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Oh, to touch on butt stuff, a lot of people here recommend trying it because it is very pleasurable if done safely, and a lot of people haven't tried it. It can stimulate the prostate in men as well, which is a very different kind of feeling, and can help with issues like anorgasmia or just intensifies cumming. But it's a more advanced sex activity, and extra good communication and a lot of warm up and lube is required. I wouldn't recommend trying it until both of you are more comfortable with your sex life, unless she specifically requests it. If you're interested, you can always try it by yourself and see if you like it, but I wouldn't try it as a couple until you're more comfortable with each other in the boudoir. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Aug 27, 2014 |
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Aug 27, 2014 20:13
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sweetbeets posted:I feel like sex toys deserve their own thread. It seems like they've taken over here. nah but an in-thread effort post might not hurt anything, since a lot of it's just repeating similar advice. We'll see how bored I am at work tonight.
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Aug 27, 2014 21:09
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hoobajoo posted:Oh, to touch on butt stuff, a lot of people here recommend trying it because it is very pleasurable if done safely, and a lot of people haven't tried it. It can stimulate the prostate in men as well, which is a very different kind of feeling, and can help with issues like anorgasmia or just intensifies cumming. But it's a more advanced sex activity, and extra good communication and a lot of warm up and lube is required. I wouldn't recommend trying it until both of you are more comfortable with your sex life, unless she specifically requests it. Yep. The solution to "how can I get my shy girlfriend to enjoy sex more" isn't "stick it in her arse".
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Aug 27, 2014 23:33
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Butt stuff isn't any kind of silver bullet and I'm not sure where that idea came from but it's a bad one. It's a thing some people like, it's not gonna fix any problems. The only thing I can say definitely helps with the talking about sex for purposes of improvement etc is making sure to have those conversations at entirely different times to sexytime. That way no one feels like they're giving marks out of ten after or barking instructions before. So totally ask specific things, just not immediately after sex. And maybe stress that you're looking to improve, not looking for her to stroke your ego.
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Aug 28, 2014 02:47
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Hydrolith posted:Yep. The solution to "how can I get my shy girlfriend to enjoy sex more" isn't "stick it in her arse". Worked for me though.
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Aug 28, 2014 02:53
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loki k zen posted:Butt stuff isn't any kind of silver bullet and I'm not sure where that idea came from but it's a bad one. It's a thing some people like, it's not gonna fix any problems. I think sometimes it gets brought up with tongue firmly in cheek, and that might not always come across. "Sex has gotten a little stale/having trouble cumming" is one thing, and they come up frequently, but I don't think anyone seriously thinks assplay can reliably improve an interpersonal dynamic.
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Aug 28, 2014 03:01
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My gf has never been more receptive and open since I started putting sex things in her rear end hole.
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Aug 28, 2014 03:30
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Meanwhile, I had an ex who freaked out at me every time I dared to venture around the small of the back when giving massages (not even remotely in the butt stuff arena, just givin' a massage) and would only rarely be into butt stuff when he was blackout drunk. Which sucked because it's sometimes a fun thing to let people stick things in your butt. Some dudes just aren't into it, I guess. He also didn't think farts were funny so clearly there's a reason we're not together anymore. 
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Aug 28, 2014 03:52
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Grape Soda posted:Meanwhile, I had an ex who freaked out at me every time I dared to venture around the small of the back when giving massages (not even remotely in the butt stuff arena, just givin' a massage) and would only rarely be into butt stuff when he was blackout drunk. Which sucked because it's sometimes a fun thing to let people stick things in your butt. Some dudes just aren't into it, I guess. You rear end raped your boyfriend while he was blacked out.
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Aug 29, 2014 02:44
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Steampunk iPhone posted:You rear end raped your boyfriend while he was blacked out. I can't wait for the Oprah special.
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Aug 29, 2014 08:41
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Grape Soda posted:Meanwhile, I had an ex who freaked out at me every time I dared to venture around the small of the back when giving massages (not even remotely in the butt stuff arena, just givin' a massage) and would only rarely be into butt stuff when he was blackout drunk. Which sucked because it's sometimes a fun thing to let people stick things in your butt. Some dudes just aren't into it, I guess. It sounds like you raped your boyfriend, what the gently caress?!
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Aug 29, 2014 08:51
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My gf is pretty shy about her body and seems uncomfortable when we have sex, i want her to enjoy it more so on the advice of Sex Goons I dosed her with GHB and hosed her rear end while she was unconscious  Thanks for the great tips goonsirs
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Aug 29, 2014 15:22
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Nevermind the rapey undertones but isn't it a bad idea to ram stuff up when someone can't tell if it's hurting badly when blacked out / unconscious or perhaps even heavily inebriated for the same reason that it's a bad idea to use numbing / anesthetics when shoving unusually large objects into orifices?
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Aug 29, 2014 16:55
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necrobobsledder posted:a bad idea to use numbing / anesthetics when shoving unusually large objects into orifices? So unusually small objects are still cool right?
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Aug 29, 2014 17:04
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I'm pretty sure "black out drunk" was just being used as casual slang for "drunker than usual" there. As in, he will probably be passed out within the hour so we better get this going ASAP.
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Aug 29, 2014 17:38
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I think that s/he meant that the boyfriend would put anything into the goon's butt unless drunk. Or at least I hope so...
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Aug 29, 2014 17:43
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Basebf555 posted:I'm pretty sure "black out drunk" was just being used as casual slang for "drunker than usual" there. As in, he will probably be passed out within the hour so we better get this going ASAP. That's still way too loving drunk to be consenting to anything but whatever.
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Aug 29, 2014 18:00
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Kimmalah posted:That's still way too loving drunk to be consenting to anything but whatever. I mean you're right but lets not pretend that kind of thing doesn't happen in committed relationships(one persons really drunk, the other isn't). Its not quite the same thing as taking advantage of someone you just started dating or met at a club.
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Aug 29, 2014 19:15
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Basebf555 posted:I mean you're right but lets not pretend that kind of thing doesn't happen in committed relationships(one persons really drunk, the other isn't). Its not quite the same thing as taking advantage of someone you just started dating or met at a club. Uhh yeah it is? I don't get my girlfriend plastered to try and make her into the blowjob queen, because that's rape. How is this even a discussion?
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Aug 29, 2014 19:46
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Turtlicious posted:Uhh yeah it is? I don't get my girlfriend plastered to try and make her into the blowjob queen, because that's rape. How is this even a discussion? No of course you don't set out to do that, but poo poo happens. Sometimes one person gets way more drunk than the other. Yes of course if youre trying to get your girlfriend drunk specifically for sexual reasons that's hosed up.
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Aug 29, 2014 19:53
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There is a difference between drunk sex with a committed partner and a stranger, but it isn't just automatically okay, especially if pushing clear (when sober) boundaries. It's one thing to have normal sex while both smashed and horny (when in the sort of long term relationship where consent is only withheld for "not horny/in the mood" rather than "don't want sex with you"). It's a slightly riskier but still probably okay to push boundaries that you are already pushing while sober if there was some kind of "lets pause this for now and try tomorrow when we're drunk, might be easier" talk before anyone was drunk. But to do things to someone while they are drunk that they wouldn't consent to when sober is clearly wrong. A good rule of thumb in a long term relationship is "Do they seem into it now, and would they be into it if they were sober and in the mood for sex?" edit: Basebf555 posted:No of course you don't set out to do that, but poo poo happens. Sometimes one person gets way more drunk than the other. Yes of course if youre trying to get your girlfriend drunk specifically for sexual reasons that's hosed up. The whole discussion arose because someone can only play with their boyfriend's rear end when he's blackout drunk, as he's very against it. That's different to sharing a bottle of wine, your partner deciding to have a few G&Ts while you nurse that last glass, then having normal couple sex like you would have if you were both sober. Masonity fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Aug 29, 2014 |
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Aug 29, 2014 20:00
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Masonity posted:
If he's against it when sober then she shouldn't push it when he's drunk, agreed. But I don't think there was enough information just in that post really to know whats going on. Maybe they've already talked about it and he admits its something he needs to get drunk to be into. Some people purposely use alcohol to lower their inhibitions. Of course none of this sounds like a healthy relationship I'm just saying there's no real reason to assume rape.
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Aug 29, 2014 20:19
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Basebf555 posted:If he's against it when sober then she shouldn't push it when he's drunk, agreed. But I don't think there was enough information just in that post really to know whats going on. Maybe they've already talked about it and he admits its something he needs to get drunk to be into. Some people purposely use alcohol to lower their inhibitions. Of course none of this sounds like a healthy relationship I'm just saying there's no real reason to assume rape. Someone saying "Eww no don't even touch my lower back, but if you insist, then sure. Get me blackout drunk then while I'm passed out in a puddle of my own vomit you can feel free to stick your arm up my rear end. Just don't go more than elbow deep!" is, I admit, a possibility here. And I guess it would then be okay to take them up on it, if you checked they were actually serious about the offer. It's pretty unlikely though. The far more probable scenario is that a goon's boyfriend just got raped.
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Aug 29, 2014 20:26
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Masonity posted:Someone saying "Eww no don't even touch my lower back, but if you insist, then sure. Get me blackout drunk then while I'm passed out in a puddle of my own vomit you can feel free to stick your arm up my rear end. Just don't go more than elbow deep!" is, I admit, a possibility here. And I guess it would then be okay to take them up on it, if you checked they were actually serious about the offer. It's pretty unlikely though. The far more probable scenario is that a goon's boyfriend just got raped. Anything done to the guy after he's literally passed out is obviously rape, who's going to argue that?
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Aug 29, 2014 20:30
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Basebf555 posted:Anything done to the guy after he's literally passed out is obviously rape, who's going to argue that? Anything done to him when drunk that he clearly has a major objection to when sober is also obviously rape, yet people are arguing it.
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Aug 29, 2014 20:39
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Basebf555 posted:Some people purposely use alcohol to lower their inhibitions. It's true; I, for one, can not get out on the dance floor without at least a few in me. It's pretty much the same for getting my rear end raped.
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Aug 30, 2014 00:33
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So, I drunkenly hooked up with a girl in Edinburgh the two weeks ago and was so wasted the idea of using a condom completely slipped my idiot mind. She told me she has an IUD, so she is unlikely to be pregnant, but she also mentioned in conversation earlier that she has hosed about a hundred guys in her life over the course of about twelve years. Not showing or feeling any symptoms of anything yet, but can anyone give me an idea of how hosed I am in terms of how many STIs I likely just contracted? The worst part is that I'm usually not a "random hook-up" type of guy, and yet this happened and I just feel awful about it. I'm planning to get tested shortly after I get back to the US in a week, so we'll see what happens. Is there anything I should particularly be looking out for? How completely worried about loving up my life should I be?
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Aug 30, 2014 12:10
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Firstly, you dodged a bullet in her being from Edinburgh. If it was Glasgow we'd be telling you to lop it off now so the infection doesn't spread. But seriously, chances are you are fine, but there is a very real chance you are major league hosed. Let that sink in and make sure that once you get the all clear you don't to around making the same mistake twice. As fun as condom free sex is it's not worth playing Russian roulette with your cock.
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Aug 30, 2014 12:51
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Darfuri War Orphan posted:So, I drunkenly hooked up with a girl in Edinburgh the two weeks ago and was so wasted the idea of using a condom completely slipped my idiot mind. She told me she has an IUD, so she is unlikely to be pregnant, but she also mentioned in conversation earlier that she has hosed about a hundred guys in her life over the course of about twelve years. Not showing or feeling any symptoms of anything yet, but can anyone give me an idea of how hosed I am in terms of how many STIs I likely just contracted? The worst part is that I'm usually not a "random hook-up" type of guy, and yet this happened and I just feel awful about it. I'm planning to get tested shortly after I get back to the US in a week, so we'll see what happens. Is there anything I should particularly be looking out for? How completely worried about loving up my life should I be? Not at all; there's one STD that is life-altering (HIV), and the contraction rate is very low from a single encounter. Seriously, like 2% likely. Hep B is naturally fought by your immune system and the vast majority of people are fine in a couple weeks, and if you kept up on vaccinations, you'll actually be immune. Herpes is a nuisance that might bug you twice a year, and is on par with athlete's foot in terms of life-altering consequences. Every other STD is curable with antibiotics, antifungals, or an over the counter shampoo in the case of crabs. Literally the only STD to worry yourself about is HIV, and like I said, that's very unlikely from a single bad decision. You'll be fine, just get tested soon, because there are a number of bacterial infections that can be a big deal if not treated. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Aug 30, 2014 |
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Aug 30, 2014 20:04
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Also it takes time to get an infection, unfortunately that means you will need to wait at least three more weeks before you should get tested. Six weeks is the amount of time recommended by Planned Parenthood for you to wait between the date of possible infection and your test date. Otherwise you might get an all-clear because the infection hasn't developed yet and you tested too early, so you end up walking around with an untreated case of syphilis or gonorrhea for a few months before any symptoms present themselves. And always wrap up your dick. 
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Aug 30, 2014 22:07
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Yeah, I wouldn't be too worried if she were actually from Edinburgh. Unfortunately, this was another tourist from goddamn Key West, Florida. Anyway, I hope I don't learn too hard of a lesson from all of this and I'll be sure to chime in after six weeks or so pass and share my results publicly on the internet, like a dumbass.
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Aug 31, 2014 10:57
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Has anyone ever seen a non-latex, unlubricated condom for sale? Got a woman who gets a uti from any lube she's tried except coconut oil, and we'd like something to cover toys with and use our own lube.
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Aug 31, 2014 13:39
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Not for sale, but I've definitely used non-lubricated non-latex condoms... just not sure where they were from as I didn't buy them myself and was too busy to pay attention to the brand. An alternative might be to use female condoms, which come in non-latex and are often not lubricated. I've also seen some that claim to use hypoallergenic lube (Sensate? don't remember the brand).
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Sep 1, 2014 09:21
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I'm getting into some bondage stuff for the first time and bought some under-the-bed restraints. Any tips on how to make them fun? I tried restraining my partner and teasing them but that can't be all there is to this.
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Sep 2, 2014 06:06
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Momohime Katsumi posted:I'm getting into some bondage stuff for the first time and bought some under-the-bed restraints. Any tips on how to make them fun? I tried restraining my partner and teasing them but that can't be all there is to this. I share your sense of meh about this. My girlfriend encouraged me to tie/restrain her from time to time - I was happy to oblige, but at a point I kind of felt like "ok, now what?"
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Sep 2, 2014 07:11
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strangemusic posted:I share your sense of meh about this. My girlfriend encouraged me to tie/restrain her from time to time - I was happy to oblige, but at a point I kind of felt like "ok, now what?" The "now what" is loving them.
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Sep 2, 2014 07:16
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Momohime Katsumi posted:I'm getting into some bondage stuff for the first time and bought some under-the-bed restraints. Any tips on how to make them fun? I tried restraining my partner and teasing them but that can't be all there is to this. What did you think would be fun about the restraints when you bought them? Roleplay? Sensory play? The dom/sub dynamic? It's a psychological thing more than anything, you subject your bottom to whatever you want, give them an experience directed by you, use other toys on them, or just straight up give it to 'em hard. If you don't think tying up your partner and doing stuff to them is fun, all I can really recommend is to think about why you wanted to try restraints, be creative, and add a mental angle to it. Because that's basically all there is to it on a mechanical level. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 07:49 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Sep 2, 2014 07:44
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Mechafunkzilla posted:The "now what" is loving them. Right. At least for me its the power-relation dynamics (which I would say is there in most play to some extent). Just doing what you want with your partner, when you want should likely be precisely what your partner wants. Being teased by you, you not letting them have an orgasm, loving them really hard or really soft, etc. Have fun with it, and they will have fun with it.
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Sep 2, 2014 07:57
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Any tips for minimizing pain when dealing with a large dick and a smaller sized vagina beyond lots of foreplay and lube? I've had several girlfriends in the past just straight up stop having sex with me for several months because it was too painful, and my most recent hookup is complaining of pretty intense soreness after last night, so I'd like to find a way to avoid that before once again fulfilling my destiny as The Vagina Mauler.
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Sep 2, 2014 16:28
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Butt stuff? 
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Sep 2, 2014 17:09
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