sweet thursday posted:

Well the thing I hate about football is there's too many testicles

Its Miller Time posted:

I was musing about today about how bad football commentary is. Can you name a single commentator or writer who actually discusses the strategy that goes on in a a game? What schemes the teams generally run, how they appear to have schemed for the game, how they countered each other and adjusted within the game, what plays they ran, why they ran them, how things are evolving or changed. FO gets there with some play-by-play analysis but it's exceedingly rare for how large the sport is.

MonsterWalk posted:

That Bro_Pair article is fantastic.

Before we crown Omar as the worst, let's remember the time PK stole a ball from a child. Then wrote about it with absolutely no loving shame.

Henchman of Santa posted:

Our man Peter with the most awkward tweet regarding Robin Williams:
https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/498982297757306882

Real Name Grover posted:

Its Miller Time posted:

I was musing about today about how bad football commentary is. Can you name a single commentator or writer who actually discusses the strategy that goes on in a a game? What schemes the teams generally run, how they appear to have schemed for the game, how they countered each other and adjusted within the game, what plays they ran, why they ran them, how things are evolving or changed. FO gets there with some play-by-play analysis but it's exceedingly rare for how large the sport is.

Chichevache posted:

I'm pretty sure I read about this before, but can you link it?

The_Hat posted:

The vast majority of people who watch football do not care at all about that stuff; mostly because they haven't been introduced to it. Of course, no one is willing to take the first steps in educating people about it, which is understandable when you think about just how many people watch football games in an environment where they can't even hear the announcers, let alone parse and understand what they are saying (sports bars, barbecues with friends, etc.).

It's much easier to just stick with the boring cliche crap, like how guys just look like winners.

Its Miller Time posted:

I was musing about today about how bad football commentary is. Can you name a single commentator or writer who actually discusses the strategy that goes on in a a game? What schemes the teams generally run, how they appear to have schemed for the game, how they countered each other and adjusted within the game, what plays they ran, why they ran them, how things are evolving or changed. FO gets there with some play-by-play analysis but it's exceedingly rare for how large the sport is.

Chilichimp posted:

Lemme tell you a little story 'bout a man named Gruden.

And a spider, a banana, the letter Y and his twin.

quote:

Jaws of all people used to be pretty good about this type of thing when he was new to TV, not in the detail you're talking about but they'd give him a full segment now and then on whatever NFL show and he'd break down a bunch of stuff pretty nicely. Now he's either willingly bought into the hot take bullshit or just gets used for it like the Kaepernick thing which is kind of sad in either case.

Badfinger posted:

They used to have an entire show called NFL Matchup that was specifically about Ron Jaworski and Merill Hoge breaking down game film and discussing it. It got marginalized and now I don't even know if it's on the air. Jaws and Hoge literally don't even have imdb credits for it. It's like the show never existed.

OBR posted:

I've been wondering about the lack of in-depth reporting as well. I'm from Europe and only started following football about five years ago, but still i don't get how even all kinds of NFL shows, podcasts etc. can reduce the game to QB vs. QB just about 99% of the time.

Peter King posted:

We walked into the lobby of the Holiday Inn Express, with the Tuesday USA Today and Cleveland Plain Dealer on the counter for those checking out. One problem. “We don’t have any reservations for you,” the front-desk gal said. We checked with our travel agent. Seems the reservation was made for Aug. 18, not Aug. 11. Next Monday. With no rooms available, our intrepid tour manager, Andy DeGory, got on the phone and found us rooms at the nearby Howard Johnson’s Motor Lodge.

Now it was 5:15, and we made it into the lobby of HoJo’s. Keys got dispensed, and we elevatored up to the third floor of the rather shabby place. Walking down the hall to our rooms, “rather shabby” got worse. The carpet on the floor stopped. The floor for the last half of the hallway was just cement. The place smelled. Just get in the room, just get in the room … How bad could sleeping be for 90 minutes? I thought. I put the key in my door and opened it.

The room looked trashed—either under construction or trashed. It was dark; I couldn’t exactly tell. And this voice from inside, weakly, waffled: “I’m … in … here.” Like some dying ghost.

Whoa! I closed the door. I went to the lobby.

“Might be a good idea when you give me the key to a room that there won’t be another person in it,” I said.

“W-w-w-what?” the front-deskman said.

I explained, and he said it must be a worker in the place who’d decided to sleep in an available room when it wasn’t occupied. As if I cared.

“Can you just give me a room? Any room without a person in it?” I said.

He did, and I went to another room at the Howard Johnson Motor Lodge, so happy to be at the Howard Johnson Motor Lodge, and praying that no living thing would be in the room.

There wasn’t. No idea if that included the bed bugs, but at least there wasn’t a living or comatose or dead person in the room, and that was something to be thankful for.

So I wouldn’t give the Howard Johnson Motor Lodge on the southern fringe of Cleveland a very high recommendation this morning.

football fuckerman posted:

Don Kreptowski was tired. Just like he was always tired on Tuesday mornings, when he worked the night shift at Hojo then straight into driving for Lou, loving loudmouth Lou his wife's cousin who was a hell of a plumber but had lost his license after that second DUI which was probably Lou's 200,000th instance of driving under the influence but was only the second time Parma police had gotten off their asses to catch him. poo poo, it meant a job for Don, $60 a day tax-free and Lou buying gas and dinner, which conveniently provided the briefest break from the man's goddamn motormouth. All the Marinellos talked, but Lou was the king.
He was talking now, of course, blending in the vaguest of directions to the next plumbing job--go up Snow Road, as if Snow Road only had one hill to go up--while swiping around on his smartphone and relating to Don the ins and outs of every single post on Facebook. This is what Lou did, he narrated Facebook from the passenger seat.
Then Lou was silent. His eyes got wide.
"Holy poo poo, Don. You're on the Internet."
"What?"
"You're in this football story. You guys rented a room to some reporter guy. You didn't tell me you had NFL guys at the hotel! You guys get NFL guys at the hotel? Says right here, look at this"--and he holds out the phone at 40 miles an hour, big fuckin surprise you lost your license, Lou--"This fuckin guy came into your hotel, look at this! He says you gave him a poo poo room! Says somebody was sleepin in his fuckin room, Don! You gave Peter King a poo poo room?"
"Who the gently caress--"
"He says here 'He said it must be a worker in the place who’d decided to sleep in an available room when it wasn't occupied. As if I cared.' As if I cared, he says!" Lou was laughing.
Don's fingers tightened on the wheel. He remembered that now. Fat Boston rear end in a top hat with a suitcase on wheels and a pinched-up face glued onto a loving flesh balloon of a head. The rear end in a top hat who thought an apology was an opportunity to increase his sneer and who smelled like a perpetual fart. "As if I cared, my rear end," Don thought. Of course that fat gently caress didn't care. He looked like the kind of guy who wouldn't care about anything that wouldn't fit down his gullet.
"gently caress that guy," Don said. "Ungrateful gently caress."
Lou was still laughing, telling him the Howard Johnson on the "southern fringe of Cleveland" was getting poo poo on in Sports Illustrated. No poo poo, fat Boston gently caress. This ain't the Hotel Monaco. How many people do you think are renting rooms at the Howard Johnson on the southern fringe of Cleveland in the first place? Don knew he'd get a phone call soon enough--or text message, more likely, since Jason, that pimply 23-year-old with a degree in Hospitality Management, didn't have the spine for a phone call. He squeezed the wheel harder. Better get used to Facebook narration, he thought. This just became a full-time gig.

Ehud posted:

@SI_PeterKing 7m
What a great city Denver is.

@SI_PeterKing 2m
DENVER-As Peyton Manning told me today with a wink, "Pretty good place for pizza, know what I mean?"



Did Peter King just hire a prostitute?

Ribsauce posted:

@SI_PeterKing
Manziel's reaction shows a guy who can be messed with, a rabbit-eared player. Not a good trait for a starting NFL quarterback.


Awww poor Peter must have gotten blown off by a rookie QB at training camp again.

PS I have no idea what rabbit eared means in this context.