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quote:First, make sure you clean and rinse the tub really good. This is important, and make sure you tell her you cleaned it well. Why? Why is this so important? Are we supposed to assume your tub is normally nasty, and she needs to be reassured it's clean so she'll get in? Definitely stdh, because there's no way he actually has completed this fantasy with anything that was human.
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Dec 5, 2014 20:11
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| # ? May 28, 2024 04:17 |
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Yeah the fact that he has to assure his non-existent girlfriend that it's most definitely clean would, if it happened to me, set off a red flag. "Yeah, no, the tub is totally clean! I also definitely didn't jizz into the bath water." Maybe I'm just a suspicious person, though.
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Dec 5, 2014 20:23
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epopt posted:Definitely stdh, because there's no way he actually has completed this fantasy with anything that was human. Uh, he already answered you, troll. quote:Edit4: Thank you so much for the gold! Some user's also mentioned warming up the towels in the dryer first. Great idea. Unfortunately, with success, comes trolls. A lot of people are projecting their negativity at me saying I am fantasizing and that I am some under-sexed teenager, and that this is unrealistic. Putting on some music, a couple bottles of wine, some food, and some towels is not some far fetched crazy idea. E: Thanks for the gold!
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Dec 5, 2014 20:24
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This sounds like a George Costanza thing. Cold cut meats in the tub? A full on panini? Because what you want to do while relaxing in a bath is eat a loving sandwich.
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Dec 5, 2014 20:25
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hyperhazard posted:Now when you refill it with water, it will be lukewarm because you used up all the hot water warming the drat tub. To be fair, I'll wait to take a bath until after someone else took a quick shower just because it will have warmed up the tub surface without using up all of the heated water. But you definitely don't have to run a full "preparation" bath, that's an absurd waste of water. Zaphod42 posted:It starts kinda romantic but quickly gets so extremely over-specific that he sounds like he's describing how he handles his sex doll, not a real woman. This is exactly what I was thinking.
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Dec 5, 2014 20:30
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Boofchicken posted:This sounds like a George Costanza thing. Cold cut meats in the tub? A full on panini? Because what you want to do while relaxing in a bath is eat a loving sandwich. id eat a sandwich in the bath
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Dec 5, 2014 21:24
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david... posted:id eat a sandwich in the bath im eating a sandwhich in the bath tonight.
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Dec 5, 2014 23:55
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Wizard of Smart posted:im eating a sandwhich in the bath tonight. And I am the sandwhich.
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Dec 5, 2014 23:57
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david... posted:id eat a sandwich in the bath shower beer is better 
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Dec 6, 2014 00:07
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Place your fully delitized girlfriend into the tub and massage her ham and cheese breasts.
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Dec 6, 2014 00:13
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Zaphod42 posted:shower beer is better Shower Beer is strange because it has to be, like, a very specific kind of beer. You can't take a IPA or a good stout in there, it's got to be like a Tecate or a Rainier.
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Dec 6, 2014 01:01
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El Estrago Bonito posted:Shower Beer is strange because it has to be, like, a very specific kind of beer. You can't take a IPA or a good stout in there, it's got to be like a Tecate or a Rainier. Dogfish 60 and 90 are fine showerbeers. 120 is probably not as enjoyable.
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Dec 6, 2014 01:41
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El Estrago Bonito posted:Shower Beer is strange because it has to be, like, a very specific kind of beer. You can't take a IPA or a good stout in there, it's got to be like a Tecate or a Rainier. Yeah so only good beers
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Dec 6, 2014 01:43
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Showerbeer is the dumbest goon meme. "You know what makes beer better? Standing and having hot water pour all over your body and into your beer as you try to quickly chug an $8 bomber." You want good beer? Get a 40 and just sit on your drat rear end like a normal person #beerhax
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Dec 6, 2014 01:50
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Minarch posted:Showerbeer is the dumbest goon meme. "You know what makes beer better? Standing and having hot water pour all over your body and into your beer as you try to quickly chug an $8 bomber." You want good beer? Get a 40 and just sit on your drat rear end like a normal person #beerhax You don't get it - showerbeer combines the great feeling of getting smashed with the potential of dropping it (especially with soap!) and either slipping on the can (pussy) or slicing up your feet on the shattered glass (hardcore). #xtremedrinking, bra. Get in. TheObserver has a new favorite as of 02:53 on Dec 6, 2014 |
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Dec 6, 2014 02:50
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El Estrago Bonito posted:Shower Beer is strange because it has to be, like, a very specific kind of beer. You can't take a IPA or a good stout in there, it's got to be like a Tecate or a Rainier. oilcan of fosters
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Dec 6, 2014 02:59
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Boofchicken posted:This sounds like a George Costanza thing. Cold cut meats in the tub? A full on panini? Because what you want to do while relaxing in a bath is eat a loving sandwich. Honestly, I would love it if my boyfriend ran a bath for me, poured me a drink, and then brought me a sandwich. The rest of it is weird as hell, but I'm really into the sandwich idea.
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Dec 6, 2014 04:31
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Today is a good day for various stdh set to stupid meme macros.
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Dec 6, 2014 08:07
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First one... I just don't get why somebody would write that. Second one I can totally believe. I bet the job is just waaaaaay shittier than he's imagining.
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Dec 6, 2014 08:22
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I'm at a party. It's a Wisconsin winter, so we all take off our shoes at the door. It's a pretty good party. I'm in college, and it must've been my junior year. I came with my best friend / couch surfer, and everything was alright. I was flirting with a girl for a little while, and she gets a call on her cellphone. I play cards for a little while longer, but something gets my attention. I see a girl giving this guy a backrub. I call out, "Hey, what about me?" She starts making out with me. No backrub, no nonsense. Immediately, the first girl, with whom I was flirting with earlier, comes careening out of the woodwork. I do not see her. All I see is the backrub-girl's face being ejected off my own face by the first girl's fist. She was smacking her own friend in the mouth for moving in on me. WAPOW! There is commotion. "What is going on?" the partygoers might have said. Eventually, it gets to backrubgirl's boyfriend. She's got a boyfriend. And he's big. He tries to beat the heck out of me. I get lucky, and things don't end up like he thought they would. Enter: Boyfriend-guy's Four Big Friends. I do my best impression of the Roadrunner. I'm dashing out into the hallway, looking straight forward. 'I'll have to get to the car, and call my best friend on my phone so he can get me out of here', I calmly say to myself. As I'm running down the street, I see his car. The lights are on. The passenger door is open. My best friend is in the car. He has a poo poo-eating grin on his face. I don't ask questions. I dive in, and calmly explain that we need to abscond. "We've gotta get out of here!" I remark. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the rush?" "No time!" I tell him, no doubt with spittle dribbling down my chin. "Relax, man. Look in the backseat." I turn around. About 20 pairs of footwear, in various styles. I turn back to him. He smiles. I smile. No way are people going to run barefoot, much less three blocks, in a Wisconsin winter. Apparently, he saw what was about to go down, and prepared. I couldn't ask for a better best friend. We dropped the shoes off on the curb, and leisurely drove home.
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Dec 6, 2014 08:37
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Dec 6, 2014 15:14
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"Haha, just kidding, you actually failed for not only having out, but using an internet enabled device during a final."
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Dec 6, 2014 18:37
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Zaphod42 posted:First one... I just don't get why somebody would write that.
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Dec 6, 2014 20:53
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A Fancy 400 lbs posted:"Haha, just kidding, you actually failed for not only having out, but using an internet enabled device during a final." Why would he browse imgur instead of just cheating anyway
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Dec 6, 2014 21:04
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Nth Doctor posted:
I liked the full minute of an "extremely obvious blank look" on the face of the girl he was trying to ask out. Son, she wants nothing to do with you.
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Dec 6, 2014 21:05
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hyperhazard posted:It's one of those things like Le-a where someone's aunt's sister's neighbor totally knew someone with that name. It kept cropping up in the PYF Terrible Names thread so often that it was banned. http://www.vocativ.com/culture/society/people-named-abcde/ Weirdly enough, it turns out there are 328 people are named Abcde in the Social Security Administration database. So... I guess it's not STDH. Just dumb parents.
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Dec 6, 2014 23:00
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Dec 8, 2014 06:15
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Minarch posted:Showerbeer is the dumbest goon meme. "You know what makes beer better? Standing and having hot water pour all over your body and into your beer as you try to quickly chug an $8 bomber." You want good beer? Get a 40 and just sit on your drat rear end like a normal person #beerhax It's good for the same reason drinking in a hot tub is good. Being super warm makes cold beverages refreshing all hell, but you could probably get the same level of refreshment out of a shower sprite or shower gatorade. I cant imagine drinking fast enough to manage a buzz by the time your shower is over.
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Dec 8, 2014 09:22
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El Estrago Bonito posted:It's good for the same reason drinking in a hot tub is good. Being super warm makes cold beverages refreshing all hell, but you could probably get the same level of refreshment out of a shower sprite or shower gatorade. I cant imagine drinking fast enough to manage a buzz by the time your shower is over. I don't think the issue is whether it's good or not, but that goons do get kind of weird about it in a "look how bachelor I am" kind of way. Like the entire bachelor thread in this forum is (was? haven't seen it in a while) about shower beers and/or beer snob posts. Anyway, I just don't get what people get out of fabricating a conversation to awkwardly show their terrible joke to the internet. Like this from NAW: quote:
I mean...why? Even if it did happen, the "joke" doesn't even make sense. Why am I reading this? Why did supposedly hearing a couple math words make his day?
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Dec 8, 2014 11:42
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Murphy Brownback posted:Anyway, I just don't get what people get out of fabricating a conversation to awkwardly show their terrible joke to the internet. Like this from NAW: It doesn't even work. For any positive input value for these two numbers, it always works out to much a significantly smaller output than either one of the input values. Math words makes you smart 
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Dec 8, 2014 12:13
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That link is already broken  Does anyone still have it?
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Dec 8, 2014 12:14
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Fathis Munk posted:That link is already broken  
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Dec 8, 2014 14:44
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Reddit posted:I was first exposed to the DARE program in 7th grade. I would read a book during our DARE lectures. The first time I did it, we were 15 minutes in and he decided it was time to bring it up and try to humiliate me. He asked, "What are you reading?"
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Dec 9, 2014 08:16
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My lesson was that your kid got in trouble and you had to take off work to come and pick his smug rear end up. You sure showed me!
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Dec 9, 2014 12:47
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"Ok so what I just witnessed in Price Chopper on Altamont Ave was disturbing so I need to vent... As Soph and I were walking thru the store there was a woman using one of the store provided electric wheelchairs. With her was a young boy that couldn't have been more than 8 yrs old. This woman was not handicapped may I add just over weight (I know this because she stood up multiple times while in the store). As we were in the same part of the market I kept hearing this raspy voiced woman yelling at this child so much that Sophia's eyes were glued to her. She repeatedly screamed at this child orders like "get that" "pick that up" always followed by "what are you stupid" "you're just so worthless". As my blood boiled and my heart broke for this kid the last comment she made was "what are you some kind of loving retard". Well that was it for me. I walked over to this beast and said "is there a reason why you have been verbally abusing this child and talking to him like he's an animal"? She replied to me "because he has ADHD and he is slow and being a real rear end in a top hat". That was it for me I went on to tell her all about herself and what a disgusting and disgraceful excuse for a human being she was ( I will admit i was screaming and using choice words in the middle of the market) I told her it was her lucky day because my daughter was with me and told the little boy he was not stupid and that it wasn't right that he was spoke to like that. He looked up at me and said thank you with tears in his eyes. My closing statement to her was "god is going to punish you I promise that". As I walked away shaking and feeling like I was going to have a stroke everyone who was around including employees stood around and clapped for me. One worker named Mike walked over and shook my hand saying I have 2 kids I wanted to say something but I would get fired. I explained to Soph that if she ever saw someone treating someone else like that she needed to speak up and say something. She then told me "Mom Santa is definitely going to put her on the naughty list" followed by "I'm so proud of you and I bet you're that boys hero". I left with tears in my eyes but felt slight relief for doing what I did." Yeah, first off, this poo poo didn't happen. All else aside, just because you can stand doesn't mean you're not disabled. This is why when I was overweight, and say, in a lot of pain or recovering from surgery, I wouldn't use the carts anyway, or would be embarrassed to use my walker. It's hard enough being young and disabled, and getting stares for using things like that or using handicapped parking. God forbid being disabled lead to you gaining weight as well, now you're obviously just lazy.
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Dec 9, 2014 21:01
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Araenna posted:
loving hell this. Seriously there are loads of disabling conditions that mean a person can't walk any distance without tons of pain and/or a large risk of a fall/injury, meaning they require a mobility aid. Doesn't mean they can't stand up for a minute or hell, walk for a short distance. Some conditions leave people able to walk one day and in too much pain to walk the next. It's aggravating that people cannot pull their heads out of their assholes and understand this.
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Dec 10, 2014 17:46
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Guy I work with had heart surgery. He is a tall, healthy looking 24 year old who drives a sports car with a handicap plate. I'm sure he gets dirty looks for it. 
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Dec 10, 2014 18:18
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Araenna posted:"Ok so what I just witnessed in Price Chopper on Altamont Ave was disturbing so I need to vent... It definitely didn't happen (everybody clapped, too easy) but if it did, you'd be wrong for feeling smug anyhow. All she did was guarantee that when the poor kid gets home he's gonna get whooped really hard. Abusive parents are like that, "How dare you make me look stupid in front of all those people?" If you see abusive parents, don't give them poo poo like that's somehow going to make the kid's life better, its just going to piss them off more, which they then unload into the kid. That's how it works. Call child protective services, god damnit.
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Dec 10, 2014 18:42
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I was in Montreal for a school trip in the spring, and one of the places we stopped at was a bilingual dinner and a show. One of the kids on the trip, he's about sixteen, maybe seventeen, decided to be a wise rear end. At any oppertunity during the show, he would shout "TURDS!" at the top of his lungs. I tried to quiet him down, but I gave that up after the first course. He would even shout "TURDS!" while our hosts were speaking. After dinner, on the way out, one of the waiters, not even the one at our table, ran up and shouted "TURDS!" in a French accent, then ran off. It was priceless. The only way it could have been better is if the waiter had shouted at the right kid. He shouted at another guy who had nothing to do with the shouting.
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Dec 10, 2014 18:48
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| # ? May 28, 2024 04:17 |
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Are Tucker Max's stories considered STDH?
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Dec 10, 2014 19:13
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