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I would think it's one of those things where unless both parties are 100% into it it could cause some real problems. It's definitely not something I'd want to go into with the attitude of, "sure, maybe."
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Aug 10, 2014 06:39
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SuppressdPuberty93 posted:Anyone into cuckold sex? The gf brought it up today and not sure how i feel about it :/ There's certainly people really into the cuckolding fantasy, but I don't think there's anyone who's really a "maybe" on it.
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Aug 10, 2014 07:05
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hoobajoo posted:There's certainly people really into the cuckolding fantasy, but I don't think there's anyone who's really a "maybe" on it. The idea of it really turns me on. I'm not sure if the reality will bare the fruit I'm expecting. Can anyone describe their experiences with it?
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Aug 10, 2014 14:37
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I have a question about BDSM practices, is there a specific thread for that or can I come (hurr) here?
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Aug 10, 2014 17:04
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Tias posted:I have a question about BDSM practices, is there a specific thread for that or can I come (hurr) here? There was but it's long been archived, so ask away.
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Aug 10, 2014 17:47
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I'm getting into BDSM, and just heard about the "traffic light" type of progressive safe word. Allegedly, you use "red" to immediately stop the scene because your borders are being violated, "yellow" to ask for a lower tempo (or reconsidering the scene?), and "green" to express full satisfaction with a scene. I'd just like to hear from anyone who uses it how it works for them, and when they use red, yellow and green respectively?
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Aug 10, 2014 18:04
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What is it about compulsively oversharing that makes you thickwits unable to read? Shut the gently caress up about your kink, and don't respond to transparent trolls. It's pretty simple. Please stop ruining your own bad thread.
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Aug 10, 2014 18:08
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E: NM, thought it was directed at me.
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Aug 10, 2014 19:29
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Tias posted:I'm getting into BDSM, and just heard about the "traffic light" type of progressive safe word. Allegedly, you use "red" to immediately stop the scene because your borders are being violated, "yellow" to ask for a lower tempo (or reconsidering the scene?), and "green" to express full satisfaction with a scene. It works basically how it sounds, a word for good, a word for pause/slow, and a word for stop. I'll say there's no reason not to just say "No stop ow" as a safeword, all else being equal, and make sure to have a non-verbal safeword, like clapping, as backup. Also, know that a Dom can and should use safe words too. As to what the safewords exactly mean, and if you even want more than one, that comes down to individual preference and the demands of the exact activity you're doing. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Aug 10, 2014 |
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Aug 10, 2014 19:36
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Allright, thanks. I think I'll just talk it over with a prospective sub so we agree 100% on what means what.
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Aug 10, 2014 20:15
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Tias posted:Allright, thanks. I think I'll just talk it over with a prospective sub so we agree 100% on what means what. Cool. Also, if you're with a new partner, or even if not, it's always good fun to do a kink worksheet together. Link below, it's a great way to understand where you're each coming from and what you want to do and why. http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/02/concise-kink-worksheet.html?m=1
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Aug 10, 2014 21:38
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hoobajoo posted:There was but it's long been archived, so ask away. Does anyone have a link or some stuff for beginners? I've done very light dom/sub stuff and my partner is much more experienced and she (the sub) keeps pushing me to be rougher, I'm getting better but I'd really like to read up on say, how to use a belt right or whatever.
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Aug 10, 2014 22:02
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hoobajoo posted:It works basically how it sounds, a word for good, a word for pause/slow, and a word for stop. I'll say there's no reason not to just say "No stop ow" as a safeword, all else being equal, and make sure to have a non-verbal safeword, like clapping, as backup. The only problem I could see with that is if it's not clear beforehand that saying "no, stop" is actually a safe word meaning actually stop and not something that's being done as some verbal part of the scene. So definitely make sure of that.
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Aug 10, 2014 22:22
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Chakan posted:Does anyone have a link or some stuff for beginners? I've done very light dom/sub stuff and my partner is much more experienced and she (the sub) keeps pushing me to be rougher, I'm getting better but I'd really like to read up on say, how to use a belt right or whatever. Beginning light spanker here as well, would love to hear tips on how to smack my intensely horny girlfriend's bottocks with a belt, lightly of course. She's actually begging me, so help me goons.
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Aug 10, 2014 22:59
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I have heard some good about hair brushes, but I have not used one myself for that purpose, so perhaps someone who has could weigh in?
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Aug 10, 2014 23:29
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Kimmalah posted:The only problem I could see with that is if it's not clear beforehand that saying "no, stop" is actually a safe word meaning actually stop and not something that's being done as some verbal part of the scene. So definitely make sure of that. I think if you're not 100% SUPER SURE, "no stop" means "no stop". I've negotiated scenes where we were clear about only the safewords would pause or end things, and anything else means "keep going" and I still sometimes paused them in the middle to check. " Yellow, are you still good?" This kind of mid-scene check in obviously happens less as you get to know a partner and get comfortable with their body language, but I still check before every scene whether no means no.
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Aug 11, 2014 00:00
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Tias posted:Allright, thanks. I think I'll just talk it over with a prospective sub so we agree 100% on what means what. 'Talk it over and agree' is always the best strategy. Chakan posted:Does anyone have a link or some stuff for beginners? I've done very light dom/sub stuff and my partner is much more experienced and she (the sub) keeps pushing me to be rougher, I'm getting better but I'd really like to read up on say, how to use a belt right or whatever. http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/kink-resources/kink-101-resources/ The Pervocracy is also a good blog for this stuff. Spanking guy - start by barely tapping and build up slowly to find the level of spanking desired. Hairbrushes are more painful and stingy than a bare hand. The pointy bits are also used for pressing into sensitized post-spank skin which some people like. But basically the answer to all these questions is talking and experimenting. Unless you're doing breathplay or bondage, it's actually pretty hard to accidentally hurt someone seriously with kink stuff if you're starting uber-slow, communicating and not doing obviously stupid things like spanking her eyeballs. EDIT: And yes, no means no unless you have specifically arranged that no does not mean no. The stoplight system is awesome for a number of reasons: * If you are the kind of kinkster who plays publicly, most people will recognise your safeword (as it's kind of 'standard') and therefore realise if the cute Dom you met at the party doesn't listen to it. * It can be really useful to have a word for if you need to 'break character' and get a knot loosened or want to get hit less hard but still get hit. If you're playing that requests to stop don't actually make him stop, you need a word for that because otherwise your only option is actually safewording and breaking out of the whole scene. * If the top has a concerned face you can say 'Green' and reassure them without having to stop and have a conversation about whether you're okay. * All of the reasons any safeword is a really good idea if you don't want normal signs of reluctance or refusal to stop the scene. loki k zen fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Aug 11, 2014 |
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Aug 11, 2014 01:29
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Slo-Tek posted:What is it about compulsively oversharing that makes you thickwits unable to read?
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Aug 11, 2014 03:52
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E:// Nevermind, stupid question.
ManOfTheYear fucked around with this message at 23:24 on Aug 12, 2014 |
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Aug 12, 2014 22:52
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I've decided I want to get myself a butt toy but I don't have a clue where to start. I'm a cis male, I liked it the one time a guy used one on me and otherwise ??? What's the preference between the dong-shaped dildos and the twisty prostate simulators? What are some brands that cone recommended/scorned? What I do know I want: Body safe silicon with vibration Rechargeable (remembering to have batteries before I want to get off seems unlikely to happen) Rather spend more and have it last for ages Thanks for your advice fellow butt having goons
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Aug 19, 2014 21:06
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Flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base, flared base. For god's sake. Should be top of the list.
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Aug 20, 2014 00:13
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Note: That does not mean the base is made out of a signal flare.
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Aug 20, 2014 00:17
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I can read The Door Frame fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 01:18
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I don't honestly know of a good rechargable anal vibe-- vibes for butts are less common in general, and most that I know of just have a hole for a bullet. This has a hole for a bullet; you could replace it with a We-Vibe Tango, which is recharable and is straight-up the best bullet on the market right now. http://www.shevibe.com/vibrating-anal-toys.aspx is SheVibe's collection; they all look silicone but I can't speak for the quality of vibrations from any of these toys. I'd look for a review; there's nothing worse than shelling out and finding out you've got something buzzy.
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Aug 20, 2014 01:36
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Buh posted:I've decided I want to get myself a butt toy but I don't have a clue where to start. I'm a cis male, I liked it the one time a guy used one on me and otherwise ??? The njoy pfun plug does not vibrate but feels amazing and will last forever. It's metal so you can use any lube with it, the handle is really easy to grab even for a partner you're in the middle of, and you can wash it in the shower, dishwasher, where ever. There are a bunch of vibrating butt plugs but I'm not familiar with any vibrating prostate simulators.
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Aug 21, 2014 06:04
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So as a head's up for everyone who buys from Adam and Eve, I went back to my parents' for a nice dinner and happened to catch the mail, which had a big ol' indiscreet mailer for their $125 screaming gently caress deal. That's not ever an address I've had them mail to, so I have to assume that they got it as a billing address for a credit card I used several years ago. So if you're in my admittedly specific situation, brace for that. Also you might want to call them and opt out of this sort of thing, because the guy I talked to really didn't seem to get why sending unsolicited mail to the wrong address would be a bad thing for their customers.
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Aug 26, 2014 00:26
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betaraywil posted:So as a head's up for everyone who buys from Adam and Eve, I went back to my parents' for a nice dinner and happened to catch the mail, which had a big ol' indiscreet mailer for their $125 screaming gently caress deal. That's not ever an address I've had them mail to, so I have to assume that they got it as a billing address for a credit card I used several years ago. I got something like that from Good Vibrations once (not as big a deal since it was my own PO box). Just because they've got the discreet packaging thing down doesn't mean a company has figured out that maybe sending out catalogs with dildos and vibrators on the cover isn't something everyone's cool with.
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Aug 26, 2014 01:06
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khysanth fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Aug 26, 2014 21:35
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Buh posted:butt stuff check out Aneros's website. They're highly regarded and should have just about anything you could want.
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Aug 27, 2014 13:47
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I feel like sex toys deserve their own thread. It seems like they've taken over here.
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Aug 27, 2014 14:54
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Hey thread, can you help me out? I'm.. not the most experienced sex haver. I wasnt a virgin when I met my current gf, but it's pretty close. Anyway, I don't really have any clue what I'm doing, is the point. Before reading this thread, I was pretty anxious about doing things wrong or not meeting expectations, but at page nineteen, most of my earlier questions were already answered by the trifecta: 1. Communication, just talking to my partner 2. Stop thinking of sex of an activity that always has to be absolutely mind blowing and filled to the brim with toe curling orgasms but more like sexy-fun-playtime. 3. Butt stuff. Not quite sure yet how this can help, but it seems to have been the silver bullet to most issues so I guess I'll keep it in mind? Anyway, my most pressing issue is. I want to make her feel good, but she isn't the most communicative. When we're in bed, I ask her what I can do that she likes, and she tells me she doesn't know. First I presumed she just didn't want to tell me, but is it possible for a girl in het early twenties to just not know which body buttons to push that make her feel good? I don't want to interrogate the girl on what might be a sensitive issue, nor send her home with homework "two page essay on what feels good". Using my amazing sexual imagination, we tried missionary, her on top, and me doing oral, but she's as communicative as I am during the act itself (we're both quiet as little mice), so three position later, i still have no idea what works for her. Any idea on how I can get her to open up?
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Aug 27, 2014 17:37
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Talk afterwards and ask what she liked and what worked for her?
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Aug 27, 2014 17:40
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I did! She always tends to respond with 'that was fun/good'. Maybe she doesn't want to make me feel inadequate which is all kinds of sweet, but doesn't really help me nail specifics. I guess i could ask for which specific things, but earlier in the thread post-sex interrogation wasn't really recommended.
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Aug 27, 2014 17:47
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sweetbeets posted:I feel like sex toys deserve their own thread. It seems like they've taken over here. Yeah but then this thread would be even more glacial than it is. shelper posted:Anyway, my most pressing issue is. I want to make her feel good, but she isn't the most communicative. When we're in bed, I ask her what I can do that she likes, and she tells me she doesn't know. If she doesn't give you feedback before, during, or after sex, you're going to be stuck. It could be she's embarrassed to talk about sex, or a specific fantasy/kink she has, or she really just doesn't know what she likes. If it's the former, sex/kink worksheets can be really helpful for jump-starting talking about not just what you two like about sex, but why as well. These are more of a conversation starter and a group activity, to provide a little helpful structure. If it's the latter, the number one thing would be for her to explore sex by herself more as well. Ultimately learning how to make herself feel good is the best way to let you know how to make her feel good.
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Aug 27, 2014 17:50
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shelper posted:Hey thread, can you help me out? Yes, it's possible for a girl in her twenties to not know what she likes sexually. Sexually inexperienced people also tend to not realize that it's important to make an effort to show that something feels good when it does. If she's too inhibited to talk frankly about sex, you could tell her that it's a turn-on to hear her moan or watch her squirm when something feels good. A good thing to do might be to ask if you can watch her masturbate or suggest masturbating together so you can see what she likes to do to herself. Having a few drinks or smoking weed or whatever else will make you both a bit less self-conscious before you have sex or talk about sex can help too. That said, I've been in a relationship where the girl didn't know what she liked, had never masturbated regularly to even figure out what she liked, and also wasn't interested in really being open to talking about it or trying out different things to make sex more fulfilling. It was incredibly frustrating and basically killed the relationship. Issues like this aren't always able to be solved, and while it sounds like you have the right attitude, remember that it's also her responsibility to meet you halfway when it comes to making the sexual chemistry in the relationship work for both of you. Mechafunkzilla fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Aug 27, 2014 |
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Aug 27, 2014 17:54
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sweetbeets posted:I feel like sex toys deserve their own thread. It seems like they've taken over here. They don't.
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Aug 27, 2014 18:12
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Why do you think she isn't enjoying herself?
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Aug 27, 2014 19:07
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Yeah it helps to remember that a person can be enjoying sex without making a lot of (or any) noise or necessarily always having some crazy screaming orgasm. Not that you shouldn't put effort into her pleasure, just don't assume that it's bad sex because it doesn't sound like you're filming porn in your bedroom. As for your other question, it is entirely possible that she doesn't know. Girls/women are often discouraged pretty strongly from "touching themselves," exploring their bodies or sexuality at all. Plus sometimes it's not as straightforward or obvious as masturbation usually is for dudes. Kimmalah fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Aug 27, 2014 |
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Aug 27, 2014 19:37
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shelper posted:I did! She always tends to respond with 'that was fun/good'. Are YOU having fun? If you're having sex with her and moving your dick in ways that feel good to you, it's pretty likely they're things she likes. Stop worrying about it, keep doing what makes you feel good, and eventually she'll find a motion or position that sets her off. But if you're worrying too much about her enjoyment to the exclusion of your own, it'll definitely ruin her enjoyment. Also: be ok with bad (or just-ok) sex! Sex gets better as you get more experienced. Expect not to have MIND-BLOWING sex until you've done it literally dozens of times. And even then, you know what works for you and THAT person, not for others. Other misc. points: What condom are you using (if you are)? Buy a variety pack and try some others to see if there's one that works best for you. Are you using lube? Even if you think you don't need it, try it with lube - especially if you have a condom. Pjur is my recommendation. Have you guys tried giving each other handjobs? That's often a great way to learn what really works to set off your partner. And with girls especially, it's a great warmup to sex, and if you can give her an orgasm that way, it takes the pressure off to give her one during sex so you can just enjoy it. Toys? Does she have a dildo? Whip that out, have her show you how she uses it, and then you man the dildo on her. No one addressed your #3 point - I think you're not even close to ready for butt stuff. Hold off on that until you better know what you're doing elsewhere.
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Aug 27, 2014 19:58
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My gf was a virgin at 24 when we started daiting, and has never masturbated, and apparently doesn't have any desire to. On the plus side, sex is fun and we're (slowly) learning what works for her. It's not unusual for it to take a while to figure out, and her comfort level is going to play a big part in it. For example she's not comfortable with the idea of me going down on her. I've asked why, and she doesn't have a specific reason, but she's slowly coming around to the idea. We've tried lots of positions, none of which have managed to get her off (which is partially why I'd really like to go down on her, plus it's just fun), but she's having fun. Regardless, the main point here is that if she's having fun don't worry too much about it. Communication is key. The other thing is that you probably don't want to be quizzing her after every time you have sex about what worked. Occasionally go for it, but if every time you have sex you start questioning her right afterwards that's probably going to take a lot of fun out of it.
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Aug 27, 2014 20:03
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