veen (98 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender
VAN -- F. Bar (95 OVR) -- 2nd Line Center -- Asst Captain
VAN -- C. Buttworth (95 OVR) -- Starting Center
WSH -- A. Jones (98 OVR) -- Starting Left Wing -- Asst Captain
WSH -- R. Dangler (97 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Asst Captain
WSH -- B. Lundgren (98 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Captain
WPG -- L. Lazaruk (92 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing -- Asst Captain
WPG -- T. Palin (95 OVR) -- Starting Goaltender


Comments
:siren: A TRANSACTION HAPPENED :siren:
Hockles wanted too much money for Minnesota, apparently.
Out come the 1 year contracts
Borkiwicz, Hat, Roboy, Skill, Stahl, & Steidl all become Captain
Spamtron gets an A

Faggot Guy
Aug 29, 2011

TWO TIME SUPERBOWL MVP
122 points and bounced in 6 in QFs by the FLAMES!!!!

A shameful display.

Aurora
Jan 7, 2008

gently caress off Seguin this team is mine now

Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!
Dinosaur Gum
Why the gently caress did I re-sign in Edmonton? Oh, $36 million? Ok.

LumpyGumby
Feb 22, 2012

"Here's the world famous hockey player sitting in the penalty box for slashing..."
-Snoopy Brown
42g - 65a - 107pts
106gp - 317PIMS
@SneezyPeens 3secs ago
-Tosses another Vezina on the pile-
-Gets bounced in first round-
#5thVezina1Cup

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

Florida gets bounced in the second round again. We'll never win that second Cup.

Hockles posted:

End of 2028-29 Season Update
Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward)
Andrew Kilza -- Florida Panthers

Comments
Kilza gets his first Selke

:toot:

Pleads
Jun 9, 2005

pew pew pew


Hockles posted:

Transaction News
BUF -- signed UFA Hockles to a $18.2mil/1yr contract
:vince:

Hockles posted:

2028-29 Opening Night Info
BUF -- Hockles (98 OVR) -- Starting Center -- Asst Captain
BUF -- P. Borkiwicz (96 OVR) -- Starting Right Wing -- Captain
BUF -- Potatoes (94 OVR) -- Starting D-Pairing
m-bison-yesssssss.gif

gently caress off forever, Reinharts. But laffo that Hockles got the A instead of Potatoes.


Now to just figure out how Buffalo can continue to be SO BAD.

Xtanstic
Nov 23, 2007

Yes!!! A second Stanley Cup in Minny!

And a 2nd Norris out of nowhere!! Take that!


Hockles posted:


Comments
:siren: A TRANSACTION HAPPENED :siren:
Hockles wanted too much money for Minnesota, apparently.

Our core is gone you greedy jerk :mad:

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Verviticus
Mar 13, 2006

I'm just a total piece of shit and I'm not sure why I keep posting on this site. Christ, I have spent years with idiots giving me bad advice about online dating and haven't noticed that the thread I'm in selects for people that can't talk to people worth a damn.
wait what? we win a cup and i win conn smythe and hockles LEAVES?

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