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Rustle: A child is playing in the yard and having a good time. It is autumn and he is playing in the leaves. He makes a running dive into a particularly big pile and vanishes beneath the multicolored foliage. When he doesn't come out for some time, his mum goes to check on him. The leaves all blow away and there was nothing underneath. Cue scream and opening theme. "Why are the leaves moving when there's no wind?" wonders The Doctor. Cut to footage of leaves blowing around to ominous background music. They are leaf monsters is why. "Schooling predators shaped like leaves." They swarm over people, who briefly stumble around blind all covered in leaves before the leaves disperse and there is nothing left behind. Normally leaf creatures are harmless scavengers. It's not like them to go after people. The Doctor deduces that the swarming instinct is triggered by raking the leaves into piles. "Do you know what's the difference between a grasshopper and a locust? Population density. If a particular spot on a grasshopper's leg experiences the right amount of friction for the right amount of time, it undergoes a metamorphosis from a harmless garden friend to an unstoppable eating machine. The leaf creatures are the same way. By raking them into piles you create a population density sufficient to cause their transformation." The Doctor lures all the leaf monsters to London's annual bonfire and they are incinerated, but The Doctor warns "Don't rake your lawns. And for God's sake don't jump into leaf piles; you might not come out again."
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Dec 1, 2014 19:42
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 01:05 |
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Rose is back
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Dec 1, 2014 19:46
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Capntastic posted:Rose is back *Camera zooms in on her face* "I neva left."
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Dec 1, 2014 19:47
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Have a fart The Doctor and Senor Mono (guest star Carlos Mencia) are trapped in a starship traveling between solar systems. A generation ship, launched by the unified Earth government and made up of those deemed as "undesirables". "Why do we only have bean burritos to eat?" asks the Doctor. Throughout the episode, Mencia gets more and more irate as the immense racism dawns on him. Towards the end of the episode, the doctor realizes that the beans are actually eggs from the Utraxian Omnimind, which gestates in a small egg that becomes a cloud of spores, growing in the ship's sewer system. The doctor finds his way out, leaving Mono to live with the newly discovered race after convincing the humans to continue eating the Omnimind eggs "After all, is it that bad to eat a race that wants to be eaten?" A week later the BBC publishes a full page apology.
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Dec 1, 2014 20:07
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Applewhite posted:now he needs The Doctor's help for the ultimate anti-Dalek act: he wants to get married! He's fallen in love with one of his fellow fifth-columnists and now the two have fled the empire to elope. the Doctor, being the closest thing The Daleks have to a religious figure, is the only being in the universe that could sanctify their union. Can't the Doctor just marry them out of his authority as a ship's captain?
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Dec 1, 2014 21:15
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glowing-fish posted:Can't the Doctor just marry them out of his authority as a ship's captain? Yeah but not just any ship's captain will do.
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Dec 1, 2014 21:16
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The Doctor Does Dallas The Doctor walks in on the companion watching Eastenders on TV. Confronted, she complains that their life is too exciting and she's looking for some melodrama. The Doctor reveals that there is a planet where all soap operas are real. While attempting to travel to Home and Away, a subspace anomaly in the plasma coils causes the TARDIS to land in Dallas, instead, where the companion ends up being the one who shot JR.
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Dec 1, 2014 21:18
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Dr Dude The Doctor and friend are on holiday in sunny California, when suddenly all the surfers start turning up dead on the beach. The Doctor goes undercover as a surfer (while still wearing a ridiculous scarf and dumb hat) and finds out there is a race of tiny evil plankton plotting to take over by killing the surfers and "get all the babes". Keanu Reeves guest stars as a piece of seaweed.
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Dec 1, 2014 21:51
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Doctor How - The universe is being eaten by von-neumann machines controlled by a little girl's emotions. The Doctor has to cheer her up to save everyone but learns she's going to die and it's one of those unchangeable time node things and HE'S SO SO SORRY, but she learns to accept it and dies contentedly.
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Dec 1, 2014 22:39
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doctor, doctor, give me the news i got a...bad case of doctor who
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Dec 1, 2014 23:24
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The Whole Internet posted:Doctor How - The universe is being eaten by von-neumann machines controlled by a little girl's emotions. The Doctor has to cheer her up to save everyone but learns she's going to die and it's one of those unchangeable time node things and HE'S SO SO SORRY, but she learns to accept it and dies contentedly. This was more or less an IRL SG1 episode.
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Dec 1, 2014 23:28
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Faux Mulder posted:Climb owns
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Dec 2, 2014 01:46
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Bloodlines The Doctor and Clara arrive in a mid-21st century America to find that there is no longer a shortage of donated blood, but there is a shortage of... people showing up to work? "Something isn't right... in this house." says the Doctor as he breaks into a random Londoner's house. There's food on the table, and the latest gaming machine is plugged into a TV and.. a shriveled corpse?! The sonic screwdriver tells the doctor that the machine is hooked up to a new underground container, and the Red Cross is seen driving down the road emptying these containers. "Why would someone be donating so much blood they die?" asks Clara, scrunching up her nose and rolling her eyes as she holds the controller with two fingers. The Doctor runs through the streets chasing the van until it ends up at a hospital, where he introduces himself as The Doctor, but they think he's A Doctor. So they let him in, "Level up." he whispers as he passes through the doors to the blood bank, filled to the brim with donor blood, all marked with the Kickstarter logo. The Doctor demands to see the person in charge, and Clara is offered a chance to play the latest game. "Sure, whatever, I'll give it a go!" the spunky redhead says. But before she can protest, she's strapped into a chair and a needle implanted in her arm. "Now whenever you get hit, you'll donate blood!" The Doctor meets the trans-dimensional Ironmonger on the top floor, "Ah of course! You need the iron from humans' blood! But why not just ask them nicely?" he says, blowing up the Master Game Server right before Clara passes out. The episode ends with the Doctor warning Clara to not sit in strange chairs, and beware what you invest money in.
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Dec 2, 2014 02:08
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Dr Who orders Nil By Mouth The Tardis groans into existence on a desert planet, or at least in a quarry on a desert planet, The Doc soon emerges, presumably in search of sand or buttplug shaped plants, followed by pasty, plummvy voiced dull companion, with decent breasts. Vaguley dramatic music plays over a closeup of the doc, looking astounded and disgusted, as if, after taking a second bite out of a dogshit sandwich, he realizes there there has never been dogs or, for that matter, bread in the entire history of that planet. "back to the tardis, qwop" he murmers, while eating spaghetti from his pocket. Some stuff happens, probably involving a bloke with a goatee, qwop screams a lot at a sentient collection of black bin bags. The thrilling final involves the doc pounding a pint glass into goatee mans face until it triggers the tardis' automatic safety bodily fluids quarantine-bot, (a henry with some bits of cardboard and silver paint), while repeating the Gallifreyan apology : "Caaaaahnnt"! Silent ending theme with a slow closeup on the pint glass. staberind fucked around with this message at 02:39 on Dec 2, 2014 |
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Dec 2, 2014 02:27
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Applewhite posted:The Final Death of the Daleks: The Daleks realize that even The Doctor can't be everywhere/when at once, so they concoct a scheme whereby they invade Earth at all points in time; past, present, and future, simultaneously. There is a quick montage of scenes where all The Doctor's friends across history, the lizard lady, Van Gogh, various queens, Churchill, and Donna's family look up at the sky as Dalek warships arrive overhead to blot out the sun. Things look bad for a while, but The Doctor is eventually able to find the paradox engine that is keeping the invasion stable and reverse it, thereby turning the very existence of Daleks into a paradox, causing them to be destroyed throughout all time and space, explicitly including ones hidden in pocket dimensions, space paintings, refractory crystals, "null zones," prehistoric retroviruses and "anywhere else they might be hiding that hasn't been named." The Doctor says "It's over, the Daleks have finally been destroyed and they're never coming back forever." The closing credits stinger is a scanned .PDF of a notarized document signed by the president of the BBC stating that the Daleks have really been permanently destroyed. lol
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Dec 2, 2014 09:37
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Applewhite posted:If you are stumped for ideas, just give me an episode title and I will spin a plot synopsis out of it. This is how the real Doctor Who show is written. The Doctor Goes Goth Wholocaust "Cabin" Make-Out Point Blanc
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Dec 2, 2014 13:39
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david... posted:Peter Capaldi is Doctor Who in... Destroy All Doctors! applewhite do it!
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Dec 2, 2014 13:41
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quote:Wholocaust let me try this one The Doctor and Clara land in World War II Germany. Clara had asked him if she could punch Hitler, and he acceded to her request, knowing from experience that this would cause no paradoxes. However, when they get there, they find Hitler fighting passionately to save everyone from the concentration camps. Clara is confused by this and punches out Hitler. When Hitler comes to, he tells the Doctor that the gas chambers were only meant to disable the abilities of shape-shifting alien invaders--he never meant to kill anyone! The Doctor manages to successfully weed out the aliens and send them back to their home planets. However, knowing that this is a major fixed point in time, the Doctor mournfully tells Hitler that he must gas the Jews to keep time intact, explaining why time cannot be rewritten in this case. Hitler reluctantly gives the order, and muses wistfully that all of humankind will remember him as a monster, but the Doctor replies that he and Clara will always know the truth. Clara apologizes to Hitler for punching him, and is angry with the Doctor for allowing Auschwitz to happen. Depending on whether or not there's enough time left in the episode, the Doctor may or may not find a way to save all the Jews by teleporting all of them to a parallel dimension and replacing their bodies with non-sentient doubles. Who Shot Mr. Burns? Remedial Chaos Theory My Screw-up
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Dec 2, 2014 14:10
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david... posted:Destroy All Doctors! Clara is in an argument with Mr. Pink about Obamacare. He thinks it's a bad idea but Clara is very much in favor of universal healthcare. When The Doctor shows up, she asks him to help settle the argument, but when they explain the ACA to him, The Doctor freaks out. "No, no, no! This isn't right! Putting doctors under the control of the military? That's the last thing we need! Doctors heal people, the military kills people. You don't think there's a conflict of interest there?" They fly to the White House to take it up with President Obama, but when they finally get in to see him, they discover something is very wrong: Obama has been replaced by an android! He has one of those hinged ventriloquist dummy jaws and talks only in pre-recorded sound clips ("Ah, I think that. What needs to happen. Is for you to. die."). The secret service are similar androids and they try to apprehend The Doctor and co., but he tricks them into entering their recharge cycle and that buys enough time for them to escape. It turns out every Doctor in the United States has been (or is about to be) replaced by an android. "You know what this means, don't you? We've got to destroy all doctors!" The Doctor captures a few of them and uses them to triangulate the source of the primary control signal. It turns out the signal is coming from a bunker underneath Berlin, where Hitler's brain has been preserved under a glass dome. He is defended by creepy SS androids, but The Doctor makes short work of the seventy year old hardware. After transmitting a self destruct signal to all the androids, The Doctor unhooks Hitler's brain from all outside stimulus, but not life support. Plunging the evil dictator into eternal darkness and madness. Obama and the kidnapped doctors were all in the bunker, guarded by SS androids (they had to be kept alive in order for Hitler to record sound clips of their voices). The Doctor drops them all off on the White House lawn and they wave goodbye as the TARDIS fades away. Edit: to bring this episode into continuity with Argue's interpretation of Hitler, when The Doctor confronts Hitler's brain, Hitler recognizes him and explains that it's The Doctor's fault that he became a monster, because the grief over the events of Wholocaust turned him nihilistic and evil. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Dec 2, 2014 |
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Dec 2, 2014 15:14
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I would watch the gently caress out of that.
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Dec 2, 2014 17:01
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gnarlyhotep posted:Dr Dude Two angry Sontarans show up in the TARDIS and pee on the Doctor's rug. Clara notes that it really tied the room together.
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Dec 2, 2014 17:23
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Devil Wears Wings posted:Two angry Sontarans show up in the TARDIS and pee on the Doctor's rug. Clara notes that it really tied all of reality together. I fixed it.
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Dec 2, 2014 17:25
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david... posted:I fixed it. The rug was woven from superstrings, see...
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Dec 2, 2014 17:26
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NO SONIC SCREWDRIVING ON SHABBAS!!
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Dec 2, 2014 17:45
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Who let the dogs out Who could it be now Horten hears a Who Who framed Roger Rabbit
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Dec 2, 2014 17:49
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Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong
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Dec 2, 2014 17:54
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The Doctor Goes Goth: The Gaang travels back to ancient Rome as it's being sacked by the visigoths. The Doctor, feeling especially anti-authoritarian in this episode takes the Goths' side, giving a speech on how even though these events mark the decline of Roman civilization, the artifacts and knowledge the Goths bring home with them will eventually plant the seeds of modern Europe. When Daleks show up to fight for the Romans (the Daleks are decorated with SPQR and other Roman motifs.) The Doctor must put a stop to them. Goth style! He rallies a warband of Goth raiders and they take the Daleks down using primitive weapons. The Daleks flee, having learned a valuable lesson about not underestimating "savages." Nobody brings up how teaching Daleks this lesson might actually come back to bite them in the rear end in the long run. Wholocaust: Argue already did a great job on this one. "Cabin": The Doctor and Clara stumble on a log cabin... in space? The frontier family living there seem to think they are just weathering a particularly bad winter on Earth in the 1800s and invite The Doctor and Clara to "come in from the cold." Inside the cabin, it does look and sound as if there is a snowstorm raging outside. Unfortunately, whatever is going on in the cabin accelerates the onset of "cabin fever" a hundredfold, and the Doctor and Clara soon find themselves slipping into the illusion that they have always been in the cabin and they have to wait there to weather out the storm. They all escape when The Doctor figures out the cabin is actually "a lobster pot" type trap that has been set adrift in space to snare unwary travelers, and the hungry "fishermen" will be along any time to collect their prey. The Doctor throws open the door and the spell is broken. The frontier settler family is actually a space frontier settler family whose ship is parked nearby. They thank The Doctor and continue on their way to their destination. Make-Out Point Blanc: A pair of 1950's American teens is canoodling in their convertible at makeout point. Just as the jock is about to score, his girlfriend turns around from looking out the window and she has no face. Someone or some thing is stealing teenagers' faces. Leaving the blank faced teens to shuffle creepily around town. Some return to their homes and lurch through the motions of their normal lives. Nobody knows what to do with them. One set of parents in denial and claim their son is "just as normal as ever" and get kinda psycho when pushed to confront reality. Eventually the problem gets bad enough that the mayor and some other hot-blooded townsfolk start to round the teens up and things are looking like they are about to turn violent. Luckily The Doctor discovers just in time that the teens' faces aren't gone, just moving at incredible speed so the features blur out. It was because the teens at Makeout Point were "moving too fast." When the teens agree to wait until marriage to have sexual relations, the curse is lifted. The curse was caused by an alien computer buried underneath the town.
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Dec 2, 2014 18:14
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Applewhite posted:The Final Death of the Daleks: The Daleks realize that even The Doctor can't be everywhere/when at once, so they concoct a scheme whereby they invade Earth at all points in time; past, present, and future, simultaneously. There is a quick montage of scenes where all The Doctor's friends across history, the lizard lady, Van Gogh, various queens, Churchill, and Donna's family look up at the sky as Dalek warships arrive overhead to blot out the sun. Things look bad for a while, but The Doctor is eventually able to find the paradox engine that is keeping the invasion stable and reverse it, thereby turning the very existence of Daleks into a paradox, causing them to be destroyed throughout all time and space, explicitly including ones hidden in pocket dimensions, space paintings, refractory crystals, "null zones," prehistoric retroviruses and "anywhere else they might be hiding that hasn't been named." The Doctor says "It's over, the Daleks have finally been destroyed and they're never coming back forever." The closing credits stinger is a scanned .PDF of a notarized document signed by the president of the BBC stating that the Daleks have really been permanently destroyed. lol
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Dec 2, 2014 18:49
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Acne Rain posted:Who let the dogs out Earth's dogs are in trouble when it turns out the Solar System is about to pass through a cloud of matter that is deadly only to domesticated dogs. "The radioactive isotopes exist on a frequency only dogs can interact with. Imagine a dog whistle, but instead of sound, it's ionizing radiation." The solution is to let the dogs "out." Of this dimension that is! The Doctor transports all the dogs into a pocket dimension where they can ride out the catastrophe in safety. Most of the episode is character development about relationships. The dog rescue thing is just an allegory.
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Dec 2, 2014 21:13
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Applewhite posted:Earth's dogs are in trouble when it turns out the Solar System is about to pass through a cloud of matter that is deadly only to domesticated dogs. "The radioactive isotopes exist on a frequency only dogs can interact with. Imagine a dog whistle, but instead of sound, it's ionizing radiation." that's doggone amazing
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Dec 2, 2014 21:16
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Acne Rain posted:Who could it be now "You're sitting alone in your house. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. You wonder 'who could that be now?' You're not expecting any guests. You open the door, and there's a package on your doormat. You look around, but there's no deliveryman to be seen. You don't even hear his truck. It couldn't have been more than two seconds before you answered the door, so where did he go? You pick up the package. You don't remember ordering anything, but as soon as you see the label you realize, 'ah, I did order this.' You take the box inside your home, which is exactly where it wants to be." It turns out there's a race of alien mimics that look like Amazon boxes. When you read their labels they retroactively alter your memory into thinking you ordered whatever was inside. This is just a ruse for the aliens to get into your house and steal stuff. They erase any memory of the things they stole from your mind, so all you're left is a longing sense of missing a material possession. Basically these aliens are responsible for the emptiness inside that you try to fill with material objects. "Only it's really just one specific object you want isn't it?"The Doctor and Clara help solve a single mother's problem by finding and returning her stolen goods, curing her of her feelings of emptiness. In the big picture, though, the only way to truly defeat the aliens is to be happy and thankful for what we have.
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Dec 2, 2014 23:56
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Acne Rain posted:Horten hears a Who The TARDIS's Size Regulation Matrix is malfunctioning again! (see Period of the Doctor) And The Doctor and his companion end up on a tiny dust speck on top of a flower. The Doctor can't get the TARDIS to be the right size again without help from Torchwood, but they have no way to communicate with anyone! In a last ditch attempt to save themselves, The Doctor is able to establish a psychic-audio link with hapless, bumbling Londonite Horten Bogg, who hears The Doctor and Clara as voices in his head. Once established, the link can only communicate with a single person, so only Horten can hear them. They're able to convince Horten he's not mad, but can he convince the authorities that there are tiny people living on his dandelion? Horten has to draw on reserves of courage and resolve he never knew he had, and in the end he learns that it doesn't matter how small you are (or how small you feel, in Horten's case) you are still big enough to be a hero. Who framed Roger Rabbit: The Doctor and Clara pay another visit to the time when anime and other cartoons have existence as real people thanks to hard light technology. They arrive in the middle of a scandal: movie star Roger Rabbit has been framed! Jessica Rabbit comes to The Doctor for help and her boobs are really bouncy and anyway I don't really remember too much about this episode except there is a lot of cartoon cleavage. I give it a 10/10.
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Dec 3, 2014 00:37
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Argue posted:let me try this one This would be the best episode of this show. Applewhite posted:The Doctor Goes Goth These are amazing too. You're too good at this, Applewhite.
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Dec 3, 2014 01:17
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It's Simple Quantum Physics
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Dec 3, 2014 02:58
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okay, my last try at this is Who gives a poo poo.
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Dec 3, 2014 03:03
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A very special Doctor Who episode about childhood obesity, with opening by Michelle Obama.
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Dec 3, 2014 04:33
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Dr Who has a stroke. He goes around the episode asking Who is Dr Who. Hilarity ensues.
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Dec 3, 2014 05:42
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Germination The Doctor and his Companion travel to an exotic jungle planet, known for its thriving ecosystem. The pair is all decked out in pith helmets etc, and (Companion) is chattering about how much she used to like going to the zoo as a little girl, which makes the Doctor start a lecture. “The zoo. You humans; always trying to keep your nature in neat little containers…well I’d like to see you try to keep THIS locked up--” As they step out of the TARDIS, the landscape is barren and lifeless. Like the opposite of that scene in the Wizard of Oz. The Doctor looks at the readings…“This can’t be right…no! It’s impossible! It was beautiful! It was the gem of the Naridian Solar system! Did we land on the right planet?” (Companion) doesn’t really read the situation and mutters, “It’s not very impressive”. The Doctor shakes her violently and lectures more. Eventually, it turns out that the planet (which is itself alive I guess) developed a new defense mechanism against "intelligent" races with all their litter and pollution: it disguises itself as a bare planet and goes into stasis when confronted. The Doctor gains the planet’s trust and the jungle springs back to life, with monkeys and everything. A wonder of evolution. Cootie Catcher The episode starts with a little child telling his playmates’ fortunes using a cootie catcher. The children are sitting in a circle, taking turns. The fortunes get scarily accurate, and mean-spirited. “Come off it, RYAN. You’re creeping us out!” Ryan’s eyes grow huge with fear… “I didn’t write that…” “Well—what did, then?” Demands a little girl in the circle. The Cootie Catcher starts moving of its own accord (“It’s not me! I can’t get my hand out!”), then stops. The little girl, after some trepidation, reaches out towards the cootie catcher. A high pitched scream! Start opening credits. The Doctor determines that the Cootie Catcher was made from some sort of evil Psychic Paper. Like a chiral version of regular psychic paper or something sciencey like that. He frees the children from this cootie-catcher-turned-kiddie-catcher using science or possibly riddles to confuse the paper, and overcomes the temptation to ask the evil (but knowledgeable) paper some questions of his own. When he angrily unfolds the cootie catcher, the paper is gone. Where did the paper come from? A loose end for another episode to resolve.
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Dec 3, 2014 06:42
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Checks and Balances The Doctor and an unknown past/future regeneration spend a period of time once every few decades in a complicated game of chess throughout time and space. Since they never know who they're playing, either a past or a future version of themselves, they never know the outcome since even if they perfectly remembered the game it might be a clever ruse by their future self to trick their younger self. In order to make moves, they leave one another a series of puzzles and riddles to lead them through history to observe some event where the outcome will be translated into a move on the board. The Doctor confides that he's never lost a match, but similarly, he's never won one either, due to the nature of the game. Eventually, as the Doctor and his opponent get more and more heated their game, Clara becomes horrified at the atrocities that the Doctor and 'the Doctor' are using as clues to translate their moves to one another for some silly game of Chess. The Doctor has to starkly tell Clara that Chess, by it's nature, is one of the most violent 'games' ever devised: Murder, sacrifices, crusades, ill-placed chivalry, regicide... All calculated, all intentional, all for victory at any cost with all with the helpless victims of history caught in the crossfire. Humans have distanced themselves from the 'violence' of the game for years, hiding it behind a cloak of civility and culture when it's just a tabletop version of all war that you think you just throw in a closet and forget about when you're not playing. While he's winning, he's trying come up with the best example in time and place for the checkmate when Clara refuses to join him, telling him it's not right to take advantage of the death and disasters of real people like this, even for a game as brutal as Chess, regardless of how harmless it is. Seeing Clara's shaken but steadfast resolve, the Doctor declares he has another move he can make. He proceeds to move into a position that will put he and his counterpart into stalemate, lamenting that whoever he was playing is going to be really upset about all that time wasted for nothing.
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Dec 3, 2014 08:21
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 01:05 |
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Capntastic posted:Rose is back Doctor Ho After a mishap with the TARDIS's navigational systems, The Doctor accidentally opens a gate to a parallel universe in which he regenerated as Richard Roundtree in his prime. They go on a blaxploitation adventure prominently featuring stereotypes that wouldn't have been considered politically incorrect in the 1970s. As the episode is still set in modern London, bystanders are visibly offended and dismayed. After destroying an alien menace by exposing their cloistered otherworldly minds to the power of funk, the parallel universe Doctor is finally able to go home. Just when everyone thinks things are back to normal, someone starts pounding furiously on the doors of the TARDIS. Richard Roundtree was, in fact, unable to return to his home dimension. He has regenerated as Samuel L. Jackson and needs The Doctor's help in solving a racially-motivated murder in New York City. The episode ends and it is merely assumed that this plotline was resolved off-screen.
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Dec 3, 2014 08:27
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