shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

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Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

KiddieGrinder posted:

From then on during class you two constantly quoted the show and made in-jokes with each other to the bemusement of other students. Then you got married. And I don't even give a poo poo what gender you both are.

The story of Alan Turing and Albert Einstein.

# ? Oct 13, 2014 11:44

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# ? May 27, 2024 09:25

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Murphy Brownback posted:

poo poo that didn't happen: somebody posted about attendance in college classes and a derail about it didn't happen.

Literally keeps making me think I'm in the Venting About Students thread.

# ? Oct 13, 2014 12:25

Palisader: Mar 14, 2012; DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE

Murphy Brownback posted:

poo poo that didn't happen: somebody posted about attendance in college classes and a derail about it didn't happen.

I am legitimately sorry.

As an apology, I went onto the FA tag on Tumblr, hoping to find some STDH about doctors/random street people who treated a fat person like an ANIMAL, but apparently it's mostly full of 'trolls' and by trolls I mean people with legitimate criticisms of the FA movement.

# ? Oct 13, 2014 20:41

Rick_Hunter: Jan 5, 2004; My guys are still fighting the hard fight!
(weapons, shields and drones are still online!)

Palisader posted:

I am legitimately sorry.

As an apology, I went onto the FA tag on Tumblr, hoping to find some STDH about doctors/random street people who treated a fat person like an ANIMAL, but apparently it's mostly full of 'trolls' and by trolls I mean people with legitimate criticisms of the FA movement.

Go on

# ? Oct 13, 2014 20:47

Palisader: Mar 14, 2012; DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE

Rick_Hunter posted:

Go on

Eh, just a bunch of stuff about how both intentionally gaining weight and then intentionally not losing weight wasn't healthy, and is a separate issue from loving your body.

There was one blog that thought the word 'hambeast' was the absolute pinnacle of humor, but that's a different thread entirely.

# ? Oct 13, 2014 21:21

constantIllusion: Feb 16, 2010

Cracked.com posted a listicle written by an "Anonymous" Letter Carrier for the USPS. The entire thing was rife with STDH.

Here are some gems:

Cracked.com posted:

You can't deliver bills, packages, junk mail, and holiday gifts to someone for years on end without learning a few things about them. I know who has DUIs, who is going to court, and who pays child support just by the letters I deliver. I know the broad details of your life without ever seeing you. The FedEx guy just knows if you have an Etsy problem. I know all your sins. Now, it's not our job to determine if the contents of a package are legal or illegal. The biggest thing we look for is leaking packages, powder crusted on things (we regularly get people mailing talcum powder and have to make sure it's not anthrax). But, for example, once upon a time I delivered a shitload of Blu-ray players to the same house. Day in, day out, player after player -- far more Blu-ray players than any human could possibly use. The destination was a big, seemingly vacant house, too. There was never anyone there, and eventually I decided to see just what the hell was going on.

I opened the package. Yeah, that's kinda sketchy too. But at this point, I was pretty sure whatever was going down in this house was even sketchier. Inside the box was a regular Blu-ray/DVD combo. But then I popped it open and -- surprise surprise -- there was a brick of something wrapped in black plastic inside. I never found out what, because prying into that sort of secret is a shortcut to getting shot in the back of the head and dumped in a field.

quote:

#3. I Can Read Your Mail (and Might Use Your Bathroom, if I Get Desperate)
If I want to read a piece of mail badly enough, I can do it. It's easy enough to hide: we just stick it all in a plastic bag and mark it as "received in condition." So if I really want to read something, I can open it up, then rip off a corner like it got torn in a machine and no one will be the wiser.

There are carriers that'll use bathrooms and even swimming pools when you're not home. We get to know your schedule, and it's not hard to figure out who does and doesn't lock their doors or windows. If so, I might just use your bathroom, if it's an emergency. Not as a matter of routine, obviously (I'd get fired if I was caught), but there have been two occasions where I was desperate enough to take the risk.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 01:08

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

The Iron Rose posted:

In what world do University professors care if you attend class? Tutorials, sure, but that's with 20 people and a TA and even then they don't really care so long as you don't arrive 50 minutes in.

Some universities have very strict attendance policies. The one I got my BA at would drop you a letter grade for each missed class past the third. It was bullshit.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 01:39

RabbitWizard: Oct 21, 2008; Muldoon

Notalwaysright is like shooting stdh in a barrel, but this one is really bad:

quote:

(Two customers approach the counter, the first being a tall, bald man and the second being an elderly lady.)

Customer: �Hi. I�m every customer ever, and I have a bunch of stupid questions and unreasonable demands.�

Me: �Hi. I�m every employee ever, and I present a negative attitude as well as an unforgivable ignorance of both the products my employer sells and how to conduct myself civilly with other human beings.�

Customer: �Like an idiot, I have approached you with no idea what I want. But I nevertheless expect you to keep your full attention on me while I waste your time.�

Me: �That�s fine. I�ve already tuned you out and began to sing the theme song to Duck Tales to myself in my head as you bring us collectively closer to death without having accomplished anything meaningful.�

Customer: �Regarding [liquor], I will now proceed to barrage you with questions about it that either you have no way of knowing, or which I should already d*** well know the answers to.�

(I hand him a bottle of the liquor he mentioned and start to ring it up.)

Me: �I respond to your worthless questions with vague and unsatisfying responses, as my cranial faculties are occupied with lewd and lascivious irrelevancies. That will be [price], you personification of the downfall of western civilization.�

Customer: �I object to the price quoted, even though it is clearly indicated on the shelf behind you, and suggest some sort of extortion on your part, undoubtedly fueled by prejudice towards some aspect of my appearance, race, culture, or creed.�

Me: �Although mentally I am most certainly questioning your intelligence, parentage and/or upbringing, I merely offer transparently insincere apologies.�

Customer: �I proclaim in brash and vulgar terms my dissatisfaction. I make a laughable and grandiose claim of my own importance, such as being a millionaire, the brother of your company�s CEO, or perhaps the good old-fashioned �Do you have any idea who I am?� I further suggest that I could have you fired effortlessly and fully intend to do so for the insufficient quantity of butt-kissing you have exhibited toward me over the course of this transaction.�

Me: �I sadly inform you that my superior is not present on the premises and unhelpfully refer you to the company help line. Quietly I memorize the details of your face so that I can fantasize about committing acts of unspeakable and grotesque violence toward same at some later date.�

(The customer begins walking out the door.)

Customer: �Vague and impotent threat to your person and questioning of your sexual orientation!�

Me: �Sarcastic suggestion to have a nice day!�

(He walks out the door. The old lady behind him looks thoroughly perplexed by our exchange.)

Old Lady: �Who was that?�

Me: *shrugging* �My manager.�

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:13

The Shame Boy: Jan 27, 2014; Dead weight, just like this post.

That looks like something a trouper would write of they were trying to make up a story about them going to some kind of big box retailer.

But that's why it's hilarious

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:19

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

(I am in the kitchen washing dishes when I noticed the neighbours� daughter about to knock on the front door of my unit. I answer the door to see what she wants.)

Neighbour�s Daughter: �Can I come in and see your My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic toys?!�

Me: �Sure, why not.�

(As soon as she enters, several other kids show up and follow her inside. One of them is even carrying a bag full of �My Little Pony� toys. They stay for about half an hour, singing songs, eating food, looking through my collection, and talking about pony videos they had seen on the Internet. Once they were gone I texted my best friend what had happened.)

Me: �I now know how Bilbo Baggins felt when Gandalf threw that dwarf rave party.�

Best Friend: �What?!�

Me: �I was in my pj�s and robe, too. I keep expecting them to come back and make me sign a contract.�

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:25

Obdicut: May 15, 2012; "What election?"

corn in the bible posted:

(I am in the kitchen washing dishes when I noticed the neighbours� daughter about to knock on the front door of my unit. I answer the door to see what she wants.)

Neighbour�s Daughter: �Can I come in and see your My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic toys?!�

Me: �Sure, why not.�

(As soon as she enters, several other kids show up and follow her inside. One of them is even carrying a bag full of �My Little Pony� toys. They stay for about half an hour, singing songs, eating food, looking through my collection, and talking about pony videos they had seen on the Internet. Once they were gone I texted my best friend what had happened.)

Me: �I now know how Bilbo Baggins felt when Gandalf threw that dwarf rave party.�

Best Friend: �What?!�

Me: �I was in my pj�s and robe, too. I keep expecting them to come back and make me sign a contract.�

The first child was sent in the same spirit that penguins push one of their number into the water to check for sea lions, but in this case the sea lion is a pedophile.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:29

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Oh, you read Aatrek's tumblr?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:30

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

corn in the bible posted:

Me: �I now know how Bilbo Baggins felt when Gandalf threw that dwarf rave party.�

Best Friend: �What?!�

Me: �I was in my pj�s and robe, too. I keep expecting them to come back and make me sign a contract.�

?..

?......

If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:31

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

Sentient Data posted:

If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in prison and then had to register as a sex offender?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:41

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Sentient Data posted:

?..

?......

If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college?

Yeah, the first part of that seems like it's going one way, like a kind of creepy way but you could almost see a potential not-creepy way, and then the robe thing comes along inexplicably and cements all creepiness.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:00

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

(It�s Thanksgiving, and I�m seeing my youngest cousins for the first time since they were babies. To break the ice, we�re talking about the only topic I have in common with 4 and 7 year olds, �My Little Pony�.)

Me: �Okay, so since you�re wild and crazy, and your favorite pony is Fluttershy, your pony name will be� umm� Nuttershy!�

(They laugh uproariously at this.)

Older cousin: �My favorite pony is Rainbow Dash! Can my pony name be Sonic Rainboom?�

Me: �Okay! Nice! Now only I need a pony name, hmmm��

Younger cousin: �Your favorite pony is Pinkie Pie, and you have like a million cats, so your name will be Pussy Pie!�

Me: �Uh��

Cousins: �Come on, Pussy Pie! Let�s go write a letter to Princess Celestia and let her know we�ve all made new friends today!�

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:28

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
and this is how it went:

Sentient Data posted:

?..

?......

If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college?

Hahaha thank you for this

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:05

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

Be a super-hacker and gently caress the law!

http://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/2j6xtr/jury_duty_didnt_expect_my_technical_background_to/ posted:

The door rang at my condo, but I had no idea it would a defining moment back then.

??: "Mr. Bytewave? County clerk, I have a legal document for you, if you can buzz me in."

Moments later, I'm very happy. Ever since my uncle told me about his own experience serving on a jury when I was 8 or 9, I always wanted to do it too. I'm into law and politics and always valued those over IT. I just didn't think when I was younger that I'd make a killing in those fields, but that changed. I'm currently studying nights to move fields; Bytewave will not spend his life reminding frontline staff they should have reset the modem before calling after all...

Fast forward several weeks...

Crown Prosecutor: "The defense's claim that exculpatory evidence might exist on that computer is baseless and since it is no longer her property, unverifiable."

I was incredulous. Nearly everyone else on the jury was leaning towards 'guilty' in our closed door sessions that far, but that bit was just insane. The accused had a file she believed was exculpatory evidence, but no longer had physical access to the computer it was on, and had failed to convince the court a warrant to get it into evidence was needed. Time for a phone call from a secure line.

Bytewave: "Yeah, I know I'm supposed to be isolated and I don't care, that's what burners are for. I'm not sending someone to jail unless they're guilty, even if I have to be one of two dissenting voices on this 12-man jury - thankfully they need unanimity. This whole thing seems like a farce, the DA wants a win and I'm pretty sure is lying to get it. Either way, I need that file to know if the accused is telling the truth or not - you can get it for me if you're up to it."

Amelia, also senior staff at my telco: "There's no way I can get into her condo. I know it was sent through our network, but unless Internal Security cooperates there's no logs and Corp will never admit we even have the capability to see those.."

Bytewave: "I don't need logs, I need the file. I have a username and a password, all you need to do is be in the hallway with a phone or a tablet to get the truth."

Any powered-on Windows computer, even if it's not past the User prompt, will yield all it's secrets to a mobile device with the right app if you're in wifi range. All the times I watched videos over my wifi while my computer was sitting on the login prompt taught me at least that.

From a hallway, my friend gets the file with the login creds I gave her and send it to my burner.

Bytewave: "Thank you. She was telling the truth. You saved someone here Amelia. I'll see you at work soon."

My first impulse was bad. I almost emailed the file to everyone relevant. Wasn't the right play tho, and thankfully I figured that in time...

Back into jury conference...

Bytewave: "Yes, I could have sent it to the DA and the Judge, but then the way I got it would have likely been grounds for a mistrial. In this closed session where only the twelve of us know what's going on, we can deal with it more cleanly. Nobody needs to know we have this file at all, I just need everyone to look at it and make up their own minds."

Minutes later, seven weeks in, we have a verdict.

Jury lead: "Not guilty, your honor."

I broke three different laws and could have gotten my best friend in trouble. But an innocent woman about to be convicted went free - it'll always be one of the things I'm most proud to have done�. Juries exist for a reason. Be it through jury annulment or anything else, one of their duties is to give the middle finger to the law if they know it's right. Before the trial, I might have lied when they asked me if I knew what "Jury annulment" was - so I could be on the jury at all - and I might do it again.

Don't be overly honest with the system if you're truly sure lying will give a fairer outcome. The whole concept of juries boils down to defying the system if you know it's right. And I'd do it again.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:45

RillAkBea: Oct 11, 2008

Sentient Data posted:

Be a super-hacker and gently caress the law!

Wow, I can't wait to see what happens on next week's episode. Seriously it's like the plot of a haphazardly written action drama.

Next week on BYTEWAVE!
"Please Bytewave, you've gotta help me"
"For the last time, don't call me that! I've given up hacking for good, I'm going into law."
"But without your help, an innocent man is going to DIE!"

RillAkBea has a new favorite as of 14:29 on Oct 14, 2014

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:02

Trebek: Mar 7, 2002; College Slice

loving burners and "will yield all it's secrets to a mobile device with the right app if you're in wifi range". HAHAHAHAHAHA

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:16

Stottie Kyek: Apr 26, 2008; fuckin egg in a bun

One of my Facebook friends posted this from Australia First (a racist Facebook group in a similar vein to Britain First). Waiting to hear back if they posted it as a joke, if it was someone else on her account, or if she's secretly terrible.

quote:

## SOCIAL EXPERIMENT ##
So today I went to the shopping centre with my balaclava and done a walk around Coles , woolworths , target and the centre in general . I'll first state that when we arrived we noticed a few woman in burkas , no different to what I was wearing . I proceeded to walk around the centre to my first location ( woolworths ), I
entered and the buzzers went off immediately . I went and bought an item and headed to the checkout getting looks everywhere but purchased the item then headed to Coles for the same process . By now security has been called but nothing has happened . Last stop was target and on entry I was asked to remove it in which I replied " no , I'm sorry I can't " , he then told me he has the right to tell me to remove it but I explained that it's well within the laws and my rights to wear it and I asked him if a Muslim woman was to enter would you asked her to remove it , he said " no , that's different so I explained to him there is no difference at all and the law states this. By the time I had purchased an item and went through the checkout I was greeted by about 4 security guards that also asked me to remove it but once again I said no and told them to please call the police if it's a problem so they did. I then began to explain to them why I am doing what I'm doing and all 4 agreed with me and were talking to me like I was their best mate.
Within less then 5 minutes 4 police vehicles showed up with 10 officers and other cars near by watching . The police approached me and asked what I was doing but were very good about the way they handled it . I spoke to the police for over 10 minutes with the balaclava still on as they knew they had no right to make me remove it but only could for ID purposes . To my surprise the officer asked me to walk to the car with him when he started telling me he has to be carful what he said but he totally agrees with what I was doing and that he wished he was not on duty so he could find out more as I smashed them with information about ISLAM . I only had one cop carrying on saying I'm intimidating people but that just made me shut him down by using his own laws against him . Why did the other 3 people wearing the almost exact type of headwear not have the police called on them expecially when it's their religion that is committing all these putrid acts. We caught it all on film so once it's done I'll put it up . This experiment worked better than I thought it would

My favourite part is the bit where all the cops turn out to be secretly racist too. Looking forward to the film footage! :happened:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:41

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Stottie Kyek posted:

One of my Facebook friends posted this from Australia First (a racist Facebook group in a similar vein to Britain First). Waiting to hear back if they posted it as a joke, if it was someone else on her account, or if she's secretly terrible.

My favourite part is the bit where all the cops turn out to be secretly racist too. Looking forward to the film footage!

My favorite part is that it's the RELIGION that commits atrocities, as opposed to some people in the religion :downs:

I guess that would require treating them as individuals though and not being able to paint everyone in broad strokes of black and white morality!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:48

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

what religion requires that you wear a balaclava

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:53

Chas McGill: Oct 29, 2010; loves Fat Philippe

Stottie Kyek posted:

My favourite part is the bit where all the cops turn out to be secretly racist too.

That is probably the most plausible part.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:56

Cheradenine: May 29, 2009

corn in the bible posted:

what religion requires that you wear a balaclava

Third-day balaclavarians.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:59

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Cheradenine posted:

Third-day balaclavarians.

the eighth sacrament:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:02

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

corn in the bible posted:

what religion requires that you wear a balaclava

Reformed Russian Orthodox Church.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:38

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

Stottie Kyek posted:

One of my Facebook friends posted this from Australia First (a racist Facebook group in a similar vein to Britain First). Waiting to hear back if they posted it as a joke, if it was someone else on her account, or if she's secretly terrible.

My favourite part is the bit where all the cops turn out to be secretly racist too. Looking forward to the film footage!

Is there actually some law that protects people from showing there faces in public? I can't imagine any reason why someone would be permitted to wear a balaclava despite the wishes of everyone around them.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 18:02

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

I'm still just confused why everyone is suddenly calling them balaclavas instead of "ski masks" which is what they've been known as in the US (for the past few decades, at least). Is everyone so swept up in the fear porn that they default to a word that sounds foreign so they can make the person seem more threatening?

Also

quote:

he wished he was not on duty so he could find out more as I smashed them with information about ISLAM

A) Why would he need to be off duty to be present at a dispute where he could overhear things
B) What does the "experiment" have to do with Islam in the first place?
C) "we noticed a few woman in burkas , no different to what I was wearing" The gently caress? That's a full body covering, not a mask
D) "Coles , woolworths , target and the centre in general" Without saying a country, that list of stores tells me the US. I've never seen anyone wear a full freaking burqa in my life here. Head scarves, sure, but not that pacman ghost cosplay outfit
E) Why the hell am I getting so pissed off over this? :rant:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 19:47

Rick_Hunter: Jan 5, 2004; My guys are still fighting the hard fight!
(weapons, shields and drones are still online!)

Sentient Data posted:

I'm still just confused why everyone is suddenly calling them balaclavas instead of "ski masks" which is what they've been known as in the US (for the past few decades, at least). Is everyone so swept up in the fear porn that they default to a word that sounds foreign so they can make the person seem more threatening?

Also

A) Why would he need to be off duty to be present at a dispute where he could overhear things
B) What does the "experiment" have to do with Islam in the first place?
C) "we noticed a few woman in burkas , no different to what I was wearing" The gently caress? That's a full body covering, not a mask
D) "Coles , woolworths , target and the centre in general" Without saying a country, that list of stores tells me the US. I've never seen anyone wear a full freaking burqa in my life here. Head scarves, sure, but not that pacman ghost cosplay outfit
E) Why the hell am I getting so pissed off over this?

Liebural detected. Everyone get your guns.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 19:55

dregan: Jan 16, 2005; I could transport you all into space if I wanted.

corn in the bible posted:

what religion requires that you wear a balaclava

taigs and loyalest loyalists

# ? Oct 14, 2014 20:17

phosdex: Dec 16, 2005

Sentient Data posted:

D) "Coles , woolworths , target and the centre in general" Without saying a country, that list of stores tells me the US.

Woolworths doesn't exist in the US anymore. And from a reading of the wiki page, kinda interestingly the Australian company that uses the name stole it because it wasn't trademarked in AU.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 20:38

moerketid: Jul 3, 2012

Sentient Data posted:

I'm still just confused why everyone is suddenly calling them balaclavas instead of "ski masks" which is what they've been known as in the US (for the past few decades, at least). Is everyone so swept up in the fear porn that they default to a word that sounds foreign so they can make the person seem more threatening?

I dunno as a Brit they've always been balaclavas in the UK, it's not foreign or scary. I only hear Americans use "ski mask".

# ? Oct 14, 2014 21:18

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Ski mask honestly sounds more threatening.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 21:20

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Sentient Data posted:

I'm still just confused why everyone is suddenly calling them balaclavas

It's because they were used extensively during The Battle Of Balaclava, hence the name.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 21:44

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

I'm American and I only ever heard them be called ski masks until around the 2000s and now I haven't heard anyone call them anything but balaclavas in years.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 22:12

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Only ever heard "ski mask," "balaclava" always makes me think of the Greek dessert

# ? Oct 14, 2014 22:30

Creature: Mar 9, 2009; We've already seen a dead horse

Sentient Data posted:

D) "Coles , woolworths , target and the centre in general" Without saying a country, that list of stores tells me the US. I've never seen anyone wear a full freaking burqa in my life here. Head scarves, sure, but not that pacman ghost cosplay outfit

The clue was in the post. "One of my Facebook friends posted this from Australia First (a racist Facebook group in a similar vein to Britain First). "

They're all stores in Australia. There's plenty of women in burqas around Sydney, generally if you head further out into the suburbs where there's a larger Muslim population. You don't see so many in other areas though, because of the racist shitheads that try to have a go at them.

Also they're called balaclavas here. You're more likely to see them used for robbing servos than skiing.

Creature has a new favorite as of 23:04 on Oct 14, 2014

# ? Oct 14, 2014 23:01

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

I've heard 'ski mask' in reference to non-stretch materials, 'balaclava' when it is configurable to scarf/cap setups.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 23:06

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# ? May 27, 2024 09:25

NO FUCK YOU DAD: Oct 23, 2008

Americans call balaclavas ski masks? For some reason I always thought ski mask was synonymous with hockey mask. That's why I always thought American criminals were a lot more theatrical than ours, like, why do you need to dress up like Jason Voorhees to do crimes when you could just wear a balaclava?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 23:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

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