RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

nzspambot posted:

yep, dont reboot and have issue when ipv4 >512K or reboot and your line cards fail and hope you can RMA them

Which is worse?

Both!

# ? Aug 13, 2014 03:50

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# ? May 16, 2024 07:51

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

You keep kicking that can down the road and hope its not your problem when the jig is up

# ? Aug 13, 2014 05:14

Xequecal: Jun 14, 2005

rock2much posted:

I had a lady scream gently caress YOU at the top of her lungs when I refused to go to her home and 'install' a printer cable for her. I was working at Circuit City at the time and this was in the middle of a crowded store.

Had another customer come in and scream WHERE ARE ALL THE loving BOOKS??? When I told him Barnes & Nobles was next door he stormed out.

When I worked at an ISP a customer insisted that since she pays $200/mo for internet (she doesn't) that we should've given her NIC drivers and she wasn't getting off the phone until we gave them to her. She didn't even know what NIC drivers were until I explained it to her. I think most of the calls we got were due to the fact that you could talk to someone for free, even if we couldn't help.

I have a co worker that actually was paying $200/month for internet. It was some kind of standalone router that interfaced with TMobile's cell phone network and provided internet access that way. They convinced her to buy it by claiming that Comcast cable modem service was completely unreliable and would stop working "several times a day."

How did I learn about this? As the lab's "computer person," she asked me about the legitimacy of huge overage charges that showed up one month. She wanted to know "how many movies" she and her two sisters can watch without going over. She then informed me that her monthly limit was "twelve million kilobytes" and that the sales guy assured her this was a huge amount.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 07:12

less than three: Aug 9, 2007; Fallen Rib

e: Wrong Thread.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 07:24

chin up everything sucks: Jan 29, 2012

Xequecal posted:

I have a co worker that actually was paying $200/month for internet. It was some kind of standalone router that interfaced with TMobile's cell phone network and provided internet access that way. They convinced her to buy it by claiming that Comcast cable modem service was completely unreliable and would stop working "several times a day."

How did I learn about this? As the lab's "computer person," she asked me about the legitimacy of huge overage charges that showed up one month. She wanted to know "how many movies" she and her two sisters can watch without going over. She then informed me that her monthly limit was "twelve million kilobytes" and that the sales guy assured her this was a huge amount.

Argh. I hate predatory sales people feeding consumers lines of bullshit. Because it always comes back to a "he said she said" thing, and somehow these people always want to trust the shady sales rep over the support person.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 07:37

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Xequecal posted:

I have a co worker that actually was paying $200/month for internet. It was some kind of standalone router that interfaced with TMobile's cell phone network and provided internet access that way. They convinced her to buy it by claiming that Comcast cable modem service was completely unreliable and would stop working "several times a day."

How did I learn about this? As the lab's "computer person," she asked me about the legitimacy of huge overage charges that showed up one month. She wanted to know "how many movies" she and her two sisters can watch without going over. She then informed me that her monthly limit was "twelve million kilobytes" and that the sales guy assured her this was a huge amount.

To be fair, 12GB is a pretty large data cap, but it's not $200 worth of data cap, and gently caress predatory sales people.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 12:53

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

Volmarias posted:

To be fair, 12GB is a pretty large data cap, but it's not $200 worth of data cap, and gently caress predatory sales people.

Maybe on a cell phone. I'm pretty sure a single season of anything on Netflix will go over 12GB.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 14:51

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

m.hache posted:

Maybe on a cell phone. I'm pretty sure a single season of anything on Netflix will go over 12GB.

Not really, more like 2GB. At least on my laptop.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:08

BaseballPCHiker: Jan 16, 2006

So I had one of our techs put in a service request with Dell for a new Latitude 7240 laptop that was under warranty. User was having battery life issues and it was occasionally powering off and getting some odd fan errors when it would boot. The Dell tech comes by and starts to work on it. Points out that there is a ton of corrosion everywhere on the laptop and looks like someone obviously spilled something on it. So we send it out to Dell to get replaced and the user gets a brand new Lenovo x240 to use in the meantime. THE NEXT DAY she spills coffee all over it. Won't turn on at all. She has single handedly proven the value of accidental damage warranty coverage.

At this point she is really freaking out because she thinks this laptop cost will be deducted from her paycheck. Our company generally has a policy of one allowed lost/stolen/damaged device every four years for phones, tablets, laptops, etc. I explain to her that we can get it covered under warranty and that aside from the time and effort of getting her another temp laptop ready she will be fine. That's when she comes clean. The first laptop had been peed on by her dog. She was afraid to tell us so she cleaned it as best as she could with paper towels and windex and hoped for the best. gently caress users.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:22

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

BaseballPCHiker posted:

So I had one of our techs put in a service request with Dell for a new Latitude 7240 laptop that was under warranty. User was having battery life issues and it was occasionally powering off and getting some odd fan errors when it would boot. The Dell tech comes by and starts to work on it. Points out that there is a ton of corrosion everywhere on the laptop and looks like someone obviously spilled something on it. So we send it out to Dell to get replaced and the user gets a brand new Lenovo x240 to use in the meantime. THE NEXT DAY she spills coffee all over it. Won't turn on at all. She has single handedly proven the value of accidental damage warranty coverage.

At this point she is really freaking out because she thinks this laptop cost will be deducted from her paycheck. Our company generally has a policy of one allowed lost/stolen/damaged device every four years for phones, tablets, laptops, etc. I explain to her that we can get it covered under warranty and that aside from the time and effort of getting her another temp laptop ready she will be fine. That's when she comes clean. The first laptop had been peed on by her dog. She was afraid to tell us so she cleaned it as best as she could with paper towels and windex and hoped for the best. gently caress users.

When I worked for the cable company we had a service tech show up for no internet service. The modem is sitting on a soggy piece of pissed soaked carpet and the modem has piss crystals all over it. When we confront the tenant about it:

"It was like that when you put it in."

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:36

orange sky: May 7, 2007

RE: A ticket came in: the modem has piss crystals all over it

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:39

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

orange sky posted:

RE: A ticket came in: the modem has piss crystals all over it

The worst was the tech got down on his knees to inspect the cable and didn't realize he was kneeling directly into piss until it has soaked through his overalls.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:40

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

...whose piss was it? :ohdear:

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:41

orange sky: May 7, 2007

The tech's, apparently, it was like that when he put it in there.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:43

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Inspector_666 posted:

...whose piss was it?

Pet piss I would assume.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:49

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Sickening posted:

Pet piss I would assume.

Come on: you've been here long enough to know that is a naive assumption.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 16:04

The Cubelodyte: Sep 1, 2006; Practicing Hypnolaw since 1990; Grimey Drawer

Just got a request for "unfeathered access" to a server.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 16:14

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

spog posted:

Come on: you've been here long enough to know that is a naive assumption.

As cynical as I am, I am pretty sure the chances of it being human piss has to be pretty loving low while a pet marking something would be pretty common.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 16:21

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

Sickening posted:

As cynical as I am, I am pretty sure the chances of it being human piss has to be pretty loving low while a pet marking something would be pretty common.

Depending on the area the call was in, it could have been either/or.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 16:43

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

The Cubelodyte posted:

Just got a request for "unfeathered access" to a server.

Mother plucking users...

# ? Aug 13, 2014 16:53

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

m.hache posted:

Depending on the area the call was in, it could have been either/or.

I really don't know why people are wanting this to be human piss so bad. Not every issue is so extreme.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 16:57

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

m.hache posted:

Maybe on a cell phone. I'm pretty sure a single season of anything on Netflix will go over 12GB.

Since the user was on T-Mobile, a cell carrier, that's exactly what I meant.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 16:59

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

Volmarias posted:

Since the user was on T-Mobile, a cell carrier, that's exactly what I meant.

Yeah, but the modem was providing service for the computers in the house VIA T-Mobile. So a 12GB cap, while big if only mobile data was being used is poo poo for home use.

In the end, gently caress Predatory Sales People.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 17:03

pr0digal: Sep 12, 2008; Alan Rickman Overdrive

Our HR team moved next to my office. The walls are super thin and I can hear everything.

The next few months until they move again are going to be peachy.

Also I love when PMs complain that "some laptops don't have Excel and Word" but when pressed for details are mysteriously silent... :doh:

# ? Aug 13, 2014 18:09

dogstile: May 1, 2012; fucking clocks
how do they work?

Sickening posted:

I really don't know why people are wanting this to be human piss so bad. Not every issue is so extreme.

I really want it to be human piss, I like it when I tell people IT stories and see their eyes widen. Pet piss doesn't have that effect.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 18:22

Orcs and Ostriches: Aug 26, 2010; The Great Twist

pr0digal posted:

Also I love when PMs complain that "some laptops don't have Excel and Word" but when pressed for details are mysteriously silent...

99% this seems more like "X doesn't have an obvious desktop shortcut."

# ? Aug 13, 2014 18:30

Alighieri: Dec 10, 2005

Orcs and Ostriches posted:

99% this seems more like "X doesn't have an obvious desktop shortcut."

A very very common ticket. "Program X has been uninstalled. Please re-install it immediately as this is hurting production." Remote into system, check the start menu, it's there, right click, send to/desktop (create shortcut).

# ? Aug 13, 2014 20:33

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Alighieri posted:

A very very common ticket. "Program X has been uninstalled. Please re-install it immediately as this is hurting production." Remote into system, check the start menu, it's there, right click, send to/desktop (create shortcut).

Check via inventory tool, yes you have it installed, please click on it via the Start menu, BCC boss, boss yells at employee for wasting IT resources.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 20:39

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

GreenNight posted:

BCC boss, boss yells at employee for wasting IT resources.

What sort of fantasy world do you inhabit?

# ? Aug 13, 2014 21:24

JohnnyCanuck: May 28, 2004; Strong And/Or Free

...from one of our new consultants, submitted on behalf of one of our clients where he's on project:

quote:

Hi Guys,

Can someone help <$SYSADMIN>. She is having an issue with a user account.

He used to be on our damned support desk. He knows better than to poo poo and run like this.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 21:29

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Who broke the thread?

Edit: Hey it's back.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 21:53

pr0digal: Sep 12, 2008; Alan Rickman Overdrive

Thanks Ants posted:

Who broke the thread?

Edit: Hey it's back.

A broken load balancer according to Lowtax's twiter

# ? Aug 13, 2014 22:26

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

pr0digal posted:

A broken load balancer according to Lowtax's twiter

Given the threads track history, it will be blamed on Dick Trauma.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 22:27

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

Sysadmin Support posted:

Hey everyone. I'm the new coder. You might remember me from such incidents as "the forums being down today" and "a lot of poo poo on the forums not working after it came back up". This is the thread where I'll talk about whatever relating to the technical stuff about the forums. Also feel free to ask questions or have comments or whatever.

So it turned out that the source code and config file repositories I got when I first got set up were not quite up to date and when I changed the copyright at the bottom of the page to 2014 and deployed to production, the nginx configurations travelled back to the before time and the load balancers dipped. So much for that. So hours later, it's back up using the newest configuration files but everything is loving broken still. Great. Turns out during deployment there's a step that extracts and minifies all the static assets using HTML comment delimiters. Only problem is those things are stripped out in deployment and I used the deployment code as a starting place (due to the fact that the live code had hotfixes in it), so none of the Javascript was getting deployed properly. So upon receiving copies of the latest templates with all the HTML delimiters in place, everything is hopefully back to normal once again, and my first day comes to a thrilling conclusion.

So yeah sorry about that and hey.

Don't test in production kids!

# ? Aug 13, 2014 22:29

pr0digal: Sep 12, 2008; Alan Rickman Overdrive

spankmeister posted:

Don't test in production kids!

He's going to start posting in here any day now

THIS IS AFFECTING ~~PRODUCTION~~ THE FORUMS

# ? Aug 13, 2014 22:35

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

m.hache posted:

Given the threads track history, it will be blamed on Dick Trauma.

Most of operations is at an out of town meeting that I didn't have to attend. It's been blissfully quiet. Won't last long!

# ? Aug 13, 2014 22:37

Commodore 64: Apr 2, 2007; The sky was the color of a television tuned to a dead channel that was orange

Subject: Pandora

Text:" "

I guess the natives aren't happy.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 22:47

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

m.hache posted:

Yeah, but the modem was providing service for the computers in the house VIA T-Mobile. So a 12GB cap, while big if only mobile data was being used is poo poo for home use.

In the end, gently caress Predatory Sales People.

I think we are in agreement? :confuoot:

# ? Aug 14, 2014 00:11

Zahmer: Jan 17, 2011

A ticket came in.

After two years of hiring people even more dumb than the ones that were fired, we have been asked to find some sort of web based pre-employment test for basic computer and Microsoft Office literacy. After searching around and taking the example tests from a few vendors, it seems that most of them aren't entirely English or are far too in-depth for the level of employee being interviewed (clerical).

Do any of your organizations already have something like this in place?

# ? Aug 14, 2014 01:03

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# ? May 16, 2024 07:51

J: Jun 10, 2001

Zahmer, we have a batch of new hires who will be attending a remedial computer skills course taught by you every saturday, starting last saturday. I expect a full report of how every class went sent to me no later than 6am the following sunday.

xoxo love you,
The Management

# ? Aug 14, 2014 01:13

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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