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LazyMaybe
Aug 18, 2013

oouagh
Doing kegel exercises can help.

Also I've heard that fleshlights can be useful in getting used to lasting longer(compared to normal mastrubation) because it's more similar to the sensations of PiV sex, but I can't substantiate that since my only toys are butt toys so that's totally secondhand knowledge.

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Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
My girlfriend told me to stop trolling this thread (and all threads) and apologize because she posts here and I'm embarassing her.

Sorry Sex Questions Megathread.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
OK now I can ask, you know that's an actual fetish thing, right?

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Anne Whateley posted:

OK now I can ask, you know that's an actual fetish thing, right?

Oh yeah definitely, that's where I got the idea. I'll normally go on reddit or tumblr find real issues / problems and tweak them slightly.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Anne Whateley posted:

OK now I can ask, you know that's an actual fetish thing, right?

Wait, what is? Your partner being just completely disinterested?

LazyMaybe
Aug 18, 2013

oouagh
Yeah, of course it is.

Artificer
Apr 8, 2010

You're going to try ponies and you're. Going. To. LOVE. ME!!

Turtlicious posted:

Oh yeah definitely, that's where I got the idea. I'll normally go on reddit or tumblr find real issues / problems and tweak them slightly.

There's odder poo poo than disinterested partner fetish, I suppose.

hoobajoo
Jun 2, 2004

PittTheElder posted:

Wait, what is? Your partner being just completely disinterested?

Yeah, some people think that's hot as poo poo.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

hoobajoo posted:

Yeah, some people think that's hot as poo poo.

Hoobajoo scat fetish confirmed.

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority
Some people are loving dumb.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

Shine posted:

Some people are loving dumb.

Nothing wrong with hypocognitophilia. Dumb people need to be hosed too.


Yes, my wife is a hypocognitophile! Just getting that one in there before anyone else does.

GlassLotus
Mar 16, 2014

I once got a fortune cookie that said "Ask your mom". I've also gotten several blank fortune cookies... I guess that explains why I'm broke.

AlbieQuirky posted:

I don't know which Turtlicious problems to believe in anymore :ohdear:


turttrollicious

GlassLotus fucked around with this message at 09:52 on Feb 12, 2015

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
Glasslotus, furry scaly kink spotted.

BirdOfPlay
Feb 19, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER
:colbert:

Sex Questions Megathread III: Please shut the gently caress up about Turtlicious's kinks

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:
Can anyone recommend any good hygenic wipes?

Something Else
Dec 27, 2004

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022
Ur tongue

Mechafunkzilla
Sep 11, 2006

If you want a vision of the future...

gently caress da Mods posted:

Can anyone recommend any good hygenic wipes?

You seriously need the thread to recommend baby wipes for you?

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty

gently caress da Mods posted:

Can anyone recommend any good hygenic wipes?

Anything unscented. Don't use them on sex toys, use special wipes (or soap and water) for those.

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

if you're loving two girls and come in one and then pull out inbetween spurts and reinsert into the second girl and come inside of her, could girl number 2 become pregnant? just wondering...

edit for clarification: coming in their vaginas.

whydirt
Apr 18, 2001


Gaz Posting Brigade :c00lbert:
Both girls will get pregnant with half a baby. Congrats on fathering two abominations.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
Thank Satan you didn't do it in their butts. Then you'd really have a mess. rear end babies needing butt abortions, plus Santorum visiting your home, twice! :gonk:

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?
Honestly, that's entirely down to how good a job they do at eating each other out after. If they miss a drop you may be in trouble.

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

double dip posted:

if you're loving two girls and come in one and then pull out inbetween spurts and reinsert into the second girl and come inside of her, could girl number 2 become pregnant? just wondering...

edit for clarification: coming in their vaginas.

Well, there's a post/username combo for the ages. I'm not sure of the viability of frogs on unicycles engaging in a threesome, though.

vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

Masonity posted:

Honestly, that's entirely down to how good a job they do at eating each other out after. If they miss a drop you may be in trouble.

the one drop rule applies here

hoobajoo
Jun 2, 2004

Jeoh posted:

the one drop rule applies here

Um, I don't think that means what you think it means. At least, I hope it doesn't.

ManOfTheYear
Jan 5, 2013
How come handjobs always seem to suck?

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

ManOfTheYear posted:

How come handjobs always seem to suck?

Your s.o is dying it wrong. You suck during blowjobs. You massage with a handjob.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?
Jokes aside (this isn't a comedy forum you know! ) the reasons a hand job is the worst sexual contact are:

It's direct competition is masturbation. On one hand someone else doing it feels better than doing it yourself, but on the other you know your own penis better than anyone else and can react perfectly to good or bad while your partner can't.

It's the least intimate form. There's no penetration, bodies aren't close up together usually, and let's be honest, a handy is usually more a compromise act and not what anyone really wanted.

Lube. Mouths self lube. Vaginas self lube. Anyone into anal makes sure they lubricate. But what percentage of hand jobs are lubed affairs?


Don't get me wrong. I still enjoy one more than not getting one, and it's great as part of foreplay, but then it's not generally about getting you to come, it's more about warming things up and teasing and their heart is more likely to be in it.

A good, lubed, enthusiastic hand job can be great. I just doubt it's the norm.

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:
How long can you keep a snickers bar inside a girlsbutt? Not lookin to get her infected

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

gently caress da Mods posted:

How long can you keep a snickers bar inside a girlsbutt? Not lookin to get her infected

Depends what glue you use really.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

gently caress da Mods posted:

How long can you keep a snickers bar inside a girlsbutt? Not lookin to get her infected

Constipated? Why wait?

Chakan
Mar 30, 2011

gently caress da Mods posted:

How long can you keep a snickers bar inside a girlsbutt? Not lookin to get her infected

Please use a flared candy bar for anal play. Best to wrap it up as well.

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant
Just do your thing. If you take too long the problem takes care of itself!:agesilaus: :a2m: :butt:

Rogue AI Goddess
May 10, 2012

I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
That was a joke... unless..?

Masonity posted:

It's the least intimate form. There's no penetration, bodies aren't close up together usually, and let's be honest, a handy is usually more a compromise act and not what anyone really wanted.

Lube. Mouths self lube. Vaginas self lube. Anyone into anal makes sure they lubricate. But what percentage of hand jobs are lubed affairs?
Both of these issues are solved by taking the action to the shower.

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)

Ah yes, water, the greatest lubrication.

Ras Het
May 23, 2007

when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child - but now I am a man.

Ephemeron posted:

Both of these issues are solved by taking the action to the shower.

Or by not being a circumcised freak.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

Ras Het posted:

Or by not being a circumcised freak.


I'm a certified skin - haver and I made the loving comment. Just because we can get ourselves off without lube doesn't mean it isn't a good addition to the act.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

Lube is for pussies

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant

DandyLion posted:

Lube is for pussies
10 grit sandpaper for my handies.

A pumice stone on the glans for maximum foreplay.

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beanbrew
Jan 3, 2011

the way is not in the sky

the way is in the heart

DandyLion posted:

Lube is for pussies

And anuses.

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