CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Alexzandvar posted:

You have described exactly the reason this is causing a melt down for so many people in "games journalism"

no i get that but i see people splitting hairs about this writer or that writer on their favorite site and i just don't loving get it. why do any of you care about any of these people's opinions?

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:19

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 06:09

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Proteus4994 posted:

no i get that but i see people splitting hairs about this writer or that writer on their favorite site and i just don't loving get it. why do any of you care about any of these people's opinions?

I like seeing hipsters angry and saying dumb things also when the gently caress is la-mulana 2 coming out?!

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:20

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Jesus Christ all these tryhards are going to make me look bad for hating games journalists because of what they are rather than their pathetic attempts a societal reform.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:21

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

Proteus4994 posted:

no i get that but i see people splitting hairs about this writer or that writer on their favorite site and i just don't loving get it. why do any of you care about any of these people's opinions?

Nobody actually cares about the opinions of game journalists though. If you wanted to make a list of all video game journalists you shouldn't read articles from it would be absolutely every single one. Ironically the only good video game journalism site is forbes.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:22

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

i'm betting most of the people in this thread who have VERY STRONG OPINIONS about the escapist or giant bomb completely unironically poo poo on people who read huffpo or salon or buzzfeed when it's exactly the same trashy clickbait and horribly written garbage

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:22

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

basically what i'm getting at is that however stupid it is to get worked up over video games it's infinitely more stupid to get worked up over games journalists

i'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that this patrick klepeck dude that everyone hates is only marginally worse than every other writer on that site

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:24

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Proteus4994 posted:

i'm betting most of the people in this thread who have VERY STRONG OPINIONS about the escapist or giant bomb completely unironically poo poo on people who read huffpo or salon or buzzfeed when it's exactly the same trashy clickbait and horribly written garbage

I'm annoyed that any of them get paychecks for the garbage they write but other than that I don't really care except in passing if I happen to read one.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:25

Falsum: May 10, 2013; Crazy for the Bros

Proteus4994 posted:

no i get that but i see people splitting hairs about this writer or that writer on their favorite site and i just don't loving get it. why do any of you care about any of these people's opinions?

Well, I don't really care about game journalism. I haven't read a game journalism article or review in a few years. However, a lot of people frequent those sites, and smaller developers need them to get the word out about their upcoming games. That's why I care about this drama: I don't think developers like Larian or Dennaton should have to bend to the will of failed comedians so they can get coverage.

Falsum fucked around with this message at 02:31 on Aug 29, 2014

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:28

fuck the ROW: Aug 29, 2008; by zen death robot

journalist update working on the patreon but had some technical difficulties after accidently releasing my personal birth certificate on the youtube comments @Quinnspiracy

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:30

luncheon meat: Oct 11, 2007; Brendan Jones, 42, Bendigo

coleman francis posted:

Notice no Vinny under giantbomb? Whoever made this is obviously racist against italian-americans and as a italian-canadian I find this offensive and the party in question should be burned at the stake because justice justice morals

I feel like half of those dudes were asked to remove their hats for the photo. You can almost smell them.

Also giantbomb should have died when Ryan Davis did. It's loving awful now.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:32

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

All I know is I really, REALLY want more loving videos of quasi-retarded game reviewers dressed up like they think normal humans do talking about video games. That poo poo gets my dick HARD, yo.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:33

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

If only there were a gaming distribution platform that would have its own indie section where you could see what's hot, what's new, what's selling well, and allowed users to input their own reviews so you could entirely bypass game journalism

Oh well maybe one day

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:33

NutritiousSnack: Jul 12, 2011

coleman francis posted:

Notice no Vinny under giantbomb? Whoever made this is obviously racist against italian-americans and as a italian-canadian I find this offensive and the party in question should be burned at the stake because justice justice morals

I'm from Buenos Aires and I say kill em all.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:34

Danger Mahoney: Mar 19, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

is giant bomb the one where the fat one dies and the other fat one mansplains about how very widely liked things are terrible then jacks off to wrestling

Danger Mahoney fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Aug 29, 2014

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:34

Aidopunko: Oct 12, 2012

big duck equals goose posted:

I kind of want to start one and have people donate money to me to not post and make a ten thousand dollars and then maybe i'll dye my hair and get the code for E.Y.E Divine cybermany implanted into my rear end skin near my anus (Kinda near the taint zone) and then when I get really bored or have an enemy at my gates, I can be like, "Look into the eye" and pull off my jeans/boxers, lay on my back, spread my legs out and pull the skill of my balls up and into the air

Make sure to shave on the reg

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:38

Lightanchor: Nov 2, 2012

Also journalism is capitalist bourgeoisie trash

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:41

Pleasant Friend: Dec 30, 2008

Proteus4994 posted:

If only there were a gaming distribution platform that would have its own indie section where you could see what's hot, what's new, what's selling well, and allowed users to input their own reviews so you could entirely bypass game journalism

Oh well maybe one day

...are you talking about Newgrounds?

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:42

Danger Mahoney: Mar 19, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

joan rivers now in coma is misogyny to blame? :ducksiren:

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:44

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Danger Mahoney posted:

joan rivers now in coma is misogyny to blame?

if so, hooray for misogyny!

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:44

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

The most exposing thing about this whole event is the behavior of video game journalists on Twitter. They start out hurling abuse at gamers, some of it incredibly extreme and tremendously inappropriate, then start whining and moaning about maybe not being allowed to fund patreon accounts. Why can't dumb gamers just respect their endless toiling in the video game playing mines?

Falsum posted:

https://www.youtube.com/user/CrazyGoggs

I went to the page with all this user's uploaded videos, then sorted by popularity to find the most representative one to watch. The order they came up in was:
1. A My Little Pony video
2. A video about panty shots in media re: TV Tropes
3. Another video about panty shots in media re: TV Tropes

Rolling my eyes already, this seems incredibly telling on its own about this guys viewer ship. It wasn't what I expected. It turns out TV Tropes has some incredibly hosed up people on it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEJQqUN2buE

I'd recommend checking out the second one too; it involves a very detailed description of a scene in Full House where Michelle Tanner flashes her panties. Also, I've just learned that clopping is the term for when a brony masturbates.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:45

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Pleasant Friend posted:

...are you talking about Newgrounds?

No but I can understand the confusion considering the quality of most indie games

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:51

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Thanks awful.app

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:51

Forums Barber: Jan 5, 2011

Proteus4994 posted:

i'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that this patrick klepeck dude that everyone hates is only marginally worse than every other writer on that site

he's the only writer on that site, it's basically a lets play video site.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:53

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

so, yes, he is marginally worse than having no writer

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:57

THE PENETRATOR: Jul 27, 2014; by Lowtax

i would have sex with a cartoon woman if 1) i were a cartoon[ man or woman or dog or tentacle monster or angel or demon] or something awful forums moderator and 2) that cartoon woman was not cartoon zoe quinn

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:58

Borden: Jul 23, 2008

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

Nobody would hire an assassin to kill a garbage man?

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:59

porkchop_express: May 27, 2004

Borden posted:

lol

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:59

THE PENETRATOR: Jul 27, 2014; by Lowtax

Borden posted:

dont post pics of me

# ? Aug 29, 2014 03:00

WilltheMagicAsian: Dec 11, 2011

Proteus4994 posted:

No but I can understand the confusion considering the quality of most indie games

Couldn't figure out how to get the girl naked - 8/10

# ? Aug 29, 2014 03:01

coleman francis: Aug 8, 2007; Tap tap
The ketchup bottle
None will come
Then axolotl; Hair Elf

I thought giantbomb was fairly well regarded. As a sort of hangout and watch videogames and listen to funny people being funny.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 03:09

WilltheMagicAsian: Dec 11, 2011

Everyone is split up now and Jeff seems to be miserable all the time.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 03:11

Shadow Puppet Of: Feb 13, 2014; If I worked there I'd have freaked out long ago and smeared toner all over my naked body, flopping around to spell out "I TOLD YOU SO!" on the carpet until campus security could drag me away.

luncheon meat posted:

Also giantbomb should have died when Ryan Davis did. It's loving awful now.

The real tragedy in Ryan's death is that we never got to see the lazy man roadshow of him and Jeff that they were planning out before he died.

Now Jeff has nobody to eat road food with and sit in front of a banquet table at a legion hall to rousing applause for c-grade live comedy. Well, I mean he still does the road food thing every day of his life, which is why he has the same life expectancy as a touring roadie, but it would have been much more real had he got out of games when he was planning to.

Shadow Puppet Of fucked around with this message at 03:14 on Aug 29, 2014

# ? Aug 29, 2014 03:12