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I like how early on, many of these were sarcastic and dismissive but now people are pretty much writing straight fan-fiction. Also, this thread makes me want to go and watch Doctor Who.
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Nov 25, 2014 21:36
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I wish there was an episode where dr who goes back in time to Ferguson and switches Mike Brown with Bill Cosby ensuring that the white cop and the rapist both get the death penalty and racism is finally defeated thanks to white alien intervention Makes u think
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Nov 25, 2014 21:45
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Tace Vim posted:The Brown Star This needs more attention. Automatic Slim fucked around with this message at 22:14 on Nov 25, 2014 |
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Nov 25, 2014 21:57
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glowing-fish posted:I like how early on, many of these were sarcastic and dismissive but now people are pretty much writing straight fan-fiction. next episode forums poster glowing-fish gets smashed by an angry time-monster, the doctor flies by in his time machine or whatever and he's like "meh"
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Nov 25, 2014 22:55
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The final episode The Doctor makes a visit to the BBC headquarters circa 1953 to pitch the idea for a new series about a guy named Doctor Who. The bigwigs don't think people will go for it and insist on adding a granddaughter, the Doctor agrees but assures them "Oh people will go for it all right." He then makes a shushing motion into the camera followed by an exaggerated wink. The camera stays on the doctor for another 30 seconds after he has finished the wink. He clears his throat once or twice and scratches the back of his neck before the music plays.
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Nov 26, 2014 00:12
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Truth Be Told The Doctor wakes up and notices that he is in an uknown location. He is alone and tired, so tired. The Doctor leaves the room and is immediately spotted by a Dalek, who finally mananges to exterminate the enemy. The Dalek says: "Wake up Brits, the government is screwing you over. You deserve a better future". [the end]
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Nov 26, 2014 00:40
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Dr Sex Pistols
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Nov 26, 2014 01:03
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planet of the apes the doctor visits india in the 1800s to observe a famine inflicted on the natives by the british government. his female assistant feels bad about their plight, but still wishes that the empire was still around because of her fervent nationalism. a rubbery monster with an oddly german accent stalks the doctor, seeking to steal his phone box, but then is killed during a long and boring ramble by the attractive main character a mind forever lawyering the dr is sued by an interstellar space galaxy lawyer for falsely representing himself as a doctor despite having no such doctorate. the protagonist responds by shrugging, grinning and winking repeatedly for three minutes before rambling and making gestures. his bumbling sidekick is attractive, the issue is resolved by using the lightsaber yelling, coughing the doctor travels back to the great london smog of '52, instantly killing his sidekick when she inhales enough pollution to cause aspyxiation. there's a spooky lump with dark eyes or something, violence ensues, a new sidekick is found with smaller, but shapelier, breasts
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Nov 26, 2014 01:16
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gnarlyhotep posted:Dr Sex Pistols
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Nov 26, 2014 01:20
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Doctor Whom The Doctor and Clara discover that spelling and grammar errors are actually an alien being that spreads itself memetically. Upon taking the time to read the internet for the first time, the Doctor alternates between being disgusted with humans and marveling at them--throwing in a speech about how humans shouldn't build a technology whose possibilities they don't fully understand. In the end the day is saved by a child who is mysteriously immune to the alien--it turns out he's illiterate, and the Doctor gives his parents a stern lecture about how people are never illiterate for a reason and this was evolution's defense mechanism against the aliens. Fear Itself In Stephen Moffat's farewell episode, the Doctor and Clara find out that every childhood fear that Moffat hasn't tackled yet, including but not limited to clowns, mirrors, and strangers, are actually aliens/prisons for aliens/related to aliens in some manner. Children creepily sing a mash-up of every nursery rhyme that hasn't been used yet, as all of the monsters--by pure happenstance--decide to attack at the same time. Surrounded by all the creatures--each one repeatedly chanting an innocuous catchphrase (eg: "hyuk hyuk", "let me in", "hello there"), the Doctor drives them all away by simply reminding them that he's the Doctor and using the sonic screwdriver on something. Alex Kingston (River Song) guest stars.
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Nov 26, 2014 03:44
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glowing-fish posted:I like how early on, many of these were sarcastic and dismissive but now people are pretty much writing straight fan-fiction. The Doctor Went Down to Georgia Act I The Doctor and Clara intend to visit Inca Peru on a lark, but something goes haywire with the time circuits and the readings indicate Atlanta, Georgia, USA, circa 1864. September 29, midnight. The Doctor and Clara exit and find the TARDIS is parked next to a modestly large home in downtown Atlanta. He and Clara go around to the front to see who's home and are greeted by cocked rifles. Two men in grey uniforms demand to know who they are and why they're past curfew. Thinking quick, the Doctor identifies himself as an envoy from Her Majesty the Queen Victoria and he and Clara are quickly escorted inside. At the dinner table he finds an imposing figure (even seated) engrossed in reading maps by lamplight. His hair is neatly combed back and his beard spans the length of his torso. By his side is a man with bronzed skin, hair neatly combed to the side, with a short full beard that fans out from him chin. "Lieutenant General Hood," the Doctor says as cordially as he can manage. The figure raises his head from the maps. "I an here on behalf of Her Majesty Victoria." The man's eyes widen as he spies the Doctor's psychic paper. At the sight of Clara, both men rise, and bow to her in recognition. Hood introduces Lietenant General William Hardee. "Do you have news!?" bellows the bearded man. "Are the British sending supplies?" "We are here, uh, to observe ... tell me ... how is the war going?" With that, Lieutenant Hood takes the Doctor to the maps. Some Southern women appear, almost out of nowhere, to shoo Clara out of the room so she can get into proper attire. Hood explains that the war is going badly, but is beginning to turn. The Union has been held at the Chattahoochee River and Atlanta is safe. Him and General Hardee are planning Hardee's assault on the Union flank near a strategically important railroad. He's sending a large contingent of his force, despite Hardee's worries this might leave Atlanta exposed. The Doctor furrows his brow, but continues with the general. The evening wears on and Hood is splendidly entertained with the Doctor's company. The Doctor and Clara are now alone with Hood and bidding the cavalry commander goodnight. Hood has Clara's hand at they make their parting and the Doctor shouts "Grab his hand!!" Clara, listening to the Doctor for once, grips Hood's right hand as the Doctor throws an apple at his face. Hood raises his left hand to deflect the apple and the Doctor shouts, "Ah HA! The real John Bell Hood had his left arm wounded at the battle of Gettysburg." The Doctor glares into the man's eyes and asks, "Who are you?" Just then, a Dalek sensor creeps out of Hood's forehead and the Doctor and Clara run from the house into the streets of old Atlanta. Once they run far enough to feel safe, the Doctor turns to Clara and exclaims, "That is NOT John Bell Hood." He then explains that, by this point in the Atlanta campaign, the North had already crossed the Chattahoochee River. Hood is supposed to send only part of Hardee's force to the Macon & Western Railroad line into Atlanta and is repulsed by Sherman and his army. "Why would the Daleks give a drat about the American Civil War?" Act II The Doctor then pops into a billiard hall with Clara and befriends some Southerners. Everyone feels it's a scandal that Clara is there. The Doctor makes the acquaintence of a Southerner who claims to have seen strange lights deep in the swamp, though everyone believes he was out of his mind on corn liquor (he was). In the middle of the night, the Doctor, Clara, and colorful, half-drunk Southerner named Zeke make off for the swamp on horseback. Once they reach the swamp, the Doctor is able to pusuade some locals to let them borrow a small row boat. The group comes upon the strange lights and, of course, it's a Dalek encampment. And, of course, Clara and the Doctor are captured. Zeke is able to evade capture by being the first to dive off the boat. While in Dalek custody, the Doctor learns that this group of Daleks have been separated from their company in the Time War. They are now stranded in this corner of space and time and have decided to aid the Confederacy for some contrived reasons which involve them absolutely needing to be the "bad guys" in pretty much any conflict. Just as the Daleks are ready to execute the Doctor, Zeke comes hopping into the control room on one leg holding a lit stick of dynamite. "drat gator got my leg, Doc, but I can kick rear end with the other." Zeke is shot by a Dalek and falls at the foot of a console. The dynamite explodes and drops the force fields restraining the Doctor and Clara, who make a hasty escape. Having evaded the Daleks just temporarily, the Doctor quickly pushes some buttons on a command console, points his screwdriver at it, and deactivates all of the Daleks (leaving the organic things inside to die, right? oh well). The Confederate soldiers (being inhabited by Daleks) on the south end of the Chattahoochee River all collapse. John Bell Hood regains consciousness (the Daleks hadn't totally converted him yet), and summons Hardee to change his plans. He'll only take two corps to secure the Macon & Western Railroad depot. Act III The Doctor and Clara are loping toward the rising sun on horseback. In the distance, Clara can make out a pillar of smoke over Atlanta. As the get closer, they see that the entire city is in flames. "Doctor, it's horrible." "Yes, Clara. But it's as it should be." Clara is taken aback by his supposed callousness. "All wars, Clara, beg for conclusion. We should be thankful that this war has one." Riding into Atlanta, the Doctor and Clara are stopped by Union soldiers and ordered to dismount. As they approach, a Southern Unionist shouts, "That's him! That's the British Diplomat!" Clara and the Doctor are then led and the prodding of bayonets to man inspecting a smoking blue box. "Pardon, me, sir, that's actually mine, you see-" "What is it?" "Uhm ... a statue ... of Cincinnatus. For Lieutenant General Hood." The TARDIS, having heard the Doctor, engages the holographic matrix. The Doctor, opening the door, only reveals a bed of straw and a statue of Cincinnatus at his plow. "So you're the diplomat, eh?" The words were sharp and acerbic. The man who spoke them turned from the blue box to face the Doctor. His eyes were a cold, piercing blue - filled with anger and cynicism - sitting below a sharp brow and above ruddy worn cheeks. The man stood not very tall, but certainly sure-footed. He had a smattering of discheveled, thinning, red hair and a full red beard. He was pissed. "How long, sir, must our Republic endure before your monarch drops her enmity of us? How many travails must our polity face before your Parliament realizes that we shall never yeild this continent? Are the ashes around you not proof enough of our resolve? Is a free and self-governed nation such an anathema to your Queen and government that they would forsake their conscience and ally themselves with slave owners!?" As he speaks, the man grows angrier and drops his civility. He slowly brings his burning eyes ever closer to the Doctors face and spits, "Where, sir, I ask you, is this vaunted British honor I've heard so much about?" The Doctor, visibly sickened by the vapor of whiskey on the man's breath, will nevertheless not be intimidated. "I have honor enough to stay sober while the sun is up." "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" With that, William Tecumseh Sherman lands a haymaker squarely in the Doctor's mouth, sending the Timelord flat on his rear end in front of the TARDIS. A large "HURRAH!" echoes from the retinue of Union soldiers watching the scene. When the Doctor comes to, Sherman is already trudging off to see to other business. The Doctor lays on the ground a minute, rubbing his chin in stunned amusement ... and pride? Dicere fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Nov 26, 2014 |
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Nov 26, 2014 04:00
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Attitude Indicator posted:The Doctor Donald Duck The Doctor Donald Duck (1948): Fifteen Years before the first episode of Doctor Who, Donald Duck ran afoul of an eccentric man with a magical police box. While sightseeing in London, Donald irritates various passers-by by behaving like a typical obnoxious tourist. There are a few visual gags of him pestering a member of the King's guard and remarking that Big Ben is not keeping proper time (when Big Ben chimes, he glances at his own watch and clucks his tongue). During a lull in the tomfoolery, he reaches into his breast pocket and removes a picture of Daisy Duck, the back of which bears her admonition that he is to call her "or else!" Donald grumbles about pushy women but goes looking for a phone booth. He doesn't have to look far, because there is a Police Box on the corner ("Ah ha! A telephone booth!" remarks Donald). Donald throws open the doors of the phone booth only to discover it is already occupied by a cartoon caricature of someone strongly resembling Tom Baker (or possibly a dark-haired Harpo Marx). The unnamed man (hereafter referred to here as "The Doctor" though never identified during the short) exclaims "Oi! Occupied, mate!" slamming the door shut and cutting Donald off mid apology. Donald grumbles but understands the polite thing to do is wait. It only takes him a few seconds to become impatient, however, and soon he is glancing at his watch and grumbling. After a few more seconds, he loses all patience and starts knocking furiously on the door while ranting incoherently. The Doctor opens the door to see what all the fuss is about but Donald isn't paying attention and keeps knocking right on The Doctor's face for a couple seconds before stopping in alarm. The Doctor is now quite put out. He slams the door of the phone box again, grumbling about Americans. Donald gets really mad and backs up for a charge at the door with the intent to break it down. Imagine his surprise when the Police Box fades from sight and he goes sailing straight into a lamppost! Donald shakes off his daze and searches the empty space for the box, feeling around as if it is merely invisible. He gives up and turns to leave when he slams right into the box again! He flips out and hurls threats at the box and promises grievous bodily harm to The Doctor while doing this thing. Things escalate and The Doctor ends up pranking Donald mercilessly for the remaining three minutes of the short, culminating with Donald dressed up like a King's guard (actually a bucket on his head, red paint on his sailor suit and chips stuffed in his mouth to resemble crooked British teeth) while American tourists laugh at him and take photos.
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Nov 26, 2014 04:05
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the doctor something something alien graves the doctor and his assistant aliens??? it turns out that the REAL aliens threatening england are the muslims, the doctor insults a mans curry, peg communicates entirely in interjections and gasps, where can a bloke get some dib dabs?
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Nov 26, 2014 04:33
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Once, Twice, Three Times The Doctor While Clara is busy at her school teacher job in England, a rogue Cyberman creates a time bubble that disrupts the Tardis en route to pick up Clara, and splits it in to three Tardises... and three Doctors! However, only one is the real Doctor, and it is up to Clara to figure out "who is Who". The first Doctor urges Clara to come with him, as only he can save her from the Cyberman! The second Doctor explains that he needs Clara's help to not only save her, but the entire world! The third Doctor is running around in circles in his Tardis hollering like an idiot, turning random dials and knobs, flipping every switch he sees, and pointing his Sonic Screwdriver at any drat thing in front of him hoping it will do something. Clara immediately knows the third Doctor is the real Doctor and goes with him to defeat the Cyberman that got them into this mess in the first place. The Doctor uses his Sonic Screwdriver on the Cyberman, sending him the opposite way through the time bubble, turning him into "negative three Cybermen" and wiping him from existence. Our heroes smile knowingly at each other then fly off in the Tardis for more adventures in time and space. What happened to the other Doctors is never explained. Twenty Four fucked around with this message at 07:36 on Nov 26, 2014 |
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Nov 26, 2014 07:09
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Tidying Up The Doctor and Clara arrive in a small town where they meet a slightly smug hotel manager (Matt Berry) who claims to work for the man who owns the patent on DNA, invented light and thought. The Doctor and Clara are in the presence of an agent of God, who is in need of a good Doctor. The Agent of God explains that all of time and space was a pretty big project, but a rush job, comparing it to the ET video game. "You ever play that game ET on that old Atari?". "No..." "Do you want to?" "Um..." "Keep in mind, An Agent of GOD HIMSELF is inviting you to play ET on the Atari 2600. It's already in the system and warmed up." (Cut to Clara hopelessly playing ET on the 2600) As such, time travel exists as a backdoor so the Creator could easily just debug reality in case of a universe crashing error and not have to rebuild everything from scratch. That being said, they've been noticing people ("Like the TIME LORDS!") just abusing that to hack reality. As such, a problem has arisen that requires a 'lesser being' like the Doctor to act as a consulting contractor to correct a few small issues or else they're just going to have to burn down all of creation and start all over again. The Doctor and Clara agree, and The Agent goes back to playing ET. They get back from a series of seemingly unrelated events and the Agent is now playing Pac-Man on the 2600. Congratulating them on a job well done, he starts to change and reveal that they've been tricked. He's really... "Yes, the Devil. Lucifer, I know that." Demonic Matt Berry is really hurt and sad that they didn't let him make his big dramatic reveal. He had such plans like the walls were going to catch fire and the floor was going to turn into lava, and the Clara over there was going to be pulled apart by a murder of crows because it sounds cool to describe something like that. But what gave him away, how did the Doctor figure out it? "Simple. I HAVE played ET on the Atari 2600, and only the Devil himself would insist on inflicting it on some innocent soul!" Demonic Matt Berry golf claps, admits defeat since the Doctor obviously wouldn't have performed his requested tasks, but there is no way he's letting the pair get away. The Doctor corrects him: He did perform the tasks. However, he did a rubbish job at it and look, the REAL Agents of God have been attracted to his location and want to see what the big deal is. Demonic Matt Berry is chided by the real Agents (who come off like surly cops, also played by Matt Berry) for his antics at trying to prank God on his birthday by adding an 8th day to the week and that the Almighty might let this sort of stuff slide because they have history, his ex-coworkers aren't so casual about it. The Doctor and Clara ask if they're good to leave and surprise the Agents who had completely ignored them and are quite annoyed that they're still standing around like a pair of stupid ants on the sidewalk and are being pretty presumptuous to be eavesdropping on matters that don't concern them. "Why don't you two get in that time box of yours, just take this as a verbal warning, and scram!" "That's right there, little lady. You and your grandpa better shove off!" Clara and the Doctor depart to the sound of the Cop Matt Berrys taking away his Atari 2600 and Demonic Matt Berry whining how they can't do that, he needs it for his job.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:02
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I'll give it a go, that being said I just watched a Dr Who Christmas special and I'm pretty sure nothing I write could be worse than what I just experienced. Doctor, we have a problem The Doctor and Clara go to watch Neil Armstrong be launched into space. Using his psychic paper they get to witness the hectic activity in Houston first hand, Clara gets more and more excited and the Doctor craps on about more impressive instances of human space travel yet to come. The Doctor notices some of the workers acting strangely when he asks them how they feel about being a part of history, they seem devoid of emotion and almost robot like. He decides to explore a bit more of the facility before blast off. Clara, worried the Doctor is going to miss the show, decides to go and look for him. The background noise of frantic activity fades as Clara walks down an inexplicably dimly lit hallway, ominous dark music begins to play. She spots something out of the corner of her eye, startling her. For a few seconds she and the audience are lulled into a false sense of security, thinking it was nothing, but then she is confronted by a spooky space-ghost. The Doctor is using his sonic screwdriver on an irrelevant panel of machinery in a room when he hears Clara screaming and run past, he rushes to join her, exchanging hilarious dialogue inappropriate to their current situation "Why are we running?" etc. The Doctor eventually sees what they are running from and agrees that legging it is the best option. Presumably due to the alien spooky-ghost invasion, security is pretty lax, and the two inadvertently find their way onto the space craft (Astronauts do their slow walk in and once inside shows the Doctor and Clara frantically looking over their shoulder and running along the platform, jumping inside the closing door). Whew. Until the room starts shaking. "Doctor, where are we?" "Oh no, no, no, no, no! This is not good!". They manage to buckle down and nobody dies as they jump through the atmosphere. They approach the cockpit and reveal themselves to the astronauts, who are dumbfounded "Houston..." Soon they realize they are not alone in the rocket, as the crew reports inexplicable problems occurring - someones messing with something that has no business being messed with. The Doctor and Clara fly around in zero G while enjoying the view, until they find mr. spooky ghost. Spooky ghost comes in peace, and it turns out they helped the humans (by temporarily possessing them and using their superior intellect to advance the space program) in order to escape back into space, where they travel aimlessly in packs. Throw in a sob story about how they became stranded on Earth. So the doctor goes and convinces the astronauts that they have to open the airlock, they agree after a heartwarming passionate speech from the Doctor about alien equal rights, and the spooky ghosts (most of whom were hiding off screen in the spaceship) fly out to space where they belong. Mr spooky ghost turns and looks at the doctor as he leaves and the Doctor stares stoically out into the galaxy. The Doctor summons the Tardis and wishes good luck to Neil and whoever else the gently caress went with Neil Armstrong to the moon. Neil is nervous about what he is going to say, as it will be broadcast around the world. Clara recommends using the famous line and he says something like "Hey, that's pretty good!" The Doctor and Clara board the Tardis and bounce, with the Doctor finishing the show with "If you thought that was impressive, wait til I show you the first ship to fly to pluto!"
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Nov 26, 2014 15:07
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JediTalentAgent posted:Matt Berry Matt Berry should be in every episode (and probably every TV show)
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Nov 26, 2014 17:16
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Goldmined The Doctod and Clara arrive in London in 2550 (which is exactly the same as it is now) and discover that various people, famous people in particular, are vanishing. The disappearances are eventually linked to a tower in central London which lights up each time people disappear. The Doctor goes to the tower only to disappear as the tower lights up again. The doctor finds himself in a version of London where buildings are gold and white, and the sky is a faint yellow. All of the famous people who had gone missing are here. He is told by one person that they are being watched, and sure enough, the doctor looks up and sees the visage of a bearded alien looking down from high in the sky. Clara vanishes as she searches for the doctor, but unlike the doctor, she ends up in an old, rotting version of London where the skies are green and everything smells like poo poo. She sees many of the people who had disappeared, but only the ones that nobody liked. The doctor is able to meet one of the bearded aliens, who explains that he is in the Goldmine, where everything that the aliens like most is preserved for their entertainment. They explain that the doctor was voted 5 by many of their kind and thus was taken there. When the doctor asks about Clara, they explain that she was sent to the gas chamber. The plot of this episode is never resolved. The Goat Man The Doctor visits a town where everyone is having nightmares. The nightmares involve a goat man opening a massive portal. Each time the dream occurs, the portal spreads a little bit wider. Clara begins to have the same nightmare as well. The doctor investigates an abandoned church where he finds a statue depicting the same goat-man. The statue is facing away from him. He turns away and hears a noise. When he looks back, the statue has spread its rear end-cheeks slightly. Each time he looks away, the rear end is spread slightly more. Finally, ghost hands reach out of the rear end and grab the town people who are sleeping. The doctor sees that the ghost hands are stealing peoples souls a little bit at a time. He uses his sonic screwdriver on the statue's anus, closing it forever and saving the town. The Skeleton King fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Nov 26, 2014 |
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Nov 26, 2014 23:16
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The Slapstick Dimension the doctor trips on a banana peel, lands hard with his face in a pile of dog dookie, and gets up realizing he has stumbled into an alternate reality people communicate by grunting, belching, farting, and slapping each other. (This becomes the new setting for the rest of all Doctor Who series)
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Nov 27, 2014 00:58
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Doctor Whose Line is It Anyway? The Doctor and Clara wind up on a planet with a comedy based economy. Because all of the sitcoms, romcoms, zomcoms, and everything else have gotten stale (and the stand-up comedians are all dead from lifestyle choices,) improv has suddenly made a comeback. Clara, the Doctor, Drew Carey, and a group of other comedians try their best, but cause global unrest when their efforts fail. The day is saved by Greg Proops smoking a bowl and riffing on how the show used to be better in the 70s when eveything was embarrassingly low budget, but Tom Baker was almost sociopathically aloof. He then somehow segues into a story about the San Francisco Giants and gripes about how unfairly Edward Snowden is being treated. About a quarter of the planet actually get the jokes, so a precariously stratified economy results. Part 1 of this two parter closes with Proops drunkenly shouting "Get Rogan on the phone! I'll fix this poo poo."
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Nov 27, 2014 02:29
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Peter Capaldi is Doctor Who in... Destroy All Doctors!
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Nov 27, 2014 02:44
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Millions of Crows posted:The Shitheel Syndrome Wealthy land developer Kovon "Hack and Slash" Blash lives in the ultimate private residence: a space station shaped like an icosahedron that is completely self contained. Nothing from the universe outside is meant to intrude on its owner's privacy. It reflects all forms of wireless communication, its defense systems could fend off a Dalek armada and are programmed to fire on any and all approaching objects without question. There is only one entrance and it was sealed after Kovon stepped inside, bidding farewell to the universe forever. Occasionally Kovon makes cryptic references to the outside universe in conversation with his servants, but they don't understand. When they ask, he tells them "Nevermind, just a fantasy..." The servants there were all grown in vats and have never seen nor even heard of a universe outside the walls of the station. Naturally, Kovon is shocked and incensed when The Doctor and Clara intrude on his privacy by materializing the TARDIS in his foyer! He instructs his creepy butler to get rid of them. Of course, they can't be allowed to leave (because that would count as a form of contact with the outside world, which Kovon abhors). The butler stalks the pair all over the station, popping up behind them no matter how far or fast they run. All the while, The Doctor wonders what could have driven Kovon to isolate himself in such a way. Eventually they're chased right into Kovon's private chambers. Kovon screams in distress "you've killed me, you've killed me!" before falling down stone dead. It turns out Kovon suffered from "Shitheel Syndrome" (pronounced "Shith-eel") a form of agoraphobia so pronounced that even acknowledging the existence of the outside world is fatal. Kovon had kept it under control prior to building his isolated home through the use of special medication, but, ironically, his land development company burned down the only rainforest in the universe where one of the medicine's crucial ingredients could be found, cutting off his supply and sealing his fate. The Doctor clucks his tongue at the irony and opens the door to the outside, releasing the servants into the big, bold universe they never knew existed.
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Nov 27, 2014 03:25
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I Dream of Genesis: The Doctor and Clara come across an oil lamp. Clara exclaims it's like a magic lamp. She gives it a rub and out comes a genie who can grant one wish. The Doctor warns it's likely an alien of some sort but Clara insists there's no harm, especially if she makes a small wish. She wishes for a new dress and she gets it and the genie immediately disappears into a mist that envelops Clara. With nothing out of the ordinary, Clara chides the Doctor for being overly cautious, but he feels uncertain about it. His sonic screwdriver can't detect anything abnormal. A few days later Clara begins to have morning sickness and mood swings. The Doctor checks his sonic again and Clara is pregnant! The genie was an alien that procreates by granting wishes and now she is pregnant. She will give birth in a month if his readings are correct. Clara feels violated and wants to abort the genie baby but the Doctor insists that after all it has done for her, she should consider carrying it to term. Convinced, Clara and the Doctor make awkward preparations for a baby they know nothing about. One month later to the day, Clara feels nauseous and spasms of pain wrack her body. The Doctor lays her in a bed in the TARDIS, when she gives out an enormous belch. A purple mist wafts from her mouth and condenses into the form of a smiling baby. The two of them marvel at the miracle of life. It disappears into the ether, and the Doctor explains it must have gone off to find a new lamp to live in (he pats her belly as he says this). The Doctor then gives a speech about the sanctity of life and everybody conveniently forgets that Clara basically got raped by a space genie.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:16
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Internment Camp Some children are sick with a mysterious disease that baffles science. The Doctor appears and the disease appears to be spreading to older and older people. The government are having a series of progressively more evil meetings about what to do about the sick children. They put them in a quarantine camp, and plan to push them into lava if a cure isn't found by the end of the week. The Doctor & friends discover that pantomime is in fact an ancient alien ritual handed down to humans after humanity was accidentally infected by a genetic virus that can only be suppressed by weapons-grade levels of camp. The Doctor & friends have to put on a Panto for the children before the evil government can push them into the lava. There is an extremely gay alien, lots of masturbatory theatre references and a sontaran in drag. The Heart Beats Its Wife In the future a new form of blood is invented, Blood 2.0. It makes people healthier, faster, stronger, live longer. It seems too good to be true, because it is. Everyone is having their blood replaced. But the Doctor uncovers the horrifying secret behind Blood 2.0: it's made out of the living cum of an endangered alien species. They keep the aliens in an evil shed, hitting them with sticks and jacking them off. Worst of all, it turns out the female of the alien species is heading towards the planet, which will cause all the blood 2.0 to burst out of everyone's veins to try and fertilize the female in low-earth orbit. The Doctor ambushes the ceo of Blood Inc at a press conference, and reveals the truth. The CEO claims there is no problem at all, but at that point all the alien jizz explodes from his eyes and mouth and flies into the sky. There is hamhanded criticism of capitalism and corporate greed.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:44
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I haven't been this impressed w/ SA for a while! This thread deserves to be showcased on the front page. Garbage Day, are you here?
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Nov 27, 2014 09:10
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Treasure Dump The Doctor and Clara set about to solve a decade's old treasure hunt with clues from a book by Byron Preiss. However, when the pair get sick and tired of the overly complicated puzzles and finding that every single treasure location has long since been destroyed and paved over by freeways and malls, they just go back in time to the 1980s and dig them up a few minutes after Preiss buried them.
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Nov 27, 2014 09:44
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gnarlyhotep posted:Matt Berry should be in every episode (and probably every TV show) Garth Marenghi's Doctor Whoplace
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Nov 27, 2014 11:11
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Doctor All the Way The Doctor and his new companion Sinbad absolutely must have the hottest kids toy of the holiday season but are continually outsmarted by another festive shopper. Hijinks ensue. Butcher Baker Doctor The Doctor and companion have arrived in Alaska in the mid 1970s and must stop a serial killer from kidnapping and hunting prostitutes in the wilderness. Hijinks ensue. Stress Beacon The Tardis stops mid voyage and refuses to move. The Doctor and companion slowly become infuriated with each other's company until The Doctor draws a dividing line on the floor to permanently separate their existence. The Doctor and companion carefully explore and catalog every chamber of the Tardis in this exciting four part episode.
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Nov 27, 2014 11:48
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Alan Smithee posted:Garth Marenghi's Doctor Whoplace Doctplace. "In 1995, the BBC approached the humble yours-truly to revive and revitalize the moribund classic series, Doctor Who. "As a person who vocally hated Doctor Who and even wrote an unpublished guest-editorial for Starlog Magazine in 1986 that described the show as bastion for pedophiles, I was at first surprised the BBC would consider me, the show's most vocal critic, their 3rd choice for revolutionizing this iconic character. "Obviously, they knew my keen outsider insight on the character, as well as my successful forays into time-traveling hard science fiction with books such as, "The Time Car" and "Time Car 2: The Return Of The Time Car", and my justified disgust of the entire series up to that point was the key in saving the franchise. "However, with anything involving the BBC, we were given no budget to work with except the priceless extent of my imagination, our production doomed from the start by the henpecked BBC accountants and their cronies. To save what little funds we had, I took it upon myself to write, direct and star in the new series so that we could put the money into the episodes themselves. I also brought with me a trusted and talented team of actors and effects magicians to set about to finally make a Doctor Who the audience deserved. "However, this vision would be unseen by that audience for almost 20 years. We had been at various stages of production on several episodes before the BBC pulled the plug on the project so they could do a commercialized revival for the Americans and after a single viewing for the network heads they proceeded file a legal order forbidding anyone involved from the production from releasing any notes, footage, scripts, plots or photos of the production, or even discussing the episodes. All materials the BBC didn't destroy like Nazis was locked away in their vaults, except for episodes that were lost by having the tapes recorded over. "I was done with Doctor Who, and a very large part of me was glad. Trying to breathe life into that dead horse was creatively draining and it had taken me away from writing my own time travel stories. From there, I instantly went back to my notes for the popular Time Car book series that I'd written years earlier to produce more books like "Time Car 6: The Clocktor", "The Clocktor Returns: A Time Car Novel" and "The Clocktor 2: Darexes Attack Earth.", among others. "But years passed, the talk of my unaired Doctor Who series had went from quiet whispers to overwhelming audience demand to see the show they were denied 20 years earlier. Rewatching them now, I see that despite the interference of the BBC and being denying anything close to a serviceable budget, there is a clear groundbreaking vision that still comes through that not only likely influenced how every science fiction show that has come after it by sheer word of mouth, but remains unreplicated by any show since. "Now, thanks to overwhelming fan interest in long-thought-lost Doctor Who episodes, I and the BBC are proud to present you with Garth Marenghi's Doctor Who, with commentary and interviews from myself, my publisher Dean Learner, and others. So, without further delay, Garth Marenghi's Doctor Who... "Oh, by the way, keep a close eye out for a special appearance from a familiar face or two you might have seen before in another little show of mine... Enjoy."
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Nov 27, 2014 12:05
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Doctor You The BBC collected a bunch of clips of people LARPING Doctor Who. The first 40 minutes is awkward enough but the rest of the episode takes a sharp left when we are then shown clips of the BBC delivering cease and desist notices to all participants.
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Nov 27, 2014 12:06
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JediTalentAgent posted:Doctplace. 
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Nov 27, 2014 15:15
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13/f/cali posted:Doctor You Nice.
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Nov 27, 2014 18:34
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The Dreidel War: Part I: Dr. Who teams up with Mossad to stop a terrorist plot to prevent Israel from ever occurring. The Daleks ultimately are behind the plot but are revealed only by using Israel's ultimate weapon, one, the Doctor warns, perhaps should not be in the hands of humans... Part II: With the Dalek's plans exposed, they attack further back in time - all the way to the exodus! The Dreidels can only hold back the Daleks for so long and the Doctor must team up with Josephus, the Golem of Prague and the Maccabees to save Israel before it even exists. Part III: Betrayed by commander Weinstein, the Doctor and his new allies escape the Shul dimension. It's now a race in time to destroy the Dreidels and stop Weinstein from building the Empire of Zion and exterminating all non Jews from history.
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Nov 27, 2014 22:14
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Part 4 The Doctor, his writers, producers, and BBC are sued by the Anti Defamation League.
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Nov 27, 2014 22:37
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nothing in this thread is anywhere near as ridiculous as Doctor Who and the Pirates, a Doctor Who pirate themed musical starring Colin Baker that someone thought would be a good idea to make and sell e: tbh a fair few of the audio things are actually really good: "spare parts" is a story about the origin of the cybermen and is pretty drat good IceAgeComing fucked around with this message at 23:18 on Nov 27, 2014 |
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Nov 27, 2014 23:14
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Automatic Slim posted:Part 4 would watch
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Nov 28, 2014 02:04
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The Bald Spot Under The Yemorrah
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Nov 28, 2014 02:33
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IceAgeComing posted:nothing in this thread is anywhere near as ridiculous as Doctor Who and the Pirates, a Doctor Who pirate themed musical starring Colin Baker that someone thought would be a good idea to make and sell what you're saying is every other Doctor Who episode is a Star Wars Holiday Special?
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Nov 28, 2014 02:37
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Alan Smithee posted:what you're saying is every other Doctor Who episode is a Star Wars Holiday Special? But without Bea Arthur.
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Nov 28, 2014 03:09
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 02:41 |
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Dr. Who discovers americans didn't like his show so he travels back in time to hijack an airplane and flies into the world trade center
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Nov 28, 2014 04:19
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