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In Spirited Away, I can't even tell you what happens because it's an incomprehensible piece of garbage that is inexplicably critically acclaimed. Also, it's anime, so watching it makes you a big gay baby.
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Jul 18, 2014 04:44
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Spoilers for marvel cinematic universe movis: there is no interlinking plot. In every film there bad guy, bad guy beat
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Jul 18, 2014 04:46
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PostNouveau posted:In Spirited Away, I can't even tell you what happens because it's an incomprehensible piece of garbage that is inexplicably critically acclaimed. You're fat. Like just a big ol fat sack of garbage water.
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Jul 18, 2014 04:52
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In Killing Season John Travolta is the worst loving actor holy poo poo. By the end of the movie your suspicion that the movie would have been better had its dialogue been replaced by wet fart noises is confirmed. Less entertaining than two hours of russian car crash videos.
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Jul 18, 2014 05:13
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PostNouveau posted:In Spirited Away, I can't even tell you what happens because it's an incomprehensible piece of garbage that is inexplicably critically acclaimed. i lik e you
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Jul 20, 2014 15:23
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transformers: a few minutes in the cool car turns out to be some dumb and gay robot in disguise
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Jul 20, 2014 15:33
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In Falling Down : Angry man walks to venice beach. In Transformers : You can't see poo poo. In Indiana Jones And the Crysal Skulls :Hans Solo finally goes to space. In Terminator Salvation : I am not sure what happened. Matrix Revolution : I saw it once in the theater and I don't give a poo poo what happens. Also Computer Jesus, resets and power loaders from Aliens shoot down flying mechnical sperms. Tim Burton's Batman : Batman is a dick to villians. Star Wars : The Phantom Menace : Something something about space politics; space jesus trys spinning, Jedi knight kills opponent with low ground. Attack of the Clones : Worst than Phantom Menace Revenges of the Sith : Introducing new bad guys without actually introducing them unless you read the E.U. books and comics and video games because gently caress YOU, that's why. Also whiny teenager kills children, falls into lava after losing the high ground, then ruins role of iconic villian in the history of cinema. Clone War tv series : George Lucas fell asleep, Star Wars is actually awesome and dark. Power Rangers The movie : A lot of fightings, music , bad puns and bad CGI. WTF the movie was awesome when I was a kid! Hingehead fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Jul 20, 2014 |
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Jul 20, 2014 19:16
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Ootrek posted:In Citizen Kane white people stare at cameras Rosebud is his sled! It's a metaphor for him longing for the simple joys of his childhood! I have now saved you 2 hours of your life. You're welcome.
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Jul 20, 2014 19:17
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Pacific Rim: You sit through an hour of training montages and your reward is trying to watch two giant robots fight in the dark and underwater
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Jul 20, 2014 19:20
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EVERY QUENTIN TARANTINO MOVIE EVER: A whole bunch of seriously hosed-up violent poo poo happens. There's a bunch of really bad people and a fuckload of swearing. The end.
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Jul 20, 2014 19:20
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In Trapped in the Closet, everybody gets loving AIDS. No I'm not joking. Patient Zero was the dude loving the preacher.
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Jul 20, 2014 19:40
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In Road House, Patrick Swayze rips a guy's throat out In Funny People, no people were funny
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Jul 20, 2014 20:21
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In Lost in Translation rich bored people are boring.
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Jul 21, 2014 02:42
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In Tammy, the main character turns out to be fat.
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Jul 21, 2014 03:02
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In the purge white people get kiled by other white people and some message is meant to be given but really its just a lovely movie with a really bad idea and a really bad plot. The second is pretty much the same but takes place in the city and a bunch of rich white people laugh n poo poo cause, "Haha poors we can do what we want with them we have money." Also what kind of idiot goes out on the night of a purge? Why don't people go on vacation aka out of country on these nights?
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Jul 21, 2014 03:19
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in Shallow Hal we learn a valuable lesson about fatshaming
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Jul 21, 2014 03:22
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in A Million Ways to Die in the West seth macfarlane shoots liam neeson with a poison bullet and neil patrick harris shits himself
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Jul 21, 2014 03:48
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in Freddy Got Fingered, freddy gets fingered
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Jul 21, 2014 04:00
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in "salad tossing mammas 13" there are older women who give men rimjobs and the guy cums at the end
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Jul 21, 2014 17:30
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In every Tim Burton film, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter dress up in black and white stripes, and the same soundtrack plays in the background.
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Jul 21, 2014 17:37
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which movies that i didnt see it yet
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Jul 21, 2014 17:38
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In The Virgin Suicides OP kills himself.
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Jul 21, 2014 17:43
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In The Barbershop 2 literally nothing happens at the end. None of the conflict they're suffering through has any bearing on the ending whatsoever because despite this corporate chain barbershop opening up across the street they still get a ton of business so everything up until then meant absolutely nothing.
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Jul 21, 2014 19:57
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In Transformers: Age of Extinction there are no dinosaurs until the last ten or so minutes and Marky-Mark kills a Transformer.
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Jul 21, 2014 20:25
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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is the story of an ape who wanted to be bros with humans but whose ape bro fucks it all up so that instead the apes heroically stand on a building waiting for jet planes to blow their asses up while the humans escape the soon-to-be blowed the gently caress up city.
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Jul 21, 2014 21:28
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In Snowpiercer, people live in a train and eat babies. And the only good parts were with Tilda Swinton. The rest of it was a giant pile of poo poo. Also the only surviving members of humanity are eaten by a polar bear. Because gently caress this movie, that's why.
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Jul 22, 2014 01:45
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in being john malkovich some people get to be john malkovich for 15 minutes but it turns out john cusacks wife is a tranny
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Jul 22, 2014 02:06
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buteruc posted:In Snowpiercer, people live in a train and eat babies. And the only good parts were with Tilda Swinton. The rest of it was a giant pile of poo poo. you forgot the train crashes and like 99% of everyone dies except an asian chick and the little gay black kid, then they get eaten by a polar bear, or freeze to death
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Jul 22, 2014 02:09
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Every Adam Sandler movie ever: Adam Sandler acts like a complete dickhead for the entire movie and earns more money than you'll ever make in your entire life. And that fact will drive you to drink.
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Jul 22, 2014 02:34
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Xaris posted:you forgot the train crashes and like 99% of everyone dies except an asian chick and the little gay black kid, then they get eaten by a polar bear, or freeze to death Ummmmmm I said polar bear. Best part. Share a Coke with the polar bear. Also how did the whole train not just freeze to death after the huge gun fight. Also how did the bullets work between the trains when there was wind and poo poo. What a weird loving movie.
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Jul 22, 2014 02:41
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In Life of Pi it turns out that being delusional and willfully ignorant of reality is somehow better than accepting it. In Amour a guy chases a pigeon then kills his wife. These are literally the only two things that happen and the movie feels like it's 4 hours long.
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Jul 22, 2014 03:12
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in there will be blood he beomces an old man and kills the priest
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Jul 22, 2014 10:03
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In Jaw 6 jaws eats the empire state building
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Jul 24, 2014 09:50
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In The Human Stain he is black In The Prestige David Bowie builds a cloning machine In The Big Lebowski Donnie shuts up
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Jul 24, 2014 16:44
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Mildred Pierce: The Wrong Kid Died
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Jul 25, 2014 14:54
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Repentance: Forest Whitaker overcomes his dead wife issues after torturing a self-help author and convincing him to kill himself. The self-help author, after being tortured about letting his brother go to jail, actually says "we're dead...spiritually" right before he blows his brains out.
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Jul 25, 2014 17:51
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In Back to the Future there is a man named Scott. He is great.
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Jul 25, 2014 19:46
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Buck Turgidson posted:Less entertaining than two hours of russian car crash videos. to be fair almost everything is less entertaining than watching russians (the scariest white people) crash their cars into other cars
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Jul 25, 2014 19:54
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In planet of the apes there is a talking monkey that drives a tank it's seriously loving retarded
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Jul 28, 2014 10:12
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In X-Men days of future past, they all go back in time and all the horrible things never happened and everyone's alive again. Pretty much the worst plot device in history.
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Jul 28, 2014 11:35
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