Sash! posted:

Hey you, guy that spreads pine bark at Lebron's house, what INSIDER KNOWLEDGE do you have????!?!

Groucho Marxist posted:

Magary's lovely take was enhanced by him linking his take on The Decision, which was even worse.

Crion posted:

Drew Magary is essentially an op-ed guy for Deadspin, there's nothing inconsistent at all about him having a different take on the Lebron situation than another Deadspin staffer and the site running them both side by side. That's completely aside from the quality of the opinions expressed, of course.

Crion posted:

Drew Magary really is the Frustrated White Dad Sports Columnist for the modern era, which is something we really need in sportswriting at all times I guess.

MourningView posted:

Magary's take was really stupid though so you can still make fun of that part.

e: gently caress you and your ninja edit, Crion

Crazy Ted posted:

I'm amazed Magary hasn't had the living poo poo beaten out of him. Someone who writes like that can't be a nice, normal person in real life.

Politicalrancor posted:

Magary seems like a dick but he's no AJ Daulerio

Crazy Ted posted:

Wasn't Daulerio in a relationship with a woman who's addicted to about 38 different drugs? It wouldn't surprise me if he was.

Also, I sometimes think, and have a suspicion, that Drew Magary and Hamilton Nolan are the same person.

zakharov posted:

Here's an actual pro-read piece of journalism: "The Many Crimes of Mel Hall"

http://www.sbnation.com/2014/7/15/5...One--The-Player

Trigger warnings ahoy.

zakharov posted:

I confess to enjoying about 75% of the average Magary mailbag, maybe because the format prevents him from writing more than 1-2 paragraphs on a topic. I cannot believe his "Why Your Team Sucks" series is still a thing, though.

zakharov posted:

I cannot believe his "Why Your Team Sucks" series is still a thing, though.

TL posted:

Why Your Team Sucks is entirely redeemed by the one Lions fan completely losing his poo poo in it from last year.

AceFace905 posted:

Zodiac Motherfucker is always like this. Makes me proud to be an ex-Detroiter*

quote:

THE ONLY loving TIME MY OLD MAN EVER EXPRESSES ANY HOPE OR OPTIMISM IS WHEN FOOTBALL SEASON APPROACHES. “HEY THEYRE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD THIS YEAR. WHO KNOWS?” WHO KNOWS? I loving KNOW AND IVE ONLY BEEN WATCHING THIS loving TEAM HALF AS LONG AS HE HAS. SIX WEEKS INTO THE SEASON THOUGH HE FINALLY GETS IT. THE LIONS DO SOME DUMB poo poo AND HES BACK TO HIS POSTGAME RITUAL OF TRASHING THE PLACE IN A MOTHERFUCKING RAGE AND GOING TO BED AT 5PM

POPS ONCE TOLD ME WITH AN INFUCKINGEXPRESSABLY SAD SERIOUSNESS “I WONT REST IN PEACE UNTIL THE LIONS WIN A SUPER BOWL. I MAY BE DEAD WHEN IT HAPPENS BUT WHEN THEY WIN ONE I’LL KNOW.” SERIOUSLY HE TOLD ME THAT poo poo ONCE. AND THATS WHY I WILL DESPISE MATT MILLEN UNTIL MY DYING BREATH. MATT MILLEN STOLE EIGHT YEARS FROM MY FATHER. EIGHT LONG YEARS. AND IF I EVER SEE THAT EMIL MUZZ LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER I’M GONNA COLLECT THAT DEBT TO THE loving SECOND

loving LIONS. A TEAM SO loving lovely THAT IT MADE AN ARMY FIRST LIEUTENANT SAY gently caress IT I QUIT. WE LEVERAGE LEAGUE LEADERS INTO LOSING SEASONS AND ALLTIME GREATS INTO TOTAL MEDIOCRITY. WE REFLECT OUR CITY’S DYSFUNCTION MISMANAGEMENT MISERY AND PIGHEADED STUPIDITY LIKE A loving MIRROR AND WE ALWAYS KID OURSELVES THAT IT’S SOMEHOW GETTING BETTER. SQUEAKY FROMME WASNT AS DELUDED AS WE ARE

THIS IS A TEAM WITH A CULTURE SO hosed UP THAT ONE OF THE BEST OFFENSIVE LINEMEN IN OUR TEAM HISTORY PROUDLY DECLARED THAT HE REPEATEDLY LET HIS QB GET DEMOLISHED BECAUSE HE DIDNT LIKE THE GUY. AND THIS WAS BACK WHEN WE ACTUALLY MADE THE loving PLAYOFFS ON A REGULAR BASIS IF YOUR IMAGINATION CAN CONJURE SUCH A CIRCUMSTANCE. THAT’S OUR LIONS: EVEN WHEN THEYRE FLAILING ON THE CUSP OF GREATNESS THEY STILL FIND TIME TO BACKBITE AND FUMBLEFUCK AROUND. WHATEVER IT TAKES TO gently caress UP AND LET EVERYBODY DOWN.

DRAFT PICKS BURNED LIKE AUTUMN LEAVES. CHARLES ROGERS CAPS HIS 12-GAME PROFESSIONAL CAREER BY THREATENING TO MURDER HIS MOTHER AND PASSING OUT IN HIS BOOTH AT ON THE BORDER IN NOVI LIKE A loving WINO. MIKE WILLIAMS SPENDS TWO YEARS FATTING AROUND IN DETROIT BEFORE GETTING FOLDED INTO A DOGSHIT TRADE WITH OAKLAND THAT ILLUSTRATED THE CONCEPT OF SUNK COST BETTER THAN ANY ECONOMICS TEXTBOOK EVER loving COULD.

AND ALL THE WHILE WERE DICKING AROUND WITH THESE LOSERS ANDRE JOHNSON AND DEMARCUS WARE ARE DOWN IN TEXAS RACKING UP ALLPRO HONORS LIKE REGGIE ROGERS RACKS UP VEHICULAR HOMICIDES AND BEN ROETHLISBERGER IS THE ALL-SEEING ALL-RAPING RINGBEARING FOOTBALL GOD OF YINZERLAND. THE MIND REELS

EVEN THE GOOD PICKS ARE WASTED IN THAT SPECIAL DETROIT WAY. MATTHEW STAFFORD? SURE THE loving GUY LOOKS LIKE HE SHOULD BE OUT LOOKING FOR ONE EYED WILLIE’S TREASURE BUT THE FACT IS HE’S THE FIRST LIONS QUARTERBACK IN DECADES THATS WORTH A BENT DICK AND YET SOMEHOW AFTER FOUR YEARS IN THE LEAGUE AND A COUPLE SEASONS OF MONSTER STATS AND A PLAYOFF APPEARANCE HIS CAREER HIGHLIGHT REMAINS THAT TIME IN HIS ROOKIE YEAR WHEN HE PEELED HIMSELF OFF THE FIELD TO GET THE WIN IN A SHOOTOUT WITH BRADY loving QUINN OF ALL loving CLIPBOARD STANDS. IT WAS A FEAT OF HEROISM SO BOLD AND SO MEANINGLESS IT WAS LIKE RUNNING INTO A BURNING BUILDING TO SAVE A GOLDFISH. WE WENT 2-14 THAT YEAR AND WE STILL TALK ABOUT THAT GAME LIKE IT WAS OUR PERSONAL loving SEA OF HANDS.

COACHES COME TO DETROIT TO loving DIE AND OFTEN RIGHTLY SO. THAT loving IMBECILE MARTY MORNHINWEG FOR INSTANCE. loving GUY WINNING THE COIN TOSS THEN STUPEFUCKINGFYINGLY GIVING THE MOTHERFUCKING BALL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING loving BEARS WHO OF COURSE PROMPTLY SCORE. HE SHOULDVE BEEN COURT-MARTIALED AND EXECUTED RIGHT THEN AND loving THERE. EITHER THEN OR THAT TIME HE MADE SOME BIG PRODUCTION OF ROARING OUT OF PRACTICE ON HIS HARLEY LIKE HE WAS CLAY loving MORROW AND NOT SOME OVERPROMOTED DIPSHIT WITH NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER MANNING THE CAPTAINS WHEEL. I CAN SCARCELY DREAM UP A MORE FITTING HELL FOR AN rear end in a top hat LIKE THAT THAN BEING TASKED WITH UNTANGLING THE LOW RENT QUARTERBACK CLUSTERFUCK IN THE JETS CAMP

THEN IT WAS STEVE MARIUCCI. THE MITT ROMNEY OF NFL COACHES. THAT BLAND WEATHERMAN VENEER OF COMPETENCE WITH THE UNMISTAKABLE AIR OF A MAN WHO WOULD RATHER BE ANYFUCKINGPLACE ELSE. DUDE ONLY CAME TO DETROIT AS A FAVOR TO HIS FAT STUPID FRIEND WHO WAS TOO loving DUMB TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS HIMSELF. KINDA LIKE NED STARK. TURNED OUT ABOUT THE SAME WAY FOR HIM TOO

AFTER THAT WAS MARINELLI BRINGING THE KIND OF DARK ARITHMETIC THAT TRANSFORMS 6-2 TO 7-9 TO 0-16. NOW ITS COACH SCHWARTZ SWIRLING DOWN THE DRAIN. HE TAKES HIS FASHION CUES FROM THE DOG WHISPERER AND ALL HE THINKS ABOUT ON GAMEDAY IS WHETHER HE SHOULD LISTEN TO BILLY SQUIER OR THE loving SCORPIONS. BUT AT LEAST HIS HEART’S IN IT. AND THAT PASSIONS GONNA SERVE HIM WELL IN A YEAR AFTER HES SCORED THAT PLUM ASSISTANT DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR GIG WITH THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS.

THESE ARE THE DETROIT loving LIONS WERE TALKING ABOUT. EVEN IF IT’S THE BEST CASE SCENARIO EVEN IF MY EVERY LAST loving ROCKHARD REGULAR SEASON FANTASY COMES TRUE IN THE END SOMEHOW THEY WILL UNDO IT ALL.

BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO THE DETROIT LIONS THERE IS NO FAIRY TALE. ITS ALL JUST A BIG JERKOFF. A SADISTIC loving TORTURE GAME PUT ON FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF MILLIONAIRES WITH MISTER RICTUS HIMSELF WILLIAM CLAY loving FORD SENIOR PULLING THE STRINGS. HA HA MADE YA CARE!

UGH. loving LIONS.

Deathlove posted:

Looks like Neyer's getting his own long-form-type site - http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/get-ready-for-just-a-bit-outside-foxsports-com-s-new-baseball-destination-071514

God, that Fox Sports site is loving unreadable.

LARGE THE HEAD posted:

LARGE THE HEAD posted:

Here's the full text. It's a goddamn masterpiece:

zakharov posted:

Here's an actual pro-read piece of journalism: "The Many Crimes of Mel Hall"

http://www.sbnation.com/2014/7/15/5...One--The-Player

Trigger warnings ahoy.

zakharov posted:

Here's an actual pro-read piece of journalism: "The Many Crimes of Mel Hall"

http://www.sbnation.com/2014/7/15/5...One--The-Player

Trigger warnings ahoy.

quote:

The Sox have a chance to finish in last place for the second time in three years, win a playoff game in only one of six seasons, and still be perceived by their fans as “perennial contenders.’’

hcreight posted:

Reminder: the best way to fight back against Shaugnessy is to not click on that link. We know what he is doing. He knows what he is doing. The Globe knows what he is doing. Don't support him by giving his columns web traffic.

noted dickfuck Dan Shaughnessy posted:

US soccer star Tim Howard did not play goalie for his New Jersey High school team in his final season. Already established as the best goalie in the nation for the under-17 national team, Howard wanted to be a midfielder in his final high school season and the coach was OK with it. When the state final went to penalty kicks, Howard insisted that the regular goalie stay in net. Howard’s team lost, but it was a lesson learned in backing your teammates. Hope he can cash in on his World Cup performance.

FlamingLiberal posted:

So who is going to take the fall in the Boston media this time now that Beckett isn't there