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This is a great thread, especially if someone reading is a first timer. It would have been nice before my first time if I knew plenty of people have problems / issues / difficulties / just lack of knowledge about sex.
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Jun 22, 2014 08:41
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Rotten Red Rod posted:Thanks! On that note, the girl is still snapchatting me photos... Sigh. Not really appropriate or desired. I'll have to address that with her. Block her. Cut out the drama as soon as it starts, your relationship will thank you.
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Jun 22, 2014 09:20
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loki k zen posted:Block her. Cut out the drama as soon as it starts, your relationship will thank you. Personally I would say something first just to make it clear why it's happening, but then yes cut her off. Not drawn out discussion just a clear/final "Hey you're getting too attached here, this has to stop." But that's up to him. 
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Jun 23, 2014 00:11
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When I drink and get down I have a hard time getting and staying wet. Bf and I have lube that we will smear on and keep having fun. The problem is that it dries up a lot and the just frustrates the hell out of me. Like I said its pretty much only when I drink, other times except for on occasion I'm fine or the lube works like it's supposed to. Is there another brand or type that I could look into? We use astro glide but that's what dries up so I don't know if I need to switch to a different base lube than that (I don't know off the top of my head and it's packed away right now)
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Jun 23, 2014 00:54
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Yeah, there are two ways you could change up that lube to something that'll last longer. One is one of the jellier water-based ones. Sliquid sassy will do it, I know there's others-- basically it's made to be cushiony on butts, so it's thick enough to stay put and it's thick enough to not dry up right away or drip off. Your other solution is to use a silicone lube. That poo poo will keep you lubed until it gets wiped off.
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Jun 23, 2014 02:04
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CeramicPig posted:When I drink and get down I have a hard time getting and staying wet. Just be aware that just like sometimes happens with men, when women drink: desire goes up, inhibition goes down, and performance goes down as well. With women this usually means decrease in natural lubrication and decrease in ability to orgasm. I really don't know why this would affect the performance of lubes that aren't water-based, such as Astroglide like you said you are using. So I guess either you just need to keep your lube of choice on hand for easy (albeit frequent) application, or if that's a mood killer, perhaps switch to alternate methods of getting off while drunk such as oral or external (clitoral) as opposed to penetration. I tend to run dry myself, even without inebriation, and I just use good ol' KY and add spit as needed if it gets too gooey neongrey posted:Your other solution is to use a silicone lube. That poo poo will keep you lubed until it gets wiped off.
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Jun 23, 2014 05:34
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Don't forget that alcohol is also a diuretic and the more dehydrated you are, the thicker (and less plentiful) your natural lubrication will be. It might also be why the lube doesn't work so well when you're drinking, if it's mixing with less and/or thicker natural secretions than usual.
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Jun 26, 2014 02:23
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My wife and I use Pjur silicone lube because she's a prolific squirter and will just wash away anything water based within a few minutes of applying it. It generally remains effective for the duration, in the year and a half since we switched over from water based lubricant I've had to stop and reapply maybe four times.
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Jun 26, 2014 02:26
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Thanks for all the suggestions. I'll check into something silicone based that's maybe meant for butt stuff to get some extra duration out of my lube. I hope that'll keep things going smoothly. We reapply as needed as is but it's frustrating on my end and that makes it harder for me to finish when I'm all irritated.
CeramicPig fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 02:39
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I have a somewhat unique problem, and I really need help. I can't cum. I have been on medication for bi-polar disorder for most of my adult life. The side effects of the meds are increased prolactin which will shut down the male sex drive and can cause erectile dysfunction as well. Because of this, I haven't had much of a sex life. To have sex, I have to come off my meds, let them get out of my system, have sex, then get back on the meds before I have a meltdown. However, things have changed for the better this year. In January I started taking testosterone. The test restarted my sex drive. I have been killing it in the gym. I feel like a million bucks. My mood is 100% stable, and I decided to try to get out and socialize again. I met someone fairly quickly and things are going great. We have awesome chemistry, but I have yet to cum during sex. I stay rock hard, and I can gently caress forever, but I do not come close to climaxing. I do not jerk off. I am in fantastic condition. I do not smoke. I do not consume caffeine except for what is in my pre-workout supplements. I am taking yohimbine, fenugreek, and zinc. I take an Aromatase inhibitor to keep my estrogen levels normal. I went to labcorp and got my blood work done. Most of my hormone levels are in check except my testosterone is high and my estrogen was low, which is to be expected. Progestin is still high, but I expected that as well. One of my meds is known for causing this side effect. I don't know what else to do. I am taking so much poo poo, and it feels like I am playing mad science with my body. One thing throws off something else. If I can figure out the orgasm part, I would be pretty satisfied with the current cock-tale of drugs and chemicals.
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Jun 26, 2014 19:42
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That's not an unusual problem, actually. The best thing to do is see a urologist about it. Yohimbine has a paradoxical effect in some people; though it helps resolve delayed/impaired ejaculation in many cases, for some people it exacerbates the problem. Overtraining can also be a factor for some people. Can you ever come? Or is it that you're just not coming through vaginal intercourse?
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Jun 26, 2014 20:06
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AlbieQuirky posted:That's not an unusual problem, actually. The best thing to do is see a urologist about it. Actually, I am bisexual, and my partner is male. I have been unable to cum from oral, anal, and even mutual jerking off. I have had similar problems with women in the past. When I am on my meds, blowjobs do nothing for me. Off of my meds, I pop in less than 5 minutes from a blowjob.
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Jun 26, 2014 20:20
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KelJu posted:Actually, I am bisexual, and my partner is male. I have been unable to cum from oral, anal, and even mutual jerking off. I have had similar problems with women in the past. When I am on my meds, blowjobs do nothing for me. Off of my meds, I pop in less than 5 minutes from a blowjob. If the difference is that pronounced it's probably not something that will get fixed with better sex or different sex practices, you should speak to your doctor and psychiatrist. Mechafunkzilla fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 20:24
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Seconding the recommendation for the Pjur silicone lube. The only problem I have with the stuff is sometimes it lasts too long so if I don't shower/wash myself immediately after sex I feel all weird and slidey when I walk.
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Jun 26, 2014 20:38
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CeramicPig posted:When I drink and get down I have a hard time getting and staying wet. Bf and I have lube that we will smear on and keep having fun. The problem is that it dries up a lot and the just frustrates the hell out of me. Like I said its pretty much only when I drink, other times except for on occasion I'm fine or the lube works like it's supposed to. Make putting on lube multiple times during sex a normal thing, maybe even make it sexy in itself - maybe you lube each other, and make it a mini-handjob break during sex. Phisty posted:Seconding the recommendation for the Pjur silicone lube. The only problem I have with the stuff is sometimes it lasts too long so if I don't shower/wash myself immediately after sex I feel all weird and slidey when I walk. Yes. Use Pjur. It's good poo poo. I just bought a 250ml bottle - it should last a while, and it almost looks like it could double as a dildo itself...! I like it for both vaginal and anal - I've never been happy with the anal-specific lubes, they always seemed WAY too slippery to me. You still may have to re-apply though. We usually do maybe twice per session, if it's a long one. That said, don't accidentally buy the water-based version (unless you're allergic). I did once - it's far, far inferior to the silicone version. KelJu posted:I do not jerk off. Why? Do you think that would reduce your sex drive or something? I find on days where I've jerked off once, I end up being hornier than usual, not less. Rotten Red Rod fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 21:20
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Rotten Red Rod posted:Yeah, it's good poo poo. I just bought a 250ml bottle - it should last a while I bought one of these about a year and a half ago, a little goes a long way. I can't tell for sure but I think we've used somewhere between a quarter and a third of the bottle in that time (sex on average 2-3 times per week, we pretty much always end up using some.) Of course you may want to try it out before buying such a large quantity. I got a sample from a friend before pulling the trigger on the 250ml bottle.
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Jun 26, 2014 21:27
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Rotten Red Rod posted:
I know it reduces my sex drive. I am a lot hornier and far more aggressive when I don't jerk off.
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Jun 26, 2014 21:49
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So, Tuesday's Savage Love started with a diatribe against this: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-galactic-cap It's a condom that just sticks to the head of your penis, to increase pleasure. The drawbacks are that it doesn't protect nearly as well against STDs (a LOT more skin-on-skin contact) and it's WAY more complicated to use than a normal condom (and probably will fail more often), therefore compromising the stated purposes of the condom. So, a poll for the thread: what's your favorite condom? Guys, what brand strikes a good balance between pleasure and protection for you? Do different sizes of condoms actually matter? Do you notice when the condom comes off? Girls, and gay/bi guys, what brands do you prefer the guy uses? Do condoms actually reduce pleasure for you as well, or is it a one-way street? Do ribs do anything or are they pointless? For me (a straight guy with an average size dick), my go-to condom is Crown: http://www.condomdepot.com/product/detail.cfm/nid/183/pid/2105 - I buy some in bulk every year or so. They feel great - significantly better than most other condoms I've tried - and stay on really well. The lube seems good too, although I still use a lot of Pjur. Using anything else other than these feels like putting novacaine on my dick, so I always go back to them. With one notable exception: 0.02s, made by the same (Japanese) company that makes Crown: http://www.amazon.com/Okamoto-0-02-12pc-Regular-Size/dp/B003Y8Y9QG - these are loving AMAZING and feel nearly identical to nothing at all. There's only 2 drawbacks... They're WAY more expensive (like $2 a condom) and have to be imported, and they don't work great if you're not super hard (as they are TIGHT). I'm also not sure if they'd work well on someone with a bigger dick than me. Anyway, they're my "special night" condom I use when we're both super horny and we want a treat. Rotten Red Rod fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 22:02
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Back in my pre-vasectomy days I was a big durex avanti (the non latex one) fan. They were a lot closer to skin on skin than the normal ones. Pricier though.
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Jun 26, 2014 22:46
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My wife and I were pretty boring, we never had a problem with using just a regular old Trojan lubricated condom. Felt fine and offered all the protection we needed, never had any sort of scare or slippage with them. I might have mentioned this upthread a bit, I'm average length but above-average girth so the standard size condoms tended to pinch really tight around the shaft. I used Magnums for a bit more comfort. Never had a problem with the length of those either. The only ones we ever hated were ones with the desensitizing gel. Those are dumb, don't ever buy them unless you like humping away and never getting off. Now that my year-long vasectomy journey is over we're taking full advantage of that but we still have a mostly-full box of them around for things like anal. They also seem to work just fine for that.
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Jun 26, 2014 23:56
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Techno Remix posted:My wife and I were pretty boring, we never had a problem with using just a regular old Trojan lubricated condom. Felt fine and offered all the protection we needed, never had any sort of scare or slippage with them. I might have mentioned this upthread a bit, I'm average length but above-average girth so the standard size condoms tended to pinch really tight around the shaft. I used Magnums for a bit more comfort. Never had a problem with the length of those either. The only ones we ever hated were ones with the desensitizing gel. Those are dumb, don't ever buy them unless you like humping away and never getting off. Forgive my stupidity, but why do you use a condom for anal sex with your wife?
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Jun 27, 2014 00:06
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There's hygiene concerns about doing it without. I wouldn't say it's strictly necessary to always wear one for butt stuff, but it's not really a bad idea.
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Jun 27, 2014 00:12
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KelJu posted:Forgive my stupidity, but why do you use a condom for anal sex with your wife? Really? Because that's where poop comes out.
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Jun 27, 2014 00:23
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Rotten Red Rod posted:So, a poll for the thread: what's your favorite condom? Guys, what brand strikes a good balance between pleasure and protection for you? Do different sizes of condoms actually matter? Do you notice when the condom comes off? A lot of girls say they don't feel much of a difference, but I really do. Sex without a condom is so much better. The dick feels warmer, you can feel that slightly soft on the outside/hard core thing erections have going on, you can feel the ridge a lot better... just so much more awesome. I also never have lubrication issues without a condom, and sometimes do with one, but that could just be that I'm less turned on, idk. Ridges - they feel weird, at best. At worst like someone is trying to cheesegrater my insides. If they had one that just enhanced a dick's natural ridge (or put a *smooth* ridge like an inch or so further down the shaft), that might be better. I've had good results from getting the ultra-thins (no particular brand) and making sure the guy has the right size on. Size is actually done by width not length, so my 6" boy was incredulous about the possibility that the reason condoms sucked for him was that he needed a larger size (he was also convinced he was tiny because he is pretty small when flaccid, which I am like who gives a gently caress what size it is when it's not in use). But, a larger size has really helped because he is pretty thick. Of course now we do the fluid bonded thing and bareback 24/7 ftw. I don't hate condoms enough that I will not use them when I play around, but mother gently caress those dick bags, seriously. Edit: Yeah, buttsex can give the dick-haver UTIs. Wrap that poo poo.
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Jun 27, 2014 00:23
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loki k zen posted:...so my 6" boy was incredulous about the possibility that the reason condoms sucked for him was that he needed a larger size (he was also convinced he was tiny because he is pretty small when flaccid, which I am like who gives a gently caress what size it is when it's not in use). You don't understand men and their dicks. Most of us would, if the option presented itself, have dicks far too large to actually have sex with. I don't know why, except to point and say in my best caveman voice "Biggest dick am best dick!"
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Jun 27, 2014 00:30
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hoobajoo posted:Really? Because that's where poop comes out. Haha, I am aware. It can be a little dirty sometimes, but for me, one of the best perks of being in a monogamous relationship is being able to go bareback without a condom without fear of STDs and such.
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Jun 27, 2014 01:23
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KelJu posted:Haha, I am aware. It can be a little dirty sometimes, but for me, one of the best perks of being in a monogamous relationship is being able to go bareback without a condom without fear of STDs and such. Well, you asked. Some people really, really don't want poop on their dick.
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Jun 27, 2014 01:27
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KelJu posted:Forgive my stupidity, but why do you use a condom for anal sex with your wife? No worries. It's basically like everyone else has said, it's nothing to do with the fear of STDs or other stuff. Even with all the proper spring cleaning you can do ahead of anal sex I still figure I'm sticking my dick somewhere that could wedge all that bacteria straight up my urethra. It's not even about the poo poo, I don't think, that's an unfortunate potential by-product of anal sex itself. Better safe than sorry, I guess. That's my perspective at least.
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Jun 27, 2014 01:52
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Rotten Red Rod posted:So, Tuesday's Savage Love started with a diatribe against this: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-galactic-cap I'm with you on the Crowns. They work well, are tight without pinching so they feel fine, and come in bulk from Amazon for really good prices.
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Jun 27, 2014 04:40
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Rotten Red Rod posted:Whatever brand you get, just keep re-applying when needed. Of course it's going to be frustrating if you feel the lube starting to go, and you think, "no, I don't want to put on more, I'll just power through it"... And then it just gets dryer and dryer, and soon you're not having fun at all. I 100% do the thing where I try to power through but that doesn't last more than a minute before I'm just pissing my clit off and working away from the grand finale. I'll look into some sample sizes of the pjur or something silicone based. The astro glide can dry up kinda fast sometimes so I'm applying like 3-4 times which is why I asked. Masonity posted:Back in my pre-vasectomy days I was a big durex avanti (the non latex one) fan. They were a lot closer to skin on skin than the normal ones. Pricier though. I used these before my IUD but that's cause they were literally our only option. I've got a latex allergy and the bf was too big for standard size. I had no problems with them though. They kept his stuff out of me, never broke, never slid off. I couldn't ask for more in a condom. If we use them now it's for butt stuff cause I don't want him bouncing between vaginal and anal without an intense cleaning/scrubbing session and that's just not sexy.
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Jun 27, 2014 05:29
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Techno Remix posted:No worries. It's basically like everyone else has said, it's nothing to do with the fear of STDs or other stuff. Even with all the proper spring cleaning you can do ahead of anal sex I still figure I'm sticking my dick somewhere that could wedge all that bacteria straight up my urethra. It's not even about the poo poo, I don't think, that's an unfortunate potential by-product of anal sex itself. Better safe than sorry, I guess. Fair enough.
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Jun 27, 2014 05:30
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CeramicPig posted:I 100% do the thing where I try to power through but that doesn't last more than a minute before I'm just pissing my clit off and working away from the grand finale. I'll look into some sample sizes of the pjur or something silicone based. The astro glide can dry up kinda fast sometimes so I'm applying like 3-4 times which is why I asked. I didn't realise avanti aren't normal size. Maybe that played into it too.
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Jun 27, 2014 08:03
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CeramicPig posted:I 100% do the thing where I try to power through but that doesn't last more than a minute before I'm just pissing my clit off and working away from the grand finale. I'll look into some sample sizes of the pjur or something silicone based. The astro glide can dry up kinda fast sometimes so I'm applying like 3-4 times which is why I asked. Yeah, don't do that. I've convinced myself it would ruin the mood to stop, but then when we actually did it, it felt SO much better that I'm almost immediately back to where I was, and enjoying it much more than before. We keep the lube right next to us with the cap off now. As for anal without condoms, we've never used them. If she's not totally cleared out down there, she won't be in the mood for anal anyway, so it's never been a problem. Although we do use condoms on our buttplugs - makes cleanup quite a bit easier. Rotten Red Rod fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Jun 27, 2014 |
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Jun 27, 2014 15:44
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I know the best answer is to see a doctor, which she already has an appointment for, but it's several weeks away still so was hoping for some insight in the meantime. Recently my girlfriend has been bleeding from penetrative sex. The first time we had sex I noticed some brown... something on the pillow that was under her, but didn't really know what it was and didn't want to embarrass her by bringing it up since I didn't think it was a big deal, maybe she'd just finished her period recently, or something. Recently, however, there's been red blood shortly after we begin having sex. She understandably freaked out after the first time, we waited a couple weeks, then we tried again with the same result. She's very short and small (like 5'1 - not sure if this could play a part) and despite her always being wet when we begin she always experiences some discomfort or pain when I first enter her. I almost always go down on her and get her off at least once before we even begin having sex so I'm pretty confident it's not a matter of arousal. Most of this information leads me to believe she's getting some type of small tear or something, but she said she's never experienced this before. My dick is pretty decent sized but not some huge 8 incher or anything, so I don't know if I buy that the reason she hasn't experienced before is that my dick is that much bigger than anyone else shes had sex with. Even if it is a matter of tearing, how can this be avoided if she's already turned on and wet? Use lube on top of it? Gently finger her first? And does anyone have any experience with this and have any other ideas what could be the cause?
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Jun 27, 2014 18:44
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MyStereoHasMono posted:Most of this information leads me to believe she's getting some type of small tear or something, but she said she's never experienced this before. My dick is pretty decent sized but not some huge 8 incher or anything, so I don't know if I buy that the reason she hasn't experienced before is that my dick is that much bigger than anyone else shes had sex with. Vaginas are made to fit a baby through. Even if you had a monster dick you're probably not going to cause tearing. Could be an infection. Stop having sex until she sees a gynecologist.
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Jun 27, 2014 19:08
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There are a lot of weird things that can cause bleeding/weird discharge and its definitely worth seeing a doctor/gynecologist to make sure its nothing serious. What kind of birth control is she on? I know when I was on depo provera I'd get light but visibly present discharge for weeks at a time that was red or brown in lieu of regular periods. It was kind of gross.
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Jun 27, 2014 19:10
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She's not on any birth control. She also said she hasn't experienced irregular bleeding other than when we had sex, but that there was light bleeding for a day or two after.
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Jun 27, 2014 19:13
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I think it's not weird especially if it's rough or if there's a size mismatch. Hopefully you know this, but the whole month, uterine lining builds up. A period is when it's all shed and it comes out at once, but there's always some up there. Keep whacking the uterus like a piņata, and you might get some surprises. You think it's a tear of the vagina, but she thinks it's menstrual blood (coming through the cervix), right? It can't hurt for a doctor to check it out, but she shouldn't worry in the meantime. Until then, yeah, just get her super turned on, do some gentle fingering, work up gradually.
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Jun 27, 2014 19:30
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Condom talk: My partner and I use Skyn, as he is allergic to latex. I love them so much better than the Trojan and Durex condoms I've used before. I think they're about the same as latex condoms in terms of price, and sometimes you can find the "get 6 extra free!" packs for the same price as the 24. Seconding the condoms for anal and toys advice; it just makes clean up that much more simple. If you're worried about "wasting" your special condoms on toys, just get cheapie ones (as long as your partner won't have a reaction to them) for toy use only. Also more lube chat: Get a fancy hand soap dispenser and put your lube in it. It makes getting the lube out so much easier (pump rather than fumbling with a cap), and it is oh so classy.
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Jun 28, 2014 01:36
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Skyn is my favorite too (there's definitely a difference), but buying them in the drugstore/etc. is way pricier than normal condoms. Buy them online at condomdepot.com.
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Jun 28, 2014 01:43
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