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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:Bet leader and I forgot to get my account name on the site updated for username change. Whoops! If you'd like, I can change your username for you on the site. Tunicate posted:Seems like something that would be handy as part of the macro. Unfortunately, there is no way for a macro to rename fighters for you in the arena. I've tried. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Sep 28, 2014 |
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Sep 28, 2014 22:17
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Jazzimus Prime posted:If you'd like, I can change your username for you on the site. That'd be great!
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Sep 29, 2014 00:12
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:That'd be great! Done! You'll need to log in again, your password has not been changed.
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Sep 29, 2014 01:32
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 Test Tournament 2, Round 3, Fight 2Today we will witness the stuff of legends. Maybe not, I haven’t run the fight yet. It’ll probably suck because I’m not in it. Purestrain Adamantium lines up to the left. Antastic the antwoman is on top, Yeti Chan the yeti next to her, ballbag the kobold and Lord Rand Paul the human fill the last two slots. Managers are Pun Pundit, atomicthumbs, fluppet, and Space Bat. I remember Lord Rand Paul from last fight I ran; it was him versus the world at the end. Will his useless teammates help him this time? Armok’s All-Stars line up on the right side of the arena. Gremoral Artery (finally realized the name basically says GREMlin in it) is a gremlin. Piston Mcquiston is a human, Mt. Molehill is a moleman, and Uz Eat Gladiators is the ugliest troll in the entire arena. I also remember Uz Eat Gladiators crushing a dude last fight. The size advantage is definitely in favor of the All-Stars, but size hasn’t counted for poo poo lately. Did I ever tell you how much I love player names that tell me the race? Helps a lot when writing these things.  My god trolls are slow. Run you ugly naked bastard! Piston Mcquiston the human on the right is far faster than his teammates and runs 2 steps into their staggered ranks, leaving his teammates behind. It’s a bold strategy, let’s see if it pays off.  Piston and Yeti are on the same tile to the right of the X here Piston Mcquiston swings at the antwoman Antastic and misses. ballbag sees the opening and stabs Piston Mcquiston in the left thigh, tearing muscles and sending the human to the floor. Yeti Chan daintily grabs the downed human by the middle finger for a second before releasing it unharmed. Is that the most damage Yeti Chan has inflicted the entire tournament? The rest of the All-Stars come into range and begin trading blows, missing and blocking for a moment.  Lord Rand Paul lunges forward and his sword stabs clean through Mt. Molehill’s chest, puncturing a lung in the process. The moleman doesn’t seemed phased by the sword in his chest. Meanwhile, Yeti Chan fondles Piston Mcquiston’s thigh.  Piston Mcquiston is not into bestiality and he lets Yeti Chan know by stabbing the huge fighter in the right calf muscle, which sends him to the ground. Piston Mcquiston and Yeti Chan are both on the ground on the same tile in this screenshot. The big yeti nearly falls on top of the small human who stabs him a second time in the upper arm, chipping bone and causing Yeti Chan to black out. ballbag sees his teammate in trouble and slashes Piston Mcquiston’s left foot to distract him.  At the same time in the lower part of the arena: Lord Rand Paul thrusts his giant sword at Uz Eat Gladiators who fails to parry. The sword cuts into the right arm, destroying the trolls elbow, opening arteries and slicing ligaments. Uz Eat Gladiators has lost use of his right arm entirely! The giant troll gets pissed at this development.  Antastic and Gremoral Artery duel to the northeast, dodging and blocking each others attacks. They are evenly matched and neither can get the upper hand. Lord Rand Paul casually takes the left paw off of Mt. Molehill since no one is watching him in the south of the arena. For the teams we have: Antastic at full strength, Yeti Chan down and unconscious, ballbag at full strength, and Lord Rand Paul at full strength. Gremoral Artery at full strength, Piston Mcquiston down but far from out, Mt. Molehill injured but pain-free, and Uz Eat Gladiators with one useless arm, enraged, and still holding his weapon in the other hand.  Piston Mcquiston proves he is not out of the fight by stabbing Yeti Chan in the head multiple times, but is unable to pierce the yeti’s skull. Apparently it’s ‘Gang Up On Piston Mcquiston’ day because Antastic gets her first blow against the downed human by slicing his arm open, which causes the downed human to drop his weapon and pass out. Antastic swings at his head, but ballbag the kobold is faster and slices off Piston Mcquiston’s head for the first kill of the match. Meanwhile Lord Rand Paul slices deep into Mt. Molehill’s right front foot which causes the moleman to fall to the floor.  Mt. Molehill has no one to help him against Lord Rand Paul. The deadly human chops the poor moleman’s head off. Gremoral Artery arrives in the mix with a scream and whips Yeti Chan so hard in the face that his entire head explodes. Gremoral Artery gets the third kill of the match.  Gremoral Artery moves to stand side by side with the large troll. Lord Rand Paul is south while Antastic and ballbag line up face to face with the other team. Team Status: Antastic 100%, ballbag 100%, Lord Rand Paul 100%. Yeti Chan 0%. Gremoral Artery 100%, Piston Mcquiston 0%, Mt. Molehill 0%, and Uz Eat Gladiators 75%  ballbag stabs Gremoral Artery in the right foot and then Uz Eat Gladiators charges into small gremlin and sends him sprawling! Antastic sees that the large troll is occupied and slashes his left arm, breaking the bones and forcing Uz Eat Gladiators to drop his maul. ballbag slashes the huge troll in the left leg, chipping the bone and sending him to the floor. And then Lord Rand Paul charges into the fray. A foot goes flying to his huge sword, Antastic and ballbag both get another stab in before Lord Rand Paul splits his head open. Gremoral Artery the tiny gremlin is all alone on the left side of the arena.  Lord Rand Paul slices and dices while ballbag and Antastic stab. The left leg goes flying to Lord Rand Paul, Gremoral Artery gets stabbed twice, then Lord Rand Paul takes another swing and takes the other leg. What a brutally efficient gladiator. God drat.  Gremoral Artery failed to function with both femoral arteries severed and bled to death a second later. Get it? Gremoral; femoral? This is the funniest I get. sorry Purestrain Adamantium wins easily in spite of having Yeti Chan on their team. 4-1 victory, Lord Rand Paul cutting his way to three kills while ballbag grabs one. Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 15:45
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We won a match? And Antastic contributed? This is pretty great! Unfortunately, even if Two and a Half men lose 0-4 to Modern Family, they've got us beat on kills already. pun pundit fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 16:12
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Yeti Chan is helping as much as it can.
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Sep 29, 2014 16:16
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pun pundit posted:We won a match? And Antastic contributed? This is pretty great! I dont really touch on it in the writeup, but Antastic and Gremoral were dueling up top for a long time while all the fun stuff was happening in the center. If Antastic hadn't kept Gremoral busy until two fighters were down, I am unsure if the fight would have gone that smoothly. Gremoral would be deadly in a melee, he just got screwed by dodging away from the melee and then got stonewalled with 1v1 and an antwoman of comparable skill. VVV Yeah, when the fighters were down a lot of stabbing happened by ballbag and Antastic. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 16:46 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 16:17
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Yeah. I read the combat log, it seems there was a lot of limb crippling toward the end of the fight. But then everyone contributed to that.
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Sep 29, 2014 16:27
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pun pundit posted:We won a match? And Antastic contributed? This is pretty great! Yes, it appears you're correct. The first tiebreaker is head-to-head record, so if Two and Two Half Men lose 0-4, that means Two and Two Half Men, Purestrain Adamantium, and Armok's All Stars would all have gone 1-1 against each other. So it goes to the second tiebreaker. The second tiebreaker is net PF minus PA (i.e. kills inflicted minus kills taken). Even with a 4-0 loss, Two and Two Half Men would have a net of -2 in the worst case scenario, compared to -3 for Purestrain Adamantium and -4 for Armok's All Stars. What all of this means is that Modern Family and Two and Two Half Men are both mathematically guaranteed to advance from the Boatmurdered division. Their match later this round will determine which gets the 1st place seed and which gets the 2nd place seed. Oh, and by the way, in case it ever comes down to a 3rd tiebreaker, the site will automatically generate a Battle Royale match to break the tie. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 20:13
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Spermy Smurf posted:Gremoral Artery arrives in the mix with a scream and whips Yeti Chan so hard in the face that his entire head explodes.
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Sep 29, 2014 20:19
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pre:Yeti Chan_PA grabs Piston Mcquiston_AAS by the second finger, left hand with his right upper arm! The Yeti Chan_PA releases the grip of The Yeti Chan_PA's right upper arm from The Piston Mcquiston_AAS's second finger, left hand. Yeti Chan_PA grabs Piston Mcquiston_AAS by the cow leather high boot with his right upper arm! Piston Mcquiston_AAS stabs Yeti Chan_PA in the right lower leg with his bronze spear, tearing the muscle through the large cow leather leggings! The Yeti Chan_PA falls over. Yeti Chan_PA punches Piston Mcquiston_AAS in the left lower arm with his right hand, bruising the fat! edit:  
atomicthumbs fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 20:22
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Mlle posted:Good lord. Gremlins aren't even the size of a yeti's head. Do note that Yeti Chan was stabbed and bashed in the head several times, and that his skull resembled a broken eggshell by the time that gremlin got to him. It was the straw that exploded the Yeti's head, as they say.
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Sep 29, 2014 20:28
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All of the skills and equipment of the fighters from the previous test tournament have been made public. If you can log onto the site, you can view any of those fighters and download their macros.
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Sep 29, 2014 21:33
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MY SECRETS 
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Sep 29, 2014 21:41
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Bad Munki posted:MY SECRETS Don't worry, Knuckle Dragger is literally impossible to recreate now that slade armor is not allowed in the Arena. 
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Sep 29, 2014 21:42
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my dad posted:slade armor is not allowed in the Arena. Stop trying to protect me from myself!
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Sep 29, 2014 21:47
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Also, the web hosting service is currently upgrading the site software (database, PHP, httpd, etc.) so the site might intermittently be unavailable for the next half hour or so. edit: And we're back up and running again, Apache 2.2.29, PHP 5.4.33, MySQL 5.5.37, yada yada yada and all that. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 21:58
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Jazzimus Prime posted:
Didn't you say you were waiting for SQL 5.5.36 to do the Mystery Box update? Now you can!
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Sep 30, 2014 00:20
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Jazzimus Prime posted:What all of this means is that Modern Family and Two and Two Half Men are both mathematically guaranteed to advance from the Boatmurdered division.
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Sep 30, 2014 02:23
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Aww, my team always gets a great start in the first match and then proceeds to mathematically disqualify themselves. Granted, the whole not giving my fighter and real skills of weapons might have had apart in that.
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Sep 30, 2014 04:02
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Armok's All-Stars didn't do that well, but that head-exploding move makes up for everything. Definitely should have sprung for armour.
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Sep 30, 2014 05:07
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Spermy Smurf posted:Didn't you say you were waiting for SQL 5.5.36 to do the Mystery Box update? Uh, no, I said I was waiting for SQL 5.5.36 to do the update where you can float your mouse over the combat log on the View Schedule page, and see which commissioner ran that fight. And this feature is in there now, as promised.
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Sep 30, 2014 05:41
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Test Tournament 2, Round 3, Match 3 Here we have a battle of underachievers! Whether it be bad luck or bad strategy these two teams have lost both of their matches thus far. Which team will win the coveted title of "At least I won one match"? Let's find out. On the left, The Committee to Elect, featuring from top to bottom: Senator Hornstrong the Minotaur managed by Ramc, Senator Armstrong the Human managed by Galick, useless halfwit the Kobold managed by Coward and Kamicatze the Tiger Man managed by Mygna. On the right, Ugly Stick, featuring from top to bottom: John Fartbutt the Yeti managed by Gangsta Boogie, Vincent van Gob the Goblin managed by Afriscipio, Chad the Tiger Man managed by captaindirtnap and Tiger Uppercut the Tiger Man managed by synthorange.  Let's begin! The fight begins as all with an archer do with an arrow flying across the arena. This time useless halfwit's arrow narrowly misses Vincent van Gob and breaks upon the far wall. Vincent van Gob responds to this slight against him by immediately sinking his axe into Senator Hornstrong's chest deep enough to badly bruise a lung.    Moments later Chad stabs Kamicatze in the chest with his pike. The stab is powerful and Kamicatze's heart is torn by the blow. Somehow Kamicatze is still standing!  Vincent van Gob continues his assault against Senator Hornstrong by first cutting into the Minotaur's leg, causing him to hit the ground, and then hacking off his right arm! As if that wasn't enough, John Fartbutt obliterate's Senator Hornstrong's left arm with the Yeti's maul. Meanwhile Kamicatze, who had just been stabbed in the heart, finds the strength to break Chad's left arm.   After a few misses and lesser attacks by both sides, Chad stabs Kamicatze in the chest again, this time shattering ribs. Kamicatze can no longer take the abuse and gives in to pain.  useless halfwit lets loose another arrow! Vincent van Gob cuts off what little remains of Senator Hornstrong's right arm. This is followed by John Fartbutt sneaking in and crushing Senator Hornstrong's skull for the first kill of the match! Immediately afterwards useless halfwit's arrow finds its way into John Fartbutt's leg, bringing the great beast to the ground.    *Current team stats* The Committee to Elect: One dead, one badly wounded and unconscious, one nearly perfect health and one healthy archer. Ugly Stick: One grounded, one with a broken arm, two nearly perfect health. After some failed charges (including one where Tiger Uppercut collides with Chad, whoops!) John Fartbutt successfully bashes Senator Armstrong hard enough that it badly bruises the Senator's liver! Senator Armstrong retaliates with a gut-punch to the Yeti. Vincent van Gob, growing frustrated at not being able to best Senator Armstrong's defenses, casually walks over to Kamicatze's prone form and cuts off his head.   Now Senator Armstrong leads those standing on team Ugly Stick on a merry chase! The Senator is faster than the rest of them and manages to avoid damage long enough for useless halfwit to shoot another arrow! This time the arrow breaks Chad's tooth and lodges in the wound, causing a funny mental image and some amount of pain.   The merry chase continues unabated with Senator Armstrong dodging every blow thrown his way, or else suffering minor bruises. This goes on long enough for useless halfwit to get yet another shot off. This time the Kobold's arrow chips bone in John Fartbutt's leg, causing the already prone Yeti to also black out from pain. Will this tactic be enough for The Committee to Elect to turn the fight around?   Now I noticed something a little odd, in the amount of time spent chasing Senator Armstrong apparently his liver had healed itself slightly? If you remember his liver earlier you'll notice it was in red text. This means that the liver was "broken" in the sense that it was badly damaged and not even really intact. Now his liver is in light blue text which means that it isn't functioning properly but is otherwise mostly intact. I guess this helps explain why our gladiators are able to come back and fight so soon after being "killed" and otherwise badly wounded!   *Here I've included a handy legend in case people were having trouble understanding just how wounded the gladiators get. While continuing the chase Senator Armstrong happens to get a solid punch in and breaks Chad's right hand. This causes Chad to double over in pain and cease the chase! useless halfwit also gets another shot in! Unfortunately he wastes it on the already unconscious John Fartbutt. All the dodging and running is beginning to take its toll on Senator Armstrong's body. He stops for just a moment to catch his breath when instead he catches Vincent van Gob's battle axe in the chest! This damages Senator Armstrong's ribs and causes enough pain that he blacks out!   *Current team stats* The Committee to Elect: Two dead, one wounded and unconscious and one healthy archer. Ugly Stick: Two wounded and unconscious, two nearly perfect health. What follows is a lot of failed attempts at cutting through Senator Armstrong's helmet. Tiger Uppercut is much more successful at bending and breaking several of Senator Armstrong's limbs and joints. The Senator wakes up once in the middle of his torment and, after seeing what is happening to his body, immediately passes out from pain again. In the end it is actually Tiger Uppercut with a powerful downward punch that explodes Senator Armstrong's head through his helmet! Meanwhile useless halfwit has been shooting more arrows into John Fartbutt's prone body instead of at his conscious foes.   *Notice again how a wound has already healed up to the next better tier of wound, in this case John Fartbutt's stomach. useless halfwit is all alone, again. This is seeming all too familiar now, the Kobold will gracefully dodge around firing arrows at his enemies point blank hoping to hit something critical. Unfortunately this time the dance never even begins. Vincent van Gob hacks useless halfwit's left arm, causing the Kobold to drop his bow and become nearly defenseless. Chad wakes up, removes the arrow from his mouth and looks around. Seeing his teammates are about to end the fight he gives a thumbs up and a broken smile in their direction. A bludgeoning blow from Tiger Uppercut using a mail shirt(?!) followed by a few quick axe swings and useless halfwit is no more.   Score: Ugly Stick - 4, The Committee to Elect - 0 Kills: John Fartbutt - 1, Vincent van Gob - 2, Tiger Uppercut - 1 Combat Log Lessons learned: Another problem with archers is them having a tough time finishing off downed opponents on their own. A single fighter can distract the entire enemy team long enough for an archer to get several shots in.
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Sep 30, 2014 05:50
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 Armstrong is basically invincible for a while and then the entire rest of the team explodes, and then they gang up on him and slowly tear him to pieces.
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Sep 30, 2014 06:01
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Well, he certainly lived up to his name.
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Sep 30, 2014 06:06
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Hahahah Tiger Uppercut collides with Chad not just once, but twice, then plays grabby grabby with Armstrong til he (accidentally?) kills him. Wrestling as a skill does seem to make my fighter ridiculously preoccupied with grabbing and letting stuff go.
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Sep 30, 2014 06:15
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SynthOrange posted:Wrestling as a skill does seem to make my fighter ridiculously preoccupied with grabbing and letting stuff go. ...that's probably why my yeti is a shitti. 
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Sep 30, 2014 06:29
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On the other hand, there were some spectacular moves like breaking most of Armstrong's limbs. The downside was that this was only accomplished against an unconscious fighter.
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Sep 30, 2014 07:15
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Test Tournament 2, Week 3, Fight 4 On the left: We're all Friends Here! Their lineup is Spoggerific's A Heart of Steel the dwarf, Frozen_Flame's Brother Boccob the dwarf, Maugrim's Rambold the kobold and Anta's Uselessly long cumbersome name the goblin. On the right: Habeas Corpses give us VladTheEater's Bring the Pain the molemarian, Ablative's The Obituator the Soldier Antwoman, A good poster's Yettie Page the Yeti and goatface's Gavin Henson the Dark Gnome. Both teams have been mathematically eliminated from advancement, but I tend to think that that's more a reflection of how powerful their foes have been more than incompetence on their part (with one mild exception), so they should give us an excellent match regardless. Tonight we'll get to see a last exhibition, give one of these teams a well-deserved victory, and settle 2,997 dwarfbucks worth of bets.  Brother Boccob, as we all well know, is a crossbow fighter, and his bronze bolt is the first attack of the match.  The Obituator ducks it, however. As expected, that's his one shot before battle is joined in earnest. A quick first flurry is ineffective. The Obituator lands first blood, hacking apart Rambold's arm muscles. Crippled, he drops his adamantine weapon. The kobold now has nothing but his wooden shield to fight with. Yettie Page smacks Uselessly long cumbersome name in the gut. He manages to keep nasuea in check, at least.  A counter-attack begins. A Heart of Steel replies with merely a bruise to Bring the Pain's foot. That won't get them anywhere. Uselessly is far more effective, with his spear attack tearing open the flesh of his yeti foe's foot. Yettie Page falls over. He then deflects her counter-blow and delicately bruises her eye. Meanwhile, Bring the Pain breaks A Heart of Steel's neck, but even with that, the perennial punchingbag stays together somehow, kicking th same foot he'd already bruised, and bruising it further. That is... not his most effective possible attack. The Obituator continues mincing Rambold. A foot flies off. Brother Boccob fires! These guys are not alone on the front line. The bronze bolt hits Bring the Pain squarely in the gut... and rebounds! Iron mail negates almost all of the force, and the molemarian keeps at the dwarf, breaking his arm. Rambold and A Heart of Steel are being savaged by their foes. Uselessly, on the other hand, is winning handily. A leg stab to the yeti's unwounded leg, and she falls down. Two more stabs, and he's worked his way through the skull to the brain. First kill, and the melee situation is suddenly a lot more even.  The Obituator chops at Rambold's other hand. His shield slides to the floor. Both of his arms are utterly useless. He faints. Gavin Henson stabs his guts. Nasuea wracks him. The Obituator does the same. Rambold dies.  And, as The Obituator was facing that direction, Uselessly snuck up behind him. One of the ant's many hands is cut off. Rambold's foot finally comes down. The Obituator pivots smoothly and chops off Uselessly's leg. He falls over. A Heart of Steel continues smacking Bring the Pain's feet. He breaks bone, at last, but the quadruped is still standing. Uselessly, from the ground, stabs desperately at the antwoman. He chops off another hand! He's lost his Russian roulette, though; he missed The Obituator's weapon hands.  Brother Boccob fires. He whiffs, never passing over an enemy tile. Uselessly long cumbersome name strikes again at The Obituator, stabbing through her leg and she falls over. Despite Uselessly's lost leg, he seems to be the more skilled combatant. Too, A Heart of Steel has finally found his rhythm, blocking or dodging strikes from Gavin and Bring the Pain and breaking two more of the molemarian's bones. This is with a broken arm and spine. What he could do if uninjured hardly bears thinking about. Again and again, Uselessly stabs The Obituator the antwoman at zero range, his steel spear ripping her apart.  They are all over the arena. Bits of them, at least. A Heart of Steel finally hits Gavin squarely, and the gnome falls over. He won't be standing again with the femur cracked in twain like that. Finally, Uselessly long cumbersome name's butchery is too much for The Obituator. She bleeds out. She kept herself together to the very last, however, not giving in to pain. Her final gift is the goblin's relative distance from his companions... and lack of leg. Uselessly might not be able to rejoin his team quickly. If A Heart of Steel falls, the other Habeas Corpses might strike down Brother Boccob before turning their attention to the goblin.  Bring the Pain breaks another bone on A Heart of Steel. A Heart seems like he might be able to fight either foe, but not both.   Brother Boccob fires, but... Gavin jumps aside from A Heart of Steel's attack. The bolt breaks on the floor. A Heart turns back to Bring the Pain. They exchange broken bones, a bad trade for the dwarf but a usually excellent one for the molemarian... except this one turns out to have been one too many broken legs, and the mole falls over! By whip and hammer, more bones snap like kindling. A Heart of Steel has won enough time for Uselessly to drag himself over. The goblin stabs the molemarian through the arm. A Heart ducks in to smash the other arm. Bring the Pain drops his whip. Uselessly, in the heat of the moment, bites down on the arm wound he's inflicted, tearing through clear to suddenly-exposed bone.  Bring the Pain's injuries are... extensive. Brother Boccob, not to be forgotten, fires again. Gavin casually blocks the shot with his shield. Thanks for trying, though, buddy. A Heart of Steel and Uselessly long cumbersome name keep at Bring the Pain. Even Brother Boccob joins in on the 'fun'.  WHY ARE YOU NOT DEAD. Bring the Pain's hellish, preposterous endurance keeps him alive long enough for Gavin to put a dagger in A Heart of Steel's foot, long enough for further exchanges of blows. Gavin finally slides his dagger into Uselessly's left arm, shredding muscle. The goblin loses his steel spear, the only weapon so far to strike down any of the Habeas Corpses. Finally, finally, Bring the Pain collapses... from exhaustion. He's stretched himself beyond what his body can take to keep in the fight. A Heart of Steel hammers away on the unfeeling skull once, twice. A third time. Finally the juggernaut dies. While he was doing that, though, Gavin had a chance to rip up Uselessly in turn. That's both legs chopped off at their base. Uselessly long cumbersome name bleeds to death before A Heart of Steel can limp over.  We're All Friends Here: Two dead, one dwarf with a broken spine/leg/arm, one marksdwarf with 13 bolts Habeas Corpses: Three dead, one gnome with a broken leg Brother Boccob shoots again. Gavin sidesteps. A Heart of Steel engages him in close combat, indecisively. Brother Boccob fires again, hitting only buckler. Finally, A Heart of Steel hits Gavin in the leg. Tiny tibia cracks. Overcome with pain, the gnome surrenders to oblivion. A Heart of Steel finishes the job, smearing gnome skull and brain like a melon.  Note the blood off in the water to the west/left. This is from Uselessly long's severed right leg, which flew into the drink when I was looking elsewhere.  And this is how close A Heart of Steel came to his own death. We're All Friends Here wins a knock-down, drag-out 4-2 victory against a truly implacable foe. Kills: Uselessly long cumbersome name - 2, A Heart of Steel - 2, The Obituator - 1, Gavin Henson - 1 Combat log
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Sep 30, 2014 08:04
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"At least I won one match."
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Sep 30, 2014 08:53
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I'm still trying to analyze Uppercut's moves.quote:[Ugly]Tiger Uppercut grabs [Elect]Senator Armstrong by the iron mail shirt with his left hand! It seems that DF doesnt respect distances in wrestling, only'is the gripper free?'.
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Sep 30, 2014 09:43
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It feels like these fights are getting more and more intense. That was brutal.
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Sep 30, 2014 10:17
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Increasing the price on striking for big guys because they don't need to buy a weapon might not be entirely necessary- While a high weapon skill lets you parry basically having an extra defense, does striking offer the same sort of benefit? If not it is kind of a rough trade as evidenced by Hornstrong's punching bag status.
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Sep 30, 2014 11:11
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Holy poo poo, Gavin not only did something useful, he actually used his buckler.
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Sep 30, 2014 13:07
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Well poo poo. I was going to say that going all-in on weapon skill at the cost of defence doesn't seem to work against smaller foes who can get equivalent weapon skill without sacrificing defence, but Chad is a pike wielding tigerman as well, and he parried nearly all of my guys attacks while handily landing several decisive blows, so 
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Sep 30, 2014 13:43
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Mygna posted:Well poo poo. I was going to say that going all-in on weapon skill at the cost of defence doesn't seem to work against smaller foes who can get equivalent weapon skill without sacrificing defence, but Chad is a pike wielding tigerman as well, and he parried nearly all of my guys attacks while handily landing several decisive blows, so I think we can keep saying that it doesn't work against smaller foes. I really think this just came down to  in this case.It would be interesting if this just came down to Iron Pike VS Bronze Pike, and the weight difference that entails. I doubt it, but it would be pretty cool if a lighter weapon was better able to parry attacks.
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Sep 30, 2014 14:37
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Well done team for winning in spite of Rambold's pathetic showing. I swear I don't set out to build my fighters badly, but I've never had one be remotely effective in any official fight, ever.
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Sep 30, 2014 18:29
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Sometimes, it's just bad luck. Remember how brutally Platinum Helms dismembered the team that eventually won he previous tournament? e: drat, I can't wait for our fight. Highest sum of bets in the tournament so far.
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Sep 30, 2014 18:31
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my dad posted:e: drat, I can't wait for our fight. Highest sum of bets in the tournament so far. Holy poo poo you weren't kidding.  New update will be posted relatively soon. Maybe an hour or so.
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Sep 30, 2014 20:19
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| # ? May 28, 2024 06:43 |
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Test Tournament Round 2, Fight 5 maybe? Today we witness two teams with everything on the line. The winner advances to playoffs, the loser can go gently caress themselves. This fight will be talked about for ages, maybe even immortalized in stone. All I know is there will be blood and a lot of it. Maybe they’ll sign a peace treaty; I honestly don’t understand the mechanics of this game very well but it sounds like that’s possible. Menacing Lack of Spikes is on the left. EmbodiedPrincipleOfPerfection, known as EPOP is an antchick managed by ZeeToo. Tomoe Gozen is a human managed by Tarezax, Atom is a gremlin managed by Supradog, and Caffeinequaffer is managed by Podima. Hey, I remember you guys! I ran your last fight. Better luck this time. Throwbacks are on the right. Skate is a yeti managed by Silverminnow, The Beast is a deceptively named human by Astus, Lionheart Jack is a human by Jack The Lad, and Taardvark is a moleman by Ninjavitis. Based on names alone, I want Throwbacks to win. Taardvark     The fighters line up, and Caffeinequaffer fires a bronze bolt at the charging fighters. It passes harmlessly through the air and is not even mentioned in the gamelog. He’ll have to do better than if he wants his teammates not to be overrun!  First blood is technically awarded to EPOP who stabs Skate right in the kidney with her spear. The first wound of the match, however, goes to Skate who smashes Tomoe Gozen in the right shin which chips bone and sends the smaller human to the floor. A kidney for a downed human? Is that a fair trade? Only Skate knows. The fighters dodge around for a bit, no one landing a blow. Skate stands above the downed Tomoe Gozen and raises his hammer. The human kicks and screams like many of us would when an 8 foot tall yeti is about to swing a hammer down on you. Luck is on Tomoe Gozens side; one of her kicks shatters the huge yeti’s toe!  Guess what happens? The god drat huge loving yeti who just took a spear to the kidney without flinching passes out from the pain from his toe. Skate is down, unconscious, and also a complete pussy. The Beast sees the horrible damage done to his teammate and takes Tomoe Gozen’s foot off with a swing from his huge sword in retaliation.  Atom begins working on the downed yeti’s skull, EPOP lends a helpful spear to the cause. Sadly, neither can penetrate the thick skull. The Beast swings a second time at Tomoe Gozen and lands a solid blow to her chest which tears into his lung. Tomoe Gozen passes out from the pain immediately. Taardvark stabs Tomoe Gozen in the arm for fun it appears. I’d personally aim for the head of an unmoving opponent, but I’m not a moleman. Another bolt flies toward the melee from Caffeinequaffer. Holy poo poo he hit something. Oh, he hit the huge pussy, Skate the yeti. It wasn’t a moving target, that explains Caffeinequaffers sudden marksmanship skill.  The fighters do not move for a bit, just stand there because each team has a fighter unconscious on the same tile that they can swing at. Atom continues to pulp Skates head, but the Yeti is still clinging to life. Taardvark must have heard me screaming at the monitor because his next strike pierces Tomoe Gozens skull, killing her. Team stats: Menacing Lack of Spikes has Atom and EPOP at full strength in the melee (ant and gremlin). Caffeinequaffer is at full strength on the left side of the arena reloading his crossbow. Tomoe Gozen just got killed. Throwbacks: Skate the yeti is nearly dead, the other 3 fighters are in the melee at full strength.  EPOP quickly stabs The Beast in the foot, sending him to the ground. The Beast retaliates on his way to the ground, cutting one of the antwomans arms deeply. EPOP is forced to drop a spear from the numb hand. EPOP is forced back a step when Taardvark bashes his shield. Atom needs to finish off the yeti and help his teammate, but the thick yeti skull will not yield to his tiny whip. EPOP is now facing 3 opponents by herself, one of which is down with a foot injury.  EPOP is leading a merry chase. A quick stab hits Taardvark in the arm, causing the moleman to drop his shield. Another dodge causes Lionheart Jack to smash into his moley teammate with a badly judged charge. EPOP defends, moving south so that all fighters are on two tiles. Except Atom and Skate. Atom fractures the yeti’s skull even more with a few more whips. Can EPOP hold out long enough for Atom to join the fray?  EPOP dodges away when he hears the twang of Caffeinequaffer’s crossbow. The bolt lands with devastating effect! Well, it would be devastating if the yeti was still standing. As it is, it just sort of thunks into Skate’s liver and doesn’t do anything. Hey, crossbow dude, try shooting at the enemies with swords trying to chop up your teammate.  EPOP dodges north again to be closer to The Beast who is down with a foot injury. A quick stab to the chest punctures the human’s lung. The Beast passes out from pain. Lionheart Jack who up to this point has been largely ineffective (other than deflecting a few blows) shakes off the cobwebs from his ill-timed charge into his teammate Taardvark and moves to engage. Atom continues lashing uselessly at the useless Skate. Skate being down is proving to be beneficial to the team honestly. It’s 3v2 right now basically, with an archer on the winning team. However Atom will not move to help EPOP because there is a freakin yeti just lying there and he really wants to smash that skull open. Taardvark and Lionheart Jack are moving against EPOP so Atom needs to help quickly or EPOP needs to continue what she’s doing and dodge and maim the opponents.   Taardvark and Lionheart Jack split up and attack EPOP from both sides. EPOP blocks some attacks, then lunges toward Lionheart Jack and bites the human in the teeth. Teeth fly across the arena floor and a split-second later Atom finally kills the downed Yeti. That took 11 lashes with his whip to do it. 11. Are we placing bets on Atom moving to the downed human The Beast and swinging at that one’s skull for another 5 minutes? The very next line of combat that I read: Atom lashes The Beast in the head with his iron whip, bruising the muscle, fracturing the skull! EPOP forces Lionheart Jack to dodge back, then wheels and lunges at Taardvark who blocks. Another bolt flies across the arena… and into the prone form of The Beast. EPOP gets sick of Atom and Caffeinequaffer attacking downed opponents so she stabs The Beast in the head but fails to kill him. She is forced to defend against renewed attacks by Taardvark. EPOP dodges south-east and is two tiles away from the melee. Will Atom be forced to do something other than poke dead people?  Yes! Atom is forced to dodge Taardvark which brings him back into the fight and away from The Beast’s nearly-dead body. Well, I guess it’s not good news for Atom who is clearly outgunned. Taardvark stabs the tiny gremlin in the hand and then charges into him, sending him to the floor. Teeth are landing everywhere. EPOP stabs Lionheart Jack in the stomach but fails to penetrate his armor. Lionheart Jack escapes with a bruised spine.  Lionheart Jack and EPOP duel on the right while Taardvark and Atom duel on the left. Caffeinequaffer is just hanging out by himself. Lionheart Jack strikes the antwoman in the arm, forcing her to drop her shield!  Caffeinequaffer fires an arrow at Taardvark and misses because Taardvark charged forward and stunned the gremlin with a hard collision!  Atom loses a leg immediately after standing up, while EPOP cannot penetrate Lionheart Jack’s impressive armor.  Taardvark stabs twice in rapid succession, removing Atom’s left arm and then cutting deep into his right hand. Taardvark is already moving toward the other fight (two tiles away) when Atom bleeds to death. It’s like he didn’t even care to finish him off.  EPOP draws the enemies to herself, defending and attacking with impressive abilities. Lionheart Jack lands a well-placed strike and cripples the antwomans leg. EPOP is down, but manages to roll away from the next attack. Caffeinequaffer sends another arrow at The Beast because moving targets are too hard. Lionheart Jack begins smashing the antwoman to pieces, beginning with an arm and forcing her to drop the other spear.  EPOP cannot dodge fast enough and a few well placed blows by Lionheart Jack and Taardvark cause the antwoman to pass out. Taardvark takes the kill and the remaining two fighters for Throwbacks look across the arena at Caffeinequaffer who is hastily reloading.  Caffeinequaffers arrow misses the charging fighters. Lionheart Jack works on the right hand, fracturing bones and causing the dwarf to drop his bolts. Taardvark stabs the right arm, chipping bone, and causes the dwarf to fall down unconscious.  Taardvark takes this kill as well. Throwbacks win this with a hard-fought 4-1 victory. Taardvark gets all four kills.   Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Sep 30, 2014 |
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Sep 30, 2014 21:06
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