board games are obviously the best megathread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > board games are obviously the best megathread

Broken Loose: Dec 25, 2002; PROGRAM
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Tekopo posted:

i nearly laughed out loud at this post i must admit

did you SEE the original post? it was seriously the crashed krikkit spaceship of trolling. it had everything:

serious gaylord posted:

I agree with your post about the conventions. However as I have posted about numerous times, you can play games in their stores, just most of the people in this thread don't want to take part in the small campaigns or big saturday participation games so choose not to.

for context: games workshop had a thing called gamesday which was a big convention for all their poo poo. over time, they took away the modelling workshops, painting contests, gaming tables, and literally everything but cash registers where you can purchase the same poo poo you can buy in their stores (at no discount, no less). eventually they CANCELLED it and then started it up again a while later under the name "warhammer weekend" (which nullified the "why can't you play games at gamesday" criticism)

now, this post kicks things off with a bang in the first loving sentence. it's ridiculous. i'm watching a goddamn tool-assisted speedrun of doubletalk and argument tactics. sentence 1 IMMEDIATELY disarms the viewer, because the ABSOLUTE FIRST THING you must do as a troll is lower the perceived tension.

serious gaylord (how is that name not a dead giveaway? that's straight out of the pink forums) then doesn't even pause to loving breathe before dropping the first bomb-- the viewer clearly missed something obvious. "as I have posted about numerous times" is dangerously close to parody, so he doesn't harp on it. he just establishes that you're dumb, btw

the rest of the sentence is brilliant. first, state something that SOUNDS like a fact but is either an outright falsehood or just insanely reductionist, your pick, THEN use a bucketload of anecdotal evidence to accuse a great amount of people that they're acting in a manner they would find shameful. even the example he uses are so specific that they could be defended without untruth, but they completely lack correlation with the prior sentence holy gently caress this is AMAZING! "you can have sex with adults instead of children, just most of the people in this thread don't want to go clubbing or pay for expensive dinners so choose not to." it's equal parts accusation and misdirection. i love it!

serious gaylord posted:

Numerous indies all complain about the big online retailers as they simply can't compete with their prices, yet get lambasted if they dont provide space for people to play with models often bought elsewhere.

okay, now some low-hanging fruit. use vague language, invent a boogeyman (the big online retailers are hurting gw's profits!), then insinuate that only people who don't follow gw's rules cause trouble. if i didn't know any better, serious gaylord is actually karl rove irl. the bit where there's only the two options of "games workshop everyman hero" and "parasite leeching off their hard work" is straight from the republican pr playbook.

serious gaylord posted:

I do not agree with what they're doing in Australia though. Its not the correct way to go about it.

and man, what an ending. at first, this looks like gaylord realizes the post is too thick and is dumping in 3 pints of water to distance himself from the company, but this line of thought contradicts the poo poo he literally just said in the previous paragraph. this is actually a spice! but what? then it hits you-- concern troll. it's insincere, condescending, and it completely breaks his position so you can't argue it. it's perfect.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:44

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 19:02

Broken Loose: Dec 25, 2002; PROGRAM
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serious gaylord posted:

You're welcome to believe I'm a troll just because I disagree with the hive mind hatred based on internet hearsay. Feel free.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:44

Broken Loose: Dec 25, 2002; PROGRAM
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i am in loving tears right now, that laughter going so long where your face starts to ache

# ? Aug 13, 2014 15:45

discount cathouse: Mar 25, 2009

You Mad

# ? Aug 13, 2014 17:40

stoutfish: Oct 8, 2012; by zen death robot

the man is putting far too much effort in his trolling. tg doesn't deserve him

# ? Aug 13, 2014 20:45

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

stoutfish posted:

the man is putting far too much effort in his trolling. tg doesn't deserve him

# ? Aug 13, 2014 21:02

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

he's the troll that tg needs, not the one that tg deserves

# ? Aug 13, 2014 21:22

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Broken Loose posted:

serious gaylord (how is that name not a dead giveaway? that's straight out of the pink forums)

The FYAD style isn't really to troll tabletop game threads with very specific commentary on some company's policy.

# ? Aug 13, 2014 22:55

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

FactsAreUseless posted:

The FYAD style isn't really to troll tabletop game threads with very specific commentary on some company's policy.

he's obviously deep undercover :tinfoil:

# ? Aug 13, 2014 23:06

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

gosh darn FYAD's got everyone all riled up again

# ? Aug 13, 2014 23:37

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

are you now or have you ever been a poster in the fyad forum?

# ? Aug 13, 2014 23:41

discount cathouse: Mar 25, 2009

we should do a tg jumanji simulwatch to honor our great fallen actor

# ? Aug 14, 2014 00:02

discount cathouse: Mar 25, 2009

a jumanji movie with space alert would be pretty baller

# ? Aug 14, 2014 00:05

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

Is it fascism yet posted:

a jumanji movie with space alert would be pretty baller

didnt that already happen, like jumanji IIIIIN SPAAAAACE

# ? Aug 14, 2014 00:10

welcome: Jun 28, 2002; rail slut

I've never played Warhammer, and I feel okay about that.

# ? Aug 14, 2014 00:22

Bubble-T: Dec 26, 2004; You know, I've got a funny feeling I've seen this all before.

The anger inspired by Mage Knight in people who can't handle a bit of arithmetic is just magical

welcome posted:

I've never played Warhammer, and I feel okay about that.

I have and now I wonder what the hell I ever enjoyed about it.

Bubble-T fucked around with this message at 03:04 on Aug 14, 2014

# ? Aug 14, 2014 02:07

Ralp: Aug 19, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I would prefer to see more posts about board games than posts about posts, please.

# ? Aug 14, 2014 02:32

Fellis: Feb 14, 2012; Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death, and uh, I can do all of them.

What is your favorite boardgame ralp

# ? Aug 14, 2014 03:01

Ralp: Aug 19, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I introduced my friends to Battlestar Galactica and that's all they want to play now. I am not sure that's my favorite though, hmm

# ? Aug 14, 2014 03:28

StashAugustine: Mar 24, 2013; Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

speaking of warhammer are there any good games that have point-buy army mechanics?

# ? Aug 14, 2014 05:37

Neurolimal: Nov 3, 2012

what are the subforum imp zone's "Board Barbarians" opinions on dream phone

Neurolimal fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Aug 14, 2014

# ? Aug 14, 2014 05:53

Broken Loose: Dec 25, 2002; PROGRAM
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Ralp posted:

I introduced my friends to Battlestar Galactica and that's all they want to play now. I am not sure that's my favorite though, hmm

i'm legit surprised, bsg is actually not a poo poo game

StashAugustine posted:

speaking of warhammer are there any good games that have point-buy army mechanics?

wm/h heh

# ? Aug 14, 2014 06:03

Ralp: Aug 19, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Broken Loose posted:

i'm legit surprised, bsg is actually not a poo poo game

I like it a lot but it's too long to be my favorite I think

It's not really a board game and I don't suspect Imp Zone thinks much of it, but one of my favorites is also One Thousand Blank White Cards.

# ? Aug 14, 2014 06:25

Bobby The Rookie: Jun 2, 2005

Ralp, you should get The Resistance: Avalon if you like the traitor poo poo in BSG but want a much shorter game.

# ? Aug 14, 2014 06:32

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

my favourite game is a eurogamey wargame that even wargamers dont like

# ? Aug 14, 2014 07:41

cenotaph: Mar 2, 2013

Only wargamers with lovely opinions.

# ? Aug 14, 2014 09:09

Jarvisi: Apr 17, 2001; Green is still best.

StashAugustine posted:

speaking of warhammer are there any good games that have point-buy army mechanics?

Warhammer: disk wars has a point buy system. Its also 20 bucks for the game.

# ? Aug 14, 2014 11:07

inSTAALed: Feb 3, 2008; MOP

n'

SLOP

I was forced to play Betrayal at House on the Hill last night and was instantly reminded how poo poo the game is when the haunt happened on turn two and the person doing the haunt accidentally killed themselves the very next turn.

Then we played Blokus and it was okay

# ? Aug 14, 2014 12:16

silvergoose: Mar 18, 2006; IT IS SAID THE TEARS OF THE BWEENIX CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS

Tekopo posted:

my favourite game is a eurogamey wargame that even wargamers dont like

me too

# ? Aug 14, 2014 12:29

Scyther: Dec 29, 2010

StashAugustine posted:

speaking of warhammer are there any good games that have point-buy army mechanics?

Fantasy Flight Games presents: Sir Richard Borg Esq.''s Battlelore 2nd Edition

# ? Aug 14, 2014 12:46

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

inSTAALed posted:

I was forced to play Betrayal at House on the Hill last night and was instantly reminded how poo poo the game is when the haunt happened on turn two and the person doing the haunt accidentally killed themselves the very next turn.

Then we played Blokus and it was okay

sounds like you had a good time :thumbsup:

seriously though guys if you like wargames and euros napoleon's triumph is brilliant

# ? Aug 14, 2014 12:53

Fellis: Feb 14, 2012; Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death, and uh, I can do all of them.

Ralp posted:

I like it a lot but it's too long to be my favorite I think

It's not really a board game and I don't suspect Imp Zone thinks much of it, but one of my favorites is also One Thousand Blank White Cards.

Better than every lovely apples to apples clone tbh. You should look into Coup i think you'd like it, resistance: avalon was also a good rec

# ? Aug 14, 2014 12:59

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

1kbc is okay i guess because at least you get to be creative, just make sure your friends aren't unfunny cretins (they probably are)

# ? Aug 14, 2014 13:00

Ralp: Aug 19, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Nominally, the game is all monkey cheese Fluxx poo poo, but that's just the game-within-the-game; I really like trying to create good well-worded cards and setting up interesting interactions between them. I play that sometimes with a group of friends who don't really have the attention span nor non-flakiness for something like bsg. Maybe they like it because It's Not Mind-Bendingly Difficult,, It's JUst fUN

# ? Aug 14, 2014 14:01

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

Ralp posted:

Nominally, the game is all monkey cheese Fluxx poo poo, but that's just the game-within-the-game; I really like trying to create good well-worded cards and setting up interesting interactions between them. I play that sometimes with a group of friends who don't really have the attention span nor non-flakiness for something like bsg. Maybe they like it because It's Not Mind-Bendingly Difficult,, It's JUst fUN

ralp you da best :shobon:

# ? Aug 14, 2014 14:04

inSTAALed: Feb 3, 2008; MOP

n'

SLOP

Tekopo posted:

sounds like you had a good time

seriously though guys if you like wargames and euros napoleon's triumph is brilliant

it was alright

i bought the khazad-dum expansion for lotr lcg when i was leaving and it looks hella tight

dwarfs

# ? Aug 14, 2014 14:09

Scyther: Dec 29, 2010

I'm gonna go ahead and assume sentinel tactics is just as bad as sentinels of the multiverse

# ? Aug 14, 2014 14:10

Tekopo: Oct 24, 2008; When you see it, you'll shit yourself.

inSTAALed posted:

it was alright

i bought the khazad-dum expansion for lotr lcg when i was leaving and it looks hella tight

dwarfs

i find it weird the the dwarves boost each other, giving you an incentive to get armies of dwarven cannonfodder

it just doesnt gel with the ~theme~ of dwarves

# ? Aug 14, 2014 14:12

inSTAALed: Feb 3, 2008; MOP

n'

SLOP

Tekopo posted:

i find it weird the the dwarves boost each other, giving you an incentive to get armies of dwarven cannonfodder

it just doesnt gel with the ~theme~ of dwarves

they are forming a dwarven megazord

it is common sense probably

# ? Aug 14, 2014 14:28

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 19:02

The End: Apr 16, 2007; You're welcome.

quote:

I don't really buy the "give it a few more tries!" defense when there are plenty of games that are great from the get go and don't need an investment in time and patience to continue being great.

Someone actually posted this, in a thread about board games. Like what the gently caress.

Yes, the game in question is notorious for dividing opinion, but this response is about the weakest bullshit I ever saw.

# ? Aug 14, 2014 14:49

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > board games are obviously the best megathread

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