Strawman posted:

Ayre: How much? Quick!
Sevilla: What?
Ayre: He's for the first team.
Sevilla: Oh, ehm... twenty million.
Ayre: Right.
Sevilla: What?
Ayre: There you are.
Sevilla: Wait a minute!
Ayre: What?
Sevilla: Well, we're... we're supposed to haggle!
Ayre: No, no, no, I've got to get...
Sevilla: What do you mean, "No, no, no"?
Ayre: I haven't got time, we've got preseason soon...
Sevilla: Well, give him back, then.
Ayre: No, no, no, I just paid you!
Sevilla: Daniel!
Daniel Levy: Yeah?
Sevilla: This bloke won't haggle!
Daniel Levy: Won't haggle?!
Ayre: All right, do we have to?
Sevilla: Now look, I want twenty million for him.
Ayre: Ehm...I just gave you twenty million.
Sevilla: Now are you telling me he's not worth twenty million?
Ayre: No.
Sevilla: Look at him on Youtube! See the quality, that's not any of your old Bertrand rubbish!
Ayre: All right, I'll give you nineteen million then.
Sevilla: No, no, no, come on, do it properly!
Ayre: What?
Sevilla: Haggle properly, "he isn't worth nineteen million"!
Ayre: Well, you just said he was worth twenty million!
Sevilla: Oh dear, oh dear. Come on, haggle!
Ayre: Uh, all right, I'll give you ten million.
Sevilla: That's more like it! Ten million? Are you trying to insult me? Me, with a poor dying club? Rakitic gone, and now you're trying to steal our star player for ten million? Ten million!?
Ayre: All right, I'll give you eleven million!
Sevilla: Now you're getting it. Eleven million!? Did I hear you right? Eleven? He cost me twelve million, you want to ruin me?
Ayre: Seventeen million?
Sevilla: No, no, no, no, not seventeen million!
Ayre: Eighteen million?
Sevilla: No, no, no, you've got to go to fourteen million now.
Ayre: All right, I'll give you fourteen million.
Sevilla: Fourteen million!? Are you joking?
Ayre: That's what you told me to say!
Sevilla: Oh, dear...
Ayre: Oh, tell me what to say, please!
Sevilla: Offer me fourteen million.
Ayre: I'll give you fourteen million.
Sevilla: He's offering me fourteen for him!
Ayre: Fifteen million!
Sevilla: Seventeen million. My last word, I won't take a penny less, or strike me dead.
Ayre: Sixteen million!
Sevilla: Done! Nice to do business with you.
Ayre: Mhm.
Sevilla: Tell you what, I'll throw you in Aspas back aswell.
Ayre: I don't want him, but thanks.
Sevilla: Daniel!
Daniel Levy: Yeah?
Ayre: All right, all right, all right.
Sevilla: Now where's the sixteen million you owe me?
Ayre: I just gave you twenty million.
Sevilla: Oh yeah, that's right, that's four million I owe you, then.
Ayre: No, that's all right, that's fine, that's fine.
Sevilla: No, hang on, I've got it here somewhere.
Ayre: No, it's all right, that's four million for Aspas.
Sevilla: Four million? For Iago Blades? Four million!? Look at it! He's worth ten million if he's worth a Euro!
Ayre: You just offered him back to me for nothing!
Sevilla: Yes, but he's worth ten million.
Ayre: All right, all right!
Sevilla: No, no, no, no, he's not worth ten milliom, you're supposed to argue! "Ten million for him, you must be mad!"

(Ayre leaves shaking his head and asking if Davies' paperwork has DEFINITELY gone through)

Sevilla: Oh, well, one born every minute.

Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi posted:

Love the part where they use the World Cup success as evidence that US is better than England then say England is equivalent to Costa Rica who did better than the US at said World Cup.

Byolante posted:

This is definitely the right thread for this post but they have a point about Gerrard v Bradley on current ability

quote:

Perhaps no sport is more dominated by money than European soccer. With few restrictions on team payrolls or transfer budgets, big spending clubs consistently outperform their poorer competitors by wide margins. Recent seasons have seen exciting challenges to the elite come from Jurgen Klopp’s Borussia Dortmund and Diego Simeone’s Atletico Madrid, both clubs coming just short of winning the 2013 and 2014 Champions League titles, respectively. However, the “smallness” of these clubs is relative. Dortmund does not have the budget of Bayern Munich, but it is one of two major teams from the massive Ruhr Valley metropolis, and it sells out an 80,000 spectator capacity stadium regularly. Atletico Madrid are overshadowed by Real Madrid, but as the second team in Madrid, Atleti can draw on large revenues to fund its underdog campaigns.

If you look lower in the soccer class structure for overachieving teams, some less exciting examples show themselves. Last year in the English Premier League, both Crystal Palace and Hull City appeared to be good candidates for relegation. The two teams had managed to win promotion from the Championship after uninspiring league seasons in which they outscored their opponents by just 20 goals combined. Neither Palace nor Hull used the sudden revenue jump associated with joining the Premier League to spend particularly lavishly, dropping net spend numbers of about $20 million and $30 million respectively, while the other promoted side Cardiff City splashed over $50 million. But at the end of the season, it was the Welsh side that was relegated back to the Championship. Palace finished a solid 11th, while Hull City ended safely in 16th and reached the final of the FA Cup.

How did the Eagles and the Tigers stay in the league? It was not, sad to say, by playing inspiring or exciting soccer. Managers Tony Pulis and Steve Bruce built teams that excelled instead at soccer’s classic weapons of the weak. They defended deep, then attacked quickly down the flanks with long balls and crosses. I wrote earlier about opposition passing percentage as a marker of a high defensive press. No team in England forced a lower rate incomplete passes than Crystal Palace at just over 17 percent. Hull City was little better, at a little over 18 percent. No exciting, high tempo press here.

Both teams also eschewed attacks through the center for more speculative crosses from the flanks. Pulis’s and Bruce’s sides led the league in their ratio of crosses to through-balls attempted.

In fact, that number somewhat understates Pulis’s side focus on the flanks. He was only manager for the final 26 matches of the season. Crystal Palace began the season under Ian Holloway, who made a few desultory attempts to get him team to play more exciting, passing soccer. Palace had a high but less extraordinary Cr:TB ratio of about 20:1 when Pulis took over, and a crazy ratio of about 38:1 under his watch.

The extremity of Pulis’s tactics can be seen best by comparison to Bruce’s Hull. With a good passer in Tom Huddlestone at the base of midfield, Hull City did at times seek play out of the back. Tony Pulis effectively barred his team from playing out of the back.

Most teams in the Premier League, even Hull City, play over 150 passes in their own defensive half per match. Your more progressive passing attacks like Liverpool and Arsenal attempt well over 200. Tony Pulis got his team under 100 per match.

These tactics hold little appeal for fans. They tend to slow games down, and the goals that are scored tend to be more on the smash-and-grab end of the attractiveness spectrum. But at a reasonably low cost, these tactics carried Hull City to the FA Cup final and Crystal Palace out of the basement into the mid-table. I worry that if a systematic Moneyball approach comes to soccer, for many teams it might look a lot more like Pulis-ball than anything else.

TheBigAristotle posted:

From the comments:

"I have completed an in-depth statistical analysis on the state of affairs across Europe and can now let you know that Frenchman Seurat easily out performed all others in the number of dabs per centimetre but compared unfavourably to Dutch star van Gogh when self-portraits are figured into the mix. Needless to say French star Renoir covers an immense amount of canvas each outing but the outstanding all-round performer is in Holland, where Rembrandt not only covers acres more canvas than his competitors but also easily outstrips even fellow countryman van Gogh for the number of successful self-portraits attempted and completed. Thus Rembrandt is statistically the best and one can only pity the unappealing moneyball of Pablo Picasso, some of whose self-portaits have subsequently turned out to be pictures of a table in his kitchen."

TheBigAristotle posted:

From the comments:

TheBigAristotle posted:

From the comments:

"I have completed an in-depth statistical analysis on the state of affairs across Europe and can now let you know that Frenchman Seurat easily out performed all others in the number of dabs per centimetre but compared unfavourably to Dutch star van Gogh when self-portraits are figured into the mix. Needless to say French star Renoir covers an immense amount of canvas each outing but the outstanding all-round performer is in Holland, where Rembrandt not only covers acres more canvas than his competitors but also easily outstrips even fellow countryman van Gogh for the number of successful self-portraits attempted and completed. Thus Rembrandt is statistically the best and one can only pity the unappealing moneyball of Pablo Picasso, some of whose self-portaits have subsequently turned out to be pictures of a table in his kitchen."

quote:

I know there is bad blood between Juventus and LFC fans after Heysel...

So do you think it would be a bad move to wear a LFC shirt to the Juventus game in Singapore or should it be fine?

TheBigAristotle posted:

From the comments:

"I have completed an in-depth statistical analysis on the state of affairs across Europe and can now let you know that Frenchman Seurat easily out performed all others in the number of dabs per centimetre but compared unfavourably to Dutch star van Gogh when self-portraits are figured into the mix. Needless to say French star Renoir covers an immense amount of canvas each outing but the outstanding all-round performer is in Holland, where Rembrandt not only covers acres more canvas than his competitors but also easily outstrips even fellow countryman van Gogh for the number of successful self-portraits attempted and completed. Thus Rembrandt is statistically the best and one can only pity the unappealing moneyball of Pablo Picasso, some of whose self-portaits have subsequently turned out to be pictures of a table in his kitchen."

Slaapaav posted:

so swansea actually play tiki taka?

Slaapaav posted:

so swansea actually play tiki taka?

sassassin posted:

Typed up 4 paragraphs before I saw what thread I was in

Brony Car posted:

Thom P. Tiers posted:

what the gently caress is this?

Brony Car posted:

http://www.si.com/edge/photos/2014/08/05/sports-illustrated-fittest-50-athletes-sports

St Evan Echoes posted:

Of all those things I think I like Michael Phelps - Strength 7 the best

Brony Car posted:

TelekineticBear! posted:

hes stronger than Rich Froning for sure