Idiots on Social Media Thread

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Fashionable Jorts: Jan 18, 2010; Maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you

Henchman of Santa posted:

This weird dude I had a film class with posts pseudo-intellectual Less Wrong type statuses every once in a while

Dudes been playing a bit too much Metal Gear.

# ? Jun 15, 2014 23:35

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# ? May 23, 2024 13:03

old bean factory: Nov 18, 2006; Will ya close the fucking doors?!

Tracula posted:

Christ that's awful. I'm going to presume that red also thinks that 9/11 was an inside job, believes in chemtrails, etc?

Have you ever known someone to die during 9/11? Heh thought so, sheep. I want to punch myself for typing that.

# ? Jun 15, 2014 23:48

CrowsNestMutineer: Mar 9, 2009; _{* Juciano makes the best damned Caesar dressing I've ever tasted in my life.}

mng posted:

loving hell, what a deplorable human being. He must think blue is a... no, I'm not even going to try to make sense of his thought pattern.

As a (really icky) thought experiment, I tried to figure this guy out, but he still doesn't make any sense. Here's how it breaks down:

The media reports that an Event has occurred. You believe that the Event has not occurred, and that it is a falsehood constructed by the Powers That Be. Assuming that 100% of the population is aware of the media's reportage of the Event we can safely break down the population into three groups.
1) The Dupes. This is the largest group, consisting of the majority of the population. The Dupes believe the story about the Event as told by the Powers That Be through the media.
2) The Truthers. You belong to this group. The Truthers "know" (via whatever epistemological means) that the Event has not occurred, and want to convert Dupes into additional Truthers.
3) The Powers That Be. This is the smallest group, being the inventors of the Event and their willing lackeys.

Dupes get all of their information from the media. They claim no first-hand knowledge of the Event. You, as a Truther, can argue with a Dupe and attempt to change their mind. But if someone does claim first-hand knowledge of the Event, such as claiming to personally know someone who died, they must be a member of Group 3 and a lackey of the Powers That Be. They know the truth, just as you do, but unlike you they wish to conceal it. And as such... there is absolutely no point in arguing with this person on Facebook. You can argue with Group 1, but never with Group 3, because they have a vested interest in denying your story.

...which is a really long-winded way of saying that this guy is an idiot, because even if his beliefs weren't abominable, his rhetorical methods have no chance of success.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 00:50

Tracula: Mar 26, 2010; PLEASE LEAVE

I know there has so be some psychology to it but I don't get why it's always so in for a penny in for a pound with conspiracy theorists. I get maybe thinking an event or two has some false flag cloak and dagger bullshit to it because fine, there's probably some conspiracies out there. I just will never understand why it seems like if someone believes in one conspiracy they believe in literally every single one ever.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 00:57

karl fungus: May 6, 2011; Baeume sind auch Freunde

If you're whacked-out enough to believe in a conspiracy theory in the first place, why stop at one?

# ? Jun 16, 2014 01:32

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

Conspiracy culture endorses cutting yourself off from all non-conspiracy-culture sources of information. As a result, the people engaged in it start to lose their contact with reality, and reinforce each other's delusions in a circlejerk of bullshit.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 06:22

nippythefish: Nov 20, 2007; FEED ME SNAKES

"Obama officials confirm..."

"The government doesn't want you to know..."

Those two statements directly contradict each other. What a loving tool.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 06:33

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Yeah its funny that these masters of the universe could somehow only hold the secret in for like a year before Obama spills the beans.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 06:51

SodomyGoat101: Nov 20, 2012

My favorites are the ones that involve the EBIL GUBBMINT murdering hundreds or thousands of their own citizens for some nefarious purpose, but inexplicably letting some mouthy gently caress on the internet post all about it on Facebook, of all places. The government is simultaneously a looming omnipresent pure evil that manipulates everything, and so terribly incompetent and helpless that some dude in Arkansas can crack the conspiracy with no repercussions.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 07:12

Tracula: Mar 26, 2010; PLEASE LEAVE

SodomyGoat101 posted:

My favorites are the ones that involve the EBIL GUBBMINT murdering hundreds or thousands of their own citizens for some nefarious purpose, but inexplicably letting some mouthy gently caress on the internet post all about it on Facebook, of all places. The government is simultaneously a looming omnipresent pure evil that manipulates everything, and so terribly incompetent and helpless that some dude in Arkansas can crack the conspiracy with no repercussions.

I'm not sure what people think of Maddox but his article about 9/11 conspiracy theorists sums it all up perfectly: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=911_morons

# ? Jun 16, 2014 07:19

Mezzanine: Aug 23, 2009

SodomyGoat101 posted:

My favorites are the ones that involve the EBIL GUBBMINT murdering hundreds or thousands of their own citizens for some nefarious purpose, but inexplicably letting some mouthy gently caress on the internet post all about it on Facebook, of all places. The government is simultaneously a looming omnipresent pure evil that manipulates everything, and so terribly incompetent and helpless that some dude in Arkansas can crack the conspiracy with no repercussions.

Because letting the dude in Arkansas post is all part of THEIR plan! Don't you see? They WANT you to think that it's impossible because someone is posting about it! Which means it's actually possible!

God, I feel like the Sicilian boss from Princess Bride.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 08:07

Field Mousepad: Mar 21, 2010; BAE

That guy is a total shithead, conspiracy theorist or not.

Mastodon noooo!

# ? Jun 16, 2014 09:15

Supeerme: Sep 13, 2010

I always thought that conspiracy theorists think that every school shooting is fake to help them sleep at night. It's better that a big evil organisation is doing this than accept that children are dead because some dude didn't get any pussy.

It's just like the Moon Landing as well. People think that it's fake because they can't comprehend that we can go to a different planet.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 09:52

Marley Wants More: Oct 22, 2005; woof

Tracula posted:

I just will never understand why it seems like if someone believes in one conspiracy they believe in literally every single one ever.

Conspiracy theories: the potato chips of stupidity.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 11:14

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Supeerme posted:

I always thought that conspiracy theorists think that every school shooting is fake to help them sleep at night. It's better that a big evil organisation is doing this than accept that children are dead because some dude didn't get any pussy.

That's my theory as well; they can't deal with a chaotic world so they invent a narrative where everything happens for a reason. They might have been very religious, but instead they've just find this belief system where, ironically, they're safe because the government controls all the bad things.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 12:20

Clustard: Sep 30, 2012

This is my favorite Idiots on Facebook repository. It's a right-wing propaganda machine and is kinda creepy. If you like right-wing idiocy, then this is for you.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 12:48

bonestructure: Sep 25, 2008; by Ralp

Clustard posted:

This is my favorite Idiots on Facebook repository. It's a right-wing propaganda machine and is kinda creepy. If you like right-wing idiocy, then this is for you.

These people are precious. :allears:

Also dovetails neatly with Mezzanine's post above. That really is what they think, they all believe they're Mel Gibson in that lovely movie with Julia Roberts.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 12:59

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

I get why you'd post that. What I don't get is a) Why you'd leave it up and b) Why would you retweet it?

# ? Jun 16, 2014 14:15

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

FrozenVent posted:

I get why you'd post that. What I don't get is a) Why you'd leave it up and b) Why would you retweet it?

Well I have to see if it works for MY twitter too!

# ? Jun 16, 2014 14:55

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

mng posted:

loving hell, what a deplorable human being. He must think blue is a... no, I'm not even going to try to make sense of his thought pattern.

Blue is a government plant obviously.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 14:59

Kraps: Sep 9, 2011; This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

Yeah its funny that these masters of the universe could somehow only hold the secret in for like a year before Obama spills the beans.

Uhhhh clearly the Lizard overlords feed Obama exactly what he should say.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 16:06

Excels: Mar 7, 2012; Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

The thing about 9/11 truthers is that they think knowing who did 9/11 changes anything. Even if you had a loving signed Polaroid of Bush and Bin Laden playing golf together, so what? It's not going to "open people's eyes" to how the world really is, because most people who buy into that Illuminati stuff will believe literally anything.

Excels has a new favorite as of 18:19 on Jun 16, 2014

# ? Jun 16, 2014 18:17

trapped mouse: May 25, 2008; by Azathoth

The truth hurts, nerd. :cool:

# ? Jun 16, 2014 18:56

Excels: Mar 7, 2012; Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

Kill la Kill is a good anime. I hope they make a bunch of video games about it so that you can all discover how good it is.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 19:03

Excels: Mar 7, 2012; Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

Wow, just got this on my fb feed.

quote:

The Art of the Over-Share

Contained within this instructional are fast and easy steps to get that person off your back(or fb chat) and FAST! Do not use the material lightly as it has the potential to be as potent as over 9000 'Hail Mary's' and a hearty breakfast. The steps that will be forthwith are to be used in descending order and the whole process stopped and considered a successful endeavor upon the cessation of any and all conversation with the chosen target.

1. Create a piece of writing that is emotional for you, and share it! Make it just believable enough to pass an initial inspection of quality control, but still terrible enough to allow for second hand embarrassment of the individual whom you are rudely forcing it upon. Make sure that the benefactor of your epistle is not in the correct mood to receive, and let that enter button fly! This step if executed correctly, and with the proper length should undoubtedly make the human in question repent ever initiating or continuing the conversation to any degree.

2. Divulge personal tales of failure and inadequacy. With this technique surprise is your friend! Do not hesitate to take the proverbial bull by the horns and initiate some gut wrenching, and very personal, stories which are not relevant in any way to the conversation. It should also be mentioned that one may take extra initiative and slip in some subtext of prowess in the neediness department which is sure to cause 'the inner cringe'. This step if aptly applied should make said person question your sanity, and probably stop any communication.

3. Blather on about your inner turmoil and pain experienced on a daily basis. This step should be made as dramatic as possible. And may be utilized as often and frequently as you feel is necessary. They say 'Hello'? You say 'Pain'. But elaborate, have fun with it! There is no dark corner of your soul that said fellow thespian should be unaware of. This step, if executed frequently enough and with sufficient disregard will most likely initiate or add to the narrative of sanity questioning within the individual whom you are conversing with. The more they query why in the first place they are talking to you, the better! By this step, there is a very high chance that avoidance is a side affect as well as possibly distaste on behalf of the target.

4. Mention some spiritual belief that is way out there, and try and force it down their throat. Make sure you only half believe it, and try to be as convincing as possible. It should also be mentioned that throughout these steps it is practical and essential to ignore anything and everything the other person says. And in the case of this technique, to discount their opinion in favour of a healthy dose of spiritual mumbo jumbo which you are serving on a platter. Remember, the focus is on YOU. So remember to keep it on yourself at all times and to deftly ignore everything and anything that the person tries to bring to your attention. Including how rude and inconsiderate you are, honestly they should have ended all contact by now.

5. Thats right, bring up your Daddy/Mommy Issues! Go forth and dig deep, find the most self deprecating memory from your childhood and over-share it with as much detail as possible! Unresolved Oedipus/Electra complex? gently caress, yes, DO TELL! In fact use such excruciating detail that the other persons delicate sensibilities are brought to all new levels of offended which hit faster and harder than warp speed on the enterprise.

So ends the instructional. As aforementioned use this valuable information with caution. Results should start to show around phase 2, and come to a culmination around 3. Remember, with perseverance and practice results will become more immediate.

These ideas are really bad and also what the gently caress

# ? Jun 16, 2014 19:18

CCrew: Nov 5, 2007

trapped mouse posted:

The truth hurts, nerd.

"I expected Gurren Lagann, where the main female lead is wearing short shorts and a flaming bikini top throughout the series. What I got was a scantily clad female lead!"
:negative:

# ? Jun 16, 2014 20:13

Serperoth: Feb 21, 2013

CCrew posted:

"I expected Gurren Lagann, where the main female lead is wearing short shorts and a flaming bikini top throughout the series. What I got was a scantily clad female lead!"

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann was also a mediocre anime, as the "meh" seems to imply, so I don't see the problem. Maybe he expected robots?

# ? Jun 16, 2014 20:16

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

I was on my way to imgur to upload a screenshot of some dumb twitter comments, but this seems much more appropriate for the thread - http://imgur.com/gallery/L4XBtPO

quote:

Tip for men: turn on the audio on your smartphone during your entire encounter, so you can have a defence if something like this happens.

And a bit of a palate cleanser:

300 mph winds, y'all.

FrozenVent has a new favorite as of 20:26 on Jun 16, 2014

# ? Jun 16, 2014 20:24

Laverna: Mar 21, 2013

FrozenVent posted:

I was on my way to imgur to upload a screenshot of some dumb twitter comments, but this seems much more appropriate for the thread - http://imgur.com/gallery/L4XBtPO

Oh, wow.
I really shouldn't have read those comments but I'm kind of shocked that only one person even commented on the fact that she'd had 8 vodkas...

# ? Jun 16, 2014 20:57

FirstAidKite: Nov 8, 2009

Red is me, Blue is the person who shared the picture. I never liked the whole "ban all rocks!" argument against gun control seeing as guns are pretty specifically created with killing in mind whereas a rock has a lot of uses that don't involve killing. I was hoping by asking questions she'd realize what was wrong with the argument on her own but I don't know if she thought about it past "everyone should pray to jesus and our gun problems will be solved"

Then again, she also shared a picture I can't find now that was just a picture of a child being spanked and it said "We need child control, not gun control" or something like that.

Don't take away my guns! Beat your kids!

# ? Jun 16, 2014 21:14

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Guns are the great leveller; they make any regular schlub into an efficient killing machine. Give that same guy a rock and he'll kill like one person, and even then only if he takes them by surprise.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 21:26

trapped mouse: May 25, 2008; by Azathoth

Not posting the comment thread, as it goes exactly as you'd predict.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 21:28

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

trapped mouse posted:

Not posting the comment thread, as it goes exactly as you'd predict.

Yeah but that's the funny part.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 22:19

trapped mouse: May 25, 2008; by Azathoth

Breaky posted:

Yeah but that's the funny part.

I guess there are some gems.

A different person from the OP.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 23:03

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

"Men and women are paid equally."

Source: Adults

# ? Jun 16, 2014 23:20

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

kazil posted:

"Men and women are paid equally."

Source: Adults

Also White Privilege doesn't exist

Source: Me

# ? Jun 16, 2014 23:24

nippythefish: Nov 20, 2007; FEED ME SNAKES

FirstAidKite posted:

Red is me, Blue is the person who shared the picture. I never liked the whole "ban all rocks!" argument against gun control seeing as guns are pretty specifically created with killing in mind whereas a rock has a lot of uses that don't involve killing. I was hoping by asking questions she'd realize what was wrong with the argument on her own but I don't know if she thought about it past "everyone should pray to jesus and our gun problems will be solved"

Then again, she also shared a picture I can't find now that was just a picture of a child being spanked and it said "We need child control, not gun control" or something like that. Don't take away my guns! Beat your kids!

Surprised you didn't mention his name was "Abel".

# ? Jun 17, 2014 00:15

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

Sorry if posted before, but this just showed up for me:

# ? Jun 17, 2014 01:27

SpiderHyphenMan: Apr 1, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

Looks like someone one Delta's social media team is getting fired.

Edit: Just in case it isn't clear, this is Delta Airlines celebrating the U.S. victory over Ghana in the World Cup.

There are no giraffes in Ghana.

SpiderHyphenMan has a new favorite as of 01:53 on Jun 17, 2014

# ? Jun 17, 2014 01:47

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# ? May 23, 2024 13:03

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Proving, once again, that anyone with "social media" in their job title is not worth the air they breath.

# ? Jun 17, 2014 02:05

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