|
Betting everything on my team hasn't let me down yet, so I will keep up the tradition.
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2014 04:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 28, 2024 09:26 |
|
|
Charity of The Kitten Appreciation Society, managed by Tunicate, appears to be the only fighter we're waiting on in order to start the playoffs. Incidentally, Tunicate's fighter in the previous tournament was named Love. And as we all know, there's no better way to advance the gimmick of personifying the greatest of virtues as enumerated by St. Paul than by slaughtering even more enemies in the arena! So get to spending your points on your fighter, Tunicate! 
|
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2014 05:29
|
|
|
Sorry, I'll have them up in a bit. EDIT: Okay, up. I don't really understand how DF body plans work, but I suspect (hope) that 90% of a molemarian counts as its 'lower body'. 
Tunicate fucked around with this message at 09:30 on Oct 4, 2014 |
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2014 09:09
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww3GTNv9hHk&t=23s
|
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2014 01:52
|
|
|
Slade Gauntlets seem to be the proud underdogs of this round, if the bets mean anything.
|
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2014 17:30
|
|
|
my dad posted:Slade Gauntlets seem to be the proud underdogs of this round, if the bets mean anything. Only because impy had 8k to put down on his own team while your team is a bit poorer.
|
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2014 23:47
|
|
|
Khisanth Magus posted:Only because impy had 8k to put down on his own team while your team is a bit poorer. Whoa there, buddy, check your privilege. Not everyone can afford adamantine toilet paper and a burial that doesn't involve the magma sea.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 00:43
|
|
|
When I win it big I am going to make it rain on my teammates.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 02:32
|
|
|
So uh, what are we waiting on exactly?
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 09:32
|
|
|
Khisanth Magus posted:Only because impy had 8k to put down on his own team while your team is a bit poorer. All in, all the time. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 09:35
|
|
|
SynthOrange posted:So uh, what are we waiting on exactly? The commissioners to not be busy / notice that the playoff round is now open. Good news: I should have more time to run fights in the very near future!
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 12:04
|
|
|
SynthOrange posted:So uh, what are we waiting on exactly? I'm on it right now. Starting writeup of whatever match is on top of the list.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 12:45
|
|
|
 Test Tournament, Playoff Round 1, Fight 1Today we’re going to see a playoff match between Throwbacks and Team Legs. Teams legs went undefeated in their division (  ) with a 12-2 kill-death ratio. Incredible. Throwbacks went 2-1 and had a still impressive 9-7 kill-death ratio. Throwbacks are on the left. First up is my old friend Skate, a On the right we have Team Legs. Stinky Skinky, a serpent with no dangly bits by Zaltys, I Feel Asleep a serpent with dangly bits by That Mattybee, Altoid the dwarf by Ghostwoods and Don’t Hurt Me the strangler by Khisanth Magus. I’ve never run a fight for these guys, but they beat my team so they can’t be pushovers.  They meet in a line, with Skate the yeti moving a half step behind.  First blood is not blood at all, but is likely going to be devastating nonetheless. Altoid the dwarf charges into the fray leading with his fist. The Beast runs straight into it, knocking himself unconscious. I am looking at the fighters skills and whatnot right now and this is just one of those things I guess. Really weird, but The Beast has done this in every match hasn’t he? His build is fine, just lovely luck.  In another devastating blow to the Throwbacks, Don’t Hurt Me the strangler swings his glowing blue pick into Lionheart Jack’s lower right leg. The leg is cut off just below the knee! The poor human falls over next to his unconscious teammate The Beast. At the same time I Feel Asleep swings and connects with Skate the yeti’s left lower leg with his steel pick, which (of course) sends the yeti to the floor. Ah, Skate is finally home. Team stats: Throwbacks: Completely boned. It's only been 15 seconds and they have 3 fighters down (1 unconscious) and 1 moleman at full strength. Team Legs: Plenty of time to go have a few beers, then come back and finish the job later.  Taardvark to the rescue! He stands above his unconscious teammate The Beast and stabs Don’t Hurt Me in the foot, sending the strangler to the floor. Skate continues to block, parry, and be a nuisance from the ground but he is against 3 opponents. Throwbacks are doing exactly what they need to do to come back: Keep the enemy away from The Beast and hope he wakes up soon. Altoid takes advantage of the 3v1 against the downed yeti and breaks Skates leg. Skate does something amazing here, it’s baffling: He does not pass out from pain and instead keeps fighting!  Don’t Hurt me and Lionheart Jack duel from the arena floor, with Lionheart the human losing his other foot to the glowing blue pick.  Don’t Hurt Me proves deadly from the floor and chops off Lionheart Jack’s head. At least we’ll get to see how far it flies... At the same time I Feel Asleep sends his pick into Skates chest, and the huge yeti uses his trademark move and passes out. This is not been a good match for the Throwbacks. Taardvark stands alone above The Beast. The moleman is the only member of his team still alive and awake. I haven’t mentioned Stinky Skinky’s name yet, but he’s been dueling the downed yeti, parrying blows, getting some small hits in that aren’t really doing much damage.  Good news everyone! Lionheart Jacks leg finally landed. Now we await his head... Here we go, time for Stinky Skinky to shine! A devastating lash to Taardvarks arm forces him to drop his shield. The moleman is now shieldless. 20 steps in the fight later I Feel Asleep finally manages something against the downed Skate. Altoid and I Feel Asleep have been hammering the poor bastard for a while, with I Feel Asleep finally cutting his stomach open and spilling yeti guts all over the arena floor. Still no sign of Lionheart Jacks head. And since I don’t know how to go up and down z-levels, we’ll just have to keep waiting.  Look what I found! Nothing else happens for 10 more steps forward in the fight. A dodge, the yeti gets his pancreas cut apart, a blocked spear thrust...  Now things start to heat up! Don’t Hurt Me, the grounded strangler, crawls toward the Moleman. He calmly swings his pick into The Beast’s unconscious skull. The Beast is dead. I Feel Asleep is credited with the kill for the downed yeti, Skate. Skate bleeds out from the numerous pick wounds inflicted upon him. Don’t Hurt Me crawls over two human corpses and strikes the moleman Taardvark from behind. Taardvark loses a left leg to the blue pick, then the pick gets lodged in his right leg which sends him to the floor. Altoid uses that moment to smash Taarvark in the chest, brusing his lung. Stinky Skinky comes flying in with his whip and turns the poor molemans right arm to paste. I Feel Asleep disembowels Taardvark with his next swing. Taardvark has a huge advantage here. Since all of his teammates are dead he can just swing at anything moving and be guaranteed to hit an enemy. A flurry of blows land on the moleman, a whip crushes another foot, a mace bruises lungs and breaks ribs, and two picks punch holes in the molemans body. Arteries are opened, nerves are severed, but Taardvark continues fighting back ineffectually.  Moments later Taardvark bleeds to death. I genuinely do not know what happened to The Beast. Every fight I ran in previous rounds with him in it had him running forward and getting crippled, but his build is arguably the best on his team! I don’t understand it, just some completely lovely luck. Anyway, Throwbacks get completely and utterly demolished with a 4-0 victory for Team Legs. Two kills go to I Feel Asleep, and two more to Don’t Hurt Me. The other two fighters on Team Legs did a lot of damage which helped, but the picks proved deadly as ever. Combat Log
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 15:14
|
|
|
Wow, absolutely curb stomped.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 15:20
|
|
|
Welp. It turns out immediately losing a leg is pretty bad. I considered and rejected upgrading my armour to adamantine, as Team Legs had 2 blunt weapons that would have gone through it anyway and 2 picks that worked fine against the rest of my team without upgrading, but the skills I bought instead didn't save me either. Jack the Lad fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Oct 6, 2014 |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 15:55
|
|
|
At this point I'm beginning to think that investing in some adamantite boots would be the best investment I could make, people aim for feet a lot these days. Also, I'm rich as hell now, hell yeah. I upgraded my pick just in case I ran up against someone in steel armor, my strangler is very much a glass cannon so I have to make every hit count. Khisanth Magus fucked around with this message at 16:02 on Oct 6, 2014 |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 15:59
|
|
|
quote:Stinky Skinky lashes Taardvark in the left upper arm with her platinum whip and the injured part explodes into gore! Gotta say this about molemen: they can take a lot of punishment.
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 17:00
|
|
|
Zaltys posted:Gotta say this about molemen: they can take a lot of punishment. And here I was thinking that the platinum whip was the one weapon on the other team I didn't need to be afraid of...
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 17:17
|
|
|
Ninjavitis posted:And here I was thinking that the platinum whip was the one weapon on the other team I didn't need to be afraid of... High skill + platinum blunt weapon + no rigid armor = 
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2014 17:20
|
|
|
Test Tournament 1, Loser's League Round 1, Match 1 It's not entirely the end for those who failed to advance, as we continue to shove the contenders in a pile and see what breaks. On the left, we bring you Oscar Pistorius's gun club, showing It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre the Yeti of Locomotive breath, Karl the Human of Maarak, Just a Prick the Kobold of Duckaerobics and hambeaten the Dwarf of matthew beet. On the right, we bring you Armok's All-stars, showing Piston Mcquiston the Human of perpetulance, Mt. Molehill the Molemarian of Anchors, Uz Eat Gladiators the Troll of Haystack and Gremoral Artery the Gremlin of decoy badger. Every one of these fighters is new to me; while I have bet on some of their fights, I have not run any.   The humans meet first, front and center. Uz and hambeaten are notably hanging back. The humans fail to connect, but Just a Prick is not so faltering. His steel dagger cuts deeply into Gremoral Artery's, um... jugular. Mt. Molehill and Piston Mcquiston team up on Snogre, giving him a cut in the leg and choping off his middle finger on his right hand.  Just a Prick is playing quite the assassin today; he chops off Molehill's whole right hand in vengeance. Piston Mcquiston stabs It Ain't Ogre 'til it's Snogre in the right hand, breaking bone, and the furry giant collapses in agony, utterly unconscious. Thanks, yetis. You're wonderfully consistent. Also everyone hates right hands today. Just a Prick switches things up a bit, stabbing Uz in the right foot instead of the hand. The one injury is enough, and now the first and second largest fighters on the field are both completely out like wusses. Since we're in a theme, Karl stabs the Molehill in the right foot, also breaking bone. The molemarian is actually insensitive to pain and has three other legs, though, so he doesn't wimp out.  No, that honor goes to Gremoral Artery. Hambeaten only barely breaks the skin, and the gremlin is out like a light. Just a Prick gets a bone-breaking tap in, then hambeaten hits him one more time. The gremlin's head flies off.  Meanwhile, here's Mt. Molehill's hand, three z-levels up and showing no sign of stopping. Below, hambeaten cuts off Uz Eat Gladiators' head in turn.  Status check: Oscar Pistorius's gun club: one yeti unconscious, one bruise between the other three Armok's All-stars: two decapitated, one chewed-up mole, one human in fighting shape Determined to even things up at least somewhat, Piston finally strikes a lethal blow to Snogre.  Molehill's hand is now only two levels up. Below, his right lower arm is stabbed again. Just because there's no hand attached is no reason to pass it up.  One Z-level up, Molehill's hand, going down, meets Uz's head, going up. Back to the serious fighting. Just a Prick stabs Molehill's only uninjured right limb, the right rear foot, and breaks bone in it. The mountain falls over. His steel mail shirt is protecting him from several of the more instantly lethal attacks, but he can't mount any sort of offense. It might be up to Piston to carry the team. He gives it a game attempt, stabbing hambeaten through the leg. He, like everyone, forgets about Just a Prick for a moment too long. The kobold stabs through the human's leather armor, returning the same wound he just gave hambeaten. Both fall over.  Meanwhile, Uz Eat Gladiator's head has flown up as high as as the arena allows. I re-christen him Uz Eat Sky. Below, hambeaten and Karl and Just a Prick stab Piston through the weapon arm and kidney and shield hand... He, too, gives in to pain, triple-teamed by the useful members of the gun club. Hambeaten claims his head and the kill.  Oh, there's Uz Eat Sky's head. Anyway... Mt. Molehill. He gets steel in both of his left feet... and the right arm, can't forget that... and he bleeds out. Hambeaten claims the kill again. 4-1 victory for Oscar Pistorius's gun club over the Armok All-stars. They basically spotted a yeti and still carried the day with no trouble. Kills: hambeaten - 4, Piston Mcquiston - 1 Combat Log
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 04:51
|
|
|
Uz eat gladiators but he gets sorta full and sleepy after only one match worth of gladiators. He had a good first fight though.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 05:05
|
|
|
Look, Snogre provides lots of important moral support to the team between matches, telling stories of the old country and uh, getting them towels and stuff. He's a valuable and important member of the team. Honest. I swear. Look I thought he'd be good okay it's not my fault.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 07:30
|
|
|
Well, at least the Beast got to shine in our second fight. Maybe Spermy Smurf is just bad luck? Although actually, pretty much every fighter I've made for the arena had one fight where they shined, and then did nothing of interest afterwards.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 08:34
|
|
|
If anyone needs hambeaten he's in his trailer, getting a well deserved rubdown from two lovely bearded dwarfettes
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 09:36
|
|
|
Test Tournament, Losers edition, Match 2 The natives are getting restless. Lets post more bloody fighting between pixels! Today we have have the third place team from the Boatmurdered division: Purestrain Adamantium. Antastic the ant, Ballbag the kobold, Yeti Chan the yeti, and Lord Rand Paul the human arrange themselves on the left. Managers are pun pundit, fluppet, atomicthumbs, and Space Bat. On the right is the third place team from Gemclod: We’re All Friends Here. Fighters are: A Heart of Steel the dwarf, Brother Boccob the dwarf, Rambold the kobold (I just barely got this name. I am slow  ), and Uselessly Long Cumbersome Name the goblin who will be named ULCN in the writeup below. Managers are Spoggerific, Frozen Flame, Maugrim, and Anta. Why Anta did not make an ant will forever remain a mystery. The match starts with Brother Boccob firing a bronze arrow while the rest of the fighters charge across the arena. The arrow misses widely of course… Time for a 3v4 melee in the center, but it’s more like 3v3 since there is a yeti on the left.  Things immediately go south for We’re All Friends Here. ULCN’s entire left leg from the thigh down goes flying vertically into the air. Since the guys just told me how to go up and down Z levels, you might get to watch this one fly through the air.  In a stunning display of ‘not getting to follow a bodypart through the air’ UCLN’s leg just kind of flops to the side and does not go up into the air. What a disappointment. Oh, right; the fight. Antastic is brought to the ground by a strike from A Heart of Steel. The hammer bruises the muscle of a leg, but that’s enough to send Antastic to the floor. UCLN shows determination from the ground and stabs Ballbag in the leg which does not seem to inhibit movement. Ballbag returns the favor by slashing the arm holding the spear in his leg, forcing UCLN to drop the spear. Yeti Chan sees a prime target on the ground weaponless and grabs UCLN by the other arm. He holds her steady and punchisizes her face for free. He then sets down the goblin tenderly, only to yell “One for flinching!” and punches her in the bicep. It’s so much more fun to imagine the yeti as Officer Farva Now I’m just going to do a little play-by-play because the fighters have not moved from the previous screenshot. Lord Rand Paul welcomes himself to the fight by slicing deep into Rambolds stomach wide open. Rambolds riposte weakly chops the fat of the human. Ballbag continues to work on the downed UCLN, chipping bone and the goblin passes out.  Moments later Ballbag stabs UCLN in the head, killing the goblin. Lord Rand Paul charges the smaller Rambold (both fighters still have a weapon stuck in the other at this point). Rambold the kobold is knocked backwards, stunned. Yeti Chan runs in to help, likely trips over his own feet and accidentally shoulder charges Lord Rand Paul to the floor. Lord Rand Paul can be heard yelling “God damnit, Yes, Officer Farva just knocked his teammate down, stunning him. Brother Boccob finishes reloading.  Officer Farva realizes his mistake and swings a meaty fist at the stunned Kobold. Rambold’s left hand explodes into a pile of goo. Lord Rand Paul stands up and slices his sword across the stunned kobolds stomach, spilling his guts across the arena floor. Officer Farva grabs the kobold to hold him steady. Brother Boccob’s arrow is in flight, headed toward the enemy. We're All Friends Here really really needs this shot to count.  Antastic casually blocks the arrow with her shield. Officer Farva down there grabs and lets go of the unconscious kobold. He seems to be trying to do some kind of Vulcan neck pinch, or maybe shiatsu massage. Lord Rand Paul is more of an acupuncture guy and stabs Rambold again in the stomach, further bloody-ing him. Up top we have Antastic and Ballbag against A Heart of Steel who seems to be holding his own for the moment. Antastic is still down with a leg injury. Once the unconscious Rambold down bottom goes down, it’ll free up two more members to swarm A Heart of Steel for a 4v1.  Officer Farva begins to do his best Three Stooges impression by grabbing and releasing the unconscious Rambolds nose while taunting “Got yer nose!” After the nose-pulling, the huge yeti pulls Rambolds middle finger. Rambods guts are all over the arena floor, so I think farting is out of the question. Officer Farva realizes this and for some stupid reason reaches in into Rambolds mouth to grab his upper left wisdom teeth. Lord Rand Paul shoves his sword back into the kidney area of Rambold.  The large yeti finally gets a clue from Lord Rand Paul skewering the right kidney of Rambold and decides to punch the left kidney. Yeti Chan looks pleased with himself when Rambold bleeds to death at the same time. Kill is awarded to Lord Rand Paul. In the north, Ballbag swings at A Heart of Steel who deflects the blow and counter attacks… with his teeth. This proves to be a smart move because Antastic chops deep into the dwarfs hand, forcing him to drop his weapon anyway.  Antastic swings again, stabbing A Heart of Steel in the liver which causes incredible pain. A Heart of Steel blacks out. Officer Farva arrives and does his “pull my finger” trick. He simply cannot get it right. The other person needs to be awake otherwise they can’t fart. Ballbag stabs deep into the dwarfs skull, but his kill is stolen by Antastic who chops off A Heart of Steels head completely. Brother Boccob readies his third (and likely last) arrow as all 4 opponents charge him.  Brother Boccob lives by a rule. “One shot, one kill.” Wait. No. It’s “spray and pray.” His arrow drives Ballbag the Kobold back a step, hitting him in the shoulder. Ballbag gives in to pain. Brother Boccob begins reloading, luckily Officer Farva is the closest fighter to him; the dwarf archer is not in any real danger. Lord Rand Pauls sword clangs off of Brother Boccobs helmet. Officer Farva comes to the his enemy's rescue and shoulder charges Lord Rand Paul into the floor again. Lord Rand Pauls head bounces off the stone floor, stunning him. No, I am not making this up. Lord Rand Paul looks surprised by the ferocity of Officer Farva’s onslaught! Yeah, no poo poo he looks surprised. They’re loving teammates and this is the second time Officer Farva has driven his teammate into the floor.  Antastic is crawling around the arena desperately trying to get into the fight. Lord Rand Paul is seeing stars but manages to stand up. Officer Farva reaches for Brother Boccob, but instead gets shot point blank in the leg. The huge dumb animal falls to the floor, unconscious from the bolt that shattered his leg. If Brother Boccob can get another arrow into Lord Rand Paul before the human un-stuns himself he seriously might win this thing.  Lord Rand Paul shakes the stars away and stabs Brother Boccob in the left arm, forcing him to drop the crossbow. Good show Brother Boccob, I am afraid your time is up. His left arm is chopped off a moment later by Antastic and then the antwoman chops off his head. Purestrain Adamantium wins with a 4-0 victory that was much, much closer than it had any right to be. Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 17:59 on Oct 7, 2014 |
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 15:09
|
|
|
Yeti Chan, I need your badge and your gun.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 15:36
|
|
|
At least Boccob has been entertaining. He's still being turned into glue.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 16:51
|
|
|
Yetis seem to be comically bad at fighting.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 16:54
|
|
|
Khisanth Magus posted:Yetis seem to be comically bad at fighting. How many of them were actually armed?
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 17:03
|
|
|
my dad posted:How many of them were actually armed? We do rarely get to see them attack, so not sure. They usually spend the whole fight unconscious due to a paper cut.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 17:16
|
|
|
Khisanth Magus posted:Yetis seem to be comically bad at fighting. Yeah. Betting against the team with the yeti seems like a great move.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 17:19
|
|
|
Ghostwoods posted:Yeah. Betting against the team with the yeti seems like a great move. Also against the team with an archer.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 18:12
|
|
|
Apologies to Atomicthumbs for making fun of his yeti the entire match.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 18:15
|
|
|
none needed! it's astounding how good a member of the other team Yeti Chan makes.
|
|
#
?
Oct 7, 2014 19:10
|
|
|
For reference, this is Uz Eats Gladiator's build, which was as twinked out as I could make it He has the following equipment. Copper Maul He has the following skills. Level 3 Fighting (Competent) Level 7 Hammer (Adept) Level 1 Biting (Novice)
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2014 00:19
|
|
|
And here is Mt. Molehill: He has the following equipment. Oak Wood Shield Steel Helm Steel Mail Shirt He has the following skills. Level 1 Wrestling (Novice) Level 1 Shield (Novice) Level 1 Armor (Novice) Given another round of points, he would've been an unfeeling tank that ideally would take many generations of a warrior's family to kill. I'd feel worse about being a gimmicky drag on my team, but the rest of my team was built properly and they're just as dead as I am.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2014 02:31
|
|
|
Test Tournament 2, Winner's Quarterfinals, Match 2 On the left, All Slade Gauntlets All Day Long, featuring from top to bottom: Little Prick the Gremlin managed by Bad Munki, Fed After Midnight the Gremlin managed by my dad, long Name To Annoy Commish the Serpent Man now known as lNTAC managed by Spermy Smurf and Retchin' Gretchen the Goblin managed by Mlle. On the right, Grab N' Stab, featuring from top to bottom: Little Bastard the Gremlin managed by Testekill, Windy Mole the Molemarian managed by pantherrpg, Autoerotic Asphyxiation the Strangler managed by AJ_Impy and Not Ready Yeti the Yeti managed by Goodchild.  The fight begins and all warriors rush towards the center, eager to claim first blood! CRACK, RIP, THUNK as three consecutive blows radiate around the arena. The first belongs to Retchin' Gretchen who breaks one of Autoerotic Asphyxiation's arms! The second belonging to Little Prick who stabs Windy Mole, severing nerves in a foot! The third belongs to Autoerotic Asphyxiation who lodges his gleaming pick firmly into Retchin' Gretchen's right arm in retaliation! A silver hammer clangs loudly to the floor.  Autoerotic Asphyxiation wrenches his pick from Retchin' Gretchen's arm just in time for Little Prick to stab Windy Mole's right eye in half. The dagger gets stuck and Windy Mole takes the opportunity to charge Little Prick, knocking him over backwards! Little Prick stands up with no harm done. Autoerotic Asphyxiation, now with a free pick, cuts clean through Retchin' Gretchen's other arm. A second silver hammer joins the first and Retchin' Gretchen is now nearly defenseless!  Windy Mole grabs Little Prick by the neck and Little Bastard takes the opportunity to disembowel his Gremlin cousin (twice removed). Little Prick blacks out from the pain!  Not Ready Yeti decides that Retchin Gretchen is priority number one and charges at her, knocking her back. Fed After Midnight slashes Autoerotic Asphyxiation in the leg, severing nerves and grounding the extremely dangerous Strangler. lNTAC finds an opening and cracks Not Ready Yeti's ribs into his heart! Little Bastard wastes little time in sinking his gleaming dagger into Little Prick's skull, claiming the first kill of the match!  *Team Status* All Slade Gauntlets All Day Long: One Gremlin dead, one Goblin armless and bleeding, one healthy Serpent Man and one healthy Gremlin. Grab N' Stab: One grounded and wounded Strangler, One heart-ripped Yeti, One wounded and half blind Molemarian and one healthy Gremlin. Fed After Midnight stabs Not Ready Yeti in the hand, causing the hulking gladiator to black out! A kick, a bash and two stabs to the head later and Not Ready Yeti is no longer among the living.   After a long series of not much happening Windy Mole grabs Retchin' Gretchen's leg and then scratches out one of her teeth! lNTAC explodes one of Windy Mole's hands in vengeance! The Serpent Man turns and with a follow up swing breaks Autoerotic Asphyxiation's leg! Fed After Midnight tears up Little Bastard's leg with his gleaming sword! Little Bastard falls to the ground. lNTAC crushes Little Bastard's arm, causing him to black out! Fed After Midnight removes one of Little Bastard's teeth followed by lNTAC crushing Little Bastard's skull before any more torture could occur.   Retchin' Gretchen is looking pretty pale from all of the blood loss incurred so far. Retchin' Gretchen picks up and throws Windy Mole somehow, even though she is missing one arm and the other is broken, also she's dying from blood loss. What a persistent Goblin! Autoerotic Asphyxiation scrambles out of the way just in time as Windy Mole lands with a thunk, standing back up shortly after. lNTAC breaks one of Windy Mole's hands followed by Retchin' Gretchen kicking the Molemarian so hard in the chest it bruises his lungs! lNTAC breaks more bones in Autoerotic Asphyxiation's legs, followed by Fed After Midnight cutting off one of the Strangler's arms! Autoerotic Asphyxiation retaliates by cutting off Fed After Midnight's hand! lNTAC hits Autoerotic Asphyxiation in the chest hard enough to bruise the Strangler's heart, followed by another bone shattering strike to the Strangler's foot. Fed After Midnight cuts off one of Windy Mole's hands, speeding up the bleeding out process. lNTAC breaks another one of Autoerotic Asphyxiation's arms, followed by shattering one of the Strangler's ribs. This finally causes Autoerotic Asphyxiation to pass out from the pain! Retchin' Gretchen bites Autoerotic Asphyxiation in the head and latches on! Fed After Midnight cuts off one of Windy Mole's arms and lNTAC somehow bashes around Retchin' Gretchen and crushes Autoerotic Asphyxiation's skull!    Fed After Midnight joins the blood loss crew and looks rather pale. Gremlins have far less blood than Goblins and Molemarians, will Fed After Midnight live to see the end of this fight?  Fed After Midnight decides to make the most of his time and cuts off another of Windy Mole's feet causing the Molemarian to finally fall over. Fed After Midnight follows this up by cutting Windy Mole's other hand off. After cutting off a bit more of the Molemarian's right arm Fed After Midnight succeeds in causing his opponent to bleed out before him.   *Note: Less than 10 "steps" after this Fed After Midnight bled out as well. That's how little blood Gremlins have. Score: All Slade Gauntlets All Day Long - 4, Grab N' Stab - 1 Kills: Little Bastard - 1, Fed After Midnight - 2, lNTAC - 2 Combat Log Lessons learned: Goblins are tenacious fuckers and have a lot of blood. Stranglers can take a lot of punishment before blacking out.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2014 03:13
|
|
|
Holy poo poo. I did a bunch of testing to see if we would win and my greatest fear was the opponents wearing adamantine mail. I honestly didn't expect it but the third line in the combat log has the moleman wearing it. Since my sissy lizard rarely does bone-breaking damage through adamantine, it would have been up to Gretchen. Her losing her arms in the first few minutes was terrifying to me reading it. God drat I love this game. Edit: Gretchen threw the moleman who is larger than her by grabbing him with her armpit. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Oct 8, 2014 |
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2014 03:36
|
|
|
Yay but at the same time, drat it, come on, me.
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2014 03:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 28, 2024 09:26 |
|
|
Bad Munki posted:Yay but at the same time, drat it, come on, me. I tested a lot and you were usually our savior. I Edit: I realize testing doesn't do anything once builds are locked in, but I just like the fights 
|
|
#
?
Oct 8, 2014 04:10
|
|