bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

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QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

How had I not heard of this before

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/bitcoin-erotic-novel-king-bitcoin/

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/bitcoin-erotic-novel-king-bitcoin/ posted:

There�s nothing sexier than bitcoins, right? Right?

If digital cryptocurrency already has you feeling all hot and bothered, there�s a new erotic novel about bitcoins that may be more than you can handle. It�s called King of Bitcoin, and it�s dubbed unsuitable for readers below age 17 because of its explicit sex scenes.

Cha-ching.

Over on SmashWords, ebook author Kayleen Knight is selling her 10,000-word novel about 19-year-old Atlas Fawkes, a condescending Bitcoin miner who survives a global financial collapse in 2019 only to become fabulously wealthy thanks to his smart lack of faith in fiat currency.

Yes, 10,000 words about that�and sex!

The first line of the novel shows Brad, a popular kid with a cheerleader girlfriend, mocking Atlas�s passion: �Bitcoins? Buttcoins more like!�

Atlas is a patronizing, free market-fetishizing lunatic who suffers the world�s insults in the opening of the book before becoming, we assume, a sexual king in the imminent post-dollar apocalyptic hellscape. We have to assume about the rest of the book because King of Bitcoin�s free sample ended with Atlas crying on the floor as his mining rig caught fire. It seemed like too satisfying an ending to ruin with 9,000 more words.

Knight, the author of this opus, is not new to ebook publishing. She�s written titles such as Cougars Like It Hard, Cougars Like �Em Young, and Cougars Like It Dirty. As if that wasn�t enough, she�s also got a four-part series about demons and a how-to book on exhibitionism in her arsenal.

Now, with King of Bitcoin, Kayleen Knight�s star turn has finally come. It�ll only cost you $3.95�no, you can�t buy the book in bitcoins�for 10,000 words of prime reddit.com/r/circlejerk material.

All that�s missing is a fedora.

BUY BUY BUY

# ? Dec 30, 2014 09:14

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 12:44

Alliterate Addict: Jul 10, 2012; dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes

QuarkJets posted:

How had I not heard of this before

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/bitcoin-erotic-novel-king-bitcoin/

BUY BUY BUY

POST POST POST

# ? Dec 30, 2014 09:27

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Wasnt the author a goon or commissioned by goons?

# ? Dec 30, 2014 09:45

rotor: Jun 11, 2001; classic case of pineapple on pizzadog derangement syndrome

FCKGW posted:

goddamit the op specifically forbids galtse does no one read the wiki any more?

do not post long galt

# ? Dec 30, 2014 09:47

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

rotor posted:

do not post long galt

what is long galt

# ? Dec 30, 2014 10:10

a cyberpunk goose: May 21, 2007

Alan Smithee posted:

what is long galt

it has twice the bit width of regular galt

# ? Dec 30, 2014 10:11

Herman Merman: Jul 6, 2008

QuarkJets posted:

How had I not heard of this before

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/bitcoin-erotic-novel-king-bitcoin/

It was advertised in the gray thread a while ago, I think the author is a goon. Another goon did a dramatic reading.

# ? Dec 30, 2014 10:56

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

yeah it's p. old
there's a nice reading here http://m.soundcloud.com/king-of-bitcoin

# ? Dec 30, 2014 11:02

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

# ? Dec 30, 2014 11:08

dont skimp on the shrimp: Apr 23, 2008

QuarkJets posted:

How had I not heard of this before

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/bitcoin-erotic-novel-king-bitcoin/

BUY BUY BUY

atlas shagged

# ? Dec 30, 2014 11:10

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

Alan Smithee posted:

the only moral regulation is my regulation

# ? Dec 30, 2014 12:06

Weatherman: Jul 30, 2003; WARBLEKLONK

Alan Smithee posted:

what is long galt

for ~~years~~ ~~months~~ ~~weeks~~ ~~days~~ ~~hours~~ some minutes you have been asking: what is long galt? but since router dropped the hammer on long galt, you will never know

Weatherman fucked around with this message at 12:27 on Dec 30, 2014

# ? Dec 30, 2014 12:24

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

Weatherman posted:

router dropped the hammer

my router only has BNC network connectors.

# ? Dec 30, 2014 13:14

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

QuarkJets posted:

How had I not heard of this before

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/bitcoin-erotic-novel-king-bitcoin/

BUY BUY BUY

wait, so is this the one with satoshi and a time machine and "negative rape", or are there *two* bitcoin erotic fanfics?

# ? Dec 30, 2014 13:15

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

You should transcribe the speeches from the movie ROTOR and make that your new thing

# ? Dec 30, 2014 13:16

Erenthal: Jan 1, 2008; A relaxing walk in the woods; Grimey Drawer

goddamnedtwisto posted:

wait, so is this the one with satoshi and a time machine and "negative rape", or are there *two* bitcoin erotic fanfics?

different one, written by some complete nutjob german

http://k.lenz.name/LB/?p=9989

EDIT:

the highlight, which is still golden

totally not a kiddy diddler posted:

�What�s �negative rape�?� Satoshi asked.

�Just what you might think it is. What you and we call rape is forcing somebody to have sex even if they don�t want it. Negative rape is forcing someone not to have sex, even if they and their prospective partner do want it. It is a very common problem in your society. Two people want to get it on but some third party forces them to stop. This of course is a great way to assert power for that third party. It takes a lot of power to override the natural sex drive,� Angel explained.

Erenthal fucked around with this message at 13:37 on Dec 30, 2014

# ? Dec 30, 2014 13:34

Dubstep Jesus: Jun 27, 2012; by exmarx

the person writing that still lives with their parents and is also probably like 17

i don't want to think about the other reasons the person may have wrote that

# ? Dec 30, 2014 15:21

Erenthal: Jan 1, 2008; A relaxing walk in the woods; Grimey Drawer

slogsdon posted:

the person writing that still lives with their parents and is also probably like 17

i don't want to think about the other reasons the person may have wrote that

if he's seventeen then he's lived a rough life

# ? Dec 30, 2014 15:24

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

rotor posted:

do not post long galt

# ? Dec 30, 2014 15:24

Owlofcreamcheese: May 22, 2005; Can't post for 9 years!; Buglord

This is the best chart

https://www.tradingview.com/v/MW7ZZW0C/

# ? Dec 30, 2014 15:47

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

What's the I cannot believe what i wrote it quote from? I remember he's Russian and that's it

# ? Dec 30, 2014 15:48

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

Weatherman posted:

imageine two hands (one wearing a ring), stretching an anus, for eternity

theflyingexecutive posted:

joke's on you, ive been doing this and my penis is 87 inches long

# ? Dec 30, 2014 15:54

Alliterate Addict: Jul 10, 2012; dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes

Owlofcreamcheese posted:

This is the best chart

https://www.tradingview.com/v/MW7ZZW0C/

i don't know what's worse, the idea that someone just scribbled all over a chart or that there's actually someone somewhere who thinks that this is a logical way of thinking

# ? Dec 30, 2014 15:57

LongDarkNight: Oct 25, 2010; It's like watching the collapse of Western civilization in fast forward.; Oven Wrangler

remember when bitcoin was the apex predator of currencies :v:

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:10

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

LongDarkNight posted:

remember when bitcoin was the currency of sexual predators

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:14

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Ursine Asylum posted:

i don't know what's worse, the idea that someone just scribbled all over a chart or that there's actually someone somewhere who thinks that this is a logical way of thinking

it's a graph of the light cone that you get when a bitcoin falls into a black hole

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:16

sinekumquat: Jun 12, 2005; the most dangerous philosopher in the west; College Slice

Ursine Asylum posted:

i don't know what's worse, the idea that someone just scribbled all over a chart or that there's actually someone somewhere who thinks that this is a logical way of thinking

traders know it's all bullshit but the fact that so many people believe in it, makes the market behave in that way.

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:19

FCKGW: May 21, 2006

Alan Smithee posted:

What's the I cannot believe what i wrote it quote from? I remember he's Russian and that's it

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:32

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

are bitcoin faucets even still a thing?

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:34

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

Alan Smithee posted:

thx now I have to walk around the office with this massive boner

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:36

FCKGW: May 21, 2006

not really

"Used to gives bitcoins out for free to each visitor. IP addresses that receive bitcoins were recorded, so that bitcoins were given only once to each address. It was operated by Gavin Andresen, however it is not functioning as of Jan 30 2013."

the ones still around are like "answer this quiz or click these popups for free bitcoin"

# ? Dec 30, 2014 16:38

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

make a dumb reddit post for free bit coin

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:06

wynott dunn: Aug 9, 2006; What is to be done?

Who or what can challenge, and stand a chance at beating, the corporate juggernauts dominating the world?

atlas shagged and got hosed in the butt

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:16

Wild EEPROM: Jul 29, 2011; oh, my, god. Becky, look at her bitrate.

atlas winked.

I named my rear end hole atlas

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:21

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

did anyone say atlas shaggared yet

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:30

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

i still have a book in my kindle library called "wesley crusher, teenage gently caress machine." i have yet to read it

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:31

TVarmy: Sep 11, 2011; like food and water, my posting has no intrinsic value

∆∆∆∆ it's a great novella. Free audio book is here: http://thefpl.us/also-made/wctfm

can we still post ceiling galt and grumpy galt, or are all lolgalts banned? I just saw a delightful image of a sweatshop with the text "INVISIBLE HAND OF THE FREE MARKET."

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:38

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

As a Millennial I posted:

i still have a book in my kindle library called "wesley crusher, teenage gently caress machine." i have yet to read it

meow solo owns

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:44

ElectricMucus: Feb 9, 2013

https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=908295.0

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:53

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 12:44

Robawesome: Jul 22, 2005

As a recent college grad who's never had healthcare, is anyone seeking to disrupt healthcare with the BlockChain? Distributed wealth sharing for those with illnesses who can't afford it? (self.Bitcoin)

submitted 7 minutes ago by SMcKie

Not quite sure how it would work. But a P2P lending system similar to BTCjam where you can get health assistance crowdfunded by others, with the option to pay back to the lenders or a lender can opt to not be paid back.

Why not kill two birds with one stone?

# ? Dec 30, 2014 17:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

«‹›944 »

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/bitcoin-erotic-novel-king-bitcoin/ posted:

QuarkJets posted:

FCKGW posted:

rotor posted:

Alan Smithee posted:

QuarkJets posted:

QuarkJets posted:

Alan Smithee posted:

Zom Aur posted:

Alan Smithee posted:

Weatherman posted:

QuarkJets posted:

goddamnedtwisto posted:

totally not a kiddy diddler posted:

slogsdon posted:

rotor posted:

Weatherman posted:

theflyingexecutive posted:

Owlofcreamcheese posted:

LongDarkNight posted:

Ursine Asylum posted:

Ursine Asylum posted:

Alan Smithee posted:

Alan Smithee posted:

haveblue posted:

As a Millennial I posted: