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Sonic Dude posted:You'd be amazed at the dark humor the combination of retail and IT can create. I'm amazed at the dark humor that trickles down to IT. I had a user crack some joke about the speed of our internet connection and preferring to download child porn because "the files were smaller."
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Feb 6, 2015 18:15
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jre posted:
While there is a bunch of whooshing going on, I don't believe that was one of them.
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Feb 6, 2015 18:19
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GnarlyCharlie4u posted:I'm amazed at the dark humor that trickles down to IT. That is hilariously dark.... Search his computer for CP
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Feb 6, 2015 18:25
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spankmeister posted:Wrong opinions and an anime avatar? Boy howdy you sure are the complete package. Why is it a wrong opinion? I'm just not particularly sensitive to it as opposed to most (especially >40) Germans. Like, I'm pretty sure my reaction to someone hanging that up where I work would be "you do realize what this implies, right?" and maybe laughing about it.
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Feb 6, 2015 18:40
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m.hache posted:That is hilariously dark.... Seriously. This needs to be done.
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Feb 6, 2015 18:44
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FireSight posted:Seriously. This needs to be done. Won't someone please think of the children? ... I mean besides the guy who made the CP joke.
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Feb 6, 2015 18:47
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Jedi425 posted:We put up a picture of this over the door to our work area back when I was on the Geek Squad. The supervisor came in, asked us what it was, we said it was an old German saying. This is really weird. We did the exact same thing in our precinct. You didn't work in store 343, did you?
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Feb 6, 2015 19:03
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Dragyn posted:This is really weird. We did the exact same thing in our precinct. I don't think so, but again, this was at least 10 years ago, hell if I can remember the store number. It was in AZ. I think it says a lot about working for them that this happened at more than one store, though.
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Feb 6, 2015 20:28
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My sister texted me this morning. It's kind of like a ticket. "Microsoft called me and evaluated my computer. They showed me all my viruses and my firewall is shot and they want $150 to fix it. I have them on the phone right now, should I do it?" About to open up a TeamViewer connection and see what they did while they had access to her PC. :|
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Feb 6, 2015 20:58
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FordPRefectLL posted:My sister texted me this morning. It's kind of like a ticket. I love getting these calls. Trolling them has become a past time of mine and I like to see how frustrated I can make them by pretending to be a willing but completely incompetent mark. My best is 33 minutes, including a good segment of not being able to find the CVV code on the back of my (made up) credit card. "Windows machine? I only have Office." "You want me to fine the windows key? Hold on a second and I'll go open a window. It's raining outside, is that going to be a problem?" "I'm confused. My son told me he installed Ubanto on all of our computers. Is that the same thing?" Etc. Bonus points if you can get the guy to hand you off to a manager and get HIM irritated as well.
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Feb 6, 2015 21:21
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Jedi425 posted:I don't think so, but again, this was at least 10 years ago, hell if I can remember the store number. It was in AZ. Nope, this was in MA around 2008. Great minds I guess. Manager did the same thing, we told him it was a German inspirational saying. I don't know if he ever figured it out though.
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Feb 6, 2015 21:34
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I want to get a VM set up that wipes all changes made during a session, then have it ready for when these guys call up Then I'm going to stream it on Twitch.
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Feb 6, 2015 22:28
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Migishu posted:I want to get a VM set up that wipes all changes made during a session, then have it ready for when these guys call up just use a vagrant instance, it's trivial to set up
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Feb 6, 2015 22:30
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A high school friend living in NYC posted on Facebook seeking a contract IT freelancer to come by for 3-5 hours once a week or so, for "help maintaining our server, computers, router, etc." Is that actually a thing in NYC? I would have thought this was something you'd hire an MSP for, not, like, a single person. I can't imagine making a living from working that way, or that someone who did would be very good.
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Feb 7, 2015 00:18
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Migishu posted:I want to get a VM set up that wipes all changes made during a session, then have it ready for when these guys call up From what I've heard, they usually check for VM's. I work from home so I get them a lot. To be honest it's gotten boring messing with them. I've made it 3 layers up due to how badly I followed instructions. I've told them I was really happy they called because I was a small business accountant and the computer that was having problems had a lot of tax returns and financial documents and listened to them almost salivate on the phone. I've yelled at them, lectured them on various social issues. Etc, etc. My last one I just gave the told the guy all of the instructions he was going to give me before he gave them to me: 'Ok, now I should pull up the event log, right?' 'Ok, now you are going to convince me that informational alerts are viruses infecting my computer, right?' He still kept up with me until I said, 'Ok, this is where you connect to my computer, look for financial information, log into my bank account and steal my money, right?' and at that point he stated that I was not serious and was wasting his time, which is about the biggest victory I can hope for.
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Feb 7, 2015 00:56
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SubjectVerbObject posted:From what I've heard, they usually check for VM's. Some nerd needs to make a really high quality honeypot vm for this.
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Feb 7, 2015 01:41
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:Some nerd needs to make a really high quality honeypot vm for this. Or just throw an image onto a netbook or spare lovely computer.
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Feb 7, 2015 01:44
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Get a hold of cryptolocker or something and bait them into downloading it to their computer.
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Feb 7, 2015 02:39
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guppy posted:A high school friend living in NYC posted on Facebook seeking a contract IT freelancer to come by for 3-5 hours once a week or so, for "help maintaining our server, computers, router, etc." Is that actually a thing in NYC? I would have thought this was something you'd hire an MSP for, not, like, a single person. I can't imagine making a living from working that way, or that someone who did would be very good. It depends on the size of the operation and what they're running. A few desktops, a domain controller/fileserver? Sure, no problem. A bunch of VM's, Fax server, PBX, multiple edge routers reliant on BGP, etc... probably not so much.
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Feb 7, 2015 02:49
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guppy posted:A high school friend living in NYC posted on Facebook seeking a contract IT freelancer to come by for 3-5 hours once a week or so, for "help maintaining our server, computers, router, etc." Is that actually a thing in NYC? I would have thought this was something you'd hire an MSP for, not, like, a single person. I can't imagine making a living from working that way, or that someone who did would be very good. This is pretty much all the MSP I work for does (well, I get stuck with all of the home clients, but that's another issue), so yeah, I think it's more that than are "Lets find a dude on Craigslist" situation.
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Feb 7, 2015 07:50
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That sounds like it's more of a "gently caress, MSPs are expensive, surely we can find some broke college kid to do this stuff for ten bucks an hour instead..." situation.
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Feb 7, 2015 09:19
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guppy posted:A high school friend living in NYC posted on Facebook seeking a contract IT freelancer to come by for 3-5 hours once a week or so, for "help maintaining our server, computers, router, etc." Is that actually a thing in NYC? I would have thought this was something you'd hire an MSP for, not, like, a single person. I can't imagine making a living from working that way, or that someone who did would be very good. It really depends on the business. I would make sure they have a long term plan that includes reasonable infrastructure, backups, a reasonable budget, and expectations to fix things before it causes an emergency before I would work for a T&M client. When you are hiring a freelancer instead of an MSP you are getting less availability, but more continuity.
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Feb 7, 2015 11:00
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Pharmacists are the worst. The ones that I work with the most with aren't bad, they actually understand that most of their issues aren't some urgent end-of-the-world get here now problem. But 75% of the sites I get tickets for do stupid poo poo like call in a maintenance kit warning with a 12 hour SLA, or there are a couple where they call in their low-priority tickets every day and make a bunch of duplicates for us to deal with.
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Feb 7, 2015 16:26
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Pharmacists are the worst. The ones that I work with the most with aren't bad, they actually understand that most of their issues aren't some urgent end-of-the-world get here now problem. But 75% of the sites I get tickets for do stupid poo poo like call in a maintenance kit warning with a 12 hour SLA, or there are a couple where they call in their low-priority tickets every day and make a bunch of duplicates for us to deal with. I used to think our director of pharmacy was kind of a dick, then he sent an email to my boss and my bosses boss saying "hihifellow has been great at meeting our demands, and wanted recognition for his efforts" and now he's okay in my books. Even then, the pharmacists would commiserate with me over some of his stranger requests, so I guess we have one of the more relaxed pharmacies out there. Guess it helps they have zero patient and customer interaction, and spend their day behind a door only security has the key for.
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Feb 7, 2015 16:53
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dennyk posted:That sounds like it's more of a "gently caress, MSPs are expensive, surely we can find some broke college kid to do this stuff for ten bucks an hour instead..." situation. I made a good living doing this for about 6 years in Madison. My clients were independent Real Estate agents and mom and pop convenience stores mainly.
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Feb 7, 2015 16:55
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Jedi425 posted:I don't think so, but again, this was at least 10 years ago, hell if I can remember the store number. It was in AZ. We have all the horrid jokes at my workplace too. I'm honestly surprised nobody has been fired over some of the poo poo that gets said on a daily basis. On one of my first days I was shown a video titled "Mexican caught loving a goat" which was exactly what was happening. A "rocky five" trailer and a video of a woman getting conkers (with the spiked shells still intact) slingshotted at her. IT breaks people, man. There are people in the room who have worked there for a good seven years and there isn't a single thing i've ever heard said that's offended them, even when its gotten personal.
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Feb 7, 2015 18:44
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Kurieg posted:Fined for hanging up an auschwitz joke. What the gently caress even is a joke?
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Feb 7, 2015 19:10
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Beamed posted:What the gently caress even is a joke? If you're not aware, Germany is mildly sensitive about nazi stuff, and will gently caress you up if you do poo poo like that.
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Feb 7, 2015 19:18
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I work helpdesk at a rather large state university. Half an hour ago I had a client who, without a trace of irony, compared living in dorms to being imprisoned in Auschwitz due to the fact that the folks who administer dorm wifi won't let him use his preferred antivirus software. The worst part was that this wasn't even some freshman, the dude was at least 40 years old.
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Feb 7, 2015 23:51
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Well, did you gas him after?
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Feb 7, 2015 23:54
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I wonder if Auschwitz had IT guys
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Feb 8, 2015 00:54
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Farecoal posted:I wonder if Auschwitz had IT guys They used IBM kit, didn't they?
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Feb 8, 2015 00:56
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spog posted:They used IBM kit, didn't they? Sure did: http://www.amazon.com/IBM-Holocaust-Strategic-Alliance-Corporation-Expanded/dp/0914153277
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Feb 8, 2015 00:59
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Between that and Lotus Notes they've done enough terrible things to last a lifetime.
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Feb 8, 2015 01:05
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Roargasm posted:Sure did: http://www.amazon.com/IBM-Holocaust-Strategic-Alliance-Corporation-Expanded/dp/0914153277 WRKJEWPRF
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Feb 8, 2015 02:14
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Eschatos posted:I work helpdesk at a rather large state university. Half an hour ago I had a client who, without a trace of irony, compared living in dorms to being imprisoned in Auschwitz due to the fact that the folks who administer dorm wifi won't let him use his preferred antivirus software. The worst part was that this wasn't even some freshman, the dude was at least 40 years old. Why does a 40 year old live in a dorm?
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Feb 8, 2015 02:17
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Gilok posted:Why does a 40 year old live in a dorm? The area he's in is "family housing" for adults with families who for whatever strange reason want to live on campus. I'm pretty sure he was an international student.
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Feb 8, 2015 02:21
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We're an email provider, and this guy's request to help him set up email on Thunderbird began like thisquote:I have been 'required' by my company to no longer forward personal email to my company's email account
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Feb 8, 2015 07:01
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Thanks Ants posted:Between that and Lotus Notes they've done enough terrible things to last a lifetime. SAP 
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Feb 8, 2015 09:56
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I sort of supported an SAP new project product at my pervious full-time job. I definitely had to use it for purchasing. Word was, the thing had been projected for a billion in sales it's first year and actually hit 50 million USD. Based on the workflow and UI I was exposed to, that represents a serious marketing success. Because that product suuuucked. The bad news is, the executives in charge of that shitshow have probably taken jobs with the cloud services you use. Have fun with that.
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Feb 8, 2015 11:19
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