- I Before E
- Jul 2, 2012
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HardcoreHack Usenet Report posted:
The WWF came to Madison Square Garden for In Your House 16: Prepare For Trouble And Make It Double tonight, and I had a fuckin' time!
Dark: Backlund and Funk/Hardyz, Funk pinned Matt after a Moonsault
Backlund and Funk team promo insulting MSG. They keep insulting each other for being a granola-eating stick in the mud and a hardcore chair swinging old coot, respectively, but they can agree that the losers in Madison Square garden are worse than either of them.
Dark: Hakushi and Bundy vs Godwinn and Godfather, Hakushi pins Godwinn
Vince cuts a promo about the history of MSG/WWF
Dark: Marc Mero beats Doug Gilbert
Dark: Doink and Vampiro vs. Kerrang!, Vampiro pins Holly
Heat: URSUS and Kal Kirby/Joanna
Joanna destroys the both of them handily, eventually finishing URSUS off with a fallaway slam."
3-Count come out and declare that they've been selected as the representatives for WWF in a WWF vs ECW special challenge. They'd like to invite their competitors out.
Out come the Blue Man Power Trip, The Blue Meanie, Nova, and Mikey Whipwreck!
3 Count vs BMPT
BMPT dominates the early match, with Meanie mostly on offense, until the lights go out, and the imagery from the last few weeks of video packages starts playing on the Tron.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAU_aW90IwY
That's a recreation of course, the actual one was on kazoo, but anyway, that plays as Scotty Bollea and Vic Venom come out! While Venom distracts the ref, Bollea tries to hit Meanie with a chair, only to hit Helms by accident. 1-2-3, and Venom and Bollea cheer like they just helped 3-Count win the main event of Wrestlemania. This was good, but nobody cares about 3 Count.
Post-Match, 3-Count and BMPT run Venom and Bollea off, and shake hands, congratulating each other on a match well done.
Jim Cornette introduces the newest member of Camp Cornette, Ahmed Johnson.
Ahmed Johnson squashes Tracy Smothers
The PPV opens with some bombastic music playing, the camera showing three pairs of boots. The camera pans up to show HHH and Austin, with Joanna standing imposingly between them
Hunter: Prepare for trouble!
Steve: And make it double!
Hunter: To cover the world with devastation!
Steve: To whoop all rear end across the nation!
Hunter: To destroy the Hart boys and all they love!
Steve: And run this place, with an iron glove!
Hunter: Hunter!
Steve: Steve!
Hunter: The Power Trip will kill you by the close of the night!
Steve: Surrender now, cuz' you're gonna lose the fight!
Brian Pillman pops into the frame.
Pillman: BRIAN! Let's FIGHT!
No DQ Tag title match: LoV vs Dudleyz. The finish comes when D-Von tries to set Shamrock up for a 3D, but Shamrock reverses the flapjack attempt into a flapjack of his own, D-Von gets cuttered through a table, and Shamrock segues into the ankle lock as Sato hits a diving senton onto Buh Buh. D-Von taps, and the Legion Of Violence retain.
Jimmy Hart promo "The LoV takes on all comers! Hit them with your best shots! Fire away!"
He turns around to show the design on his jacket depicting Bubba Ray as Pat Benatar and the caption TAP BENATAR.
Angle comes out and mocks Shamrock, saying that Shamrock is nothing but a loser, and Shamrock runs him off before standing tall.
Camp Cornette vs the Texas Rangers was next.
Hansen and Vader started in the ring, trading elbows back and forth. After that violent back-and-forth, Vader tagged in Bulldog.
The two of them started going at it. After a few back-and-forth tags and beatdowns, Vader dragged Hansen to the other turnbuckle to put him away with a Vader Bomb. He goes for it, but Hansen catches him and slams him to the mat.
1... No! Hansen is getting his second wind here, and starts beating down on him. This continues until Vader ducks a lariat, and slams Hansen.
Vader and Bulldog commence their assault again again, and Bulldog sets Hansen up for a powerslam, but Hansen dodges, and makes the tag to Henry! Henry starts beating down on Bulldog. After Vader distracts the ref, Bulldog hits Henry with a low blow, causing Henry to double over.
Bulldog shoves Henry into his corner, and starts beating down on him, until Vader tags himself in, and sets Henry up for a Vader Bomb. Bulldog and Vader argue over this tag, and Henry takes advantage, collects himself, and hits a World's Strongest Slam for the 3.
After the match, Cornette starts getting in Bulldog's face, and he just turns around and walks away. Ahmed starts trying to stop him, but he just swats him aside. Vader starts screaming at him, but is quickly shut up by Bulldog slapping him across the face. Vader and Bulldog start brawling, and as Bulldog is getting the upper hand, Ahmed starts trying to beat down Bulldog as well. Bulldog whips him right into Vader, knocking them both to the floor. Cornette starts beating Bulldog with his tennis racket, but Bulldog just grabs it and breaks the netting over Cornette's head to a good pop. Bulldog is thoroughly face now, and it seems to have gone well.
Trailblazers vs MonECW Inc. No DQ Elimination
Stevie Ray and Pitbull #1 start off with strikes, before the Pitbull runs the ropes and is caught off guard by a bicycle kick out of nowhere! 1-2-3!
First elimination: Stevie Ray elminates Pitbull 1 by pinfall with a Drive-By.
Incensed, Pitbull #2 runs into the ring, and immediately goes for Stevie's head with elbows, just bashing Stevie's head until the ref has to pull him off. As Pitbull 2 tags in Angle, the ref determines that Stevie is too hurt to continue.
Pitbull 2 eliminates Stevie Ray by referee decision after elbow strikes.
Osamu Nishimura tags in, and stares down Angle, before going for a lockup. The two of them exchange hold after hold, squirming out of each other's submissions with the greatest of finesse, almost at an impasse. But Ahmed Johnson runs out from the back with a chair, and starts attacking the Trailblazers. Once they've been temporarily slowed, he runs into the ring, and along with Angle and Pitbull #2, he just wails on Nishimura, focusing on the legs. Once he finishes, he leaves the chair in the ring and runs off as Angle hooks in the Ankle Lock. Nishimura tries to get to the ropes, but he has to tap out.
Angle submits Nishimura with the ankle lock.
Angle tags in Pitbull #2 as Rocky Maivia hits the ring and completely dominates the Pitbull. One uranage later, and the Pitbull is out.
Rocky Maivia eliminates Pitbull #2 by pinfall with a uranage.
Rocky stands tall, calling out Brian Lee. "YEAH, YOU! YOU SEVEN FOOT TALL TRICK OR TREATER! I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO FIGHT YOU OR SEND YOU OFF TO COMIC-CON!" Lee steps into the ring for the first time in the match. Before, he had simply stood on the apron. Rocky starts punching him, but he shows no pain. Rocky winds up for a big punch, and again, it doesn't faze Lee. He slaps him, kicks him in the gut, thumbs the eye, still no reaction. Finally, Rocky goes low. He delivers a large kick to Lee's groin, finally staggering him. Rocky hits the ropes, delivers a clothesline, further staggering Lee. He hits the rope again, but this time, he uses his rebound energy to whip Lee to the ropes. As Lee returns, Rocky hoists him up, and plants him down with a Spinebuster! Rocky slowly slips off an elbow pad, throws it to the crowd, and goes for a flashy elbow drop, but Lee sits up as he's about to drop it. Rocky is shocked, and looks at the chair Ahmed left in the ring earlier. As Lee begins to rise, Rocky gets a few whacks to the back in with the chair, staggering Lee even more. Lee tumbles to the outside to get his urn, and Rocky follows, but on the far end of the ring. Rocky whacks his chair against the barricade a few times, and gets a running start before delivering a brutal overhead shot! Lee, however, blocks it with the urn! He then delivers a kick to Rocky's groin, doubling him over so Lee can deliver an elevated powerbomb to the ring apron! Lee re-enters the ring as Rocky writhes on the outside.
The ref counts. 1...2...Rocky starts to get up. 3...4...5...Rocky is on one knee now. 6...7...He's grabbed one rope. 8...He's pulling himself in...9...Rocky gets back in the ring just in time! He crawls over to Lee, and starts pulling himself up. Lee stares down at him, and Rocky gives the bras d'honneur. Lee lets out a guttural yell, and pulls Rocky up for the Tombstone. As Taz tries to break it up, DiBiase pulls him off the apron.
1...2...3. Brian Lee eliminates Rocky Maivia with a tombstone.
As Rocky tries to crawl out, Lee follows behind, hoping to get a few more blows in. They eventually start beating each other with chairs, and after a particularly sick shot to the head, Rocky beats Lee down to the floor before staggering to the back, using the chair as a crutch of sorts.
Lee sits up as the ref counts 5, and gets back into the ring. Taz, now alone against the world, goes for more strikes on Lee, and Lee seems to have been heavily affected by the previous brawl, swaying uneasily after each blow. Taz goes for the Brooklyn Boot, staggering him further. Taz takes advantage, hitting a Tazplex for the 3. Angle does not try to break it up as he's arguing with DiBiase on the outside.
Taz eliminates Brian Lee with the Tazzplex.
As Lee's elimination is announced, Angle turns from DiBiase and runs into the ring, getting the jump on Taz with a german suplex! He holds on and goes for a second! A third! He goes for a fourth, but Taz elbows him, turns around, and goes for a belly-to belly! Another belly-to-belly! 3! 4! He goes for 5, but Angle goes for a low blow, hooks the leg, and goes for a fisherman suplex! 2! 3! 4! 5! After the fifth, he goes for the pin!
1..2...2.9! Taz kicks out, and Angle rolls to the outside, getting a chair. He whacks it against the barricade a few times, before rolling back into the ring. As he does so, Taz has gotten back up, and hit the ropes. As Angle gets to his feet, Taz Brooklyn Boots the chair right into his face! Angle, staggered and starting to bleed, falls right into Taz's arms, as Taz sets up for a vertical suplex--NO! A BRAINBUSTER! And not just one! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! Angle is not moving! Taz goes for the cover!
1...2...And DiBiase pulls the referee out of the ring! Taz follows, and gets in a shouting match with DiBiase and the ref on the outside. As they bicker, Angle starts to get to his feet, still gushing blood. He stands, he looks into the camera with a sick grin, AND HE PULLS DOWN HIS STRAPS! He hits the ropes, JUMPS OVER THE ROPES, AND KNOCKS TAZ AND THE REF INTO THE CROWD!
Taz and Angle start beating on each other with chairs, cups, anything they can find! The ref, still unconscious after Angle's amazing dive, does not count them out. After a particularly brutal shot leaves Angle leaning on the barricade, Taz gets a running start and Angry Man's Clotheslines the both of them over to the ringside area!
Angle and Taz struggle to their feet, as the ref finally awakens. They roll into the ring at the same time, on opposite ends. Taz hits the ropes for a Brooklyn Boot, but Angle grabs it and rolls under into the ankle lock! Angle is screaming and bloody as he just grinds Taz's ankle! Taz crawls in agony towards the ropes, but since this is a No DQ match, Angle doesn't have to break the hold. Taz climbs up the ropes, onto one foot, and hits an enzuigiri onto Angle! Angle is swaying, so Taz whips him into the corner before running to the opposite corner and running in for an Angry Man's Clothesline! He hits the opposite corner again and goes for another clothesline! He goes for a third, but Angle hits him with a devastating elbow strike, before hitting the modified fireman's carry that JR calls the Angle Slam! Angle looks over Taz, and goes to the top, setting up for a moonsault? Angle stays up a bit too long, gloating to the crowd, allowing Taz to get up, climb behind him, and HIT A TOP ROPE TAZZ-PLEX! Taz takes no time locking on the Tazmission afterward, as the ref finally re-enters the ring!
Angle simply refuses to tap, screaming "NO! NEVER! I WILL NEVER! TAP! OUT! NEVER! Never... never..." as he slowly fades out of consciousness. The ref raises his arm once... twice... three times. Taz wins! This was a really fun match, and Taz looked great. By the end, there was a pretty decent E-C-DUB chant.
TMPT cut a promo backstage about their match tonight.
Austin: "You know, Owen, Bret, Edge, you cats may think that just because you share a nationality and a grudge, that makes you a team? UH-UH! That's not what makes a team! Me and Pillman here have been knuckleheads since old times, and HHH and I are former tag team champions! Not only that, we share a common ambition! We all want to get to the top, and we'll help each other as much as we have to! We ride together, we die together, and we finish each other's-"
"SENTENCES!"
"Business! We finish each other's business!"
"No, no, a few weeks ago, when I was telling you about Joanna, that's what I was thinking of, sentences!"
"That's nice, son, but let's get back to the matter at hand. We finish each other's business, and since Hunter here didn't quite finish Edge off the first time, we're gonna help him finish the job--PERMANENTLY! Ain't that right, Pillman?"
"YEAH, IT'S drat RIGHT! WE'RE GONNA gently caress YOU UP! NOT A FUCKIN' SOUL IN ALL OF CANADA IS GONNA RECOGNIZE YOUR FACES ONCE WE'RE DONE WITH YOU!"
"Simmer down, Brian, save some 'a that for the match! Harts, Edge, you know what we're gonna do, just pray you cats survive it."
Box Office Bossman and Goldust vs Ultimate Warrior and Tom Prichard
The match begins with Bossman and Prichard in the ring. Prichard goes right after Bossman, but he is ready for him, and starts out brutalizing him. Backbreakers, big boots, splashes, you name it, and Bossman is hitting Prichard with it. He even tags Goldust in, and distracts the ref for Goldust to hit the Shattered Dreams on Prichard! Each of them took their time to get their signature moves in on Prichard, as all Prichard could do was try to look for an opening. Finally, as Bossman was setting up the Boss Man Slam, he got an opening, and tripped Bossman, managing just barely to crawl to his corner and tag in Warrior, just as Bossman tagged in Goldust.
In came Warrior swinging! Clothesline to Goldust! Knocks Bossman off the apron! Another clothesline to Goldust! This goes on for a bit, until Goldust grabs a pouch of glitter from Bossman, and blows it at Warrior, who ducks, and the glitter hits the ref, just as Warrior hits the Splash on Goldust. 1...2...3...4...5... he had him down, but the ref didn't see it! In comes Fucktrain! Fucktrain hits Warrior with a Big Sweaty Bomb and is gone by the time the ref gets the glitter out of his eyes. Goldust sets Warrior up for the Final Cut, and hits it for the 3.
We cut to outside the arena, where Ted Dibiase is fuming at Angle, Lee, Francine, and the Pitbulls.
"YOU! I DIDN'T PAY EITHER OF YOU TO LOSE! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? YOU WERE THE FIRST! ONES! OUT! GET OUT, YOU ARE DONE!"
Francine gets in DiBiase's face.
"YOU TOO, LADY, DRAG YOUR MUTTS DOWN TO THE POUND WHERE THEY BELONG! AND YOU, BRIAN LEE! YOU OVERGROWN LOSER! I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THAT COSTUME! GET LOST! AND YOU, MISTER AMERICAN HERO!"
"Hey, I didn't tap out! I did not tap out! I never have! Never will!"
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING BUTTING IN ON KEN SHAMROCK? I DON'T PAY YOU TO PROMOTE YOUR ECW CRAP!"
"Hey, I did my job! I fought for you! It's not my fault you saddled me with those 3 losers!"
"OH OF COURSE YOU BLAME THEM! AAAAANYONE BUT KU-scuse me."
A stagehand brought DiBiase a phone from inside.
"Hello? What? He's ready? He's ready! TAKE IT ON THE ARCHES, ANGLE, I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE! AAAHAHAHAAAHAAAAAA!"
Undertaker and Dave Taylor vs Tajiri and Kane
The gong sounds as Undertaker enters with Dave Taylor; the two give a gentlemanly handshake as they take their places in the ring. Then Kane and Tajiri enter, both looking fearsome under red light, and fire shoots from the ringposts. Dave Taylor and Tajiri start off. Taylor tries to get Tajiri in a hold but the Japanese wrestler is too agile, slipping out of his grasp and tagging him with slaps and chops. Dave gives up the submission game and starts striking hard with his forearms, knocking Tajiri down and going for an early one-count. Tajiri scrambles back just long enough to tag in Kane.
Kane lurches towards Taylor, who again goes for a tie-up but is overpowered by the strength of the big red monster. After fighting his way out of a nasty hold he dives to tag in the Dead Man. Undertaker and Kane stare each other down for a moment, then go to a test of strength. It looks even until Kane slowly forces the Undertaker to his knees and delivers a series of devastating shots to the skull. He drags up his opponent for a chokeslam and sends him thundering down to the canvas. He goes for the cover.
1... 2... Undertaker gets the shoulder up. In a fury Kane throws him across the ring. Caught in a corner, Taker starts to fight back, using a series of punches to get back to the center. He nails Kane with a lariat, but the monster springs back up and catches Undertaker again- this time into a tombstone piledriver!
1... 2... 2.99999 as Taker just manages to get the shoulder up and rise from the canvas. Grabbing Kane by the arm he heads to the ropes, climbs to the top and hits the Old School. He covers Kane... 1... 2... Kane gets up. Undertaker throws him to the corner where Tajiri waits, and Kane accidentally knocks his partner off the apron! Kane is now dazed and staggers forward. Undertaker pauses- turns to Dave Taylor, and tags him in, gesturing as if to say "All yours."
Kane gets himself together enough to run for a clothesline at Taylor, who ducks out of the way- and Kane takes out the ref! Taylor jumps to the top turnbuckle, hits a beautiful Flying Ace onto Kane, goes for the cover, but nobody's there to count to three!
Suddenly we hear twisted circus music, as Doink the Clown appears on the ramp, pointing and laughing at the Real Man's Man. Taylor, staring at him, doesn't see Vampiro come up from behind and hit him with a spike! Kane picks up the stunned Taylor and hits a tombstone piledriver! He makes the cover, and the ref, now recovered, counts the pin.
1... 2... 3!
Kane and Tajiri have their arms raised in victory as Taylor and Taker stare in disbelief at Bearer and his freakshow: Tajiri, Kane, Vampiro, and Doink.
After the match, Paul Bearer took a microphone. "OH, MY UNDERTAKER, YOU HAVE ONLY BEGUN TO FEEL THE WRATH OF MY MINISTRY OF DARKNESS! WE WILL NOT STOP UNTIL WE HAVE TAKEN YOUR SOUL! AAAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
Michaels and Jericho/Liger and Mankind
Liger and Jericho start off, and this is a clinic. These two have each other's numbers. Every hold is countered, every flip is dodged. Michaels tags in, and he fares about the same. As HBK jumps on the ropes to reverse a hammerlock into an armdrag, Jericho opens his guitar case, which is leaning against the ring steps. Michaels finally gets Liger off guard with an elbow strike followed by an eye rake, which allows him to get the advantage and grind Liger down, as Jericho cheers him on. The tables turn, however, after HBK whips Liger to the ropes, setting up a back body drop, but Liger jumps over him, and flips him over with a Yoshi Tonic!
1...2...2.9, Heartbreak kicks out, and Liger just barely gets to Mankind for the hot tag! Clothesline! Clothesline! Whip into the corner! Running elbow strike! Running elbow strike! Corner cannonball! Foley waits in the middle of the ring, striking up the band, as HBK gets to his feet. Mankind goes for Sweet Shin Music, but HBK whips the leg and puts on the Figure 4 Leglock!
As Mankind struggles to survive, Jericho hops off the apron, sneaks around to Liger's corner, and pulls him to the floor! Jericho and Liger battle on the outside as Mankind struggles to reverse the pressure. Jericho attempts to whip Liger into the guitar, but Liger is able to stop just short! Jericho is one step ahead, however, as he runs on the apron, jumps off, AND DOUBLE FOOT STOMPS lIGER RIGHT INTO THE GUITAR! Jericho gloats to the crowd as medical personnel check on Liger, and returns to his corner to assist HBK. Just as Jericho returns to the corner, Mankind is able to reverse the pressure on the Figure 4!
As Michaels tries to hold on, Jericho hops over the ropes, bounces once on the inside, and hits the Lionsault onto Mankind, breaking up the hold! As Liger waves off the trainers and tries to make it back to his corner, Jericho and Michaels work over Mankind, making use of quick tags and double teaming. However, the tide turns when they attempt a double dropkick, but Mankind swats away HBK and grabs Jericho's leg, DDTing it into the mat!
Mankind runs wild on Jericho and HBK, whipping Michaels into the corner, Michaels of course rolling up the turnbuckle and falling into the Tree Of Woe! He whips Jericho into that same corner, but Jericho stops short! When Mankind barrels into the corner after him, he goes for the Codebreaker, but Mankind is able to hold him up, and reverses it into a powerbomb into Michaels! Liger is almost at his corner now, crawling onto the steps! Jericho gets up first, as Michaels has collapsed out of the Tree Of Woe, and eats a Sweet Shin Music setting him up for the Double Arm DDT! Jericho wiggles out, reverses into a hammerlock, whips Mankind out, and pulls him back in FOR A CODEBREAKER! Mankind is down, and Jericho is also exhausted, rolling out of the ring as HBK starts getting to his feet and striking up the band. Mankind gets to one knee, and finally to his feet. HBK goes for Sweet Chin Music! Mankind dodges! He hooks in the Mandible Claw! Mankind works the Heartbreak Kid down to the canvas, writhing in agony, as Liger finally drags himself up the steps to the corner. Michaels, canny as always, hooks an inside cradle!
1...2...3! Michaels taps out just after the 3 is counted, but he wins! Michaels and Jericho win!
As the ref lifts HBK's hand, Mankind is confused. As the ref explains what happened to him, Jericho sneaks up on him with a chair. Jericho and HBK beat Mankind down with chairs, until he's laying in the corner unable to get to his feet. Jericho and Michaels look at each other, and Michaels lets Jericho deliver the final blow. Jericho hits the dropkick into the corner that took Piper out, and Mankind is down and out. They celebrate as Liger and Mankind are given medical attention.
Now it's time for our Main Event. The Three Man Power Trip face off against the Harts and Edge.
Edge and HHH start out, exchanging blows, and generally beating on each other. HHH has the upper hand, and whips Edge into his corner, where he tags in Austin. Austin starts beating on Edge. Edge gets little offense in, until Austin whips him into the ropes, and goes for the Thesz Press, only to eat a Spear.
Both men are down, and the referee starts counting. 1...2... Austin shouldn't be down this long, all he took was a spear! 3...4...5... Austin sits up, and just looks at Edge, laughing all the while. He gets up, and drags Edge over to the ropes, where he tags in Pillman. If HHH and Austin were mean to the kid, Pillman was just brutal, beating down on poor Edge. Edge finds a hole in Pillman's offense, and spears him, too! Learning his lesson, Edge drags himself over to his corner, and tags in Owen. Pillman tags himself out, and Austin comes in swinging wildly, setting up Owen for the Stunner, which he reverses into a German Suplex! He sets Austin up for the Sharpshooter, but Hunter breaks it up. Owen tags in Bret, as Austin tags in Hunter. Bret and Hunter are going at it now! Bret hits Hunter with a few moves, and tags out to Edge. Edge and Pillman start beating on each other, and Pillman has the upper hand, when the two of them both go for dropkicks, leaving them both down for the count, crawling over to their corner. Edge gets the tag on Bret as Pillman gets the tag on Hunter. Hunter swings at Bret, who ducks, and accidentally hits Pillman and Austin off the apron! Bret takes the opportunity to hit a double leg takedown on HHH before turning into the Sharpshooter.
HHH tries to crawl to the ropes, but can't. Eventually he flips over, flipping Bret with him, and starts kicking Bret in the leg until Bret has to break the hold. HHH takes the advantage, stomping on Bret, before tagging in Austin, who hits the diving middle fingers on the downed Hitman. Austin tries to go for the mudhole stomp in the corner, but Bret rolls out of the ring, and pulls him down into a figure 4 around the turnbuckle. The ref starts counting, until Bret lets go on the four. Austin is livid, and tags Pillman in, as Bret tags Owen in. Austin and Bret start brawling outside the ring, as Hunter has crawled over to the other side. HHH grabs Edge, setting him up for another Spike Pedigree onto the concrete, but Edge reverses it into a backdrop before getting a microphone from the timekeeper's area. as HHH gets up, Edge spears him through the barricade! Edge rolls through into the crowd, and checks his mic before starting to cut a promo:
"Triple H, you pedigreed me out of this company just a few months ago, and who the hell are you? Best friends with two guys who decided they weren't making enough money from Scrooge McMahon and some jerkoff who looks like a male stripper? You make me sick. You're in this match because of your connections, not your wrestling skill! When you talk, my ears bleed. But hey, I bet you're selling a lot of seat cushions, aren't you? But I'm not here just to talk about you, Triple H. I've got bigger fish to fry.
It wasn't too long ago that I got fired from the WWF. I wake up, I get a phone call, he tells me they're exercising the termination clause of my contract and I'll be getting a pink slip in the mail and a little buyout, to make it official. And now look at me, I'm main eventing one of their pay per views. How far I have come from when I was so green I'd get booed out of the building.
But this is a live, uncensored, unfiltered broadcast where WWF fans have paid to see ME, Adam Copeland, EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING, not this blueblood trash in front of me! I'm proving old Vince wrong about everything with my very presence! These are my people, not yours! And I'm here to throw a pipe wrench in your wheels!
How? Let me explain it to everyone. There's this creative "genius" named Vince Russo up in Connecticut. You might know him as Vic Venom. This man told Triple H to spike my head into the loving mat and try to end my career because I was hurting their ratings! Oh, I'm sorry, Sky Sports, I'm not supposed to say that, am I? Well I'm not rated PG, or 14, I'm Rated R! Vince Russo is a magazine writer who doesn't know the first goddamn thing about wrestling. And Triple H, the fact that you went along with his plan makes you just as big of a piece of poo poo as he is! The way your friends down south throw money around you could've gotten a job there making ten times as much with one simple word: No.
You people, you don't know what you're missing! You wanna see something other than 40-year-old drug-addled bodybuilding rejects with balls the size of raisins jerking each other off on television for $50,000 every Monday night to feed a demented millionaire's sexual frus-"
Bret hits the Mic out of Edge's hands, and tells him off, as Austin grabs Bret from behind and throws him into the Announce table. Edge bends over to grab the Microphone again, but Hunter already has it, and is running at him. Edge runs out of the arena, as Hunter follows, screaming bloody murder (literally, the mic was picking up shouts of “I'M GONNA KILL YOU KID” and the like).
Bret and Austin brawl on the announce table for a but, until Austin goes for a Stunner, but like his brother before him, Bret reverses it into a German, and knocks the two of them out.
Owen and Pillman are in the ring, Owen goes for the sharpshooter, but Pillman wiggles out, Pillman goes for the Air Pillman but Owen reverses it into the Northern Lights Suplex to Armbreaker transition! Pillman clearly has nowhere to go, but raises his body up to hide his raking of the eyes. Owen is incensed, and as the referee checks on him Brian Pillman goes for a low blow... but Owen catches it, and kicks Pillman into a Perfect-Plex! The crowd is going mental when Owen cinches in the Dragon Sleeper in the middle of the ring! Pillman is going insane, realizing that he has no more support of the Power Trip left, and finally is forced to tap out!
This PPV was a solid B, and even the interruption in that main event didn't drag it down!
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Nov 29, 2014 22:59
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You heard the man! Team WCW Assemble! 
