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An Cat Dubh posted:momtartin, do you know if she's waking up at the same time in the morning when she stays with you as she does every other day? Naptime for my son has to get pushed back if he wakes up later then usual in the morning. As far as I know she's actually waking up around the same time. I guess I'll just have to start being more strict and consistent and expecting a later nap time.
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Jul 20, 2014 22:47
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momtartin posted:Being a hard rear end makes sense but if she's running around jibber jabbering around normal nap time, there's no way in getting her down because she's obviously not tired. Or should I just put her in her crib and deal with the inevitable tears forcing her to take a nap? She will sleep at some point though, just not when she normally does.
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Jul 21, 2014 03:53
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Konomex posted:Seconding the 'they can understand words but not say them'. With my daughter I taught her to point pretty early, sometimes that didn't work so I'd pick her up and move her around until she'd make noise and reach out. Like a baby metal detector or something, never had a tantrum with that method. Haha, I've done that too. Works well when she wants a specific object, but not when she wants something more abstract.
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Jul 21, 2014 09:18
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momtartin posted:As far as I know she's actually waking up around the same time. I guess I'll just have to start being more strict and consistent and expecting a later nap time. Little kids are like dogs. They need consistency. I'm sure other parents in this thread will agree, if your kid has a schedule, and gets off schedule, oh the holy hell you will pay for going off schedule. I used to love to sleep in on the weekends, but it throws a wrench into the entire households schedule, makes for a miserable weekend, and a terrible Monday. Keep it consistent. If the kid takes a nap at 3PM, put them down at 3PM every day. If they nap for 2 hours get them up at 5.. don't let them sleep until 6. You'll be tired at 11PM wondering why you're fighting with a 2 year old who doesn't want to go to bed. We usually get up around 7:30 AM, even on the weekend we're up by 8 now or by god there is holy hell to pay for the rest of the day. If we let the kids sleep in, they're up at 10:30 or 11, they miss their nap, and the hours between 6:30 and 9PM turn into literal hell on earth from tiredness and crankiness. (I realize my household runs on a later time schedule than most. We don't work until 9AM) My kids love to tell me they're not tired... no nap daddy, I don't wanna go to sleep. I tell them to go ahead and lay in bed and rest their eyes for a while... every single time they go to sleep. You can't trust a toddler, they will fall asleep standing up before they admit they are tired.
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Jul 21, 2014 18:13
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/\/\ Truth. Routine, routine, routine. And usually the more wound up and crazed a toddler is acting, the more tired they actually are.
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Jul 21, 2014 19:51
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Anyone have experience with potty-training-related constipation? Our 2.5 yr old just last week turned the corner in terms of asking to use the toilet, and now, just a week later he's entering his 4th day without having pooped at all. Obviously we will get some laxatives but the wife and I disagree as usual on the attitude we take toward this problem, i.e. she is already thinking of "long term" consequences like how he's never going to poo poo again without the help of laxatives, whereas I figure this is just a local problem, he will be encouraged by (without understanding it as such) the help of the laxatives and then we just don't mention the potty again for a while and things will go back to normal.
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Jul 22, 2014 01:27
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/\/\ This was my oldest son. I called my ped, and the nurse said it is so common I was her third call just that day about it--and that they can make it 7 days before it's cause to worry. Can you imagine?! She said to give him a little bit of Miralax (look up a weight/dose chart; I don't remember how much it was) every other day to help things along. He held out 5 days one time.  But we got through it, and he got over it.
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Jul 22, 2014 01:42
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My 5 year old still holds her poop 3-4 days on average unless I fill her full of ruffage and prunes. Doc always says it's no biggie, teachers say no biggie. Daddy hates it so much.
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Jul 22, 2014 02:51
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LordingBarry posted:Anyone have experience with potty-training-related constipation? Our 2.5 yr old just last week turned the corner in terms of asking to use the toilet, and now, just a week later he's entering his 4th day without having pooped at all. Obviously we will get some laxatives but the wife and I disagree as usual on the attitude we take toward this problem, i.e. she is already thinking of "long term" consequences like how he's never going to poo poo again without the help of laxatives, whereas I figure this is just a local problem, he will be encouraged by (without understanding it as such) the help of the laxatives and then we just don't mention the potty again for a while and things will go back to normal. annecdotally, a friend had a problem with his toddler that he had a bad poop experience and decided that pooping hurt, so he held it at all costs. They had to force feed him laxitives because he would hold it more than a week, it was a rough patch but he basically got over it once he was medicated to go anyway. It was freaky, he used to lay on the floor and tense his legs up straight out holding it in, made you feel bad for the little dude. If your kid isn't at that point of visibly straining to hold it, it most likely isn't an issue.
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Jul 22, 2014 04:14
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jassi007 posted:annecdotally, a friend had a problem with his toddler that he had a bad poop experience and decided that pooping hurt, so he held it at all costs. They had to force feed him laxitives because he would hold it more than a week, it was a rough patch but he basically got over it once he was medicated to go anyway. It was freaky, he used to lay on the floor and tense his legs up straight out holding it in, made you feel bad for the little dude. If your kid isn't at that point of visibly straining to hold it, it most likely isn't an issue. 
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Jul 22, 2014 07:34
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jassi007 posted:annecdotally, a friend had a problem with his toddler that he had a bad poop experience and decided that pooping hurt, so he held it at all costs. They had to force feed him laxitives because he would hold it more than a week, it was a rough patch but he basically got over it once he was medicated to go anyway. It was freaky, he used to lay on the floor and tense his legs up straight out holding it in, made you feel bad for the little dude. If your kid isn't at that point of visibly straining to hold it, it most likely isn't an issue. Yeeeeeep. My son is autistic, and has that issue due to bathroom trauma. It is a super common problem with kids on the spectrum, and partly why he is still not fully potty trained at 10, also not uncommon. He had massive gastrointestinal issues during his toddler years, basically cycling constipation and diarrhea constantly. So now going to the bathroom is a pretty terrifying prospect for him, because it was super painful for him during that time. We're still working through it.
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Jul 22, 2014 08:03
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My toddler LOVES eating my fiber cereal and fiber bars. Yeah....
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Jul 22, 2014 13:15
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Its kind of a catch 22 from the point of view of toddler logic. If you hold your poop in it will be big and it will hurt when it comes out. Then since it hurts, you don't want to poop ever again so you hold it in. My nephew had this problem, I hope my son doesn't. On a completely unrelated topic, my 13 month old is now in phase where he hides everything, especially his sippys and especially remote controls. It has a benefit though, he puts his toys away in their box to hide them, so the place stays cleaner.
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Jul 22, 2014 13:31
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My wife and I adopted a newborn late last month so I'll be checking out this thread more often. Just starting to sleep through the night (well, 6 hours or so) now that he's 1 month. He's been a great baby and we can't wait to watch him grow up. Newborn:  1 month: 
Thwomp fucked around with this message at 15:16 on Jul 22, 2014 |
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Jul 22, 2014 15:12
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Congratulations on adopting! It's a wonderful gift for everyone all around: yourselves, the child, society.
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Jul 22, 2014 16:15
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LordingBarry posted:Anyone have experience with potty-training-related constipation? Our 2.5 yr old just last week turned the corner in terms of asking to use the toilet, and now, just a week later he's entering his 4th day without having pooped at all. Obviously we will get some laxatives but the wife and I disagree as usual on the attitude we take toward this problem, i.e. she is already thinking of "long term" consequences like how he's never going to poo poo again without the help of laxatives, whereas I figure this is just a local problem, he will be encouraged by (without understanding it as such) the help of the laxatives and then we just don't mention the potty again for a while and things will go back to normal. Just providing an update, for the poop-curious, on the above post. After 3.5 days of steadfastly refusing either to "use the potty" or "go in [his] diaper," our child this morning, by means of my wife's incredibly subtle and persistent coaxing, to sit down on his potty and "break the seal" (if you will). It took her probably 45 minutes to get him to do it, but he woke up in obvious discomfort and very bad spirits, and so I think he realized he had no choice. Since we have been feeding him basically nothing but fibrous foods for the past 2 days, I don't think there was actually a lot of pain when he got down to it. Then he had the pleasure of looking into his potty to see two "big boy" turds, we put his diaper back on him, and about 10 minutes later he started walking up and down the house saying "I'm just walking up and down, Daddy," which was a sure sign that he was letting everything flow out--perfuming the dwelling as he did so. Fascinating stuff. I guess the moral of this, i.e. what I have learned, is that, as long as you're feeding them decent fibrous foods along the way, there's probably a point at which nature will just take over and force things out, and I'm glad that we were able to make that moment coincide with practical potty training, because I think he may have seen more clearly how he can exert real physical control in these situations.
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Jul 22, 2014 18:55
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Ynglaur posted:Congratulations on adopting! It's a wonderful gift for everyone all around: yourselves, the child, society. Echoing this sentiment, and welcoming you to the thread. Hi!
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Jul 23, 2014 03:15
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Thwomp posted:My wife and I adopted a newborn late last month so I'll be checking out this thread more often. How long did you wait to adopt? Care to share anything about the process?
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Jul 23, 2014 06:21
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To put it briefly, a mutual friend put us in touch with a young woman who wanted to wanted to give up her child for adoption. This mutual friend thought my wife and I would be good parents and knew we couldn't have kids of our own. We started the process in January and actually met the birth mother in late-March. This kind of adoption is known as a private or independent adoption due to it not being arranged by an agency. So essentially it was just the legal arrangement between the birth mother, my wife and I, and the two states. Still, we took courses, had an outside agency make home visits to see how we were doing, got references, got CPR training, etc to satisfy the inter-state requirements. In its own way, it was like finding out we were pregnant. One day in December, we got a text message and it set us out on this path. It's so weird to look back at the beginning. What do you do when a friend texts you to ask if you'd be interested in adopting a baby? We were so skeptical at first but we're so happy now that everything worked out (which it certainly could have gone sideways). We certainly didn't have to wait the 2-5 year average most people wait for a healthy white infant.
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Jul 23, 2014 14:16
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Wow, that's awesome. I have a 4.5 year old and we are entertaining the idea of having another. I got that text message a few months ago, but it didn't work out. Kudos to you, it sounds like that is really the way to go for adoptions. Is it an open adoption?
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Jul 23, 2014 17:40
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Our 8 month old is either in awful pain for some reason or has started a phase of crying and screaming all day. We don't know what's up but my wife is about to have a mental breakdown. Took her to the Pediatrician and got her checked, Dr said they see nothing out of the ordinary.
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Jul 23, 2014 17:51
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MarshallX posted:Our 8 month old is either in awful pain for some reason or has started a phase of crying and screaming all day. We don't know what's up but my wife is about to have a mental breakdown. Volmarias fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Jul 23, 2014 |
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Jul 23, 2014 18:00
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photomikey posted:Wow, that's awesome. I have a 4.5 year old and we are entertaining the idea of having another. I got that text message a few months ago, but it didn't work out. Kudos to you, it sounds like that is really the way to go for adoptions. Yeah, it's an open adoption. We have regular communication with the birth mother and send pictures and the like. We're not opposed to him meeting her in the future either (when he's age appropriate).
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Jul 23, 2014 18:28
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MarshallX posted:Our 8 month old is either in awful pain for some reason or has started a phase of crying and screaming all day. We don't know what's up but my wife is about to have a mental breakdown. Our boy had a growth spurt around 8 months so maybe that?
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Jul 23, 2014 18:36
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photomikey posted:Wow, that's awesome. I have a 4.5 year old and we are entertaining the idea of having another. I got that text message a few months ago, but it didn't work out. Kudos to you, it sounds like that is really the way to go for adoptions. Is there some sort of goon adoption ring going on or did you mean something similar happened to you?
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Jul 23, 2014 19:18
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MarshallX posted:Our 8 month old is either in awful pain for some reason or has started a phase of crying and screaming all day. We don't know what's up but my wife is about to have a mental breakdown. That's the age when my daughter had her first teeth come in, and it made her a very angry baby. She was also starting to learn how to crawl so what had been her usual happy time of being held/worn a lot made her frustrated, as well as not quite being able to get to things when she was on the floor led to lots of crying either way.
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Jul 23, 2014 19:21
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Yeah the bigger of our twins is doing the same thing, fussy and can sometimes devolve into some really intense screaming, usually when its bedtime. First tooth came in last week. Waiting for the other twin to start doing the same.
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Jul 23, 2014 21:33
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MarshallX posted:Our 8 month old is either in awful pain for some reason or has started a phase of crying and screaming all day. We don't know what's up but my wife is about to have a mental breakdown. In my experience this was almost always an ear infection. Give it another day and if it doesn't stop, get her checked again. My oldest had terrible ear infections before she got tubes, I literally walked around the house with her draped over my shoulder for an entire day once while she screamed her little heart out from the pain. Ear tubes are a loving miracle. Teething sucks but doesn't cause constant all day screaming in my experience Does she stop screaming when she eats?
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Jul 23, 2014 23:00
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Any suggestions for transitioning from a sippy to regular cup for a 2 year old?
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Jul 24, 2014 15:28
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PuTTY riot posted:Any suggestions for transitioning from a sippy to regular cup for a 2 year old? Invest in towels to clean up spills. I'm only sarcastic because we're in the same process right now. Our daughter sips just fine from a cup, until she forgets that if she knocks the cup over or puts it down sideways that everything will spill out, how funny for her - messy for us.
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Jul 24, 2014 15:32
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Lol. Yeah, I figured that's about the extent of it. And lots of positive encouragement and high fives and such for a job well done.
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Jul 24, 2014 15:43
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Our kid hated sippy cups and took to regular cups pretty early. He gets a kick out of giving a satisfied "ahh!"after drinking from a cup.
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Jul 24, 2014 16:56
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hepscat posted:Is there some sort of goon adoption ring going on or did you mean something similar happened to you? My best friend has a daughter who goes to college in a nearby state, daughter's roommate has a sister with a new baby who... doesn't want a new baby. They went to get it because the sister was giving it up. My buddy txts me the story (in a remarkably few 160 character text messages), and it sort of ends with "and you're the best parent we know, if she gets it home, they want you to raise it". The story ends happily with sister getting some support and kiddo going back to sister (well, IMHO it'd be happier if the kid had ended up somewhere else, but still...), but for a few days there it looked like we'd have another photominor. I have told basically no one about this, assuming the story sounded like a pile of bullshit. But it sounds like Thwomp was involved in something similar.
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Jul 24, 2014 17:08
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Similar but with pregnant friend-of-a-friend instead of already hatched infant. Side note: I wonder if texting will still be a thing by the time our son is old enough to hear the whole story of his adoption. Or if it'll be like my parents telling me they received a telegram/telegraph message about being pregnant.
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Jul 24, 2014 18:27
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My 4.5 year old is an overall good kid. We don't do a lot of time outs but occasionally they happen. From time to time, she'll get put in time out until she can apologize for something she's done. This is relatively rare. Today she was mad at me for something inconsequential and punched me in the face. I sent her to time out until she could apologize. We're probably at around 20 minutes in time out right now, and while she's still upset, I'm pretty sure she has no idea what she's in there for. I have been back in there a few times to remind her, and tell her that when she apologizes, she can come out. She refuses to apologize. This has happened a few times before, and after a while, when the wailing and crying stops, I eventually have a little chat with her and let her out sans apology. This is not a good thing to make a pattern of, and I'm curious what the hivemind advice is, do I just let her sit there until eternity and make her apologize before I let her out, or next time do I just send her to time-out for 5 minutes and waive the apology. In case it matters, her mother, whom I am unable to put in time-out, is also completely unwilling/unable to apologize for anything, ever.
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Jul 25, 2014 23:22
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photomikey posted:My 4.5 year old is an overall good kid. We don't do a lot of time outs but occasionally they happen. From time to time, she'll get put in time out until she can apologize for something she's done. This is relatively rare. Today she was mad at me for something inconsequential and punched me in the face. I sent her to time out until she could apologize. We're probably at around 20 minutes in time out right now, and while she's still upset, I'm pretty sure she has no idea what she's in there for. I have been back in there a few times to remind her, and tell her that when she apologizes, she can come out. She refuses to apologize. This has happened a few times before, and after a while, when the wailing and crying stops, I eventually have a little chat with her and let her out sans apology. This is not a good thing to make a pattern of, and I'm curious what the hivemind advice is, do I just let her sit there until eternity and make her apologize before I let her out, or next time do I just send her to time-out for 5 minutes and waive the apology. Stick it out. Punching is unacceptable. 4.5 is old enough to know not to hurt someone on purpose, and to apologize if you hurt someone by accident. My daughter and I once had a 7 hour standoff about putting things away, but now she'll do it cheerfully because she knows nothing else will happen if she doesn't. This sounds kind of hardass, but you can do it gently and kindly while still being firm. Edit: Ok so it wasn't exactly 7 consecutive hours. We had meals in between, and bathroom breaks and stuff. It was more of a "nope we're not going to do (insert fun thing) until our previous mess is tidy." Chandrika fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Jul 26, 2014 |
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Jul 26, 2014 00:17
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photomikey posted:My 4.5 year old is an overall good kid. We don't do a lot of time outs but occasionally they happen. From time to time, she'll get put in time out until she can apologize for something she's done. This is relatively rare. Today she was mad at me for something inconsequential and punched me in the face. I sent her to time out until she could apologize. We're probably at around 20 minutes in time out right now, and while she's still upset, I'm pretty sure she has no idea what she's in there for. I have been back in there a few times to remind her, and tell her that when she apologizes, she can come out. She refuses to apologize. This has happened a few times before, and after a while, when the wailing and crying stops, I eventually have a little chat with her and let her out sans apology. This is not a good thing to make a pattern of, and I'm curious what the hivemind advice is, do I just let her sit there until eternity and make her apologize before I let her out, or next time do I just send her to time-out for 5 minutes and waive the apology. Trying to outstubborn a kid is not a good use of your resources. I think your program is fair, but you can't leave her in there till she gets her learners permit either. So I'd let her cool down for a while, like 20 minutes after the screaming stops, it's not like a 4 year old can tell the difference between 20 minutes and eternity, so might as well get it over with quick. Go in, explain your position again, ask her to describe what she thinks she is on punishment, (re explain the problem if you need to), then offer to hug it out. While apology and forgiveness are important, insisting on a specific format and signed confession is going to waste a lot of both of your time.
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Jul 26, 2014 00:33
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I tend to use time outs for cooling off only. Like that initial 60 seconds of letting emotion disperse. For both me and the kid, because I need a moment to not just fly off the handle myself. I would make my kid sit in a chair for a minute with me there with him, then a discussion right then and there about consequences. Do you want your *DS when you get home [insert favorite activity of your choice]? If so, you must ______ (apologize, whatever you want from her, apologies wouldn't necessarily be my demand). If she won't apologize, make it firm. Okay then, we are going ahead but no DS/no favorite toy/no favorite shirt and follow through. In my son's case, it would be his favorite pants. I kid you not. As long as it's not something over the top like NO ICE CREAM FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER or I WILL THROW THE TV IN THE TRASH. Hitting/kicking/biting is on a different scale. For me that's immediate removal from the situation until the kid is calmed down, then a big conversation what's acceptable and what's not. Hitting a couch cushion, kicking a pillow - acceptable when your emotions are big and out of control. Hitting dad in the face, no way. Neither of my kids were big hitters so I defer to people with more experience. Mostly I wouldn't treat it like a regular behavior/consequence moment and treat it more seriously with the kid. quote:Trying to out stubborn a kid is not a good use of your resources.
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Jul 26, 2014 02:11
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hepscat posted:rather than wanting a "sorry" before she can play again.
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Jul 26, 2014 03:26
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photomikey posted:My wife is unable to apologize and it's our biggest (only) relationship issue, I fixate on it to much, I think I will change my approach. Oh my god, that would drive me absolutely bonkers, so I get where you're coming from.
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Jul 26, 2014 07:20
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