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Keanu Grieves posted:You're making some ridiculous assumptions about gender if you think neither Ashley nor Libby have penises. this post owns because it calls an assumption that would be correct about 99.9% of the time "ridiculous" when its actually a very precise rule of thumb with incredibly rare exceptions
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Oct 12, 2014 05:45
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newton's laws of motion are ridiculous assumptions about physics because they only work at speeds not very close to the speed of light and at scales above the interactions of elementary particles. its very, very problematic that we teach newtons laws of motion in school because they don't apply to everything all the time and if u say F=ma to an electron the electron might get so sad it commits suicide
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Oct 12, 2014 05:51
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Cool and good. posted:Oh yeah keanu grieves made this Spider-Man review where he talks about how Spider-Man hates women (http://www.somethingawful.com/current-movie-reviews/amazing-spider-man2/2/) .
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Oct 12, 2014 06:06
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If there is an American Flag in the movie thats basically .78 Hitlers
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Oct 12, 2014 06:56
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Remember when Captain America stood up? Yea that was totally an insult to holocaust victims somehow.
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Oct 12, 2014 07:45
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Tatum Girlparts posted:Remember when Captain America stood up? Yea that was totally an insult to holocaust victims somehow. I checked to see if this was an exaggeration quote:In one scene, a group of survivors in a skyscraper is put into immediate danger - bringing to mind an unfortunate event that actually occurred in New York a few years back - and it falls upon Captain America to save them all; in the moment that he learns this he is framed as a reflection in the rear-view mirror of a ruined motorbike as he raises himself up from the ground. Is this film now putting the burden onto us? Are we, the audience, now collectively Captain America? Are you suggesting that we could have saved all those people if we'd only taken action? Are you blaming me for 9/11?
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Oct 12, 2014 08:08
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Amethyst posted:I checked to see if this was an exaggeration It's not possible to exaggerate with these kind of people.
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Oct 12, 2014 08:15
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I bet that guy's TA gave him a B+
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Oct 12, 2014 08:18
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Amethyst posted:I checked to see if this was an exaggeration the best part is that he pretends to be really, really personally affronted and infuriated about it, even though he isnt even an american, so even if his insane neurotic interpretation was 100% correct, it still wouldnt have poo poo to do with him, unless captain america represents the entire western world somehow
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Oct 12, 2014 09:03
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In this review I feel very angry about having watched a dumb nerd movie for fags, but instead of simply stating this, I shall develop and describe to you a bizarre delusion, blaming my anger towards the film on a 2-second shot that I've radically misinterpreted to be an elaborate hidden message blaming me for AIDS.
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Oct 12, 2014 09:09
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It's really really weird. Like, that movie does play with the captain america character's old american values a little bit in a playful way and I guess you could see the rear view mirror thing as a facet of that but instead the reviewer chooses to be incredibly angry because correct politics are important. The idea that the movie is accusing him, personally of something is just straight up narcissistic.
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Oct 12, 2014 09:27
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Oh my God you guys are still here. What have you been doing all week?Amethyst posted:It's really really weird. Like, that movie does play with the captain america character's old american values a little bit in a playful way and I guess you could see the rear view mirror thing as a facet of that but instead the reviewer chooses to be incredibly angry because correct politics are important. The idea that the movie is accusing him, personally of something is just straight up narcissistic. gently caress it, let's get meta. Evidently no one here understands the concept of tongue-in-cheek anyway... The Looking Glass posted:It's really really weird. Like, that review does play with the captain america character's old american values a little bit in a playful way and I guess you could see the rear view mirror thing as a facet of that but instead we choose to be incredibly angry because the laziest possible filmwatching techniques are important. The idea that the review is accusing us, personally of something is just straight up narcissistic. You guys do appreciate that there's a spectrum between 100% serious SuperMechaGodzilla post and obvious joke you laugh at, right?
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Oct 12, 2014 12:22
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Some Guy TT posted:You guys do appreciate that there's a spectrum between 100% serious SuperMechaGodzilla post and obvious joke you laugh at, right? its called the autism spectrum and youre on it lol
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Oct 12, 2014 13:31
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Some Guy TT posted:Oh my God you guys are still here. What have you been doing all week? 
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Oct 12, 2014 13:57
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Great stuff guys. See you next week.
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Oct 12, 2014 14:04
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gently caress it, let's get meta.
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Oct 12, 2014 14:16
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Current Releases: gently caress it, let's get meta. Also so you'll stop being pissy that people ignored your dumb post, you realize if your joke is done in the exact same style as the average handwringing 'I have to say this superhero movie is actually fascist somehow' trend CR does, and is buried in a bunch of unironic 'The Avengers? More like trust the military industrial complex to keep you safe RIGHT SHEEPLE?!' poo poo maybe it's a bad joke?
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Oct 12, 2014 14:32
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Rename CD to gently caress it, Let's get Meta and then ban anyone that tries to post there
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Oct 12, 2014 15:38
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Ban anyone who tries to post anywhere else.
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Oct 12, 2014 16:45
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Amethyst posted:I checked to see if this was an exaggeration i don't believe the point of that is to take it serious, but rather as a joke. the failing in this, is that it's just plain not funny.
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Oct 12, 2014 16:47
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the 9/11 allusion analysis is the straight faced honest opinion, and the part where its supposed to be a joke is when he acts personally affronted, so both readings are true
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Oct 12, 2014 17:00
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Some Guy TT posted:Oh my God you guys are still here. What have you been doing all week? I'm pretty sure David Thorpe said this in a front page article a long time ago but it applies here: "it's not tongue-in-cheek, it's finger-in-nose."
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Oct 12, 2014 17:05
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The part where he said "9/11 IS NOT MY FAULT!!!" in the scoring was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but no man can convince me that he was not 100% serious about his interpretation of the shot as 9/11 victim blaming. This is the same man who wrote the sentence, "The female planes are apparently designed by someone who has no idea what a female plane would look like." Plus, he wrote a manifesto later that year defending his Avengers interpretation and urging his readers to "think". So gently caress off.
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Oct 12, 2014 19:14
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It really does feel like some people are trying to pull a Tommy Wiseau for these guys and go "yeah, it's dumb on purpose guys! They've been in on the joke the whole time, honest!"
Rival fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Oct 12, 2014 |
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Oct 12, 2014 19:34
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Professor Clumsy's Redline review is the best piece of writing on this website.
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Oct 12, 2014 20:35
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Whenever anything is presented as though you were viewing it through a reflection, that's basically the author saying that you do that. So if a movie has a person putting on makeup in the car and you're male, the author is calling you gay or if hitler is seen on the surface of a koi pond well...
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Oct 12, 2014 20:43
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"Sonoshee McLaren, in spite of being given a recognisable racing surname, is nothing more than a daydreaming girl who can't accomplish anything without her man. She wins the Yellowline race because Sweet JP fixes it for her, the revelation of which should frustrate her, but instead fills her with gratitude." I love it.
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Oct 12, 2014 20:49
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Women aren't objects to be stared at and used, they are objects to be protected and shielded
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Oct 12, 2014 21:47
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Babe Magnet posted:Ban anyone who tries to post anywhere else. This, but unironically. Babe Magnet posted:Women aren't objects Same.
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Oct 12, 2014 23:40
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Reminder that Professor Clumsy's review of the last Die Hard movie was so bad that another reviewer had to pop in at the end to say, "Actually, this guy is a loving idiot, and everything that he said about the movie is dumb and wrong."
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Oct 13, 2014 03:32
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Kudos for not reviewing Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day this week. None of us would have wanted to see what kind of bizarre subtext you could poo poo out of that particular kids' movie.
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Oct 13, 2014 03:46
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I hate this thread and the people in it. If you want to read current releases style reviews, go to one of their blogs or the movie forum or something. The front page is supposed to be funny though. CR has like two actually funny reviews (one is g0m's, and the other is probably out there somewhere). It shows that a feature like current releases can be funny but the writers aren't trying to be funny, and their fans don't care. Let's not get bogged down in arguments about whether the criticism of a plane's gender or whatever is legit - the reviews simply are not funny, at all, even when they are decent reviews.
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Oct 13, 2014 03:50
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pat_b posted:If you want to read current releases style reviews, go to one of their blogs I think weve established that noone does that
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Oct 13, 2014 03:54
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pat_b posted:I hate this thread and the people in it. If you want to read current releases style reviews, go to one of their blogs or the movie forum or something. The front page is supposed to be funny though. CR has like two actually funny reviews (one is g0m's, and the other is probably out there somewhere). It shows that a feature like current releases can be funny but the writers aren't trying to be funny, and their fans don't care. Let's not get bogged down in arguments about whether the criticism of a plane's gender or whatever is legit - the reviews simply are not funny, at all, even when they are decent reviews. I care about the plane's gender, because I only want to have sex with lady planes.
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Oct 13, 2014 04:05
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Y-Hat posted:Kudos for not reviewing Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day this week. None of us would have wanted to see what kind of bizarre subtext you could poo poo out of that particular kids' movie. Oh wow a white middle class boy had a 'terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day', I guess they're saying that this day was worse than A RAPE VICTIM'S???
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Oct 13, 2014 04:40
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Is this film trying to say that the starving Ethiopian kids dying of ebolaids are having a better day? Oh and of course the protagonist is a cis white male! Typical
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Oct 13, 2014 05:58
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I read a review of the movie and apparently the dad is unemployed and looking for work, while the mom is the stressed-out breadwinner. So going by Current Releases Logic (which I hope I never have to use again) this is a positive development.
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Oct 13, 2014 07:18
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Y-Hat posted:I read a review of the movie and apparently the dad is unemployed and looking for work, while the mom is the stressed-out breadwinner. So going by Current Releases Logic (which I hope I never have to use again) this is a positive development. The mom is stressed out? So this movie is saying women can't handle work like a man can? Wow Disney way to stick to the old regressive messages.
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Oct 13, 2014 15:17
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I don't read Current Releases, and neither should you, but a quote in a FYAD thread made me check out the Boxtrolls review and welpquote:There is also a subplot that will be sure to anger some and confuse others. Snatcher pretends to be a woman through large portions of the film to help seed a false tale of the Box Trolls and to spy on the elite members of society he wishes to join. It's bizarre and more than a little offensive at times. Tumblr is already seething about this, and after seeing it, I cannot blame them. It's tasteless and serves little purpose but to poke fun at a man in a dress, which is really not needed in a 2014 children's film.
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Oct 15, 2014 04:45
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Why the hell is this piece of poo poo on the front page of a comedy website. Why. What the gently caress, Lowtax. Kick these worthless pisstards out already.
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Oct 15, 2014 04:46
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