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Macaluso posted:How do you... play quidditch in real life Attach brooms to these. 
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Nov 12, 2014 01:49
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Macaluso posted:How do you... play quidditch in real life Shamefully.
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Nov 12, 2014 01:56
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The only match I saw involved guys running around with broomsticks between their legs, smacking themselves in the balls occasionally while they tossed...balls...around. Looked fun though.
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Nov 12, 2014 02:09
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Quidditch for Muggles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocy9uXXDE8M Also, in the film "The Internship," there's a scene at a Google gathering where teams of potential interns play Quidditch. The scene where the Golden Snitch appears is cringeworthy.
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Nov 12, 2014 02:10
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That would all be a lot more dignified without the loving sticks between their legs.
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Nov 12, 2014 02:23
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PriorMarcus posted:That would all be a lot more dignified without the loving sticks between their legs. Yeah, there are weird holdovers from the fact that it's adapted from Harry Potter - the brooms, the snitch, the fact that goals are 10 points instead of 1. As a competitive sport it's a lot of fun, and basically like rugby where the small players can throw dodgeballs as an alternative to tackling. It works well as a coed sport because the keeper, centre chaser, and one beater should be big and strong while the wing chasers and other beater should be small and nimble. But I don't know when the best time would be to make the jump from "Harry Potter fangame" to "real sport".
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Nov 12, 2014 03:06
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Chamale posted:Maybe that's why students had to study so hard for their OWLs - the teachers didn't actually help them learn what they needed to know. Its probably the 'old style' of learning that Terry Pratchett refers to, where you put students in the presence of large amounts of knowledge and hope that something passes from one to the other Hopefully the students don't get into the Forbidden section of the Library and end up as a Dark Lord of magic again though
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Nov 12, 2014 03:07
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Not A Bear posted:Its probably the 'old style' of learning that Terry Pratchett refers to, where you put students in the presence of large amounts of knowledge and hope that something passes from one to the other Pretty much- that library seemed to have information on everything from first year background reading to the magical equivalent of a ballistic missile schematic. It's always fun pointing out the scary subtext to a children's book series. My favourite ones: Harry and Ginny's kids have names that are important to Harry, so you have to wonder at the nature of their relationship if Ginny doesn't get a say in naming her own kids. Also Albus Severus, named after two people who comprehensively ruined Harry's life. There only seems to be one source of news and information, and the government has heavy control over it. All the kids are carrying weapons, with the capacity to seriously hurt and wipe minds. There are widely available potions that amount to raping people; how is the Imperius curse that much worse than the love potions Fred and George were selling?
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Nov 12, 2014 09:54
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Its alright, Ginny will have a torrid affair with Neville when she's in her 30's and realizes she drew the short end of the world saviour stick. She's already his sloppy seconds.
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Nov 12, 2014 11:51
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Plucky Brit posted:Harry and Ginny's kids have names that are important to Harry, so you have to wonder at the nature of their relationship if Ginny doesn't get a say in naming her own kids. Also Albus Severus, named after two people who comprehensively ruined Harry's life. I mean it makes sense they'd call the oldest kid James, and they both knew Sirius. Calling the daughter Lily is a little more creepy (since its naming kids after both of Harry's dead parents), but Luna was one of Ginny's best friends, and you'd think if Harry had the sole input he'd go with Hermione. And poor little Albus Severus, well Snape tried to save Harry's life on a couple of occasions and shielded Ginny and friends from the Carrows as best he could (like giving them detention with Hagrid when they tried to steal the sword). He also nearly killed Harry by hiding the sword in that pond, and was a complete dickbag to Gryffindor students in his class. And Dumbledore, did the best he could? Or Rowling named the kid what she did to have the whole "doesn't matter what House you end up in" speech. PriorMarcus posted:Its alright, Ginny will have a torrid affair with Neville when she's in her 30's and realizes she drew the short end of the world saviour stick. She's already his sloppy seconds. Neville doesn't care enough about Quidditch to stick with Ginny.
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Nov 12, 2014 16:06
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We really need some kind of story of Hogwarts in 7th year (probably the most requested thing next to a Marauders prequel) because we need to see how alpha Neville got. Like there's still this residual image in my head of the nerdy awkward kid who likes plants, but anyone who cuts off the head of a snake with a motherfucking sword is automatically the most manly guy in a room for the rest of his life. That's gotta be hard to reconcile because I'm sure he's still awkward and clumsy to some extent.
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Nov 12, 2014 17:08
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JesusSinfulHands posted:We really need some kind of story of Hogwarts in 7th year (probably the most requested thing next to a Marauders prequel) because we need to see how alpha Neville got. Like there's still this residual image in my head of the nerdy awkward kid who likes plants, but anyone who cuts off the head of a snake with a motherfucking sword is automatically the most manly guy in a room for the rest of his life. That's gotta be hard to reconcile because I'm sure he's still awkward and clumsy to some extent. There is this really popular, very lovely fanfic that deals with this. Someone here will undoubtedly give you the link, and I strongly urge you not to waste your time reading it.
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Nov 12, 2014 17:33
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JesusSinfulHands posted:We really need some kind of story of Hogwarts in 7th year (probably the most requested thing next to a Marauders prequel) because we need to see how alpha Neville got. I'm not so sure that I'd want to read about the Marauders being assholes to everyone and then endangering Lupin (and also Snape) by leading Snape into Lupin's monthly hideaway place. I suppose the only thing I'd like to read about was how the others reacted to finding out about Lupin. And I've always wondered if James might have used a love potion to make Lily fall for him. I'd love to read the "other side" of Hogwarts' Seventh Year. If JKR ever wrote that, it would be awesome to see Nevile come into his own.
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Nov 12, 2014 17:56
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Inveigle posted:And I've always wondered if James might have used a love potion to make Lily fall for him. You have to dose the victim constantly, if you ever stop then the victim knows immediately.
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Nov 12, 2014 18:45
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I like to think that wizard marriages involve jumping through one of those enchantment removing waterfalls.
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Nov 12, 2014 19:32
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Also if Harry had been born under a love potion he'd presumably be a lot more Voldemorty as opposed to being defined by his ability to love.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:26
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James really gets a pretty bad deal from Rowling. A few flashbacks about James and Lily post-Hogwarts would have been some nice development. Instead we're just left with Harry constantly being shown James was an rear end in a top hat with vague assurances that he totally turned it around after Hogwarts.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:07
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Paragon8 posted:James really gets a pretty bad deal from Rowling. A few flashbacks about James and Lily post-Hogwarts would have been some nice development. Well, we get a lot of trustworthy characters saying he was a good person and we saw him sacrifice his life for his wife and child without a moment's hesitation. He was probably still a bit of a shithead but he seemed like an okay guy once he was out of high school.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:17
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ImpAtom posted:Well, we get a lot of trustworthy characters saying he was a good person and we saw him sacrifice his life for his wife and child without a moment's hesitation. He was probably still a bit of a shithead but he seemed like an okay guy once he was out of high school. It might have been nice if Dumbledore hit up Harry with a Pensieve memory of James being a total badass somewhere between being bullying Snape and dying though.
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Nov 13, 2014 00:42
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Better yet, it would be a lot more awesome to make Harry into that badass, instead of having him mope all the time. Like, I dunno...give him two guns, paint the Union Jack on his robes, and turn him into Captain Britain?
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Nov 13, 2014 02:55
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Variant_Eris posted:Better yet, it would be a lot more awesome to make Harry into that badass, instead of having him mope all the time. Go read The Books of Magic.
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Nov 13, 2014 03:57
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Really the only time we see James being really lovely is from loving Snape, who supposedly loved the girl James married and has spent every second he's been around James' son torturing him. Basically what I'm saying is James should have let Snape die. Actually now that I'm thinking of it, wouldn't it make much more sense for Snape's life debt to mean he wouldn't have been able to tell Voldemort about the prophecy? I would claim that he could betray James this way proves that there wasn't an actual life debt, and that Snape wasn't in actual danger of being killed by werewolf Lupin.
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Nov 13, 2014 04:52
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Life Debts don't work like that though. Pettigrew didn't falter strangling Harry because the magic of the life debt forced him to, he hesitated because he owed Harry his life and at least for a moment he couldn't bring himself to do it. And then the hand he got killed him because Voldemort is a dick and cursed it to kill Pettigrew if he ever betrayed him.
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Nov 13, 2014 05:10
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The entire "life debt" thing was straight-up something Dumbledore told Harry as a lie to cover for why the hell Snape would want to protect him. Snape even went "is THAT what Dumbledore told you?" the first time Harry brought it up to him. Snape never cared one iota about James saving his life.
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Nov 13, 2014 05:37
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JesusSinfulHands posted:We really need some kind of story of Hogwarts in 7th year JohnSherman posted:There is this really popular, very lovely fanfic that deals with this. Someone here will undoubtedly give you the link, and I strongly urge you not to waste your time reading it. It's called "Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness", and reminded me a lot of the Ender's Shadow books (not an endorsement per se). It's worth reading if you read quickly and don't have a lot of things to do. Under no circumstances should you read its sequel, "Sluagh" -- it's written by the same author, but feels much more like a fanfic, and contains rape and sexual torture mixed with some real-life politics.
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Nov 13, 2014 08:36
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I can admit with no guilt that I don't like Harry Potter fanfiction. The only Harry Potter fanfic in recent memory that I liked was "The Third Wizarding War: The Story of Miles Brand" And that was because it followed three villains on-the-run, instead of the Golden Trio's point of view.
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Nov 13, 2014 21:20
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rchandra posted:It's called "Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness", and reminded me a lot of the Ender's Shadow books (not an endorsement per se). It's worth reading if you read quickly and don't have a lot of things to do. Do not read this story, it is written by a professional con artist named Andy "Thanfiction." Just Google the name and you'll find his rap sheet which involves an actual cult, lots of stolen money, and actually getting a woman killed by convincing her to embezzle from her mentally unstable husband.
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Nov 13, 2014 22:39
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It really speaks to Harry Potter's accessibility that it has become such an easy shorthand that has fed tens of thousands of fics. The weird fics to me are the ones that are barely related to the original subject. Like I remember reading 50 Shades of Grey started out as a Twilight fanfiction from a community that had apparently moved on from using vampires in their Twilight fanfiction.
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Nov 14, 2014 03:29
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HIJK posted:actually getting a woman killed by convincing her to embezzle from her mentally unstable husband. Whoa, I read about the other lovely stuff he did, but that's a whole new level of bad. Paragon8 posted:Like I remember reading 50 Shades of Grey started out as a Twilight fanfiction from a community that had apparently moved on from using vampires in their Twilight fanfiction. I believe The Mortal Instruments is pretty much HP fanfiction as well, bring a rewrite of "The Draco Trilogy".
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Nov 14, 2014 06:46
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Oh man I remember reading a bootleg of Deathly Hallows my freshman year of college where Ginny came along and the entire thing turned into a weird as hell double date. Complete with Harry and Ginny breaking up in Morocco, or some bullshit like that. Anyone else remember what I'm talking about or was it some insane fever dream?
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Nov 14, 2014 08:44
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There's even a novel about a
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Nov 14, 2014 08:49
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TARDISman posted:Oh man I remember reading a bootleg of Deathly Hallows my freshman year of college where Ginny came along and the entire thing turned into a weird as hell double date. Complete with Harry and Ginny breaking up in Morocco, or some bullshit like that. Anyone else remember what I'm talking about or was it some insane fever dream? In the weeks before Book 7 was released a few fakes "leaked" which turned out to be bad fanfics that were labelled as being the book. It was done either to trick people into reading someone's crappy fanfic or to make readers think that JKR had suddenly gone all lurid in the final Potter book (making it into a bad romance novel with magic). You know...a practical joke. When the actual book itself leaked (about a week before the date of release) it turned out to be a library copy that someone had laid on the floor and taken photos of the book's double page spreads. Then all the .jpg files were zipped into one archive and dropped on a torrent site. People were calling the leaker "The Rogue Librarian" since the book had a clear plastic book jacket cover on it (that's used in libraries to protect the dust jackets of hardbound books). Libraries had been shipped their copies early so that the books could be processed so they'd be on the library shelves the day the book was officially released.
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Nov 14, 2014 10:01
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TARDISman posted:Oh man I remember reading a bootleg of Deathly Hallows my freshman year of college where Ginny came along and the entire thing turned into a weird as hell double date. Complete with Harry and Ginny breaking up in Morocco, or some bullshit like that. Anyone else remember what I'm talking about or was it some insane fever dream? Oh god, I downloaded the series to read on a trip on an e-reader and the last book was a fake and I made it about 200 pages in before I realised. It had Dudley getting magical powers and ending up evil or something.
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Nov 14, 2014 12:22
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I had the opposite problem, I got and read the real one but I thought it was obviously a fake troll fanfic of book 7 after there was no Hogwarts and they went camping instead.
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Nov 14, 2014 22:03
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Are the bootlegs still out there? I was desperate to avoid spoilers in the runup to Book 7 so I basically quit the internet. Now I feel like I missed a lot.
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Nov 14, 2014 23:21
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Xachariah posted:I had the opposite problem, I got and read the real one but I thought it was obviously a fake troll fanfic of book 7 after there was no Hogwarts and they went camping instead. Dude, people were rightfully predicting that they would go camping and not return to Hogwarts immediately after book 6 came out. It didn't come out of nowhere.
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Nov 15, 2014 01:52
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I guess I didn't go to the places those predictions were happening then. Sorry.
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Nov 15, 2014 02:13
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Sato posted:Are the bootlegs still out there? I was desperate to avoid spoilers in the runup to Book 7 so I basically quit the internet. Now I feel like I missed a lot. Oh man, I remember that happening now. I downloaded it, that library carpet is a distant memory of mine. I have no idea if I have it around or not on some old hard drive. There are still torrent listings for it, but looks like no peers. Honestly it wouldn't be a very interesting file to have if you don't have the memories of reading it in windows picture viewer before the book came out.
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Nov 15, 2014 03:51
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Xachariah posted:I guess I didn't go to the places those predictions were happening then. Sorry. Dumbledore, the only man Voldemort feared, was dead, and the trio needed to find and destroy all the remaining horcruxes. I'm curious, what exactly did you expect to happen? Voldemort just sits on the sidelines while Harry, Hermione, and Ron destroy his soul between studying for NEWTs?
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Nov 15, 2014 03:53
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Xachariah posted:I guess I didn't go to the places those predictions were happening then. Sorry. They literally say at the end of Book 6 that they're not planning to return to Hogwarts. Ron specifically tells Harry he has to wait to leave until after the wedding or Ron's mom will kill them in fact. This isn't even 'fan discussion' thing. It is literally something stated in the previous book.
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Nov 15, 2014 04:29
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