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Chapter the Sixth: World Champions, kind of. December 11, 2023-January 1, 2024 Wrexham has a chance to sweep the minor competitions we're in, with a trip to the Club World Cup in Seoul to start the Holiday period. The players will have to stay focused, we've got an epic match against Manchester United coming up on Boxing Day that could have everything to do with who wins the league this year.  We didn't play a game and went up 4 spots. FIFA rankings are weird.  Stay healthy for a few weeks this time, would you? vs Atlas, December 13, 2023 Club World Cup, Semifinal  Atlas are a very good team. They'd struggle to avoid relegation in the Premier League, but they certainly wouldn't be the worst club. If we get past them we play Seoul, who got past Brazilian giants Flamengo on penalties under the rapturous gaze of their supporters. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Bailey, Petts, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Morvan, Shirra, Argenti, Aarts. Atlas comes out unafraid, pressing for the ball and trying to play us straight up despite the talent differential. It's working great and giving us fits until they get caught too far up the pitch. Meteor streaks down the touchline before launching a perfect cross to Stringel. They redouble their efforts, but once again we catch them on the break, this time with Stringel tapping the ball forward for a Collett effort that hits paydirt. When Mujkic reenacts the first goal, but this time with Thiago playing the role of Stringel, the Mexican club looks dejected. Atlas gamely try to get back into the match after the half, but after a brief spurt of energy are forced to defend the final half hour. Thiago scores his second, and we're into the final. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Wrexham 4-1 Atlas  I hadn't realized the purse was that large, this trip might actually pay for itself.  It certainly won't hurt our reputation. The Club World Cup is very new (first contested in 2000, then only for the second time in 2005), and is wildly overrated ingame compared to it's real life importance. A good but not great club like Tottenham, Wolfsburg, or Fiorentina would be proud of claiming the Europa League. Those same teams would play a bunch of reserves and teenagers in the Club World Cup.  Manchester City is the only English megabastard which hasn't changed hands in the past decade. Even minibastard Tottenham was taken over by a bunch of Greeks.  Why do you think I signed him, Agent Coulson? Coulson's back in England these days, ripping up League 2 at the stately age of 32.  He's had a solid lower level career, and with his current level of play could easily last another 3 years if he has the desire to play.  This is an asinine way to put it. The competition hasn't even been held 20 times and you have to win the Champions League to get there. Real Madrid has never won it, nor has Bayern Munich. At Seoul, December 16, 2023 Club World Cup, Final  If we don't win this it's because we fell asleep on the pitch, regardless of Seoul's home field advantage. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Parr, Shirra, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Hammatt, Morvan, Bailey, Collett, Argenti. Seoul is playing decent defense through the first half hour, but the floodgates open after that. The Golden Boy converts a penalty, then Taborda scores five minute further on in the aftermath of a corner. Parr makes it three-nil when he has the ball roll right to him after Shirra is tripped up at the edge of the box and the referee plays the advantage. Two minutes later Parr gets an injury that requires him to come out of the game, again. Bram Aarts keeps up the march to victory just after halftime, and this is officially an embarrassment to the home team. He completes his brace and we're up 5-0 with 35 minutes left to play. Collett misses a chance to make it 6-0, but who cares? We've got our third shiny new trophy of the year, and we can now call ourselves the champions of the world. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts   Seoul 0-5 Wrexham  This competition is a joke.  The march to the septuple continues unchecked! Though I bet that the denizens of AU-Something Awful's The Ray Parlour (Now named The Ian Park after the longtime Hibernian defender) are making very sarcastic cracks about this “treble.” The only title AJ_Impy won't see us attain during his time as president will be the League Cup, we've now won literally every other possible trophy.  Definitely worth the trip, though.  I'm not sure I want AU-Malky Mackay buttering me up, I'm pretty sure it's only because I'm a white man.  The one thing the US does do well is develop goalkeepers. From Kasey Keller to Brad Friedel to Tim Howard to Brad Guzan, the one position where America is able to match or better most major footballing powers is between the sticks. At least, that used to be the case. Toninho is not nearly as good as his forebearers, but he's still much better than anyone I might replace him with. vs West Bromwich Albion, December 20, 2023 Capital One Cup, Fifth Round  You're in the way of our septuple, West Brom. I'm going to have to politely ask you to roll over and die. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Hammatt, Loseille, Morvan, Petts, Collett, Rouissi, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Quiboulaz, Bailey, Allan, Stringel, Ikeda. A healthy Compadrito is a wonderful thing, and he gives us the lead after our first two shots are inches away from being goals. Thiago hammers the crossbar twice, the second time on a long range free kick. As the game wends on I feel confident in bringing the teenager, Ikeda, on. He rewards my decision by making a brilliant run and rounds the keeper, but is denied a spot on the scoreline when the keeper's desperation dive touches the ball last before it crosses the goal line. Two-nil, and the outcome was never in doubt. Man of the Match: Rodrigo Taborda   Wrexham 2-0 West Brom  Chelsea has to play Manchester United in the other semifinal, while we get Sky Shadowing's Championship level club. This might be the year where we finally win the League Cup.    The biggest surprise is Barca finishing third in their group, while credit has to be given to Porto and Benfica for giving the Portuguese league as many knockout round qualifiers as Germany. I'd say that we're clearly superior to at least eight of the remaining teams, but going up against any of the three English clubs, PSG, or Real Madrid, would be a tossup while Bayern Munich and Juve certainly have the ability to beat us. If we get Benfica I hope I reenact my greatest Football Manager 2013 triumph, an 11-0 genocide in the second leg that lead to the entire Benfica staff being fired.  I'll take it. At Stoke City, December 23, 2023 Premier League  Stoke are sitting at the bottom of the league. I'm saving our powder for Man United in three days, so don't right the ship yet, Potters! Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Mair, Bailey (c), Argenti, Allan, Gabbianelli, Roussi. Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Hammatt, Morvan, Shirra, Mujkic, Thiago. Argenti hasn't been that good this season, but he draws a penalty in the early going that Laux converts. That's a good thing, as we're otherwise outplayed comprehensively in the first half and still ahead. Callum Allan makes it 2-0 an hour in, assisted by Argenti, who's having his best game in months. Meteor comes off the bench to make it 3-0, and we win going away. Man of the Match: Cristian Taffarel   Stoke 0-3 Wrexham  Bailey has 317 appearances in all competitions, quite a tenure.  Our American affiliate didn't even manager to make the Western finals. For shame, Chivas. A Wrexham Carol December 24, 2023 (Wind howls outside the WREXHAM OFFICES on MOSS ROAD as COACH sits alone in his office near the close of business on CHRISTMAS EVE)  : Wages far under budget. Transfer kitty untouched. Excellent...(A rap on the door, and STEVE REED enters) : What do you want?  : Well, sir, I was just thinking that I've been one of the best right backs in all of the game, and you yourself told me that I was going to be taking over for Tonci in the starting 11. I'm only getting about 20% of what he's earning, and I know there's money in the wage budget...: Bah, humbug. You're signed got a contract through the three years. Why should I give you a raise just because you're a bad negotiator?: But coach-: Humbug I say! Get out of my office before I fine you a weeks salary for impertinence!(REED scurries out of the office, chagrined and startled. Presently, there is another knock on the door, and JUSTIN BAILEY enters)  : We signed you after you couldn't find a team for six months. £12,000 a week isn't good enough for you now? Humbug. : Well, ok... (BAILEY licks his lips tentatively) : Uh, I know we have the Manchester United game on Boxing day, but the players wanted me to ask you if we could have tomorrow off to spend with our families, it being Christmas and all.: Christmas. Humbug. That's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December... I'll make it half a day, nothing more.: But coach- : Unless the team would prefer to be UNEMPLOYED?!: Err, no... I'll be going now...(The COACH arrives home late at night to his empty home, it is spartan in furnishing as he spends 18 hours a day working. He wearily sits in a darkened room, scrolling through potential free transfers until a riotous clanking makes him look up to see THE GHOST OF ROCKY BASTABLE) : Rock, what the hell are you doing here? And why are you a ghost? : Oooooooo. You must mend your skinflint ways!: Bah, humbug. My savvy has kept us solvent despite being a tiny club from rural Wales.: Ooooooo. Yes, but do you remember what happened when you negotiated a new contract with me? You thought you were saving money by inserting a release clause that would never be triggered, and instead you allowed Real Madrid to sign me awaaaaay.: Humbug.: Come with me, and see where your path will lead you!(TGORB and COACH have been transported into the past to see MATEO MUJKIC sign a contract extension, his third, with the club) : I... I remember this. This was the first time that Mateo signed a contract without a release clause. It meant he'd be with the club forever.: Do you remember how excited you were?: So excited... But things are different now! We can't give out hundred thousand pound a week contracts on a whim like Barcelona!: But what of the results of your actions?(The scene shifts to the PRESENT, with ROCKY BASTABLE wearing a REAL MADRID kit) : Oh spirit, I never meant for that to happen! I was only trying to reduce your wages by giving you a release clause that couldn't be triggered! It was an honest mistake!(The scene shifts again to a MANCHESTER CITY press conference) : Spirit, why have you brought me to this dark place.(TGORB merely points at PATRICK PATTISON, who stands at a podium flanked by MATEO MUJKIC and SCOTT SHIRRA)  : While we here at Manchester City agree that it's very sad that Coach Brown suffered a mortal wound during the largest sheep stampede in Welsh history, I am delighted to announce that we have come to terms with these fine players and give them the compensation they richly deserve.(The COACH looks on aghast) : Spirit, please tell me, is this the future that will be or only might be? Please! I must know!(Fade to black. Open on COACH groggily awakening in his bed and looking at his smartphone) : It's still only Christmas day! The Ghost of Rocky Bastable did it in one night!!! Things can be changed! Rejoice! New contracts for everyone!   Merry Christmas one and all! vs Manchester United, December 26, 2023 Premier League  It's time to take down the giants! United have scored 52 goals and allowed 8 in 17 games this season, but if we win this match we can catch them if we also win the games we have in hand. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Morvan, Bailey, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Petts, Stringel, Taborda, Argenti. Even though it's just a day after Christmas, everyone is aware of just how important this match could be when the season ends. Thiago shows that he knows how important this is by pouncing on a loose ball in the box, and we score just the 9th goal against United all season in less than five minutes. Man U's centerback Nate Bennett compounds their early woes with a penalty against Collett in the box, which Shirra converts. Our dream first half comes to a close with Steve Reed making a late run into the box to get a perfect Bailey pass. No one is marking him and he has all the time in the world to aim just inside the far post. It's three-nil at the half, against a team that had been scoring over three goals a game while allowing less than one every two. United are too good to be held goalless, and grab one right back when play resumes from Steve Collecott's boot. They can't get any closer, and in the 77th minute Collett scores from a corner to make it 4-1. We've now scored a full 1/3rd of the goals United have given up all season. That takes the fight out of United, they narrowly avoid conceding for a fifth time before limping home after their first loss of the season. Man of the Match: Matty Collett   Wrexham 4-1 Man United  A performance like that just five days before voting certainly won't hurt him.  Free transfers are the best. I'll see if any of these boys are potential stars in the making and sign them on the cheap. vs Everton, December 30, 2023 Premier League  With the United victory we're back in control of our own destiny. We just need a draw in Manchester on the second to last week of the season and win every single remaining game while making up a -20 goal differential deficit. Piece of cake. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Argenti, Gabbianelli. At halftime Everton are proving a much sterner test than Manchester United, with our supporters shaking their heads at our squanders. I yoink Stringel off the field just before the hour, he's been uncharacteristically poor and is a big reason why we're not winning. Rodrigo Taborda gives us the lead not long after when he flummoxes the opposing keeper by putting serious english on a cheeky free kick from out wide that curls it inside the near post. That should be enough, but a tenacious Everton equalizes late on a fast break. They then have a man sent off for picking up two yellows, but with only 3 minutes of regulation remaining the Toffees hang onto the draw. We really should have won that match given how often we threatened, but luckily United also drew 3-3. They've now given up seven goals in two matches after conceding only eight in their first 17. Man of the Match: Rodrigo Taborda.   Wrexham 1-1 Everton  El Compadrito has become Tissue Paper Taborda.  Jiminez has been very good in the US, but the scouting reports say he doesn't have a high ceiling. It's why you haven't seen him much on our national teams. I should probably give him a shot, though. Meanwhile 19 year old Isaac Parsons has improved leaps and bounds, he's going to be a mainstay at right back for my entire tenure with the USMNT.  I'm absolutely going to take personal charge of this. I want a gold medal.  Our visibility on TV has gone up drastically even compared to last year, with 9 of our 16 matches televised. Compare that with 12 televised matches all year, when we won the damned league, and we're going to make about £10m more than last year. At Reading, January 1, 2024 Premier League  Let's start the new year off right, especially since injuries are forcing Reading to play an 18 year old on their left wing. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Morvan, Bailey, Argenti, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Allan, Collett, Aarts. In the seventh minute a Mujkic to Bailey connection at the near post comes as we overload the Reading defense. Later in the first half Morvan mugs the Reading holding midfielder and Shirra beats the centerback to the ball. He's off to the races, and his shot slips past the keeper from a very narrow angle. An own goal in early second half from a bobbled corner is the final indignity for the home team, though they do deny us a clean sheet with a stoppage time goal. Man of the Match: Scott Shirra   Reading 1-3 Wrexham  They're both now at the penultimate rating, Excellent. Another ten million big ones and we're finally as good as any megabastard out there.    Shucks, Collett couldn't pull it off.  He can't even crack the World XI starting squad, but is our first player to ever be named to it.  We also have our first actual Golden Boy, Isaac Stringel.  What do you get the team that has almost everything?  We added our third trophy of the season. We picked up 10 of a possible 12 points in the League and topped Manchester United in a must win match. We're into the League Cup semifinal for the first time in my tenure. We've got an easy match against Championship club Crewe in the FA Cup. We're almost completely healthy. Over the past calendar year we've lost all of seven matches.* We're at the top of the Football World, and have every chance of taking home every trophy we could compete for. 2023 was the year that we announced our presence. 2024 must be the year we cement it.  * Well, 9 if you count losing away ties in the Champions League. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 06:00 on Sep 1, 2014 |
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Aug 31, 2014 18:34
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You have the score backwards for Seoul - Wrexham it seems. I usually skip to the scores so it made me really confused for a while. Also this just happened in the MLS: http://globalnews.ca/news/1536621/toronto-fc-fires-entire-coaching-staff/. It makes me laugh cause the whole article reads like something out of Football Manager, and made me think of this LP in particular.
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Sep 1, 2014 00:41
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habeasdorkus posted:What do you get the team that has almost everything? Bastable. 
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Sep 1, 2014 00:52
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You also have the Wrexham/West Brom match listed as a Premier League match. Good to see we're still able to do the septuple.
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Sep 1, 2014 05:56
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Yay more updates! What does AU- in front of the name mean? Edit: Wait, it just came to me. Alternate universe? Rapner fucked around with this message at 07:00 on Sep 1, 2014 |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:56
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Yes. Habeas isn't using real life players/coaches because their namesakes don't get into off the field drama or something like that. With generated players, they're free to get into the sort of hijinks that real players get into all the time.
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Sep 1, 2014 08:00
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Yep, AU = Alternate Universe. At least this Malky MacKay can still get a job coaching and wasn't caught saying massively racist and homophobic things!
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Sep 1, 2014 12:57
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Is that 8 matches in January? Holy crap that is some fixture congestion. Is that normal for a team this successful? EDIT: Also with Taborda turning into Tony Walsh-lite, it might be time to release Damgaard from prison. Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Sep 1, 2014 |
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Sep 1, 2014 17:55
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Dreamsicle posted:Is that 8 matches in January? Holy crap that is some fixture congestion. Is that normal for a team this successful? It's normal for any premier league side in the league cup semis. That's the home and away vs Southampton. The FA cup fixture, all Premier league clubs enter at that stage. The rest are all normal league matchdays, possibly one or two rescheduled from our CWC exploits.
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Sep 1, 2014 17:59
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AJ_Impy posted:It's normal for any premier league side in the league cup semis. That's the home and away vs Southampton. The FA cup fixture, all Premier league clubs enter at that stage. The rest are all normal league matchdays, possibly one or two rescheduled from our CWC exploits. We have 3 games in hand right now...
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Sep 2, 2014 01:52
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Munin posted:We have 3 games in hand right now... Yup. We won't be catching them all up in January, but we'll reduce it by one or two.
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Sep 2, 2014 02:06
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Munin posted:We have 3 games in hand right now... I guess we're in the same state Man United was in a couple seasons back. Never quite in the lead, but with so many games in hand that even the front runner is forced to look behind himself and worry.
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Sep 2, 2014 02:58
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Chapter the Seventh: The megabastard cometh. January 1, 2024-February 1, 2024 I've sat on my gigantic war chest long enough. It's time to establish ourselves as the biggest team in the world, and there's no better way to do that than a massive vanity purchase that blows records out of the water.  Oh sure, let him leave. That would be the best thing ever. I'm sure United can find a better manager, no doubt!   They're each available for about £100m. But they're the two best central midfielders in the world, and both are under 26. I'd have to sell one of our current midfielders to get them, and Morvan would bring the best return. Jimenez plays for Bayern, who are interested in Morvan. I might be able to do a player exchange with them to reduce the expense.  Yes. Wrexham is totally a hipper place to live than Monaco! Just hold onto that thought, though, because you're my second choice.  This would redefine the term “blockbuster deal” if they accept it, they'd be getting Morvan and Argenti on top of £40m now and another £26m in future considerations. It's not structured as a player exchange, they're willing to offer more for our guys when the transfers are individually constructed.   A £140m transfer fee is insane by any standard, but Jimenez is truly great, while Morvan is merely very good. Argenti would also be a significant loss, but he's having trouble finding playing time with Parr and Collett on the squad and his sale would help offset Jimenez's price.  Who's going to win? I'm on tenterhooks. (Dreamsicle is definitely going to win) At Crewe Alexandra, January , 2024 FA Cup, Third Round  We have two matches in a row against Championship opponents, in this and in the League Cup semi. With an easy match upcoming I can play most of the first team and have them rested and ready for the Premier League fixtures the following week. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, O'Hanlon, Hammatt, Loseille, Morvan, Petts, Parr, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Taffarel, Quiboulaz, Mair, Allan, Collett, Aarts. I'm not a happy camper when Shahed Parr is sent off in the 8th minute. It didn't look awful, but it was definitely a foul and the card was given. Luckily, we're amazing when playing 10 v 11. Hammerin' Ed Hammatt gives us the lead from a set piece, and not long after we get more than a little lucky when the flag stays down despite Loseille being a good two yards offside. Crewe complains bitterly but there's nothing to be done. Down a man I'm using Mujkic as a box to box midfielder, and he's been awesome:  Kovacevic makes a sprawling save to spare our back line some blushes in the 70th minute, and we take a three-nil lead short minutes later as Taffarel (who subbed on for Loseille) scores. The victory runs our record when down a man out to an ever more ridiculous 14 wins, 4 draws, and 3 losses. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic   Crewe 0-3 Wrexham   Thank goodness for a high professionalism attribute.  Something Argenti could use. He's scored 2 goals in 18 appearances and hasn't been great since his first two months when filling in while Parr and Collett were both hurt. If he can help us land Jimenez he's off to Germany.  Insert platitudes here. (Wait, did I forget to edit that out?) Err, and now we go live to Dreamsicle's first press conference: Dreamsicle posted:Press Conference  The other contenders were given spots on the board, with runner up Ghostwoods getting a managing director sinecure.  Hey! You should consult me before doing this! It's not like we've ever used them, but still!  More draws like this and we won't face a real challenge in the FA Cup until the final.  With another £43m coming in for Morvan we should be able to get Jimenez for the net price of £60m.  When you have a player being offered less cash at a new club they may demand that you make up the difference. The total over four years comes to about £2m. I'm willing to do it to make the Jimenez transfer work, but I shouldn't have let the Christmas Spirit touch me and given Argenti that new contract he wanted. At Southampton, January 10, 2024 Capital One Cup, Semifinal Away Leg  The League Cup has an irritating home-away semifinal system, forcing us to play two matches. The good news is that we could crap the bed here and still advance to the final by winning at home in two weeks. We probably won't, though. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Morvan, Bailey (c), Collett, Rouissi, Taborda, Ikeda. Subs: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Morvan, Allan, Gabbianelli, Stringel. It's scoreless through the first half, after we look good to start and then they perform well towards the close. The Saints never get going in the second half, though, and we spend the final forty-five minutes breaking down their defense. Cristian Taffarel finally gives us the lead in the 76th minute after I sub off a tired Taborda and a nervous Ikeda. Laux follows up and ruins any hopes Southampton had of a comeback with a goal two minutes from the death. We did exactly what we needed to do, and did so while playing several reserves. Man of the Match: Cristian Taffarel   Southampton 0-2 Wrexham  Once the Morvan deal goes through we'll have enough to pay for Jimenez's contract demands. He's going to be our highest paid player... by a lot.  Now to hope there's no last minute snafus with the other transfer...  Good. We should have this tied up with a bow within the next few days.  Well, we're going to blow this out of the water.  The additional suspension is unsurprising. A straight red will usually get you another couple games tacked on. vs Watford, January 13, 2024 Premier League  Watford would be relegated if the season ended today. They've been the victims of bad luck, their -3 goal differential should put them around the midtable. Hopefully we can make it more suitable to their position on the table. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, O'Hanlon, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Bailey (c), Collett, Allan, Gabbianelli, Aarts. Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, Laux, Petts, Shirra, Taborda, Stringel. The Hornets scare us in first 10 minutes, but we recover without conceding. Collett picks up a ding early on, that could be trouble if he can't play as Parr is still suspended as Argenti left just days ago for Bavaria. Watford lose any hope of a result when one of their players earns a red card before the first half hour is up. Collett scores not long after, and Aarts adds a second in first half stoppage time. We don't pile on after the break, but it's still a comfortable win. Man of the Match: Steve Reed   Wrexham 2-0 Watford  YOU CHUPACABRA HUMPER! His new Bayern contract doesn't even give him the 25% raise we were offering, it just extends him two years. Now we've sold Bayern two excellent players and have nothing to show for it.  Well, that's why you always have a backup plan.  Ünsal is on the right, Jimenez on the left. Jimenez is definitely the better of the two for the roles I'm filling (box to box midfielder and deep lying playmaker) but they're both absolute monsters on the pitch and the Turk is perhaps the most creative player in the entire game. vs Portsmouth, January 16, 2024 Premier League  This match brings the worst team in the league into our house. It's going to be a slaughter. Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Laux, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Cirjak, Loseille, Shirra, Bailey (c), Stringel, Aarts, Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Mair, Petts, Mujkic, Taborda, Rouissi. Thiago gets off to a flying start by burying a rebound that Shirra donked off the crossbar. Stringel makes it 2-0 ten minutes later and it's been two shots, two kills. Isaac makes it a brace in the 36th minute after Aarts misses his first chance to complete the forward trifecta. It's always coming, though, and when play resumes Aarts makes 4-0 in the 47th minute. The final goal comes when Aarts puts it in the back of the net a second time, except this time it's our net. Argh. We conceded in a match where the other side didn't have a single shot. Man of the Match: Tonci Cirjak   Wrexham 4-1 Portsmouth   Boom. That's the biggest transfer in club history right here. Also the biggest transfer in all of football history. Thanks to the sales of Morvan and Argenti we've still got £27m in the bank, so there's no concern about our financial state.  I'm not kidding. This is a list of the largest transfers since the game began. In real life the largest fee ever paid (officially, and according to wiki) was £85.3m by Real Madrid for Gareth Bale in 2013. We just blew all past transfers out of the water. Which is nice, considering that we've been on the selling side in five of the next eleven largest transfers since 2014. Sinan Ünsal Midfielder  Oh gosh, just look at those stats. I wanted Jimenez a little bit more because he was a better defender and thus a better fit for playing a box to box role, but Ünsal's attributes are bonkers. Compare with Scott Shirra, who's on the left:  Phwoar.  Mateo, get him squared away. I'll be in my bunk. At Chelsea, January 20, 2024 Premier League  Chelsea are having a mediocre season, and are currently in 7th place, stuck fighting with Sheffield United and Tottenham for just a Europa League spot. They're closer to relegation (12 points) than fourth (15 points). That doesn't mean that they're not a good team, it just means that there's a new big four in the Premier League, and Chelsea isn't a part of it. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Ünsal, Bailey (c), Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Petts, Collett, Aarts. Thiago puts it past the keeper early, but the flag is up as he's a step offside. That means Chelsea are up after being gifted a penalty in the 21st minute. I can't complain too much given how often those calls have gone our way recently, though I'll certainly mention it in the postgame. Thiago equalizes ten minutes later, and from there it's frustration for the Wrexham faithful as Parr can't get anything on net, and I have to bring in Collett after Parr spends an hour sending four shots off target. We end up with a 1-1 draw, hardly the worst result and thanks to a United loss against Arsenal midweek we're five points back with two games in hand. Man of the Match: Thiago   Chelsea 1-1 Wrexham  We're very lucky this happened to a piece of flotsam in our youth squad and not someone good- this is a death sentence most of the time. His determination dropped from 15 to 5, and it will never recover. Poor kid, I wonder what happened to him. Maybe he realized he'd never be any good.  I already got rid of players like you asked! We've only got four centerbacks on the first team, and you've played in 17 matches this season. You're going to ask for a transfer at the end of the window, aren't you? vs Southampton, January 23, 2024 Capital One Cup, Semifinal Home Leg  We're already up two goals going into the home leg. The real drama will be whether Chelsea can beat United in Manchester to make the finals, or if it's going to be another Manchester/Wrexham tilt at Wembley. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak (c), O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Mair, Petts, Parr, Rouissi, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Gabbianelli, Ikeda. We didn't take long to assert ourselves. Taborda sends a free kick into the box that Mair gets on the end of in the first 20 minutes, and then Parr settles it in the second half. It's a confident performance from our second team, and we've made the League Cup final for the first time ever. We'll have a shot at our fourth trophy of the year come March. Man of the Match: Stuart Mair   Wrexham (4) 2-0 (0) Southampton  United stomped Chelsea 4-0 in their semifinal. They're a tougher ask, but no worries. We can beat them too. vs. Leeds United, January 27, 2024 FA Cup, Fourth Round  This should be a humdrum fourth round match. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Bailey, Shirra, Parr, Allan, Mujkic (c), Stringel. Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, O'Hanlon, Ünsal, Petts, Collett, Gabbianelli. We're desultory and disappointing in the first half, having a kickabout that gives us a huge amount of possession but no goals. Quiboulaz makes a mistake that allows Leeds to sting us on the counter in the 60th minute and the entire team responds by going from desultory to dormant for the final half hour. It's a match where we enjoyed plenty of possession and showed zero passion. We're out of our first competition of the year thanks to a fourth round home loss against a club that should never, ever win a match against us. What a pathetic display.   Wrexham 0-1 Leeds  The tutelage didn't change his “unambitious” personality, which is concerning. At West Bromwich Albion, January 30, 2024 Premier League  I'm still pissed off about the FA Cup loss. It's time to take that out on the Baggies. Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Laux, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Reed, Loseille, Ünsal, Bailey (c), Stringel, Aarts, Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Mair, Petts, Shirra, Mujkic, Collett. Aarts puts his first chance away, at least we won't be shut out like the last match. Our slack play continues, Aarts is the only Dragon capable of getting the ball on the target after that first goal, and West Brom are feisty enough to make us work on defense. Things perk up before the end of the half, with another from Aarts and Sinan Ünsal scoring his first for the club when we overwhelm the West Brom defense once again. Our sloppy play returns in the second half, and we can't even keep a clean sheet, getting lazy at the end and allowing a stoppage time goal. Meanwhile United draws with Everton, leaving us six points back of them with three games in hand. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts   West Brom 1-3 Wrexham  I knew this would happen. Shut up and get back to work.   Dortmund and United have each made half a dozen bids, all at the same price, for Aarts and Loseille over the last 48 hours as we approach the end of the transfer window. I triple checked to make sure I didn't have my asking prices screwed up, but they're each sporting a £50m price tag. Those two clubs can take a long walk off a short pier.  It is unacceptable to be out of the FA Cup this early. It is completely unacceptable to be out after playing a home match against Leeds goddamned United. There will be no treble for us, and it makes for an unsatisfying conclusion to a month where we played well and pulled off the biggest transfer in the history of the game. Especially concerning is that we've been playing sloppily, we can get away with that against the likes of West Bromwich, but February brings trips to Arsenal, Manchester City, and Napoli. They will punish us for our presumption if given the chance. 
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Sep 2, 2014 10:25
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Chapter the Eighth: A game in hand is not worth two in the bush. February 1, 2024-March 1, 2024 We've got another eight matches, seven of them in the Premier League and a trip to historic Naples in the knockout round. Two of our league matches are trips to Manchester City and Arsenal. I don't expect that we'll come out of this month unscathed, but hopefully we keep it close against Napoli and take at least four points from our trips to the other big clubs.  Ünsal played for Monaco before they were knocked out of the Champions League, so he's “cup tied” and can't play for us on the continent. Instead he'll be spending all his time playing our Premiership matches.  Well, I couldn't do it without my long tenured, feathered hair rear end Man. Me and Paul Willy got the bromance of a century going on. I can't believe his reputation is still “Regional”- he's the best kept secret in the entire world of coaching and it's a little surprising that no club has come along and tried to hire him as head manager. vs Blackburn Rovers, February 4, 2024 Premier League  At least the schedule alternates between hard and soft matches. That's defining a home fixture against a midtable club as soft. It should keep our best players reasonably well rested for our tilts with Arsenal, City, and Napoli. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak (c), O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Parr, Allan, Taborda, De Blasio. Subs: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Rouissi, Gabbianelli, Aarts. We hop out to a lead when a heads up play from Shahed Parr gets O'Hanlon the rebound of a Taborda free kick in the 28th minute. We keep our focus, and when Blackburn make a last minute charge for a late equalizer we hit them hard on the counter with a goal from Fabio Gabbianelli to close out the game in the 89th minute. We played with verve, and it's a professional victory, though our finishing was poor. Man of the Match: Alex O'Hanlon   Wrexham 2-0 Blackburn  Grundlecrunchings like that are going to make it hard for us to catch Manchester United on goal differential. At Arsenal, February 7, 2024 Premier League  The Battle at the Emirates is why I was holding our best players out of the Blackburn match. Our title aspirations demand that we get a result here, and again in a week against Manchester City. Both of these matches have been rescheduled to midweek due to prior fixture congestion, by the end of the month we'll only have a single game in hand against the rest of the league rather than three. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Ünsal, Bailey, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Taborda, Stringel, Aarts. It's all even through the first half, though both teams make the other yelp at times. I yell at the players for some lackluster performances, but remind them that I have faith in them. They respond by getting the Golden Boy into position with the goal at his mercy within a minute of resuming play. I order Mujkic and Collett to play deeper after 70 minutes to help firm up our defense and protect the lead, putting us in a 4-4-1-1. Thiago makes hearts leap into throats when he judders the woodwork with a free kick, but it's cleared away and he comes off with 15 minutes remaining for Aarts. I want fresh legs up top for our counter attacks. That proves to be a wise decision, in the 88th minute Aarts skips over the last defender's tackle and beats the keeper to make it 2-0. It's a damned big win for us in one of our toughest remaining league matches. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts   Arsenal 0-2 Wrexham vs Tottenham Hotspur, February 10, 2024 Premier League  We don't have time to revel in our victory over Arsenal, and this only counts as a “soft” match because we're at home and it's being played between trips to Arsenal and City. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Gabbianelli, De Blasio. We pressure the heck out of Tottenham, finally breaking through with a Taborda goal that really should have been stopped in 37th minute. Parr doubles that lead with a volleyed rebound in the 48th after yet another excellent run by Taffarel into the box to set up a Stringel shot. I sub off an ineffective Aarts, and my tactical nous continues to redound in our favor as his replacement Gabbianelli scores his third goal of the season, thanks again to Taffarel. In the 82nd minute Spurs finally get their first shot. It's off target, and it's their only one of the day. Man of the Match: Cristian Taffarel   Wrexham 3-0 Tottenham At Manchester City, February 13, 2024 Premier League  I admit to feeling some nerves about this one. We're each three points back of United, but we still have two games in hand while City have played the same number as their crosstown rivals. Our club has been much more successful over the past year and a half against Manchester City, but they're still one of the best teams in the world and I abhor losing to Pattison. There's a bit of luck when it comes to our opposition as City are missing six players due to injury and suspension, but only two of those are among their best. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Bailey, Ünsal, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Taborda, Stringel, Aarts. The crowd at the Etihad roars when their team takes the lead on a set piece goal, but are quickly quieted when Collett gets two chances to make an immediate response and does so on the second. We hit the crossbar twice from corners late in the first half, and I'm leery about falling to a late defeat if we can't make our chances count, especially as our midfield has been good but our defense is getting torn up repeatedly and Thiago can't hold possession up top. We get a goal from a set piece ourselves in the 50th minute, when Laux is in the right place at the right time and uses his foot to score the go ahead goal. But Shirra misses the chance to plunge a dagger into the City hearts twenty minutes later. I have to bring on Quiboulaz for Loseille at that point, Mark Bloem has been abusing the French teenager all day long on our left flank. Collett and Thiago miss late chances on breakaways in stoppage time, but we hold out for the victory. Get stuffed, Pattison, the title is ours for the taking. Man of the Match: Matthias Laux   Man City 1-2 Wrexham  Mali, which had been ranked 4th in the world, fell all the way to 39th. Why? Because their results at the Africa Cup of Nations a year ago no longer count for as much. This despite the fact that their national team hasn't lost a match since June of 2021. FIFA rankings are a crock.  I have to replace you already? Why'd you even take the job then?! You better bring in an excellent crop of youngsters. vs Derby County, February 17, 2024 Premier League  Beating Arsenal and City are huge accomplishments and go a long way towards repeating our title, but we have to ward against complacency. Derby are 3 points from safety after a four year run in the league. A loss to them is just as bad as a loss to a really good team. Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Laux, Cirjak, Taffarel, Ünsal, Mair, Stringel, Aarts, Thiago. Subs: Kovacevic, Loseille, Bailey, Allan, Petts, Parr, Taborda. It's a good thing Thiago hits paydirt early, because we're giving Derby too many chances and not doing enough with our own. After half an hour it's still 1-0 despite creating 7 half chances. Quiboulaz finally makes it 2-0, but it took us 3 clear cut chances and 9 half chances to score it. Our former youth prospect Michael Upson always seems to find the goal against us, but there's no cause for alarm. Cirjak scores to restore the lead to two, and we take three points despite our woeful finishing. Still, we're tied with United atop the table, and we retain a game. Man of the Match: Tonci Cirjak   Wrexham 3-1 Derby  We should be the reason they match is being rescheduled, not them! As good as we've been this month I'm still upset that we're out of the FA Cup.  Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rock. He's been very good for Real Madrid, with 19 goals, but Thiago has netted us 17 and ably filled his absence.   Challenges accepted. Spain will be one tough opponent for the USMNT, but if we can beat Germany we can beat anyone. At Napoli, February 20, 2024 Champions League, Knockout Round Away Tie  The club hasn't had a great deal of success playing on the road in the Champions League knockout stages, but all we need is an away goal and we're favorites to advance. I've moved Rodrigo Taborda to the midfield, he's been in fine form recently and I wanted both him and Mujkic on the pitch at the same time. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Taborda, Bailey, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Stringel, Parr, Aarts. We concede when Napoli hit us on a counter attack, which frustrates the hell out of me because it means we got caught forward despite my orders to stay deep and play on the counter ourselves. Napoli scores a second goal before the end of the half, and then add a third bare minutes after the break. Meanwhile we've duffed two great opportunities, leading me to pull Thiago and Shirra, who have both been awful. Then I have to replace Collett a minute later due to injury. Most disappointing of all is the performance of our captain, Meteor squanders four clear cut chances. We can't even get a single lousy away goal, and the bushwack we suffered means we're out of the Champions League absent a miracle at the Racecourse Grounds.   Napoli 3-0 Wrexham  This will not stand. I hand out fines of two weeks salary to the biggest culprits, starting with our captain and including the Golden Boy.     They all blame their teammates instead of themselves. It's time to read them the riot act.     A quick dope-slap shuts them up. vs Newcastle United, February 24, 2024 Premier League  With the Leeds match postponed we'll have a whole week off before the League Cup semifinal against Manchester United. I'm sending out the same team with the exception of Ünsal being swapped in for Taborda, I want to see us bounce back with a much better performance and regain our confidence. Newcastle are one of three teams to beat us this year, the others being Leeds and Napoli. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Bailey, Ünsal, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Stringel, Parr, Aarts. So much for building confidence. Lazy defending leaves us down two goals after the first 20 minutes. We're still down two entering the locker room, and I'm reduced to scouring the squad with withering scorn for the second time in a week. Thiago responds by scoring twice within a five minute span to pull us even, but when Bailey pulls up lame in the 74th minute Newcastle show poor sportsmanship and keep the ball in play to score a breakaway goal while he's lying injured on the pitch. We've now lost twice to Newcastle, we've lost our advantage over Man United, and we've lost two in a row for the first time in 10 months.   Wrexham 2-3 Newcastle  Bailey was not good before his injury, and only gets away with his awful performance because I can't discipline someone who's injured. Stuart Mair is his replacement in the starting 11, and I'll be bringing up David Maloney from the youth squad for cover.   The beatings will continue until morale improves.  But I can't fine someone twice in a week, apparently. So I'll just have to scream at him instead.  I don't care about money at this point. I would give my left thumb for victories.  Australia finally fired Pete Elliot. I have to let Mujkic go as it's a World Cup qualifier. He should still be available for our League Cup final.  I can't expect to win these when we're getting zero points from goddamned Newcastle for the season.  Things were looking so good until the final week of February. Now we're tottering on the brink of an extremely early Champions League exit and our trip to Old Trafford for the second to last match of the season is looking like Ragnarok. We need to shape up immediately, we play United in three days for the League Cup trophy. 
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Sep 2, 2014 12:31
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Bloody typical. As soon as I hit my term limit and get ousted, everything turns into a bloody shambles. Get your arse into gear, Dreamsicle! I gave you the champions of England, Europe and the World, and I expect you to keep them that way!
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Sep 2, 2014 15:20
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(Cautious)100 million bloody pounds for your second choice?! More than doubling the record?! (Passionate) No wonder you're losing important matches, you've gone stark raving mad!
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Sep 2, 2014 15:27
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I warned you. Scott Brown's success has gone to his head, and Dreamsicle clearly doesn't have the strength of character to keep him in check. Dark days ahead, my friends and fellow Wrexhamites.
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Sep 2, 2014 15:58
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Fools! You doubt ME?! You would remain in the hinterlands of the soccer world were it not for the coruscating brilliance of my genius, bereft of anything but the hope that you might one day sneak back into the Football League! I have delivered glory, and I will continue to delivery glory! Bow before me, mortals! Look upon my works, and delight that I have allowed you to witness them! habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Sep 2, 2014 16:16
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Boo! Bring back AJ_Impy! Wrexham is going to hell without his cool, organised leadership!
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Sep 2, 2014 16:40
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habeasdorkus posted:Fools! You doubt ME?! You would remain in the hinterlands of the soccer world were it not for the coruscating brilliance of my genius, bereft of anything but the hope that you might one day sneak back into the Football League! I have delivered glory, and I will continue to delivery glory! FROM: Dreamsicle, Wrexham Fan Trust President TO: Scott Brown, Wrexham First Team Manager SUBJECT: Recent disappointments You're lucky you made that speech on a good day or I would have docked your pay. Right now, our form in non-league competitions has been very disappointing to put it very mildly. Now my job is to authorize budgets and I am willing to see them go as high as possible to give Wrexham an undefeated septuple. However, unlike my predecessors, I am willing to cut your pay and re-appropriate that to the wage budget. If I recall, the USMNT job earns you 27,000 a week. That should give us a solid backup player for more depth If you don't walk away with the League title, I will cut that amount out of your salary. Don't let my public persona fool you Mr. Brown. I am not a joke, and I am dead serious about doing whatever it takes to get that Septuple. Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 17:13 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Sep 2, 2014 16:46
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I'm still convinced that this little mental breakdown is still gentler than the one that would have happened if he had swept everything and realized he had no more worlds to conquer.
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Sep 2, 2014 17:07
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FROM: Ghostwoods, Managing Director TO: Scott Brown, Manager SUBJECT: Re: Recent disappointments A little birdie tells me that the well-oiled chap with the ice-lolly has been waving his handbag around in your direction. Just wanted to reassure you that he isn't speaking for the whole board. If you never lose a battle, you're not taking any risks -- and if you don't take risks, you wither and die. All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well. G. PS: I'll have that voodoo doll of Pattison on your desk by sundown. Many chickens died to bring you that imitation.
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Sep 2, 2014 17:22
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Chapter the Ninth: Fire and brimstone. March 1, 2024-April 1, 2024 Hopefully our first full week off after playing twice a week since early December will fix our sudden and terrifying complacency issue. Otherwise we're not going to add to our burgeoning trophy collection. I don't think we'll advance in the Champions League, just one away goal for Napoli would mean we'd need a 5-1 victory to advance and even if we keep a clean sheet we need to be up 3-0 after 90 minutes for even a chance at penalty kicks. Since we've already been turfed out of the FA Cup we could be down to fighting for only the EPL title by the end of the month.  The United States plays Olympic qualifiers this month. The Olympics are a weird Under-23 tournament mainly because FIFA doesn't want it becoming too popular and horning into their World Cup cash cow. The USA should qualify fairly easily, CONCACAF gets two spots and has a third country enter a playoff. I'm taking direct control of the squad, though, which means I'll be managing 14 matches this month between the national team matches and my Wrexham duties. vs Manchester United, March 3, 2024 Capital One Cup, Final  Get out there and win me that trophy. I'm tired of screaming myself hoarse during and after every game and I'm sure you're tired of having your wages garnished. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Petts, Taborda, Stringel, Aarts. Our smart, effective play at the start leads to lots of pressure. It allows Thiago to poach a goal in the 6th minute, his 20th of the season. We have 6 men in the United penalty area when our next goal comes from the foot of a hard working Collett, who collected his own rebound to score in the 21st minute. United are too good to go down without a fight, though. They pick one up when Hammatt doesn't mark his man, then another just before halftime when Hammatt and Loseille allows the scorer to slip by the both of them. Our offense has been great, our defense awful. We retake the lead via a questionable penalty after Ünsal is nudged in the box and drops to the ground as if dead. He succeeds in drawing the refs attention and Shirra takes a perfect penalty to make it 3-2 with 35 minutes remaining. United control possession for the rest of the match, and my tweaks are all efforts to keep them from getting a third goal. I sub Hammatt out, even though he's been better after halftime he's still been our weak link on defense all game. The tweaks work as intended and we stay focused and composed. United can't force an equalizer and we've won the Capital One Cup thanks to our second half defensive effort and the referee giving us a gift PK. Man of the Match: Matty Collett   Wrexham 3-2 Man United  All the online wags are calling it “The Quadruple.” We now have one of every trophy top level English league team can win but for a conquest of the Europa League. If we win the Premier League we'll have won five competitions in a season, something only seven clubs have ever accomplished. Celtic and Galatasaray are the only clubs with five trophies who compete in significant leagues, three of the others hail from Malta, Egypt, and Northern Ireland, and the last two are women's pro teams.  Four more points clinches a Champions League berth, and that's assuming Tottenham win all nine of their remaining matches. This should make the sixth place team happy, that spot on the table will now carry European qualification.  McLeod is rare among the top coaches in that he's not a dipstick. He's friends with just about everyone else who coaches in the Premier League. Apparently he doesn't like me much right now, though, he thinks I was playing mind games with him in the run-up to the League Cup final. I was being honest with my praise for him, it's not my fault that the media is awful. At West Ham United, March 6, 2024 Premier League  West Ham are at risk for relegation, but you could say that about half the league when only four points separate 18th place from 12th place. 18 year old David Maloney is in the starting 11 due to Bailey's injury and Morvan's departure. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak (c), O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Maloney, Petts, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Ünsal, Allan, Collett, De Blasio. Tonci Cirjak injures his arm early after taking a tumble, but fights through the pain to play well all game. We're have trouble controlling the match into the 39th minute. That's when Maloney makes a great interception at midfield which allows us to break towards the goal at pace, resulting in Parr finding Stringel in front of the net and giving us the lead. Bram Aarts struggles to make an impact all match, but keeps working hard and is rewarded with the swish of the ball against netting midway through the second half. Shortly thereafter Taborda is knocked out of the game, he stayed out of the trainers room for a whole two months this time. As per usual our defense gets a little sloppy towards the end of the match, but Fitzgerald makes an impressive save to preserve the clean sheet. Man of the Match: Shahed Parr   West Ham 0-2 Wrexham  Time to break out the ol' holographic projector. Our match against Napoli will determine whether this season's Champions League campaign can be salvaged or will be a complete catastrophe is coming up in six days. The American U23s are playing Jamaica on the same day, but several hours later. I'll obviously be in Wrexham, and then broadcasting myself to the US for the later match. At Sheffield United, March 9, 2024 Premier League  Regression to the mean hurts. After starting the season with 28 points from their first 13 matches Sheffield United has picked up 13 from their most recent 16 matches. That's three wins, four draws, and nine losses. 41 points is still good enough for sixth place, but to say that they're in a slump is an understatement. If their form holds we should win this. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Maloney, Petts, Parr, Allan, Gabbianelli, Aarts (c). Subs: Fitzgerald, Taffarel, Laux, Mair, Shirra, Collett, Stringel. Both sides rattle the crossbars in the first three minutes, but the score remains even until Richard Petts makes a key tackle to get us the ball in the opposition third with their defense completely out of position. He passes ahead to Aarts, and the goal looks like the broadside of the barn to the young Belgian. We make it 2-0 on a Parr shot across the keeper to the inside corner of the far post that leaves our traveling supporters speaking in tongues. We're fortunate that Sheffield hasn't been able to finish, though as our defense has been porous. That's proven when we give up a soft goal in first half stoppage time. It doesn't get any better in the second half, and Sheffield get the equalizer in the 70th minute. The scoring isn't over, though, and substitute Isaac Stringel is able to restore the lead with a late goal. Shahed Parr proceeds to put it out of reach two minutes later, and then gets his hat trick with a penalty kick two minutes after that. The match went from being a tight, nervy contest that we could well lose to a blowout in under five minutes. With the win we move atop the table for the first time since the seventh week of the season, and as Manchester United doesn't play for another four days we can enjoy it for a bit. Man of the Match: Shahed Parr   Sheffield Utd 2-5 Wrexham  If anything our youth intake is even worse than it was last year. I'm glad you're retiring, Maurice. You were clearly already halfway out the door when scouting for players. vs Napoli, March 13, 2024 Champions League, Knockout Round Home Tie  We need to score four times while keeping a clean sheet. I'm not optimistic. My instructions are to attack full force from the opening whistle, we're not going to get anything out of a desultory 2-0 win. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Shirra, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, Quiboulaz, Allan, Taborda, Parr, Aarts. Napoli scores in the 9th minute and I'm an apoplectic blaze in the technical area, you can see me blowing my top from space. After I stop screaming ancient and blasphemous obscenities I realize that the goal was called back, and we're not doomed quite yet. We aren't playing with enough urgency, though, and don't push through a goal until Thiago scores in first minute stoppage time. Still down two goals with only forty-five minutes to play the only thing I can do is give a speech worthy of a Shakespearean monologue, hopefully it's enough:  Thiago is doing everything he can to drag us back into the match, scoring a 20 meter golazo in the 62nd minute to give us a prayer. We put crushing pressure on Napoli for the next twenty minutes, but it's coming down to the wire and there's a growing air of desperation about the hometown crowd. Then Stringel streaks forward on the break and puts it away. We've clawed back from 3-0 down to make it 3-3. We need only to score another goal and prevent Napoli from scoring to complete the comeback. Stringel doesn't make me wait, bagging his brace just a minute later. We've roared back to make it 4-3 in the 84th minute! Not to be outdone, Thiago gets his hat trick in the 86th minute, then makes it four in the 88th minute when he sprints by the shell shocked Napoli defense and gets a one on one with the keeper. We've scored four times in under 10 minutes, and Napoli look utterly poleaxed. Minutes later it's over, and we've played perhaps the finest match of my career at Wrexham. Man of the Match: Thiago   Wrexham (6) 6-0 (3) Napoli   I summoned fire. I rained brimstone. I offered salvation.  It's comparatively relaxing to watch our U23 team stroll to a victory over Jamaica a couple hours later.  Which led me to believe I could leave the match management for the rest of the group stage in the hands of Paul Williams. That was a mistake. vs Swansea, March 16, 2024 Premier League, Welsh Derby  The decidedly second best team in Wales is a frightful five points clear of relegation. There's no reason to make staying up easy for them. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald (c), Reed, O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Mair, Ünsal, Parr, Allan, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Kovacevic, Laux, Hammatt, Maloney, Petts, Gabbianelli, De Blasio. Aarts doesn't record the quickest goal in Wrexham history, but he's not far off, being the man on the spot 12 seconds into the match to receive Taborda's cross after the Argentine winger streaks down the pitch in the opening moments. In the 20th minute the Swans centerback is charged with an own goal when he can't fully redirect an Aarts shot and we're up 2-0. That doesn't prove a safe lead. Former youth prospect Adrian Read makes a habit of scoring against us, much like Michael Upson. 2-1 in the 33rd minute. Read scores again to tie it up just before the half, and I'm muttering about how I'll buy Leonardo Salerno from Roma as my next wildly expensive purchase. We can't seem to handle Swansea's attack, they're knocking at the door looking for the go ahead goal. That makes it a pleasant surprise when Parr is the next to score, restoring our lead in the 65th minute. We have a chance to run the lead out to two in the 77th minute when Taborda is fouled, but Petts misses the penalty kick. Thus it's up to Aarts to provide the dagger in the 85th minute. It's a good thing, too, as Adrian Read finishes his hat trick before time is up. The final score flatters us, Petts added a last second goal in stoppage time to make it 5-3, but Swansea romped through our defense at will all game long. The first thing I tell the players when they get into the locker room that such a performance would get us killed against a better team.   Wrexham 5-3 Swansea  Even with the loss we still finished with more points than Mexico did in their group, they won once and drew twice. Now we just need to get through the next match and we're going to the Olympics. At Leeds United, March 20, 2024 Premier League  Keep them doggies rolling, rawhiiiiiide. United only managed a draw against West Brom, giving us sole possession of first place for the moment. It's time to make amends for the disgrace that was the FA Cup match in January. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Maloney, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. Nothing is more frustrating to me than the frequency with which we send shots over and wide of the target. When Thiago finally does put it on net it's our first goal. We're playing well, but the lead isn't comfortable when the break comes. Cristian Taffarel earns a penalty after being tripped from behind and there's no doubt that we're taking a two goal lead. Scott Shirra is automatic from the spot, he hasn't missed a penalty kick in four years and doesn't start now. We make it three-nil when right back Reed draws a free kick at the corner of the area after marauding upfield and Thiago pulls out his driver and shows exactly why the cries of terror at Bastable's departure have turned into cries of joy at his presence. There is a sour note before the match ends, though, as our defense gets lazy and forces Kovacevic to makes two late saves. Man of the Match: Thiago.   Leeds 0-3 Wrexham  Holy moley, United had an even crazier second leg than we did. They were down 3-1 before the match, and if you told me that Ajax would score three away goals I'd have been laughing about how United were toast. Instead, they storm back with an 8-6 aggregate victory.  Pack your bags for the Olympics, kids! We have a match against the Mexican U23s in the qualifying “final” just for giggles.  We can beat Dortmund, who aren't even the best team in Germany. Of course, I said that about Napoli and we needed four goals in the final ten minutes to advance from the first knockout round.  Parr isn't the ubermensch I'd hoped for when we first brought him in, but it's hard to argue with his results.  It's nice that Bastable is still following the club. I'd like to think that he DVRs our matches to watch after he plays for Madrid and skypes with his old buddies. At Derby County, March 24, 2024 Premier League  This is our last match before the March international break. It's no time to get sloppy, I want to maintain our lead over United. Also, a win here means we match our points total for all last season at 82. The relegation pack is getting sorted out, and only five teams face real risk now. Derby's one of them. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Malone, Petts, Parr, Aarts. Thiago has been scorching hot the last two matches, but whiffs twice in the early minutes. It eventually takes him four tries, but he scores in the 32nd minute, nutmegging the defender when he cuts inside to create his shot. We only score that one time, but thanks to firm defense we don't need anything more. I'm glad to be able to say that after the last few weeks. Man of the Match: Steve Reed   Derby 0-1 Wrexham  Fifteen league goals with about 20% of the season remaining, to go with three goals in cup competitions and nine (!) goals in seven Champions League matches. The entire North of Wales needs to build a cathedral to whatever deity that made Thiago available after l'affaire du Bastable.  “Dos a uno” doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but a win is a win.  Seriously? Unless they've made major changes to the real life qualification rules we only needed to be top two for a spot, and if we'd finished third we'd have entered a playoff against a South American team for a spot. Of course, even with that easy path to qualification the US didn't make it to the 2020 Olympics, so maybe that's what they're comparing against.  I've made the executive decision to stop doing full writeups of friendlies, both internationally and for Wrexham. There's really not much to say about either the United States smacking around Syria or Wrexham demolishing some poor nation's best teams while on tour, so I'll just be noting the results rather than putting together full game reports with highlights. We played Syria because Mali pulled out of an arranged friendly at the last minute, and Syria was the highest ranked club that we could schedule on late notice, at 48th in the world.  If nothing else I'm doing a good job keeping their morale up.  For shame, Americans. I've brought you a Gold Cup already and have only lost twice in my tenure as national team coach, and you're not showing up to our matches to support the Red, White, and Blue? I am unimpressed.  Aarts has been sensational for us, with 16 goals in 16 starts and 10 substitute appearances. It's about time that he gets his first cap for the Netherlands, at the age of 23 he looks like he'll be a fixture for them over much of the next decade.  Hate. Stringel is going to have to step up while Shirra is out, Rodrigo Taborda will also be playing there if Isaac gets too exhausted. USMNT   We're going to the Olympics! USA! USA! USA! I want to come home with a medal, though I'll admit that's going to be difficult considering the level of competition we'll face. Wrexham  The Premier League is a little top heavy this season, and that can be seen in the goal differentials. Wrexham and United are a combined +118 goals. This isn't spectacularly unusual, but it does show the talent gap between us and everyone else. Wrexham has already set a new record club record for Premier League wins, with 26, and we've equaled our points total from last year with six games to play. If we win every single remaining match we'll hit 100 points. Given that we have games against Arsenal and Manchester United left that's not all that likely, but it's something to dream on. We can also dream of repeating as Champions of Europe, thanks to that amazing comeback against Napoli. The sextuple is still within reach! 
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Sep 2, 2014 19:32
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I've actually had the last four updates drafted since August 20th, but work crushed me for a bit. Sorry about the lack of updates, and the flood of them. The ingame date is April 17 as I write this, so there might be ANOTHER update today depending on whether I get the work I'm waiting on sent to me or not before I finish it. I've also added a trophy section to the first post, if you want to look at all the shiny we've collected so far.
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Sep 2, 2014 19:36
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Holy hell, that Napoli match. Jesus. I like to think that was all due to Dreamsicle threatening to dock the coach's precious wages.
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Sep 2, 2014 19:40
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Frankly, I didn't think we'd make it through to the next round of the Champions League. Thank god Thiago can pull it out in big matches. He hasn't been as big a general presence on the field as Bastable but he does deliver on the big stage as his Champions League scoring record proves. How's the head to head going?
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Sep 2, 2014 20:35
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Thiago's been insane since February, with 11 goals in the last two months. He's at 29 overall as of April 1st, including 15 league goals. He's scored in the last five matches he's played, and in six of the last seven. Bastable has been good, but not quite that good. He leads La Liga with 18 goals, but only has 23 across all competitions. It's not because of a lack of playing time, either. He's played 47 matches compared to Thiago's 33.* The one thing Rock is much better at, though, is setting up his teammates. Thiago only has three assists, while the Bastard has twelve. * I tend to use much more squad rotation than other clubs, it's rare for our outfield players to play more than 40 matches a year.
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Sep 2, 2014 20:58
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Are AU Ancelotti and Mourhino still around?
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Sep 2, 2014 21:12
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The Special One is not so special, having gotten sacked from Chelsea in 2017 (though he did win the 2015 league title) and bouncing between three clubs since then with no real success. He's currently on his second stint at Inter, who are currently fighting the Bulls of Torino for Serie A's fourth and final Champions League spot. Ancelotti was with Real Madrid until 2020, and brought them 5 La Liga titles. AU-Real Madrid still hasn't won la decima, though, unlike in real life. He then spent two years as head coach of Spain's national team, and retired after the 2022 World Cup. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Sep 2, 2014 21:57
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Chapter the Tenth: Player three has entered the game. April 1, 2024-April 20, 2024 Getting knocked out of the FA Cup has actually been something of a blessing as it means we don't have an incredibly cramped schedule throughout April and our matches will mostly be four days apart. I tend to rotate our squad much more than any other team, with none of our players getting more than 2/3rds of the starts in any single season. That leaves us fit and comparatively rested, giving us a vital advantage over clubs that have had some players start every single game of the season. Just consider how Cyril Boumsong of Manchester United feels chasing Thiago around when the latter has logged a thousand fewer minutes on the pitch over the last nine months.  You took your sweet time giving me one of these this year, Football Association.   Thiago's been on fire the last month, scoring 11 goals in seven matches and has at least one in each of his last five appearances. vs Borussia Dortmund, April 2, 2024 Champions League, Quarterfinal Home Tie  We've been crap against opponents in the Champions League away from the hills of Wales, so taking a big lead against Dortmund is important. I don't want to go to Germany needin a win. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Loseille, Quiboulaz, Taborda, Parr, Aarts. We get off to a fast start as Mujkic finds Thiago at the far post and the lanky Italian's header carooms off the underside of the bar and over the goal line. It's Thiago's 10th goal and Mujkic's 9th assist in the Champions League this season. Dortmund are denied by the post minutes later, but that leaves them vulnerable to a counter attack, and Stringel feeds Thiago a perfectly weighted ball that he deposits in the back of the net. We proceed to squander a number of chances thereafter, and can't increase our lead. That's not good, because Dortmund's attacking midfielder Luca Jara is causing all sorts of havoc. He gives Dortmund an away goal on the counter attack, and we're doing an awful job containing him. Even after Mair is assigned to mark him tightly, Jara is able to get free and level the match at two-all in the second half. That's before Mair blows his top and gets sent off for a wild and idiotic two footed tackle, ending any chance we had of winning the match in the final minutes. We're going to need a win in Germany to advance. Man of the Match: Thiago   Wrexham 2-2 Dortmund   He's going to be suspended for at least the away leg, and possibly for the rest of the Champions League if they give him a four game suspension. What a moron.  Laux has gone from being a rock at the heart of our defense to wildly inconsistent. In some games he's that rock, and in others his lack of discipline and concentration cost us dearly. His refusal to take responsibility for his poor play is a bad look, and his problems are Quiboulaz's opportunity to earn more time in the starting 11. At Aston Villa, April 6, 2024 Premier League  Assuming that United win their game in hand we're two points up on them. If we retain that advantage, it means that a draw at Old Trafford in the penultimate week of the league keeps us in first place. Villa haven't scored in four games, so I expect them to take two shots all game and for us to lose 2-1. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Laux, O'Hanlon, Loseille, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Taborda, Mujkic (c), Aarts. Subs: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Maloney, Allan, Stringel, Thiago. Collett puts it in the back of the net in the 7th minute, but even he knows that it's getting called back as he's wildly offside. It's a good sign that our offense will be able to find space to work in, though. That proves true when Taborda flicks on a cross from Mujkic which Aarts volleys in seven minutes later. Villa haven't threatened much during the match, but they're able to equalize on a spectacular free kick from well outside the box. The fine goal uses up whatever luck Villa had for the day, and from there it's all Dragons all the time. First Aarts catches the Villa defenders ball watching on a Cirjak cross from the touchline, arriving perfectly in sync with the ball for his second goal of the match. Then Mair gets lucky when the keeper utterly misplays his poor cross and lets it into the back of the net. That's followed by Aarts capping his day with a hat trick in the 70th minute when he crashes the near post during a corner. Finally Taborda makes the scoreline embarrassing for Villa after he's left all alone about 20 feet from the net. I was right about Villa getting a lucky goal despite their punchless offense. I was wrong about our own offense, they lit up the home team like a Christmas tree ignited by an electrical blaze. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts   Aston Villa 1-5 Wrexham  He's been with the club for three years now, and is only now getting to his 50th appearance due to injuries. I'm still a Taborda fan, he's got 7 goals and 6 assists in 19 matches this season, but he would be so much better if he could just stay on the pitch.   I'd forgotten about the clause even existing, and doing some digging I found a screen that contains all contract and transfer clauses in one handy location. It also tells you which clauses you can buyout for a lower price. In Hammatt's case there's no way he doesn't get into 14 more matches with us and so it saves us money to buyout the clause.  United have only played through four rounds of the FA Cup so far. They're an offensive monster, likely to score over 100 goals in the league. They're still quite a ways off the real FA Cup record, Preston North End's Jimmy Ross scored 19 goals by himself way way back in 1888. I'm betting a lot of those came during his club's 26-0 drubbing of Hyde in the first round.  .png) As an international manager one of my responsibilities is to make sure my players know that I'm thinking of them when they get hurt. My call lifts Toninho's spirits. He'll be out until mid-May, and back in plenty of time for our friendly against Spain. It's best to use this feature whenever one of your players suffers a bad injury, it helps their motivation to get healthy, makes them like you more, and improves morale among the squad.  If we get past Dortmund he's out for the first leg of the semifinal. Otherwise the ban will carry over to next season.  Citing his goal scoring record this season creates a pretty self refuting article, tuttomercatoweb.com.  United are terrifying. Thumping Ajax 7-3 is surprising, but it should be downright impossible to thrash Bayern flippin' Munich 7-1. At Borussia Dortmund, April 10, 2024 Champions League, Quarterfinal Away Tie  We need to win, a draw won't cut it unless we somehow score three goals. I've had the boys drilling defensive positioning, if we can take a lead I want to make sure we can hold onto it. That's going to be harder since all three of our best defensive minded midfielders are out, Ünsal because he's cup tied, Bailey due to his torn hamstring, and Mair because he's a freakin' idiot. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Taffarel, Petts, Taborda, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Loseille, Laux, Allan, Collett, Aarts. What could have been a vital early goal goes begging when Thiago misses by inches 60 seconds into the match. Then Taborda can't make a set piece count, he got loose in the six yard box and had a free header that hit the post. We've been the better side through the first half, and our defense has been especially impressive in denying Dortmund any space to opperate in, but we're still 45 minutes from elimination. I order the players to work down the flanks more in order to take advantage of Mujkic and Parr outclassing their opponents, and tell them that I expect us to be advancing to the semifinal come full time. Their response is immediate and gratifying, with Meteor streaking down the left side in the 46th minute and jinking past the Dortmund keeper before depositing the ball into the net. Late in the match I bring on Collett and Cirjak for Taborda and Reed, both of whom have picked up yellow cards. Just a minute later we catch Dortmund on the break to take a two goal lead, as Thiago heads in a rebound off the keepers gloves. We thoroughly outplayed Dortmund and did it in Germany. It's booked our return to the semifinal. Man of the Match: Ed Hammatt   Dortmund (2) 0-2 (4) Wrexham   What was that I heard from our new President in Thief about docking my pay?  Why do you need elbows to play soccer anyways?  The phrase I'm looking for after the draw is “pleased as punch.” That's because Atletico, while a very good club, is not Manchester United. United get drawn against City, meaning that if we can hold up our end of the bargain it'll be another Wrexham vs. The Manchesters battle for a trophy.  Leeds has made it to the final of the FA Cup, ensuring a place in Europe next season as their opponents, Manchester United, have clinched Champions League qualification. I'm going to be pulling hard for Leeds, if they somehow beat United then we could at least tell ourselves that the only reason we didn't add a second Cup to our trophy cabinet was because we lost to the eventual winner. vs West Ham United, April 15, 2024 Premier League  Manchester United will actually have three games in hand on us after this match, and since they're completely capable of sweeping all three matches we need to keep up the pressure by nailing the Hammers to the wall. I don't think that's technically a mixed metaphor. At least our central midfield of Ünsal and Mair is well rested. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Maloney, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. Thiago is truly great, and his brilliant interplay with Mujkic has lead to oodles of goals. This one comes in the 30th minute and is his 31st of the year. The two link up again for a second goal, this time off a corner, just before the break. The Hammers come out strong after intermission, and for the opening ten minutes of the second half have us on our back foot. But they scuff their best chance, and we withstand their bluster throughout the second half. That said, I was concerned enough to bring in Quiboulaz as a midfield destroyer for the final 10 minutes due to their persistence, but we have the last laugh when Ünsal springs Meteor in stoppage time and our captain gets on the scoresheet himself to go along with his two assists. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic   Wrexham 3-0 West Ham  The game is much more rigid than anyone in real life about determining when a team clinches a Champions League spot, we've had fourth place wrapped up for a month now.  Despite the overall quality of our recent performances there are still some players suffering tepid runs of form. Collett hasn't been outright bad, but he's well behind the rest of the club in his performances. I feel it's better to let him know that I'm watching and want to see more from him than have it go unaddressed and potentially fester into an out and out slump.  America's spot in the top 20 is going to go poof when the Gold Cup results from last June don't fully count anymore. We're going to get Mali'd, the only question is how far we fall.  Once is coincidence and twice is happenstance, but this is suspicious. I'm guessing that we've seen AJ_Impy and Sky Shadowing take over clubs because they were forced to leave their Presidency due to term limits enforced by the savegame editor, and their ingame character still wants to run a football club. And since the game doesn't differentiate between presidents of Fan Trusts and rich guys who can buy their own club the game decides that they have the resources to plonk down millions of pounds for a new one. Reading appear safely midtable with four games left to play, while Sky Shadowing's Southampton needs one point to clinch promotion from the Championship back to the EPL. It looks like Wrexham is taking over the Premier League in a wholly seperate manner than I intended.  Eh, you're no Pattison. vs Arsenal, April 20, 2024 Premier League  Arsenal present the second most difficult remaining league matchup, the trip to Old Trafford in two weeks will be worse, but we can control our own destiny until then with a win here and against Stoke City in a week. Arsenal are sitting in third place and have clinched a top four finish, but City are two points behind them and they could have to go through a playoff before the group stage next season if they fall behind. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, Laux, Maloney, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. Collett gives up the ball far too easily in our half of the field, which turns into an early Arsenal lead. A Cirjak to Meteor header gets us back to even, Mujkic has really been coming on strong as the pressure rises. Matty Collett makes up for his mistake, roofing the ball on a volley, and the goal gives Tonci Cirjak his second assist of the day. Collett scores again, too easily, after finding himself all alone ten yards from the goal and with Stringel's pass at his feet. Our speed is too much for Arsenal's back line to handle, and it's made the score 3-1 after the initial 45. We continue pushing Arsenal around in the second half. Collett has completely recovered from his blunder at the dawn of the game and is putting on a clinic from the right wing, his accurate delivery to Stringel puts us up 4-1. Arsenal aren't threatening from open play, but do manage a second goal via free kick. It's not enough to keep them from getting so frustrated that one of their centerbacks hacks down Stringel with 10 minutes remaining, getting himself sent off in the process and leaving them at even more of a disadvantage. We coast the rest of the way to victory. It puts us on 91 points with three Premier League matches remaining. Man of the Match: Matty Collett   Wrexham 4-2 Arsenal  I didn't say a single negative word about him before the match, other than that I figured he was trying to play mind games with me by hyping our rivalry. What a prat.  Leeds downed Man U in what I hope is a preview of the FA Cup Final. It means that we can afford to lose to United when we play them in Manchester two weeks from now and still win the league so long as we defeat Stoke and Everton.  We clinch the Premiership title with two more wins, or with a win and a draw at United on May 4th. We've returned to the Champions League Semifinal, and facing off against a club we should be able to handle in Atletico. Only one team in the last forty-five years has done the league/Champions League double in back to back years. That would be the team we're fighting for the Premiership and will most likely face again in a Champions League final- Manchester United. They did it in 2020 and 2021. I doubt they expected their primacy to be challenged so quickly. I especially doubt they expected the challenge to come from Wales. Supremacy is within reach, all we need do is grasp hold and secure it.   BOARD VOTES(Debonairly) Welcome, gentlefolk of the Board. It is time for our annual financial review and planning meeting.  This season has seen us spend down the nest egg we created last summer as we moved to bring in one of the best players in the world, Sinan Ünsal, on a record deal. As we are not yet printing our own currency a la Manchester United or Real Madrid, this will not be a commonplace occurance. At the end of the season it is expected that the club will have anywhere between £10,000,000 and £35,000,000 cash on hand.  Wrexham's income is already £100,000,000 greater than the previous season's total, but that is largely an artifact of a £128,000,000 increase in player sales. Once we take that into account we see that we're on course to earn approximately £40,000,000 than we did last season. These improvements are split primarily between increased merchandise sales, greater commercial sponsorship income, and an increase in gate receipts and season ticket sales.  As you can see, our transfer expenditure is over £100,000,000 greater than the previous season. The difference can be entirely attributed to the purchase of Ünsal. Of the remaining increase over last years expenses, another £30,000,000 can be attributed to one time costs related to facility improvements and agent fees. After taking into account the next two and a half months of salaries and bonuses, we can estimate that expenses outside these categories will have risen by roughly £40,000,000 as compared to the prior year. Wrexham is presently a self sustaining operation, and requires no player sales to fund the current squad. Due to our recent transfer spending, I have decided to hold off requesting the final upgrades to our youth and senior team training facilities for the moment. That leaves two questions I'd like the board to give consideration to: QUESTION ONE: Unified transfer and wage budget allocation. (Prudently) Our current unified transfer and wage budget is set at £155m, £11m more than originally set thanks to the effect of sales on our transfer budget. We are currently spending £1.75m/wk (£90m/yr) on player wages, good for fifth in the Premier League and 13th worldwide but still less than 2/3rds of what the Manchesters spend and less than half of PSG's wage bill. Still, I feel that as a club we have no significant weaknesses to address and reducing the sum to £130m would protect the financial health of the club. If I need more money I will either ask for it or sell players. Please list a sum between £100m and £175m, the final amount will be the average of all votes. QUESTION TWO: Feeder clubs. (Evenly) I noticed that the first action of the new board after the elections was to cancel our link with Radnicki Nis, without having asked my opinion on the matter. I would now like to ask the board to consider forming links with other clubs for two purposes. One, it would be useful to form another affiliation like our link with Chivas USA to improve our global name recognition and increase our income. Two, it would be helpful to establish a parent/feeder relationship with a lower-mid table club in one of the top four European Leagues in order to have a place to send our prospects who aren't quite ready to contribute to our senior team but are far too good to languish in the reserves. A) (Mammon-iacally) Our merchandise sales are up over 100% from last year! Just wait until we break into the Chinese market! (Seek a foreign affiliate to boost visibility and income) B) (Overestimating-ly) There's no point in having players like Rouissi, Ikeda, Gabbianelli, and Allan sit in our reserves all season when they could be getting better. Some midtable wretch such as Chelsea, perhaps? (Seek a top division feeder where we can send players on loan) C) (Supportively) We should clearly do both, first the farm club affiliate so that it's in place prior to the start of next season, and then the economic affiliate. (Seek a top division feeder to send players on loan and seek an affiliate that will improve visibility and income) D) (Dreamsicle-ly) You're the manager of this club, nothing more. We make the business decisions around here, and we don't need to consult you. (No new affiliates) Voting will close on Friday, September 5, at 12pm EST.
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Sep 3, 2014 00:23
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150 mil, A). Gotta get that dosh first and foremost.
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Sep 3, 2014 00:28
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 Welwyn Garden City? Not quite, but that's not too far off the mark. Anyway. Scott, Dreamsicle, got a proposition for you. Phase One of Operation: Woolwichdämmerung is complete with my purchase of Reading, who conveniently are located in the Premier League. You're on the lookout for a feeder club you can loan out some stars to, so they can take some points off your rivals but not you. Let's help each other out, here. Let me sweeten the deal: 1: £175M 2: C
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Sep 3, 2014 00:41
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AJ_Impy posted:
Blatant corruption in football: where'd you get all that cash from, eh?  £110m C You want crazy money, you'd better shift some more players (and also keep a better eye on it).
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Sep 3, 2014 00:50
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AJ_Impy posted:
I like the way this fine man thinks! Let's see if he can do for Reading what he did for Wrexham!
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Sep 3, 2014 00:57
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Excerpt from WalesOnline interview April 11, 2024  : How do you feel about Wrexham's draw against Athletico in the Champions League? : Cory Waters, it should come as no surprise but we're going to beat the hell out of those assclowns. We've tasted championship gold and we want to keep tasting it.: Um alright. For the Manchester semifinals who do you want to go on top? : Personally I want City to win because I enjoy putting Peterson in the Liontamer after we beat that fat wrinkly doofus.: Rumor has it that at the end of February, you threatened to cut Brown's pay for his recent struggles. Care to comment?: Look, Scott Brown is Excellence and I know that because Dreamsicle is also Excellence. But sometimes even the greatest get complacent, so I had to give him a kick in the pants. Looked like it worked huh?End of Excerpt OOC: I'm not that great at Jericho-esque instead of straight promos so they're more likely to disappoint. FROM: Dreamsicle, Wrexham Fan Trust President TO: Scott Brown, Wrexham First Team Manager SUBJECT: Don't Let Up and Requests Looks like that wage threat got you worked up enough to crush the competition, good job. Just don't let off the gas pedal so we can give the Wrexhamholics that Sextuple this year. It will at least give me a better chance in getting the WWE to sponsor us. I understand that you have come to the board with some requests. I feel that our Wage/Transfer budget should be set at 160 million . I can trust you to spend wisely and not sink us into debt. I'm setting it this high so Wrexham can weaken United. Right now, they're putting us in some fear so if we can poach a good player from them that will set us up in a more secure position. I know your upset about our loss of Radnicki, but they're not good enough to improve our youth and there's not much room for popularity growth in the region. In my opinion, we should get an affiliate that play in a competitive league to get our loaners up to standard first, and then expand name recognition. I hear Japan should be highly marketable after Captain Tsubasa 2023 was released. Reading, Sheffield and Chelsea look nice, a Serie A side would also be pretty good. Good luck, and keep winning. TL;DR: 1)160 Million 2)C OOC (2): Do any of United's top players fit in to the Wrexham system? I'm still keeping the 160 Million offer either way. And yeah I've been reading the Aurora LP so I've taken a liking to the memo format when I break kayfabe. I hope the you don't stop till the 2030 World Cup now. My heel turn after I leave is going to be great. Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Sep 3, 2014 |
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Sep 3, 2014 01:07
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We should keep the LP going until every Premier League club is run by a former Wrexham board member.
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Sep 3, 2014 01:25
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£110m C We're getting updates as fast as Wrexham scoring.
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Sep 3, 2014 01:35
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155mill, C
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Sep 3, 2014 02:52
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FROM: ThePenIsMightier, Managing Director, Master of Coin TO: Scott Brown, First of his Name, Lord of the Man Down, Slayer of Napoli, Defender of Wales, Protector from the Manchesters and Explorer of the Great Australian Outback SUBJECT: Board Requests Please let the board know the next time you plan to drop £100 Million on a player. Do you have any idea how many other football clubs that could buy? We could probably own our own Series A feeder team to loan players to. Despite my complaints, your results have been nothing short of astounding since day one: Every time we give you more money it doubles. Might as well answer the question then: Take the full £175 Million One small request: Quit handing out those renegotiated contracts like Dreamsicle hands out threats. The club needs to remain self sustaining, which is impossible if every salary triples. Regarding the feeder team, I like the idea of getting a high profile team like Chelsea C, but would prefer it to be outside of the premier league. Something about a feeder in the same league bothers me. Imagine a loaned player scoring a major goal or something like that to crush Wrexham's hopes. One final question for the man who could turn Wrexham into London if he cared to try: What do I have to do to see a proper Balance Sheet these days? I know that the standard reporting method was moved to screen-caps after the great auditor revolt of 2014, but I'd like to have some breakdown of how club value is measured instead of an opaque single number at the end of each year. Much Respect, Pen
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Sep 3, 2014 04:50
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quote:Something about a feeder in the same league bothers me. Imagine a loaned player scoring a major goal or something like that to crush Wrexham's hopes. You'll be pleased to learn that players loaned from our squad cannot be used against us, at least in Football League and Football Association competitions like the FA Cup and Premiership. They could screw us over by scoring an important goal in a match we're not involved in, though, if that was your meaning.
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Sep 3, 2014 04:58
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