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Jabba having a bunch of dudes who want him dead ain't ridiculous. Dude is sort of a prick. Frogdog is a bit much though.
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Dec 15, 2014 09:09
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jabba was apparently a pervert because he found humanoids attractive even tho he was a member of a hermaphroditic species that reproduced via budding
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Dec 15, 2014 09:40
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sort of like a gastropod furry
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Dec 15, 2014 09:41
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I'm reading the "novel" Kenobi right now AMA.
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Dec 15, 2014 10:48
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redshirt posted:I'm reading the "novel" Kenobi right now AMA. is there a love interest/romantic tension with any characters? how tone deaf is the writing to maintaining the tone of the character played by macgreggor/guiness? how many alien races have been turned into a monoculture pastiche based on the skills and interests of one character from the films? how many unremarkable characters who had walk-on roles from the films have turned out to have a backstory where they are exciting adventurers/bounty hunters/whatever?
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Dec 15, 2014 10:52
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Otisburg posted:is there a love interest/romantic tension with any characters? Well, so far Ben sorta has a thing going on with a Tatooine single mother, but not really. Also, her daughter has the hots for Ben and I think she's 18. Also, fleshing out the Sand People. Did you know they are people?
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Dec 15, 2014 10:56
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So ive been thinking, and i devised the weapon that Darth Rainbow shall wield. Its one of these, but with light sabers instead of candles, each blade another color of the rainbow (photoshop anyone? complete with lightsaber handle?):  His special power will be Force-Fab, which turns people so fabolous they just prance away and dont bother fighting him anymore.
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Dec 15, 2014 11:36
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OneThousandMonkeys posted:It's good to know the outnumbered heroic rebels could have just straight up won a direct confrontation with the Empire's main battle group the entire time. Gammatron 64 posted:people hate on ROTJ a lot, but honestly it was a pretty drat good movie, and everything in it is pretty good except for the ewok parts. And even then, the ewoks aren't that bad. when you think about it, the ewoks aren't cute, they're scary. they're loving cannibals that literally skin and eat people and managed to capture a jedi. plus, if you go by the last two movies, the stormtroopers are pretty loving poo poo at everything, so no wonder the ewoks took them out
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Dec 15, 2014 11:47
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redshirt posted:Well, so far Ben sorta has a thing going on with a Tatooine single mother, but not really. Also, her daughter has the hots for Ben and I think she's 18. Like human people? Why do they make those noises? Are they deaf?
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Dec 15, 2014 12:04
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david... posted:Like human people? Why do they make those noises? Are they deaf? All dried up from living in the desert in heavy rags.
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Dec 15, 2014 12:10
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Yolomon Wayne posted:So ive been thinking, and i devised the weapon that Darth Rainbow shall wield. better to be force accounting
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Dec 15, 2014 13:56
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Yolomon Wayne posted:So ive been thinking, and i devised the weapon that Darth Rainbow shall wield.  not mine
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Dec 15, 2014 14:00
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 e;fb
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Dec 15, 2014 14:00
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Return of the Jedi was better than The Empire Strikes Back. 
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Dec 15, 2014 14:11
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Sombrerotron posted:Considering that the forest moon of Endor served as a replacement for Kashyyyk, I think it's fair to say that Ewoks really are just goofy mini-Wookiees. It's easier to get a bunch of midgets than it is to get a bunch of giant 8ft tall people.
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Dec 15, 2014 14:14
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ManMythLegend posted:Return of the Jedi was better than The Empire Strikes Back. There's really nothing wrong with either film and both are noticeably better than Star Wars.
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Dec 15, 2014 14:38
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ThePutty posted:
YES, just with rainbow colors!
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Dec 15, 2014 14:39
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Yolomon Wayne posted:YES, just with rainbow colors! 
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Dec 15, 2014 15:01
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This is of course the pre-igniters. The real blades are at least 5 feet long. And thus begins the story of Darth Rainbow (Raynbow? Rainbough? Raynebough?) the secret apprentice/fuckboi to Lord Vader and long lost twin brother to at least Han Solo or Yoda or someone of importance who will turn out to be the REAL reason for some galactic tragedy or something. Original charater, do not steal.
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Dec 15, 2014 15:52
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Yolomon Wayne posted:This is of course the pre-igniters. The real blades are at least 5 feet long.  please, do continue
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Dec 15, 2014 15:59
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Darth Raynebough - real name Lep Recon - originally worked as a flight attendant for Corellia Travel, frequently serving Imperial dignitaries fizzy space-wine[1] from the planet Champagne. This, however, was a cover put in place to conceal the fact he was actually informing for Lord Vader, feeding him Intel on the movements and gossip of high-level imperial officials. However, shortly before the battle of Endor, a bothan spy named B'than Spi was traveling with the stolen plans for the second death star. in an attempt to remember who he was supposed to deliver the stolen plans to, he had written out his entire spy network - literally the entire intelligence-gathering community for the Rebel Alliance - on a cocktail napkin. The fate of the universe was irrevocably changed when Lep was cleaning the economy class cabin of the travel ship and threw it out without actually looking at it. Countless lives were saved, and the rebel alliance was left unimpeded to defeat the empire and destroy the death star. As the empire was no longer using civilian travel ships and the alliance are a bunch of cheapskates, the travel industry suffered immensely. After Corellia Travel did its first round of layoffs, Lep was unable to claim unemployment due to union loopholes; and with Vader dead, the Empire had no record of him ever being employed. Furious over having to move back in with his mom, the hatred consumed him and he vowed revenge against the Alliance, becoming Darth Raynebough.
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Dec 15, 2014 16:31
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:jabba was apparently a pervert because he found humanoids attractive even tho he was a member of a hermaphroditic species that reproduced via budding So was Vogga in Kotor 2. mmmm no wrinkles. The creepiest part of that was you could force female party members to put on lingerie and dance for him.
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Dec 15, 2014 17:15
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Does the EU have any lol explanation for what Uncle Owen is going on about when he says he wants Luke to stay home until after the "harvest"? Don't moisture farmers just pull water from the air with machines? What the hell would there be to harvest other than transport some water containers or something and why would there be any big upswing in the form of a harvest season? I know it's just a throwaway line to explain RELUCTANT HERO. But I remember how the EU went all nuts with some ridiculous explanation for why Han Solo talking about doing the Kessel Run in whatever parsecs totally made sense because he took a shortcut or some crazy bullshit. I know the EU just wouldn't be able to leave well enough alone.
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Dec 15, 2014 17:27
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dog buttz posted:So was Vogga in Kotor 2. mmmm no wrinkles. The creepiest part of that was you could force female party members to put on lingerie and dance for him. That was a necessary part of robbing his vault as I recall.
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Dec 15, 2014 17:28
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Chomp8645 posted:Does the EU have any lol explanation for what Uncle Owen is going on about when he says he wants Luke to stay home until after the "harvest"? Don't moisture farmers just pull water from the air with machines? What the hell would there be to harvest other than transport some water containers or something and why would there be any big upswing in the form of a harvest season? Well someone's gotta carry the buckets. But really, yeah, that's stupid. Chomp8645 posted:But I remember how the EU went all nuts with some ridiculous explanation for why Han Solo talking about doing the Kessel Run in whatever parsecs totally made sense because he took a shortcut or some crazy bullshit. I know the EU just wouldn't be able to leave well enough alone. This one actually makes a little bit of sense even though it totally doesn't. Parsecs are a unit of distance and he shaved a few off by flying dangerously close to the maw, a cluster of black holes. So basically he flew in a straighter line than everybody else and getting spaghettified.
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Dec 15, 2014 17:30
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Chomp8645 posted:Does the EU have any lol explanation for what Uncle Owen is going on about when he says he wants Luke to stay home until after the "harvest"? Don't moisture farmers just pull water from the air with machines? What the hell would there be to harvest other than transport some water containers or something and why would there be any big upswing in the form of a harvest season? Wookieepedia says that moisture farmers also grew crops underground. So, uhh, I guess that's the harvest. Not as bad as parsecs, but still pretty much just making crap up.
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Dec 15, 2014 17:34
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Underground crops? Tattoine is basically dwarf fortress? Also unclo owen hired someone to help with the harvest after Luke was gone, and that one was.... Darth Raynebough!
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Dec 15, 2014 17:41
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Yolomon Wayne posted:Also unclo owen hired someone to help with the harvest after Luke was gone, and that one was.... Darth Raynebough!
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Dec 15, 2014 17:43
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Dux Supremus posted:Hard to hire people when you're a smoldering skeleton. And who do you think made them skeletons? Ha? HA?!
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Dec 15, 2014 17:45
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Yolomon Wayne posted:Underground crops? Tattoine is basically dwarf fortress? Yeah iono. They could have gone with "one season a year, there is a slight increase in atmospheric moisture, so the manually-changed filters have to be swapped out and cleaned more often" or something. Nope, entire underground farms.
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Dec 15, 2014 18:31
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https://www.yahoo.com/movies/natalie-portman-says-mike-nichols-was-her-savior-105273249347.html George really is spectacular at ruining careers.
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Dec 15, 2014 19:23
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Lord of Pie posted:The Star Trek books have one where Kirk gets into a three stooges pie fight with a bunch of Klingons and it's still less ridiculous than the Star Wars EU even though it was actively trying to be. I Would Like To Know More!
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Dec 15, 2014 21:01
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SirPhoebos posted:I Would Like To Know More! William Shatner lent his name to/wrote a series of books where Captain Kirk is magically resurrected and goes on to fight the Borg and effortlessly beat them. The Star Trek EU is completely self-aware and revels in it, making everything they do entertaining at the least.
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Dec 15, 2014 21:11
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SirPhoebos posted:I Would Like To Know More!
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Dec 15, 2014 21:12
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dog buttz posted:
All that theorycrafting about the kessel-run just goes to show how amazingly tonedeaf nerds generally are. That whole scene is Han Solo conning Obi-Wan and Luke out of their money because he's clocked them as a couple of rubes. Which they are. An old man who hasn't been off the planet in 25 years and a kid who's never set foot in a bar before. "Ever heard of the Millenium Falcon?" Of course they haven't heard of the loving Millenium Falcon, but when he puts it like that it has to be a pretty famous ship, right? "Does the Kessel-run in 18 parsecs" Boy that sure sounds fast! This ship must be amazing! There's no such thing as "The kessel-run". Sure, they retconned in a planet called Kessel later, but it was more likely just the brand of space-peanuts or whatever he was eating with his space-beer. Or the name of the prostitute he went and saw last night. And they agree to the first price he mentions. He would have taken them off the planet for a third of that price with a bit of bargaining. Haggling must lead to the dark side or something. And the ship's hyperdrive (arguably a pretty critical part) fails, what, twice? QED: The Millenium Falcon is an old piece of poo poo and Han Solo is an rear end in a top hat conman. Mind you, that doesn't make the films worse. In fact it make them more interesting that a main character is such an anti-hero and his ship is so unreliable. But I guess nerds got to mythologize something as the fastest or the bestest like they're a bunch of five-year-olds.
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Dec 15, 2014 21:26
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Pondex posted:QED: The Millenium Falcon is an old piece of poo poo and Han Solo is an rear end in a top hat conman who shot first. Fixed that for you.
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Dec 15, 2014 21:35
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ManMythLegend posted:Return of the Jedi was better than The Empire Strikes Back. Controversial but true opinions ITT
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Dec 15, 2014 21:35
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Sammus posted:Fixed that for you. Of course he did. Don't even get me started.
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Dec 15, 2014 21:41
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I like that take on han solo more than the nerd one. Though i think no matter what his ship is supposed to be stupid fast
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Dec 15, 2014 21:45
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Fetus Tree posted:Though i think no matter what his ship is supposed to be stupid fast Being a smuggler-ship, it stands to reason that it is. It's not a fast, reliable ship though. 
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Dec 15, 2014 21:51
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