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 PART 43: Interlude: Reviving the Roman Name (1666-1677) Paradox Forums > Fun Forums > AARs and Fanfiction - General Discussions > EUIV: After Action Reports (AAR) > Imperium Romanum Sacrum: A Roman Empire AAR KaiserHeinrichIVSalian Field Marshal  Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 11,921  IMPERIUM ROMANUN SACRUM: A ROMAN EMPIRE AAR Welcome to my second AAR! You might remember me from my previous Crusader Kings 2 AAR, Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest. (Thanks to landoIII for making the Playable Pope MiniMod and Free CB for Catholics Against Orthodox MinMod, without which it never would have been possible.) This time, I'll be playing Europa Universalis IV. We'll be playing as what the game insists on calling the "Holy Roman Empire", even though we all know that they were the true inheritors of the Roman legacy ever since Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne Emperor of Rome. We're going to start in the 1666 bookmark-- that's the earliest one after the "Roman Empire" became the "Commonwealth of the Romans" and forfeited any remaining claim they might have had to translatio imperii. This will be in a narrative story format. Please also note, when referring to the Commonwealth in game, I use the words "Greek" or "Byzantine" very often. This is simply because the characters in this AAR would not consider those schismatic dogs in the East "Romans", any more than they would entertain Russia's claims of being "Third Rome". It should not be construed as any kind of bias on my part. All images © to their owners. House Rules I will not be using any of the kind of gamey tactics Paradox encourages as they continue to cater to casuals such as "vassal feeding", "blocking straits", or "diplomacy". I will play as historically and realistically as possible. Goals Primary Goal:  Secondary Goal:  Final Goal:  –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Imperium Romanum Sacrum: A Roman Empire AAR (ongoing) Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest AAR (completed) RömischerKönig Field Marshal  Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 3,211 Subscribed! Always good to see another HRE AAR! Be sure to check mine out as well. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Holy, Roman, and an Empire: A German Reich AAR Legacy of Charlemagne: Events & Flavor for the German Reich in EU4 The Rising Sun of Avalon: A FujiwAARa Empire My AwAARds: 8x ACA AwAARd recipient (6x 1st Favorite), 4x Character WritAAR of the Week, 3x WritAAR of the Week, 3x Showcase, Fan of the week 1/03/09 & 9/02/14 fhfh778 Major  Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 657 subbed  hope u can still do it even tho paradox hates german ppl so much–––––––––––––––––––––––––––– REBEL FLAGS: boycotting paradox until they release magna mundi, fix germany, nerf france in all games. **** the BBB!!!! add to yr sig if you agree KaiserHeinrichIVSalian Field Marshal Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 11,921 PROLOGUE: Neuruppin, Roman Empire, 1666 A PLAN IS HATCHED  Engelbrecht Selasinky, soldier of Rome, walked through the empty streets of the grand imperial capital of Neuruppin, Germany. A heavy burden weighed on his heart: the losses of precious Holy Roman territory to the hateful Poles and their French puppetmasters. The sky was as grey as the color of the empire on the map he kept in his study. A poster fluttered on a wall, calling for more men for Kaiser Cain von Habsburg's Army. "Can Cain keep us safe from the Greeks..." he asked to the uncaring night air, not caring who heard. He was an honorable man who would do anything for the empire, and he commanded the respect of his men.  Cain I von Habsburg, Imperator Romanum Suddenly, the gritty young soldier felt a hand on his shoulder, but not the ironclad gauntlet of an imperial guardsman, or the leatherclad gauntlet of an imperial spy, but the light touch that could only be a beautiful young woman.  The Princess Branwen von Habsburg "I heard what you said about the Greeks..." intoned the woman. The soldier eyed her. She was wearing the low-cut dresses so popular with the ladies of the time and was so fair and beautiful she could only a princess of the imperial blood. Branwen I von Habsburg. The soldier decided to probe her defenses. "I was simply asking a question, my lady..." he replied, "Far be it from me to question the honor of your father the Emperor for I am but a humble soldier, my lady" The princess laughed, her golden tresses cascading down her pale white neck, "Nonsense, you are the great Engelbrecht von Brandenberg, general of the imperial army— right hand of the empress." "The empress...?" queried Engelbrecht, "But... ah. Yes, you would look quite fetching in imperial purple." "Then we are in agreement," Branwen agreed. She kissed her champion on his stubbled cheek.  He led her back to his Neuruppin estate to finalize the details of their plan. Personally. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Imperium Romanum Sacrum: A Roman Empire AAR (ongoing) Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest AAR (completed) RömischerKönig Field Marshal Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 3,211 Bravo! The characters are so real! This is just like reading a historical novel. You're the next Harry Turtledove or S.M. Stirling! One thing, though. Wasn't Branwen von Habsburg born in 1609? She would have been in her fifties in the 1660s, if my math is right. Still! A minor nitpick in a tour de force of an AAR!  –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Holy, Roman, and an Empire: A German Reich AAR Legacy of Charlemagne: Events & Flavor for the German Reich in EU4 The Rising Sun of Avalon: A FujiwAARa Empire My AwAARds: 8x ACA AwAARd recipient (6x 1st Favorite), 4x Character WritAAR of the Week, 3x WritAAR of the Week, 3x Showcase, Fan of the week 1/03/09 & 9/02/14 KaiserHeinrichIVSalian Field Marshal Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 11,921 Chapter I: Neuruppin, Roman Empire, 1670 LONG LIVE THE EMPRESS  The busy harbors of the great maritime city of Neuruppin The bells rang out mournfully in mourning of the emperor Cain I von Habsburg who had died in a tragic window accident. Only Engelbrecht and Branwen and several burly but loyal retainers knew what had really happened to the emperor. An unfortunate affair, but like his fortunate affair with the princess Engelbrecht knew that one must make hard decisions to save the Roman Empire in a time of crisis.  The assassination of Emperor Cain The bells rang a mourning toll but to Engelbrecht's ears they were cause to celebrate. The Greeks would be punished for their cruel conduct to the Pope. The French would be punished for their insolence and general heir of Gallic arrogance. The Poles would be punished for their various crimes as well. Rome and the von Habsburgs would rule Europe once again.  Branwen von Habsburg, Imperiatrix Romanum He looked at the new Kaiserin as she lounged in her throne, watching the famous chariot races at the Neuruppin hippodrome. Oh, he knew that she'd have to marry for political reasons. It was fine by Engelbrecht. He knew in whose hands she had really placed her destiny. "War is coming, my lady..." he reminded his empress. "The Greeks, the Gauls, the Danes, the Poles— all covet the fleeting glories of Rome." The empress regarded the newly promoted general demurely. "Build me an army..." she gently ordered. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Imperium Romanum Sacrum: A Roman Empire AAR (ongoing) Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest AAR (completed) KaiserHeinrichIVSalian Field Marshal Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 11,921 Chapter II: Neuruppin, Roman Empire, 1671 THE NEW LEGIONS OF ROME  The Neuruppin Forum, heart of Roman Imperial power General Selasinky surveyed his troops proudly. He was so proud of them, lined up in the forum, golden standards and steel armor alike glinting in the rising Roman sun. "Men of Rome," he announced, "It is our mighty legions that made us foremost among the civilized nations, scourge of Greek and Gaul alike. And if we'd known where Denmark was back then, we probably would have conquered them as well. We will avenge the Pope! We will avenge Germany! We will avenge fallen Norway! We will avenge Britannia losing a war against the Ayiti that one time! For now we live in an age of global empires. First Germany, then Europe, then the world!" "S.P.Q.R.!" cried out the men in one booming voice. The forum echoed with the clatter of musket on shield. "I can't hear you...?" asked of his men Engelbrecht. "S.P.Q.R.!" yelled the men loudly.  Legate Engelbrecht Selasinky leads the Legion of Germania in an exercise He drank in their adoration, putting his hands on the hot stone of the balcony and leading forward. He continued, "I have in my hand a papal bull from Silvarius IV himself! From the Holy See of Orbetello, he bids us to at long last restore order to what has been lost to Christendom by centuries of heresy, foreign invasion, and heathenry, in his name and God's! For the P in SPQR stands not just for people, but also Pope." "Hail Caesar!" cheered the Legions.  The cowardly Greeks who usurped the empire for their own nefarious purposes  The Holy Roman Legion routing a Greek army "You must never forget-- you are the legions of Rome! While those pathetic wretches in Constantinople are beset by strife and chaos as their peasants tear down the edifice of state for the false dreams of dead Athenians, you are the true inheritors of Augustus Caesar himself! Loyal to a strong empress of a strong empire!"  Rioting overtakes false Byzantion as serfs despoil the Holiest of Holies Engelbrecht raised his hand in a Roman salute. The men all saluted back. Behind the balcony's curtain, unseen by the Legionaires, the beautiful young empress waited. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Imperium Romanum Sacrum: A Roman Empire AAR (ongoing) Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest AAR (completed) RömischerKönig Field Marshal Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 3,211 Wow! That was exciting! I felt like I was really there! Can't wait for the next update! –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Holy, Roman, and an Empire: A German Reich AAR Legacy of Charlemagne: Events & Flavor for the German Reich in EU4 My AwAARds: 8x ACA AwAARd recipient (6x 1st Favorite), 4x Character WritAAR of the Week, 3x WritAAR of the Week, 3x Showcase, Fan of the week 1/03/09 & 9/02/14 KaiserHeinrichIVSalian Field Marshal Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 11,921 Thank you! I don't want to give too much away, but the next one is pretty exciting. I'm finally unpausing the game!–––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Imperium Romanum Sacrum: A Roman Empire AAR (ongoing) Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest AAR (completed) KaiserHeinrichIVSalian Field Marshal Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 11,921 Chapter III: Neuruppin, Roman Empire, 1672 THE MOMENT OF TRUTH  The Reichstag demonstrates their support for the Empress "The worst has happened," the empress sobbed, "The Danes have attacked our loyal provincial governor in Britannia! The Greeks have sided with them!"  "So have the French!"   Isabeau I de Valois-Vexin  Queen Margareta I af Belev of Scandinavia  Emperor Alexios Radziwill the Greek "It's all coming apart," she sobbed again. "Fear not, my lady" said Engelbrecht Selasinky, kissing her hand, "The diet has voted for war. Already I have mobilized your legions for you on a grand invasion of Gaul."  She embraced him, drawing from his strength. "You're so brave and strong," she whispered. "I will not fail you," answered Engelbrecht.   –––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Imperium Romanum Sacrum: A Roman Empire AAR (ongoing) Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest AAR (completed)
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Aug 26, 2014 05:43
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Where's the borderline racist nationalism and refusal to acknowledge anything outside of Europe/Asia/Africa as having history?quote:Kingdom of Heaven: A Papal World Conquest AAR (completed)
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Aug 26, 2014 05:51
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 I hope the research required for this wasn't too painful.
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Aug 26, 2014 05:53
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Rincewind posted:
Oh lord in heaven. 
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Aug 26, 2014 05:55
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....I can't say I saw this update coming. Very good work!
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Aug 26, 2014 06:00
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Silly German nationalists who are unable to recognize First Neo-Francia as the true heir of Charlemagne's Empire.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:00
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So how does this compare to the sillier Byzantium-fellating AARs? (Of course this LP is well-written/well-researched/well-whatever; "Byzantium" just has a certain reputation in the circles surrounding Paradox games.)
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Aug 26, 2014 06:08
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Rincewind posted:
 Magnificent. Although there are some diamonds in that rough to be found, they're few and far between.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:15
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NGDBSS posted:So how does this compare to the sillier Byzantium-fellating AARs? (Of course this LP is well-written/well-researched/well-whatever; "Byzantium" just has a certain reputation in the circles surrounding Paradox games.) If you are talking about the LP, it is masterful. Definitely worth a read. If you are talking about the AAR, it is true to form, and winner of many AARwAARds.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:24
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NGDBSS posted:So how does this compare to the sillier Byzantium-fellating AARs? (Of course this LP is well-written/well-researched/well-whatever; "Byzantium" just has a certain reputation in the circles surrounding Paradox games.) This meta-AAR is almost literally word for word what many Paradox AAR's are like; don't forget they have silly rules like 20 screenshots per update, and one update per 3 hours or w/e, as well as requiring mod approval before having any thread participation.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:25
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You didn't have one of those posts where the OP responds to like eight commentators in the same post.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:25
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...and then the forums collapsed into a meta black hole. So, did nothing interesting really happen to the Commonwealth directly during an update period, or did you just break this out for the fun of doing it? Edit: also, wow. At first I thought this would be a big jump for Scandinavia and was going to ask if they'd climbed onto the great powers list. And then I looked closely to see how much land they'd gained from the HRE. Alt-history was not kind to the old empire, was it. Akratic Method fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Aug 26, 2014 |
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Aug 26, 2014 06:30
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The next update will backtrack slightly to cover the One Interesting Thing that happened in between 1666 and 1672.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:34
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Rince, I would like to present to you the Deutschen Lieben AARward for your work here spreading the true history of the Germanic People. Bravo!
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Aug 26, 2014 06:40
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Now my mind is going to Frozen/Star Wars slashfic and it HURTS, drat YOU. It HURTS.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:45
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That was excellent. An AwAARd well-earned.
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Aug 26, 2014 06:52
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I finally realized why I don't read AARs. With all that "narrative" going on my eyes just glaze over. Where's the loving screenshots of the game guys? I want to read an AAR, not your fanfiction. 
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Aug 26, 2014 06:59
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I haven't actually read a Paradox forum AAR. Are they all like this or is it just for the popular nations?  Screenshots from other games excluded since I don't think they would do that. Well I hope not. Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 07:03 on Aug 26, 2014 |
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Aug 26, 2014 07:01
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unsubscribed 
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Aug 26, 2014 07:06
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Dreamsicle posted:I haven't actually read a Paradox forum AAR. Are they all like this or is it just for the popular nations? They are not ALL like that, but AARs in this style DO exist and I don't think there's anything to suggest their readership is more restricted compared to those that don't approach fanfic levels of writing.
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Aug 26, 2014 07:39
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YF-23 posted:That was excellent. An AwAARd well-earned. Was unhistorical bullshit! You are racist bastard! Mods please ban for racist! Such bullshit! Ich keine Hilfe und Psychiatrie brauchen! Fick dich Papa!
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Aug 26, 2014 08:18
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Beautiful. The defenestration of Neuruppin will live long in the memory.
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Aug 26, 2014 09:09
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I love that only two people reply. Really captures the desolation of the AAR forums.
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Aug 26, 2014 09:10
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Dreamsicle posted:I haven't actually read a Paradox forum AAR. Are they all like this or is it just for the popular nations? The only unrealistic part of this update is the fact that the narrative does not go on for paragraph upon paragraph upon paragraph about what random throwaway government ministers had for lunch in-between discussing tax policy. Seriously, if each block of text were about ten times their current size you could stick this on the Paradox AAR forums and nobody would bat an eye. That's almost literally true, by the way - they're not much for criticism on the Paradox AAR forums. A more beefed up version of this probably would pass muster despite the over-the-top silliness. Also, screenshots from other games absolutely do get used from time to time. Having about two screenshots of the actual game going on per update isn't uncommon, and it's not a surprise to come across updates sometimes that have no images of the game going on at all. So yeah, Rincewind did her homework - unfortunately for her! Edit: I particularly liked the bit about banging muskets on shields.
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Aug 26, 2014 10:08
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Dreamsicle posted:I haven't actually read a Paradox forum AAR. Are they all like this or is it just for the popular nations? There are some very good Paradox AARs - the CK1 one where the author tries to conquer in alphabetical order is pretty good. There are an awful lot exactly like this though! The only thing missing is that the writing is usually worse. Screenshots from other games aren't excluded either, that was a pretty typical use of them in the update.
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Aug 26, 2014 10:30
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I'll admit I've read a few really self indulgent Paradox Forum AARs, I don't think I've ever seen one use non-period pictures for anything before. Was there any one AAR in particular that inspired this? Cause I bet that if there is, it's hilarious.
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Aug 26, 2014 10:39
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Tomn posted:Also, screenshots from other games absolutely do get used from time to time. Having about two screenshots of the actual game going on per update isn't uncommon, and it's not a surprise to come across updates sometimes that have no images of the game going on at all. I remember a V2 AAR that had about three updates before the game came out. It wasn't done by a beta tester or a pirate. Good job, Rince. You must have lost a bit of sanity putting this one together.
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Aug 26, 2014 10:46
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The memories I've repressed... returning. OH GOD 
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Aug 26, 2014 11:05
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So uh... is the usage of terms, imagery and uh... everything that are from the wrong time period, culture and nation also common? Are they intentionally out of place and time by the fake LP'er up there as part of the rome rome rome german rome thing he's on about, or is that what we are supposed to think these alt-timeline paradox forumgoers (and by extension, real paradox forumgoers) think that the HRE was like at the time?
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Aug 26, 2014 11:07
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Brilliant. I think the best bit was his promise not to use gamey tactics such as 'diplomacy' though 'And if we'd known where Denmark was back then, we probably would have conquered them as well' was also a highlight.
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Aug 26, 2014 11:54
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Rincewind posted:
Now that I've re-read it, those are,probably my favourite parts, especially the AAR writer needing a free CB mod.
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Aug 26, 2014 14:19
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Dreamsicle posted:Now that I've re-read it, those are,probably my favourite parts, especially the AAR writer needing a free CB mod. Only on orthodox schematics, though. Totally historical.
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Aug 26, 2014 14:55
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This LP.
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Aug 26, 2014 14:58
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:Only on orthodox schematics, though. Totally historical. 
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Aug 26, 2014 15:14
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:Only on orthodox schematics, though. Totally historical. Ratoslov posted:Schismatics. No, he was right first time.   
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Aug 26, 2014 15:31
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Ratoslov posted:Schismatics. Phone posting 
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Aug 28, 2014 07:02
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YF-23 posted:Offensive is definitely a good idea tree and forced march can help a lot in coordinating army movements but it's not exactly necessary. I'd argue that defensive and quantity are more important because the first can buy you the time to fix any mistakes you make and quantity gives you the capability to even the numbers if you're not as big as your enemies. Quality also helps with that as well but I more often find myself wanting a larger army than a more efficient army. Coordinating army movements is nice, but it's routing the enemy by keeping up with broken armies (which seem to move a tiny bit less than the 250% boost) that really counts (most effectively seen by charging across the border to catch an enemy not mobilized/maintained/rallied, far larger powers can be felled this way... though this is merely one gimmick (that can break major powers if you proceed to utilize rebels and/or organize a musical chairs of sitting on their face with your allies), not the bread and butter of the paradigm shift that is force march). It's rare to see wars between long-term MP campaign players not be decided by the routing of large stacks (can and will easily mean the death of hundreds of thousands of soldiers in the aftermath of a single decisive engagement by mid-game). It's the express route to drinking tears. I agree the rest of Offensive is not decisively better than defensive or quality (I'd say defensive is better for early game war except for the massive exception of force march). Unless one is playing a colonizer or a trader offensive is a must have. Even as one of those exceptions I always get offensive second if it's an MP game. If it's SP the AI can be outmaneuvered even at 3-4 speed, but it looks like Byzantium could really use the decisive advantage to retake all those cores fast. I won't say there aren't exceptions to military ideas, but they're few and far between, island nations mostly for maritime/naval and extremely lopsided land powers (mountainous countries, Russia... though I'd still get force march for such land powers unless I was sure I'd lose). Force march is by far and wide the most reliably tool to rout the enemy. Without it the only way to encircle the enemy is to control their destination or cut them off with naval power. Attain local superiority, rout the enemy. Rinse, repeat, victory. Absolutely devastating if one has more troops, even against heavily defensive powers it allows one to siege at ease. Against evenly matched numbers it is decisive. Against superior numbers it offers a chance of translating tactical into strategic victories. Against massively superior enemies who can block your entire military from routing one of their stacks by intercepting with another stack (which is very rare otherwise unless it's an allied stack coming in from different borders) defensive will offer provinces a slightly slower death that does more damage, though force march can make up for some of that with hit and run attacks and/or running away to camp your army in a friendly nation with an access treaty (moreso if it's SP the AI won't be prepared for hit and runs or diplomaticize to get you thrown out). Readingaccount fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Aug 31, 2014 |
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Aug 28, 2014 11:10
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NGDBSS posted:So how does this compare to the sillier Byzantium-fellating AARs? (Of course this LP is well-written/well-researched/well-whatever; "Byzantium" just has a certain reputation in the circles surrounding Paradox games.) Not to ruin the joke but this is clearly based on someone taking over the byzantines in 1444 when they're nearly finished and restoring them to full strength. The gag is that in this timeline you'd get people fetishing the early killed off holy roman empire instead because the byzantines are too big and healthy to have the same underdog feel.
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Aug 28, 2014 11:53
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YF-23 posted:Offensive is definitely a good idea tree and forced march can help a lot in coordinating army movements but it's not exactly necessary. I'd argue that defensive and quantity are more important because the first can buy you the time to fix any mistakes you make and quantity gives you the capability to even the numbers if you're not as big as your enemies. Quality also helps with that as well but I more often find myself wanting a larger army than a more efficient army. I'm not sure I'd hold quantity in that much esteem. It's definitely improved since launch. However, manpower and numbers are not at the top of the military hierarchy. Leaders and technology are about one order of magnitude more important than manpower and units. Ultimately, leaders and technology are the deciding factors in war. If you have superior leaders and/or technology, then the game will happily hand you victories so lopsided that manpower differences are nullified. Fights where you lose 40,000 to their 583 are neither pretty nor at all unlikely, given how heavily stacked the combat priorities are. At that point, you need 40x the manpower of the other country, which is a highly unlikely scenario. It's when your technology and leadership are at parity that manpower can tip the scales. However, if you're missing the latter two elements, manpower and army size will very rarely net you a win, regardless of their size. Prussia pretty much always beats Russia in EU4.
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Aug 29, 2014 20:54
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Akratic Method posted:Yep. Just hanging out right in the middle of Yilang. I feel like Yilang makes a lot more sense if you assume the Caspian is basically a yilang lake, with regular boats and maybe even bridges. That way the entire empire isn't so split and it becomes more like the way sweden controlled land at both sides of the baltic with no land joining them together or the way romans/carthagians/greeks/venice/genoa had various non contiguous land around the med.
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Aug 29, 2014 21:34
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