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ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
College Slice
Oh, right, got it. Though it does undercut the dude's trying to seem badass when the ending is basically "Yeah, I lost, but I saved an insignificant amount of money by trying to contest it."

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cage-free egghead
Mar 8, 2004

ibntumart posted:

Oh, right, got it. Though it does undercut the dude's trying to seem badass when the ending is basically "Yeah, I lost, but I saved an insignificant amount of money by trying to contest it."

Actually he said he lost money because he took time off of work. But even that was STDH because let's be honest, somebody that silly shouldn't have a job!!!

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you
"I fought the law and the law threw me a bone by compromising so I'd leave the courtroom"

Rudager
Apr 29, 2008
No cop is going into a court and going "uh, I dunno?" no matter what the question is.

Chance are it's not their first time there, or their last, and they would have at least had a little coaching beforehand.

Max
Nov 30, 2002

Going to court to fight the ticket almost always ends in the charges getting knocked down a peg, but you normally don't even have to go in to see the judge for that to happen. They just care about getting the fine out of you.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
College Slice
That was my experience. I showed up and the judge had me confer with the city's attorney, who gave me a standard (and fair) offer right off the bat. That was the procedure, no grandstanding necessary.

cage-free egghead
Mar 8, 2004

Max posted:

Going to court to fight the ticket almost always ends in the charges getting knocked down a peg, but you normally don't even have to go in to see the judge for that to happen. They just care about getting the fine out of you.

Pretty much. For a poo poo That Did Happen, I once had 5 parking tickets, a no proof of insurance, and a driving after suspension on my record (all within 2 months or so). Showed up to whatever state building and saw a hearing officer who instead of having me pay something to the tune of $600 for all of them and a year of suspension, reduced it to $120 and 3 months of probation and I could drive that day. Taking the initiative seems to help with this stuff.

ADHDan
Sep 22, 2006

A genuinely kind goon who goes out of his way to help others. These traits can't be diminished by the fact that he actually likes Minneapolis.

Lowly posted:

Haha, I think he's "proving" that he's not guilty because of reasonable doubt. That only applies in states where traffic courts are still criminal courts, but even if it does apply, "beyond a reasonable doubt" is different than "beyond any doubt." Making sure you pulled over the right car when there are two cars in the vicinity is a pretty reasonable doubt.

In fact, checking to make sure you pulled over the right car is pretty much how you REMOVE reasonable doubt. As compared to, say, the cop that doesn't check any details and just says "gently caress it, there were two cars, I got a 50/50 chance this is the right one."

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
Excuse me, I think you'll find that the CSI had to actually compare my fingerprints against those found on the murder weapon, they didn't already know it was me, so there was doubt.

Clearly you cannot prove I murdered that person beyond all doubt :smuggo:

CombatBonta-kun
Sep 22, 2003
Ehhhh?

Max posted:

Going to court to fight the ticket almost always ends in the charges getting knocked down a peg, but you normally don't even have to go in to see the judge for that to happen. They just care about getting the fine out of you.

On a similar note, I remember a story an old coworker of mine told me that smelled like STDH.

As the story was told, he was driving through a flat, rural area with almost no traffic, so most people were doing about 65-90+ on a 55mph road. Apparently though, the "This Area is Patrolled by Aircraft" signs were legit because a few weeks later he received a ticket in the mail for doing 75mph. The ticket was large enough that he decided to fight it as he was never pulled over and thought he could prove it wasn't him.

The day he goes to court it looked like about 40 people had the same thought that he had since they were all there to challenge their tickets. Court begins and the judge decides to flip a coin to see if he will be going A through Z or Z through A. It lands on tails so he will being hearing people Z though A. My coworker is pissed since his last name started with C and he thought he would be out quickly, but now is afternoon is shot.

The first person steps up to plead their case. The judge doesn't care and they have to pay the whole fine. Next person up, same thing. About 5 people in, some guy is called up. He just smiles and asks if the ticketing officer is present. The judge says no. The guy's smile gets even bigger as he states that if the ticketing officer is not present, he cannot prove that the ticket was issued to the correct person and therefore, the ticket has to be dropped. The judge sighs and drops the ticket right there. Everyone in the courtroom that was waiting to challenge their ticket begin to talk amongst themselves. The next person is called up and asks the same question and their ticket is dropped, the next person does the same and so on and so on. Within 15 minutes, the remaining tickets are dropped. After everyone has left the courtroom, the who first guy who got his ticket dropped starts passing his business card to everyone that was still in the courthouse. Of course, he was a lawyer that specialized in driving related issues.

Now I can't say if this happened or not, but it just didn't pass the smell test (if it smells like poo poo, it is probably poo poo).

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion
From GBS' Post Your favorite Mentally Ill Person thread:


quote:

Jackson13879
10/5/2012 3:13:42 AM
must be honest and straight forward. I am looking for a fellow mature adult who is interested in a friends with benefits relationship. It would be drama free, clean, and discrete. As a very busy guy that is applying to medical school and working full time as a research assistant for a liver transplant specialist at Lurie Children's Hospital, I cannot find the conventional time to go out so I am turning to this. Please do not be taken back by it or displeased. I am only being honest.

Hope to hear from you



ME
10/5/2012 10:36:35 AM
I will be honest and straight forward as well. If you don't have emotions or time to give me then you will need to give cash when we meet. If this interests you, you can take me to dinner first and we can see from there if we hit it off and if we do, discuss further the arrangement.



Jackson13879
10/5/2012 9:02:17 PM
I am very interested, but more curious to know what you demand in terms of monetary compensation for your time. I clearly do have emotions and time to give you, but am not ready to commit to a serious relationship. I am not opposed to paying, but think you would enjoy my company quite well and gain much out of the relationship without the financial benefits. Let me know babe.



ME
10/5/2012 9:26:28 PM
Drama free means no emotions. Since you’re obviously married (aka “discreet”) And like you originally stated, you don’t have time for a relationship.

If you are serious about meeting in real life, I am available this weekend for dinner and I am not promising you anything.



Jackson13879
10/6/2012 12:24:43 AM
Would you prefer to meet at a bar that is low key? I think our first meet can be a little more simple such as a drink to see if there is some chemistry. If we need to run a hurry up offense we can. Do you have any other pictures you can send me to see what you look like? I will be happy to exchange. Do you have facebook?



ME
10/6/2012 1:12:10 PM
Like my profile says, I don't meet just for drinks since all this means is the guy is looking for a fast free hook up. If you can’t invest time for dinner then you could just pay me $20 for my time. Otherwise it’s just not worth it for me. Doesn’t sound like you have much to offer.




Jackson13879
10/6/2012 5:12:46 PM
What is this you just want 20? I am not going to just meet you and give you $20. How is it not worth your time? I think my time is just as important as yours. Would you feel more comfortable at your place and I bring $20 there?



ME
10/6/2012 5:51:03 PM
Sure, strange man, let me give you my address and then please just show up at my door with $20 and I will be happy to provide sex. Are you loving retarded?

Let’s review your stated needs:

1. you contact me telling me you want sex and nothing else.
2. you are unwilling to even buy me dinner first because that is too much of a commitment.
3. you are unwilling to even pay for the cost of drinks; $20, I'd rather just have the cash since I don't drink.
4. The only way you *might* give me a measly $20 is if I give you my address so you can come over asap for sex.

So what exactly do you have to offer other than your cock?


drat, where did he go?

radioaktivitat
Sep 2, 2011
Linked by someone on my Facebook this morning with loads of comments saying how awesome the mother is. It absolutely reeks of STDH to me...

Not Always Learning posted:

Was Bra-ced For A Different Reaction
Secondary School | Surrey, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bully, Parents

(I’m an A&E nurse. We’re not allowed our phones on us; they’re to be kept in our lockers. A call comes into hospital reception on a private line for me.)

Phone: “This is [Teacher] from [School]. There’s been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in.”

Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”

Phone: “[Daughter] has struck another pupil. We’ve been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious.”

(I go to the school and am ushered into the head’s office. I see my daughter, her head of year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.)

Head: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”

Me: “Yeah, things get busy in A&E. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)

Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”

(They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.)

Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”

Head Of Year: “Let’s not over-react.”

Head: “I think you’re missing the point.”

(The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)

Daughter: “He kept pinging my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to ‘ignore it.’ [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”

(I turn to the teacher.)

Me: “You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”

Teacher: “What?! No!”

Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Head Of Year]’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mum’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”

Head: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child.”

Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She’s 5 feet and 6 stone. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”

(The boy’s mum is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the headmaster.)

Me: “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And if you—” *turning to the boy* “—EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”

(I was so angry I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors, several of whom I know from Church (it’s a Catholic school), and was assured it would be strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED (Government-run school monitoring) and they were equally as horrified and assured me they would contact the school. My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.)

Evilreaver
Feb 26, 2007

GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!
Dinosaur Gum

radioaktivitat posted:

Linked by someone on my Facebook this morning with loads of comments saying how awesome the mother is. It absolutely reeks of STDH to me...

I'm literally a saint, nbd

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Should she really be discussing patient treatment with random people? Even if she leaves the names out, it still seems super-sketchy. Why couldn't she just say "I'm sorry, I couldn't get out of work until [X] o'clock?"

KiddieGrinder
Nov 15, 2005

HELP ME

Pththya-lyi posted:

Why couldn't she just say "I'm sorry, I couldn't get out of work until [X] o'clock?"

Because then they wouldn't know what a super star life saving heroic nurse she is, duh!

Also :lol: at "pulling" the bra "undone", they don't work like that unless it completely breaks apart. I guess the author doesn't have much experience with them. :v:

KiddieGrinder has a new favorite as of 11:54 on Feb 26, 2015

Sentient Data
Aug 31, 2011

My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!
Don't worry, the giant evil schoolyard bully learned his lesson by having his victim's mom get mad at the school administration

JGdmn
Jun 12, 2005

Like I give a fuck.
Is there anywhere that people measure height in feet and weight in stone?

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

JGdmn posted:

Is there anywhere that people measure height in feet and weight in stone?

Yes.

BrainDance
May 8, 2007

Disco all night long!

I'm pretty sure British people use feet (and metric? A British person could definitely answer that better.)

I actually don't know any place besides the UK where they weigh in stone. Never looked though.

HopperUK
Apr 29, 2007

Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

JGdmn posted:

Is there anywhere that people measure height in feet and weight in stone?

Yeah, that's how we do it in the UK. Story is still bullshit of the highest order.

CrotchDropJeans
Jan 4, 2015
Came here to post the bra snap story!

KiddieGrinder posted:


Also :lol: at "pulling" the bra "undone", they don't work like that unless it completely breaks apart. I guess the author doesn't have much experience with them. :v:

Every training/junior bra I and most of my friends had at that age had only one hook and was constructed like crap since you're only going to be wearing them for a couple months. If your cup size almost immediately went to B or above you might not have had one, but bras for very young girls with smaller cup sizes almost never have 2+ hooks and are very easy to undo, especially if the girl is wearing an incorrect size (which is hard enough for adult women to figure out). I remember mine snapping off once just because I leaned over and reached for something.

Anyways, the point of the story is great--I'm glad that there's a lot more pushback against boys physically touching girls against their will instead of it being brushed off as "oh he just likes you!" the way it was when I was a kid. But that story is fake as gently caress.

Butt Detective
Mar 24, 2013

Only the dead can know peace from these hats.
I'm flat as a board and mine just snapped one day completely out of the blue after I'd just put it on, despite it basically being under no strain whatsoever. After that I just stopped bothering with them. :v:

CrotchDropJeans
Jan 4, 2015
Now that I think about it, there was a group of boys at my school who would deliberately try to undo bras while snapping them, and were successful several times. I was never targeted, due to my status as someone who was neither popular enough to be taken down a peg, or unpopular enough to be ridiculed. CrotchDropJeans, omnipresent junior high background figure.

An adult woman's bra, especially a nice, newer one, would be pretty hard to undo like that, but a flimsy one-hook bra is no match for a 14 year old boy determined to touch the thing that holds boobies. And yeah, that poo poo should have been punished immediately.

Side note, I was texting my sister about this story and she also said that it sounded like BS that the bra came undone. She had no idea that junior bras (and some adult A-cups) have only one hook. That is because she is a turbobitch who woke up one day with a C cup, while I wore my craptacular WalMart brand trainer til tenth grade. Bitter? A little.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!
Finally, the secret of the bra is in my hands. I am one step closer to much coveted female tits!

codespace
May 3, 2011

Pththya-lyi posted:

Should she really be discussing patient treatment with random people? Even if she leaves the names out, it still seems super-sketchy. Why couldn't she just say "I'm sorry, I couldn't get out of work until [X] o'clock?"

People who work in the medical field talk about work in clinical detail all the time. It's not really an issue.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

codespace posted:

People who work in the medical field talk about work in clinical detail all the time. It's not really an issue.

See here.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

JGdmn posted:

Is there anywhere that people measure height in feet and weight in stone?

Stones make me scoff out loud every time I see it used for measuring weight. :viggo:

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009
Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

radioaktivitat posted:

Linked by someone on my Facebook this morning with loads of comments saying how awesome the mother is. It absolutely reeks of STDH to me...

Someone just posted this same thing on my feed.

Facebook is quickly going from a place to keep up with social contacts to a place of clickbait and clueless family members posting The Onion articles without a hint of irony. At this point its main purpose for me is updates from animal charities and races I follow.

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Maggie Fletcher posted:

Someone just posted this same thing on my feed.

Facebook is quickly going from a place to keep up with social contacts to a place of clickbait and clueless family members posting The Onion articles without a hint of irony. At this point its main purpose for me is updates from animal charities and races I follow.

Seriously. I wish it didn't have such a monopoly on social media because it's insanely convenient for trying to get people together or check up on someone I'm friends with, but not friends enough to need their phone number ever.

Slowly I am hiding most actual people I am facebook-friends with and eventually I will only "follow" five actual people and then a poo poo ton of cat pages.

duckmaster
Sep 13, 2004
Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK

Maggie Fletcher posted:

Someone just posted this same thing on my feed.

Facebook is quickly going from a place to keep up with social contacts to a place of clickbait and clueless family members posting The Onion articles without a hint of irony. At this point its main purpose for me is updates from animal charities and races I follow.

Facebook floated when, 2012? They know drat well their days are numbered (like every social media site ever) and are trying to rake in as much cash as possible before everyone else works it out. That's why they've bought up WhatsApp and Instagram and 25+ other tech companies you've probably never heard of so they can diversify into other markets and maintain value.

People are only just starting to realise that reddit is controlled by corporations and people looking to make money from their profiles, and they're actually pretty open about their business model. Facebook are pulling in stupid amounts of money doing the same thing but giving the illusion that they're nothing more than a great way to keep up with old friends. In reality they're just a market research company.

Our kids won't use facebook and facebook knows this.

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

We use weight in stones here too and everywhere else either uses kilos or lbs and I have no idea how they convert.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
We uses stones here too, but only for measuring people for some reason. Everything else is kilograms.

Sentient Data
Aug 31, 2011

My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

Splicer posted:

for some reason

I'm sure it's the same reason that over here women's sizes are in some arbitrary scale that varies by manufacturer and probably even product line, as opposed to men's clothing which is measured in inches

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Sentient Data posted:

I'm sure it's the same reason that over here women's sizes are in some arbitrary scale that varies by manufacturer and probably even product line, as opposed to men's clothing which is measured in inches
I have been informed by women from several continents that this is not a localised phenomenon.

e: the clothes thing.

Splicer has a new favorite as of 01:11 on Feb 27, 2015

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Splicer posted:

We uses stones here too, but only for measuring people for some reason. Everything else is kilograms.

Yeah we use the metric system for everything except human height/weight. It's weird.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

Sentient Data posted:

I'm sure it's the same reason that over here women's sizes are in some arbitrary scale that varies by manufacturer and probably even product line, as opposed to men's clothing which is measured in inches

It's the same everywhere. Women of the world, we are united on this one issue!

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Sentient Data posted:

I'm sure it's the same reason that over here women's sizes are in some arbitrary scale that varies by manufacturer and probably even product line, as opposed to men's clothing which is measured in inches

ah, marketing.

Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009
Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

EmmyOk posted:

We use weight in stones here too and everywhere else either uses kilos or lbs and I have no idea how they convert.

From what I understand a stone is 14 pounds. Which is a bitch to convert in your head unless you're good with multiples, which I'm not. I end up just doing X x 10 + X x 4, which takes longer than it should.


bringmyfishback posted:

It's the same everywhere. Women of the world, we are united on this one issue!

I'm pretty sure if I ran for president on the platform of standardizing women's sizes, wherein you'd always be the same size no matter what store you shopped at, I'd be voted in by a landslide, regardless of where I stand on other issues.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

Maggie Fletcher posted:

From what I understand a stone is 14 pounds. Which is a bitch to convert in your head unless you're good with multiples, which I'm not. I end up just doing X x 10 + X x 4, which takes longer than it should.


I'm pretty sure if I ran for president on the platform of standardizing women's sizes, wherein you'd always be the same size no matter what store you shopped at, I'd be voted in by a landslide, regardless of where I stand on other issues.

You have my vote.

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Butt Detective
Mar 24, 2013

Only the dead can know peace from these hats.
While you're at it, make sure all women's trousers get decent pockets too. :( I don't know why these people seem to think we don't need pockets.

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