CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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Lifepuzzler: Nov 5, 2009

Okay.

So I've read this thread all the way through. At least... I have 10 pages to go. Regardless, I want to know one fact:

What gives this girl so much sway in the industry? It can't just be her having sex. Is it because modern game press is only from a few sources or what? Who do I even trust anymore?

Also Hohokum was fun and awesome. Like 1000 times more fun than most recent games.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:37

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# ? May 15, 2024 06:45

satin666: Jun 7, 2006

the Gamer+ is a poor imitation of a concept born on this very forum in 2008:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3016727

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:39

Rad Tad: Jul 2, 2014

Clitch posted:

Zoe Quinn is going to get up on that stage looking beaten and ashen with trauma. She will stand at the lectern, flanked by Anita, Maya, and her concubine cucksquad. With a trembling voice, she will address the packed hall, before reaching to her neck. She will pull away the mask to finally reveal the architect of this epic drama, and the greatest storyteller of our time; Hideo Kojima.

After a 45 minute standing ovation, the crowd will be treated to a live demo of MGS5. The game is narrated by The Quiet's internal monologue, describing the horrors of the gender conflict that has ravaged the near future. She will detail her plight, and her singular display of solidarity with her sisters in arms; the longest slutwalk.

Kill stage lights. Nerds scream and applaud until they drown in the blood flowing from their rent vocal cords.

The success of the game, DLC, and micro transactions crashes 3 European economies.

Kotaku gives it a 4/5 because Snake's rear end has more screen time. Obviously misogynist.

holy gently caress finally

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:40

I'm Crap: Aug 15, 2001

because there are about ten or twenty people who write about the "important" "groundbreaking" indie games "scene" and they all know and hang with each other and they all know and hang out with zoe

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:40

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Clitch posted:

Zoe Quinn is going to get up on that stage looking beaten and ashen with trauma. She will stand at the lectern, flanked by Anita, Maya, and her concubine cucksquad. With a trembling voice, she will address the packed hall, before reaching to her neck. She will pull away the mask to finally reveal the architect of this epic drama, and the greatest storyteller of our time; Hideo Kojima.

After a 45 minute standing ovation, the crowd will be treated to a live demo of MGS5. The game is narrated by The Quiet's internal monologue, describing the horrors of the gender conflict that has ravaged the near future. She will detail her plight, and her singular display of solidarity with her sisters in arms; the longest slutwalk.

Kill stage lights. Nerds scream and applaud until they drown in the blood flowing from their rent vocal cords.

The success of the game, DLC, and micro transactions crashes 3 European economies.

Kotaku gives it a 4/5 because Snake's rear end has more screen time. Obviously misogynist.

ZOE

Zone
Of the
Enders 3

Thank you based Kojima for saving video games.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:43

Hobo Grandpa: Aug 22, 2014; "Trigger" is my trigger word.

Clitch posted:

Zoe Quinn is going to get up on that stage looking beaten and ashen with trauma. She will stand at the lectern, flanked by Anita, Maya, and her concubine cucksquad. With a trembling voice, she will address the packed hall, before reaching to her neck. She will pull away the mask to finally reveal the architect of this epic drama, and the greatest storyteller of our time; Hideo Kojima.

After a 45 minute standing ovation, the crowd will be treated to a live demo of MGS5. The game is narrated by The Quiet's internal monologue, describing the horrors of the gender conflict that has ravaged the near future. She will detail her plight, and her singular display of solidarity with her sisters in arms; the longest slutwalk.

Kill stage lights. Nerds scream and applaud until they drown in the blood flowing from their rent vocal cords.

The success of the game, DLC, and micro transactions crashes 3 European economies.

Kotaku gives it a 4/5 because Snake's rear end has more screen time. Obviously misogynist.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:45

Man Whore: Jan 6, 2012; ASK ME ABOUT SPHERICAL CATS
=3

Clitch posted:

Zoe Quinn is going to get up on that stage looking beaten and ashen with trauma. She will stand at the lectern, flanked by Anita, Maya, and her concubine cucksquad. With a trembling voice, she will address the packed hall, before reaching to her neck. She will pull away the mask to finally reveal the architect of this epic drama, and the greatest storyteller of our time; Hideo Kojima.

After a 45 minute standing ovation, the crowd will be treated to a live demo of MGS5. The game is narrated by The Quiet's internal monologue, describing the horrors of the gender conflict that has ravaged the near future. She will detail her plight, and her singular display of solidarity with her sisters in arms; the longest slutwalk.

Kill stage lights. Nerds scream and applaud until they drown in the blood flowing from their rent vocal cords.

The success of the game, DLC, and micro transactions crashes 3 European economies.

Kotaku gives it a 4/5 because Snake's rear end has more screen time. Obviously misogynist.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:52

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Clitch posted:

Zoe Quinn is going to get up on that stage looking beaten and ashen with trauma. She will stand at the lectern, flanked by Anita, Maya, and her concubine cucksquad. With a trembling voice, she will address the packed hall, before reaching to her neck. She will pull away the mask to finally reveal the architect of this epic drama, and the greatest storyteller of our time; Hideo Kojima.

After a 45 minute standing ovation, the crowd will be treated to a live demo of MGS5. The game is narrated by The Quiet's internal monologue, describing the horrors of the gender conflict that has ravaged the near future. She will detail her plight, and her singular display of solidarity with her sisters in arms; the longest slutwalk.

Kill stage lights. Nerds scream and applaud until they drown in the blood flowing from their rent vocal cords.

The success of the game, DLC, and micro transactions crashes 3 European economies.

Kotaku gives it a 4/5 because Snake's rear end has more screen time. Obviously misogynist.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:55

Gyges: Aug 4, 2004; NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Lifepuzzler posted:

Okay.

So I've read this thread all the way through. At least... I have 10 pages to go. Regardless, I want to know one fact:

What gives this girl so much sway in the industry? It can't just be her having sex. Is it because modern game press is only from a few sources or what? Who do I even trust anymore?

Also Hohokum was fun and awesome. Like 1000 times more fun than most recent games.

It could be that the indie dev and mid tier gaming website employee groups are only a few dozen total and due to their small size and shared interests have formed a somewhat close knit group. Said group has been attacked previously by gamer culture's share of the internet rear end in a top hat quota. As a result they naturally closed ranks when this whole thing was just about her sleeping with 5 guys. As the story developed the natural inability of most people in the anti-Zoe coalition to artfully string together a coherent narrative allowed the narrative of the MRAs and others to solidify the takeaway as it all being an attack on women. poo poo stirrers in the Zoe/Industry ranks retaliated, and we've naturally reached the point where people just call each other terrorists and hand wave death threats.

Or it's a conspiracy by a shadow cabal, that of course includes Anita, which has it's hands in the various gaming sites through various methods. Zoe is one of their number. Their goal is to force everyone to begin every sentence with Trigger Warnings, castrate all straight white male gamers, and burn AAA companies to the ground. Leaving the world with artistic re imaginings of what a game is as the only option. Text based games and male rape simulators will be the next big thing as Anita sits upon her throne of gamer skulls and laughs about how she'd hated games from the start.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:55

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Gyges posted:

It could be that the indie dev and mid tier gaming website employee groups are only a few dozen total and due to their small size and shared interests have formed a somewhat close knit group. Said group has been attacked previously by gamer culture's share of the internet rear end in a top hat quota. As a result they naturally closed ranks when this whole thing was just about her sleeping with 5 guys. As the story developed the natural inability of most people in the anti-Zoe coalition to artfully string together a coherent narrative allowed the narrative of the MRAs and others to solidify the takeaway as it all being an attack on women. poo poo stirrers in the Zoe/Industry ranks retaliated, and we've naturally reached the point where people just call each other terrorists and hand wave death threats.

Or it's a conspiracy by a shadow cabal, that of course includes Anita, which has it's hands in the various gaming sites through various methods. Zoe is one of their number. Their goal is to force everyone to begin every sentence with Trigger Warnings, castrate all straight white male gamers, and burn AAA companies to the ground. Leaving the world with artistic re imagining of what a game is as the only option. Text based games and male rape simulators will be the next big thing as Anita sits upon her thrown of gamer skulls and laughs about how she'd hated games from the start.

these two theories aren't mutually exclusive just fyi

# ? Aug 31, 2014 09:56

A. Beaverhausen: Nov 11, 2008; by R. Guyovich

Clitch posted:

Zoe Quinn is going to get up on that stage looking beaten and ashen with trauma. She will stand at the lectern, flanked by Anita, Maya, and her concubine cucksquad. With a trembling voice, she will address the packed hall, before reaching to her neck. She will pull away the mask to finally reveal the architect of this epic drama, and the greatest storyteller of our time; Hideo Kojima.

After a 45 minute standing ovation, the crowd will be treated to a live demo of MGS5. The game is narrated by The Quiet's internal monologue, describing the horrors of the gender conflict that has ravaged the near future. She will detail her plight, and her singular display of solidarity with her sisters in arms; the longest slutwalk.

Kill stage lights. Nerds scream and applaud until they drown in the blood flowing from their rent vocal cords.

The success of the game, DLC, and micro transactions crashes 3 European economies.

Kotaku gives it a 4/5 because Snake's rear end has more screen time. Obviously misogynist.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:03

Sapient Afro: Jan 22, 2012; Well, you threatened to shove a knife up his dickhole.

Hey I haven't read the last 1000 or so posts of this thread, did anything happen at PAX, did gamers stand on a street corner wearing yellow like they said they would?

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:10

A. Beaverhausen: Nov 11, 2008; by R. Guyovich

Sapient Afro posted:

Hey I haven't read the last 1000 or so posts of this thread, did anything happen at PAX, did gamers stand on a street corner wearing yellow like they said they would?

Read the thread

alternatively something might happen on monday, maybe

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:18

Fagmaster: Aug 21, 2004

261 pages of some video game poo poo
:eyepop:

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:27

Kernel Monsoon: Jul 18, 2006

Where do I get one of these fine shirts?

Kernel Monsoon fucked around with this message at 11:28 on Aug 31, 2014

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:40

Man Whore: Jan 6, 2012; ASK ME ABOUT SPHERICAL CATS
=3

Yoah whats the masterlist of confirmed journalists being corrupt, I got a whole bunch of people thinking its The glorious Social Justice warriors against the rapacious gamer hordes as being the crux of the issue here. The OP used to have some stuff but it got trimmed down.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:48

Neurolimal: Nov 3, 2012

Man Whore posted:

Yoah whats the masterlist of confirmed journalists being corrupt, I got a whole bunch of people thinking its The glorious Social Justice warriors against the rapacious gamer hordes as being the crux of the issue here. The OP used to have some stuff but it got trimmed down.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:50

Man Whore: Jan 6, 2012; ASK ME ABOUT SPHERICAL CATS
=3

That ain't what I'm look for, I was looking for the pictures like that kotaku writer who wrote poo poo about her girlfriends game.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:52

A. Beaverhausen: Nov 11, 2008; by R. Guyovich

Man Whore posted:

That ain't what I'm look for, I was looking for the pictures like that kotaku writer who wrote poo poo about her girlfriends game.

Oh poo poo. Well, I just went looking for this so I hope it helps anyway. This at least proves quite a few of them talk to eatchother and have an "agenda" of a sort.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:55

ProfessorGroove: Jun 10, 2006; by Ion Helmet

Put a gun to your heads and pull the trigger.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:56

Neurolimal: Nov 3, 2012

didn't one of the journalists on ex-bf's hit list not even review depression quest in the first place

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:56

ProfessorGroove: Jun 10, 2006; by Ion Helmet

Neurolimal posted:

didn't one of the journalists on ex-bf's hit list not even review depression quest in the first place

Kill youself on a depression quest please

# ? Aug 31, 2014 10:57

A. Beaverhausen: Nov 11, 2008; by R. Guyovich

ProfessorGroove posted:

Put a gun to your heads and pull the trigger.

Thanks, Professor Groove

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:00

ProfessorGroove: Jun 10, 2006; by Ion Helmet

Fagmaster posted:

261 pages of some video game poo poo

This, gently caress this thread.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:01

Captain Invictus: Apr 5, 2005; Try reading some manga!; Clever Betty

A. Beaverhausen posted:

Thanks, Professor Groove

gas this thread, gas yourself

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:02

ProfessorGroove: Jun 10, 2006; by Ion Helmet

A. Beaverhausen posted:

Thanks, Professor Groove

Kill yourself because your avatar is a cartoon horse.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:02

BravestOfTheLamps: Oct 12, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Lipstick Apathy

Neurolimal posted:

So does SJW just mean 'progressive' now?

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:03

Constant Hamprince: Oct 24, 2010; by exmarx; College Slice

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

So does SJW just mean 'progressive' now?

yeah

i remember when only people with at least 2 headmates were called SJWs. loving kids ruining the tumblr mocking racket :corsair:

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:05

Trapezium Dave: Oct 22, 2012

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

So does SJW just mean 'progressive' now?

Someone cares about something I don't! :argh:

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:05

Smekerman: Feb 3, 2001

Tokamak posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMxy8HmTMqE

looking through the comments for images and videos is quite the eye opening experience. SA has keep me sheltered and fed me SJW lies.

this guy's cool

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:06

Neurolimal: Nov 3, 2012

sjw became a useless stand-in for feminazi within like, 1/5th of a femtosecond of its creation, only diff is that there's a tiny group of bored middle-class people on tumblr saying dumb poo poo to make the people using it feel validated

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:06

The Dennis System: Aug 4, 2014; Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

Fagmaster posted:

261 pages of some video game poo poo

What hobby should people care about instead of video games? Golf or some poo poo?

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:07

BravestOfTheLamps: Oct 12, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Lipstick Apathy

Jonad posted:

i remember when only people with at least 2 headmates were called SJWs. loving kids ruining the tumblr mocking racket

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:10

BravestOfTheLamps: Oct 12, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Lipstick Apathy

Somebody please tell me headmates are still a thing

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:12

poptart_fairy: Apr 8, 2009; by R. Guyovich

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

So does SJW just mean 'progressive' now?

sjw is someone who spends more time yelling angrily and attacking others than actually doing anything constructive about important social issues

for some reason people have become obsessed with trying to 'reclaim' the word and use its existence as an excuse to never actually address arguments attached to the phrase

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:23

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Lumpy the Cook posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km3DZQp0StE

Some of this is actually interesting. I love/hate this guy.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:24

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Neurolimal posted:

That one guy's name is Christian Nutt.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:24

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Smekerman posted:

this guy's cool

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:25

Man Whore: Jan 6, 2012; ASK ME ABOUT SPHERICAL CATS
=3

Can someone like zoe's 44 posts about the fine young capitalists?

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:26

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# ? May 15, 2024 06:45

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

Any bets how long before the SJW death lists are expanded to include anyone who dares to criticise women in mu video games?

You all lose because it's now

# ? Aug 31, 2014 11:27

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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