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Enjoy my quick and dirty translation: https://www.njuz.net NJUZ SPECIAL Free Copy Number 02256, year V Thursday, 8th January 2015. Founded 10/10/2010 Extremists in fear of excessive use of humor against them Terrorists panic in expectation of reprisal from satirical websites Photo caption: Terrorists still holding out hope they will emerge from this fight as winners. Terrorist organizations who hailed the attack on the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris admit they fear reprisal which could ensue from satirical papers and websites around the world. "The attack on Charlie Hebdo was provoked by the magazine's writing and nobody should get too upset about it", says for Njuz the terrorist who wished to remain anonymous. "We see that after the event emerged a worldwide anti-terrorist hysteria which could lead to unforeseen consequences to our members and whole organization. Satirical websites have already began attacks on our feelings, and I am afraid that campaign will culminate in the following days. What will happen to all of us if a new caricature of Mohammed or our leader appears I cannot even think about. Satirists are well know for their brutality and frequent use of excessive humor which leaves innumerable victims behind it, frequently affecting young, innocent terrorists" our source says. Despite justified fear caused by satirists, terrorists are convinced they will emerge from this fight as winners. "Although the struggle looks hopeless now we will continue our holy war against satirists. Behind their brutality hides ordinary cowardice because all can see that they attack with pen and pencil men armed with just rifles and bombs", the terrorist says resignedly. Suspects in the journalist killing expect well deserved privileges The attackers on Charlie Hebdo are hoping they will be greeted by 72 virgins in prison Photo caption: Suspected terrorists can't wait for the prison virgins Terrorists Said and Cherif Kouachi, suspected for breaking into the office of the magazine Charlie Hebdo and killing 12 journalists, are ready to hand themselves into French police under condition they are promised that 72 virgins will be waiting for them in prison./ Brothers Kouachi contacted the police which surrounded them in the vicinity of Crépy-en-Valois and demanded guarantees they will receive fair treatment in case of surrender, and be rewarded for their feat. "Said and Cherif said they could easily have committed suicide and in doing so ensure their virgins, but they have decided for the other variant of their strict rules which decrees that in exceptional cases the virgins don't have to wait for the martyrs in heaven but can do so in prison cells too", said the French police in a short address, without specifying whether they will fulfill the requests of the two terrorists. BREAKING NJUZ: Organized cell of satirists broke into a terrorist camp and assaulted all present by reading texts! Photo caption: Well trained satirists performed an lightning quick operation reading of their texts Organized ten member cell broke into a terrorist camp in the south of Yemen early this morning and assaulted all present by reading their satirical texts and displaying caricatures, Njuz finds out. Satirists, after the lightning quick operation, blasted out of the camp and drove their car in an unknown direction, the pursuit is ongoing. In the course of the attack 12 terrorists succumbed psychically, during retreat the masked satirists also attacked several camels which they encountered on the way to their car. Eyewitnesses say the satirists seemed very well trained and that the whole operation was well organized, and that the attackers called the camp directors and head instructors by name. "It seems they knew at what time the camp management hold collegium, which is typically attended by the most important terrorists from this part of Yemen, and used that to destroy the core of the camp with exceedingly insidious reading of their blasphemous texts", declared for Njuz a source high up in the investigation. In south Yemen security measures were elevated to the highest level, special protection was given to schools for training suicide bombers and camps for studying the application of plastic explosive in peacetime. Terrorist discovered he could also leave a bad comment on the website Photo caption: Extremist discovered he did not have to kill for his ideals Twenty-six year old M.O, who after several months in Syria returned to his native Paris last month, discovered today that it is possible to react to the content of some web portal just by leaving negative comments. In his own admission this has totally changed the way in which he looked at media so far. "Why has nobody in ISIS' camp told me that when I see a text I don't like and which hurts my feelings I could leave some comment underneath and not immediately kill the authors? This is so genius, whoever thought of it" wonders this terrorist who says he will, instead of a planned attack on the offices of one magazine, now litter their texts with comments like "this is incorrect!", "what idiocy!" and "gently caress you!". Man committed suicide because he could not bear torture by satirists anymore Although unwillingly, terrorists admit they may still not have recovered from the last assault of satirists on their organization. "It is not easy to endure the blows we are dealt, almost daily, by the humor of our enemies. Some activists have abandoned us now that they have seen how overpowering our enemy is in this war, there was even one recorded case of suicide. Namely, one of our members who was exposed to the torture of satirists and their caricaturists colleagues for an extended period could not carry on and committed suicide. How great was his torment is demonstrated by the way he killed himself, swallowing an excessive amount of pills instead of in a normal way, strapped with explosives in some car or plane", says one shook up terrorist. DISTURBING: Leaked video of the caricaturists erasing the head on a drawing of a fundamentalist! Photo caption: WARNING: Disturbing video! Early this morning a video showing a group of masked caricaturists using a pencil eraser to eras the head on a drawing of an Islamic fundamentalist leaked to Youtube. Before they performed this morbid act the caricaturists read a pronouncement that they sentence the drawing to death by decapitation for all the crimes he committed. "The scary thing was, they took a Staedtler pencil eraser and started erasing the head without a smidgen of empathy. What kind of people are these?", ask himself our correspondent who demanded he remain anonymous for fear that the same fate could befall his drawing too. SaltyJesus fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Jan 8, 2015 |
# ? Jan 8, 2015 23:47 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 20:26 |
Cat Mattress posted:wtf am I reading Edit: Holy crap. Check it out, guys. http://www.isayu.com/ukraine/russian-conspiracy-theory-of-the-day-mainstream-russian-t cinci zoo sniper fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Jan 9, 2015 |
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# ? Jan 8, 2015 23:50 |
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Cat Mattress posted:wtf am I reading This is really weird. You'd think Russia would play safe with human rights for a while just to pose as the victim of sanctions over nothing and all, but here you go. What I assume has happened, no one actually read the list of disorders and approved the whole thing that goes in the category F. E: I mean, disorders like F68 can be legitimately dangerous to have for a driver, but F63-66 obviously can't (unless you consider that trans* people are prone to depressions and suicidal thought due to, well, not being treated well by the society, but it's neither here or there). Ironically, F66.1 is the disorder that causes some gay people to go through different correction therapies in hopes to become straight. Paladinus fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Jan 9, 2015 |
# ? Jan 9, 2015 00:34 |
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Paladinus posted:This is really weird. You'd think Russia would play safe with human rights for a while just to pose as the victim of sanctions over nothing and all, but here you go.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 00:41 |
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HUGE PUBES A PLUS posted:Polish Air Force is on its way to Lithuania to participate in Baltic Air Policing. Those of famous Polish pilots of world war II. The name is on the other tail fin. Such as this one:
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 00:57 |
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A couple of years ago the Russian government banned international adoptions from US couples in response to to some financial sanctions. These people are totally fine with letting thousands of children rot in state orphanages just to get back at the US. In Russias case, always assume malice first.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 01:04 |
waitwhatno posted:A couple of years ago the Russian government banned international adoptions from US couples in response to to some financial sanctions. These people are totally fine with letting thousands of children rot in state orphanages just to get back at the US. Simplifying way too much there, it takes two to tango/ruin the lives of vulnerable children. Two things were happening: 1) Russian orphanages misrepresenting the family/psychological/health background of the children being adopted 2) More than one case of Americans trying to "return" the children, as if they were a defective pair of flip-flops, and more than one case of kids being severely abused or murdered by their adopted parents. Of course the Russian government exploited it for domestic political gain, but everyone does that. And honestly, most international adoptions should be banned--there are plenty of perfectly good orphans* in America and you're more likely to get the truth about their background in the US. If you wouldn't buy a Russian car, you shouldn't adopt a Russian kid. *Orphans may not be white. Many people apparently feel that getting a hosed up white kid is still better than getting a psychologically healthy brown one that already speaks english.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 03:58 |
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Adam Curtis did a fun miniblurb again this year, Russia is kind of central to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcy8uLjRHPM
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 06:54 |
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Swedish opinion in favor of joining NATO up to 33 from 28 percent. Against down to 47 (from 56). http://www.svt.se/nyheter/sverige/okat-stod-for-nato-medlemskap Small sample size though. Cake Smashing Boob fucked around with this message at 07:24 on Jan 9, 2015 |
# ? Jan 9, 2015 07:12 |
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Actually, Rise of the Third Reich's narrative of the Reichstag fire has been disproven by contemporary historians. The current consensus is that van der Lubbe really did set it himself with no outside involvement.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 08:10 |
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The Finnish state news published another monthly "In the Net of Russia" column. I've referenced it before and I kind of hesitate to do it again because I find it hard to believe that there isn't some really selective reading involved here but this thread often lacks examples of Russian news outside of Russia Today, so there you go. Keep in mind that the point of the article is to find Internet publications and blogs from Russia concerning Finland specifically but maybe it's useful for getting the feel of... something. Anyway, the summary:
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 09:40 |
Valiantman posted:Finnish social workers... This is me prefacing this bullet point but do you know how very common it is that Finns steal Russian kids from their mothers for no reasons but national hatred?
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 09:47 |
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I do kind of understand the sentiment that foreigners are "stealing our children". Honestly I'm puzzled that there seems to be very little controversy about the trend of adoptions from Third world countries in general, which are more often than not a way to exploit economic destitution rather than an attempt to relieve it. http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2009/01/08/the-lie-we-love/
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 11:25 |
I was referencing cases when Russians travel to Greater Scandinavia and then child "gets stolen" from family "under pretense of protecting child from abuse".
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 11:33 |
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Valiantman posted:
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 11:35 |
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kalstrams posted:I was referencing cases when Russians travel to Greater Scandinavia and then child "gets stolen" from family "under pretense of protecting child from abuse". And in this case "Russian" means someone with a(n originally) Russian parent, if even that. Child protection services doing their work, and the media picks up cases it can spin into that narrative. You can't take custody of child from someone merely vacationing. Taking into custody is for emergencies or for when nothing else works. The workers don't do that kind of decicions on a whim. Plus, it's horribly expensive compared to pretty much anything. The child protection facilities cost a lot of money, something like hundreds of euros a day per child. Valiantman fucked around with this message at 11:59 on Jan 9, 2015 |
# ? Jan 9, 2015 11:56 |
I should've said emigrated instead of travelled. Either way, it's not to me to be told that Scandinavians just take children from families for shits and giggles or whatever dumb child trafficking stories someone came up with for a bottle of vodka.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 12:03 |
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Cuntpunch posted:Adam Curtis did a fun miniblurb again this year, Russia is kind of central to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcy8uLjRHPM He is also releasing a new 3-hour documenary on the 25th on the subject, I would imagine that Russia and her amazing propaganda machine are going to be a big feature.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 12:59 |
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Cuntpunch posted:Adam Curtis did a fun miniblurb again this year, Russia is kind of central to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcy8uLjRHPM The Surkov bit is the continuation of his written piece from 2012, which is one of the most interesting things written about Russian politics/culture by a Westerner.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 14:05 |
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http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=509_1420572234 but also Am a little confused after watching it. Looks more like something from a David Lynch movie, but I'll try to describe it briefly: "Farai" is something like the show "Cops". The video is from it. A drunken lady (half naked) was trying to breach a door into a basement and was spouting out some crazy talk about Eastern Europe, US and WWIII. The police showed up with the crew. No conclusion unfortunately on how everything ended and I'm not able to find any more details about it. Edit: Ah it seems I've been beaten by TheCoach posted:Turns out the CIA is going to start world war 3 because Alison is upset(first segment in that video) VoltairePunk fucked around with this message at 15:17 on Jan 9, 2015 |
# ? Jan 9, 2015 14:59 |
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Karmalis posted:http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=509_1420572234 Crazy American lady gets drunk in Lithuania. I do wonder though what happened to her to make her behave that way.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 15:15 |
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HUGE PUBES A PLUS posted:
Alcohol and/or drugs. I've seen people flip the most rational minds by doing one or both to an almost overkill level.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 15:18 |
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This has probably been posted before, but here's the Finnish band Leningrad Cowboys performing together with the Red Army choir in '93 at the Senate Square in Helsinki. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHb4Q6hSXEI
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 15:21 |
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HUGE PUBES A PLUS posted:
Policeman grabs her wrist *screams bloody murder* OH MY FACE! MY FACE! I'll have whatever she had.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 15:32 |
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MeLKoR posted:Policeman grabs her wrist
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 15:40 |
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Karmalis posted:Alcohol and/or drugs. I've seen people flip the most rational minds by doing one or both to an almost overkill level. The police officers and the medics were all the picture of calm and patience. You have to be in that line of work though.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 16:10 |
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HUGE PUBES A PLUS posted:The police officers and the medics were all the picture of calm and patience. You have to be in that line of work though. They usually are really calm about drunk women. A lady I know got loving shitfaced, broke some windows in railroad station building, and police drove her home, and helped her go up 3 floors while she shouted at them and acted pretty aggressive. She ended up paying for damages only. A dude would get maced and beat up if he resisted arrest.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 16:18 |
HUGE PUBES A PLUS posted:The police officers and the medics were all the picture of calm and patience. You have to be in that line of work though. People who are irrational (either through emotions, drugs, or mental illness/disability) almost always respond very badly to aggression or attempts to force control. The best way to deal with someone irrational without resorting to physical force is to calmly and carefully negotiate until they want to settle down and surrender. This is something a disturbing number of American officers fail to understand. They're trained to gain control of the situation, and many of them respond to mentally/emotionally disturbed or drunk people with the same aggressive and antagonistic methods that they would use with a rational person they're attempting to intimidate. All it ends up doing is aggravating them into doing something aggressive, which gives the officer a reason to fire. There's good reason why less than 1/100th of a percent of all American officers are killed by gunfire and less than 1% die from any cause at all during their service, but they kill hundreds or potentially thousands of civilians a year.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 19:13 |
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Friendly Tumour posted:This has probably been posted before, but here's the Finnish band Leningrad Cowboys performing together with the Red Army choir in '93 at the Senate Square in Helsinki. Aand there went my evening. If nothing else, everyone will want to see and hear at least Gimme All Your Lovin', starting at 58:45. I mean it. Okay, for your inner slav perhaps Kalinka just before it, too.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 19:19 |
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A really big new MH17 investigation has been released by Correct!v in conjunction with Spiegel, which includes a lot of on ground investigating in Ukraine. They've spoken to people in Snizhne and have found witnesses to the missile launch, visited the locations geolocated in the Bellingcat report that tracked the movements of the Buk on July 17th and confirmed it was all correct, and done lots of additional work. The Correct!v report is here in German and English, and Spiegel has an interactive piece in German here. Few choice quotes quote:Bellingcat investigators based their conclusion on an analysis of photographs of the BUK launcher in Russia and later in the Ukraine. The dents and scratches on the launcher are identical—like a fingerprint. quote:The settlement by the railway embankment consists of flat farm buildings surrounded by fences and walls. Dogs bark. At first there are no people in sight. If someone appears, they immediately go on their way. The people are afraid. “They’ll kill me if I say something,” says one man.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 19:31 |
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Anosmoman posted:I really like the cop. "It will be world war III!" "Ok, we do world war III, no problem." I like this part: quote:Fed many stereotypes about Eastern Europe in the U.S., Allison said the most surprising thing is how helpful and friendly Lithuanians truly are.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 19:59 |
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Valiantman posted:Aand there went my evening. If nothing else, everyone will want to see and hear at least Gimme All Your Lovin', starting at 58:45. Iget a bit sad listening to it. Feels like such a different time now.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 20:31 |
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I'm seeing news reports about Yatsenyuk saying something about "Soviet Union's unjust invasion of Germany". Is it Russian media doing their thing again, and it being reported further, or did he seriously say that?
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 20:53 |
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Brown Moses posted:A really big new MH17 investigation has been released by Correct!v in conjunction with Spiegel, which includes a lot of on ground investigating in Ukraine. They've spoken to people in Snizhne and have found witnesses to the missile launch, visited the locations geolocated in the Bellingcat report that tracked the movements of the Buk on July 17th and confirmed it was all correct, and done lots of additional work. Confirmed it's all correct means you're right, of course. Also, Russians were in Ukraine before August. It's accurate to say though the Russians were in Ukraine from the beginning of the conflict.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 20:53 |
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Smerdyakov posted:Simplifying way too much there, it takes two to tango/ruin the lives of vulnerable children. Two things were happening: quote:Simplifying way too much there, it takes two to tango/ruin the lives of vulnerable children. It's actually not a duo, but a triad. And your entire argument for why international adoption should be banned is, ironically, "simplifying way too much there." Domestic adoptions after Russia banned transnational adoptions to the US did not increase. Since those orphans are stigmatized, native societies will often shun them completely. I don't think "everyone" exploits international adoption for political gain. Especially when one of Russia's reasons for the ban was that Russian children going abroad to America suffered from losing "genofund," because being born in Russia means you are genetically different than all those rabid westerners. Therefore, you're depleting all the Russian bodypolitic or whatever insane excuse they devise.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 21:05 |
my dad posted:I'm seeing news reports about Yatsenyuk saying something about "Soviet Union's unjust invasion of Germany". Is it Russian media doing their thing again, and it being reported further, or did he seriously say that?
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 21:06 |
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Russian special forces stormed a separatist headquarters in Luhansk today. http://podrobnosti.ua/accidents/2015/01/09/1010526.html quote:Russian special forces stormed the headquarters of the terrorists Lugansk Geolocation of Russian camps near the Ukrainian border. HUGE PUBES A PLUS fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Jan 9, 2015 |
# ? Jan 9, 2015 21:16 |
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my dad posted:I'm seeing news reports about Yatsenyuk saying something about "Soviet Union's unjust invasion of Germany". Is it Russian media doing their thing again, and it being reported further, or did he seriously say that? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4xoa7_1QcU I can't hear Yatsenyuk speaking over Russian translation, but it's what the German interpretor says if I understand it correctly.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 21:21 |
HUGE PUBES A PLUS posted:Russian special forces stormed a separatist headquarters in Luhansk today.
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 21:26 |
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Why do the Russians want to kill that separatist leader?
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# ? Jan 9, 2015 21:33 |