Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

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Astonishing Wang: Nov 3, 2004

GENDERWEIRD GREEDO posted:

Giant truck owners are also frequently insecure and defensive

IT'S NOT A TRUCK IT'S A JEEP.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 19:40

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# ? May 25, 2024 22:27

Maxwells Demon: Jan 15, 2007

eyebeem posted:

All BMW owners are douchebags

Hey! Some of us are assholes thank you very much.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 19:47

eyebeem: Jul 18, 2013; by R. Guyovich

GENDERWEIRD GREEDO posted:

Giant truck owners are also frequently insecure and defensive

People are also frequently insecure and defensive.

Jokes on the thread, as my F150 is a company car.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 19:51

PCOS Bill: May 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

eyebeem posted:

People are also frequently insecure and defensive.

Jokes on the thread, as my F150 is a company car.

You sound really insecure about driving a truck.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 20:11

eyebeem: Jul 18, 2013; by R. Guyovich

PCOS Bill posted:

You sound really insecure about driving a truck.

It's because it has a V6. It might as well be a Taco.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 20:13

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

i got a big package and drive a utility level sedan (optima)

come at me

# ? Feb 3, 2015 20:16

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

By the logic we're following, drivers of Yugos and rusty 80s compact pickups have the biggest packages of all.

:smugdog:

# ? Feb 3, 2015 20:21

Siochain: May 24, 2005; "can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."

Mr. Wiggles posted:

By the logic we're following, drivers of Yugos and rusty 80s compact pickups have the biggest packages of all.

Where does the 94 geo tracker I used to drive fall on this scale? I'm curious how big I should advertise my package as being.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 20:28

veedubfreak: Apr 2, 2005; by Smythe

eyebeem posted:

All BMW owners are douchebags
All compact Japanese owners are annoying children

Along this logic, I'm finding that Kia and Hyundai are making huge leaps and bounds at taking over the entitled rear end in a top hat and can't drive for poo poo demographics away from BMW and Toyota.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 20:30

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

veedubfreak posted:

Along this logic, I'm finding that Kia and Hyundai are making huge leaps and bounds at taking over the entitled rear end in a top hat and can't drive for poo poo demographics away from BMW and Toyota.

Hell yea, bring it!

I drive like a grandpa, im in no rush to go anywhere and I keep like 5 car length distance on the freeway. What more ya got?

# ? Feb 3, 2015 20:32

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Siochain posted:

Where does the 94 geo tracker I used to drive fall on this scale? I'm curious how big I should advertise my package as being.

Pretty big, but in an "exotic dancer banana hammock" kind of way.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 21:05

Siochain: May 24, 2005; "can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Pretty big, but in an "exotic dancer banana hammock" kind of way.

I can cope with that.
I loved that vehicle. Young, stupid me beat the ever loving hell out of it, and it never failed. Drove it on all kinds of nasty roads and trails to. I honestly miss the little loving death trap.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 21:14

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

eyebeem posted:

All compact Japanese owners are annoying children

I've got a Japanese compact SUV, does that make me an annoying fat child?

Because yeah, basically.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 21:16

PCOS Bill: May 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

KoRMaK posted:

i got a big package and drive a utility level sedan (optima)

come at me

I drive a 100hp (when new, I doubt it puts out more than 90 now) decade old hatchback. Bring the lube.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 21:24

El Jebus: Jun 18, 2008; This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

Siochain posted:

Where does the 94 geo tracker I used to drive fall on this scale? I'm curious how big I should advertise my package as being.

PCOS Bill posted:

I drive a 100hp (when new, I doubt it puts out more than 90 now) decade old hatchback. Bring the lube.

2000 Suzuki Swift :colbert:

# ? Feb 3, 2015 21:40

Siochain: May 24, 2005; "can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."

El Jebus posted:

2000 Suzuki Swift

At least you got mileage befitting such a small vehicle. The Tracker was sad. Just sad.

gently caress now I want a Tracker as a "getting back into fixing things" project.

I'm broken.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:07

Slavvy: Dec 11, 2012

El Jebus posted:

2000 Suzuki Swift

97 Toyota tercel with a 1.3 in less-than-optimum condition making around 80hp on a good day mated to a 3 speed auto with no electronic control, no OD and no lock up converter :smug:

It's amazingly thirsty for it's size :negative:

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:11

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

I got my low HP tiny hatchback in the brightest color possible. I'm not sure if that makes my dick bigger or smaller, can AI help?

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:20

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

nm posted:

I got my low HP tiny hatchback in the brightest color possible. I'm not sure if that makes my dick bigger or smaller, can AI help?

It depends. Does the color help or hinder your self confidence?

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:23

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

nm posted:

I got my low HP tiny hatchback in the brightest color possible. I'm not sure if that makes my dick bigger or smaller, can AI help?

it demonstrates that you want attention but when its finally given to you, you just fumble. Definite bedroom problems

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:24

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

nm posted:

I got my low HP tiny hatchback in the brightest color possible. I'm not sure if that makes my dick bigger or smaller, can AI help?

You might be James May.

(who once made an argument that an economy car driven at 100% is just as fun as a perfect handling exotic driven at 100%)

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:24

Slavvy: Dec 11, 2012

May was far, far from the first person to make that argument and he's wrong. It just seems that way because 99% of drivers don't have the skill and opportunity to drive exotics that way, but everyone's driven an 80's piece of poo poo on a twisty road.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:27

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

xzzy posted:

You might be James May.

(who once made an argument that an economy car driven at 100% is just as fun as a perfect handling exotic driven at 100%)

I wouldn't say that necessarily, but I will say that some of the most fun I've had with a car was my rental Aveo, giving absolutely no fucks about how I drove it, in rain-slick parking lots.

That poor e-brake.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:29

razorscooter: Nov 5, 2008

I thought the point was more about cheap small cars being fun at normal speeds, while something fast and exotic is only fun at flagrantly illegal speed.

"kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

# ? Feb 3, 2015 22:44

eyebeem: Jul 18, 2013; by R. Guyovich

razorscooter posted:

I thought the point was more about cheap small cars being fun at normal speeds, while something fast and exotic is only fun at flagrantly illegal speed.

Absolutely.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:11

BoostCreep: May 3, 2004; Might I ask where you keep your forced induction accessories?; Grimey Drawer

nm posted:

I got my low HP tiny hatchback in the brightest color possible. I'm not sure if that makes my dick bigger or smaller, can AI help?

I bought one of the worst cars in automotive history, but I maintain a raging erection any time I touch it or think about it. What can the internet do for me?

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:13

InitialDave: Jun 14, 2007; I Want To Believe.

Mr. Wiggles posted:

By the logic we're following, drivers of Yugos and rusty 80s compact pickups have the biggest packages of all.

I have a 660cc Kei car and big feet.

Ladies... :dukedog:

BoostCreep posted:

I bought one of the worst cars in automotive history, but I maintain a raging erection any time I touch it or think about it. What can the internet do for me?

Encourage you to sell it to 13". It's probably like the video tape in Ring, you have to pass it along to be spared.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:19

PCOS Bill: May 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

razorscooter posted:

I thought the point was more about cheap small cars being fun at normal speeds, while something fast and exotic is only fun at flagrantly illegal speed.

"kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

I actually kind of like this, what's wrong with me. As usual it falls apart at the middle, but the ends look like if they could just be bridged well it'd look great.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:26

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

BoostCreep posted:

I bought one of the worst cars in automotive history, but I maintain a raging erection any time I touch it or think about it. What can the internet do for me?

Tell us about your biturbo/pt cruiser.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:28

LloydDobler: Oct 15, 2005; You shared it with a dick.

I used to work with a woman who had a shirt that said "I drive a mini to compensate for my enormous penis". She was pretty fun.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:42

Boaz MacPhereson: Jul 11, 2006; Day 12045 Ht10hands 180lbs
No Name
No lumps No Bumps Full life Clean
Two good eyes No Busted Limbs
Piss OK Genitals intact
Multiple scars Heals fast
O NEGATIVE HI OCTANE
UNIVERSAL DONOR
Lone Road Warrior Rundown
on the Powder Lakes V8
No guzzoline No supplies
ISOLATE PSYCHOTIC
Keep muzzled...

PCOS Bill posted:

I actually kind of like this, what's wrong with me. As usual it falls apart at the middle, but the ends look like if they could just be bridged well it'd look great.

You're describing a '62 Corvette.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:44

eyebeem: Jul 18, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Boaz MacPhereson posted:

You're describing a '62 Corvette.

# ? Feb 3, 2015 23:52

Uthor: Jul 9, 2006; Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.

LloydDobler posted:

I used to work with a woman who had a shirt that said "I drive a mini to compensate for my enormous penis". She was pretty fun.

I bet!

# ? Feb 4, 2015 01:42

Fender Anarchist: May 20, 2009; Fender Anarchist

Boaz MacPhereson posted:

You're describing a '62 Corvette.

Yeah, for what it's worth the conversion is reasonably well executed, but without the iconic curved vertical windshield the whole thing falls apart. Change that and you lose the C5's aerodynamic properties (not that a car like that will see much track use, but still), and at that point you've spent enough that why not just buy an original one?

# ? Feb 4, 2015 03:35

rscott: Dec 10, 2009

They just gotta have that late 90s GM interior build quality

# ? Feb 4, 2015 03:37

Octopus Magic: Dec 19, 2003; I HATE EVERYTHING THAT YOU LIKE* AND I NEED TO BE SURE YOU ALL KNOW THAT EVERY TIME I POST

*unless it's a DSM in which case we cool ^_^

It's going to be so rad when all the baby boomers are finally dead. :colbert:

# ? Feb 4, 2015 05:19

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Octopus Magic posted:

It's going to be so rad when all the baby boomers are finally dead.

They'll probably outlive all of us. Bumping the retirement age up 1 year every 2 to keep their social security funded and periodically culling the herd with coverups of fatal faults in cars popular amongst the younger generations, like the cobalt.

# ? Feb 4, 2015 05:24

PCOS Bill: May 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Octopus Magic posted:

It's going to be so rad when all the baby boomers are finally dead.

Wow man so edgy, gently caress you dad right?

# ? Feb 4, 2015 05:30

Tindjin: Aug 4, 2006; Do not seek death.
Death will find you.
But seek the road
which makes death a fulfillment.

razorscooter posted:

I thought the point was more about cheap small cars being fun at normal speeds, while something fast and exotic is only fun at flagrantly illegal speed.

"kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Posted this one a while back..

# ? Feb 4, 2015 07:05

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# ? May 25, 2024 22:27

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

PCOS Bill posted:

Wow man so edgy, gently caress you dad right?

Found the boomer.

# ? Feb 4, 2015 07:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

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