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I just realized something out of the blue this morning: babies BITE. Hard. If you've ever hung out with a nursing mother you know they bite all the time. Suetonius is just full of poo poo.
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Sep 9, 2014 03:24
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It's funny to read about Romans getting pedantic about 'proper Latin'. Here's something I just read in Ausonius:quote:On Those Who Say 'Reminisco', Which Is Not Latin Octy fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Sep 9, 2014 |
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Sep 9, 2014 03:36
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I seem to recall my wife having some sort of plastic nipple shield to prevent the worst damage.
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Sep 9, 2014 05:04
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Arglebargle III posted:I just realized something out of the blue this morning: babies BITE. Hard. If you've ever hung out with a nursing mother you know they bite all the time. I can't believe I'm actually trying to logically think this through in my head but here we go. . . 1) A nipple is extremely sensitive to pressure - seriously tweak your own nipple right now. You don't even need to hit it especially hard or be lactating or aroused or anything to get a flash of pain/pleasure there that you won't see applying a similar squeeze to your ear, nose, elbow, or even genitals. 2) A turgid penis is a lot stiffer and more resisting than your average nipple. You can actually squeeze one pretty loving hard without it getting painful. Even the head can take a lot more in the way of being smashed or squeezed than a nipple. These things are designed to be the penetrating prow of a mighty trireme, after all. 3) Babies don't have teeth. That's where most of the bad parts of biting during a blowjob happen. As long as skin isn't broken and they aren't dragged down the length like a loving rasp there's actually a time and place for nibbling in a good blowjob. "Nibbling" a nipple? Man, you better either be mostly just applying pressure with your lips or have some fine loving motor control over your jaw. 4) Finally: Purple nurples hurt like a motherfucker. Something similiar-ish doesn't have anything like the same affect when applied to a hard dick. In short, as the owner/operator of both a dick and a set of (admittedly male) nipples I'm not entirely sure that Suetonius is writing about impossibilities here. And now, having spent my morning coffee contemplating the logistics of blowjobs from infants, I'm going to go do anything else for the rest of the day and try to forget I ever sat down to think this through.
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Sep 9, 2014 15:02
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Welp.
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Sep 9, 2014 16:26
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lol
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Sep 9, 2014 16:27
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amazing
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Sep 9, 2014 16:56
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So...um...what was school like in Roman times This started as an attempt to urgently change the subject but now that I've written the question I'm actually a little curious about it. What kind of education system existed in the Roman Empire? Would I be wrong to assume that you had to be extremely wealthy/well-born to have access to it? Ainsley McTree fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Sep 9, 2014 |
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Sep 9, 2014 16:58
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Jesus Christ.
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Sep 9, 2014 17:01
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Hot drat.
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Sep 9, 2014 17:07
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You know we were all thinking about it anyway.
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Sep 9, 2014 17:09
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Sometimes I wonder was this forum worth  . Now I know.
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Sep 9, 2014 17:15
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Ainsley McTree posted:So...um...what was school like in Roman times Personal tutors - educated Greek slaves if you can get them. Mass schooling doesn't especially happen, though you might find an adult crowd who want to learn, say, rhetoric or mathematics or a school of philosophy from one particular teacher and follow him around to listen to his lectures. In terms of actual school years, our samples suggest tons of rote memorisation based on old literature or moralistic sayings. An alphabetic acrostic could be the starting place for you learning how to write, and the platitudes in the ones we have are fairly tedious, especially if you were a contemporary and not a historian desperate to learn things about an ancient civilisation. E: That was the most bizarre typo of philosophy I've ever seen. Sleep of Bronze fucked around with this message at 18:40 on Sep 9, 2014 |
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Sep 9, 2014 18:21
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Somethingawful indeed
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Sep 9, 2014 18:29
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Sleep of Bronze posted:Personal tutors - educated Greek slaves if you can get them. Mass schooling doesn't especially happen, though you might find an adult crowd who want to learn, say, rhetoric or mathematics or a school of philisiohy from one particular teacher and follow him around to listen to his lectures. In terms of actual school years, our samples suggest tons of rote memorisation based on old literature or moralistic sayings. An alphabetic acrostic could be the starting place for you learning how to write, and the platitudes in the ones we have are fairly tedious, especially if you were a contemporary and not a historian desperate to learn things about an ancient civilisation. Were there any programs in place for legionnaires or public servants? Something like "learn your letters" for the former, and "sharpen your skills" for the latter.
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Sep 9, 2014 18:29
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Roman education was also apparently terrible because of all the rote memorization, and hated. Private tutoring was the way to go.
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Sep 9, 2014 18:44
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e: you know what, I'll just go with welp And yeah, anyone who was anyone had a Greek slave tutor. I wonder what socialisation between upper class Roman children was like. Alchenar fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Sep 9, 2014 |
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Sep 9, 2014 18:50
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I vaguely remember the legions having small pay increases for literate soldiers (I think?). So the actual education was likely just getting a buddy to teach you, but it was incentivised.
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Sep 9, 2014 19:18
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Ask me about Roman/Greek/other ancient history: babies giving blowjobs to caesar
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Sep 9, 2014 19:32
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Cyrano4747 posted:I can't believe I'm actually trying to logically think this through in my head but here we go. . . all my fives to whoever bought him this avatar and text
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Sep 9, 2014 21:01
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BravestOfTheLamps posted:Roman education was also apparently terrible because of all the rote memorization, and hated. Private tutoring was the way to go. Yeah, didn't Marcus Aurelius write that one of the things he was most grateful for in life was that he didn't have to attend "public" school?
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Sep 9, 2014 23:18
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I was under the impression that if you were urban and free status there were at least rudimentary "grammar" schools children attended? Not really a formal public education system but fairly widespread and accessible for citizens? Or am I just totally misremembering things. Edit: like school teachers for children would just host them in their house and the parents would pay them for the service. Not state directed but socially common enough that you'd probably grow up to be able to read and write if you were from the cities or surrounding suburbs. Berke Negri fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 00:37
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Cyrano4747 posted:I can't believe I'm actually trying to logically think this through in my head but here we go. . . It's a little long for a topic title.
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Sep 10, 2014 01:34
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Cyrano4747 posted:I can't believe I'm actually trying to logically think this through in my head but here we go. . . 
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Sep 10, 2014 08:36
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Sep 10, 2014 09:12
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 We've reached peak Antiquity here
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Sep 10, 2014 09:13
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Sep 10, 2014 10:45
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Jonah and the jail.
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Sep 10, 2014 10:47
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask / Tell > Ancient History: contemplating the logistics of blowjobs from infants
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Sep 10, 2014 10:56
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There's a papyrus scroll at the San Fransisco de young museum showing children doing obscene things to adults under a royal banquet table. Ancients are weird.
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Sep 10, 2014 12:56
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Egyptian?
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Sep 10, 2014 12:59
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i love this thread so much
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Sep 10, 2014 13:45
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Strategic Tea posted:I vaguely remember the legions having small pay increases for literate soldiers (I think?). So the actual education was likely just getting a buddy to teach you, but it was incentivised. It wasn't a straight pay increase, but you couldn't be promoted to centurion if you were illiterate. You were stuck as a grunt forever. Berke Negri posted:I was under the impression that if you were urban and free status there were at least rudimentary "grammar" schools children attended? Not really a formal public education system but fairly widespread and accessible for citizens? Or am I just totally misremembering things. Yeah, this kind of schooling existed. I'm not sure we actually know many details of Roman schools themselves, but there was some form of generally available schooling in cities. People were expected to educate their children if they were able to do so. There were actual schools, not public but you paid tuition. There had to be some education available since urban Romans were generally literate.
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Sep 10, 2014 14:14
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Exioce posted:Egyptian? Yup. Had a photo on my old phone. It was next to a statue of a little dog loving a giant bitch so it could have been a collection of sex in the ancient world.
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Sep 10, 2014 22:38
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I vaguely recall something about educated men (slaves even?) showing up to Rome and just setting up schools? Maybe I'm conflating it with something else, but I think the basic idea was they just set up a little stall or took a room or something and then went around saying,"Hey I'm teaching classes if you want your kids to have something to do during the day" and then taught anybody who showed up?
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Sep 10, 2014 22:59
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LingcodKilla posted:Yup. Had a photo on my old phone. It was next to a statue of a little dog loving a giant bitch so it could have been a collection of sex in the ancient world. Arrested for loli.
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Sep 11, 2014 00:59
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Schooling was probably easier to come by in Rome than anywhere else in the world. As mentioned, a wealthy man would have a private tutor for his kids. As in he would literally have one: he'd buy one. When his kids were grown, now he had a slave whose utility was reduced. And now we run into a bit of mystery, in that it's unclear whether such slaves were chattel slaves, or essentially indentured servants who had reached the end of their contracts, but either way, alot of these slaves would end up being manumitted into the owner's client system if they weren't (or couldn't) be sold to another Roman who was in need of a tutor. They could go work as day laborers or something, but most of them probably did what they were most qualified to do, which was teach. An educated person could probably make a living wage between running a little school supplemented by private tutoring lessons for families that could pay something, yet weren't wealthy enough to keep a teacher on the house staff. Trickle down education.
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Sep 11, 2014 02:29
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physeter posted:Schooling was probably easier to come by in Rome than anywhere else in the world. As mentioned, a wealthy man would have a private tutor for his kids. As in he would literally have one: he'd buy one. When his kids were grown, now he had a slave whose utility was reduced. And now we run into a bit of mystery, in that it's unclear whether such slaves were chattel slaves, or essentially indentured servants who had reached the end of their contracts, but either way, alot of these slaves would end up being manumitted into the owner's client system if they weren't (or couldn't) be sold to another Roman who was in need of a tutor. They could go work as day laborers or something, but most of them probably did what they were most qualified to do, which was teach. An educated person could probably make a living wage between running a little school supplemented by private tutoring lessons for families that could pay something, yet weren't wealthy enough to keep a teacher on the house staff. Well, they famously got their teaching slaves from Greece, and many a wealthy Roman famously went to Greece for studies. So there must have been a good supply of teachers being churned out in Greece. From the classical Greek era, we know that educated people would take students for money; I seem to recall Socrates boasting (through Plato) that he never taught anyone for money, while Xenophon mentions offhand that Socrates took plenty of students for cash. Even further back, the situation in Sumer had private schools opened up by scribes for the purpose of churning out literate scribes for all the record-keeping the Sumerians liked to do. Mostly rote learning and formulaic letters, but we do know that those schools were more than happy to take bribes to pass less than enthusiastic students. I think Egypt mostly taught literacy through its giant temple complexes, but there's several thousand years of history there, so it probably differed from era to era.
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Sep 11, 2014 06:07
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