Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Do over Ham posted:

They warned me Satan would be attractive. :devil:

I wanted to kill the world's greatest lover.... but there are laws against suicide :smug:

Genius at Work posted:

But surely there are also laws against murder too!
______________________/

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

Do over Ham posted:

They warned me Satan would be attractive. :devil:

Say your prayers Simpson! Cause the schools can't make you like they should.

twerking on the railroad
Jun 23, 2007

Get on my level

gingerberger posted:

Say your prayers Simpson! Cause the schools can't make you like they should.

That sounds like a prayer!

A prayer in a public school....

God has no place within these walls!

Just as facts have no place within organized religion!

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Jerusalem posted:

I wanted to kill the world's greatest lover.... but there are laws against suicide :smug:

No wonder I didn't hear about Jerusalem being elected world's greatest sex machine.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

After The War posted:

And while MondayHotDog plays rock music on a stolen guitar, PTA6 has the "munchies" for a California Cheeseburger!



Well, I've got news for you: I just got promoted, and it's all thanks to Yes-I-Cannabis!













We have a kitchen???

Jorghnassen
Oct 1, 2007
Glouton des fjords
Wow, I had mustard? :confused:

twerking on the railroad
Jun 23, 2007

Get on my level

Jorghnassen posted:

Wow, I had mustard? :confused:

I made a movie?

I guess that's why I'm on the front page of entertainment weakly!

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

Skeesix posted:

I made a movie?

I guess that's why I'm on the front page of entertainment weakly!

Schindler es bueno, señor burns es el diablo...

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 27, 2007

organize digital employees



Crackerman
Jun 23, 2005

Sit perfectly still! Only I may dance.

Drink-Mix Man
Mar 4, 2003

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Jorghnassen posted:

Wow, I had mustard? :confused:

This is Armin's apartment, Armin's mustard, Armin's copy of "Swank", Armin's frozen peas.

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

Wooza waza? Is that what passes for comedy these days?

Red
Apr 15, 2003

Yeah, great at getting us into Wawa.

PT6A posted:

Well, I've got news for you: I just got promoted, and it's all thanks to Yes-I-Cannabis!













We have a kitchen???

Start inhalin', Waylon. :smith:

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Drink-Mix Man posted:

This is Armin's apartment, Armin's mustard, Armin's copy of "Swank", Armin's frozen peas.

Can I see your copy of "Swank", Armin?

Moneypenny Dreadful
Jan 24, 2008

demon secretary

TMMadman posted:

Can I see your copy of "Swank", Armin?

How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year?

Oh, by the way, here is your new issue of "Gigantic Asses."

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Yeah, uh, give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields... and some illegal fireworks... and one of those disposable enemas.

Eh, make it two.

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

Luigi Thirty posted:

Yeah, uh, give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields... and some illegal fireworks... and one of those disposable enemas.

Eh, make it two.

Celebrate your countries independence by blowing up a small part of it

Jorghnassen
Oct 1, 2007
Glouton des fjords

gingerberger posted:

Celebrate your countries independence by blowing up a small part of it

Mr. Vice President! Someone finally bought a copy of your book, sir.

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

Jorghnassen posted:

Mr. Vice President! Someone finally bought a copy of your book, sir.

Maybe they're all reverse vampires and have to get home before dark...

Tokelau All Star
Feb 23, 2008

THE TAXES! THE FINGER THING MEANS THE TAXES!



And this guy is the head of the Spaceology Department of the Correspondence College of Tampa!

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

Tokelau All Star posted:



And this guy is the head of the Spaceology Department of the Correspondence College of Tampa!

Homer when I met you you weren't an astronaut; you didn't even know how to use a touchtone. But I still respected you and I always will no matter what [beep boop boop] Homer you already dialed.

Monday_
Feb 18, 2006

Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.
The Great Twist

gingerberger posted:

Homer when I met you you weren't an astronaut; you didn't even know how to use a touchtone. But I still respected you and I always will no matter what [beep boop boop] Homer you already dialed.

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

MondayHotDog posted:

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

I don't want to look like a weirdo... Just give me a muumuu

CatchrNdRy
Mar 15, 2005

Receiver of the Rye.


DIE YOU CHALK FACED GOONS

RIP Johnny Winter

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

CatchrNdRy posted:



DIE YOU CHALK FACED GOONS

RIP Johnny Winter

Hello St. Louis!

IMJack
Apr 16, 2003

Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.


Fun Shoe

gingerberger posted:

Hello St. Louis!

Good night, Springton. There will be no encores.

Drink-Mix Man
Mar 4, 2003

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Have the Rolling Stones killed.

IMJack
Apr 16, 2003

Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.


Fun Shoe
Who here likes the Doobie Brothers? Because we've got one of 'em!

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

IMJack posted:

Who here likes the Doobie Brothers? Because we've got one of 'em!



Get help love. Call Interpol, get me a hacksaw, anything!

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

gingerberger posted:

Hello St. Louis!

East St. Louis?

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

TMMadman posted:

East St. Louis?

Where the monorail is king!

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

Luigi Thirty posted:

Where the monorail is king!

...sorry mom the mob has spoken!

Drink-Mix Man
Mar 4, 2003

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

IMJack posted:

Who here likes the Doobie Brothers? Because we've got one of 'em!



I thought we were Quiet Riot? :confused:

jscolon2.0
Jul 9, 2001

With great payroll, comes great disappointment.
I'm in the middle of a break of a day long interview. Give me some Simpsony encouragement.

Red
Apr 15, 2003

Yeah, great at getting us into Wawa.

Drink-Mix Man posted:

I thought we were Quiet Riot? :confused:

We need a ride home! :rock:

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

jscolon2.0 posted:

I'm in the middle of a break of a day long interview. Give me some Simpsony encouragement.

Your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead.

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

jscolon2.0 posted:

I'm in the middle of a break of a day long interview. Give me some Simpsony encouragement.

I've got to find a replacement that won't outshine me. Perhaps if I searched the employee evaluations for the word "Incompetent"...

714 matches found

714 names? Better be more specific. "lazy", "clumsy", "dim-witted", "monstrously ugly"...

714 matches found

Oh, nuts to this! I'll just go get jscolon2.0

BloodDesk UnderHell
Sep 24, 2007

Wow! He licks good boot!

jscolon2.0 posted:

I'm in the middle of a break of a day long interview. Give me some Simpsony encouragement.

:geno: There, there. There, there.

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

jscolon2.0 posted:

I'm in the middle of a break of a day long interview. Give me some Simpsony encouragement.

Now, we need code names. I'll be Cue-Ball, Skinner can be Eight-Ball, Barney will be Twelve-Ball, and Moe, you can be Cue-Ball.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Everything Counts
Oct 10, 2012

Don't "shhh!" me, you rich bastard!

jscolon2.0 posted:

I'm in the middle of a break of a day long interview. Give me some Simpsony encouragement.

Now jscolon, remember: if something goes wrong in the interview, blame the guy who doesn't speak English.

Ahh, IMJack. How many times have you saved my butt?

Good luck!

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply