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Hydrolith posted:This is more or less what I was getting at. Most cis vagina-havers can't come without clitoral stimulation, even during vaginal penetration. I haven't seen stats on anal penetration, though I can't imagine the numbers would be much higher. This is true for me, pretty much no matter what. Even if I get off from vaginal alone, it's usually because my clit is grinding into my partner's pelvis somehow.
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Jul 29, 2014 19:02
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I have a vasectomy-related problem that's scaring the poo poo out of me.  Recently, the guy I am currently with had made the decision to have a vasectomy. He was adamant about no kids, and I fully supported him. He went through with it, needed ice on his balls for a couple of days but felt fine afterwards, and everything seemed cool. However, there is a side effect appearing that has us both scared shitless. While he can gain and maintain erections and still cum, even with his balls still being a bit tender, he says the orgasms themselves are far less intense. I do notice that before his jizz could fly at least 3 feet and now it just kind of dribbles out. There is also slightly less load volume. We don't care about either of that, though. He says his balls don't draw up or have as much pressure, and that his resulting orgasms are less intense and over with quicker. It could be psychological, or the tiny lingering pain of the vasectomy throwing him off. Maybe he's not even truly orgasming at the moment and is having one of those retrograde ejaculations with no actual orgasm to back it. My biggest fear is the doctor hosed up a nerve and permanently affected his ability to have regular orgasms. Of course it could be other things; his balls aren't still back to normal as it's only been a couple of weeks. He's also been jacking off a lot, both to clear the old sperm out of his system and to try and see if the problem gets better as the days go by. He said he had a "different feeling, but still good" orgasm the very first time he jacked it after the vasectomy which was only several days later, and they have gotten weaker and worse ever since. He also says there is a slight twinge of pain in his right nut right when he orgasms still. He will be going in for a checkup with the doctor in several weeks, and will of course bring it up to him. He is going to hold off on jacking it just to let his balls recover more and to see if the issue is a matter of needing more buildup. I also told him to exercise his PC muscles as much as possible if it doesn't hurt him. This seems fairly rare on the internet and I'm having problems finding solutions - most Google searching leads to guys who flat out can't get boners or cum anymore, which doesn't seem to be his issue. If worse comes to worse, can a reversal fix this or is it permanent? Has anyone had similar issues with a vasectomy, and did it go away in time? Is there a way he can have stronger orgasms even with this?
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Jul 31, 2014 05:08
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There's a vasectomy megathread where you might have better luck and maybe some guys who have been through this. It's just fallen off the first page but I doubt anyone would mind you giving it a bump. I don't know of a way to say it that doesn't sound kind of dismissive, but to me it seems like you're both kind of freaking yourself out over this. Like you said, there could be a lot of factors at play like the fact that everything is still healing from recent surgery down there and the frequent masturbation. There's probably still some swelling, inflammation, etc. that might not be obvious to naked eye but could be affecting how everything is functioning right now. And honestly, if you're both doing Google searches for complications and apparently analyzing the quality of his orgasms/loads in detail the way you posted, anxiety may also be a factor here. I'll be honest and say I don't really have any experience with vasectomies personally, but in general I think you should give it time to see if it improves and if it doesn't seem to be, then bring it up at the check-up. Also difficult as it might be, try to relax to see if maybe that helps too.
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Jul 31, 2014 05:42
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It's only been a couple weeks since surgery. Any body part might not be 100% back to normal in that situation. I had a couple moles snipped a month+ ago -- that's the tiniest surgery ever, and the area's still not 100% perfect again. It will be eventually; it just takes time. If he gets super freaked out about it, it probably will be a big psychosomatic deal. He shouldn't do some big routine of exercises and celibacy and God knows what else. Just tell him the internet says it's normal and everything will be normal eventually, and try to have fun and don't dwell on it. Anne Whateley fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Jul 31, 2014 |
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Jul 31, 2014 05:58
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i like nice words
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Thanks for the link. I remembered the thread, but didn't see it and assumed it was dead. I'll repost there, as it would still be great to hear if any male had a similar experience and how everything turned out. But yeah, so far leaving his privates alone and waiting for the doctor's second evaluation is our plan. Not being a guy I couldn't speak from exact experience, but I have also heard that jacking it when you're not horny but just to take your mind off of something leads to less enjoyable orgasms in general. He could just be pushing things too hard too early and psyching himself out when it feels off. It also makes me feel better that his apparent best orgasm post surgery was 2 DAYS afterward - that probably means he just needs time and less stress. I've also read that some guys suffer from symptoms like that for a month or two, then slowly regain the feeling as their balls heal completely. We both know to wait at least a month or two before really getting worried.
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Jul 31, 2014 06:04
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Cuckoo posted:I have a vasectomy-related problem that's scaring the poo poo out of me. It took over three months for me to 100% recover from my vasectomy, but from what you're saying, it could just be the lots of jacking off. Jack off a lot, orgasms will just be less intense, period. A vasectomy shouldn't permanently mess up any sexual pleasure, since the vas deferens isn't an erogenous zone. One thing to try is kegels, doing male kegels will strengthen the muscles related to ejaculation, which will increase distance and intensity. But honestly, it's probably just a matter of time, it is not unusual to take a month or two before you fully get over a vasectomy.
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Jul 31, 2014 06:21
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Enjoy your non conceiving unnatural sex and forever hosed up balls.
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Jul 31, 2014 10:50
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Vasectomies rule. Not conceiving is the literal best thing in the world. The recovery is a bit gnarly. You can come blood the first time after (I didn't, thank gently caress) and its common for all the skin on your dick to slough off. Doctor didn't warn me about that ahead of time so that was pretty startling but it's actually totally normal. I think your dude might have jumped back into jackin' it a little too quick. I had mine done back in 09 so the memories are a bit hazy but I want to say I was inert for a weekend, had the jock strap for a little bit after that, and then was given the go-ahead to start cleaning out the pipes. I'd say give it some time and Im sure it'll be fine. Unfortunately though it's not unheard of for people to react differently to the procedure. Some people have pain, aches, etc. I can't imagine that a reversal would fix the problem, since I've never heard of a vasectomy properly done causing something like that. All it's supposed to really do is interrupt the flow of semen into your ejaculate, which is really not a vital component of an orgasm. If the doctor did indeed mess something up down there, just restoring that flow isn't likely to un-gently caress it, without identifying what the actual problem is.
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Jul 31, 2014 13:02
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While the physical symptoms of a vasectomy can subside after a week or so, like others have said it can take a couple of months to get back to 100%. My vasectomy was massively hosed up (you can check the vasectomy thread for that story, it was a long, annoying, almost year-long ordeal) so my story might be a bit of an outlier, but the first month or so after getting close to recovery the orgasms were a little less intense. There was also a golf ball sized lump on my left testicle so it kind of kept all the moving and other fun stuff to a minimum which might have had something to do with it. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist by any means but I couldn't discount psychological factors as well. Anecdotally, I know after my vasectomy I was worried about it not working and that permanent damage may have been done and this hurts and that hurts, etc., so everything was kind of less fun and toned down. Give it time, take it slow, and if something doesn't seem right definitely hit up a doctor or urologist. Urologists are some of the coolest doctors around.
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Jul 31, 2014 17:20
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My husband says it took about six weeks before he had 100% sensation as normal.
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Jul 31, 2014 18:55
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Cuckoo posted:but I have also heard that jacking it when you're not horny but just to take your mind off of something leads to less enjoyable orgasms in general. Um, no.
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Aug 1, 2014 02:02
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My vasectomy went fine as far as I recall but it was about two weeks before I stopped feeling any queasiness from activity and a month after that before core-heavy exercise stopped feeling like someone was very mildly kicking my balls. I definitely wasn't doing anything sexual two days later, though. It's been a few years but I don't think I had any loss in sensation/strength although I never had your bf's power-washer jizz blaster to begin with and maybe I've just forgotten what youth feels like.
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Aug 2, 2014 08:22
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Ottoman posted:The gagging sound is a porn thing. To me it sounds like a dying duck or something, totally unsexy. Vocal sounds during blowjobs are unnatural, the girlfriend probably saw it in porn and figured that's how it's done but it's totally unnecessary. To me, vocalizations during blowjobs should be limited to "mmmmmm!" Anne Whateley posted:The gagging is likely something she picked up from porn, or was told to do by guys who picked it up from porn. These are a few days old, but as a person of powerful gag reflex I just have to say -- drat, goons. This is so comically backwards. The gagging sound is from gagging, because you've got a dick in your mouth and it's triggering the gag reflex. It's not like exaggerated moaning during intercourse. If the lady reports that she loves giving blow jobs and she's regularly gagging during them, then I'd like to allow for the possibility that she just really wants more of that dick in her mouth than her gag reflex would prefer -- that she's fighting her gag reflex for her pleasure, not intentionally triggering it to imitate porn. (Which doesn't mean he's wrong to want her to stop doing it because the choking sound grosses him out, just that you two cracked me up with your certainty that this was some artificial porn inspired thing rather than a normal naturally occurring problem.)
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Aug 2, 2014 17:48
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No, I said "likely" and I stand by it. The times when I've gagged for real have been absolutely nothing like the dying-duck-on-every-stroke porn thing.
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Aug 2, 2014 17:53
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solovyov posted:These are a few days old, but as a person of powerful gag reflex I just have to say -- drat, goons. This is so comically backwards. The gagging sound is from gagging, because you've got a dick in your mouth and it's triggering the gag reflex. It's not like exaggerated moaning during intercourse. If the lady reports that she loves giving blow jobs and she's regularly gagging during them, then I'd like to allow for the possibility that she just really wants more of that dick in her mouth than her gag reflex would prefer -- that she's fighting her gag reflex for her pleasure, not intentionally triggering it to imitate porn. (Which doesn't mean he's wrong to want her to stop doing it because the choking sound grosses him out, just that you two cracked me up with your certainty that this was some artificial porn inspired thing rather than a normal naturally occurring problem.) Except that it is a "thing" in porn and gagging doesn't usually sound anything like that (speaking as someone who also has a pretty strong gag reflex).
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Aug 2, 2014 18:09
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Well I don't watch porn made for straight men so I don't know how porn gagging sounds different than real gagging but the dude said her "choking" sounds grossed him out and that doesn't call to my mind a dying duck noise. Maybe she did pick it from porn and it sounds exactly like that, I just thought it was funny that people assumed that was the case. This nice young man makes no choking sounds:  http://cdn.seancody.com/preview/photos/1767uYlkPNtCsTKuImF/10.jpg
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Aug 2, 2014 18:51
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seriously, it's a thing in straight porn. You can google it.
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Aug 2, 2014 19:42
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Liquid Communism posted:seriously, it's a thing in straight porn. You can google it. Do I sound skeptical about it being a "thing" in straight porn? I don't know how good the search results are for "people whose sex lives are not influenced by straight porn" but those people are a "thing" in the real world.
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Aug 2, 2014 19:56
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Of course, but maybe they shouldn't say "I don't have any idea what mainstream porn is like, but she didn't get this from mainstream porn, you idiots."
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Aug 2, 2014 20:30
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Anne Whateley posted:Of course, but maybe they shouldn't say "I don't have any idea what mainstream porn is like, but she didn't get this from mainstream porn, you idiots." That's not what I said at all. The other guy said she picked it up from porn. You said she likely picked it up from porn or from a guy who picked it up from porn. I merely said this: quote:
I'm not the one arguing this is totally where this comes from, I'm just pointing out this poo poo happens naturally as well. And not being familiar with the latest trends in teaching people how to have bad sex that is straight porn hardly qualifies as not having any idea what mainstream porn is like (it's horrible).
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Aug 2, 2014 21:14
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Hello sex questions thread! Today my boyfriend asked me to put my whole hand up his butt. While I have had a lot of things and most of my hand up his butt, the prospect of actually getting the rest in there strikes me as more challenging. Is there anything I need to know going in? I don't think getting him relaxed and ready will be a problem; we are using lots of lube and communicating well in bed and he really, really likes it. But what do I do with my hand once it's in there? Is there anything I should avoid? My only experience with this is a) porn, which sadly lacks internal views and b) the time someone put a fist in my vagina, which we did wrong and doesn't really apply here anyway.
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Aug 3, 2014 09:37
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Why am I so unbelievably sexy?
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Aug 3, 2014 14:01
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Avshalom posted:Why am I so unbelievably sexy? Short sightedness caused by excess masturbation combined with a delusional self image and anonymity-led false self confidence.
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Aug 3, 2014 14:07
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Bomrek posted:Hello sex questions thread! Today my boyfriend asked me to put my whole hand up his butt. http://gaylife.about.com/od/gaysexadvice/ht/gayfisting.htm (Applies to girls just as well) Short version: trim nails, use latex or nitrile gloves, lots of lube and relaxation. Once it's in there you can massage his prostate if you can reach it, or slowly move your hand around if he wants you to. Trimming your nails is the important thing to remember.
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Aug 3, 2014 15:25
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Quick update on my guy and his vasectomy, he's all good now.  But I have another question, and this one may be tougher to answer: (warning, kind of gross.)Long story short, I have PCOS, Endometriosis, and an allergy to latex/rubber. This means that I am meticulous about my personal health. Virgin coconut oil as lube, scent free-soaps and detergents, loose cotton undies and no tight pants, latex-free condoms when used, probiotic pills twice a day, no hormonal birth control, and not allowing anything with parabens or any other chemical stuff near me. Yeast is a thing of the past, and bv is far rarer than it used to be. Despite this, I came down with a really nasty case of PID out of nowhere this weekend and had to go to the hospital. Now I'm on a hardcore antibiotic regimen doing every anti-bacterial thing under the sun even harder while praying the pills don't cause yeast and start the cycle again. Now it's always possible that my Endometeriosis decided to pick the wrong spot of my body to spread its horrible unreleased period stuff and caused it that way, but since I'm really careful and haven't had PID in years it just seems odd that it would crop up. I also had NO yeast or BV-like symptoms either, with one exception. It might have been my toy. I did notice a slight discomfort after using it sometimes, but brushed it off since there were no symptoms such as discharge and the discomfort always went away soon afterwards. But then the question is, how could it be my toy? Not only did I spend over 100 bucks to try and get one that is 100% silicone with no rubber or TPR, but it is also very carefully cleaned. I give it a warm soap and water rinse before and after use, and also use boiling water to pour over the shaft every few uses for good measure (it's a battery-operated vibrator so I can't submerge it.) The only thing I can think of is that the 100% silicone thing is bullshit, because sex toys can and do lie about that and may sneak in some TPR blending, and that my body was reacting to whatever amount of rubber was in it. I guess my question is, what brands are trustworthy and aren't lying when they say 100% silicone with no garbage added? I think CalExotics is full of poo poo, and some other stuff that claims to be 100% silicone either has no brand name to research or makes these retardedly-shaped art-deco furniture tabletop piece vibrators that look nicer than a dong shape but are hilariously impractical or don't even fit the vagina correctly. Even Edenfantasy's rating system can't be trusted - in the past, I bought 10/10 silicone safety ratings only to find it had that familiar toxic rubbery smell that only comes from TPR vibrators and cause burning if I was dumb enough to try it anyway.
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Aug 6, 2014 23:18
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Look at toy review websites for lists of good brands. The major (as in, I'm pretty sure they did it first) company is Tantus. Lelo is good too and smaller sex toy sites -- or your local shop, assuming you have a good one -- are generally the better places to go. There's no laws about labelling contents in general so the only way to ensure quality is to stick to places with great reputations. Epiphora's poo poo list is a fairly large list of sites/companies to avoid as well as why to avoid them. I hope you and your sensitive bits feel better soon.
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Aug 7, 2014 07:05
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Generally if they say 100% silicone, it will be 100% silicone (and if it's been standing up to repeated boilings you're probably good there). CalExotics does do some pure silicone stuff, but yeah, I avoid them in general (their luxury brand, Jopen, is fine). Generally at that price it will be nothing but silicone-- if you know the brand name and model I could probably tell you (or from a picture if you're comfortable with that, but deffo understandable if you're not). Edenfantasies, however, is 100% untrustworthy. They are not a good site and not a good business. There's reams of stuff about them mistreating their reviewers and employees if you care about that but pertinently to someone who doesn't: they have been known to re-sell as new toys that have been satisfaction returned. ie, used. Sex toys. Do not shop at Edenfantasies. Ever. Also, everything Smitten Kitten sells will be non-toxic; they explicitly only sell non-toxic toys. Even if you don't buy from them, you can cross-reference.
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Aug 7, 2014 07:56
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Thanks a lot for the tips, everyone. I'll avoid Edenfantasys from now on and use/reference Smitten Kitten instead, and will give that poo poo list a good read before ordering again. The really annoying thing is that I like rabbit vibrators, but finding truly pure silicone rabbits seems difficult for some reason. Basically anything shaped like an iVibe or classic original rabbit vibrator is awesome, but again those are all TPR.
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Aug 7, 2014 22:46
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Yyeah, rabbits are mostly TPR or jelly. Lelo has a couple silicone rabbits and I do think calexotics does too, actually, but you'd have to examine the product carefully. The trouble with rabbits is it's hard finding good reviews for them because you kind of need a goldilocks vag (lucky) to enjoy them, and most reviewers don't. I don't even know anyone off the top of my head who reviews them favourably.
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Aug 7, 2014 23:35
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neongrey posted:Yyeah, rabbits are mostly TPR or jelly. Lelo has a couple silicone rabbits and I do think calexotics does too, actually, but you'd have to examine the product carefully. My body setup must be quite different then, because rabbits work out by far the best for me followed by g-spot vibrators, but anything purely clitoral or vaginal is boring. However, the shape of each individual toy is an issue and one problem with the few 100% pure silicone rabbits on the market is that their artsy bullshit shapes don't fit as well as more traditional ones. LELO Ina 2 is an example: http://www.lelo.com/index.php?collectionName=femme-homme&groupName=INA-2&categoryId=466 Compared to the shape of a regular dong with a rabbit attachment on top: http://www.amazon.com/California-Ex...vibrator+rabbit
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Aug 7, 2014 23:42
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Honestly? I'm amazed, because you're literally the first person I've ever heard of that fitting right for, haha. (I don't disbelieve you, I'm just surprised; I see a lot of people complaining about those, wondering if the designers have ever seen a human vagina. I guess there is a market who fits them after all!) I'm honestly at a bit of a loss for what to suggest then, because yeah most of the quality rabbits I know have a curve to them for better g-spot hits or other general fit. Honestly I might try hitting up sone of the big reviewers' (Epiphora or Dangerous Lilly or someone) tumblrs in an ask, and ask if they know any products that fit your specs. None of them will personally like it but if it exists, they'll know about it, at least.
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Aug 7, 2014 23:54
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Really? That's weird, but yeah everyone is different. Personally I hate mini-vibes, eggs, massagers, and anything that isn't at least shaped like a dick. Since finding decent rabbits is so hard to find, it's both a blessing and a curse? v vLooks like there's a new LELO sister company called "Picobong" which uses the same high-quality silicone, but costs less. Nice to see they realized that some people would like a good material but don't need to spend 200 bucks for something with a million fancy, pointless options. This is a rabbit from Picobong called the Kaya: https://www.smittenkittenonline.com/vibes-buzz-me-tender/kaya-dual-stimulation-vibrator-by-picobong.html Looks like a good compromise. But still, any g-spot or natural silicone toy with a decent enough curve would probably work too. When it comes to silicone toys that don't look like someone stole them from a modern art museum, it looks like Tantus vibrators are best.
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Aug 8, 2014 00:04
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I'm trying to find a replica (preferably functional) of the "Ulysses" dildo used in Masters of Sex but Google and the major online toy shops are coming up blank. Any ideas of where I could expand my search to?
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Aug 8, 2014 06:55
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Well, it looks like the prop was custom made for the show. Maybe find yourself a custom dildosmith? Or, failing that, email a few manufacturers directly and see if they have any ideas?
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Aug 8, 2014 09:10
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Hydrolith posted:Well, it looks like the prop was custom made for the show. Maybe find yourself a custom dildosmith? Or, failing that, email a few manufacturers directly and see if they have any ideas? Sex Questions Megathread III: Find yourself a custom dildosmith
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Aug 8, 2014 10:14
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Cuckoo posted:Really? That's weird, but yeah everyone is different. Personally I hate mini-vibes, eggs, massagers, and anything that isn't at least shaped like a dick. Since finding decent rabbits is so hard to find, it's both a blessing and a curse? v Some of Picobong's stuff has motor and other design issues(seams and buttons in bad places) , so check reviews first, but yeah, material wise they're fine. Oddly, a lot of strange shapes are more moulded to the shape of a vagina than the straight ones, (rabbits don't work for me, but the Mona is great for me) One thing too you will want to note about Picobong is that they are all battery powered, which will give you categorically less power than something rechargeable. I think some of the Picobong ones are notably buzzy, too, which is bad.
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Aug 8, 2014 13:05
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Gravitas Shortfall posted:Sex Questions Megathread III: Find yourself a custom dildosmith  On that note, I wonder if Dick Smith could help. (probably not).
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Aug 8, 2014 13:29
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Yeah, after doing some more research I decided on the Jopen vr7 instead. Not only is it rechargeable and good quality silicone that's very flexible (as I discovered while watching an incredibly awkward Youtube review) but it's a bit girthier/longer than some of the other high end rabbits, matching the dimensions of my Old Faithful closely. I wish the shaft was more human-shaped and didn't look like a neon purple dolphin dick, but whatever. For some reason most "modern design" rabbits not made by CalExotics have pencil dick syndrome. If you can't get decent penetration, why even bother with a rabbit over a clit toy?
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Aug 8, 2014 16:08
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To anyone having trouble with condoms, have you ever tried using a female condom? They're more expensive than regular condoms but they're awesome and according to my partner they provide a more "natural" feeling.
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Aug 8, 2014 17:19
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| # ? May 13, 2024 22:24 |
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Anyone into cuckold sex? The gf brought it up today and not sure how i feel about it :/ Edit" I will be cuckolded.
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Aug 10, 2014 06:32
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