Magic: The Gathering: Megathread: Sorin & Sarkhan's Excellent Adventure

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Magic: The Gathering: Megathread: Sorin & Sarkhan's Excellent Adventure

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Zemyla: Aug 6, 2008; I'll take her off your hands. Pleasure doing business with you!

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

Speaking of WB cards and promos,

# ? Nov 11, 2014 06:06

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:10

Nibble: Dec 28, 2003; if we don't, remember me

sarmhan posted:

I mean if we're going to talk flavor text.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 06:12

homerlaw: Sep 21, 2008; Plants are the best ergo Sylvari=Best

The last line of the "Love Song of Night & Day" is just so heartbreaking, as is the art for the card that it is on.

"Like Day from Night, / I'll live my life apart from you, just glimpsing you across the sky, / because you cannot change, my dear, and nor can I."
�"Love Song of Night and Day"

Here's the whole thing, it's actually decent poetry all things considered.
http://archive.wizards.com/Magic/magazine/article.aspx?x=mtgcom/feature/145

# ? Nov 11, 2014 06:21

vOv: Feb 8, 2014

This stuck with me for some reason.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 06:47

Dungeon Ecology: Feb 9, 2011

^^^ I totally forgot about that card. That is cool flavor text.

Also, I dig that it's still a viable card for a limited environment after all these years. It would be a sweet turn 5 play in KTK limited, after your opponent has dropped their two morphs.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:03

do u believe in marigolds: Sep 13, 2007

Nibble posted:

I actually got this one over the more common "pretty" Masques one because of the quote and the guy's face. He's probably thinking, "A-bluh-blooh!"

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:09

Babylon Astronaut: Apr 19, 2012

Cernunnos posted:

Looking at it now, Lotus Petal's flavor text is a nice meta joke.

The duel deck version of Remand is a good meta joke:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:12

I Love You!: Dec 6, 2002

Sorry guys but the all time best hilarious flavor text is clearly

Try reading it out loud without using a gross LARP voice, it's impossible.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:14

Spiderdrake: May 12, 2001

I Love You! posted:

Try reading it out loud without using a gross LARP voice, it's impossible.

All that happens is I do the Heavy mannerisms without even trying. Maybe, maybe. But let us see you outsmart mace, necromancer!

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:15

Angry Grimace: Jul 29, 2010; ACTUALLY IT IS VERY GOOD THAT THE SHOW IS BAD AND ANYONE WHO DOESN'T REALIZE WHY THAT'S GOOD IS AN IDIOT. JUST ENJOY THE BAD SHOW INSTEAD OF THINKING.

Ash Zealot is so hardcore tsundere for Snapcaster Mage.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:20

Dungeon Ecology: Feb 9, 2011

I Love You! posted:

Try reading it out loud without using a gross LARP voice, it's impossible.

Immediately followed by a teenaged war-yodel.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:22

ungulateman: Apr 18, 2012; pretentious fuckwit who isn't half as literate or insightful or clever as he thinks he is

My favourite flavor texts are absolutely the Demigods from Shadowmoor and Eventide. They capture the bleak beauty of Shadowmoor flawlessly, the art is perfect for them, even their names capture every little thing. They're the perfect blend of Melvin and Vorthos. And it's all tied together by the incredible Seer's Parables.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:30

JerryLee: Feb 4, 2005; THE RESERVED LIST! THE RESERVED LIST! I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE RESERVED LIST!

The only thing that's a bit uneven for me about the demigods, card-flavor-wise, is how deep into the thesaurus they had to reach. I'm still not sure if I like the result or not, but it doesn't spoil the cycle or anything.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:34

Johnny Landmine: Aug 2, 2004; PURE FUCKING AINOGEDDON

I Love You! posted:

Sorry guys but the all time best hilarious flavor text is clearly

Try reading it out loud without using a gross LARP voice, it's impossible.

I like this one because it reminds me of another great sassy red comeback:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 07:37

A big flaming stink: Apr 26, 2010

The whole 'invoke dichotomy to show how super srs you are' is overdone in fantasy stuff, but when it's done well it's kind of cool.

also the card art is what the gently caress in a well-drawn way

# ? Nov 11, 2014 08:01

vOv: Feb 8, 2014

Oracle posted:

Creature - Human Wizard

# ? Nov 11, 2014 08:10

Mercury Crusader: Apr 20, 2005; You know they say that all demons are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Pyro Jack and you can see that statement is not true, hee-ho!

He's just messing up some White Zombie lyrics is all.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 08:17

Rinkles: Oct 24, 2010; What I'm getting at is...
Do you feel the same way?

vOv posted:

Going by art, by Scourge, almost every creature in the set should've had the Mutant subtype.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 09:25

Attorney at Funk: Jun 3, 2008; ...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Setting aside jokes -

and smug counterspells -

and literary quotes -

I like a good somber flavor text, on a big white spell

# ? Nov 11, 2014 09:28

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

They certainly are.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 10:25

Keiya: Aug 22, 2009; Come with me if you want to not die.

Chamale posted:

Now I'm curious, what's the longest flavour text on a card? Devouring Deep clocks in at 39 words. Also, what are your favourite flavour texts? I'm still partial to Goblin Offensive: "They certainly are."

Honorable mention to Last Word:
"Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you."

vOv posted:

This guy really needs to go back to being just Creature - Wizard.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 12:05

BizarroAzrael: Apr 6, 2006; "That must weigh heavily on your soul. Let me purge it for you."

Let's hear it for the minimalist flavor text:

And I think Murder is a flavor win for having none at all:

That guy? Dead. The end. No moral.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 12:12

Bread Set Jettison: Jan 8, 2009

comedy option

# ? Nov 11, 2014 12:25

xeose4: Sep 22, 2014

Whoever linked the Love Song of Day and Night thing, thank you, I had always wondered about that one!

I am extremely partial towards the flavour texts associated with ghosts, like Bog Wraith and Lost Soul (especially the ice-flavoured kind, like Chilling Shade and Frozen Shade). I particularly like penitent, noble or otherwise virtuous spirits, which unfortunately are mostly White, like Chapel Geist and Geist of the Moors. Found one exception though, Disowned Ancestor.

This all probably stems from Moaning Spirit being the first card I ever got (from a Starter pack), and me being just completely enchanted by the art and flavour text.

I vaguely recall some cool flavour text around the ice-themed expansions, but I'd have to go dig through the Gatherer. Either way, I just find the flavour text around ghosts to have some real gems to appreciate.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 12:34

Rinkles: Oct 24, 2010; What I'm getting at is...
Do you feel the same way?

BizarroAzrael posted:

And I think Murder is a flavor win for having none at all:

That guy? Dead. The end. No moral.

There's something to be said for flavorless, rules-textless textboxes - just in terms of clarity.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 12:53

Jabor: Jul 16, 2010; #1 Loser at SpaceChem

Rinkles posted:

There's something to be said for flavorless, rules-textless textboxes - just in terms of clarity.

Time Stop is pretty much the best one of those.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 13:35

Ramos: Jul 3, 2012

# ? Nov 11, 2014 14:05

Samael: Oct 16, 2012

This is my fave flavour text-

# ? Nov 11, 2014 14:31

Elyv: Jun 14, 2013

I'm a fan of various stupid Onslaught block goblin flavor text:

Various

texts, my favorite unmentioned one thus far is this one:

As far as somber white flavor text goes I don't think anything matches Yojimi but I like this one too:

I also like some of the classics, such as Jaya Ballard:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 15:09

Nibble: Dec 28, 2003; if we don't, remember me

# ? Nov 11, 2014 15:19

Zero_Grade: Mar 18, 2004; Darktider 🖤🌊

~Neck Angels~

^^ ugggghhhhh

Attorney at Funk posted:

Just made this connection, but is Barren Glory supposed to be depicting Tolaria?

# ? Nov 11, 2014 15:32

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Gnawed to death. Bad way to go.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 15:32

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

Two words appended to the end of a quote make it all that much better.

-Orange Fluffy Sheep, last words

# ? Nov 11, 2014 15:48

Pyronic: Oct 1, 2008; ROYAL RAINWHARRGARBL

Adder Moray posted:

Pretty much my example of heroic mono-black heroes from other forms of fiction would be someone like Nico DiAngelo from the Percy Jackson series (more specifically when he's older during the Heroes of Olympus series) if you want to be dead on the nose about it.

Or someone like Roronoa Zoro from One Piece who has an extremely black goal of "be the absolute best at something and cut down any mother fucker in my way". And who even when being "noble" and "selfless" does it in the most black way possible. "This is MY job on this crew. I'M the only one I trust to be capable of doing it. I will knock your rear end out if you try to prevent me from doing it." And has the most black attitude about winning fights "don't care if I'm gutted,I lose an eye, or I lose a limb, as long as at the end of the fight, I'm the winner and they're the loser."

See my follow-up post.

Chainer was a pretty good Protagonist through Torment.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 16:14

Chorocojo: Sep 25, 2005; Legendary Enchantment Creature -- Bird God

Zero_Grade posted:

^^ ugggghhhhh

Just made this connection, but is Barren Glory supposed to be depicting Tolaria?

It's not. Tolaria is an island.

It is, however, the first appearance of the planeswalker symbol.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 16:22

Entropic: Feb 21, 2007; patriarchy sucks

I Love You! posted:

Sorry guys but the all time best hilarious flavor text is clearly

Try reading it out loud without using a gross LARP voice, it's impossible.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 16:26

deftest: May 7, 2011

# ? Nov 11, 2014 16:52

Count Bleck: Apr 5, 2010; DISPEL MAGIC!

I guess I just like dialogue and really bad puns.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 17:21

vOv: Feb 8, 2014

Keiya posted:

Honorable mention to Last Word:
"Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you."

This guy really needs to go back to being just Creature - Wizard.

But the point is that he only thinks he's more than human: he's actually just some super-egotistical schmuck, which is why he costs 8 mana for a 1/1. It's perfect!

# ? Nov 11, 2014 17:30

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:10

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

One of these days I'm gonna build a deck around scornful egotist and homarid spawning bed. Probably UB so I can bring the egotist back repeatedly.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 17:40

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