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sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

DarkCrawler posted:

And why...why would you smile?

Just, ya know, two normal, average, people with empathy smiling and snuggling under the most iconic symbol of Jewish genocide in the modern world.

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FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Late-breaking statement from the man himself*:

quote:

Gosh, my friends, it sure seems like only yesterday when we were on our way to a crushing victory over the, ah, dark forces of Barack Obama, under whose leadership America’s once-bright future has, um, dimmed, leaving us staring into a bla–

Uh, well, you understand where I’m coming from. “Ann” and I to this day often sit down with our five boys — Tagg, Fritz, Spork, Clog, and (annoyed grunt) — and ask ourselves what happened. They’re growing boys, as you know, and they’ll often scarf down one of “Ann’s” special treats, like unflavored pudding or mayonnaise on white bread. Clog likes his bread toasted, but “Ann” says the shards of toast “feel like machetes” when she tries to swallow it, so it’s plain white bread for us.

I can assure you that our internal campaign figures and computer numbers and whatnot guaranteed a “Mitt” Romney victory — my top advisers assured me of such every time their direct deposit payments hit their checking accounts, and I’m sure they were right on the money. But I suppose some things will have to remain a mystery, like, for example, the exact percentage of our income that “Ann” and I have paid in taxes over the past several years. Only God and Saul, our Israelite accountant, will ever know for sure.

At any rate, while “Ann” and I have made no final decisions about what would be my first real attempt at winning election to the presidency (my first race was merely dabbling, and you’ll recall that my last attempt at the office was undertaken largely against my will, so these should not be counted), I can assure you that we will not be swayed by the opinions of Jennifer Robins at the Washington Post. I plan spend the next few months asking ordinary Americans what I can do to help make their lives better. I’ll go from corporate boardroom to corporate boardroom, from country club to $50,000 a plate gala dinner, to hear from regular folks.

“Regular folks.” Ha! They’re adorable! Many of them, I would imagine, don’t even have elevators for their cars! I guess you’re taking the stairs, Mr. Aston Martin! Oh, gosh, I’m almost giddy today!

These are people who realize that, under a “Mitt” Romney presidency, there would be no ISIS, and Vladimir Putin would know his place. People would be more physically appealing, cancer would surrender to our doctors, and everyone would win the Powerball. That’s the kind of leadership you’ll see from President “Mitt” Romney, and it would be unfair to the American people to deprive them of my own gifts simply because Robert Jefferson at the Washington Post has some problem with me attempting what, again, would really be my first run for the presidency, or political office of any kind, really.

Rest assured that once I have interacted with other human beings in regards to my future plans, I will inform you of same in a timely fashion. Thank you my friends, and God Bless the United States of America!

Mitt “Mitt” Romney
* may not actually be the man himself

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
The 2016 RNC will be held in Cleveland the week of July 18, 2016.

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK
Maybe it's the shadows, maybe it's my mind rebelling at the idea of such oblivious callousness, but Newt and Callista look like they're photo shopped into the picture. There's got to be something good to focus on instead. At least her hair isn't an insane experiment in rigid geometric curves like it usually is?

Stunning Honky
Sep 7, 2004

" . . . "
Good to see conventions bumped up, although watching Romney and especially McCain chafe as they had to wait to spend GE money was fun

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
The last time the RNC was in Cleveland was 1936. Not the party's best election year.

Pinterest Mom
Jun 9, 2009

mooyashi posted:

Good to see conventions bumped up, although watching Romney and especially McCain chafe as they had to wait to spend GE money was fun

Didn't McCain have the opposite problem? He took federal matching funds (with the spending limits that came with it), so he was severely limited in the money he could spend after being the nominee.

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



Joementum posted:

The last time the RNC was in Cleveland was 1936. Not the party's best election year.

FDR would have won that year no matter what, though. Ohio has voted with the winner in every election since 1960, it makes sense for the Republicans to try to pick up swing voters there. It's also a sign that the RNC is interested in a moderate to help win votes in the general, as we've been expecting.

Doctor Candiru
Dec 23, 2004
Umbrella Monkey Sand

katlington posted:

This will be Romneys 3rd attempt, right? The guys thrown away more money on this than the gdp of chad.
Did he spend any of his own money in 2012, though? Like $150,000, through the RNC (which would be a whopping 0.06% of his total wealth, and less than he makes for a single speaking engagement) or something?

Granted, he spent enough of his own in 2008 to make up for that.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
A thought occurred to me today, what if after all the insanity of primary season, there's no candidate and we get a floor fight :getin:

Nintendo Kid
Aug 4, 2011

by Smythe

Raskolnikov38 posted:

A thought occurred to me today, what if after all the insanity of primary season, there's no candidate and we get a floor fight :getin:

I can only imagine that this will lead to people drawing and firing guns on the floor.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Raskolnikov38 posted:

A thought occurred to me today, what if after all the insanity of primary season, there's no candidate and we get a floor fight :getin:

Is this technically possible in todays primary format? I have no idea.

sbaldrick
Jul 19, 2006
Driven by Hate

Chamale posted:

FDR would have won that year no matter what, though. Ohio has voted with the winner in every election since 1960, it makes sense for the Republicans to try to pick up swing voters there. It's also a sign that the RNC is interested in a moderate to help win votes in the general, as we've been expecting.

This would be a smart idea if it was Columbus, but Cleveland is blue as gently caress.

Also Hucks campaign is over before its begun because of the Sasha and Malia hardcore, hardcore right crap.

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Chamale posted:

FDR would have won that year no matter what, though. Ohio has voted with the winner in every election since 1960, it makes sense for the Republicans to try to pick up swing voters there. It's also a sign that the RNC is interested in a moderate to help win votes in the general, as we've been expecting.

It only makes sense if they're also stock piling rabbits' feet, setting up genetically modified 7 leaf clover fields, and aggregating all the data to find 5 sets of 5 counties which have voted with the winner in every presidential election since they joined a union that together form a pentagram with each point being made up of a smaller perfect voting pentagram.

Every election we discover new predictive statistical trivia tidbits and every year around half of those unfailing predictors fail. Except Mrs. Widman's 3rd Grade Class straw poll, that's always right. They even predict the new Lays Potato Chip flavors.

VanSandman posted:

Is this technically possible in todays primary format? I have no idea.

Technically and theoretically. It's almost certainly not going to happen, but it's totally possible. That's why Hillary is getting in good with the Castro brothers, she knows that last time the Texas Latino Mayor/Congressman won.

Gyges fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Jan 15, 2015

Sir Kodiak
May 14, 2007


sbaldrick posted:

This would be a smart idea if it was Columbus, but Cleveland is blue as gently caress.

FiveThirtyEight:

quote:

By holding their convention in Ohio, Republicans may be trying to tip the state in their direction.

Here’s the problem: There is no proof that a convention site has much effect on a state’s voting patterns.

emfive
Aug 6, 2011

Hey emfive, this is Alec. I am glad you like the mummy eating the bowl of shitty pasta with a can of 'parm.' I made that image for you way back when. I’m glad you enjoy it.

Nintendo Kid posted:

I can only imagine that this will lead to people drawing and firing guns on the floor.

I'm imagining a chariot charge except with Rascals.

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

emfive posted:

I'm imagining a chariot charge except with Rascals.

Candidates to right of them,
Candidates to left of them,
Candidates in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with bribe and threat,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the two thousand three hundred and eighty.

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



Gyges posted:

It only makes sense if they're also stock piling rabbits' feet, setting up genetically modified 7 leaf clover fields, and aggregating all the data to find 5 sets of 5 counties which have voted with the winner in every presidential election since they joined a union that together form a pentagram with each point being made up of a smaller perfect voting pentagram.

Every election we discover new predictive statistical trivia tidbits and every year around half of those unfailing predictors fail. Except Mrs. Widman's 3rd Grade Class straw poll, that's always right. They even predict the new Lays Potato Chip flavors.


Technically and theoretically. It's almost certainly not going to happen, but it's totally possible. That's why Hillary is getting in good with the Castro brothers, she knows that last time the Texas Latino Mayor/Congressman won.

Actually, Ohio tends to vote with the winner because it's an important swing state and has demographics representative of the average American state, and in 2012 it was the linchpin state that was statistically the most likely to determine a close election. Winning states like Ohio is exactly how a party wins elections.

sbaldrick posted:

This would be a smart idea if it was Columbus, but Cleveland is blue as gently caress.

This is a good point though, they probably won't strike the right balance to actually get moderate appeal and large protests outside a national convention tend to go badly for the party.

Nintendo Kid
Aug 4, 2011

by Smythe

sbaldrick posted:

This would be a smart idea if it was Columbus, but Cleveland is blue as gently caress.

Also Hucks campaign is over before its begun because of the Sasha and Malia hardcore, hardcore right crap.

Reminder that the RNC in the recent past held conventions in Philadelphia and NYC, both the most left major cities in their respective states. They don't seem to really try to hold conventions places they'll get votes.

Sir Kodiak
May 14, 2007


Chamale posted:

Winning states like Ohio is exactly how a party wins elections.

It's precisely the opposite of this. The winning presidential candidate wins Ohio because Ohio votes like the nation as a whole. Attempting to reverse this process - winning the nation because you win Ohio - is cargo cult politics. At least so far as we're talking about winning Ohio through strategies - such as giving unusual attention to it through a convention - that don't affect the rest of the nation.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



sbaldrick posted:


Also Hucks campaign is over before its begun because of the Sasha and Malia hardcore, hardcore right crap.

Did Huck have a blarg people moment? i just googled it, Huckabee has some nerve giving other people parenting advice.

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Chamale posted:

Actually, Ohio tends to vote with the winner because it's an important swing state and has demographics representative of the average American state, and in 2012 it was the linchpin state that was statistically the most likely to determine a close election. Winning states like Ohio is exactly how a party wins elections.

In 2012 Ohio was ultimately meaningless as Obama could have lost it and still crushed Republican dreams. You can't go in and try and goose the Ohio electoral results by various marginal tricks like holding the convention there and actually expect that to carry across to other swing states. Focusing on Ohio is meaningless unless you're putting out a message that's also dragging Florida and at least another 16 electoral votes along for the ride.

katlington posted:

Did Huck have a blarg people moment? i just googled it, Huckabee has some nerve giving other people parenting advice.

Huck's real problem is that he's staking out an anti-Beyonce position. A person far, far more popular than any Presidential hopeful.

Gyges fucked around with this message at 05:22 on Jan 15, 2015

Nintendo Kid
Aug 4, 2011

by Smythe
In the last 5 conventions, the Republicans lost the state they held the convention in all 5 times, meanwhile the Democrats only lost the state they held the convention in 1 time in their last 5.

Fried Chicken
Jan 9, 2011

Don't fry me, I'm no chicken!

Gyges posted:

It only makes sense if they're also stock piling rabbits' feet, setting up genetically modified 7 leaf clover fields, and aggregating all the data to find 5 sets of 5 counties which have voted with the winner in every presidential election since they joined a union that together form a pentagram with each point being made up of a smaller perfect voting pentagram.

Every election we discover new predictive statistical trivia tidbits and every year around half of those unfailing predictors fail. Except Mrs. Widman's 3rd Grade Class straw poll, that's always right. They even predict the new Lays Potato Chip flavors.

Yep. It always amazes me that grown adults believe these lucky talismans, like "Missouri picks the winner" or "that tiny town in New Hampshire always picks the winner" or any of the "you can't win if you are X" where X is just a thing that coincidentally has not yet been a trait of a winner rather than being a thing that has influence. Its all mysticism and gut feelings rather than looking at the process and identifying key factors, which is double crazy because there is tons of research on what those factors are.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Has Dick Morris seen his shadow yet?

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN fucked around with this message at 05:49 on Jan 15, 2015

woke wedding drone
Jun 1, 2003

by exmarx
Fun Shoe
I've seen that picture before but a thought occurred to me. Couldn't Newt and Callista have you know, worn tourist garb and posed looking up pensively towards the sign?

It's poo poo like this that makes me want to believe Alex Jones.

Jackson Taus
Oct 19, 2011

VanSandman posted:

Is this technically possible in todays primary format? I have no idea.

It's possible, but it'll never happen.

Only if you have a back-and-forth like Obama-Clinton but with a third candidate also pulling some delegates. Basically the problem is that superdelegates, endorsers, and donors are going to jump on a bandwagon the second they see momentum in someone's favor after the first couple of contests. Nobody wants to be the last guy on the bandwagon, and nobody wants to donate money to a candidate who is likely to throw in the towel a week or a month later. So it's only in exceptional circumstances like 2008 where you continue to see two candidates hanging on like that, and even then, those two blew the other candidates away early on.

Plus if the party doesn't want a floor-fight (and it doesn't) it can lean really hard on the superdelegates to come down one way or the other to swing the balance (in the event of a tie) or they can give one of the candidates the moon to get them to drop out.

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

SedanChair posted:

I've seen that picture before but a thought occurred to me. Couldn't Newt and Callista have you know, worn tourist garb and posed looking up pensively towards the sign?

It's poo poo like this that makes me want to believe Alex Jones.

Take a picture OF the gates of Auschwitz. Do not take a picture AT the gates of Auschwitz.

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



Sir Kodiak posted:

It's precisely the opposite of this. The winning presidential candidate wins Ohio because Ohio votes like the nation as a whole. Attempting to reverse this process - winning the nation because you win Ohio - is cargo cult politics. At least so far as we're talking about winning Ohio through strategies - such as giving unusual attention to it through a convention - that don't affect the rest of the nation.

OK, you're right and I was wrong. I was really surprised by that data showing how irrelevant the conventions are to a party's performance in a state.

Warcabbit
Apr 26, 2008

Wedge Regret

Nintendo Kid posted:

Reminder that the RNC in the recent past held conventions in Philadelphia and NYC, both the most left major cities in their respective states. They don't seem to really try to hold conventions places they'll get votes.

As critically, anywhere smaller than NYC, they will seriously mess up the daily commute of tens of thousands of people.

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Warcabbit posted:

As critically, anywhere smaller than NYC, they will seriously mess up the daily commute of tens of thousands of people.

The amount of people who would hold a voting grudge over a daily commute almost half a year before they vote is less than the number of people not voting for your guy because his wife is trying to turn their wife lesbian through the TV. It's probably more that delegates will hate anything smaller than a city big enough for them to do copious amounts of hookers and blow without getting caught because the convention is the only thing going on.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Gyges posted:

Candidates to right of them,
Candidates to left of them,
Candidates in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with bribe and threat,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the two thousand three hundred and eighty.

The charge of the very very heavy brigade

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
If Mitt did get it, who would be his running mate this time?

Can't think of anyone to be honest, as all the usuals have bad mouthed Mitt a lot.

Dominus Vobiscum
Sep 2, 2004

Our motives are multiple, our desires complex.
Fallen Rib


"You say to somebody, you shouldn't go to work before you're what, 14, 16 years of age, fine. You're totally poor. You're in a school that is failing with a teacher that is failing. I've tried for years to have a very simple model. Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work, they would have cash, they would have pride in the schools, they'd begin the process of rising."

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

katlington posted:

Has Dick Morris seen his shadow yet?

Oh gently caress Christie is going to win it.

http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/Dick-Morris-Chris-Christie-2016/2015/01/14/id/618615/

quote:

Asked by “MidPoint” host Ed Berliner to rate Christie’s chances in the event that he runs, Morris said, “None, zero, zip, zilch,”

PupsOfWar
Dec 6, 2013

Christie's secret primary plan is to hit the campaign trail while cosplaying as Billy Bob from Varsity Blues, truck and all.

ain't no point trying to go Texan if you ain't gonna go Full Texan

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


happyhippy posted:

If Mitt did get it, who would be his running mate this time?

Can't think of anyone to be honest, as all the usuals have bad mouthed Mitt a lot.
Can Mitt legally run with one of his sons on the ticket?

sullat
Jan 9, 2012

shadow puppet of a posted:

Can Mitt legally run with one of his sons on the ticket?

As long as they're over 35, sure. They'd just need to take up residence in the San Diego manse before the election, to get around the "different states" rule.

Polygynous
Dec 13, 2006
welp

sullat posted:

As long as they're over 35, sure. They'd just need to take up residence in the San Diego manse before the election, to get around the "different states" rule.

Not that it would really matter if Mitt's running from Massachusetts, right?

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Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
Mitt has residences in California, Utah, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire. I'm not sure which of them he uses as residency for tax purposes, probably none of them (ha ha ha, terrific you guys), but it wouldn't be too hard to shuffle that around if needed.

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