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Rob Cockerham did a nasty writeup about the CASH4GOLD scheme and the company actually offered to pay him to take it down so their "secret" wouldn't get out (spoiler alert: It's a scam).
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Jan 17, 2015 05:02
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Have you guys been to Denny's tumblr yet? It's the weirdest thing. Here's some examples I picked out:  
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Jan 22, 2015 10:07
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Flaskraven posted:Have you guys been to Denny's tumblr yet? It's the weirdest thing. Here's some examples I picked out:  
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Jan 22, 2015 10:56
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I don't know what your problem is. That's all awesome.
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Jan 22, 2015 15:28
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Brocktoon posted:I don't know what your problem is. That's all awesome. It's extremely by-the-numbers. It's the Tumblr equivalent of the morning radio zoo crew.
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Jan 22, 2015 16:09
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There's a local business in my area that has the most horrendous radio ads. The store itself is, from what I can tell, focused on incense and potpourri with a sideline in decoratives and a New Age bent. All their ads feature dragons, fairies, and gnomes or try and tie in to cultural trends (I think one airing this summer tried to call on Despicable Me 2's minions). So you have bad actors doing bad voices and advertising mystical fountains and fragrances. Whenever I drive by the place, I'm tempted to stop, stick my head in the door and yell "Your ads suck!" with the possibility of adding "And your store smells like a magical fairy's rear end in a top hat!"
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Jan 22, 2015 22:25
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That would be a cool thing to do, and you should put it on youtube.
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Jan 22, 2015 22:44
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A local business had ads running to promote its phone app - one featured guys at a bar staring at a lady. The camera moved up and down her figure while the guys made comments like "wow, look at that" "niiiiice" and then finally, "that's a sweet...APP!" and then the camera revealed the phone in her hand, as she navigated this business's great app!  ...except the business is a bank. A bank. Full of people in suits you're supposed to trust with your money. Thanks but no thanks. Maybe I'm just a square, but that feels more like a dating site ad than one for a loving bank.
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Jan 22, 2015 22:48
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I know they mean well but good lord, the radio ads for Discover the Forest were written by an alien. If your preteen kid can't tell the difference between a faucet and a river, you've already failed them.
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Jan 23, 2015 22:02
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The Devil Tesla posted:That would be a cool thing to do, and you should put it on youtube. Then run away shouting "It's a prank! It's a prank!"
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Jan 24, 2015 02:11
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Dareon posted:There's a local business in my area that has the most horrendous radio ads. The store itself is, from what I can tell, focused on incense and potpourri with a sideline in decoratives and a New Age bent. All their ads feature dragons, fairies, and gnomes or try and tie in to cultural trends (I think one airing this summer tried to call on Despicable Me 2's minions). So you have bad actors doing bad voices and advertising mystical fountains and fragrances. Whenever I drive by the place, I'm tempted to stop, stick my head in the door and yell "Your ads suck!" with the possibility of adding "And your store smells like a magical fairy's rear end in a top hat!" Because gently caress that place. I don't want a Sean Connery Bond with literally the worst accent ever telling me to buy incense, and I don't wait some squeaking fairy which is just some clerk on helium giggling through my speaker system as a leperchaun tries to shill me scented oil. Either it is some horrible cultural ad ("Yush, I want a drenk, sheken, not sturred.' "HI I'M -a diffferent Bond actor -." "Who arr you, sonny?") or just fantasy stuff. The ads are all exactly as described, and they get lots of air time on what feels like every station. It's insufferable. To make it worse, they rotate old ads back in now and again, so something you thought was dead and buried from four years ago pops on and you hear someone pretending to be a gnome trying to tell you how this store has the best collection of smells. I wish I could find an ad online, but you can get the same experience by getting a grown rear end woman to talk in the highest, squeakiest voice she can manage about mystical rainbows and incense. For, like, a solid minute. Maybe put some chimes in the background. If it isn't, and there is a shop somewhere else in this country that forces others to suffer in the same way, I feel for you. I really do.
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Jan 24, 2015 03:27
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Candy flavored Vodka? Who are you marketing this to? How about changing the name to Happy Vodka or Vodka Kids? 
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Jan 24, 2015 20:17
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nerdz posted:Candy flavored Vodka? Who are you marketing this to? How about changing the name to Happy Vodka or Vodka Kids? They're marketing to the 80 million Millennials that own a phone and have at least heard of the smash-hit app Candy Crush Saga.
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Jan 24, 2015 20:34
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Also from a distance the logo looks like someone shat out a box of crayons.
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Jan 24, 2015 20:35
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nerdz posted:Candy flavored Vodka? Who are you marketing this to? 1. Ladies who wanna get white girl wasted. 2. Restaurant owners who want to charge $12 for a "craft" cocktail made with lovely flavoured vodka.
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Jan 24, 2015 20:37
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nerdz posted:Candy flavored Vodka? Who are you marketing this to? How about changing the name to Happy Vodka or Vodka Kids? The same people that Pinnacle Vodka markets too? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinnacle_vodka
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Jan 24, 2015 20:41
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:They're marketing to the 80 million Millennials that own a phone and have at least heard of the smash-hit app Candy Crush Saga. That reminded me of this Shark Tank pitch for Beatbox Wine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxiMPJS79xg They claim it speaks to their generation. Who uses beatboxes anymore except 40 year old farts like me who still play their old cassettes? Don't all the young'uns download everything onto their phones? Not to mention the fact that walking around with a huge beatbox was sorta more the provenance of black hiphop culture, so when that white chick hoists it up on her shoulder, I cringed. I guess it's "ironic"? Retro-hip? Dang I feel old now. My lawn, etc.
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Jan 24, 2015 20:58
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JacquelineDempsey posted:That reminded me of this Shark Tank pitch for Beatbox Wine: You act like all sorts of Millennials don't love retro poo poo they've probably never actually used but once in their lives. Ya'll are fuckin' old.
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Jan 24, 2015 22:08
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Lumberjack Bonanza posted:You act like all sorts of Millennials don't love retro poo poo they've probably never actually used but once in their lives. Hey, I admitted as much that I'm  , and I did acknowledge the retro appeal. I think they've got a great product, selling fruity wine that doesn't taste like wine, in a box; I know I'd eat that poo poo up when I was in college. And as was mentioned about the flavored vodkas, it's the perfect drink for young women with no palette who wanna get drunk on fruity poo poo, and bars to make custom cocktails. I just thought it was an odd strategy to reference 30 year old technology in a beverage product when marketing to people who have never even seen a boombox.
JacquelineDempsey has a new favorite as of 22:24 on Jan 24, 2015 |
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Jan 24, 2015 22:21
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Hey, I admitted as much that I'm Well, I'm sure they've seen them before, probably while ironically watching old ~80's movies. I was more talking about everyone on this page who don't get why people would market childish things to my entire generation of child-adults.
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Jan 24, 2015 22:28
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JacquelineDempsey posted:That reminded me of this Shark Tank pitch for Beatbox Wine: You know, eating pussy.
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Jan 24, 2015 22:52
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Lumberjack Bonanza posted:Well, I'm sure they've seen them before, probably while ironically watching old ~80's movies. I was more talking about everyone on this page who don't get why people would market childish things to my entire generation of child-adults. Also, brb, gonna invent a flask shaped like a smartphone to pitch to Shark Tank (I'm sure it's been done).
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Jan 24, 2015 23:03
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Gotcha. On reflection, I think my sticking point was both the announcer and the pitch saying that it "speaks to this generation". That'd be like someone saying that 8-track spoke to my generation. Yeah, we knew of them --- hell my bf in the 90's had a player in his '79 Caddy ---, and there was definitely a market for a certain sense of nostalgia for stuff we saw in our childhood ( eg "That 70's Show"), but I wouldn't say it "spoke to" my demographic. If they, say, made alcohol flasks shaped like iPhones or some poo poo, that would "speak to" this generation. Does that make any sense? Sorry, guess I'm either misunderstanding that term, or nitpicking. (And not on you, Lumberjack!) Well I'd totally buy a phone flask so I think I get you more than actually intended.
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Jan 24, 2015 23:08
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Just make it look like a phone in an otterbox and it'd pass security easy.
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Jan 24, 2015 23:19
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Whatev posted:Beatbox to young people means that pfoo puh-cha pfoo pfoo puh-cha rhythm thing you do with your mouth and hands. This made me literally  because it wasn't until I was typing up my post and then reading yours that I realized, yes, BEATbox is this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeBiXBic3sE And what they're trying to incorporate in their design is a BOOMbox, which is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fLzCBzWVWY (I own the one on the left, it's pretty loving sweet.) I'm so old I forgot the proper terminology in my haste to post. And now I'm angry at them, as well as myself. Get it right! Thanks for the correction, Whatev.
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Jan 24, 2015 23:31
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So does this thread really believe fruity sugary drinks were invented just for millenials? Because I have a really hard time believing college students haven't been making jolly rancher vodka since the dawn of jolly ranchers. If anything a new candy vodka is just companies catching up to poo poo kids have been doing themselves forever. E: my boss has shared stories of candy drinks and college drunkenness and he's solidly Gen X Rat Patrol has a new favorite as of 23:49 on Jan 24, 2015 |
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Jan 24, 2015 23:44
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Flavored vodka is for sissies and pregnant women.
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Jan 24, 2015 23:50
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Also, brb, gonna invent a flask shaped like a smartphone to pitch to Shark Tank (I'm sure it's been done). A smartphone flask with random liquor in it. It would be like getting a pack of trading cards. You buy a flask and inside it is a liquor. It could be something from Kamchatka gas station vodka up to something high end like Johnny Walker Blue. I stand by you would sell crazy amounts.
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Jan 24, 2015 23:53
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I got curious and went to Google: turns out they've found a jello shot ("punch jelly") recipe from the 1860s. It's not young people these days who like sweet things, it's just young people.
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Jan 25, 2015 00:51
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Huntersoninski posted:So does this thread really believe fruity sugary drinks were invented just for millenials? Because I have a really hard time believing college students haven't been making jolly rancher vodka since the dawn of jolly ranchers. If anything a new candy vodka is just companies catching up to poo poo kids have been doing themselves forever. Nobody said that. The UV Sugar Crush posted earlier is certainly marketed toward young Millennials, but nobody's trying to argue that sugary drinks haven't been getting white girls drunk since the dawn of time.
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Jan 25, 2015 00:59
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my main point was that its kinda weird to market alcohol with a kid friendly approach, like a wink and a nudge to the kids that will get wasted on the stuff. But Im probably reaching here.
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Jan 25, 2015 01:08
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In my limited experience, kids get wasted on the cheapest stuff they can get, which is usually Popov or Aristocrat vodka. But the price point on this stuff is pretty low, so yeah, I can see where you're coming from. (By the way, I'm far from a cocktail snob. Pinnacle's whipped vodka has some great uses for party drinks, I'm just aggrieved when people pay big bucks for it.)
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Jan 25, 2015 01:46
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That UV isn't even close to the worst. The two brands Jellybean and Cupcake market wines in colorful, candy/cake themed flavors (and in the case of Cupcake a vodka as well). It's an old gimmick at this point that sadly works well on the target audience of younger women. Craft beers are worse for kid friendly marketing 
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Jan 25, 2015 02:58
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nerdz posted:Candy flavored Vodka? Who are you marketing this to? How about changing the name to Happy Vodka or Vodka Kids?
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Jan 25, 2015 03:03
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The idea of any craft beer being "kid friendly" is a canard because kids don't spend $10+ on a 6-pack. The problem with going after any brand for marketing liquor to kids is that any company that sells a handle of 80-proof liquor for close to the price of soda-pop is effectively marketing to kids already.
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Jan 25, 2015 03:41
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I don't know, if I was some miserable housewife who had nothing better to do than get sloshed all day, I'd at least want my vodka to have some flavour.
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Jan 25, 2015 03:57
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You're not taking into account the psychological mechanisms involved. If you're a housewife getting drunk without even admitting to yourself that you're getting drunk, you want the liquor itself to have no flavour of its own, so that you can slip it into lemonade, white wine, etc. and then pretend that never happened. (Yes, I have witnessed this firsthand.)
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Jan 25, 2015 04:04
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From the research side the reason you see so many flavored Vodkas is because white spirit drinkers (which honestly, basically just means Vodka drinkers based on marketshare) share two traits. 1) They are flavor experimenters 2) They are surprisingly brand loyal compared to other types of alcohol . What it means is every Vodka company worth their potatoes produces all sorts of various flavors in an effort to both keep its fans in house when trying new flavors and trying to lure other brand's drinkers to theirs to try flavors they can't get. Hence you get really weird flavors like cinnamon cake or skittles or...
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Jan 25, 2015 04:21
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nerdz posted:Candy flavored Vodka? Who are you marketing this to? How about changing the name to Happy Vodka or Vodka Kids? The perfect accompaniment for this alcohol-flavored candy! 
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Jan 25, 2015 05:07
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This is the only thing I know about alcohol of any kind. I assume it covers all these nasty looking flavors.
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Jan 25, 2015 05:17
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