Baron von Eevl posted:

Also 1) that was like 50 years ago 2) it was a REALLY lovely Santa. Like, just some drunk kid in an ill-fitting and soiled santa suit.

Pierson posted:

Someone should make a PYF of ludicrous sports traditions, curses and legends because I love poo poo like that and it would be super-cool to hear about esoteric beliefs that other countries have about their national pastimes.

Baron von Eevl posted:

Also 1) that was like 50 years ago 2) it was a REALLY lovely Santa. Like, just some drunk kid in an ill-fitting and soiled santa suit.

Volume posted:

Well now that I know they were throwing batteries at an intoxicated child it's ok.

Mr. Lobe posted:

Always bet on gay skeleton.

Stroop There It Is posted:

Do straight skeletons even exist?

pippy posted:

They do but they're in the closet.

A Kpro posted:

One GiP dickbook, ready for delivery

http://i.imgur.com/JHGCWbf.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/AlBOcMJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/HvihTh1.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Qwc4hFW.jpg

IslamoNazi posted:

Chichevache posted:

The Eagles are literally the only team in the NFL with a statistically demonstrable home field disadvantage. That is how terrible Eagles fans are.

kdrudy posted:

I like that they appear to have built a ramp to launch themselves directly into Superman's crotch.

Countblanc posted:

This thread is so informative, I can't wait until I finally have sex/buy a board game

Chichevache posted:

The Eagles are literally the only team in the NFL with a statistically demonstrable home field disadvantage. That is how terrible Eagles fans are.

Syd Midnight posted:

Context: OP of the A/T about prison life asked people to send stuff to one of his prison bros to help them pass the time so a GiP offered to send a homemade book of dick drawings. GiP knows how large groups of cloistered, frustrated, incredibly bored men keep themselves entertained, and know that he'll love it and be sticking it in his fiends faces and showing it off to the guards and talk someone into getting a tattoo of one and it'll be the funniest drat thing they've seen all week.

So add that to the list of Goon Success Stories!

Syd Midnight posted:

Context: OP of the A/T about prison life asked people to send stuff to one of his prison bros to help them pass the time so a GiP offered to send a homemade book of dick drawings. GiP knows how large groups of cloistered, frustrated, incredibly bored men keep themselves entertained, and know that he'll love it and be sticking it in his fiends faces and showing it off to the guards and talk someone into getting a tattoo of one and it'll be the funniest drat thing they've seen all week.

So add that to the list of Goon Success Stories!

Rough Lobster posted:

Which thread? There's a few prison ones.

Doom Rooster posted:

Chichevache posted:

The Eagles are literally the only team in the NFL with a statistically demonstrable home field disadvantage. That is how terrible Eagles fans are.

Phrasing posted:

I survived by not being inside the buildings.

Zombies' Downfall posted:

much has been made of the fact that both goofy and pluto are depicted as dogs, but are treated differently and given different levels of respect and personal agency by the other characters

this is because pluto is a "field friend of the family" and goofy is a "house friend of the family"

7777777 posted:

(at the bank trying to get my loan re-financed)
Me: Hello Mr. Lebowitz...
Jew: (Snarling, Hissing) RAAAAA!!!
Me: I was wondering about reconfiguring my interest rate..
Jew: (Breathing Fire, Kneading the Ground with it's Talons)
Me: I have some Money here...
Jew: YesSSSsSSSssss..

Say Nothing posted:

ReidRansom posted:

It's got the taste you can't resist.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

I could really go for some surprise soda right about now.

Or premeditated pop, if you're from one those places.

Screaming Idiot posted:

Hot dogs are best eaten raw on a piece of crumbly stale bread with tap water to wash it down.

Or so I've convinced myself.

Tiberius Thyben posted:

You didn't have to redeem your free Doobie Dog.

anchoress posted:

something awful is probably the only place you could make a joke about living in a closet under the stairs and accidentally offend a guy who grew up living in a closet under the stairs

Spanish Manlove posted:

Machai posted:

Harry Potter is a goon?

virtualboyCOLOR posted:

Black Flag is the only good Asscreed game. It also is a really good game in general.

Bro Dad posted:

HOW TO FIX YOUR SETTINGS ON PC:

Don't buy Unity

Ishamael posted:

mind the walrus posted:

Earthbound? I doubt it. Especially back in the 90s before Youtube made footage easily available and Vidya was still almost the exclusive province of children and nerrrrrrrds who hadn't grown up yet. JRPGs are pretty archaic and unintuitive, Earthbound doesn't really get going until like Threed, and a lot of the charm comes from talking to every single NPC you can find, so something tells me Shultz wouldn't have had the patience to actually play it.

Sadly lamenting the fact that Charles Schultz, author of Peanuts, who was born in 1922, wouldn't have had the patience to play a series of obscure japanese video games, is one of the weirdest goddamn things I have ever heard.

zimboe posted:

SS Africa is not really horrible- that's the way humans have lived for most of our existence.
It is only in contrast with prosperous cultures that it seems so.

Miserable, cold, sick, perpetually on the brink of starvation,most of our children dying, always at the risk of predators (of whatever species- including other humans).
Only under such misery does the Hand of Darwin harden and strengthen us.*

Cruel but true.
So go complain to God.

* Therefore prosperity weakens us and will lead to our failure.
Refute my reasoning.

How else do you explain such phenomena as Honey Boo-Boo? There's a genetic cull candidate for you.
...
Give it twenty centuries after Western culture has withered and died, and Africans will be the new improved Man: producing the New Human Renaissance. They will go to the stars.

Darwin never lies.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

ElGroucho posted:

Who is Amanda Palmer?

The kind of girl who marries Neil Gaiman, that's who

mysterious frankie posted:

If you own more than three Legendary Pink Dots albums on vinyl (and just from looking at him I assume he does) then a person with borderline personality disorder basically has a magnet in their genitals that will drag you kicking and screaming out of any healthy living arrangement and right into the car parked under a bridge that they've been hunkered down in.

spooky girlfriend posted:

lol wow. I can see this happening though, because Neil Gaiman is a goth and goths have poo poo taste in everything.

mookface posted:

Yeah that's the thing about goths they can be nice and cool intelligent people that somehow manage to find a way to be retarded in a lot of ways

Twitch posted:

I hate to get solipsistic, but I'm pretty sure Amanda Palmer has never actually recorded any music, and Dresden Dolls is just a fake band that teenagers say they listen to so they can sound arty.

Harime Nui posted:

She gave a TED talk about how she was a literal couch surfing mooch but it was an enriching experience to eat out of the fridge of some poor Mexican people for real

ElGroucho posted:

I've been a poor Mexican boy

Let me tell you, the rooms may suck, the cars won't start, the dogs are sick and the heat doesn't work

But goddamnit, that fridge is full

Jombo posted:

I was reminded of this by the flying barbie into fireplace gif so...

This is pre-everyone having a camera phone schadenfreude so imagination is required.

One year back in the 80's this was the tickle-me-elmo of toys:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJa6eUpxNyM

and all us 6 year olds were cracking wood everytime the ad came on tv during tmnt or some poo poo.

Anyway one of my good friends has a birthday the day after mine, and at his party he gets a TYPHOON! the most kickingest raddest piece of awesome the 1980s has to offer. Being quite poor myself I'd received socks or some poo poo for my birthday the day before and I must admit I was more than a little jealous.

Being the cutting edge of technology in an amazing age where calculator watches were replacing C64s as the shining example of human technological prowess the TYPHOON! came with rechargeable batteries instead of those old disposable D cells used by stoneage remote controlled vehicles. So the TYPHOON! goes straight from box to the charger while everyone dances around giddy with excitement about the torrent of fun about to be unleashed. After everyone couldn't hold it in any longer (probably 10 mins) the birthday boy rips the TYPHOON! from the charger and we all run straight to the best and only place to test out a toy as amazing as the TYPHOON! - the closest dam (we were on a farm you see). The birthday boy starts up the amazing machine and it really works! just like on the commercial! So straight out onto the water it goes, tearing around like a jesus boat walking on water, straight to the furthest part from the shore... when we start to hear the little electric motors spluttering - no longer did that nice high pitched whirr emanate from the fans. The astounding impatience we had displayed made us unworthy of the machine, and great forces were about to punish us for our hubris. Befitting its name and reputation the TYPHOON! appeared to put up a valiant struggle against the murky brown water as everyone on the shore stared on in silence, but after around 15 seconds and the last of the air leaking from it's skirt the machine disappeared below the surface along with its dead flat battery, as if it was just too perfect and not meant for this world. 30 seconds to bathe in its glow from start to finish were all we were afforded.

Amazingly my jealousy was gone - completely replaced by the sadness the this beautiful machine was gone, probably the only one for hundreds of kilometres in any direction, and never to brighten up this forgotten and neglected part of the Australian outback ever again.

Of course immediate petition was made to the adults in the area - surely something could be done. But the metre thick, sticky mud all around the dam made it a veritable death trap. The remainder of the party was merely the slow realisation over several hours that the TYPHOON! was really gone... but had we ever really had it? Were we delusional and only hallucinated the events due to overwhelming marketing and sugary food? No, the empty box and charger remained - as a physical reminder of the disaster that had just happened.

5 months later it was the height of summer, and the dam in question dried enough for the machine to be recovered. It was a shell of it's former self, as if all the fun and 80's style kickin' rad had vanished - leaving behind only a mud crusted piece of plastic.

Spanish Manlove posted:

TheModernAmerican posted:

Yes he turns out ok and it's literally the most unrealistic thing that happens in a series where a tree eats a flying broom.

If y'all want I can detail how similar my rearing was with Harry's and then regale you with tales of how I was incapable of talking with strangers until I was 14.

And thanks for getting super pedantic about how much time he spends in a closet. Guess how much loving time a 10 year old should spend locked in a closet because it's way less than you loving thing you giant mother loving piece of human garbage how are you not loving banned for the poo poo you're pulling here because that's loving twice now you've made break down crying you pile of poo poo you should be ashamed of yourself.

Big Anime Fan Here posted:

No dude, I don't get The New York Times. I get a smaller, more unbiased paper. It's called "The New York Times Are loving Fags" and it covers all the same issues but also has stories about how Dean Baquet takes huge diarrhea dumps from ethnic food and they smell so bad that his wife goes to a friends house. You could say it's got more journalistic integrity, I suppose.

Shwqa posted:

In the middle of a fight with your partner? Just belittle them! If they roll over and take it, then marry them!

Karma Monkey posted:

Geesh, first the poo poo derail and now a lovely attitude. Lighten up, man.

Evilreaver posted:

*Hands you a cape* Now you're super mad!!

Daedra posted:

without mexico i would have never seen a video of a man beheaded with a chainsaw

pentyne posted:

For posterity

client posted:

I really appreciate how this website is home to the most owned people on the planet

EdibleBodyParts posted:

Slaves?

pentyne posted:

For posterity