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Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost

Lowly posted:

Content:



I think the STDH is that they both got there at the same time.

I can totally see one of the drivers clowning around like that, although, maybe just not as extravagantly as the writer would have you believe.

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EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Fathis Munk posted:

Well I don't even live in the US :v: I guess French people are compliment stingy. Especially in Paris which does not surprise me!


Americans are really weird compared to the cultural elite here in Europe.

waldo pepper
Mar 18, 2005
Anyone remember a thread here from years and years ago with some chick who worked for a fashion magazine? It was like ask me about working in the fashion industry? She told all these stories about partying in VIP clubs with gorgeous supermodels and described her life as basically sex in the city or something.

I think helldump got involved eventually and it turned out she was just a fat intern for some no-name new zealand magazine and she disappeared. Callietron's bullshit gang stories reminded me of it.

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE


Uh-huh.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

quote:

Ki-Wheezing
Coffee Shop | MN, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars/Scammers

(I often visit a local coffee shop that serves not only coffee items, but also pastries and real fruit smoothies. The menu, however, does not list the fruits included in the smoothies. I have a kiwi allergy.)

Me: “Hi, can I get a tropic blast smoothie and a scone?”

Barista: “Sure thing! That’ll be [price].”

Me: “And does the tropic blast smoothie have any kiwi or kiwi flavoring in it? I’m allergic.”

Barista: “No, none at all! It’ll be right up.”

(My friend and I pay and collect our food and go to sit down. I take a sip and immediately feel my lips tingling and itching, and my tongue feels like it’s getting pinpricks and is swelling. I realize there is kiwi, and I’m having an allergic reaction. Since my reactions aren’t life threatening, just uncomfortable for an hour or so, I bring it back up to get a replacement.)

Me: “Uh, sorry but there is kiwi in this. I’m having a reaction but it’s in control. Can I get a refund or replacement, maybe?”

Barista: “F*** off.”

Me: *shocked* “Excuse me?”

Barista: “You heard me. F*** off. That had got to be the fakest lisp I’ve ever heard, and Jesus is watching you lie to get things for free. You even drank half of it!”

(The ‘fake lisp’ is from my swollen tongue, and I had only taken a small sip so the cup is nearly filled to the brim. Another barista gets the manager/owner for me without being asked, and I tell her what happened.)

Owner: “Did you really tell this poor girl to ‘eff off’?!”

Barista: “Listen to her! She’s obviously faking. She just wants free smoothies.”

Owner: “Can you show her your tongue, please, miss?”

Me: *sticks out my red and obviously swollen tongue*

Owner: “Why did you tell her the tropic blast didn’t have any kiwi?! And why did you accuse her of lying?!”

(The barista tried to defend herself and failed. The owner fired her and told me this isn’t the first time she’d been rude to customers. The owner gave me a 15 free drinks coupon, and even though I’ve used them up, I’m still a regular! But I’ve never had another smoothie from them.)

Being rude to customers is worse than risking a fatal allergic reaction, no doubt.

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:


Yeah, I'm totally sure that a preteen will go "I don't know myself yet and won't until I'm 18"

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

A stabbing no less

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Testekill posted:

Yeah, I'm totally sure that a preteen will go "I don't know myself yet and won't until I'm 18"

I could almost see it as a closeted gay kid trying to brush off the issue. But stdh likelihood is stronger.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

EmmyOk posted:

A stabbing no less

I'm guessing it was with one of these:



They really sting :argh:

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I'm guessing it was with one of these:



They really sting :argh:

Those hurt like a mother fucker if you accidentally get yourself with them.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

EmmyOk posted:

Americans are really weird compared to the cultural elite here in Europe.

I once complimented a customer on his pleasant manner of speech and he told me he had been taking public speaking courses for his degree. It made my day to make him happy. :3:

Oh, and he was a regular and we got married and now I'm Das Einstein and I wake every morning to the thunderous sound of applause. A guy who insulted me stands outside my window, visibly upset.

cage-free egghead
Mar 8, 2004
Regarding are American hero, I wrote a tweet making fun of the guy claiming to have socked it to Jesse Ventura.

quote:

Ventura is a lying bitch!The case is up for appeal and Ventura claims to be a Seal yet he never was


I touched the poop.

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008


This was a soda commercial! Everyone younger than me needs to get off the Internet. And everyone older. And everyone my age.

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009
Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

Das Boo posted:

I wake every morning to the thunderous sound of applause.

BRB, going to buy this alarm clock.

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

Lblitzer posted:

Regarding are American hero, I wrote a tweet making fun of the guy claiming to have socked it to Jesse Ventura.


I touched the poop.

I had the same thing happen on facebook. One of my friends posted about American Sniper saying it was pretty disgusting with how it romanticises a racist and I added that Chris Kyle was full of bullshit due to his lies anyways. One of his friends loses his poo poo saying that he was a hero and I shouldn't disrespect him.

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost

Testekill posted:

I had the same thing happen on facebook. One of my friends posted about American Sniper saying it was pretty disgusting with how it romanticises a racist and I added that Chris Kyle was full of bullshit due to his lies anyways. One of his friends loses his poo poo saying that he was a hero and I shouldn't disrespect him.

Since that propaganda piece of trash movie came out, everyone is going to see a huge upsurge in "MURICA! :911::patriot:" posts, and if you don't agree, you're a dirty towel head.

:eng99: I really hate people sometimes.

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

Testekill posted:

I had the same thing happen on facebook. One of my friends posted about American Sniper saying it was pretty disgusting with how it romanticises a racist and I added that Chris Kyle was full of bullshit due to his lies anyways. One of his friends loses his poo poo saying that he was a hero and I shouldn't disrespect him.

Friend of mine posted that Seth Rogan comment about how it was similar to "Nation's Pride", the Nazi film-within-a-film in Inglorious Basterds.

A friend of hers lost his loving mind about how we could compare and American Hero to a Nazi propaganda film.

I argued with him about it for awhile and it became abundantly clear he had only read the headline and didn't realize it wasn't actually a real Nazi propaganda film. He was livid.

RTFA is STDH.

Double Plus Good
Nov 4, 2009

Zaphod42 posted:

Friend of mine posted that Seth Rogan comment about how it was similar to "Nation's Pride", the Nazi film-within-a-film in Inglorious Basterds.

A friend of hers lost his loving mind about how we could compare and American Hero to a Nazi propaganda film.

I argued with him about it for awhile and it became abundantly clear he had only read the headline and didn't realize it wasn't actually a real Nazi propaganda film. He was livid.

RTFA is STDH.

Real Americans for America were fellating Rogen last week as a true hero of free speech for The Interview, this week he's back to being a drat lying Hollywood liberal. :shrug:

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

EZipperelli posted:

Since that propaganda piece of trash movie came out, everyone is going to see a huge upsurge in "MURICA! :911::patriot:" posts, and if you don't agree, you're a dirty towel head.

:eng99: I really hate people sometimes.

The stupidest bit was the guy that was losing his poo poo was Australian. He also has this as his profile background.



Yeah, I'm glad that I have no idea who the gently caress he is.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
Hmm, I am torn about going to see that movie. On the one hand I'd like to see what the fuss is all about; on the other it's probably super terrible and I'm really not sure I want to pay a dime to see it.

Testekill posted:

The stupidest bit was the guy that was losing his poo poo was Australian. He also has this as his profile background.



Yeah, I'm glad that I have no idea who the gently caress he is.
He was obviously only defending his sniper-bro. He too dreams of being able to murder people and get away with it.

Das Boo posted:

Oh, and he was a regular and we got married and now I'm Das Einstein and I wake every morning to the thunderous sound of applause. A guy who insulted me stands outside my window, visibly upset.

I love you.

razorrozar
Feb 21, 2012

by Cyrano4747

Fathis Munk posted:

Hmm, I am torn about going to see that movie. On the one hand I'd like to see what the fuss is all about; on the other it's probably super terrible and I'm really not sure I want to pay a dime to see it.

Apparently the movie itself is quite decent and doesn't carry the anti-Muslim overtones you'd expect, and is more about PTSD, but shitheads are blaming the PTSD on Muslims instead of the overall pressure and effects of a military career that revolves around killing people. Also yeah the person it's based on is (was? He might have died since, can't quite remember) a lying shitbag, but if you criticize him you obviously hate ARE COUNTRY AND ARE SOLJURS.

tl;dr Movie's good, basis not so much.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

razorrozar posted:

(was? He might have died since, can't quite remember)

tl;dr Movie's good, basis not so much.

He brought a dude he kinda knew on a shooting range to try and help him get over his ptsd. Ptsd dude shot him in the head.

All this really just makes me ask myself even more why Eastwood didn't just make up a story to avoid unfortunate ties. That sweet "based on a true story" credit I guess.

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

Fathis Munk posted:

He brought a dude he kinda knew on a shooting range to try and help him get over his ptsd. Ptsd dude shot him in the head.

All this really just makes me ask myself even more why Eastwood didn't just make up a story to avoid unfortunate ties. That sweet "based on a true story" credit I guess.


Immunity from the critics. Who would dare criticise a story about a guy who claims to have been hired by the president during Hurricane Katrina to climb on top of a stadium and snipe looters.

Cygna
Mar 6, 2009

The ghost of a god is no man.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I'm guessing it was with one of these:



They really sting :argh:

I'm guessing it was with a pencil.

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion

Ratspeaker posted:

I'm guessing it was with a pencil.

The kind you break in bundles of 30.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

Khazar-khum posted:

The kind you break in bundles of 30.

Except the ones that are too hard to break :smith:

You know, come to think of it possible much all "based on a true story (TM)" movies are stdh.avi. It probably did happen in some form, but often not at like they tell us it did.

Serperoth
Feb 21, 2013




Fathis Munk posted:

Except the ones that are too hard to break :smith:

Just give those to a friend, nothing wrong with that.

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

Khazar-khum posted:

The kind you break in bundles of 30.

Bundles of 29. Gotta get help with that last one.

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Zaphod42 posted:

Friend of mine posted that Seth Rogan comment about how it was similar to "Nation's Pride", the Nazi film-within-a-film in Inglorious Basterds.


That's a really good description of it




The art of deception






I spit on your grave




"When the nerdiest guy in class comes in drunk..."



Some oval office posted:

So this kid gets straight A's and never utters a single word. Today he stumbles in drunk to class and confesses to a girl that he "finds them tig ole bitties amazing!"

EmmyOk has a new favorite as of 14:46 on Jan 21, 2015

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

EmmyOk posted:


I spit on your grave



So his sister is his food? Or did he forget where his own lovely story was going?

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Fathis Munk posted:

So his sister is his food? Or did he forget where his own lovely story was going?

He's threatening the evil fast food employee that she had better not spit on his food in retaliation for him calling her a oval office.

Why is he using semicolons like that? That is precisely what regular colons are for! Why doesn't anyone know how to use the poor misunderstood semicolon?

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

How would you even spit on someone's food at Dunkin Donuts, everything's right there. That's just paranoia. "One cheeseburger AND KEEP THE MICROCHIPS OUT OF IT."

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

Bertrand Hustle posted:

He's threatening the evil fast food employee that she had better not spit on his food in retaliation for him calling her a oval office.

Why is he using semicolons like that? That is precisely what regular colons are for! Why doesn't anyone know how to use the poor misunderstood semicolon?

Oooh! I thought it was like a little "you mess with the bull, you get the horns" parting quip. :downs:

Tbh I have no actual clue how to use semicolons in English; but I'm a foreigner and thus; I generally just never use any.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

EZipperelli posted:

Since that propaganda piece of trash movie came out, everyone is going to see a huge upsurge in "MURICA! :911::patriot:" posts, and if you don't agree, you're a dirty towel head.

:eng99: I really hate people sometimes.

I've been framing it as "I would rather have seen the 90 million dollars go to a veterans charity, and all that time people spent watching it be used to write letters to their congressmen asking them to unfuck the VA situation, rather than glorify someone who was only good at making poo poo up and killing people".

If you sprinkle it with some "OUR TROOPS!" they have a harder time calling you some kind of pinko commie or whatever.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

EmmyOk posted:

The art of deception



Happened to me a bunch of times. One time because I actually thought about a different paper and as a nerd (who cared to properly capitalise and punctuate his Life Journal entries :argh:) stood well with teachers. All other times because one of our professors at Uni literally had dementia, but his numerous titles were too important for my department to let him go and student were encouraged to never argue with him.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Fathis Munk posted:

Oooh! I thought it was like a little "you mess with the bull, you get the horns" parting quip. :downs:

Tbh I have no actual clue how to use semicolons in English; but I'm a foreigner and thus; I generally just never use any.

Semicolons are used to separate related clauses within the same sentence; you can use them instead of the word "and".

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Semicolons are used to separate related clauses within the same sentence; you can use them instead of the word "and".

Yeah, I actually know that because it's p much the same in French. But truth is, why would I ever use one, especially on the Internet :shrug:

Sentient Data
Aug 31, 2011

My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!
The truth is nobody knows; everyone pretty much guesses and just hopes they use the smarty-pants punctuation correctly

SLOSifl
Aug 10, 2002


It's like using or misusing the word "whom". You look like an rear end in a top hat.

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Stan Taylor
Oct 13, 2013

Touched Fuzzy, Got Dizzy
poo poo that didn't happen; anyone correctly using a semicolon.

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