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Rurutia posted:Can someone explain to me the perceived problem with leashes and harnesses? I mean, it's pretty well accepted that keeping check of a child is a hard thing, what's the problem with some extra security? I just didn't realize it was a thing, I know my mom used one and my fiance's mother used one. But both of our parents are not from the U.S. It pretty much doesn't get much further than "oh my god, look at that terrible person treating a sweet innocent child LIKE A DOG". They see it as if you've got it attached to a prong collar and are dragging the kid along behind you while they lay on the ground screaming because you're just too lazy to pay attention to your child rather than you're doing the best you can to provide your child with freedom to explore while keeping them safe and within a reasonable distance from you.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 01:46 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 07:27 |
It's funny in that holding hands = fine, stroller = fine even with bigger kids, leash = EVIL HOW DARE YOU TREAT YOUR KID LIKE AN ANIMAL YOU MUST BE A TERRIBLE PARENT.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 02:08 |
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It's one of those things that nonparents think. I used to think it too. I've never used a leash but I don't judge anyone for it any more either. Same with "Ill never let my kid use a game at a restaurant!" And a bunch of other dumb stuff people who haven't raised kids think.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 02:27 |
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Sockmuppet posted:My kid never took a bottle, so I have no personal experience with this, but is there any reason why you can't just pump and dump to keep up supply, and not have to bring all the milk back home with you? Or am I completely misunderstanding the question? Its an option, but the thought of throwing all that milk down the drain makes me want to cry. I didn't think about the car adapter like someone else said. That's a good idea. Thank you both.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 02:37 |
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The Grumpy Snail posted:Its an option, but the thought of throwing all that milk down the drain makes me want to cry. I didn't think about the car adapter like someone else said. That's a good idea. Thank you both. You can look up the local Human Milk 4 Human Babies chapter and find someone to donate it to if you don't want to haul it home.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 03:20 |
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I have to say I'm definitely considering a leash for my 2.5 year old. Twice now he's disappeared in a store on me and it is probably the worst feeling ever. You just look away for two seconds and he disappears through the clothing racks and won't make a noise when called for. gently caress what anyone else says.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 04:44 |
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Rurutia posted:Can someone explain to me the perceived problem with leashes and harnesses? I mean, it's pretty well accepted that keeping check of a child is a hard thing, what's the problem with some extra security? I just didn't realize it was a thing, I know my mom used one and my fiance's mother used one. But both of our parents are not from the U.S. When you're holding hands with your kid, because of the limits of the angles, the length of their arms, and the limits of physics, there can never be more than a foot or so between you and your spawn. This is to say, no matter how far away the two of you get, I (and the rest of society) can still walk past you in the mall, in the grocery store aisle, or on the sidewalk. If you're not holding hands and your kid bolts, there is enough space such that I can walk past you as you regroup and gather your spawn. With one of these handy leashes, there is 3-4 feet of leash, plus the length of your outstretched arm inbetween you and your spawn at all times. So that you can obliviously browse pasta shapes while little Timmy clears glass jars off the shelf on the opposite side of the aisle, bringing traffic in the store to a complete halt. While I find putting a leash on a child comparable to putting a leash on a dog, and I personally wouldn't do it, I don't care if others do it or not. Until you are both at opposite ends of the leash, with the taught leash preventing anyone else from doing anything nearby you. Then I hate them with a passionate fire. It should be noted that I have one kid who is not a bolter, so I probably wouldn't understand anyhow.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 07:17 |
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photomikey posted:While I find putting a leash on a child comparable to putting a leash on a dog, and I personally wouldn't do it, ...you wouldn't put a leash on a dog? Leashes are like everything else - bad if used badly, good if used sensibly and when needed. If you use a leash to avoid parenting your child, its bad. If you use it in crowded/dangerous areas to control a child who tends to run off, they can be a great tool for keeping your child safe. It's pretty petty to get pissed off at being a little bit inconvenienced by a leash if the purpose of it is to keep the toddler at the other end from being run over by a car while the parent tries to wrangle shopping bags and one or more siblings.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 09:05 |
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Back when I worked at fedex we had a mom who needed to send a fax. This generally requires 2 hands because you've got to position the paper right. Her 4 year old bolted his little heart out right for our back break room. I actually caught the little dude. She was obviously a very attentive mom, was holding his hand the other 99% of the time but I think the kid would have benefited from a leash to protect him the other 1% of the time. Moms aren't super humans. I don't have kids but I totally understand the hardship of needing to take care of real world poo poo when you don't make enough money to get a baby sitter on a moments notice or just plain out need to run a quick errand.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 16:09 |
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Yeah, I think people underestimate the ability of small children to wriggle out of holding hands, unless you're grasping their wrist so that they can't get away, which isn't really great. We're not going to get a leash, but I can at least understand why some parents want to use them.
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 16:33 |
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Sockmuppet posted:...you wouldn't put a leash on a dog?
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# ? Jun 6, 2014 21:33 |
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I have a 15-month-old who loves to politely hold hands and walk next to me until she decides she wants to go in another direction, and then she'll book it. She's terrifyingly fast and, as 15-month-olds tend to be, not great with the common sense. If I put her in the stroller, she gets super mad, because she wants to be walking, and then I've got a screaming wiggling child. She can Houdini herself out of any shopping cart restraint system, properly applied, in less than a minute when she decides she's done in the cart, which is unsafe enough that we don't like putting her up there when we can avoid it. I can carry her for the whole trip, but it's a big offputting adventure to go anywhere at that point, because she doesn't want to be held either when she's in a new place. So yeah, I absolutely put my kid on a leash. It's a stuffed animal backpack, which she loves, and I hold the leash in one hand and her hand in another, and we have a peaceful happy shopping trip because she can be a Big Girl and walk around and I don't have to worry about her getting very far when she inevitably wiggles free and tries to take off. It is probably the best small child related purchase I've made because it provides an acceptable compromise between her freedom and my sanity. Besides, my dog will come every time when I call his name. My kid finds it a hilarious game to giggle at me and run and hide behind things, because babies.
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 11:10 |
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Parent walking around at the zoo, allowing child to explore without being stuck in a stroller or held in arms (possibly squirming and shrieking to be let down) and with a backpack leash to prevent him from disappearing in a split second because ATTENTION SPAN- sure! Child milling about listlessly on a leash while momma gabs with her friends and has a venti frappachino in one hand and her iPhone in the other? Not so much. With that said, I have never actually seen the latter! It's just a knee-jerk reaction some people have. Everyone makes assumptions. And no matter what you do, someone's gonna have a snotty opinion. Do what works for you and damned to the judgy bitches.
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 12:59 |
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Daemoxx posted:Besides, my dog will come every time when I call his name. My kid finds it a hilarious game to giggle at me and run and hide behind things, because babies. Parents of older kids: when does this get better? My son's 28 months and his usual response to "Andrew, come here!" is to giggle and keep going, unless I actually sound panicked in which case his response is to freeze where he is. I mean, he does run over to me sometimes but I have no idea how to teach him "no, seriously, when I say 'come here' I mean 'come here'." (I found myself actually telling him that the other day. I didn't expect it to work, though.) EVG posted:Child milling about listlessly on a leash while momma gabs with her friends and has a venti frappachino in one hand and her iPhone in the other? Not so much. Man, if my son would mill listlessly around my feet in quiet despair, rather than try to take my coffee, take someone else's coffee, take my phone, take someone else's phone, scream "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY," or realize that I'm not paying attention and try to worm the end of the leash away from me, I might have to get coffee more often But yeah, "kids on leashes" had the exact same feel for me before I decided to try it with my son. "Parents just want an excuse not to pay attention! When my son's walking I'll just hold his hand and we'll happily go everywhere!" (I find I have to be more vigilant when he's not holding my hand; I won't have the feedback of "oh hey he just let go of my hand, what is he up to now".)
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 14:02 |
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EVG posted:Parent walking around at the zoo, allowing child to explore without being stuck in a stroller or held in arms (possibly squirming and shrieking to be let down) and with a backpack leash to prevent him from disappearing in a split second because ATTENTION SPAN- sure! This is actually what I wanted to use it for soon. We're going to an aquarium next weekend and a trip to DC and the national zoo in a few weeks. I don't think listless is in my kid's vocabulary either. He's either 100% or asleep. Thanks for the reassurance. I think I'll order something cute off amazon and see how it goes at the aquarium before our DC trip. My kid would be trying to steal my coffee for his own consumption. I don't know why he thinks coffee is the best thing in the world. I usually drink a redeye straight.
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 14:13 |
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zonohedron posted:Parents of older kids: when does this get better? My son's 28 months and his usual response to "Andrew, come here!" is to giggle and keep going, unless I actually sound panicked in which case his response is to freeze where he is. I mean, he does run over to me sometimes but I have no idea how to teach him "no, seriously, when I say 'come here' I mean 'come here'." (I found myself actually telling him that the other day. I didn't expect it to work, though.) My daughter was a bolter, too. We had to make sure to be super consistent. We would say "please come here," once only, kindly and politely, but firmly, and then if she didn't come, we would get up and get her and bring her back. Repeat. No asking twice or pleading, no inconsistencies. She might squirm or cry, but if she ran away after being asked to come back, we would immediately get her, and leave wherever we were. I only had to do that three times before she got it, but it sucked every time. We live close to downtown in a fairly large city, and it would only take moments to lose her entirely. She's almost 5 now, and I trust her completely to go out safely in public with me, even on her bike or scooter.
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 14:53 |
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Daemoxx posted:I have a 15-month-old who loves to politely hold hands and walk next to me until she decides she wants to go in another direction, and then she'll book it. She's terrifyingly fast and, as 15-month-olds tend to be, not great with the common sense. If I put her in the stroller, she gets super mad, because she wants to be walking, and then I've got a screaming wiggling child. She can Houdini herself out of any shopping cart restraint system, properly applied, in less than a minute when she decides she's done in the cart, which is unsafe enough that we don't like putting her up there when we can avoid it. I can carry her for the whole trip, but it's a big offputting adventure to go anywhere at that point, because she doesn't want to be held either when she's in a new place. I'm sold. I'm buying one for my toddler as soon as we get home from our mini vacation. She refuses to hold my hand and refuses to let daddy carry her. So it's either carrying a 24lb wiggle worm, dealing with her squirming out of the stroller, or dashing after her as she bolts in all directions. I will add that we have an Ergo that I can put on my back but this girl wants to move and that also gets heavy after a while.
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 17:18 |
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We did esentially what Daemoxx did. Puppy dog backpack, leash wrapped around my wrist a dozen times, about a foot, maybe less, of lead between me and the backpack. She held my hand, and when Sweatyhand McBolt wriggled and "ran", she had no place to go. She got tired of the futility pretty fast and we were able to stop using it after just a few uses (garage sales, mostly). But I loved having it and I would do it again.
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 20:06 |
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I ordered this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A3I3FT2/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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# ? Jun 7, 2014 22:41 |
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Any advice for an infant with diarrhea? Our 3.5 month-old, and he woke up with a nasty nasty liquid filled diaper. He's had one more bout since this morning, and has been sleeping the rest of the time. He's usually up and alert in the mornings, so something is definitely unusual. We called the nurse's hotline and they said as long as he's not vomiting or dehydrated it will probably go away on its own. I'm sure I'm just doing the new parent freak-out, but this is the first time our guy has been sick and it sucks.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 16:23 |
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Sneeing Emu posted:Any advice for an infant with diarrhea? Our 3.5 month-old, and he woke up with a nasty nasty liquid filled diaper. He's had one more bout since this morning, and has been sleeping the rest of the time. He's usually up and alert in the mornings, so something is definitely unusual. We called the nurse's hotline and they said as long as he's not vomiting or dehydrated it will probably go away on its own. I'm sure I'm just doing the new parent freak-out, but this is the first time our guy has been sick and it sucks. Just keep him hydrated, nurse more or give extra formula or some water. Hang tight, take his temp every hour or so, watch for signs of behavior changes, lethargy. It sucks. The 1st year is worse than the 2nd, the 2nd is worse than the 3rd as far as illness is concerned.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 16:52 |
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Sneeing Emu posted:Any advice for an infant with diarrhea? Our 3.5 month-old, and he woke up with a nasty nasty liquid filled diaper. He's had one more bout since this morning, and has been sleeping the rest of the time. He's usually up and alert in the mornings, so something is definitely unusual. We called the nurse's hotline and they said as long as he's not vomiting or dehydrated it will probably go away on its own. I'm sure I'm just doing the new parent freak-out, but this is the first time our guy has been sick and it sucks. I agree with the nurse. Make sure he's drinking plenty milk/formula and resting. Not much you can do with a baby that young. If he seems really lethargic and, like, limp, then I would go to urgent care. [Of course, I am no doctor]
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 16:52 |
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Sneeing Emu posted:Any advice for an infant with diarrhea? Our 3.5 month-old, and he woke up with a nasty nasty liquid filled diaper. He's had one more bout since this morning, and has been sleeping the rest of the time. He's usually up and alert in the mornings, so something is definitely unusual. We called the nurse's hotline and they said as long as he's not vomiting or dehydrated it will probably go away on its own. I'm sure I'm just doing the new parent freak-out, but this is the first time our guy has been sick and it sucks. Briar had the same thing happen to her around 3 months. The nurse we ended up speaking to several times over the course of the week had is giving her pedialyte on top of regular feelings to keep her hydrated. Ontario has an after hours, non emergency medic phone number where you can speak to a nurse at any time of the day, so if you're concerned about dehydration and want to give pedialyte a shot, I'd find out if your state/province has a similar service, and then call and run it by them first to see if they think it is necessary.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 23:34 |
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Alterian posted:I use to snerk at people that use a harness and leash on their kids, but I've been tempted to get one for my 18 month old for longer outdoor outings. Does anyone use one? Do they still have the stigma of "bad parenting" with them? We're a few months from needing one but I am definitely grabbing a leash at first opportunity. If I can't have a leashed human attached to me, why did I even become a parent?
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# ? Jun 9, 2014 20:21 |
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Anyone have experience fixing this sort of jumper? I borrowed a jumper and it broke - one snapped and another one is half frayed. Not too safe. Can someone point me at replacement parts or service? It's one of these little Einstein jumpers http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EUV2BSE/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_CfKLtb0BK5NWR Proust Malone fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Jun 10, 2014 |
# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:20 |
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Ron Jeremy posted:Anyone have experience fixing this sort of jumper? I borrowed a jumper and it broke - one snapped and another one is half frayed. Not too safe. Can someone point me at replacement parts or service? Baby Einstein jumpers are made by Kids II company, but really Kids II doesn't actually manufacture any parts, they contract it all out to various manufacturers. As such, they have no specific replacement parts section of their website. My understanding is you are supposed to contact Kids II directly through customer service and they will determine how to handle it. (As an aside, that jumper has been recalled due to the sun toy rebounding and smacking babies in the head, resulting in at least one skull fracture). Here's their contact info: http://kidsii.com/contact-us/consumer-service
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 01:40 |
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I am not positive that this is the right place to post this, so if it isn't could someone please point me in the right direction? Like many ex spouses mine is basically insane. We have been divorced for over two years now and she continues to try and dictate my life and what I do. She has this self imposed "rule" that we aren't to introduce our son to whoever we are dating, which the mediator already told her two years ago is none of her business and not her right to tell me who to surround myself with. Just the other day she texted me to say we are "going back to court," because she wants to move four plus hours away with our son. We have 50/50 split custody and As it is now I pay child support, 100% of his school, 100% of his health insurance, and countless other bills and expenses. I have been doing a lot of reading online and it is hard to really know what to expect, some places say that if she chooses to move that she will then be responsible for any travel expenses so my son and I are spending the same amount of time together, others say it is up to the judge as to whats in the child's best interest. She is looking to move away from the best schools in the country to go live in Bumfuck southern Virginia where there are horrible school and absolutely no opportunity. She also doesn't have a penny to her name, a job lined up or anywhere to live, except possibly with her dad, who is a multiple convicted felon who spent many many years in prison for selling drugs, among other things. What can I do to blow this out of the water when the time comes? I don't want to take him away from her, but if that's the game she wants to play I will certainly be the best player. Info: I live in Virginia.
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 16:27 |
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Gather as many documents as you can pertaining to your role as a caregiver, and then take them to a lawyer. Or just call a lawyer and ask them?
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 17:26 |
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If you have the means find the best family law lawyer you can and fight for your interests.
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 17:32 |
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Lawyer up, ASAP. Keep documentation on anything and everything, especially about you paying 100% of the bills. Also, if you think she's a flight risk with your son, lawyer up immediately and tell whoever you get to represent you that you believe so and why.
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 18:04 |
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I already have an attorney, that one who handled our divorce. The next course of action is for us both to go to mediation, and if we cannot agree that is when we will go to court. Basically the only way I will agree is if she will either grant me full custody or nothing changes. She isn't a bad mother by any means, she just is a lovely person. I am just hopeful that once we get to court that a judge is going to look at the best interest of our son and realize that taking him away from his 100% supportive father so that his mom can move to the beach is absolutely ridiculous.
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 18:21 |
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I think I have an idea of where she's trying to move (I live in Hampton Roads). Yeah, if it's where I think it is, there's like...nothing there besides marsh, beach, and ramshackle houses.
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 18:43 |
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AngryRobotsInc posted:I think I have an idea of where she's trying to move (I live in Hampton Roads). Yeah, if it's where I think it is, there's like...nothing there besides marsh, beach, and ramshackle houses. Basically. Her dad lives in Smithfield and I know thats her only option for a place to live since shes poor.
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 19:04 |
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My kid has been potty-trained for about a year now. She's been dry over nap time for about six months. This all changed about 6 weeks ago. She's been wetting at nap time. She's been having between one and three wet accidents a day. Two weeks ago she peed inside the McPlayPlace (I got so judged by the other families). Last week she peed on the couch so much that I had to replace the cushions entirely. Last night she had a solid accident. I don't know what to do. Part of it is that she has a longer attention span now, which means she's playing longer and being distracted longer and forgetting/not noticing that she needs to go. And she's had some life-stress; she just turned three last week, she moved into a new room at daycare, and I've been being more strict with her at home. But I'm afraid that if I lighten up, she'll think that potty accidents mean she gets to do what she wants with no penalty. I'm strict on things like, you need to sit in your chair to eat; once you are excused to go play you can't come have more dinner; you need to put your clothes on so we can go to school; you need to get our of the bathtub now. I ask her to do it, I count to 20, I tell her I won't ask her again, I could to 10, and then I put her in the seat or pull her from the tub or whatever. So I don't think I'm over-strict, I really don't. Am I being too hard on her? Is it just stress and being too interested in playing? Other than removing (her from) the distraction every 90 minutes or so and telling her she can't have more until she potties, what else can I do? I've put her back in cotton training pants and taken away her regular Disney character underwear for the sake of laundry and hygiene.
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# ? Jun 10, 2014 21:57 |
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I'd first get a doctor appointment, just to make sure it's not something medical causing it beside stress. I've had a lot of issues with potty training my son. He's going to be 10 this July and he's still not fully there, but he's autistic, so it's to be expected. One thing that's worked for us is setting a schedule, and using a timer with a very audible beep for it. Every set span of time he has to go to the bathroom, and at least try to go. We also use a reward system. If he goes all day without an accident, he gets a small reward like a bag of Skittles/ice cream/whatever for dessert, extra time with his video games, watch a favorite movie before bed, etc. A week, he gets a bigger reward, like going to the zoo (only because we get in for free, otherwise that wouldn't be a weekly possibility), a new toy, a trip to the movies, so on. AngryRobotsInc fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Jun 11, 2014 |
# ? Jun 10, 2014 22:17 |
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So all I want is to get my kid eating veggies again. At 18 months, he'd eat spinach, broccoli, carrots, squash, etc. Not even like homemade baby food, he'd actually straight up eat baked slices of seasoned yellow squash and stuff. Now we're at 2 years 3 months and he won't touch anything that isn't covered in cheese or fried or what have you without a fight. Things he used to love he won't taste at all. I mean, he used to love dried cranberries and yesterday I offered him some and he flat out refused. Cried. Then tried one and liked it and ate a bunch. It's at this point I have to bring up that I'm not the primary in a joint custody situation. My ex wife keeps him and I get alternate weekends and wednesdays except I get him for two weeks at a time alternating over the summer. I want to see if I can use my two week bursts to re-introduce him to veggies but really I have no idea how. Most of my vegetable intake is raw. Salads, just snacking on baby carrots, throw some avocado on anything and everything. If I'm eating a vegetable and it's not raw it's cooked into some kinda stew or gumbo or something. I have no idea what I'd cook him or what to read or where to start looking for ideas so I'm asking here. How do I get him back into veggies? I have to fight two year old independence and refusals to do it, and really I have no idea how to make this into something he actually can get behind. We're at the point we're contemplating getting a ton of green food coloring and making everything he eats green just to see if it throws him off enough to get a taste developed. He's not old enough for popeye yet but that got me into spinach and I'm even considering that. Opinions and advice? Book recommendations? Good kid's vitamins? What is in my power to do here?
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# ? Jun 11, 2014 01:38 |
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TheSpiritFox posted:Opinions and advice? Book recommendations? Good kid's vitamins? What is in my power to do here? I would try to avoid making it a power struggle, which is probably what's going on. With my son, we serve him veggies along with his meal and he doesn't get seconds or dessert unless he tries everything on his plate. We're very matter-of-fact that those are the rules and they aren't up for discussion. Your child can eat veggies in pretty much any form you do. My son loves salad with a good helping of dressing on it and gumbo would probably be a hit too.
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# ? Jun 11, 2014 01:47 |
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TheSpiritFox posted:Opinions and advice? Book recommendations? Good kid's vitamins? What is in my power to do here? Let him help choose, and prepare (to the degree that he can). With almost every kid I've seen, if they get involved in choosing and making the food, they're much more likely to eat it, even if it's the dreaded ~vegetables~. Another thing I've seen work with kids that age is 'fun' foods. Ants on a log, cucumber flowers, a rainbow with different colored vegetables, stuff like that.
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# ? Jun 11, 2014 03:39 |
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I don't think there is time to develop habits in 1 or 2 days on alternating weeks. When my daughter was 2, she temporarily strayed away from vegetables, and rather than forcing her, I'd just sit her in front of a plate of them and wait for nature to take its course. If they are around long enough, she'll try them.
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# ? Jun 11, 2014 05:19 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 07:27 |
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You can also try to sneak veggies into muffins and the such if you have the time to bake? I am trying to teach myself to be a better baker/chef and I have been having fun trying to sneak in foods that my kids otherwise wouldn't eat.
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# ? Jun 11, 2014 05:44 |