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Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

ActusRhesus posted:

I'm a lawyer. I feed off of the hatred of others.

Thread title please

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PookBear
Nov 1, 2008


from 1861-1865 :clint:

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Reverand maynard posted:

from 1861-1865 :clint:

Paging 50FA for confirmation.

Genocide Tendency
Dec 24, 2009

I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.


Stultus Maximus posted:

Yeah this is from a while back but I skip legal poo poo


Shooting a laser from a battleship would be awesome, but we don't have any active battleships. Hell, a cruiser or destroyer or PC would be awesome.

Ponce is not one of those. Ponce is not awesome. Ponce is the 1973 El Camino with the base straight-6 of the fleet.

Its a navy boat that doesn't have a runway. Its a battleship to me.



Andrew Jackson was our president for two terms.

quote:

On the last day of the presidency, Jackson admitted that he had but two regrets, that he "had been unable to shoot Henry Clay or to hang John C. Calhoun."

Clay was his political nemesis. Calhoun was his vice president for 4 years.

Lived with a musket ball in one of his lungs from a duel in 1806 where he let Charles Dickinson (not the author), an expert marksman, shoot first on purpose.

Also killed a poo poo ton of Injuns and generally was :black101: as gently caress.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.
Teddy had a slug in his chest as well from a botched assassination attempt. It hit his speech in his pocket before going into his chest. He figured since he wasn't coughing up blood it missed his lungs so he said "it'll take more than that to kill a bull moose" and gave his speech as planned.

Zamboni Apocalypse
Dec 29, 2009

Courthouse posted:

-The president has the legal right to drone-strike Congress

I support this message.

ActusRhesus posted:

I for one would like to see MORE duels.

Also this one.

Zamboni Apocalypse fucked around with this message at 18:54 on Dec 12, 2014

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
Most of GiP would probably have fit in better during the western expansion and Indian wars, especially Shim, even if an officer would've assigned someone to keep an eye on him and his shifty Jewery

Genocide Tendency
Dec 24, 2009

I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.


Mr. Nice! posted:

Teddy had a slug in his chest as well from a botched assassination attempt. It hit his speech in his pocket before going into his chest. He figured since he wasn't coughing up blood it missed his lungs so he said "it'll take more than that to kill a bull moose" and gave his speech as planned.

Reagan got shot too.

maffew buildings posted:

Most of GiP would probably have fit in better during the western expansion and Indian wars, especially Shim, even if an officer would've assigned someone to keep an eye on him and his shifty Jewery

Custer had balls.

Terrible battle plan, but balls. Brass ones.

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
Back in simpler times when the rules of engagement were hide in this bog until the enemy comes through and shoot them all dead and piss on their corpse if you want to, who is going to be able to report and verify it?

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Genocide Tendency posted:

Custer had balls.

Terrible battle plan, but balls. Brass ones.

Custer was cav and therefore a fuckin' idiot who probably didn't know what he was doing most of the time.

Genocide Tendency
Dec 24, 2009

I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.


Honestly I'm partial to Grandpa Tendency's era of carpet bomb Berlin.

Euro theater, running out of Italy, smoking krauts from what ever 1000 feet they flew at. Then he went on to help build NASA.

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
My Grammpy was 3ID and spoke Kraut, Dago and Frog so they put him in the rear to help clean up and translate with all the locals. He brought home a lot of Nazi stuff that he probably wasn't supposed to. Apparently he took an ice pick to the head in a bar fight after the war and was even more hosed up after that, and when you start off 100% Italian you're pretty hosed to begin with. He then went on be an alcoholic who beat his kids in proud Italian American tradition.

In non Grandpa news, Officer Cried During Handgun Qual did NOT make a good shoot in Cleavland http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/12/justice/cleveland-tamir-rice/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Also Greenpeace hosed up the Nunca lines of the hummingbird in Peru, in Greenpeace fashion their statement was backhandedly unapologetic for partially wrecking a world heritage site. gently caress Greenpeace. Recycle those faggots and feed them to hogs on steroids whose waste goes into a local river

bloops
Dec 31, 2010

Thanks Ape Pussy!
Both Grandpa Bloopers fought for the Axis.

AreWeDrunkYet
Jul 8, 2006

maffew buildings posted:

In non Grandpa news, Officer Cried During Handgun Qual did NOT make a good shoot in Cleavland http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/12/justice/cleveland-tamir-rice/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Nah, that just confirms (to absolutely no one's surprise) that it was the officer's gunshot that killed him.

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
I'm glad it took only 3 weeks for the city of Cleavland to establish that

holocaust bloopers posted:

Both Grandpa Bloopers fought for the Axis.

Best Grandpa awardee found

bloops
Dec 31, 2010

Thanks Ape Pussy!

maffew buildings posted:

I'm glad it took only 3 weeks for the city of Cleavland to establish that


Best Grandpa awardee found

One died before I was born and the other only spoke about the war very briefly with me. He passed a few years ago. Now I'm the only one in my family with any service.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

holocaust bloopers posted:

Both Grandpa Bloopers fought for the Axis.

Owns

Best Friends
Nov 4, 2011

My family is a mix of Italian patrician types who most definitely were "in the war" and Irish republicans who had to leave Ireland after. . .a thing, but weirdly the entire American family has stayed out of every war until I decided to take part in one of our stupidest. So we're getting dumber.

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

maffew buildings posted:

Most of GiP would probably have fit in better during the western expansion and Indian wars, especially Shim, even if an officer would've assigned someone to keep an eye on him and his shifty Jewery

A Jeward amongst the noble corps of officers? Haha, surely you speak in jest, good sir.

Full Battle Rattle
Aug 29, 2009

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

Is this like a portmanteau of jew and coward?

Grandpa Rattle was on his way to the bay of pigs, Great Grandpa Rattle went to WWII or Korea, Uncle Rattle's a Marine. We've been cannon fodder for generations, though they could never kill us all the way.

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

psydude posted:

A Jeward amongst the noble corps of officers? Haha, surely you speak in jest, good sir.

Excellent comprehension skills demonstrated, showing why our proud Army trusts you with a commission

maffew buildings posted:

even if an officer would've assigned someone to keep an eye on him and his shifty Jewery

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/12/world/meast/isis-justification-female-slaves/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

loving really ISIS? Can we just coordinate with the Kurds, Turks and Iran to drive these fucks into one central place and nuke it yet? I don't want to ruin the surprise of that article, but before you click ask yourself "What do I think the ISIS policy on raping little girls would be?"

ActusRhesus
Sep 18, 2007

"Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."
"I don't want to tell him anything. I just want to kill him."

works for me.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

Genocide Tendency posted:

Reagan got shot too.


Custer had balls.

Terrible battle plan, but balls. Brass ones.

If Reagan had walked over and bitchslapped Hinckley, he might be worth mentioning along Teddy and Jackson.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

maffew buildings posted:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/12/world/meast/isis-justification-female-slaves/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

loving really ISIS? Can we just coordinate with the Kurds, Turks and Iran to drive these fucks into one central place and nuke it yet? I don't want to ruin the surprise of that article, but before you click ask yourself "What do I think the ISIS policy on raping little girls would be?"

Insha'Allah

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

maffew buildings posted:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/12/world/meast/isis-justification-female-slaves/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

loving really ISIS? Can we just coordinate with the Kurds, Turks and Iran to drive these fucks into one central place and nuke it yet? I don't want to ruin the surprise of that article, but before you click ask yourself "What do I think the ISIS policy on raping little girls would be?"

Any sources for this besides MEMRI?

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

maffew buildings posted:

Excellent comprehension skills demonstrated, showing why our proud Army trusts you with a commission

In my defense, I've been drinking.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D
I always wonder how they decide to use quotes in those articles.

"Seton Hall University law professor" might as well be "Carlos, the Mexican lawn guy" to me.

Courthouse
Jul 23, 2013
Does anyone have a decent grasp of proper, original, sharia law? Because a lot of people are trying to say this is no true islam, but on the other hand the bible is full of rules for owning slaves and treating women like cattle and the only way to stay a moral person by today's standards is ignoring an awful lot of the rules, because Jesus n' stuff. So are they correct in that ISIS interpretation is way out there, or does it just reflect that most these rules were written by desert tribes thousands of years ago?


quote:

"If she is a virgin, (her slave owner) can have intercourse with her immediately," ISIS explains, according to the MEMRI translation. "However, if she isn't, her uterus must be purified."

:stare: The everliving gently caress?


You know, one tries to make the argument to idiot rightwingers that we shouldn't just go murder and torture our enemies because we're better than that, higher morals, greater civilization, rule of law, etc, etc.

And then these people come along and suddenly my argument for not just taking the easy route and having the services whisking them away to some black site is that I do not trust the CIA to come up with sufficiently inhumane and depraved modes of torture for these kinds of people.

Please tell me this is some anti-ISIS propaganda spinning stories, I'm loving trying to not turn into one of the :sherman: posters. :smith:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Courthouse posted:

Please tell me this is some anti-ISIS propaganda spinning stories, I'm loving trying to not turn into one of the :sherman: posters. :smith:

one of us one of us

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

ReV VAdAUL posted:

I assume they want the body cameras to be used like military gun cameras then?
what's a military gun camera? I'm imagining this guy thinking that those YouTube videos of firefights made with PFC Dipshits iPhone are made with military issued gopros or something.

Kazinsal
Dec 13, 2011

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

one of us one of us

Jarmak
Jan 24, 2005

Cole posted:

what's a military gun camera? I'm imagining this guy thinking that those YouTube videos of firefights made with PFC Dipshits iPhone are made with military issued gopros or something.

Is this a serious question?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUtU0UPNrCM

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

He's talking about police though. Not apache pilots. Unless he's just terrible at analogies.

gently caress it, I'm high. I guess it makes sense.

Jarmak
Jan 24, 2005

Cole posted:

He's talking about police though. Not apache pilots. Unless he's just terrible at analogies.

gently caress it, I'm high. I guess it makes sense.

He was saying cops want the same amount of control over the footage from bodycams as the military has over guncams.

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

Courthouse posted:

Please tell me this is some anti-ISIS propaganda spinning stories, I'm loving trying to not turn into one of the :sherman: posters. :smith:

I could tell you that, but it would be a lie, and the fact is given what we've seen from ISIS this is completely in their lane for behavior. The world is an awful place, accept in your heart there is only one solution and it involves bukkakeing the world with radiation and flames

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D
http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2014/dec/12/face-sitting-protest-outside-parliament-against-new-porn-rules

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost

Jarmak posted:

He was saying cops want the same amount of control over the footage from bodycams as the military has over guncams.

That's pretty much a no-go. The military can cite national security when covering up their gently caress-ups, cops can't.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Zeroisanumber posted:

That's pretty much a no-go. The military can cite national security when covering up their gently caress-ups, cops can't.

But you have dummies out there who think people need access to everything and that full transparency is the only way to be able to trust your government. Whatever happened to the idea that ignorance is bliss?

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Jarmak
Jan 24, 2005

Zeroisanumber posted:

That's pretty much a no-go. The military can cite national security when covering up their gently caress-ups, cops can't.

yeah, I know, but the message behind the post was pretty clear, I was just responding to cole being utterly confused as to what the person was saying.

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