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Decrepus posted:How do you talk to someone using parenthesis like that, I didn't learn that in school. That's when you put your hands around your mouth to cup the sound toward someone's ear. Seriously what is with these dudes delivering William Henry Harrison inauguration speeches and their apparent audience just loving stands there and takes it
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Jan 7, 2015 13:14
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That cop would have shot him halfway through the speech.
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Jan 7, 2015 14:29
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sweeperbravo posted:delivering William Henry Harrison inauguration speeches Alas, none of them died of pneumonia afterwards.
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Jan 7, 2015 14:32
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Hoho that oafish client ihm gurrr image dump of these stories http://imgur.com/gallery/TkGjP
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Jan 7, 2015 16:42
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That looks like that awful loving clientsfromhell blog.
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Jan 7, 2015 16:49
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It is.
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Jan 7, 2015 17:28
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http://www.cracked.com/article_21878_6-ways-my-real-kung-fu-training-was-crazier-than-any-movie.html Yeah I know cracked is easy pickings but.
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Jan 7, 2015 17:51
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A classic Troper tale:muthafuckin TROPERS posted:The second involves a mugger on the NYC subway late at night. The guy pulled a knife on me, and stabbed my right shoulder when I refused to hand over my wallet by saying, "I have no intention of giving you my money. It's bad enough I pay taxes!" I clamped down on the pain long enough to pull the knife out of my shoulder, give the guy a Kubrick Stare over the tops of my glasses, and ask, "Did it ever occur to you that I might be left-handed?" I then drove the knife into his shoulder, broke the blade off, and got off at the next stop to get my shoulder stitched and report the incident to the NYPD. I can't roll my eyes hard enough. The one-liners, the Tropes In Caps shoehorned in, not to mention how ridiculous it is to pull out a knife from a stab wound and then use it. Big Grunty Secret has a new favorite as of 18:09 on Jan 7, 2015 |
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Jan 7, 2015 17:55
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Where the gently caress are you goons finding those troper tales, I thought TV Tropes was just to index dumb poo poo about videogames and furry fanfic.
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Jan 7, 2015 18:01
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It was also awfully considerate of the thug just letting go of the knife once he rammed it into the dude's shoulder. And the letting him go after the revenge stabbing.
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Jan 7, 2015 18:02
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Japanese Phone Box posted:Where the gently caress are you goons finding those troper tales, I thought TV Tropes was just to index dumb poo poo about videogames and furry fanfic. Haha no, tropers love making up poo poo about themselves. It's on the forums that go with the site iirc? Though it has been discouraged in recent times I think. They still have us gems like the "that kid is inhuman" line. 
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Jan 7, 2015 18:04
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Big Grunty Secret posted:A classic Troper tale: what really happened: he poo poo his pants and gave the guy his wallet.
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Jan 7, 2015 18:05
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Darth Freddy posted:http://www.cracked.com/article_21878_6-ways-my-real-kung-fu-training-was-crazier-than-any-movie.html quote:We got off light; some of the other types of Iron Body training involve putting spears between a wall and your neck (with the pointy ends jabbing you in the windpipe) and then pushing forward to bend the spears with your throat. He falls for the classic BS. Spear-bending demonstrations are little more than stage magic. If they used straight, sharp spears, they'd be dead. They use blunt spears with really long poles that have tons of give to them, so they can bend them, and they place them in a special part of the neck. You still have to be a pretty tough badass, absolutely, but its not like you're a magic superhero who can hold sharp metal by your neck, and the fact that the author falls for this shows how completely full of poo poo the rest of the article is. This isn't some old kung-fu master they're interviewing, its some tourist. quote:On the opposite end of the spectrum are the Qing Gong exercises, or what we called Light Body. They are basically a form of badass Taoist parkour that involve a lot of running up walls like Jackie Chan. That on the other hand I totally believe, because I did that kind of poo poo myself when I was a teenager. Parkour was all the rage. Running up walls isn't really hard as long as they've got some friction to them and you have a running start. If they're slightly sloped like in the video, its super super easy. quote:We also did less-extreme stuff, like meditating in rivers or under waterfalls. Basically, picture any cliched kung fu training montage you've ever seen, then stretch it out over a year. poo poo that actually happened: Tourist pays money to monks so he can sit under a waterfall for a year. Thinks he knows kung-fu. quote:I concentrated mostly on Wudang Sword training. One day, I was talking with one of the teachers at the school about silly Hong Kong movies and how they always feature a wise old hermit that teaches the main character some secret martial arts technique. To my surprise, the teacher asked if I'd like to meet that wise old hermit and learn his secret martial arts technique. Apparently, it is not considered "kung fu" to giggle and clap like a schoolgirl getting a pony for Christmas.  Okay wow, this article is a goldmine of STDH.
Zaphod42 has a new favorite as of 18:07 on Jan 7, 2015 |
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Jan 7, 2015 18:05
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Kurtofan posted:what really happened: he poo poo his pants and gave the guy his wallet. Or: he saw a shady looking dude and imagined how he would react if the guy tried to mug him.
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Jan 7, 2015 18:08
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drat that cracked story just keeps on going, its almost like he's trying to disguise the world's most STDH story (poorly)quote:One time, my friends and I were drinking at a bar in the city. A guy from a rival school was also there, really getting into people's faces. A friend of mine told him to relax and offered to buy him a drink, so naturally, after being offered friendship and free booze, he flipped the hell out. All of the sudden, he and his entourage were standing around our table. We got everyone outside to the parking lot where I was trying to calm everyone down. Then he whipped out a big-rear end knife and sliced my forearm all the way to the bone. After he cut me, he turned around and held the knife up to my friend's face. Thankfully, by then a crowd had formed around us and someone pulled the crazy guy off my friend ... but not before an equally crazy taxi driver tried to antagonize the situation even further by going around and handing out bats and boards.No, I don't know why he had those in his trunk, but seeing as these sort of scraps happen quite often in that area, I'm guessing that provoking kung fu brawls between rival schools was that guy's version of Monday Night Football.  None of this makes any goddamned sense.
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Jan 7, 2015 18:12
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Edit - woops, thread moved on.
FrozenVent has a new favorite as of 18:23 on Jan 7, 2015 |
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Jan 7, 2015 18:21
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Zaphod42 posted:You still have to be a pretty tough badass, absolutely Nope, it's easy enough that untrained ~60 year old women can do it as part of faith/self-help convention magic shows. You don't put the blade on your loving windpipe like the article says, it goes into a little crevice of bone. I'm pretty sure I saw it as part of a random Randi debunking video, but I'm not going to dig it up right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ-qnjkanoM
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Jan 7, 2015 19:29
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Darth Freddy posted:http://www.cracked.com/article_21878_6-ways-my-real-kung-fu-training-was-crazier-than-any-movie.html How to read Cracked: 1) Bookmark http://www.cracked.com/blog/author/seanbaby/ 2) Check every couple of months 3) Be disappointed that "every couple of months" is still more frequently than he writes articles.
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Jan 7, 2015 19:49
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Darth Freddy posted:http://www.cracked.com/article_21878_6-ways-my-real-kung-fu-training-was-crazier-than-any-movie.html This is a pro-click, some of the best classic STDH I've read in a while. Far better then NAR etc.
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Jan 7, 2015 19:57
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Big Grunty Secret posted:
...and then I broke all the mugger's pencils, except the one I had to get my friend to break for me, and the teacher was a mile ahead but said I was INHUMAN!!
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Jan 7, 2015 20:03
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Big Grunty Secret posted:A classic Troper tale:
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Jan 7, 2015 20:13
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Zaphod42 posted:drat that cracked story just keeps on going, its almost like he's trying to disguise the world's most STDH story (poorly) I feel like I've read that story or a very similar one years ago in a Vice article about how high school rivalries in <Asian city> were so intense that people would get into massive brawls if two rival groups wound up at the same bar on a Friday night so not only is this a terrible stdh article it's not even an original stdh article.
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Jan 7, 2015 20:45
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cyberia posted:not only is this a terrible stdh article it's not even an original stdh article. It's really just an std. re:Clients from Hell, I feel like I remember some halcyon days where the stuff posted there was actually pretty funny and believable, before it got tied up and dragged to poo poo by people relentlessly making poo poo up for the sweet, sweet e-peen cred.
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Jan 7, 2015 21:22
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From the "Ask me about being a thief" thread:a super badass thief like the kind in the movies posted:Not every time, most of the time they don't notice. any loss prevention stops following you once you hit a Point of sale, so I usually roll through the self checkout and then go to the door. I've had people yell at me when it's gone a little sour and i've been noticed. I had a female customer 40s fat mother try to stop me because NO ONE STEALS FROM MUH FAVORITE TARGET. I told her if she touched me I would punch her into paralysis and continued on my merry way. Terrific, here's another: LeoMarr posted:I actually had a cashier run out and Hi-5 me and say that he's never seen his manager more mad that I walked out and the manager was always toting "No one steals from my store they're too afraid". Yeah no. Sorry brah your 65 inch waist doesn't scare me. silencekit has a new favorite as of 21:46 on Jan 7, 2015 |
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Jan 7, 2015 21:33
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sweeperbravo posted:re:Clients from Hell, I feel like I remember some halcyon days where the stuff posted there was actually pretty funny and believable, before it got tied up and dragged to poo poo by people relentlessly making poo poo up for the sweet, sweet e-peen cred. Yeah the early ones were all totally believable examples of people not understanding a certain profession, being unreasonable in demands, etc. But pretty small chuckles, it was more about shared experiences working in some fields, and venting frustration. But now its just people trying to one-up each other with the craaaaziest experience so its all bs.
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Jan 7, 2015 21:57
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While the ones I've read do get pretty far into STDH territory, some of them do touch rather close to home. If you've ever worked under the kind of manager that takes "no" personally, then you can end up in situations like this (until you either grow a spine and/or quit) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg
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Jan 7, 2015 22:13
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From Imgur front page today: http://imgur.com/gallery/cquBU  quote:I am that male customer. I was minding my own business at McDonald's this morning while getting my breakfast. I don't normally eat McDonald's, but I really wanted some biscuits and gravy today. I decided to get some hashbrowns because 2 for $1 hashbrowns are glorious. My order came up and I went to go get some ketchup for my delicious golden treats, only to find that the self serve dispenser was empty. noproblem.jpg. I walk up to the counter and ask the nice girl working, "Excuse me, may I have a couple packets of ketchup please?" She responds, "Yes sir, here you go!" With a smile on her face. Wild super-blogging-feminazi appears! She says to the girl, "You don't have to call him sir, he doesn't own you." She then turns to me and says, "You shouldn't come up here expecting that she serve your every need. She's not here for you to take advantage of. Men like you should stop spreading the rape culture mindset and making it worse for women everywhere." The girl behind the counter looked mortified. At that point was when I burst into laughter, and walked away. I wanted to let her have a piece of my mind, but breakfast was calling and I was already running late for work. No more than two minutes had passed by and she already had her phone out, no doubt blogging about her "traumatic experience and how she overcame the injustice and saved a poor girl who didn't know any better." She stormed out of McDonald's without even getting food. This crap is getting out of control. I just wanted ketchup to be given to me by someone who is paid to provide me with food and food accessories when I hand them money. tl;dr - Was yelled at by a feminazi for asking a girl working at McDonald's for ketchup. The poster is also commenting about how he is for feminism but this feminist nazi man-hating misandry has to stop! He's also replying to every single comment because it's a 100% made up story and he's desperate for attention.
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Jan 7, 2015 22:18
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Japanese Phone Box posted:Where the gently caress are you goons finding those troper tales, I thought TV Tropes was just to index dumb poo poo about videogames and furry fanfic. troper tales was a section of the site for people to tell stories of how tropes appeared in their own lives. the result was a lot of people talking about the time they beat people up with their Badass Longcoats so the section was deep-sixed and is no longer accessible.
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Jan 7, 2015 22:20
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kazil posted:From Imgur front page today: He doesn't understand that his ability to dismissively walk away laughing from the situation is evidence of his privileged status in the patriarchy  corn in the bible posted:troper tales was a section of the site for people to tell stories of how tropes appeared in their own lives. the result was a lot of people talking about the time they beat people up with their Badass Longcoats so the section was deep-sixed and is no longer accessible. I'm sure back years ago when they first began allowing "real life examples" on TV Tropes, they had no idea that they were planting the seeds of an abominable fruit.
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Jan 7, 2015 22:29
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Sentient Data posted:While the ones I've read do get pretty far into STDH territory, some of them do touch rather close to home. If you've ever worked under the kind of manager that takes "no" personally, then you can end up in situations like this (until you either grow a spine and/or quit) softwaredeveloping.wav 
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Jan 7, 2015 22:32
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kazil posted:From Imgur front page today: "I bet that feminist bitch is posting on the internet about this right now! She didn't even buy anything!"
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Jan 7, 2015 23:45
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Needs more spermjacking.
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Jan 8, 2015 00:09
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kazil posted:From Imgur front page today: This story actually reminds me of that completely real mentally ill person. Lena Kochman. She's literally paranoid and thinks evil patriarchy is out there to get her wherever she goes outside. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYl68KipxeM He's probably seen one of her videos and decided to make this STDH. Or he's actually met her or someone crazy just like her. Either way, the story sounds mildly plausible if only because he didn't own her with some hard MRA truths to be applauded by other customers.
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Jan 8, 2015 01:01
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corn in the bible posted:troper tales was a section of the site for people to tell stories of how tropes appeared in their own lives. the result was a lot of people talking about the time they beat people up with their Badass Longcoats so the section was deep-sixed and is no longer accessible. Luckily this is the internet and nothing ever really goes away
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Jan 8, 2015 01:17
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Paladinus posted:This story actually reminds me of that completely real mentally ill person. Lena Kochman. She's literally paranoid and thinks evil patriarchy is out there to get her wherever she goes outside. That woman has 100+ posts on her blogspot and it's only for the current year. And like every 10th post is "Please, nobody ever hack my phone."
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Jan 8, 2015 03:08
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Rick_Hunter posted:That woman has 100+ posts on her blogspot and it's only for the current year. It took me too long to grasp the meaning of this. Wow.
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Jan 8, 2015 03:33
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Rick_Hunter posted:That woman has 100+ posts on her blogspot and it's only for the current year. And like every 10th post is "Please, nobody ever hack my phone." A startling amount of them are reports on coughs she hears. This is..something else. Good grief.
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Jan 8, 2015 04:20
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kirbysuperstar posted:A startling amount of them are reports on coughs she hears. This is..something else. Good grief. quote:The next pictures are of notes from the hospital's medical doctors, from October 4 to October 26, 2014. Well, at least she's somewhere she can get help.
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Jan 8, 2015 04:49
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 Not pictured: mass proposing, airport breaking into applause.  Tape note to wall, take photo for the Internet, immediately remove note and skulk away.
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Jan 8, 2015 04:50
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unfortunatley
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Jan 8, 2015 05:26
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