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Crotch Bat
Dec 6, 2003

Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.

Ribsauce posted:

I pulled it off once in front of a bunch of friends. One was a huge fan and loved it but everyone else just thought I was a moron.


The thing that irritates me most about Joan Rivers dying are all these blogs and jerkoffs on twitter anointing her to sainthood. Meanwhile, any random person who tweets what would be a perfect Joan Rivers joke (like the one "On a plane to Africa, hope I don't get Aids") becomes victim to the internet fake outrage mob mentality and practically has their life ruined.

This is not a dig at Joan Rivers, just an observation. It is going to happen again when Don Rickles dies. There will never be any other comedians like them because the rush to win the outrage war would destroy anyone who tries to pull off 1/10th of the jokes they did. Too many people wake up every morning looking for something to be offended by to allow another Joan Rivers to exist.

Don Rickles is a saint, though. The guy got famous for making fun of Sinatra to his face, I don't know how else you'd describe someone that untouchable in this day and age.

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Smeep
Jan 20, 2004

Crotch Bat posted:

Don Rickles is a saint, though. The guy got famous for making fun of Sinatra to his face, I don't know how else you'd describe someone that untouchable in this day and age.

For some reason whenever I think of Rickles I think of him on some talk show, probably Carson, talking about Bob Newhart, saying he was so classy (or something to that effect) that he gets out of the shower to pee.

Also he was really funny playing a robber on an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show a million years ago.

In summary, the following people are not allowed to die in 2014:

Don Rickles
Bob Newhart
Dick Van Dyke

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007

Crotch Bat posted:

Don Rickles is a saint, though. The guy got famous for making fun of Sinatra to his face, I don't know how else you'd describe someone that untouchable in this day and age.

It's short, but the bio of Rickles on the Rotten Library is great:

http://rotten.com/library/bio/entertainers/comic/don-rickles/

quote:

"What are you guys, lost?" Rickles blurts. "This isn't the Sands." He instructs a cocktail waitress to get them a drink. "You guys do drink, don't you? Frank, buy them a drink. You got plenty of money." When Lawford tips the waitress, Rickles continues. "Hey that's good. Frank, you got him trained. Now sit down. Sammy, you get permission to be out this late? You can't get negro help like that any more. To have a guy who can sing and dance - and dust."

The crowd is silent. Casino bodyguards move to the back, prepared to restrain Sinatra if he loses it. The room is visibly uncomfortable. Collectively, audience members wonder if this is really part of the act.

kylej
Jul 6, 2004

Grimey Drawer
Wow this is quite the find. Jeff the Drunk's first call from 1992.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT1aZQisZJI

an adult beverage
Aug 13, 2005

1,2,3,4,5 dem gators don't take no jive. go gator -US Rep. Corrine Brown (D) FL

kylej posted:

Wow this is quite the find. Jeff the Drunk's first call from 1992.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT1aZQisZJI

drat, I had no idea you could live 22 years being that drunk all the time.

clopping and cumming
Jun 24, 2005

kylej posted:

Wow this is quite the find. Jeff the Drunk's first call from 1992.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT1aZQisZJI

That makes me miss the old days.

Dr.Caligari
May 5, 2005

"Here's a big, beautiful avatar for someone"
Does anyone have a youtube link to the prank caller who would start the call in a woman voice and then abruptly switch to a deep male voice? I remember them pranking KC at least once.

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
I just saw that Howard reportedly delivered the eulogy at Rivers funeral. Pretty awesome privilege if you ask me.

Smeep
Jan 20, 2004

Jose Oquendo posted:

I just saw that Howard reportedly delivered the eulogy at Rivers funeral. Pretty awesome privilege if you ask me.

How cynical am I that the first thing I thought was that he probably demanded he be allowed to deliver the eulogy or else he wouldn't attend.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

Smeep posted:

How cynical am I that the first thing I thought was that he probably demanded he be allowed to deliver the eulogy or else he wouldn't attend.

Sand Monster
Apr 13, 2008

Do you think he would have attended if Beth had twisted her ankle earlier in the day?

Shes Not Impressed
Apr 25, 2004


Sand Monster posted:

Do you think he would have attended if Beth had twisted her ankle earlier in the day?

Probably would have happened as she slipped out of Stamos' apartment

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Dr.Caligari posted:

Does anyone have a youtube link to the prank caller who would start the call in a woman voice and then abruptly switch to a deep male voice? I remember them pranking KC at least once.

I'm 99% sure that's Zolar. (I know this isn't as good as a link, but that's all you get right now.)

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Smeep posted:

How cynical am I that the first thing I thought was that he probably demanded he be allowed to deliver the eulogy or else he wouldn't attend.

I wonder what he thought of the seating arrangements.

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Smeep posted:

How cynical am I that the first thing I thought was that he probably demanded he be allowed to deliver the eulogy or else he wouldn't attend.

I would bet United States dollars that that's exactly what happened.

burmart
Sep 14, 2002

10,000 Cunts
Is there an archive of all the times Alison was on the show? I guess that he had to erase her from the shows history after the divorce, but I remember some really funny Alison stuff when they were married.

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
I'm a relatively new Stern fan. I've NEVER heard her at all in any of the re-runs they air. I don't even think they played any clips in the History of Howard Stern. It is most definitely some sort of condition of their divorce.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

The Howard Stern Show Megathread: "Can I tell you my favorite HS bit, real briefly?"

Sand Monster
Apr 13, 2008

Hard to know with Gilbert if this is him being serious or not:

https://twitter.com/RealGilbert/status/509029283164336128

"Listen, Gilbert... the fact of the matter is, the show has evolved..."

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

Sand Monster posted:

Hard to know with Gilbert if this is him being serious or not:

https://twitter.com/RealGilbert/status/509029283164336128

"Listen, Gilbert... the fact of the matter is, the show has evolved..."

On his podcast, he's talked about being snubbed by various people in the past and laughs about it.

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Sand Monster posted:

Hard to know with Gilbert if this is him being serious or not:

https://twitter.com/RealGilbert/status/509029283164336128

"Listen, Gilbert... the fact of the matter is, the show has evolved..."

From his other tweets, it sounds like he was on the Ron and Fez show, so Howard might have snubbed him.

JB50
Feb 13, 2008

Hasnt he been banned since he spit in the cupcakes?

How Much Art
Oct 29, 2003
Trampoline Destroys Bear
Howard's such a oval office. Retire already you washed up wig wearing turd. How dare he snub Gilbert. Sorry but that loving bugs me. AUGHHHH

Crotch Bat
Dec 6, 2003

Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.
I imagine what this amounts to is he was in the building for another show and saw the back of Howard's head and the rest is him being Gilbert.

-Atom-
Sep 13, 2003

Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Crotch Bat posted:

I imagine what this amounts to is he was in the building for another show and saw the back of Howard's head and the rest is him being Gilbert.

This is my guess as well.

Mr Lance Murdock
Feb 29, 2008

Bones heal. Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world

JB50 posted:

Hasnt he been banned since he spit in the cupcakes?

Pretty sure he was on the show last year...and the cupcakes were a while ago.

How Much Art
Oct 29, 2003
Trampoline Destroys Bear

Crotch Bat posted:

I imagine what this amounts to is he was in the building for another show and saw the back of Howard's head and the rest is him being Gilbert.

It very well could be, and I hope so.

null_user01013
Nov 13, 2000

Drink up comrades

JB50 posted:

Hasnt he been banned since he spit in the cupcakes?

Gilbert is a lovable lunatic. That was pretty loving gross, but he really knew how to push Howard's buttons. But wasn't the real target of that Artie? Like he was stopping Artie from eating them all?

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






You can pull a lot of hijinks on the Stern show but loving with the food seems to be a no-no.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Grillos only important job was to get Howard lunch by 10 am.

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax

haljordan posted:

You can pull a lot of hijinks on the Stern show but loving with the food seems to be a no-no.

Also, leaving streaks in the toilet.

null_user01013
Nov 13, 2000

Drink up comrades

Irish Joe posted:

Also, leaving streaks in the toilet.

or just using the toilet, Lisa G you gross human!!!!

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Irish Joe posted:

Also, leaving streaks in the toilet.

That whole ordeal was loving hilarious because Tim Sabean obviously knew he did wrong yet only cracked under threat of DNA testing. "I was sick!!! I was sick!!!"

I mean, I've had VIOLENT diarrhea before yet I still managed to get it all in the bowl.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

AxeManiac posted:

or just using the toilet, Lisa G you gross human!!!!

Is there a link to when the "Lisa Glassberg takes shits at work" thing started? Same goes for Steve Langford's thing.

Sasquatch!
Nov 18, 2000


YouPorn has got to be an unannounced sponsor, right? He drops their name WAY too often in conversation for it to not be.

Brocktoon
Jul 18, 2006

Before we engage we should hang back and study their tactics.

Sasquatch! posted:

YouPorn has got to be an unannounced sponsor, right? He drops their name WAY too often in conversation for it to not be.

I think the better explanation is that they're not and Howard is an incredible hypocrite.

Corb3t
Jun 7, 2003

Could anybody else listen to Howard make fun of and impersonate Pat Robertson all day long?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=?xFaZKx8WSlM

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Sasquatch! posted:

YouPorn has got to be an unannounced sponsor, right? He drops their name WAY too often in conversation for it to not be.

I work for YouPorn, and as far as I know, we're not.

Sasquatch!
Nov 18, 2000


Brocktoon posted:

I think the better explanation is that they're not and Howard is an incredible hypocrite.
Why would that make him a hypocrite?

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I work for YouPorn, and as far as I know, we're not.
Your site would be the first place I'd think to look if I was looking for "babysitter porn".

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Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Sasquatch! posted:

Why would that make him a hypocrite?

Your site would be the first place I'd think to look if I was looking for "babysitter porn".

I don't know why he wouldn't be pushing Pornhub; it's the king of all free Internet adult media (I work for them, too! Yay umbrella companies!).

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