Paladinus posted:

'Bless you, motherfucker.'
'You're going to the principal's office this instant, young lady!'

PUGGERNAUT posted:

Paladinus posted:

I'll have you know I am a gamer and therefore possess intellectual superpowers. Fear me, female.

Testekill posted:

Gotta love how he allegedly lost his poo poo. She was probably just trying to start a conversation and he just goes "gently caress YOU BITCH, YOU DUMB AND I'M SMART"

PUGGERNAUT posted:

walrusman posted:

When my grandma died, her garbage company wanted some completely unreasonable level of documentation of her death in order to cancel her service; off the top of my head, I think they wanted the original death certificate, not a copy, sent certified mail to their corporate HQ. After a long and exasperated phone call with some unhelpful customer service rep, my dad just screamed FINE, RUIN HER CREDIT and hung up the phone. He never heard from them again.

Bureaucracies really can be that absurd and insensitive in those situations.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

I think the real crime here is somebody named their kid Emileigh.

Captain Bravo posted:

"I'm sorry for your loss, but we must-"

Bertrand Hustle posted:

How does this even get said? How does a person manage to express condolences over a loss and then request to speak with the deceased? How can you go through life being that loving stupid?

walrusman posted:

When my grandma died, her garbage company wanted some completely unreasonable level of documentation of her death in order to cancel her service; off the top of my head, I think they wanted the original death certificate, not a copy, sent certified mail to their corporate HQ. After a long and exasperated phone call with some unhelpful customer service rep, my dad just screamed FINE, RUIN HER CREDIT and hung up the phone. He never heard from them again.

Bureaucracies really can be that absurd and insensitive in those situations.

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Yep. We had a hell of a time convincing the bank that dealt with our mortgage that the guy whose name was on it had died. We sent pretty much every form of paperwork you can get that says "This person is dead", and it didn't work even up to the point where they foreclosed on us (medical bills are a bitch). My SO at the time dealt with most of the phone calls (the deceased being his father), and I know he at one point offered to pay for a seance if it would satisfy them after the millionth "We can only speak with (dead dad)."

Testekill posted:

Gotta love how he allegedly lost his poo poo. She was probably just trying to start a conversation and he just goes "gently caress YOU BITCH, YOU DUMB AND I'M SMART"

nerox posted:

Privacy laws require that banks can never give out information about any account except to the person who is on the account or someone the account owner has given prior written approval. If you had opened his estate and become the executor or administrator, they would be able to talk to you when you gave them the letter testamentary.

Bargearse posted:

Something tells me this didn't happen exactly the way we're told it did.

quote:

Add "Bless you" to the list of words you apparently can't say in a public classroom.

A Tennessee teen who said exactly that to a classmate after they sneezed says she was removed from her classroom and punished with in-school suspension on Monday.

"She said that we're not going to have godly speaking in her class and that's when I said we have a constitutional right," Kendry Turner, a senior at Dyer County High School, told WMC after the recent controversy.

When Turner went to meet with school officials that same day, she says they agreed with her teacher. Turner claims that she was told that her First Amendment right to free speech and religion didn't apply at school. A list of other words and expressions allegedly banned by the teacher are seen.

"The assistant principal said if I didn't want to respect my teacher's rules then maybe my pastor should teach me because my freedom (of) speech and religion does not work at their school," Turner wrote on Facebook.

According to a photo taken from inside Turner’s teacher’s classroom and submitted to WMC, “bless you” is just one of several expressions banned from being used in the classroom.

The other words and expressions seen written on a white board are: "Stupid," "dumb," "boring," "stuff," "I don't know," "hang out," and "my bad."

Turner's parents said they met with school officials on Tuesday but were told that their daughter was punished because the comment was used in a distracting way after she shouted it across the room and then was combative with the teacher.

Some of Turner's classmates showed their support of her by wearing handmade T-shirts to school that same day. They read: "bless you."

"It's alright to defend God and it's our constitutional right because we have a freedom of religion and freedom of speech," said Turner.

bonestructure posted:

The other words and expressions seen written on a white board are: "Stupid," "dumb," "boring," "stuff," "I don't know," "hang out," and "my bad."

Aston posted:

This article has popped up on my facebook page, about a professor at Oxford University giving an atheist lecture and a hundred students walking out. Maybe it did happen, but something definitely rings false about it.

Also her writing style really irritates me, I can't put my finger on why it but it sounds like a teenager.

Aston posted:

This article has popped up on my facebook page, about a professor at Oxford University giving an atheist lecture and a hundred students walking out. Maybe it did happen, but something definitely rings false about it.

Also her writing style really irritates me, I can't put my finger on why it but it sounds like a teenager.

Aston posted:

This article has popped up on my facebook page, about a professor at Oxford University giving an atheist lecture and a hundred students walking out. Maybe it did happen, but something definitely rings false about it.

Also her writing style really irritates me, I can't put my finger on why it but it sounds like a teenager.

quote:

The cartoon was worse. As I have often done before, I suggested that one final trick of a desperate religion (I didn’t say quite that this time) is to forbid laughter. I warned any devout Muslims in the audience to look away as I showed one of the Danish cartoons. It’s so simple – just a bunch of terrorists arriving in heaven to be told, “Stop, stop, we ran out of virgins’. That normally gets a good laugh – along with sympathy for the cartoonists threatened with death for something so innocuous. Not this time. More walked out.

Aston posted:

This article has popped up on my facebook page, about a professor at Oxford University giving an atheist lecture and a hundred students walking out. Maybe it did happen, but something definitely rings false about it.

Also her writing style really irritates me, I can't put my finger on why it but it sounds like a teenager.

bonestructure posted:

Apparently it did, for the most part.


http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/tenn-teen-punished-bless-classroom-article-1.1911238

The kid and the teacher both sound like assholes.

Aston posted:

This article has popped up on my facebook page, about a professor at Oxford University giving an atheist lecture and a hundred students walking out. Maybe it did happen, but something definitely rings false about it.

Also her writing style really irritates me, I can't put my finger on why it but it sounds like a teenager.

quote:

Who am I?
Sue Blackmore is a freelance writer, lecturer and broadcaster, and a Visiting Professor at the University of Plymouth...She practices Zen, campaigns for drug legalization and plays in her village samba band, Crooked Tempo.

quote:

I am not a Buddhist. I have not signed up to any beliefs, joined any groups, or taken any formal vows. This is mainly because I fear that the memes of Buddhism can be as pernicious as those of any religion and because I dislike dogma in any form. I mention this because nothing I have written should be taken as having the authority of a Buddhist. I do, however, value the Buddha's insight, the teachings that have been handed down, and the practices I have been taught.

Boofchicken posted:

Yep, a girl definitely wrote that and left it there, no way you did it to seem like you have a girlfriend.

N. Senada posted:

According to that note, the girlfriend is named after that beer or the beer is the girlfriend.

jodai posted:

Haha, that's the best. "poo poo, what's my fake girlfriend's name? I know, I'll just put her initials...which are...um...K...CCO. Now to sit back and enjoy those sweet internet points."

Lap-Lem posted:

Don't you dare speak down to her! She has a PhD in Memeology from BSU! See right here, this document with a picture of a dog that says, "Wow! So Prestige!"

e. Or a silly looking cat that says, "Invisible Diploma! LOL!" your choice on that. Dual Major!

sweeperbravo posted:

No I think that's the joke though, you know?

I mean it's not a good joke at all but the guy is literally saying the beers are his girlfriend. You'll note the logo is also a bird, thus a crummy pun on "tit" as well

quote:

The teenager from hell was in my store last night.

A little background, I work for a large cell company in the US, and though I’m just a sales rep, the managers entrusted me with training a few of the new hires. One such new hire, who shall be dubbed Adam, calls me over to ask about options available for limiting a smartphones’ capabilities.

“Well, Smart Limits doesn’t work for that. The only way to cut off data is to go onto the app and manually do it.” I say, noticing the father give a resigned sigh.

“So you mean I have to be constantly monitoring him and shut him off? That’s so--”

“Why is that such a big deal, dad??” I look to my left and see a kid who looks as though he has a piece of dung taped under his nose. Hence why I’m going to call Shitnose. Or Alex I guess. He cuts off his father with a voice dripping with sarcasm, attitude, and contempt, topped off with a healthy slathering of self-entitlement. “You can just go on the app and shut it down if I use too much.”

The mother speaks up at this point, already ignoring the kid. “What about controlling the actual apps he’s allowed to use? Is there any way to do that?”

I look at the phone that they’re buying--the newest Samsung Galaxy--and shake my head. “Not with that one. The LG G3 has something called Guest mode where--”

“I don’t want that phone! That phone sucks, I want this one!” He brandishes the Galaxy at me like I’m a demon that he has to ward off, his already raised voice getting a few decibels louder.

“Um, no… that phone doesn’t suck. In fact I have both, and I prefer the LG. That’s why I actually bought it as my personal phone.” I frown at him, trying to figure out what the hell his problem is when the mother asks me what makes the Galaxy better than the G3. “Well actually, the only noticeable difference is that the Galaxy is waterpr--”

“No you’re wrong!” Shitnose cuts me off, again, and starts listing off “specs” that don’t even make any sense. Finally he gets to his last one, which is what really got me. “And the Galaxy has a better display!”

Adam and I laugh, because this is the first time he even made sense, and he was wrong to top it off. “Actually kid,” Adam pipes up, “the LG has a way better screen. Four times the resolution, to be exact.”

“No, cause the Galaxy has the amyoleed screen!”

“The what?”

“The amyoleed screen!”

I rub my forehead for a moment, trying to figure out--OH. “Do you mean the Super AMOLED screen?”

He’s starting to look frazzled, since he’s realizing we actually know what we’re talking about. “Yeah, yeah. That’s the one.”
I laugh again. “That means next to nothing. It only means that the black pixels are actually shut off. Quad HD kid.”
He folds his arms and gives us a little headbob. “Well I don’t care. I want this one. Dad, it’s not that big of a deal. You can just cut me off if I use too much.”

I blink at him in awe. “You realize…” I sigh, remembering I’m on the clock. “Nevermind. There’s so much I want to say right now, but I won’t.”

His expression gains a bit of satisfaction, he thinks he’s won. “So yeah, either you can just cut me off, or I’ll monitor myself."

“Alex, you already had that chance and blew it.” Mom is starting to get annoyed too. “You racked up hundreds of dollars in overages, you used 20 gigabytes of data in one month. You’ve been without a phone for two months to work it off… I think we’re just going to get the LG.”

“No, I don’t want that phone!” He leans forward, closer to me and his mom, and looks me dead in the eye. “And if you get me that phone and you limit me, I’ll just plug it into my computer and root it.”

“You’ll void the warranty.”

“I don’t care.”

“How exactly are you going to root it without the passcode?”

“I’ll… I… I have remote flashing software. I can bypass it.”

“Really. So you can do what even our warranty center can’t?”

"Yep. Otherwise… I’m a patient person. I can just wait. But I’m not having that phone."

“Wait for what, to turn 18 and buy your own phone with your own money? Because your parents have made it clear they’re not giving you this one.”

“Yeah. I don’t care. I’m a patient person. And I don’t see why YOU” --he rounds on his dad-- “can’t just shut it off!”

“Because your father is a doctor!” My exasperation is showing clear in my tone. “What if you’re using your Twitch or whatever it is and he’s in the hospital with a patient, or no reception, and you blow through the gigabytes again?!”

“And besides Alex, your father is a busy man. He and I have better things to do than keep track of you all the time.” I can’t believe the mom is still speaking in a level tone at this point.

“Alex,” I say, “how old are you?”

So much attitude. “Fifteen--ALMOST sixteen!”

I laugh. “What I was your age, I didn’t have a phone. I got one when I was 17, and that’s only because I was going to college and my boyfriend’s mother had one laying around… and you know what it was? One of those basic ones with the little slide-out keyboard. I didn’t have a smartphone until I was 18 and you know what I did then? I bought it myself and I paid for my own data plan.”

“HEY!” I look over at Adam, who has a huge smile on his face. Uh-oh, I gave him an idea. “Why don’t we get him a goPhone?”

I laugh, along with the parents. “Hey, that’s an option!”

Alex is horrified. “A goPhone??”

Mom nods. “Yep. Either that or you get this one.”

He looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm. “I… bu… that phone… I don’t want… FINE! I don’t care! Either you get me this phone, or you get me a goPhone! I don’t care! I’m not having the LG!”

I blink, speechless for a moment. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I know. I’m beyond ridiculous.”

I shake my head, then look at the dad and smile. “SO, what’s it gonna be, are we going to get him one with a little keyboard, or the little basic candybar phone with the numpad?”

Mom looks a bit confused. “What do you mean, it’s a choice between a physical keyboard and a--"

He cuts her off AGAIN. “Yeah, a physical keyboard or a digital keyboard.”

What? I look at him for only a moment, having almost totally lost my cool with him at this point. “You, be quiet. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I look at the mom. “I mean a physical keyboard, or the super old fashioned one with just the numbers.”

I swear the mom snickered at this point. “Oh, you mean the one where you have to press a key three times to get to “c”? Oh gosh… I guess we can get him the keyboard…”

Adam, who has had it by now (it’s at least a half hour after closing), claps his hands and starts to stand up. “Alright, goPhone it is!”

I look at Alex with a I’m-not-taking-your-poo poo-anymore kind of expression. “So, what’s it going to be Alex? Are you getting a goPhone, or are you going to lose the attitude and get the LG?”

He folds his arms again. “I’m a patient person. I don’t care. But I’m not having the LG.”

“Well, you’re not having the Galaxy.” Dad has had it. “So Adam, we’re going to do the keyboard one.

Adam and I realize that all the phones have been taken off the floor, and go on a search for a manager to let us into the inventory room. I’m shaking. Adam is getting pain in his chest. I end up walking into the breakroom instead of the inventory room because I’m just that out of it.

“Jesus christ! That kid… oh my god!!”

Adam nods, grinning. “Yep. poo poo, if I treated my dad like that I’d get my rear end kicked. Kid, you need a breather, stay back here for a bit.”

I take a few deep breaths and then follow him back out onto the floor, heading back over to where mom and Alex are, and I look Alex dad in the eye. “There is soooooo much I want to say to you, but I’m holding my tongue so hard… you have no idea.”

Mom looks at me, her eyes pleading. “Can you… would you say what’s on your mind? I want to hear it. He needs to hear it.”

“Are you positive?” She nods and I look back at Alex. "You better wise up, quick.” My tone is unforgiving. I didn’t even know I could sound this cold. “I’ve got a newsflash for you. I’m not that much older than you. I was you, five years ago. I treated my mom like she was nothing. You’re lucky to have parents that put up with everything you think it’s okay to put them through. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, because I’m so sure that other people have seen the way you treat them. I lost my mom for a long time because of how I acted when I was a stupid teenager. And I am so lucky that she took me back. Cause guess what? When you’re 18 and you think you have the world, you’re going to realize… when you don’t have gas for your car, or money for rent, and our fancy little phone doesn’t work because you didn’t pay your bill, you’re going to wish you hadn’t alienated your amazing parents. Figure it out, kid. Before it’s too late. Because you need them more than you’ll ever know.” And with that, I picked up my iPad and walked away to help Adam activate the goPhone.

“Dude, Ruby.” he laughs quietly, his voice low enough that only I can hear him. “Mike (the manager) just came over and asked me what the hell you were thinking, talking to that kid that way….”

Well, I had to explain that one. But I didn’t get in any trouble, and man did it feel good to finally put a lovely customer in their place.

Edit: Wow reddit. Downvoting almost every one of my comments, even the ones that I'm trying to legitimately help people save money, just because you don't agree with what I said to the stupid kid? What a great community you guys are. I guess I'm not good at judging the situation and acting accordingly. I guess the fact that the mom thanked me after and came back the next day asking for me by name to buy the phone for herself means nothing and you internet strangers are much better at judging a situation than someone who was actually there. I guess the fact that they left Adam a great review doesn't matter either. The story was already long. I didn't feel I needed to add every detail of how affirming the parents were to what my coworker and I were saying. You guys are unbelievable.